SMW 40

“Han Yeo-reum.”

“…….”

“Han Yeo-reum!”

“Yes? Ah, hot!”

Ash from the cigarette held between my fingers fell onto the back of my other hand. As I threw the cigarette away and made a fuss over the sudden mishap, I heard a clicking sound of a tongue, as if someone found me pathetic.

“Tsk, you didn’t even answer when I called you, and in the end, you wasted a perfectly good cigarette.”

“Is that the problem right now? I almost got burned.”

“Well, who told you to get distracted? I came out here to keep my loyalty to you, and yet you have no manners.”

I felt wronged because Noona was scolding me instead of worrying about me.

“Who was the one who suggested we have a smoke on the mountain first?”

“Who said let’s smoke in the dead of night? I meant for us to meet briefly during the break after lunch, but you sold your soul for money and crawled up that mountain, so it got pushed back. Don’t you know how the countryside works? If people start saying you and I are having a secret affair, are you going to take responsibility?”

“Why would you say something so scary?”

“That’s why you need to behave. Don’t give people a reason to misunderstand.”

Based on the standards of elders who still held old-fashioned views, a man and woman of marriageable age being together was enough to invite embarrassing suspicions. Since both Noona and I absolutely loathed the idea of such misunderstandings, we were actually quite careful within the village. The reason we had no choice but to meet this late was because of me.

“So? What were you thinking about so deeply just now?”

“What?”

“Is it because of the Flower Bachelor again?”

Having been hit right on the mark, I missed my timing to answer. Noona, who was incredibly perceptive, wasn’t about to let it slide.

“Listen. If that incident on the day of the closing ceremony bothers you that much, why don’t you just talk to him honestly? Sometimes it’s better to make the first move.”

“Honestly… as in how?”

“Tell him everything before he remembers what happened on the day of the closing ceremony. Tell him that, frankly, it’s burdensome that he’s being kind to you for that reason, and that you honestly don’t know what you did wrong back then, so ask if he remembers anything. If you start the conversation like that, he’ll probably start thinking about it too.”

“Isn’t that too honest? What if we actually end up fighting?”

“Then you fight. Isn’t that better than him regaining his memory later and claiming you deceived him? [unauthorized copy]Even the craziest soap operas have less visit our siteresistance if there’s a preview. Besides, you said you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“That’s true, but…….”

Now that I had to be certain, I hesitated. People can hurt others without even realizing it. Who knows if I was such a case for Choi Seol? I was suddenly terrified by the thought that I might be hated. It seemed Noona could see that in my eyes.

“It varies from person to person, but the Flower Bachelor will probably be fine.”

“……Why do you think so?”

“I learned this during my time as a police officer: when people are near someone they hate, their body has a physical rejection response first. In short, if the heart hates, the body hates too.”

“So… you’re saying that even if he lost his memories, the affection Choi Seol shows me is genuine?”

“Not just genuine. It seems like he likes you a lot.”

For a moment, my heart pounded loudly.

“I-it’s not like that.”

“How do you know it’s not? It’s obvious just by looking. Even my father said so. He said it looks like Yeo-reum brought home a new bride to start a household.”

“What?”

Suddenly, my head spun. Between the heat rising in my face and the fact that even my stubborn grandfather saw it that way, it meant Choi Seol was being quite blatant. Dammit. Why is the guy who seems the least likely to do it doing things I’ve never even tried?

“Hahaha, the village head is just joking. Why would he say something so terrible?”

“Hey. Are you discriminating against sexual minorities right now?”

No, seriously, did these people all watch some documentary on sexual minorities together?

“That’s not what I meant. And Choi Seol isn’t gay.”

“He’s ‘not’? Then are you gay?”

Both this Noona and Choi Seol have a way of speaking that really hits a gay person right where it hurts.

“O-of course not.”

“I’m joking, I’m joking. But whether his orientation is that or not, what does it matter? You don’t always need a reason to like someone.”

“Why wouldn’t you need one? We live in a world where such reasons are necessary.”

“Oh? You’re sounding quite heavy now.”

“I’ve come to realize that as I’ve lived.”

People can be infinitely generous toward those who have nothing to do with them. However, an exception stolen contentalways applied when the subject was family or stolen contentan acquaintance. That was also why I couldn’t be honest with the prejudice-free Noona. It was the [stolen content]same for Choi Seol. No matter how I looked at it, as a gay man, I could tell he wasn’t one of us. My intuition told me so. That was why I couldn’t hastily trust the feelings he showed me.

“Anyway, please don’t link me and Choi Seol like that. What if someone hears and misunderstands?”

“Misunderstand what? They’re just the elders of this village. If they were open-minded enough to have such a misunderstanding, they would’ve been able to communicate with me. And do I have so little to do that I’m just linking people together? You two handle your own relationship.”

“……Well, that’s a relief then.”

Actually, because I couldn’t “handle it” myself, I felt like consulting someone. Noona was the right person for it. Should I just come out completely? I was seriously contemplating this when—

“But whether it’s friendship or any other emotion, stop linking yourself to him out of pity.”

For a second, I thought my mouth had come out on its own.

“What does that suddenly mean?”

“You just feel sorry for the Flower Bachelor. Honestly, you worrying about him is as useless visit our siteas a [stolen content]civilian worrying about a celebrity, but it seems like you believe there must be a reason for every emotion.”

As I stood there unable to respond to the undeniable truth, Noona gave me a worried look.

“You still know there hasn’t been a single missing person report for the Flower Bachelor, right?”

“I know. I’ve asked frequently.”

As soon as I came down from Seoul, I briefly explained Choi Seol’s situation to Noona and asked for her help. It had already been two weeks since she promised to let me know first if any report came in looking for Choi Seol.

“Don’t you find that strange? Not a single person has looked for him.”

“Usually that would be the case, but I heard Choi Seol has no family or acquaintances at all.”

As I spoke, I thought of Choi Seol’s biological father, but I decided to exclude him. In fact, it seemed more beneficial for Choi Seol that there was no news from that side.

“That might have been an important circumstance when he was a teenager. [Read on Read BL Novels][visit our site]But he’s twenty-seven now. Do you not have any friends?”

No, why is everyone so curious about my social life?

“I do, but I haven’t contacted them since I was discharged from the military, so I’m not sure if we’re still friends.”

“What about that twenty-year friend, the ‘King of Bluffing’?”

“Gyeong-ho? He contacts me occasionally, but I’m usually the one ignoring him because it’s a hassle.”

“Anyone else?”

“Like I said, after my discharge…….”

“Tsk, this guy’s life is as bland as the radish water in our house.”

Why does that sound like an insult? For the record, I’m crazy Read on Read BL Novelsabout [stolen content]radish water. How delicious is it as a side dish or with noodles when you lose your appetite in the Read on Read BL Novelssummer? And how delicious is it when you drink a bowl straight from the jar with slushy ice in the winter… Anyway.

“Why is the fire suddenly jumping to me while we’re talking about Choi Seol?”

“This is all called ‘eye-level education.’ You should roughly get what I’m trying to say. Did you forget everything we talked about on the mountain?”

Noona was right. Once a person passes twenty, their world naturally expands. As opportunities to form bonds with others who aren’t blood relatives increase, the number of people who would look for me if I disappeared for even one day inevitably grows.

“No matter how closed off a person’s relationships are, at twenty-seven, they’re at an age where they go somewhere every day—whether it’s school, work, or a part-time job. In that situation, if someone is missing for nearly a month, anyone would think it’s strange and look into it. Especially since the Flower Bachelor is…….”

She stopped abruptly. As I focused on why she stopped, Noona leaned closer and asked.

“Did you see the documents I gave the Flower Bachelor?”

“The personal information you gave Choi Seol? Why would I look at that?”

“He didn’t show you? He didn’t mention it at all?”

“Neither.”

There was one time when my eyes met his while Choi Seol was opening the envelope and looking at what was inside. Immediately, Choi Seol put the documents back into the envelope. What did that mean? It meant he didn’t want to show me.

I had no desire to see someone else’s personal information either. Still, seeing that attitude right in front of me, I couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt.

“He has no reason to show me. What exactly are he and I to each other?”

“You two definitely need to have a conversation.”

Noona clicked her tongue shortly at my voice, which sounded quite gloomy even to my own ears.

“That’s why I’m saying it’s dangerous to be linked by pity. How long are you going to keep that Flower Bachelor—the one you say you’re nothing to—with you?”

“Until his memory returns, I guess?”

“So how much of that memory needs to return? Step by step until he’s twenty-seven? This is a play on words, but if he finds his memories up to twenty-six and the last year never returns, are you going to take responsibility for him for the rest of your life? Just because you feel sorry for him?”

“That’s… it’s not necessarily for that reason that we’re together.”

“Then for what reason?”

When asked like that, I found myself speechless. Right. For what reason am I keeping Choi Seol by my side?

In truth, right until my finger was almost scorched by the cigarette, I was thinking of the poignant Choi Seol on the mountain. I felt bad for him because he couldn’t properly grieve the death of his only family, and I wanted to comfort him. Could that not be called pity? But I didn’t want to conclude that it was simply because he was pitiful.

Then what else could it be? Lingering feelings for a past first love? Or because he told me he likes me? Or perhaps I want some compensation for a love that was never fulfilled?

As I listed the reasons that came to mind, every single one seemed worse than, or at best equal to, pity. It was truly the worst.

As I stood there in silence, having lost my words, I heard Noona click her tongue.

“That’s why I’m telling you to talk. Watching you two is like watching something too vague and airy. A relationship like that can break badly later on. You know the calm before the storm? That’s exactly where you two are right now. A state so quiet that it seems like there are no problems. But based on what you say, there are plenty of latent issues. So ask the Flower Bachelor. Ask him what on earth he wants to do with you.”

Noona was right. I couldn’t keep pretending not to know the situation and ignoring it forever. Yet, why was I still unable to make up my mind?