25 – I Kissed Him

Chapter 25: I Kissed Him

“Xie Qingcheng… what are you trying to do?”

As a doctor, and as an adult, normal logic dictated that this was the moment to offer the other person appropriate comfort.

But Xie Qingcheng did not do that.

Despite having his arm gripped by a large hand, he stubbornly kept his head lowered, blocking He Yu’s field of vision.

“He Yu, let me get one thing straight: my patience isn’t that deep. And standing in front of a guy who’s abused drugs and self-harmed, my already nonexistent patience has completely run out from trying to have a rational conversation. Don’t look at me with those infuriating eyes when you can’t even tell right from wrong. Close your eyes and calm down for a moment. Stop letting your head overheat with stray thoughts.”

“…….”

Xie Qingcheng subdued He Yu with an overwhelming [stolen content]grip. It wasn’t exactly unauthorized copycomforting words, visit our sitebut it felt as if some powerful force flowed from that hand into He Yu’s heart.

Slowly, He Yu’s struggling ceased. Even while staying still, his head spun. With his eyes blocked, he remained pinned to the spot, unable to move.

After a moment, he blinked. His eyelashes fluttered against Xie Qingcheng’s palm.

Seeing He Yu calm down slightly, Xie Qingcheng was about to relax when he suddenly realized something. He thought scars only remained on the wrists, but a small bruise had spread across the side of the cheek as well.

It was truly absurd.

“What happened to your face? …Did you self-harm on your face while filming too?”

“……I fell on a slope while filming.”

“Do you actually expect me to believe that?”

“……Believe it or don’t. Get out.”

He Yu snapped again. Irritation surged, and his consciousness began to fracture once more.

The young man’s thin lips, positioned beneath Xie Qingcheng’s palm, trembled. He seemed to be struggling to maintain his sanity.

“I said get out.”

Watching this scene, Xie Qingcheng felt a genuine surge of anger.

“I’ll say this one last time. He Yu. You might think I don’t understand you or empathize with you. But do you know what? When you’re sick, the right thing is to get treatment. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. If something hurts, you find someone who can treat it; if your chest feels tight, you take your medicine on time. And if the medicine tastes bitter, you frown and eat a piece of candy. No one is going to scold you for indulging in that much sweetness. You don’t have to endure it by force. And you absolutely must not do things that harm yourself.”

“…….”

“You’re only nineteen, He Yu. This might sound offensive, but honestly, you’re just a kid who isn’t even of legal marriage age. You can cry as much as you want about being in pain, and you can throw a tantrum for candy. No doctor laughs at a patient who is afraid of bitterness and pain. The massive crisis you went through at Qingkang Psychiatric Hospital is over now. You survived against all odds, so you should be happy. What on earth happened to make you this upset?”

He Yu remained silent, leaning against the wall. His chest rose and fell slowly.

Xie Qingcheng watched quietly as his breathing gradually steadied and his nasal breaths grew shallow. Because his eyes were covered, he couldn’t tell what kind of look he wore, but he could feel that He Yu had become much calmer than when he was struggling.

After hesitating for a moment, Xie Qingcheng raised his other hand. Then, he brushed away the stray hairs clinging to He Yu’s forehead, damp with sweat.

At that, He Yu flinched back slightly.

At the same time, a distinct sensation reached his palm.

Xie Qingcheng froze. It was the sensation of his palm becoming damp.

He wasn’t sure. He didn’t dare be certain. If it were just reddened eyes, that would be one thing, but he had never seen He Yu actually shed tears. He couldn’t pull his hand away. He even wondered if he was imagining it.

Unaware that his final words had pushed the already intoxicated He Yu deep into a vast, boundless ocean.

And He Yu thought of Xie Xue.

Xie Xue had said something similar.

In their childhood. She had tilted her head and asked the boy—who appeared polite on the surface but was actually cold—a question.

-Hey, are you feeling bad?

-…….

-My brother knows your father, so he came to your house to help him with work. We’ll be seeing each other often from now on.

The girl said this as she pulled the boy’s hand.

-When you’re feeling down, try asking my brother for chocolate. It might be hard if you can’t eat sweets because of cavities, but my brother won’t laugh at you or refuse you. I ask him for chocolate every day. Look! I got one this morning!

Pulling a piece of milk chocolate from the pocket of Read on Read BL Novelsher floral skirt, the girl beamed with a wide smile and pressed visit our sitethe sweet, soft chocolate into the boy’s cold palm.

-I’ll give it to you. You have a big house, but you don’t have the chocolate my brother gives.

-…….

-My name is Xie Xue. You’re He Yu, right? Since you ate my chocolate, we’re friends now.

-…….

-You have to be happy from now on. If you feel bad, play with me. I’m really fun. I’ll stay by your side all day…….

To children who are easily satisfied, a single short day is a very long time, much like the lifetime adults speak of.

That is why children cherish a day, while adults speak lightly of a lifetime.

In his hazy drunken state, He Yu mistook today for an afternoon ten years ago.

He and Xie Xue still had a long day ahead of them.

Letting out a sigh, He Yu suddenly applied force to his grip. Holding Xie Qingcheng’s bony wrist, he decisively pulled down the hand covering his eyes.

Light poured into the young man’s dark pupils. Perhaps because of the sudden brightness, his focus was slightly blurred.

For a moment, he couldn’t distinguish who the person in front of him was.

Silence lingered for a while.

At such a close distance, Xie Qingcheng could clearly see his own reflection in He Yu’s eyes.

“Those words…….”

Finally, He Yu began to speak in a low voice.

He Yu’s gaze pierced through. Perhaps because his vision was blurred, the focus didn’t quite align.

“You said that before, too.”

Xie Qingcheng frowned. He felt a strange, peculiar sensation. Warm breath mixed with the smell of alcohol drifted faintly, almost touching his skin.

He didn’t know that He Yu was recalling the first meeting between himself and Xie Xue. He didn’t know that He Yu, not being in his right mind, had confused him for someone else. He simply thought He Yu’s words were completely out of the blue.

“If I’m truly feeling bad, how long will you stay by my side?”

“…….”

“Until when?”

Xie Qingcheng snapped back to his senses.

“What kind of nonsense are you talking about now…….”

“I’m asking you.”

“…….”

“Answer me.”

Something about his tone was unusual. A gaze reminiscent of a wolf—something Xie Qingcheng had never seen before—stared at him. It was the atmosphere of a male beast looking at a female who had decided to leave him. It was a side of He Yu that had never been shown before Xie Qingcheng.

Xie Qingcheng instinctively felt goosebumps on the back of his neck. Even he, who was decisive and strong-willed, momentarily felt as if he were sitting on a bed of needles.

“You’re drunk, He Yu. Get up first.”

Perhaps the catalyst was the strong alcohol he had poured [unauthorized copy]down. He [unauthorized copy]Yu’s consciousness [stolen content]grew more fragmented. While answering “yes,” he kept his hold on Xie Qingcheng and rested his cheek on his other hand, staring into his eyes. His gaze grew increasingly unfocused.

“Liar. Who do you take me for, an idiot?”

“…….”

Exposed to He Yu’s gaze, Xie Qingcheng felt his body stiffening. The primitive genes deep within him sensed danger and sounded an alarm.

The current He Yu was in a state where communication was impossible.

When He Yu’s episodes began, he became closed off like a remote island. He would only say what he wanted to say and reject anyone trying to peer into his inner thoughts.

And this wasn’t He Yu’s house. There were no restraints, nor were there specially formulated sedative injections.

In truth, being alone with He Yu like this was dangerous.

Since he had taken strong medication anyway, Read on Read BL Novelshe would soon fall into a deep sleep. It visit our sitevisit our sitewould be better to talk again tomorrow morning once He Yu regained his senses.

So, Xie Qingcheng decided to leave at this point.

“Enough. Go to sleep first tonight—”

Perhaps the problem was that he realized the fact a bit too late. The hand He Yu used to hold his own was resolute.

He Yu stared down into his eyes.

The part where Xie Qingcheng and Xie Xue resembled each other most was their eyes.

They had the same peach blossom eyes, but the atmosphere was different. While Xie Xue’s warm eyes always radiated curiosity and passion for life, Xie Qingcheng’s cold eyes—despite being a shape everyone preferred—boasted a sharp and ruthless atmosphere, suppressed by his personality.

Normally, these were eyes he could never have confused.

However, He Yu was currently intoxicated by Read on Read BL Novelsboth depression visit our siteand alcohol. Even the hotel lighting was dim, making the Read on Read BL Novelsother person’s eyes appear flickering and faint.

After staring for a long time, the line between reality and imagination became blurred.

“Right, so you’re determined to leave after all?”

“What on earth are you doing?”

The young man asked in return instead of answering.

“I’m asking. Are you going to leave?”

Xie Qingcheng pushed his hand away with all his might.

“What the hell are you doing?”

He Yu lowered his head and scoffed. Now that he had lost control, the pathological Read on Read BL Novelsand Read on Read BL Novelsvicious energy etched into stolen contenthis bones radiated fully from his handsome face.

Seeing the faint smile playing on those lips, Xie Qingcheng suddenly felt a chill.

He stood up abruptly, intending to leave. But before he could take a single step, his wrist was violently grabbed by the young man again.

The moment he tried to grasp the situation, he was pulled forward by the young man’s characteristic strength. Gripping Xie Qingcheng’s wrist with one hand and wrapping the other around his waist, He Yu slammed him down onto the bar table by the window with brutal force.

As the back of his head hit the hard table with a thud, a low groan escaped him. His vision swam.

“He Yu—!”

It was understandable that Xie Qingcheng’s reaction was slow. The attack had been so violent and swift that the opponent couldn’t react. To use a metaphor, it was as if an evil dragon, which had been sleeping in its nest while ignoring the interference of intruders, had finally run out of patience, spread its massive wings, collapsed the cave walls with terrifying claws, and pinned the sacrifice who had intruded into its domain onto the altar amidst the falling rubble.

Next would be the turn to tear into the carotid artery beneath the skin of the neck.

Of course, with Xie Qingcheng’s strength, it was a restraint he could have easily escaped. The problem was that Xie Qingcheng was too honest [Read on Read BL Novels]a person. Thinking that the symptom of craving [Read on Read BL Novels]blood had reappeared, he didn’t [stolen content]even think to suspect He Yu and missed his last window of escape.

While struggling and stumbling, he tripped over the cord of the desk lamp. The lamp fell onto the thick carpet, and the surroundings grew dark. Even as he fell over the cord, He Yu pressed Xie Qingcheng hard into the center of the table.

The smell of alcohol vibrated within the rough breathing.

Because it was a dark night, he had to discern the outlines of the surroundings using only the city lights outside the window. He Yu’s steady gaze traced the all-too-familiar peach blossom eyes.

In the deep night, everything blurred due to intoxication. He Yu looked down at the eyes visible right before him. A rough crack began to form in his heart.

He lowered his head deeply. The resentful and painful emotions and the empty one-sided love he had suppressed for so long burst through the heavy sedimentary rock in an instant. Soon, those emotions became sadness, trembling eyelashes, the hand shackling Xie Qingcheng’s wrist, and hot tears falling down.

He Yu did not know where those tears fell.

At the same time, Xie Qingcheng’s struggling stopped.

It was because he felt something warm falling on his chest.

“He Yu, you…….”

Before he could even finish the sentence. The young man, who had been sobbing with his head dropped over his chest, suddenly wrapped his hand around the nape of his neck, closed his eyes, and lowered his head. Soon, lukewarm lips enveloped cold, chilled lips.

Xie Qingcheng’s eyes widened as if he had been struck by a bolt from the blue. Time stopped, and his mind went blank.

His consciousness froze in confusion. He couldn’t even think of pushing He Yu away. The breath of He Yu kissing him was hot. It was an intense, hot, urgent, and pitiful kiss, the likes of which he had never felt in his life.

Of course, it wasn’t that Xie Qingcheng lacked experience with kissing. He had even slept with Li Ruoqiu. Of course, while kissing, Xie Qingcheng had acted coldly and Li Ruoqiu had acted stiffly. The two were closer to actors performing a role. No hot sparks existed between them.

Such a man had now become the target of a kiss, pinned down by the body of a vigorous young man. A hot breath, like that of an adolescent boy, surged against his cheek. Unlike an adult, the kiss of a young man who had just become a college student lacked technique, but it was terrifyingly hot. As their lips locked deeply, Xie Qingcheng instinctively struggled. Of course, He Yu showed no mercy.

“Mmph—!”

A straight line of youthful desire was not something that could be suppressed [unauthorized copy]at will. If not helped, it might wither [visit our site]and die helplessly. But as long as the opponent could not escape, that heat would be relentless enough to melt them.

Xie Qingcheng’s neural pathways snapped in an instant.

He wondered if he had truly gone mad. Is this really reality? Or am I having a nightmare? At that moment, tears fell from the corners of He Yu’s eyes again. Only after the tears that fell on his cheek flowed toward his temple did Xie Qingcheng feel a repulsion toward this immoral act and begin to resist fiercely. However, there was no way He Yu, who mistook him for Xie Xue, would let him go. He Yu gripped Xie Qingcheng’s neck, where the pulse was thumping, pulled his head back for a moment, and then continued the kiss.

Although Xie Qingcheng’s physical strength was second to none, he had been severely shaken by the sudden situation. Taking advantage of this gap, He Yu gained the upper hand and dragged him to the bed, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“He Yu…… He Yu! You brat, get a hold of yourself……? Fuck…….”

For Xie Qingcheng, a hetero macho old-schooler, this incident was practically a landmine. He could feel He Yu’s hand gripping his waist over the thin hotel gown he had thrown on while leaving the room. The palm was so hot it was impossible to ignore.

Xie Qingcheng felt as if his scalp were paralyzed. Even though he resisted with the body of an adult male reaching 180cm, it was useless. He Yu was younger and had a sturdier build. Contrary to his pretty face with red lips and neat teeth, his abs were clearly defined when he took off his clothes. The power he exerted with such a body was formidable.

Having lost the upper hand from the start, it was difficult to escape even after regaining his senses. Moreover, this kiss was He Yu’s first.

To a nineteen-year-old kid who knew nothing of the world, and a Read on Read BL Novelsyoung man with no visit our sitesexual Read on Read BL Novelsexperience, what concept would a first kiss be?

It was no different from a beast finding meat during a famine.

Even though his consciousness was blurred by alcohol and the episode, the comfort and thrill were felt vividly. He Yu roughly pulled Xie Qingcheng’s hair to prevent him from escaping. Xie Qingcheng, with his hair being pulled, felt as if he were dying of pain. Perhaps out of anger, his eyes even turned red.

The young man, having tasted the savory meat, did not let go of his prey. Unable to stand Xie Qingcheng’s fierce struggling, he let go of the hair and instead throttled his neck with all his might.

Xie Qingcheng lifted his leg and kicked He Yu hard. Even while in pain, He Yu used this recoil to instantly pin down the man who stubbornly refused the bed.

“He Yu—!”

Xie Qingcheng’s vision spun. His body, thrown onto the soft spring mattress, was pinned down by He Yu’s hot body, putting all his weight into it.

He felt as if his chest had tightened. Xie Qingcheng’s pupils contracted from the immense shock.

On He Yu’s bed, several sets of high school uniforms he had changed into at the filming site [stolen content]over the past few days were lying around. They were clothes stained with the smell of sweat, not yet washed. Beside the pillow, [unauthorized copy]a half-read reference book was visible. Lying on a bed that smelled strongly of a student, he even had the illusion that he was being ravished by a high school boy.

Right now, He Yu truly saw nothing else. With his consciousness completely held captive by desire, he simply watched as Xie Qingcheng’s strength slowly drained away while silently choking his neck.

After a short while, Xie Qingcheng’s face turned red as he was deprived of air. At that moment, He Yu’s gaze changed terrifyingly. He looked as if he were about to gouge out Xie Qingcheng’s peach blossom eyes alive.

But in the next moment, he suddenly wore a helpless and desperate expression. Lost in thought, he slowly released Xie Qingcheng’s neck.

Finally, air poured into his lungs. Xie Qingcheng gasped for breath and coughed frantically.

“……I’m sorry…….”

Perhaps having regained some sanity, He Yu apologized to Xie Qingcheng with a fragmented gaze. Though, in reality, those words were meant for ‘Xie Xue.’

“I’m sorry……. I didn’t mean to hurt you…… I didn’t intend to……. I just…….”

Hesitating, he lowered his head and slowly closed his eyes. The bridge of his straight Read on Read BL Novelsnose brushed down Read on Read BL Novelsagainst the stolen contentside of Xie Qingcheng’s neck. He pressed his lips against the neck where his own handprints remained, kissing him as if pecking.

Hot lips fluttered over his carotid artery.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you…….”

Xie Qingcheng was so enraged that his entire body trembled. He felt as if the blood vessels in his brain were about to collapse. He thought He Yu, who had been kissing his neck, was pulling away to look at him, but instead, he poured out another hot, resolute kiss. Like someone lost in ecstasy, he took the other’s lips into his own, gripping Xie Qingcheng’s black hair with his large hand and forcing a rough, violent kiss.

This time, he even tried to wedge his tongue between the teeth to entwine them.

Having run out of patience, Xie Qingcheng bit He Yu’s lip hard. The metallic scent of blood spread instantly. Barely managing to turn his head away to avoid the young man’s hot breath, Xie Qingcheng unleashed a string of curses.

“Is this bastard crazy? Get off me right now……! If you’re going to act out because you’re wasted and out of your mind, then get lost!”

As he tried to push He Yu’s chest away, He Yu interlaced his fingers with his.

Xie Qingcheng’s scalp tingled, and goosebumps broke out all over his body. [Read on Read BL Novels]He almost threw [stolen content]He Yu with a shoulder toss.

It was then that He Yu shed tears for the third time.

A teardrop fell right before his eyes.

Then, He Yu’s fingers reached out. His fingertips brushed against Xie Qingcheng’s reddish eyes.

Just as Xie Qingcheng was about to curse him out again, a low sigh sounded from above. Looking at Xie Qingcheng’s face with hazy eyes, He Yu curled his fingers to touch his cheek.

“Xie…….”

A very faint sound was added to the end of the trailing word.

Because of that, Xie Qingcheng only heard the single syllable ‘Xie’ and missed the ‘-cheng’ that followed.

“…….”

He Yu, leaning his body completely over, pinned Xie Qingcheng down with his broad shoulders, turned his head to the side, and whispered against his neck.

“I like you……. I truly like you…….”