72 – I am a Madman

Chapter 72: I Am a Madman

The year he turned eight.

The door opened.

“Teacher Xie, good morning. My father asked me to greet you. I hope you can share many stories with me.”

The voice carried the characteristic clumsiness of a child, even though it was obvious he was trying to be intentionally polite. The boy stood before the guest room door, which was engraved with a subtle pattern, and bowed to the young doctor sitting beside the desk.

The doctor turned his head and scanned him with a calm gaze.

“Come in and sit.”

And the year he turned ten.

The boy sprinted down a long corridor, clutching a special chemical experiment report.

“Teacher! Teacher!”

The door was flung open once again, pushed by the boy’s hand.

Xie Qingcheng, who had been standing by the window reading Songs to Nightingale, frowned at the boy’s booming voice. Under the shimmering natural light filtering through the bars, Xie Qingcheng spoke.

“How many times have I told you to knock before coming in?”

“This index is almost normal! My illness has gotten better!”

Beads of sweat formed on the boy’s face, unable to contain his excitement.

“Teacher, look at this. Quickly!”

“If you get this emotional, it will only worsen again.”

Xie Qingcheng closed the book of [stolen content]poetry. Maintaining a composed expression, he beckoned [Read on Read BL Novels]the boy with a flick of his hand.

“Come in. Let me see.”

And the year he turned fourteen.

On a day when the weather outside was overcast, the boy stood before the heavy guest room door for a long time before knocking.

The door opened again.

The boy noticed instantly that the room had grown cold. Xie Qingcheng had already packed all his belongings.

He knew exactly what answer awaited him.

And yet, like a patient who cannot let go of lingering attachments to life in the face of death, the boy asked:

“I heard from my mom… is it true?”

“…”

The empty wardrobe, the clean table, the suitcase placed in the corner of the wall. Every still-life object answered him in silence.

The boy looked at Xie Qingcheng. Then, while stubbornly clinging to his pride, he asked again with a desperate humility.

“Is that true?”

With a well-pressed coat draped over his arm, Xie Qingcheng sighed and spoke.

“Come in first. Let’s talk in the room.”

Finally, the year he turned fourteen.

Not long after Xie Qingcheng left, He Yu also prepared to leave the country. Just before departure, he went to the firmly closed guest room door. His hair was slightly disheveled, and his bangs fell over his eyes.

After swallowing a long, long silence with his head bowed, he raised his hand and knocked on Xie Qingcheng’s door.

Once, and then once more.

With a creak of wood, the door opened.

His heart sank. The boy stepped inside, brimming with anticipation. However, there was nothing in the room. It seemed the door had simply blown open in the wind.

The dark guest room felt like an empty grave, a frozen hallucination.

The only object proving that Xie Qingcheng had stayed there was the book World Rare Diseases that he had left for He Yu. He Yu blankly opened the book lying on the window desk. On the inside cover, light blue handwriting written with a fountain pen was embroidered. The letters were upright and rigid, as if projecting the image of a disciplined man.

[To He Yu.

Kid. Someday, you will break free from your inner trauma by your own strength.

I believe so.

Written by Xie Qingcheng.]

The boy touched the sharp handwriting with his fingertips. He wanted [Read on Read BL Novels]to unauthorized copytake even a shred of warmth from it. If he could do that, he felt he might be able to leave on stolen contentthis long journey and forget his existence.

After leaving the country, He Yu never once acknowledged his own inner self. By the banks of the Thames, on the sandy beaches of Sicily, during the foggy polar nights of Denmark, and on the brilliant summer days of Spain.

No matter where he fell asleep, he dreamed of returning to the old villa in Huzhou, dreaming of a corridor unfolding before him with a thick carpet.

At the end of it, there was a door carved with a subtle wave pattern.

In his dreams, he knocked on the door over and over. A powerless knock filled with despair. Then, when the midnight bell rang, the heavy door would open and rescue him.

Xie Qingcheng stood inside the room. Just as he had been when the young He Yu needed him, with a face that felt cold yet reliable. He was the best older brother and the strongest man in the world, a doctor he could not bear to let go of due to lingering attachment.

The man scanned him from top to bottom as if nothing had happened.

Then, with a slight tilt of his head, he threw out the same unchanging words.

“You’re here, kid. Come in and sit.”

But now, everything had changed. Lately, [visit our site]even when he opened the door in his dreams, there [Read on Read BL Novels]was no one in the room.

He could no longer return to the corridor of the world before he turned fourteen, nor could he open that door filled with light.

Suddenly, his heart throbbed as if it were tearing apart.

An immense pain woke He Yu from his sleep.

Coming to his senses, he found himself lying on the bed in his bedroom.

A bandage was wrapped around his forehead. The same was true for his wrists and ankles.

Inside the bedroom with the curtains drawn, news was flowing from an AI Bluetooth speaker.

“—The serial video murder case at Huzhou University that shocked the nation… has been revealed to be a revenge killing… Police found evidence of the purchase of hacking equipment among Lu Yuzhu’s belongings. Lu Yuzhu is one of the suspects in this case, having served as a local council member in Qingli County and known as the first highly educated woman to enter university in the local area. Based on the computer information security Lu Yuzhu majored in, the police side…”

The sound cut out intermittently, perhaps due to a weak Bluetooth signal.

“—Another suspect, Jiang Liping, is currently on the run… The two suspects are said to have stolen contenthad inappropriate relationships with unauthorized copythe victims… or… Qingkang psychiatric… inspired by the Jiang Lanpei murder case… creating an atmosphere with rumors that the ghost of Jiang Lanpei is helping with the revenge… The police side is not ruling out the possibility that the two suspects are more deeply involved in the Jiang Lanpei case…”

The speaker announced that Jiang Liping had fled.

As he lay in bed, his heartbeat gradually slowed.

The door in the dream is gone now.

Suddenly, He Yu remembered that he had fallen from the window.

He did not move. His entire body felt numb.

I’m still alive… While that thought occurred to him, he wasn’t particularly happy or surprised. He Yu blankly listened to the news broadcast flowing from the speaker. Follow-up reports on the case continued in succession. Various bizarre speculations ran rampant, as if they intended to drive up viewership with the grotesque murder case.

In the past, He Yu had a great interest in this case, but now, having just awakened from a coma, he felt numb even upon hearing the breaking news that Jiang Liping had fled.

It’s none of my business.

Everything in the world has nothing to do with me.

At that moment, a sound suddenly came from beside the bed.

“He Yu, are you awake?”

He Yu slowly turned his head. Only then did Lu Zishu, sitting beside him, enter his sight.

Having returned to Huzhou upon hearing the news, she had been sitting gloomily by the bed, and upon discovering that He Yu had opened his eyes, she hurriedly spoke.

“Earlier, you—.”

A few seconds of silence passed.

He Yu spoke with a voice thick from just waking up.

“I know what happened.”

After showing a slightly surprised Read on Read BL Novels[Read on Read BL Novels]expression at seeing the unexpected caregiver, He Yu quickly spoke bluntly.

“I told you to leave me alone. Why do you keep staying in Huzhou?”

The touching reunion of mother and son vanished into thin air. He Yu did not shed a single tear upon finding the mother who had stayed by his side.

Faced with He Yu, who began hurling harsh words the moment he regained consciousness, Lu Zishu froze stiff.

“This child… what is he saying to his mother right now?”

“What else should I say? Should I attach polite honorifics to every sentence? I’m not in the mood for that right now. You know I’m a psychopath, don’t you? Usually, I just pretend to be kind and polite, but this is my true self—can’t you stand to see it? Then go to Yenzhou where He is. Stop hovering in front of me.”

Hearing this, Lu Zishu’s anger flared up. Her large frame, clad in a black lace blouse, trembled with rage. The sight reminded one of a fat spider shaking its entire body.

“…Your mother knows that I ignored you in the past. I know… but still, this is too much…”

“I’d prefer it if you just continued to ignore me.”

He Yu’s gaze was like ice.

“I’m more used to that. You know what I mean, right?”

“…”

“Please leave.”

As Lu Zishu’s lips trembled, He Yu’s eyes flashed eerily.

“I said leave.”

She staggered and eventually left the room.

Descending to the living room downstairs, Lu Zishu encountered her husband, who had just returned to the mansion.

It was an unexpected situation for He Jiwei to be greeted by a wife who had burst into tears because of their son the moment he entered the front door.

It was very rare for Lu Zishu to show a weak side in front of her husband.

Sitting on the living room sofa, Lu Zishu pulled out a few tissues and wiped her tears alone, without even glancing at He Jiwei.

Watching this, He Jiwei asked.

“…Did you fight with He Yu?”

“He just woke up. Honey, I want to communicate well with He Yu. If it’s okay, I’m thinking of getting him another private physician. I see the child is taking too much medication lately. You know it’ll be a disaster if he develops a tolerance and the medicine stops working. He Yu’s mental illness isn’t at a level that can be controlled with chemical treatment.”

Lu Zishu sniffled and glared only at the edge of the table. It was a gaze filled with resentment, as if that edge were her sworn enemy.

“I’m doing this with good intentions. I’m worried about He Yu too. How could a biological mother want to harm her own child?”

“…”

“But that child rejects me. He showed so much hostility toward me.”

Lu Zishu pulled out a few more tissues [unauthorized copy]and blew her nose loudly. She looked quite [stolen content]different from when she was young.

“So honey, you try talking to him.”

Tears streamed down Lu Zishu’s eyes.

“I’m truly heartbroken… You know how much I sacrificed to protect that child. He doesn’t even know that I changed like this because of him… How heartbroken must I be that he treats his mother this way? Truly, I’m so heartbroken.”

Burying her face in her small, plump palms, she muttered.

“I’m a mother too…”

In truth, the family relationships of the He household were very subtle and grotesquely twisted. It was not an atmosphere commonly felt in an ordinary home.

He Jiwei looked at Lu Zishu for a moment and spoke with a sunken expression.

“I’ll go up and talk to him.”

As soon as he finished speaking, He Jiwei headed toward He Yu’s bedroom upstairs.

It was a rare meeting between father and son. Since the son was bedridden, it would have been perfect if the scene of a father weeping with red eyes had played out. However—.

Soon after, a large palm struck He Yu’s cheek. He Jiwei was different from Lu Zishu. Despite being such a solemn and moral person normally, he could not contain his anger and raised his hand. Then, a fierce voice rang out.

“He Yu, do you want to die?”

Despite taking the slap full-force, He Yu’s expression did not change. He turned his head back to its original position after being pushed by the force. A drop of blood formed at the corner of his lip.

With blood pooling at the corner of his mouth, He Yu smiled.

“Wow, Dad came too? I don’t think the situation is serious enough for both of you to attend my funeral side by side.”

“What kind of way is that to speak!”

“Why are you stepping back?”

“…”

He Yu’s gaze fixed on He Jiwei’s shoes. When the boy gave a gloomy smile, He Jiwei’s foot stepped back one pace.

He Yu twitched his hands and feet slightly and then shifted his gaze to the ceiling.

A hollow laugh clung to the end of his words.

“Nothing to be afraid of. You’ve tied me up so firmly, after all.”

Various restraints were attached to He Yu’s bed. The couple had hidden He Yu’s symptoms from the whole world, but they could not pretend not to know themselves. This was because, although He Yu had never openly and cruelly harmed people or animals, almost every doctor had evaluated his condition as being similar to that of a psychopathic killer.

He Jiwei tapped his own cheek and barely managed to speak.

“Isn’t this all for your own sake?”

Squirming within the restraints, He Yu laughed.

“I’m truly grateful.”

“…Why didn’t you say anything until your condition worsened to this extent?”

“I’m a psychopath anyway.”

He Yu replied indifferently.

“Why bother saying anything?”

“He Yu, at this rate, you might be forcibly isolated in a psychiatric hospital.”

He Jiwei lowered his voice with a complicated look in his eyes.

“Do you want to lose your freedom? Do you want to be caged like an animal? The reason your mother and I hid your symptoms all this time was so that you could be as normal as possible—.”

“It was probably because you wanted the He family to run as normally as possible and prosper for a long time.”

Looking at the ceiling, He Yu laughed hollowly.

He Jiwei lost his words, like a man whose vocal cords had been cut.

“Because you wouldn’t have wanted to be the subject of people’s gossip behind your back. ‘The eldest son of the He family, who was well-behaved and had good grades, turns out to be a psychopath,’ ‘They hid it so well for so long,’ ‘To think the family was this rotten,’ ‘Running a pharmaceutical company but unable to cure their own child’s illness,’ and so on and so forth.”

As he spoke, He Yu turned his head. Even with his hands and feet tied, a chilling aura emanated from his calmly smiling face.

“I’m right, aren’t I, Dad?”

He Jiwei’s face turned ashen. Amidst his anger, guilt toward He Yu was leaking through.

However, He Yu’s unfocused eyes saw nothing.

“If you knew I was abnormal as soon as I was born, you should have just strangled me to death. Why did you bother keeping me alive? You two spent your whole lives anxious, and I lived my whole life like a corpse. It’s just miserable for everyone; what’s the point?”

“He Yu…”

“Go. Seeing Dad makes me feel so awkward that I unauthorized copythink I’ll go even crazier. If I [Read on Read BL Novels]go Read on Read BL Novelsopenly crazy, I’ll probably bring shame to both your faces.”

He Jiwei wanted to comfort He Yu somehow. However, the number of times he had faced his eldest son’s face was pitifully few. Being a man accustomed to giving orders with high status and authority, firmness was easy, but tenderness was only difficult.

“…”

He Yu, not wanting to see He Jiwei, turned his head to the opposite side of the bed.

A terrifying silence flowed through the bedroom.

Every second passed. He Jiwei agonized inwardly, rolling a cigarette between his fingers. He had made up his mind to have a sincere conversation with He Yu, but sitting in this unfamiliar room, he felt lost as to where to begin.

He pondered in silence.

Then, finally, he let out a deep sigh and spoke.

“He Yu. Actually, there are other circumstances I didn’t tell you before. You were too young back then. Since you weren’t even an adult, I was afraid that revealing the truth would make you suffer more psychologically. And your mother. Those inner workings are a very painful wound for her. So, he probably didn’t have the confidence to reveal the truth and provoke you. But… lately, I feel it’s time to tell you.”

He Jiwei added one more thing.

“If you know the truth, you won’t have to be so self-destructive, and perhaps… you might be able to understand your mother a little.”

“If that’s the kind of understanding, I’ve had enough—.”

He Yu suddenly tried to sit up in bed.

“Listen to me until the end,” He Jiwei said.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve talked alone like this. Just this once, I hope you’ll have the patience to listen to me until the end. Whether it’s dissatisfaction or anger, you can vent as much as you want, so I ask this of you.”

“…”

“In some ways, I know well that I forced a great sacrifice upon my son.”

After a long silence, He Yu lay back on the pillow and covered his eyes with his arm. He felt that if he didn’t look at He Jiwei, he might be able to regain some rationality.

“Speak,” He Yu answered coldly at last.

“I’ll listen.”