SMW 58

I glanced at the tightly closed sliding door. The typhoon seemed to have calmed down; should I just kick him out now?

“So, you’re saying you like that guy right now?”

“…….”

I paused for a moment, then frowned.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I remember why you, who were so guarded, opened your heart to me.”

Thump, thump, thump. My heart began to race.

“And?”

I tried to ask back nonchalantly, but the senior gave a smirk as if it were already too late.

“It was because of your first love.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

The denial flew out of my mouth before I knew it. Suddenly, I felt a sense of urgency.

“It absolutely wasn’t, so don’t you dare say anything strange to Choi Seol. He doesn’t even know that I’m… that way.”

“I didn’t say that guy was your first love.”

“……What?”

“So, that guy named Choi Seol really is your first love.”

Only then did I realize my mistake, but it was already too late.

“I see. But you said he doesn’t know you’re that way?”

“Sunbae.”

“I won’t tell. I’m not that cowardly. It’s not exactly a good thing for me either. Though, if you keep making that face, I might feel like becoming cowardly.”

Is he threatening me or what? I bit my lip hard.

When my family’s financial situation worsened and I turned twenty, I was exhausted. Because of that, I think I was starving for even a little bit of warm attention and understanding. The senior was the person who quenched that thirst. For that small kindness, there was nothing I wouldn’t do or say.

To think it would come back as regret now.

“Yeo-reum.”

While I was chewing over my regrets, the senior’s face drew close.

“What the—!”

“Yeo-reum. Shall we kiss?”

At that moment, there was a violent knocking on the door. The sound came from outside. As if shattering the silence, the typhoon began to blow fiercely again. My heart pumped rapidly, heating up in sync with the endless rattling sound. Just as I was about to raise my clenched fist toward the senior—

Clatter. With the sound of the sliding door opening, Choi Seol appeared.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

My excited heart stopped at the flat, toneless voice. Since when had he been awake? How long had he been standing there?

Surely… he didn’t hear the conversation between me and the senior?

“D-did you wake up? Sorry. Was it too noisy?”

I barely managed to pull myself together and tried to approach Choi Seol. But before I could, my arm was pulled back, forcing me to turn around.

“Yeo-reum. We still have things to talk about.”

I got goosebumps at the soft, coaxing voice.

“Sunbae.”

“As I said before, I don’t want to put you in a difficult position.”

This bastard was actually threatening me. I wanted to throw the punch I had missed earlier right now, but my body wouldn’t move. I was afraid the senior might let something slip to Choi Seol.

What should I do? But I’d rather die than go along with what this guy wants.

“Han Yeo-reum.”

It was then. I felt a faint tug on my clothes along with a dry voice right behind my back. When I turned around, Choi Seol had approached and was holding onto the hem of my shirt.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Huh?”

“The wind is too scary, I can’t sleep.”

“…….”

I’d been thinking this for a while, but isn’t he being a bit too half-hearted about being scared of visit our sitethe wind? And yet, this time, [visit our site]a laugh escaped me first. Moreover, Read on Read BL Novelsthe sight of his two large fingers clinging to my clothes just like before was cute.

“Yeo-reum.”

Conversely, the wrist the senior was holding now actually hurt. The way he pushed me around with force without my permission was beyond annoying; it was utterly unpleasant.

“If you don’t let go in three seconds, I’m hitting this senior.”

“Yeo-reum.”

“One, two… it’s already two and a half.”

The moment I clenched my fist while counting to three, the senior stepped back. As expected, there was nothing to hesitate about. If I had to choose between an ex-boyfriend from ages ago who had seen everything and a confession-maker with the title of an unfulfilled first love, wasn’t the answer obvious?

As soon as I turned around, I reached out to Choi Seol.

“Let’s hold hands and sleep. Then you won’t be scared.”

Choi Seol’s eyes widened slightly, as if my reaction was unexpected. He’s the one who played the trick, yet he’s the one surprised. Without waiting, I took Choi Seol’s hand and interlaced our fingers defiantly.

“Let’s go.”

As I led the way, Choi Seol followed obediently. I could feel the senior’s intense gaze on the back of my head, but I didn’t care anymore. Right now, I just wanted to get back to the room quickly.

Actually, I was a bit excited. To think that my [visit our site]mood, which had been scraping the bottom [Read on Read BL Novels]just a moment ago, would soar like this at Choi Seol’s appearance.

But that didn’t last long. The moment I entered the bedroom, shut the door firmly, and looked back at Choi Seol, I met a calm gaze. Reality hit me.

“Uh, um… when did you wake up?”

I asked as nonchalantly as possible, but inside, I was tightening to the point where I couldn’t breathe. Just how much had he heard? From the beginning? If the timing had been good, he might not have heard anything at all, but wasn’t that almost impossible?

Due to the nature of the old house, there was absolutely no soundproofing between adjacent rooms. So, if one set their mind to it and listened, even whispers could be heard. For example, things like “kiss” or “first love.” Those were words I couldn’t ask about.

“I don’t know.”

The response that finally came was as calm as the gaze I faced.

“I just woke up and you weren’t here, so I came out to look for you. I thought I heard voices coming from the veranda, so I opened the door and saw you with that person you called ‘sunbae.’”

“……Is that all?”

“What else is there?”

Choi Seol looked peaceful, as if that truly was all. Since he acted this way, there was no way I could dig deeper. He really didn’t hear anything, right?

“It’s nothing. I just had a bit of a fight with the senior over a difference of opinion. So I asked because I was worried the noise might have woken you up.”

“About returning to school again?”

“Huh? Uh, yeah. Something like that.”

He really didn’t hear. While I felt relieved, my heart pricked at the gaze that seemed to be worrying about me.

“But it’s okay. I don’t care about what the senior says anymore. You comforted me, too. So… it’s okay.”

I trailed off and lowered my head, avoiding Choi Seol’s gaze. This was the worst. Choi Seol had simply lost his memories; he had always been truthful with me. He hadn’t even hidden his confession of liking me. Yet, I always became a liar in front of him.

I was too ashamed to lift my head, knowing that his heart, which worried for me, was being used to hide a romantic drama with the senior. But telling the truth was even more impossible.

“Shall we just sleep? It’s already dawn. We’ll oversleep tomorrow at this rate. Choi Seol, you should also quickly…”

“It wasn’t noisy. I didn’t hear anything until I got close.”

For some reason, I felt like he was emphasizing that just for me to hear. Surely, it couldn’t be. It must be a delusion created by my own hope.

“Really? Then that’s a relief. Ah! By ‘relief,’ I mean… I’m glad you didn’t wake up because of the noise…”

“I know.”

“…….”

“Let’s sleep now.”

Choi Seol didn’t ask further and led me to the blanket. Our hands were still interlaced. I was gripping quite hard, perhaps out of some desperate feeling. I noticed late and tried to let go, but the more I did, the more firmly Choi Seol held on. I felt the tension in my hand transferring to Choi Seol.

“Um, this hand…”

“Just lie down first.”

Led by the gentle force, I lay down first, and Choi Seol soon took the spot beside me. Looking blankly at Choi Seol’s face in my field of vision, I snapped back to my senses.

“What? Go sleep in your spot.”

“This is my spot.”

What? I tilted my head. The spot where I had lain earlier was empty. Now that I saw, he had laid me down in his own spot.

“Then I’ll go over there, so let go of my hand.”

“You said you’d hold my hand.”

“What?”

Only then did I remember the fuss I’d made in front of the senior.

“That was…”

“I told you the wind is blowing too hard and it’s scary.”

I couldn’t be firm again against that half-hearted fear. Before I could, the blanket was pulled over me.

“Sleep quickly.”

Peeking out from under the blanket that almost covered my face, I saw Choi Seol close his eyes first. I stared at him blankly and suddenly spoke.

“Why do you fall asleep so fast?”

At my words, Choi Seol opened his eyes again. Seeing his eyebrow twitch as if he found the question random, I quickly added:

“It seems like you fall asleep right after closing your eyes.”

I suppressed the urge to scold him, asking how he could sleep so well with the person who likes him right next to him, and instead let out those words. Only then did Choi Seol chuckle.

“Maybe it’s because I’m comfortable with you beside me.”

Then why are you only comfortable? No matter how I looked at it, it was too different from my love. I pouted, dissatisfied with that.

“Still, this time I’m going to sleep first. So don’t sleep until I fall asleep.”

“Okay. I got it.”

Choi Seol readily answered even my childish complaining. Then, he stared intently at me. I told him not to sleep, not to stare. Yet, far from being burdened, I felt reassured.

It felt as if I were being protected in the most cozy embrace in the world. At the same time, the breath and body heat mingling in the same space kept shaking my heart.

It was a strange thing. Just as people change, hearts change too. A heart that has been diluted and faded eventually becomes nothing. Yet, why can you still shake me? Even though there’s nothing that makes me crazily flutter or painfully distressed like back then—even though I’m someone who can brush off your confession of liking me as if it’s nothing.

Perhaps it was just a lingering attachment. Perhaps it was because, unlike with the senior, I hadn’t tried anything with you yet.

The window was rattling incessantly in the strong wind. Despite that, all my senses were focused on Choi Seol. Because of the warm body heat and steady breathing felt right beside me, my eyelids grew heavy and drowsy, and I closed my eyes.

“Good night. Once you take a nap, the typhoon will be over.”

The soft whisper acted like a magic spell, and sleep quickly washed over me. I felt as if I were dreaming. The season there was winter.