SMW 63

“Hmm?”

“I heard you’re good at tying ties.”

“Not really good, just…”

“You can just do it roughly.”

Did he see me tying Gyeong-ho’s earlier? I shifted my gaze to Choi Seol’s tie. His tie wasn’t just fine; it was perfectly shaped. Puzzled, I looked up at Choi Seol again.

“You want me to tie your tie?”

“Yeah.”

“But…”

“Ah, hold on.”

Right in front of my eyes, Choi Seol loosened and pulled down his tie.

“There. Happy?”

Happy about what?

I stared blankly at the loosened tie. What is this? Why go out of his way to undo a tie that was already perfectly tied? Is this some new kind of bullying, making someone tie a tie inside a cramped restroom?

Of course, I didn’t have the courage to ask him directly.

“Then, give it here. I’ll tie [Read on Read BL Novels]a knot so you can just Read on Read BL Novelsloop it around your neck.”

“Just do it.”

The hand I had tentatively reached out became awkward. As I hesitated, Choi Seol narrowed his eyes.

“Why. You don’t want to?”

“Huh? No, it’s not that.”

“Didn’t you tie that guy’s like this earlier?”

By ‘that guy,’ he must have meant Gyeong-ho. But why is he being so aggressive? From his voice to his expression, he seemed considerably dissatisfied. Memories of what happened at the creek suddenly surfaced, and my body stiffened instinctively. It was the same back then; the only reason I tied Gyeong-ho’s tie like that was because of him. I always felt like I became a sinner to Choi Seol because of Choi Seol himself.

“Alright. I’ll do it.”

I felt unfairly treated all over again, but instead of making excuses, I grasped the tie hanging to one side. To be honest, while the situation was flustering, visit our siteI was also excited. I had [stolen content]unexpectedly found an opportunity to tie the tie of the person I liked. Who knew I’d be this grateful to visit our siteGyeong-ho? I decided I wouldn’t scold him for a while, even if he asked me to tie his tie.

With a pounding heart, I held both ends of the tie and began to tie the knot. But that feeling was short-lived as reality slowly set in. Perhaps because I was nervous despite my excitement, I kept making mistakes—things that had gone smoothly when I did it for Gyeong-ho.

“Sorry, I got the direction mixed up…”

“Take your time. Slowly.”

An indifferent voice tickled my ear. It wasn’t a metaphor; we were so close that I could actually feel Choi Seol’s breath. Even accounting for the narrow stall, I felt we were too close, as my school blazer kept bunching up against Choi Seol’s coat.

Because of this, my posture while tying the tie was inevitably unnatural. Every time my raised arms brushed against the area of Choi Seol’s chest, I felt my body temperature rise by a degree.

I hope my face isn’t turning red. I needed to cool down quickly, but it felt like even the cold weather wouldn’t help right now. Moreover, the mistakes were doubling because of a certain someone who remained silent, staring at me the whole time.

Eventually, I decided to be the one to break the silence.

“Um, I got a call from the library.”

“…”

“I think the books need to be returned now. Could you possibly return them? Of course, I’ll return your books and bag too. I should have told you sooner, I’m a bit late. Sorry…”

“Won’t you want to keep reading them?”

The words I had been rambling on about stopped abruptly at Choi Seol’s question. My hands, which had been moving slowly, stopped as well. When I looked up, Choi Seol had an expression as inscrutable as his question.

“What… do you mean, want to read?”

“The books. You said they’re interesting no matter how many times you read them.”

“Ah, oh. That.”

I quickly lowered my head back toward the tie. I hadn’t even done anything visit our siteto get ahead of [unauthorized copy]myself, yet I felt inexplicably embarrassed. I was glad I had an excuse to hide behind. The knot was coming along better than I thought. I started moving my hands again.

“That’s true, but I need to know when to stop. I can’t keep thinking about them forever.”

Deep down, I had hoped that he might talk to me at least once because of the borrowed books. That’s why I had clung to them so stubbornly, but if I lived like this, I felt like I might just wither away and die from the heartache.

It was truly difficult. They say liking someone is like walking on a path of flowers, but I always felt like I was walking through hell. So, for the sake of survival, I had to cut it off.

Choi Seol didn’t give much of a response. Since he had no way of knowing my desperation, his reaction was one of no particular disappointment. Just then, the knot was finished. I lowered my hands and tried to take a step back.

“All done. You can adjust the length…”

“I couldn’t cut it off. I keep thinking about it.”

In a single step, my back hit the wall. As I looked up, my eyes met Choi Seol’s. I gulped once, and my lips parted.

“What?”

“I wonder, what could it be?”

What really was it? Unlike his calm voice, I couldn’t understand the sadness in those eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

It was a whisper so soft I wondered if I had imagined it.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. So I was a bit sensitive. So… I apologize for getting angry that day at the creek.”

Ah, he was talking about that day.

Since quite a bit of time had passed and I never expected to receive an apology, I couldn’t react immediately. Instead, my eyes stung. It was probably because I had been feeling sorrowful about it right up until Choi Seol arrived. I quickly looked down and shook my head.

“No. I was just being too nosy back then…”

“No, you did nothing wrong. I was the one who made a mistake. I let my guard down even though I knew what kind of people they were. It won’t happen again.”

Those people? Was he talking about the lawyer I met back then? But Choi Seol’s expression was too grim to ask. As if trying to suppress his anger, he brushed back his hair irritably, then sighed and spoke again.

“I lost the books.”

“What?”

“So, instead of returning those, return my own books to the library.”

Choi Seol opened the door and stepped outside.

“Then, I’ll go first.”

“W-wait a minute!”

Before Choi Seol could leave, I quickly grabbed onto his sleeve. I didn’t know where this courage came from, but I felt like I couldn’t let him go just like this. Fortunately, Choi Seol stopped and looked at me.

“I… have to give you your bag too.”

At my timid words, Choi Seol’s expression hardened. Was he angry that the only reason I stopped him was for this? Just as I began to loosen my grip on his sleeve with that thought…

“Tomorrow, nine in the morning.”

At the low voice, I snapped my gaze toward Choi Seol.

“Come to the creek. I’ll give it to you then.”

“Huh? Oh, okay. I got it.”

I nodded vigorously. Choi Seol, who was staring visit our siteintently at me, spoke again. Read on Read BL NovelsI looked at him, excited to see what else he might say, but a troubled sigh escaped lips that had hesitated several times.

“Could you let go of my clothes?”

“Huh? Ah…”

Only then did I realize I was still clutching Choi Seol’s sleeve. I let go in a start and took a step back.

“Sorry.”

“…I’ll go first.”

Repeating the same words as before, Choi Seol finally truly left. If he was going to the classroom, I could have gone with him. Even though I knew we’d attract the attention of the whole class, my regret outweighed the fear.

Still, I didn’t feel sad about the creek. On the contrary, my heart was racing. Even though it was a restroom that still smelled of cigarettes, at this moment, I felt like I was standing in a flower garden, not in hell.

I received an apology. We made a promise to meet.

Somehow, I felt like I could die of happiness.

Wasn’t October still autumn?

My body kept shivering from a cold that pierced right through to my bones. Come to think of it, I think my mom told me it was freezing right before I left.

With trembling hands, I held up my phone to check the weather. The current temperature was 2 degrees, and a cold wave warning icon was displayed next to the weather. Blinking my stinging eyes, I scrolled down to the news tab and saw several articles with the headline “First Cold Wave Warning of the Year” posted today. Apparently, ice had formed in Gangwon Province.

This is ridiculous.

I stared intently at the articles several times before looking up and surveying my surroundings. Although the colors had faded overall, it was still autumn, with colorful foliage dyeing the landscape. So why a cold wave? And why today of all days!

At that moment, as if to point out my foolishness, a fierce gust of wind swept over me. I hunched my body as much as possible and stomped my feet. It was cold. Now, even my teeth were chattering.

It was a mistake to dress lightly just to look stylish. I should have realized I was crazy when my mom asked if I’d lost [stolen content]my mind. Of course, visit our siteeven if I had, my clothes wouldn’t have changed. If I dressed thickly because it was cold, I’d look too clunky and unfashionable.

I had only ever been seen in my school uniform or those tacky green gym clothes at school, and this was the first time we were meeting in private clothes. I wanted to show him a cool side of myself if possible. But it was all futile.

Using the black phone screen as a mirror, I looked at my face and let out a sigh. I had spent nearly an hour blow-drying my hair, but after a few gusts of wind outside, it had become a mess. I tried to brush back my falling bangs with my fingers, but it seemed too late.

Then again, it wasn’t like we were on a date; it was just a meeting to exchange items. I suddenly felt pathetic for being so excited and dressing up.

I looked down at the large paper bag hanging heavily in my hand. Five books and Choi Seol’s bag were inside. Once I deliver this, will it really be the end? Since we’re in the same class, we’ll see each other’s faces often, but I felt like there would be no more opportunities to strike up a conversation.

No, Choi Seol even apologized yesterday, so maybe we could at least exchange greetings? If that happened, maybe we could have occasional conversations, and as for soccer lately… he doesn’t seem to be playing, but you never know, there might be a chance to play together next time.

After running through these hopeful scenarios for a moment, I stopped thinking. I wondered what the point of it all was. Even if exchanging greetings and talking became possible, I wouldn’t be able to achieve what I truly wanted.

I turned my gaze back to the large tree standing tall before me. It wasn’t a maple tree, so it hadn’t changed as drastically as its surroundings, but it felt as though its colors had faded compared to summer. The lush green leaves that had shielded me from the hot sun had mostly fallen, piling up thick beneath my feet.

Soon, the tree would be left with only bare branches. Read on Read BL NovelsThe heat that had persisted unauthorized copyfor so long had vanished in the blink of an eye. I thought my feelings would have faded by around this time, but I was still trying to hold on.

What should I really do now?

It wasn’t summer anymore; it was winter. I was truly weak against the cold.

“I don’t think I can endure this.”

“You’ll die if you try to endure this.”

An irritated voice overlapped with the monologue I had muttered while lost in sentiment. Before I could even be startled, I turned around to find Choi Seol standing right in front of me.

“Huh?”

Before I could even process his sudden appearance, I stood there with my mouth agape. That was because Choi Seol’s appearance was so…

“Are you going to school?”

At my somewhat foolish question, Choi Seol predictably furrowed his brows. They had been furrowed from the start, so it was just a couple more wrinkles added.

“I believe today is Sunday.”

“Then why are you wearing a school uniform?”

Unlike me, who had dressed up to look stylish, Choi Seol was wearing the long coat I’d seen at school, with his tie perfectly done.

“This isn’t a school uniform.”

Choi Seol unbuttoned a few buttons and took off the coat. Then, a sophisticated black suit, incomparable to a school uniform, was revealed. As I stared blankly at the mature atmosphere that made him look like a real businessman, the coat was thrown into my arms.

“Wear this.”

“Huh?”

“Why did you come out in such thin clothes on a day this cold? Didn’t you see the news?”

Suddenly, he was nagging. It felt unfair, but there was no way I could tell him I did it to look good for him.