SMW 91

I reflexively grabbed and shook off Baek Min-ah’s hand as she reached toward me, frowning.

“What is it?”

“Huh? Oh, your tie was loose.”

Only then did I look down to see that, as she said, my tie was half-undone. I must have fiddled with it unconsciously because it felt stifling.

“It’s fine. I’ll do it.”

I immediately straightened my tie. Deciding it would be better to fix the knot from the start, I completely undid it and began to tie it again. Meanwhile, her gaze, fixed on me, was irritating. Perhaps she felt quite embarrassed at being rejected; seeing her look flustered while clutching the hand I had brushed away, I finally spoke.

“Basically, I hate it when people touch me. I’ve never allowed it with anyone else, either.”

“Sorry. I’ll be careful from now on.”

I would have preferred it if she had clung to me, claiming she felt hurt; I could have used that as an opportunity to cut her off completely. However, as if determined not to make another mistake, she obediently stepped back beyond the line I had drawn. Moreover, she made things awkward by adding a promise for next time, making it ambiguous to reject her.

“But that’s unexpected. Seeing how you were with that boy earlier, I had no idea you were like this.”

I stopped my hands from fixing the tie and looked at her.

“Why bring him up all of a sudden?”

“Hmm? No, just… that boy was even wearing your coat earlier. You held his hand first, and you tried to lend him your scarf. Seeing how you absolutely detest others touching you, I figured that boy must be special.”

Of course he was special. Simply because I liked him, I allowed Han Yeo-reum everything. No, I wanted to be allowed. I hoped he would take an interest in me, even in the smallest things. If it were Han Yeo-reum, I felt I would be perfectly happy even if he bothered me all day long. And I wanted to be touched by him.

Asking Han Yeo-reum to tie my tie yesterday had that kind of meaning for me.

Though I didn’t want to admit it, I was jealous of that noisy fellow lingering around Han Yeo-reum. He was doing everything I wanted to do but couldn’t. That was why I lost my mind when Han Yeo-reum personally tied that guy’s tie, and hearing him mention marriage on top of that made my blood boil.

In the end, I let my temper flare for the first time in a while and stormed out of the classroom. But after hearing what Baek Hee-won unauthorized copyhad to say as he followed [visit our site]me, I ended up heading back to the fourth-floor restroom. When I drove away the low-lifes I encountered there and faced Han Yeo-reum, I realized I had reached my limit.

Trapping the fleeing Han Yeo-reum inside a restroom stall under various pretexts, I felt a thrill at the fact that he was within arm’s reach. Even though I knew I shouldn’t get close to him, I could no longer control my heart. But since I couldn’t touch Han Yeo-reum, I undid my tie instead. I hoped that, at the very least, the tie would touch him.

Effortlessly ignoring the emotions of that moment brought back by Baek Min-ah, I replied coldly.

“Didn’t I tell you earlier to stay completely out of his business?”

“Tsk, seriously, how cold. Fine. I get it. I’m totally ignoring it. Shutting it down. You’re really mean when you think about it.”

She seemed nonchalant, but Baek Min-ah was too young to hide her lingering disappointment. However, I couldn’t comfort her. I knew very well what that girl wanted from me. At first, I might have been nothing more than a pebble that rolled in, using her brother’s death as an opportunity to make her mother’s life difficult, but now she probably just wanted to lean on someone’s kindness enough to act friendly toward me. It meant that household was still a mess. Therefore, I could not give her what she wanted.

It was a truly difficult thing. Especially since the person I actually wanted to do those things for didn’t want them.

I looked at the scarf I had received from Baek Min-ah. I had tried to give the book, the bag, and this scarf to Han Yeo-reum, but in the end, he returned everything. But I didn’t want to return a single thing that belonged to Han Yeo-reum. Because if I did, the link between us would truly be severed.

That was why I had asked Han Yeo-reum, who said he would return the book in the restroom yesterday:

Won’t you miss it?

— That’s true, but I need to know how to let go. I can’t keep thinking about that forever.

Han Yeo-reum might have literally been talking about the book, but to me, it sounded like he was urging me to give up on my feelings for him, which left me feeling bitter. No, I think my heart actually ached.

Something so easy for you was so incredibly difficult for me.

That’s why I intentionally didn’t bring your bag or book to the meeting to exchange items. I had never actually lost the book in the first place. Your scent lingered in that book. I don’t mean a literal physical scent. It was a trace of the image of you, clutching that book tightly and gazing at it lovingly throughout the supplementary lessons. I wanted to hold onto even that.

Otherwise, I didn’t know where my twisted desires would lead.

Even though it was October, the weather was quite cold. At first, while I couldn’t take my eyes off you—looking clearly dressed up to the nines—I was worried you’d be cold, and I felt angry. So, when I offered my coat and saw you wrapped snugly in it, I felt greedy again.

Suddenly, I found myself wishing the weather were even colder. I hoped that you wouldn’t be able to endure it alone and wouldn’t even think of taking off my coat. I wanted to make it so that even if I used the cold as an excuse to trap you in my arms, it would be inevitable. Just as I had trapped you under an umbrella on a rainy day, or trapped you in a narrow restroom stall using the homeroom teacher and the tie as excuses, I felt a wicked impulse wishing I could do it again.

That was why, even though I knew I should be careful for your sake, I impulsively promised a next time. I had bound you with a promise I didn’t even know if I could keep.

Looking at it that way, my kindness wasn’t exactly a good thing for you. This murky Read on Read BL Novelsdesire to possess you, stolen contenteven knowing it would [stolen content]make things hard for you, was enough to remind me of a certain someone.

Perhaps the person who resembled that human the most was actually me.

“Contact me if you need anything next time. I’ll pay back the debt I owe you today then.”

“I was planning to, obviously. I can’t waste such a great opportunity just because I ate it like a dessert. Let’s go. I’ll take you to the hospital.”

She was a girl who recovered remarkably fast. As we talked, the black sedan that had brought Baek Min-ah was already waiting in front of us. Watching the driver politely open the rear door, I turned toward the sidewalk.

“It’s fine.”

Suddenly, I really wanted to see the grandma who raised me.

“What is the meaning of this?”

“Can’t you tell by looking? I’m preparing for discharge.”

As soon as I arrived at the hospital, the nurse in charge looked troubled and informed me of Grandma’s discharge. At those words, I rushed to the room to Read on Read BL Novelsfind her already out of her stolen contentpatient gown, dressed in regular clothes and tidying up the bed.

“You could have at least told me in advance that you were being discharged.”

“If I had, you would have tried to stop me.”

“Of course, because I’m worried about you.”

“Worry is something you do when the other person wants it. You should know that I endured staying cooped up here for a week just for your sake.”

“Can’t you endure it for the sake of your own body, not because of me?”

“My body is perfectly fine. You just made a fuss over me vomiting a few times because my stomach was upset. I’ve already received permission from the doctor, so I’m going home.”

“Grandma.”

“Quiet. Anyway, minors have no say in this, so come back when you’re older. Then, even if you lock me in a nursing home, I won’t be able to budge.”

She really has to say it like that.

“Stop nagging and just give it one round. Anyway, how is this? I pre-ordered it from my regular shop two weeks ago.”

Grandma, wearing a suit more formal than usual, twirled around in front of me. I wondered why she was wearing an uncomfortable suit when she wasn’t feeling well, and another lecture almost slipped out, but then I saw the excited expression on her face as she waited for my answer. Seeing that face, I couldn’t bring myself to argue. I reluctantly replied primly.

“What do you mean? You look great.”

“Me? Or the clothes?”

“Didn’t you say that no matter how great the clothes are, it’s useless if the hanger is bad?”

“Of course. You should be grateful that you take after me. Do you think it’s easy to come into this world with a face like this?”

“…”

“Why are you looking at me like that? Am I wrong?”

“…No. Everything Grandma says is right.”

At my delayed response, Grandma gave a light chuckle as if I were bland and looked at me head-on. She scanned me from head to toe and wore a satisfied smile across her face.

“You also dressed well, just as I told you to.”

“It’s uncomfortable. Why did you tell me to dress like this if we’re just going home after discharge?”

“Because we’re not going straight home.”

Grandma tapped my shoulder as I stood there bewildered and led me out of the room.

“Let’s go. It’s been a while since we’ve had some proper dining.”

After completing the simple discharge procedures, I followed Grandma to a high-end restaurant specializing in French cuisine. It was a place that required a dress code for entry, so it was somewhere I only visited with her every year around Christmas. Since Christmas was still nearly two months away, this was an earlier visit than usual.

“Now I feel like I can breathe. If I had stayed in the hospital for one more day, I might have despaired over my beautiful life while being soaked in the smell of disinfectant.”

Savoring her wine while listening to the classical music playing stolen contentin the restaurant, Grandma looked the happiest I had [stolen content]seen her recently. Not wanting [visit our site]to nag her, I kept my mouth shut, and she held out the wine bottle.

“You drink too.”

“I’m a minor.”

“It’s fine when a guardian is present. It’s not your first time with wine.”

“I’ve never drunk it outside.”

“As long as you don’t get clingy, it’s fine.”

“That’s exactly why I’m saying this. I’ve never drunk until I was intoxicated.”

Since I became a high school student, Grandma occasionally taught me how to drink at home. We sometimes drank other alcohols, but mostly we drank the wine she preferred. Since it was also a drink said to be good for the heart, I just watched her drink quietly.

“If you take after me, your tolerance will be high, so you won’t even get drunk with just this much. What are you worried about? I don’t intend to give you much anyway. Take it quickly. My arm hurts.”

In the end, I lost to Grandma’s [Read on Read BL Novels]stubbornness. Wondering if [stolen content]I had ever actually won against her, I gave up and took the glass.

“How wonderful it is to learn this from your grandma. It’ll become a memory.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make plenty of these kinds of memories once I’m an adult. Let’s really go for it then, Ms. Park Bong-hee.”

“Hmph. Even then, twenty is still a baby to your grandma. You’ll have to be around thirty to actually hold a glass properly.”

“Then you just have to stay healthy until then. I want to drink with you even when you’re a hundred.”

“…”

Grandma stared at me for a moment.

“What?”

“I just thought you’re definitely worth the high price. Though my eye for quality played a part, of course.”

Now that I think about it, she wasn’t looking at me, but at the suit I was wearing. It was the coat and visit our sitesuit Grandma had bought me as a high school entrance gift. At the time, I had followed [unauthorized copy]her to the store without knowing any better and gasped at the price. Although we had assets and the money Grandma earned was quite ample, I had never spent such a large sum, so I had argued with her in the store for a while. In the end, it was Grandma’s victory.

“It’s not like the clothes make you look good just because they’re expensive.”

“Then, is it because the hanger is good?”

“To be precise, it’s because you take after Grandma, so you look good in anything. That’s why I told you to be grateful, right?”

As I recalled the words from the hospital room, Grandma burst into a pleasant laugh. At that sight, the corners of my mouth curled up slightly. Yes, my roots were none other than Grandma. I was her blood, and she was the one who raised me like this. So there was nothing to worry about. I was different from that human.