SMW 19

If I were honest, I felt that Choi Seol would likely leave without looking back, but seeing his current behavior, I had a hunch that might not be the case. Either way, it was clear that things would become irreversible. I was hesitating, not knowing how to put it into words.

Gurgle.

“…….”

“…….”

Whether the timing was good or bad, a sudden sound of hunger echoed, and I quickly clutched my stomach. As soon as I became aware of the sound, a fierce hunger washed over me. Come to think of it, I really hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast. I stole a glance at Choi Seol.

“Shall we eat something first?”

“I’ll go buy something.”

Our words overlapped simultaneously as if we had been waiting, and we paused for a moment, looking at each other. I was the first to snap back to my senses.

“Let’s just go out and eat together.”

“You have to wait about thirty more minutes to finish the IV drip.”

“I’ll just stop here. You said it wasn’t serious anyway. I feel fine now.”

I deliberately straightened my back and put on a bright expression.

Suddenly, a good idea occurred to me.

“Let’s go eat tteokbokki.”

We entered a snack shop near the hospital.

“What do you want?”

“Pick whatever you want.”

“Got it. Then I’m choosing for both of us.”

I quickly checked the menu and went to the counter. When I returned after ordering, Choi Seol wasn’t in his seat. Since the shop wasn’t very large, I easily found him filling water from the dispenser. As I stared blankly for a moment at his appearance, which remained the same as it was ten years ago, Choi Seol soon returned.

“I mixed hot and cold, so it’ll be lukewarm.”

There was no further explanation, but I could tell it was a gesture of consideration. I followed Choi Seol to the seat and held the cup in my hand. Perhaps because it had been warmed by hot water once, the cup felt slightly warmer than just lukewarm. Or perhaps it was simply because my own body temperature was still like that.

“You’re still the same.”

“…….”

I felt Choi Seol’s gaze at my murmur. I asked with a casual smile.

“Do you remember? You took me to a snack shop just once. You said it was a place that made great tteokbokki.”

“I remember.”

Fortunately, Choi Seol’s reaction was faster than it had been at the hospital.

“Back then, I think you ate the sundae better than the tteokbokki.”

“I tend to eat sundae better than tteokbokki.”

“So that means you don’t actually like it. Is there any specific food you’re fond of?”

“I usually just eat whatever I’m given.”

“That’s unexpected.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah. You’ve always been clear about what you like and dislike. So I naturally assumed you’d be the same with food. Or that you’d be the picky young master type.”

Choi Seol frowned, asking what that was supposed to mean. Just then, the kimbap, which was the fastest of our orders, arrived. I reached for the cutlery holder, but Choi Read on Read BL NovelsSeol was faster. He pulled Read on Read BL Novelsout a tissue, laid it in front of me first, placed the spoon and chopsticks on top of it, and only then began to take his own.

I suddenly wondered. Was this kindness a remnant of his personality from when he was seventeen? Or had Choi Seol always been like this to others over the past ten years?

“Everything else is like that.”

As I was lost in thought, Choi Seol continued the conversation that had briefly paused.

“Like you said, I’m usually clear about what I like and dislike. But I don’t have much greed when it comes to food.”

“Hmm. In a word, you have no appetite for gluttony?”

“Of course, there are things I dislike.”

“What is it? Maybe sweets?”

Choi Seol’s hand, which was picking up a piece of kimbap, paused. At the look in his eyes that seemed to ask how I knew, I let out an exclamation of admiration.

“You’re totally built like a male lead.”

“Male lead?”

“You know, the male protagonists in romance novels or dramas. Handsome, tall, fit, good-looking, rich, and perfect in every way, but they usually have a setting where they aren’t very fond of food and specifically can’t eat sweets.”

“……It’s not that I can’t eat them.”

“Anyway, it means you don’t like them. I’ll bet my chocolate cake that there’s nothing in your current refrigerator except bottled water and beer.”

Choi Seol, who had been listening to my words as if they were sounds from a distant galaxy, raised an eyebrow. He added, as if contradicting me.

“I don’t believe there’s anything like chocolate cake at home.”

“Just consider it a grand wish in my heart.”

“You don’t need a grand wish; you can just buy some on the way back.”

“The ones from the bakery here taste bad. Shall we say they haven’t escaped the 90s whipped cream style? There’s a reason why I’m being forced to become healthy since coming to the countryside.”

I murmured gloomily. In a rural area where you have to drive nearly thirty minutes just to find a mart to buy a single snack, junk food was the first thing to be given up. Naturally, food delivery wasn’t an option. As an alternative, I ordered semi-prepared foods from the internet to cook at home, but there was an inevitable difference between that and eating something fresh or piping hot upon delivery. The taste was certainly fine, but the mood just wasn’t there.

“That’s why I’m telling you, we have to eat everything we want when we’re out like this. Let’s buy hamburgers after this. I saw one open up next to the mart recently. Oh! The tteokbokki is here.”

Following the kimbap, the tteokbokki, fried snacks, sundae, and ramen were served on the table one after another. I swallowed hard and quickly picked up a piece of rice cake with my chopsticks. It was a mediocre taste typical of a chain, but on an empty stomach with a few pieces of kimbap already in, everything tasted like paradise.

“Then why did you come to the countryside?”

It was just as I had dipped a fried seaweed roll into the tteokbokki sauce. I looked up, chewing with my mouth full. Choi Seol hadn’t even picked up his chopsticks yet. I answered only after I had chewed and swallowed everything in my mouth.

“Just, because I wanted to rest for a bit.”

“…….”

“My family went bankrupt when I was a sophomore in high school.”

I could see Choi Seol’s surprise. Though it was only his handsome eyes widening slightly.

Feeling that the misunderstanding would grow if I stayed silent here, I picked up a piece of sundae and added kindly.

“It’s nothing grand, just a common family history. Because of my father’s business, the family situation became difficult, so I worked part-time while attending school, and so on. Because of that, I messed up the CSAT and ended up retaking it. At first, I thought, ‘What’s the point of college when I have no money?’ and planned to just work, but my parents were dead set against it. Just then, my maternal uncle said he’d support the first semester’s tuition if I went to college, so I eventually studied again. I must have been lucky because I got into a pretty decent school the following year. Though I regretted it once I actually went.”

“Regretted?”

“Even though my uncle supported the tuition, I had to earn my own living expenses. Since the tuition was only covered for one semester, I had to take out student loans from the next year onward and pay interest. Since I needed money in many ways, I had no choice but to keep working part-time. Whether it was short-term, long-term, or manual labor, I did everything I could. I didn’t specify a location, so during vacations, I traveled all over the country. Trying to balance that with studying, eventually, I couldn’t even rest when I was sick.”

Honestly, I didn’t think I’d end up telling Choi Seol this much. If I had been in my early twenties, my pride would have never allowed it. Even now, my feelings weren’t much different. After all, one always wants to show only the best side of themselves to their first love.

And yet, the reason I felt so light-tongued today was likely because of that consistent gaze that didn’t show any sentimentality toward my story. With just that silent look that said, I am focusing on your story right now, I couldn’t stop talking.

“And so, before I knew it, I became a senior, and that’s when I had a mental breakdown. My body was sick, and though I thought I was studying reasonably well, nothing had changed from my freshman year. I started wondering what on earth I was doing here……. So I ran away to the military. And after returning, I switched to a general leave of absence and came straight down to the countryside. That’s the reason.”

I deliberately spoke lightly and beamed at Choi Seol.

“How about that? With this kind of visit our sitetrack record, I’m qualified [unauthorized copy]enough to look [Read on Read BL Novels]you in the eye and talk to you, right?”

Choi Seol’s eyes wavered slightly. I had never really thought about it, but it was unexpectedly interesting that his expression could change and waver with a single word from me. If so, how about this?

“You remembered that book, didn’t you?”

“…….”

“The one with the little wizard on the cover. You’re the one who lent it to me.”

There was no way a quick-witted person like Choi Seol wouldn’t remember. While it was ten years ago for me, it would have been only a few months ago for him. After a short pause, Choi Seol spoke.

“I thought it might not be my book.”

“Why did you think that?”

“Didn’t we decide that since I lost the library book you borrowed, I would return my own book instead?”

As expected. He had known but pretended not to at home. And then, to suddenly change his attitude and mention proving his memory—why on earth did he do that?

“I just didn’t return it because I wanted to give that book back to you. No matter what, I felt that wasn’t right. Anyway, thanks to you, I was able to read a book I liked until the end, so I was grateful…….”

I wrapped both hands around the water glass Choi Seol had brought. A faint warmth could still be felt from the glass.

“I thought you might want to read that series again someday. I [Read on Read BL Novels]felt visit our site[visit our site]it would be annoying if the first volume was missing then.”

If I told him now that it was actually because I hated the thought of that book, soaked in your scent, being touched by a stranger, what would you think? No matter how dense a person is, there’s no way they wouldn’t know that’s a confession. And there’s no way I could actually say it.

Because I am a man with the same gender as you. This was a feeling that had to be buried forever. Still, the reason I mentioned the book first was that I didn’t want to create a situation where we would misunderstand each other.

“Then, if you wanted to give it to me, why do you still have it?”

The words that had been flowing smoothly stopped here. It had to. To explain that, I would have to mention what happened that day. The time I had intended to return the book to you was the closing ceremony, when the scent of winter still lingered.

“It just happened that way. I just never had the chance to give it to you.”

“……I see.”

It was an excuse that anyone could tell was a vague brush-off, but Choi Seol didn’t pry further. I quickly changed the subject.

“As I said before, I think I can understand to some extent why you said those things at home. I was flustered then, but hearing you say you were leaving home at the hospital snapped me back to my senses.”

“That is…….”

“So, let’s go together.”

At my sudden suggestion, Choi Seol’s eyes widened. I quickly added, fearing he might misunderstand.

“The address written on the documents stolen contentNoona gave visit our siteyou—I’ll go with you when you go there. It’s probably anxious to go alone, right?”

“……Are you serious?”

“If you’re okay with it. I want to.”

“I, I…….”

Wavering, and even looking flustered. All sorts of emotions that had been hard to find throughout the day were flickering across Choi Seol’s face.