SMW 28

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing since it allowed me to borrow a book from you.”

When I tried to brush it off with a joke, Choi Seol let out a small laugh.

“I should be grateful for that too. If it weren’t for the book, it would have been hard to get Han Yeo-reum’s help.”

“Hey. No matter what, I’m not the kind of person to ignore someone in need.”

“Even though you tried to ditch me at first?”

“Hey. Can we please just forget about that?”

Recalling how awkward things had been last night, I felt embarrassed all over again and sprang up from my seat. I wondered if distancing myself would help hide my flushing face, even if only a little.

Still, I felt it was better to clear the air.

“Sorry. I was just a bit confused back then. I didn’t expect to run into you in a place like that after ten years.”

“Ten years… Right. It really has been too long.”

As if only now realizing the weight of the forgotten years, Choi Seol let out a hollow laugh. He then stood up and met my eyes.

“So, you recognized me anyway?”

“Of course I did. How could I forget that handsome face of yours?”

How could I ever forget you? You were the one who first taught me the agony of carving someone into my heart, and yet, the joy that could come from it.

I was the same as you. Everything about the neighborhood where I was born and raised felt distant, like the lush greenery of a midsummer heatwave, but you alone were bright and vivid, like sunlight filtering through the leaves.

That is why it was love. And a first love at that.

That is how I have defined those feelings until now.

“That’s a relief. Then I guess it’s okay to say this?”

That was why I knew. I couldn’t help but notice.

“I like you.”

That you had been looking at me the same way.

“I like you, Han Yeo-reum.”

Swoosh. The rain began to fall.

The rain that was forecast for the afternoon arrived suddenly and without fail. In the blink of an eye, the rain lashed down on the leaves and the earth, creating a vibration that soon turned into a powerful crack. The sturdy wall I had kept tightly sealed in a corner of my heart was finally fracturing. My heart began to race, its beat intensifying unlike any other time.

Suddenly, I thought it was a blessing that it was raining. Because it could hide my face, which was beyond hot—it was burning—and the thumping of my heart echoing in my ears.

Yet, at the same time, I found myself longing for the midsummer heat. I felt that no matter how much it rained, this heat, this pounding, would not easily subside. I wanted to blame the scorching sun for my flushed face, claiming it was a misunderstanding, a delusion.

However, as if no excuse would work anymore, all my senses focused solely on Choi Seol. All I could do was stand there on two feet. Praying that this cruel seventeen-year-old first love would stop shaking me.

And so, the rain fell.

Just like that one summer day at seventeen, when everything first began.

Lately, I feel like my heart is broken.

I closed the book I had barely been reading for a minute and let out a deep sigh. The cover featuring a little wizard was making me restless. It was strange. The content was clearly interesting enough to get lost in, yet my heart kept fluttering, making it nearly impossible to concentrate. It was maddening because I felt like I knew the cause, yet I didn’t.

“Choi Seol!”

Even at a moment like this. I pressed down on my chest, which was racing so fast it felt like I was suffocating, and glanced to the side. A male student from the next class, who always hung around Choi Seol, was peeking into the classroom. Upon realizing the person he was looking for wasn’t there, he took out his phone, made a call, and disappeared back into the hallway. Was he calling Choi Seol?

Must be nice. To be in a relationship where a single phone call solves the desire to meet.

Thinking of my own situation, where all I could do was wait all day, I felt incredibly envious of the boy from the next class. I hadn’t even exchanged greetings with Choi Seol today. That alone made me plummet into a sudden depression.

This was another ailment I had developed recently. If I managed to exchange even a single word with Choi Seol, I felt like I was walking on air for the rest of the day, but on days when we didn’t even lock eyes, my mood sank miserably.

Why on earth am I like this?

I unconsciously pressed down on the edge of the book cover and then jumped back in surprise. Fortunately, it didn’t leave a mark. It had already been two weeks since I borrowed the book. Choi Seol told me I could take my time and return it whenever, but at this rate, I felt like I wouldn’t finish it even after a month.

At first, the desire to savor the story because it was so interesting was strong. Now, the reason was that I couldn’t concentrate at all. Since today was the last day of supplementary lessons, I wouldn’t have a reason to come to school for the next two weeks.

It would be autumn by the time school started again. The library book that Choi Seol took in exchange for lending me his would also need to be returned around then. So, it was only right that I return his eventually, but would it really be okay to give it back after school started? He hadn’t set a specific deadline, so he probably wouldn’t mind, but one could never be sure.

Should I ask him?

Yes, let’s ask.

I sprang up from my seat and hurried out into unauthorized copythe hallway. Choi Seol rarely stayed in his [Read on Read BL Novels]classroom during breaks. I had recently learned that he often used the rooftop.

Since the first-years used the third floor, the rooftop was only two floors up. Even though it was a bit of a hassle, seeing as he went consistently, he seemed to like it. Still, he usually returned in time for class, so if I lingered in the hallway, I would likely run into him.

But today, Choi Seol was nowhere to be seen, even though the bell for class was almost about to ring.

My hope of talking to Choi Seol vanished quickly. Just as I was about to head back into the classroom feeling crestfallen, someone tapped my shoulder. I turned around to find Hye-mi, a girl from my class, standing there with a smirk.

“What?”

“Yeo-reum, you were looking for Choi Seol just now, weren’t you?”

“…No, I wasn’t.”

Fortunately, my voice sounded calm. Though my heart was in a complete frenzy, as if it had betrayed me.

“Hmm, I think you were.”

“I wasn’t. Why would I be looking for that guy?”

“What do you mean why? Haven’t you been Choi Seol’s shuttle lately?”

I was genuinely appalled by such a bizarre claim.

“I have not!”

“Huh? You haven’t?”

“Of course not!”

Hye-mi’s eyes widened as if she were surprised. I asked her brusquely.

“Who on earth said that? Gyeong-ho?”

“Ah, not that jerk. It’s just obvious that Choi Seol has been talking to you a lot lately. And you greet him so shyly.”

“Shy…”

“Or maybe not? You always seem to tremble whenever you’re in front of Choi Seol.”

The words she used were getting worse by the second.

Over the past two weeks, while not frequent, I had successfully exchanged greetings whenever we locked eyes, and we had shared a few short conversations. It was true that talking to Choi Seol in a place with many eyes was still awkward and nerve-wracking, and I did shrink back whenever that happened, but I had never imagined it looked like that.

“Does Choi Seol know that too?”

“I wouldn’t know. But he probably does. There’s no way the person who saw you like that right in front of him wouldn’t know.”

I was doomed. I felt like leaping out of the planet right this second. But since I couldn’t, I felt like I should just slam my head against a desk. As I tried to enter the classroom, someone tugged at my sleeve.

“What?”

“Lend me the notes you took in English class earlier.”

“Park Hye-mi, did you sleep again?”

“But what can I do if I’m sleepy? I stayed up all night playing games yesterday.”

“Must be nice.”

I tried to go back into the classroom. Why should I be nice to someone who gave me shame instead of kind words? However, the binding power of a single tug on my sleeve was stronger than expected.

“Hey, come on, just lend them to me.”

“Ugh, fine, just stop pulling my clothes.”

“Really?”

“I’ll give them to you as soon as I go in.”

“Thank you. I knew I could count on our Yeo-reum.”

“Is that all I get? Just words?”

“Of course not. Snack bar bread, deal?”

After briefly recalling the bread selection at the snack bar in my head, I immediately shouted, “Deal!”

“Make sure you buy the chocolate bread.”

“Yes, sir! How could I possibly refuse?”

Seeing her actually salute, I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“Oh, our Yeo-reum. You’re actually quite a sight when you smile.”

“Shut up.”

“Sigh. If our Yeo-reum were even half as handsome as Choi Seol, I would have adored you more.”

“What is that? That sounds like something an old man would say.”

“What do you mean? I’m just saying it’s a shame.”

“Whatever. If it’s such a shame, stop hanging out with me and just keep staring at Choi Seol’s face.”

“What about my face?”

My foot, stepping forward in hopes of entering the classroom, was blocked at the door. As I slowly looked up at the large frame standing squarely in my path, my heart stopped at the sight of those sharp eyes.

“Uh… hi.”

At my awkward greeting, Choi Seol narrowed his brow.

“Han Yeo-reum.”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah. Why?”

I felt suddenly startled, causing me to stutter. Choi Seol, however, didn’t seem to mind. He took off his wristwatch and abruptly held it out to me. As I took it instinctively, a nonchalant request followed.

“I have to go play soccer, so hold onto this for a bit.”

“Soccer?”

“You didn’t know they’ve been gathering people for a while?”

Now that he mentioned it, I thought Gyeong-ho had mumbled something about soccer in front of me while I was having a staring contest with my book. Is he participating in that?

“But class is starting now?”

“This period is self-study.”

“Self-study?”

“You didn’t hear that either?”

I felt like I might have heard it. Come to think of it, quite a bit of time had passed since the bell rang, but there were hardly any students in the classroom, let alone a teacher. It seemed I had let many things slip by because I was preoccupied with only one thing all day.

“Where on earth do you leave your mind?”

As I stood there blankly, Choi Seol clicked his tongue in a tone like a teacher. Then, he lightly tapped my forehead with his finger and turned away.

“If you want to watch, come along.”

“Huh?”

“Actually, never mind. Don’t come.”

Choi Seol turned back and changed his mind.

“It’s hot out, so just stay in the classroom. That’s expensive, so keep it safe and read your book.”

And then, he really left. Throughout the entire conversation, all I had done was stand there blankly and accept the notifications Choi Seol spat out. That was all, yet I felt completely drained of all energy. My heart, as if it were too tired to move any further, was shaking every cell in my body with a dull ache.

“No way. Is that Choi Seol’s?”

When I looked back, the students in the hallway, including Park Hye-mi, were huddled together staring at me. More accurately, their eyes were sparkling, focused on the wristwatch in my hand.

“Can I hold onto that?”

“Me! Me, me, me! I’ll do it!”

“Hey, you lose your own stuff all the time. Yeo-reum, won’t you give it to me? I’ll hide it well and return it safely.”

It seemed my opinion didn’t matter in the first place. Frightened by the flashing madness of everyone reaching out visit our sitetheir hands, I quickly pulled the [Read on Read BL Novels]watch to my chest and took a step back.