SMW 57

“Wh-wh-wha… Why would I touch you?”

“I’m just giving you permission. I’m seducing you.”

Seducing? Who the hell does this brat think he’s playing with? He clearly had a look on his face like he was enjoying my reaction. Just a moment ago, he was acting like a puppy, asking if we could sleep together, and now he’s acting so brazenly, as if it’s already a done deal. It was irritating enough to make me want to scream.

“Forget it. Who do you take me for? Hey! I won’t touch you, I’m not touching you, and I’m not sleeping with you! Why on earth would I sleep with you! I’d rather die than sleep with you!”

“Really?”

“Really! Do I look like I’m joking? Even if the typhoon rips this house apart, see if I ever sleep with you. No matter what kind of seduction you try, I’ll never… Hey! Why are you taking your clothes off!”

Choi Seol, who had been listening to me quietly, suddenly stripped off his shirt. I was so startled I almost hiccuped.

“I’m changing into pajamas.”

Choi Seol continued to undress as he walked into his room. Every time he moved, the firm muscles of his back stole my gaze. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t seem to close my gaping mouth.

It was then that Choi Seol looked back and asked.

“Aren’t you sleeping?”

This is bad. I can’t fall asleep.

I tried counting the rafters one by one, and I tried just staring blankly at the ceiling, but my mind only grew clearer. Outside, the typhoon must still be wreaking havoc, yet the surroundings were strangely silent.

When I shifted my head slightly to look beside me, a broad back filled my vision.

In the end, my heart softened. It was absolutely not because I succumbed to the temptation of that desirable back. But what could I do when they said the wind was so terrifying? I was simply feeling sorry for him in a pure sense.

But how can that brat be sleeping so soundly after lying down for such a short time? And he even turned his back to me as if to show off. Aren’t you supposed to be too fluttery to sleep when you lie down with someone you like? Even though my first love ended ten years ago, it still bothers me enough to keep me awake.

The more I thought about it, the more resentful I felt. Should I just wake him up?

I was in the middle of a tactical deliberation on whether to put it into action or not.

Choi Seol tossed and turned. Contrary to the resolve I had just hardened, my head snapped back toward the ceiling. I froze, unable to move a muscle like a corpse in a coffin for fear of waking him, until the tossing and turning subsided. Then, the sound of steady breathing returned.

Phew, that was a close one.

It seemed he had fallen into a truly deep sleep, not just unauthorized copya fake one. Is it even possible to fall asleep this quickly? To me, someone who usually tosses and [unauthorized copy]turns for [visit our site]over thirty minutes before barely falling asleep, it was nothing short of a miracle.

Regardless, it had been a long time since I felt this nervous. Unlike when Choi Seol first came to this house, eating together, cleaning, and sleeping in the same space no longer felt awkward. Separate from the current nervousness, I felt no repulsion at all.

Is it really okay to be like this?

Since I had deferred my answer to Choi Seol’s confession, acting like this could be seen as deceiving one another.

I had learned firsthand that love is something that starts out wonderful and ends up painful. That was why I thought it would surely be agonizing to meet Choi Seol again, but I was inwardly flustered by a situation that was the exact opposite of my expectations.

Perhaps it’s because I have no feelings for the current Choi Seol.

As I sank into these serious late-night contemplations, I suddenly sensed a presence. Just in case, I glanced to the side, but the broad back didn’t budge an inch.

Did I hear something wrong?

Then, I heard the sound again. It seemed to be coming from beyond the door.

I carefully got up and stepped outside, making sure not to wake Choi Seol. The moment I closed the sliding door and looked back, I almost screamed. A man’s silhouette was clearly visible through the thin paper of the sliding door leading to the veranda. I didn’t even have to wonder who it was.

That man, seriously.

With a distorted face, I strode forward and flung [stolen content]the sliding door open. As expected, my unauthorized copysenior was standing there.

“What are you doing here?”

“You managed to realize I came.”

My senior, who seemed surprised by my sudden appearance, displayed healer-level recovery and beamed at me.

“I suddenly missed you.”

“Sunbae.”

“And, it’s cold while sleeping. By the way, it seems warm in here.”

“…….”

The only room with heating was the one I shared with Choi Seol. Since I couldn’t sleep with my senior, I had given him the ondol room right next to the veranda, which was the least cold option, so hearing him complain about the cold left me speechless. Even so, what did he want me to do about it? It wasn’t even winter yet, and I had even provided a thick duvet just in case.

By feeding and housing an ex-boyfriend from way back who showed up unannounced and without consent just to upset me, I was already showing an immense amount of consideration. If it weren’t for the typhoon, I wouldn’t have let him set foot in this house in the first place.

“If you’re cold, take more blankets out of the closet. But Sunbae, weren’t you usually not sensitive to the cold?”

“I wasn’t. But since you’re so sensitive [unauthorized copy]to the cold, I spent all my visit our site[stolen content]time in warm places for you, and I guess my immunity dropped.”

What on earth is this man talking about?

Without realizing it, I looked back first. Fortunately, the room where Choi Seol was sleeping remained firmly closed. It seemed he hadn’t woken up for now, but was the soundproofing here any good?

“Sunbae. Please just go back now—”

I said that, intending to get rid of this man, and turned my head. The expression on my senior’s face as our eyes met was strange.

“What is it?”

“Which room are you sleeping in?”

“Why all of a sudden…?”

“Did you sleep with that friend by any chance?”

This man, I’ve had enough of this.

“Just come outside. Not here.”

I pushed my senior out from the threshold [visit our site]and stepped outside. The moment I [Read on Read BL Novels]closed the room door, I led the way straight toward the veranda without visit our sitelooking back, and I heard him following close behind.

Even though I had closed all the folding doors, a chilly breeze filled the veranda. Since I was wearing only a thin t-shirt, my body instinctively shivered. Then, something was draped over my shoulders.

“Keep it on. You’re sensitive to the cold.”

“I don’t need it.”

I took off the cardigan draped over my shoulders and returned it immediately to its owner. My senior accepted it obediently but wore a disappointed expression.

“Don’t be so guarded. I just wanted to see you.”

“That’s why I’m asking why. We’re nothing to each other anymore.”

My senior’s gaze wavered for a moment.

“I… I didn’t feel that way. I didn’t want to end things with you like that.”

“I wanted to, and I did. And that was your choice, Sunbae. I told you clearly. I wouldn’t wait.”

“Studying abroad was inevitable. We were good together. I thought it was a situation that a couple could sufficiently handle. There were ways to visit each other when we had time. But even then, you flatly said you wouldn’t wait, and then you switched to someone else in no time.”

I let out a hollow laugh. I don’t unauthorized copyknow why I have to listen to this kind of talk now, Read on Read BL Novelsfive years after we broke up.

“Just think of it simply. To me, you were someone I didn’t want to endure even that much for.”

“Yeo-reum.”

“And just so you don’t misunderstand, it wasn’t ‘someone,’ but ‘people.’ I’ve done quite a bit of transferring since you.”

My senior’s face stiffened. If Choi Seol was the first person I truly gave my heart to, this man was the one who first made me realize what it meant to have a deep relationship with someone. Not that I only learned the good things. Regardless, thanks to him, I had become a complete gay man.

“Men? Surely… you mean you’ve met several men since then?”

“If you count the casual flings, it’d be around seven people?”

It wasn’t as if I was someone who constantly swapped men. It was just that, strangely, I kept breaking up with every person I met due to their own circumstances.

Because of that, I had seriously wondered many times if there was some curse on my romantic fate. As the breakups repeated, a strange stubbornness grew in me, and I met new people even more desperately, which is why the number increased quite a bit.

While doing so, I think I had a sudden thought. Perhaps I was still longing for my first love.

“If you came here expecting something from me, give it up. You’ll never be able to achieve what you want.”

For the sake of both of us, it was [visit our site]right not to leave any room for hope. My senior seemed to realize [visit our site]this as he soon lowered his head.

“If you say so, then I suppose that’s how it is. Yeo-reum, you are very affectionate, but you’re a child who is decisive when cutting ties.”

“…….”

“That’s why it’s even sadder.”

I remained unmoved despite my senior’s bitter mutterings.

Ah, so this is it. This is what it feels like to have a heart that doesn’t feel a single shred of emotion worth spending, a connection that has truly ended. While I thought it was natural to feel absolutely nothing, I was also surprised on the other hand. Because I had never felt this way with Choi Seol.

“Anyway, they say the typhoon will pass around dawn, so please leave as soon as it gets light. Have breakfast at a rest stop on your way. I don’t want to eat with you anymore.”

“How cold.”

“Think about what you did. You didn’t even apologize to Choi Seol.”

“…….”

My senior remained silent. Rather than being caught off guard, he seemed to have his pride wounded. Honestly, since I knew exactly what kind of person he was, I didn’t even expect an apology. I just wanted to make him feel slightly uncomfortable. Just as he had done to me, and to Choi Seol.

“Yeo-reum used to be cute, but now you’re not cute at all.”

Should I just hit him?

No, violence is not the answer. I clenched my fists and squeezed out the last of my patience.

“People change. And I wasn’t cute back then either.”

“No, you were cute. You’d turn red if I touched you just a little, and you were so shy. It was so cute how obvious it was that you were walking on eggshells to match my mood.”

“That’s only because I liked you, so it was natural.”

Wait a minute, why am I bothering to respond to my long-gone ex-boyfriend’s trip down memory lane?