SMW 73

Choi Seol, who had been walking ahead of me, stopped. I asked again, speaking to his back as he had yet to look around.

“Did you hear what the senior and I were talking about?”

Only then did Choi Seol turn his head. In that moment, I realized the senior was telling the truth. Choi Seol’s expression, which was usually unreadable, was now completely transparent.

He knows. He knew.

I stepped past the stationary Choi Seol and headed outside. Ignoring the voice calling out to stop me, I walked straight onto the veranda, where the slippers Choi Seol had been wearing were lying. As I slid my feet into them, I felt a lingering, lukewarm body heat. It made me feel miserable. I wanted to scream right then and there, but I just kept walking.

Choi Seol’s voice reached me again. I ignored him once more and had just crossed the bridge leading toward the road after exiting the main gate.

“Han Yeo-reum!”

Choi Seol finally caught up and grabbed me.

“Talk to me.”

“Later.”

I shook off his hand and walked forward, but before I could get far, I was grabbed again and spun around.

“Han Yeo-reum.”

“I wasn’t… I didn’t feel that seriously about it.”

An excuse slipped out before I could stop it.

“Even if it was my first love, it was just a momentary whim of childhood. You were handsome, and… cool. That’s why, I guess I just fell for you without realizing it. It’s just, it was my first time feeling that way, because it was the first time…”

The more I rambled on with excuses, the hotter my face grew, the more my chest ached, and the more tears fell. To be honest, I was dying of embarrassment. Even if I had never even considered confessing, my first love at seventeen had been sincere, and it was also a matter of pride. Yet, it had been exposed so hollowly.

What on earth did he think of me? How ridiculous must I have seemed to him, pushing away and rejecting the person who was my first love. He might have even thought I was just playing hard to get.

Then, what about when he first suggested we kiss? Did he think I would obviously agree? How easy must I have seemed for accepting that. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to be sarcastic, irritable, and scream at Choi Seol.

But when I actually looked at his face, all that came [Read on Read BL Novels]out of my mouth were petty, shallow excuses. That unauthorized copymade me feel even more embarrassed and [visit our site]wounded in my pride. More than anything, I was terrified of how Choi Seol viewed me.

And the truth I eventually realized made me feel even more miserable.

“And, it was ten years ago, right? Right now, I truly don’t have a single shred of feeling or ulterior motive toward you… I only brought you from the hospital because I genuinely wanted to help. So, don’t get the wrong idea…”

“I know.”

My rambling excuses came to an abrupt halt at his somewhat hurried yet firm voice.

“I know that you don’t have feelings for the current me. So I’m not getting the wrong idea. I never expected anything. And let me be clear: I have never once thought about using those feelings or playing with you.”

“….”

“I mean it. Believe me.”

Why? I’m the one suffering the most right now, so why does he have that pained expression? If that was intentional, he was truly a bastard.

And yet, I couldn’t help but believe those words. Ten years ago and even now, I was always weak when it came to Choi Seol.

“I just had a sudden thought. I thought you hated me, Han Yeo-reum, visit our sitebut since you’re saying that’s [unauthorized copy]not the case now, looking back at the past, I wondered if you might have felt the same way Read on Read BL NovelsI did. Even so, I never imagined I would be your first love. And then…”

Choi Seol stopped, unable to bring himself to say the next words. I think I knew what the rest of the sentence was.

“Then you heard the senior and me talking.”

There was nothing to say or criticize about that. In a house where the soundproofing was so terrible that the phone ringing in the next room was clearly audible, it was largely my fault for not being careful. Perhaps I should have been prepared for this from the moment I brought my ex-boyfriend into a space where I lived with Choi Seol.

It was the same for Choi Seol. Just as Noona said, I shouldn’t have reached out to him again on the day we went up to Seoul together.

In the end, I was the one who trampled and defiled the first love of seventeen-year-old Han Yeo-reum. Suddenly, everything felt exhausting.

“For now… fine. But I want to be alone right now.”

The good thing about being in the countryside was that there were plenty of places to be miserable alone. Whether it was the mountains, the stream, or the ridges of the rice paddies, I felt like I needed to wander anywhere just to clear my head.

“I’ll go clear my head. So, go inside the house first.”

“Then I’ll leave.”

I wished he would just let go of my arm, but Choi Seol only made my mind more unsettled.

“Why you? I’m not trying to kick you out.”

“I know. But if you need to clear your head, do it at home. Don’t go anywhere else.”

“How am I supposed to clear my head at home?”

“Pace around the yard. Regardless, don’t go anywhere I don’t know.”

Choi Seol’s face distorted as if he couldn’t bear it any longer.

“Please. Please, just stay here.”

It was strange. I had never once left him. Yet Choi Seol acted as if he were wounded, as if I had abandoned him. It was truly strange, but that sight was enough to shake my heart.

“Alright. I get it, so just let go of this…”

It was then. My gaze inadvertently drifted over Choi Seol’s shoulder. I didn’t know why. A car was approaching us, and for some reason, it felt unsettling. It was speeding, but the road we were standing on was wide enough for a car to pass comfortably even with two people standing there. Despite that, the moment I first met Choi Seol flashed through my mind, and my heart fluttered.

“Han Yeo-reum?”

Sensing something unusual in my demeanor, Choi Seol looked back as well. Perhaps he felt something too, as I felt the grip on my arm tighten.

“First, move to the side…”

Just as I tried to push Choi Seol away, thinking we had to avoid it, I was instead pulled into his embrace.

What—!

Simultaneously, a massive roar and a violent impact struck my body. A vibration that shook me to my bones rattled my brain. For a moment, it felt as if time had stopped, and then, with a thud, a pain erupted that felt as if my entire body were shattering. The ground was cold. Only then did I realize I was lying on the asphalt.

What on earth happened? I was completely disoriented. No, I was dizzy. And it was hot. Even though my back touching the ground was freezing and the tip of my nose was piercingly cold, this heat would not subside. Winter was clearly approaching, so why was it so hot?

“Han Yeo-reum!”

Ah, it’s Choi Seol.

At the sound of my name, I barely managed to lift my heavy eyelids. However, my vision only flickered like a dying lightbulb; no matter how hard I tried to open my eyes, it wouldn’t clear up. It was heavy. I felt as if my body and mind were being pulled infinitely down toward the bottom.

“It’s okay. You’re not hurt.”

“….”

“Han Yeo-reum, you’re safe. You’re safe.”

Why did Choi Seol’s voice calling my name sound as if he were whispering to himself? Regardless, I could tell that his voice was desperate.

Only then did I realize that the heat and weight I felt belonged to Choi Seol. Then, was this trembling his as well? Though faint, I could feel it precisely while held in his arms.

Choi Seol.

I wanted to call his name too. But whether it was my mind or my heart or something else, I was too shocked for words to come out. Separate from the heat, I felt a sense of cold. Yet, the body temperature enveloping me remained warm.

Ah, I remember. One winter, when it was freezing to the bone, I had been held in your arms just like this. Why had I forgotten that so completely? It was a perfect memory to keep as a first-love memento.

I wanted to express my regret for forgetting it for ten years, but I kept feeling sleepy. Or maybe I was just tired, or maybe I was hurt. Did I hit my head? I might have been hurt enough to not even feel it. I thought that when I opened my eyes again, I might lose my memory just like Choi Seol did.

Surely I won’t die. If I were to lose part of my memories, which memories would I be able to recall?

Seventeen-year-old Choi Seol.

Seventeen-year-old Han Yeo-reum.

That wouldn’t be so bad. Although it wasn’t a love where the world was beautiful and one only walked on flower paths like others, it was still good.

As my consciousness drifted away, Choi Seol’s voice sounded distant. Suddenly, I missed winter.

The pungent smell of disinfectant brushing against the tip of my nose and a stark white ceiling captured in my blurred vision. The air, both unfamiliar and yet not, pricked at my nerves.

“Han Yeo-reum?”

As I barely managed to turn my head, a blurred silhouette appeared before my eyes.

“Choi Seol?”

My voice was severely cracked. Before I could even wonder, I blinked as my focus gradually sharpened, and a familiar face came into view.

“Noona?”

“Fuck, I was terrified that your memory had vanished too.”

She suddenly swore. I was about to protest and ask why she was picking a fight, but then I looked around. The layout of the room was far too unfamiliar to be a house.

“Where is this?”

“Where else would it be? The hospital.”

“…The hospital?”

“Don’t you remember? You had an accident, a car accident.”

“A car accident…!”

In that instant, the memories from before I lost consciousness rushed back. I bolted upright.

Or I tried to. But there was no strength in my body. My upper body, halfway raised, collapsed back down. As I stared blankly at the IV needle in my left hand, Noona hurriedly supported me.

“Hey, what are you doing moving so suddenly? I just called the doctor, so just lie still. Setting aside the injuries, you’ve been unconscious for a full day.”

A day? After a brief moment of shock at the [stolen content]absurdly elapsed time, [visit our site]I squeezed out the last of Read on Read BL Novelsmy strength to grab Noona.

“What about Choi Seol!”

“…Huh?”

“Where is Choi Seol? He was with me then. A car was definitely speeding toward us and Choi Seol…!”

“Han Yeo-reum!”

Perhaps because of the sudden excitement, my stomach churned. As if I truly hadn’t eaten a thing, I dry-heaved several times in a row, and Noona’s voice grew urgent.

“Damn, why is the doctor taking so long. Just wait a moment. I’ll go get him.”

“Noona, wait…”

I tried to stop her, but before my weak hand could even reach out, Noona had already stepped outside.

That wasn’t the important part.

I had to know if Choi Seol was safe, and where he was now.