SMW 97

Since it wasn’t as if I hadn’t sensed a presence at all, I replied calmly, without surprise.

“Do you think Il-sun-i is still alive, Noona?”

“Well, thinking rationally, it’s fifty-fifty. Roadkill isn’t that uncommon on rural roads. I’ve personally buried a few while living here. But I feel it’s too early to jump to conclusions about Il-sun-i.”

“Is that because you said before that she might not have come back because she was giving birth to and raising kittens?”

I had thought she was just saying it to comfort me, but it seemed Noona had been sincere.

“Yes. If it were nearby, maybe, but we have to consider the possibility that she gave birth far away. In that case, she might not be able to make it back here because of the kittens. This neighborhood is generally good about feeding cats, besides us.”

“That would be a relief.”

“Anyway, don’t worry too much. Il-sun-i’s mother disappeared suddenly and then came back with Il-sun-i. This could be similar. Animals always find their way back to where they belong.”

Find their way back to where they belong, huh.

Those words made me think of someone.

That’s why I looked for you. I missed Yeo-reum.

Perhaps twenty-seven-year-old Choi Seol had also come looking for me, searching for the place where he belonged. I still didn’t fully know what his life had been like for those ten years, but it must have been lonely. That was likely why he had taken the hand I reached out to him every single moment, despite his lack of shame.

Then how about now?

“By the way, don’t those guys look like they’ve gained weight?”

At Noona’s question, which broke my reverie, I looked at the cats. As she said, their backsides as they ate were all quite plump.

“They’re probably just bloated. Or maybe they’ve gained ‘winter fluff’ since it’s getting colder. You said it yourself before, Noona—what would stray cats even eat to put on weight?”

“Usually, that’s true… but that one, that one, and that calico over there are all regulars at your house. Those ones definitely gained weight. You feed them so well.”

“You feed them too, Noona.”

“I do, but since I work overtime as if it’s a meal, I don’t have the consistency of unauthorized copygiving it on time. Regardless, you’re the one who fed them and grew them. Look, at [Read on Read BL Novels]first, those guys [unauthorized copy]were completely skin and bones with their fur falling out, but look at how plump they are now and how their coats shine.”

Eating and surviving. It might be the same for humans, but from my observations of stray cats in the countryside, it seemed that was truly their only goal. And most of the cats that came to my house for food were those who couldn’t even manage that well. It was true that I started feeding them because they looked intimidated and struggled to take care of themselves, just as Noona said. Honestly, seeing them become so healthy made me feel proud.

Looking back, twenty-seven-year-old Choi Seol was the same. He looked so overwhelmed by the task of taking care of himself that I couldn’t help but reach out to him. As Noona had said before, it was close to pity. As we spent time together and I saw Choi Seol gradually come back to life—talking more, laughing, and becoming more comfortable than at first—I think I felt quite proud.

It wasn’t like I was doing some kind of volunteer work.

Could the quick-witted Choi Seol have possibly not known that? I couldn’t imagine how bitter it must have felt to be pitied by the person he liked. It suddenly occurred to me that Choi Seol probably never considered the possibility that I liked him, right up until the final moment we parted.

“What are you thinking about?”

Noona asked, perhaps because I had been too quiet. I hadn’t mentioned Choi Seol to her once since that day. So, it would have been better to shake my head and say it was nothing. But for some reason, I couldn’t even pretend today. My thinly worn pajamas and my bare hands and feet, exposed to the air, were too cold. Perhaps that was why I missed those words—that he missed Yeo-reum.

“I keep thinking about him.”

Out of a final shred of pride, I didn’t use his name, but Noona would have understood well enough.

“You shouldn’t keep thinking about him.”

At Noona’s firm words, my shoulders slumped. Yes, thinking rationally, that was indeed how [unauthorized copy]it should be. He wasn’t someone I could easily meet even if I wanted to Read on Read BL Novelsanymore. So, like those cats, it was right for me to forget quickly and live my own life.

But how do I forget? I spent a great deal of time trying to forget my first love at seventeen. Do I have to do that again? I had no idea how much time I would need this time.

It was then.

“I’ll send you a contact number, so try calling it.”

Noona took out her phone and her fingers moved busily. I stared blankly at her and replied foolishly.

“My phone is in the room.”

“Then go get it.”

“Who is it?”

“Someone I contacted when I was helping the Flower Boy sell his car; that person was a Baek, too. I must have written the name down. Ah, here it is. Baek Hee-won.”

“…Baek Hee-won?”

The moment I heard the name, a memory from ten years ago was pulled to [visit our site]the surface. Baek Hee-won was definitely the name of a friend who used to follow Choi Seol [unauthorized copy]around in the first year of high school. Seeing my shocked reaction, Noona asked.

“Do you know him?”

“I’m not certain, but probably. Is he a young man?”

“His voice was. He was so polite that at first, I wondered if he was a used car dealer. But he wasn’t; he seemed to be close with the Flower Boy. Though he didn’t explicitly reveal his identity.”

Noona handed her phone over to me entirely.

“If you know him, that’s great. Call him now.”

“Huh? No, wait. Why should I…”

“Why indeed? You said you missed the Flower Boy.”

I was speechless at Noona’s sudden question. Contrary to having just said I missed him, a frightened sound escaped my lips.

“But he might not want to see me.”

“What?”

“I mean, that must have been his intention since he hasn’t contacted me once until now. Even if I contact him now, there’s no guarantee he’ll meet me.”

It was only the other day that I had seen an article stating that Baek Seol-ha, the eldest son of H.S. Chairman Baek Han-gu, was scheduled to be inaugurated as president next month. It was the first news I’d heard of him since parting with Choi Seol. The emotion I felt upon seeing that was neither anger nor betrayal. I simply felt relieved that he was doing well and was safe. The next emotion that surfaced was longing and fear.

“Even if I want to see him, there’s no guarantee the other person feels the same, so why should I go looking for trouble…”

“Just stop overthinking and meet him if you can. Don’t make a fuss in your head and create something you’ll regret later.”

Noona cut me off as if she couldn’t listen to any more.

“Anyway, everything you just said isn’t coming from the Flower Boy’s mouth; it’s just a guess inside your head.”

“But based on the circumstances…”

“Yes, based on the circumstances, you can certainly think that. But in life, there are many times when what you see isn’t everything. Just look at crimes; there are often cases where the culprit is the guy everyone around them said would never do such a thing. That’s a bit of an extreme example… but anyway, you can’t know a person’s inner thoughts just by observing them from the side. Can you be certain that you know everything about the Flower Boy?”

“…No.”

In reality, at seventeen, we had misunderstood each other a great deal, and [unauthorized copy]because of that, we ended our relationship in the worst possible [Read on Read BL Novels]way, without ever being honest with each other or attempting anything. If we hadn’t met again like this, I might have visit our sitelived my whole life carrying those misunderstandings about my first love. The mere thought was horrific.

I looked at the cats eating for a moment. Most of them had names I had given them. Giving a name and calling them wasn’t just simple affection. It was an obsession, a desire to hold them in my heart in a more concrete form because they were lovely and precious. That was why I wanted them to live more happily with me, and I hoped they would rely on me when things were hard. I no longer fed those cats simply because they were pitiful.

Similarly, the permission that I would wait for you forever and that you could return at any time was not a feeling that could arise from mere pity.

“Noona is right.”

Just as I had changed, Choi Seol’s heart might have changed as well. But I didn’t want to judge, decide, and give up on my own, just as I had ten years ago. I felt that if I did, I would truly regret it for the rest of my life this time.

“I really should talk to him.”

I looked at the phone Noona had given me. The contact labeled ‘Flower Boy’s friend Baek Hee-won’ was displayed on the screen. I steadied my breathing and pressed the call button.

“…”

“…Mr. Han Yeo-reum?”

“Yes?”

When I snapped my head up, Executive Director Kang was [visit our site]staring intently at me. [stolen content]Only then did I come back to my senses.

“I’m sorry, I was just remembering something from the past.”

“It’s quite alright. There are times when that happens. Looking at you, Mr. Han Yeo-reum, a memory comes to mind for me as well. Honestly, I was surprised to see that you haven’t changed at all since then.”

I looked at the man with puzzled eyes.

“…Me? Do you know me?”

“Yes. Of course, we only spoke briefly at school, so you likely don’t remember.”

School? At first, I wondered if I had failed to recognize someone famous, but I became even more confused.

I looked at Executive Director Kang more closely than before. He was certainly older, but with his straight back and shoulders, a smooth face without a single wrinkle, and rimless glasses, he looked extraordinary just from his aura.

The only person of that sort I had met recently was Vice Chairman Baek Han. Since he mentioned school, it must have been a long time ago, but then wouldn’t it be even more unlikely that we’d have met?

It was then. The frames of the glasses Executive Director Kang wore glinted in the light. Suddenly, a scene from long ago flashed through my mind.

Right. You’re friends with Seol-ie?

I let out an exclamation.

“Oh? By any chance, back then, the homeroom teacher…”

“I believe I warned you clearly earlier.”

A cold voice interrupted. Turning my head, I saw Choi Seol striding toward me, wearing a bathrobe of the same design as mine. He then blocked my view with his broad back. While I was dazed by the sudden loss of sight, a fierce conversation continued.

“I hope your memory hasn’t been deleted just because you’ve aged, Executive Director Kang.”

“Hardly. I maintain my health strictly as I still have a mountain of work to do.”

“Then what is this trick? I believe I told you clearly not to let anyone approach this person. Surely you didn’t mistake the ‘anyone’ to not include yourself, Executive Director Kang.”

Isn’t he being too rude to an older person?

Startled, I tugged at Choi Seol’s sleeve. In response, he grabbed my hand. It seemed he had seriously misunderstood my intention.