SMW 76

“When did you give me this?”

“Hmm… That evening, after I was interrogated by my boss. About a week ago? That should be it.”

Thank goodness. I let out a sigh of relief, calming my racing heart.

“If you had given this to me right before I left for Seoul, I would have thought you were paying me to get lost.”

“Hey, that’s not it. Even before you left for Seoul, that flower boy took such good care of you. He acted like he couldn’t bring himself to let you go.”

“I know. I know Choi Seol isn’t that kind of person.”

At the very least, I didn’t want to doubt him—the man who must have silently prepared this bankbook while I was struggling with the issue of returning to school. Because of that, I couldn’t help but realize it poignantly.

“Maybe Choi Seol regained all of his memories.”

I muttered hollowly, gripping the bankbook so hard it nearly crumpled.

“I think it’s best not to wait for a call.”

“Yeo-reum.”

“That bastard won’t call.”

Why had I asked so many questions and tried so hard to find an answer?

I looked out the window. The sunset had already faded, and darkness was rolling in. Choi Seol, who used to act like he was the one in pain whenever I was sick, would never have left me alone for this long without a word.

Two days had already passed.

My phone remained silent.

That alone was answer enough.

“I’ll head inside now.”

“…Right. Go get some rest. And take this too. [stolen content]I bought it while [Read on Read BL Novels]you were getting your check-up. Eat this today, and if you’re feeling okay tomorrow, I’ll buy you some meat.”

It was porridge. It looked like it came from a specialty shop, not a convenience store. I took the bag and gave a polite bow.

“I’ll enjoy it. Thank you for everything yesterday and today.”

“Forget it. I enjoyed getting a vacation thanks to you. I guess power really is a great thing. My boss let me go without a word and even saw me off.”

It seemed that even Noona’s care was a reward for that person. Or perhaps a debt of gratitude paid back to Choi Seol.

“I should be the one buying you meat. Tomorrow might be too much, but I’ll contact you in a few days once I’ve recovered. Also, feel free to have a smoke before you go home.”

I gave a faint smile, gesturing toward the unlit cigarette between Noona’s fingers. Even if it were a reward, the fact that Noona had looked after me this much was clearly a gesture of kindness and affection. I shouldn’t distort that as well.

I stopped Noona as she tried to follow me out of the car to see me off and stepped inside the main gate. As I passed through the middle gate, the courtyard piled high with fallen leaves and the wooden veranda came into view.

Only then did I let out a long breath, feeling that I was finally home. The tension from the sudden outing seemed to dissipate. Perhaps that was why the house felt even more nostalgic and welcoming.

But was this place always this big?

Feeling a strange sense of dissonance, I stepped into the yard, and the sound of rustling filled the quiet [unauthorized copy]space. It was the season where the yard would be buried in fallen leaves if neglected for even a single day. However, I had never once seen the leaves pile up like this throughout the entire autumn. Whenever I woke up, the yard was always neatly [unauthorized copy]cleared, and I would only find the piles of leaves gathered in one corner. We loved to burn those at night and stare blankly into the fire.

“I should sweep the leaves first.”

Pushing aside memories that had now become mere recollections, I barely managed to recall my daily routine. Stepping on the rustling leaves beneath my feet several times, I stepped onto the veranda and set down the paper bag containing the porridge. In my heart, I wanted to lay my body down as well, but I felt that if I lay down now, I wouldn’t be able to get up again. The weather was cold. And there was no one left to wake me up.

I dragged my heavy body into the room. As I passed through the partitioned rooms, a heavy silence followed me. The house had seemed large a moment ago, but now it was too quiet.

Finally, I pushed open the last sliding door and stepped into the room. I flinched, shrugging my shoulders at the sudden rush of chilly air. Now, it was too cold.

Why is it so cold? Looking around blankly, I saw that the door leading to the narrow porch was open. It was the place I had bolted through to avoid Choi Seol. It seemed Choi Seol hadn’t had time to close the door while chasing after me. Since only someone had left and no one had entered, it was natural for it to be open.

It was a relief that the weather was cold. If it were summer, not only insects but all sorts of creatures would have invaded through that gap. Perhaps mice or cats had come and gone.

The blanket was still rumpled, just as I had kicked it off. My first thought was that I needed to wash the blanket. Dust must have piled up, so I should vacuum too. And I had to sweep the yard.

Suddenly, I burst out laughing. It was bittersweet yet reassuring that even while my body and mind felt like they were dying, I was thinking about cleaning. I felt that I would be able to go on living as if nothing had happened.

It was just as I turned around to look at other parts of the room.

“Meow.”

Is that Il-sun-i? At the welcoming sound, I hurried toward the backyard. I reached the spot where the cat bowls were, but Il-sun-i, whom I had hoped for, was nowhere to be seen. Instead, stray cats that visited occasionally, though not every day, were lingering around.

A week had already passed since the typhoon ended. Why hasn’t Il-sun-i appeared yet?

“Aya. What are you doing?”

A voice came from the crumbling wall in the back. It was the grandmother from the persimmon tree house below, from whom Choi Seol had once received ribs.

“Hello.”

“Take this.”

I reached over the wall to take the black plastic bag in her wrinkled hand. It was filled with persimmons.

“Thank you.”

“Right. I heard something happened; are you alright? My ears are failing me, so I couldn’t quite hear what the other old ladies were saying.”

It seemed she didn’t know the detailed circumstances. It was a blessing in disguise.

“I was just… sick, so I went to the hospital for a bit.”

“Oh, where are you sick?”

“I was, but I’m okay now.”

“Is that so. Why is a young thing getting sick. What about that handsome young man? Is he sick too?”

I answered a bit late to the grandmother, who was peering around me over the wall.

“It’s not that, he just went back home because he had some work.”

“He went back? Then he’s not coming back anymore?”

“…Yes.”

I should have said, I think so, but my throat tightened. I bit my lip for no reason and forced a smile.

“He had planned to go [unauthorized copy]back before the weather unauthorized copygot colder anyway, so that’s how it happened.”

“Oh dear. Even so, it would have been nice if he’d said goodbye. If he had, I would’ve packed him a few things.”

She seemed quite disappointed. Most of the villagers would probably react similarly if they heard the news. That was how much of a busybody he had been. I felt like I should say something in response out of politeness, but fearing I would fall apart if I did, I remained silent. Fortunately, a savior appeared.

“Meow.”

It was the cats lingering around the food bowls.

“Looks like the kitties are asking for food.”

“Yes. I guess so.”

“Come to think of it, a few days ago, a white kitty died on the road.”

My heart sank.

“A white… cat?”

What color was Il-sun-i’s fur? I don’t think it was purely white. There was some unauthorized copygray mixed in, and if you looked closely, there were visit our sitebrown patches here and there. I asked urgently.

“What about the body? What happened to the body?”

“The body? I think Old Man Park from the house above cleared it. He probably burned it. That old geezer is always burning something in his backyard.”

The grandmother, who had been cursing that all the smoke drifted toward our house, said she had to go and headed back toward the village.

I think I stood there for a long time.

I came to my senses when the wind blew. As the chilling air brushed against my cheek, I looked up to find a darkness where not even the stars were visible. The stray cats, perhaps exhausted, were nowhere to be seen in the yard. I was alone in a space of absolute silence.

Alone.

I stared blankly at the empty cat bowl. It felt so strange. This was a place that had seen more of Choi Seol’s touch than mine. Is that why Il-sun-i isn’t appearing? Because Choi Seol is no longer here.

Roadkill happened occasionally even in the countryside. Whenever such news reached me over the wall, I would often spend the entire day staring at the cat bowls. Only when all the cats I knew appeared and ate their fill would I finally feel relieved and go back into my room.

I knew.

I knew roughly what it meant when a stray [visit our site]cat you saw every day suddenly [unauthorized copy]stopped appearing. Even so, I thought Il-sun-i would naturally return. And yet.

“Did you leave too?”

So suddenly? No, maybe not suddenly. It was for me, but it might not have been for you. When I opened the door earlier, there was only one set of rumpled blankets. My blanket and the clothes I had taken off. Other than that, you left no trace anywhere. I thought your scent might remain, but as if even that were unacceptable, the cold wind had swept it all away.

I thought I wasn’t. I thought I had forgotten it for a moment while thinking about cleaning, but the fact that I was still searching for traces of Choi Seol made me laugh in absurdity. Suddenly, the bankbook I was still holding caught my eye.

Because when you can’t have it, you crave it desperately, but once you hold it in your hand, the excitement quickly fades.

“Bad bastard.”

To think he was already preparing for the end while whispering that he loved me. He always acted as if he were the one who would be abandoned, but it seems I was the one actually left behind.

Regardless of the truth about his memories, I never doubted the fact that Choi Seol liked me. But now, even that was wavering.

My eyes stung from the biting cold wind. I rubbed them, and the back of my hand became wet. Only then did I realize I was crying. And I realized one more thing.

It wasn’t only Winter who missed Summer. Summer had always missed Winter as well. I had simply forgotten for a while. When I realized that fact, I was alone again.

“Will you be alright?”

Immediately after leaving Han Yeo-reum’s hospital room and getting into the car, Baek Han curled his lips upward at Manager Yoon’s words.

“Why? Are you afraid Seol will throw a fit if he finds out I scared the kid?”

“Because he also has quite a personality.”

“That’s true. I raised him that way.”

Baek Han wore a somewhat satisfied smile, recalling the eighteen-year-old Choi Seol he first met in America. Unlike other kids, he was a boy who was quite satisfying to mold.

“Come to think of it, since you two were together in America, you must know each other well.”

“I know him well. So even if he finds out about today, he’ll be quiet for the time being.”

“For the time being?”

“Because I taught him that a promise must always be kept.”

Manager Yoon hesitated for a moment. It seemed he still had something more to say.

“Why? Do you not trust my words?”

“No. It’s just that, since Ms. Baek Seol-ha’s current state is unstable…”

“Ah, the amnesia.”

“Yes. But… does the Vice Chairman not believe that she has lost her memories?”

At Manager Yoon’s cautious question, Baek Han’s eyes narrowed.