50 – I Am Not Who I Was Yesterday

Episode 50: I Am Not Who I Was Yesterday

“How did you know I was here?”

He Yu poured wine into his own glass and Xie Qingcheng’s, then gestured with his chin to the server standing nearby to hand it over.

Of course, Xie Qingcheng rejected the gesture.

He Yu then interlaced his fingers and simply watched him.

After a brief silence, he spoke.

“Mr. Xie. If you truly want to have a proper conversation with me, wouldn’t it be better to accept the glass?”

Standing in place, Xie Qingcheng suppressed his [unauthorized copy]unauthorized copycomplicated emotions [Read on Read BL Novels]and looked down at He Yu, struggling to maintain his composure.

“He Yu, let’s just go back.”

“I don’t want to hear that. Since when did you become such a grand existence, Teacher?”

He Yu smiled thinly. The beautiful server standing beside him lit another cigarette and handed it to him. For some reason, He Yu accepted it readily.

His almond-shaped eyes stared intently at Xie Qingcheng. He Yu parted his lips slightly to grip the filter, took a deep drag, and exhaled the smoke with an air of elegant leisure.

The pale blue smoke scattered into the air.

He Yu knew how to smoke. He used to do it occasionally during meetings to fit in with others. Of course, he didn’t personally enjoy it, so he had never smoked in private.

To think that someone who hated cigarettes could smoke with such a relaxed and familiar posture. Xie Qingcheng only discovered this fact today.

“Give one to the teacher as well.”

Following He Yu’s words, the server lit another cigarette and held it out before Xie Qingcheng’s eyes.

Xie Qingcheng could only shake his head.

“I don’t smoke.”

He Yu burst into laughter and rested his forehead on the hand holding the cigarette.

“My god… Mr. Xie, you really are such a hypocrite. I wonder why I didn’t realize it until now.”

“There are plenty of other things you don’t know. For now, let’s go back together. If there’s something you’re curious about, ask. I’ll answer everything I know.”

At Xie Qingcheng’s words, He Yu, who had been leaning back, languidly straightened his upper body. Resting his elbows on the back of the sofa, he sighed and nodded.

“That’s true. There is a lot I don’t know.”

His puppy-like eyes looked up. However, the gaze itself was as cold as a wolf’s.

“For example… why you suddenly quit the hospital. Why you suddenly avoided me as if I were a wild beast…”

He Yu trailed off. He had found out about the chat logs between Xie Xue and Xie Qingcheng, and even the secrets regarding the contract period, but he didn’t want to let Xie Qingcheng know that.

This much was enough for now. There was no need to bring in other facts and inflate his own stupidity.

“Xie Qingcheng—”

Staring at the man with cold, upturned eyes, He Yu spoke through clenched teeth.

“Back then, I didn’t know anything.”

At those words, Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes tightly.

“…Is that why you came to a brothel like this and fell into depravity?”

“…”

The employees of the “brothel,” utterly appalled, lost their words simultaneously.

He Yu’s smile became even more distinct. His sharp canines, rarely seen normally, were revealed eerily. This subtle change made his soft face look suddenly gloomy.

“Mr. Xie. I’m sorry, but this is a club managed honestly without gambling or drugs. Receiving high-end service from beautiful employees isn’t a crime. Wouldn’t it be weirder to order a hundred-thousand-yuan bottle of wine and receive service from ugly employees?”

He Yu continued.

“And Xie Qingcheng. Why do you keep thinking of yourself as such a great person?”

“…”

“Who do you think you are? Where would I go that I’d actually care about your opinion?”

Behind the smile that had suddenly vanished, only a single dark cloud remained.

“Mr. Xie. I know people get arrogant as they get older. Besides, you’re a skilled professor, so you’re popular with your students. It’s only natural you’d be narcissistic and think you’re the best wherever you go. I understand that middle-aged people have this bad habit, but let me make one thing clear. I’m doing this simply because I want to.”

He Yu took a puff of the cigarette, flicked the ash into the ashtray, and then used his other hand to pull a cushion against the back of the sofa to lean on.

“It has nothing to do with you, Teacher.”

Only then did Xie Qingcheng notice He Yu’s bloodshot eyes and abnormally parched lips. He looked much worse than he had during his last few severe seizures. For a moment, Xie Qingcheng’s heart sank. He instinctively reached out to touch He Yu’s forehead.

He Yu suffered from high fevers whenever he had a seizure. Knowing He Yu’s symptoms better than anyone, Xie Qingcheng moved his hand out of habit.

However, He Yu quickly snatched Xie Qingcheng’s wrist.

The touch seemed infinitely light, but the fingers gripping him exerted a formidable strength.

“Excuse me, if you have something to say, say it with words. Don’t touch me recklessly.”

He Yu stared at Xie Qingcheng from behind the wrist he held.

“We aren’t exactly close enough for you to touch me however you like, are we?”

As these words were spoken, Xie Qingcheng felt the strength in his hand vanish. Consequently, his gaze sank into darkness.

The two remained in a state of pause for a moment. When He Yu released his grip, Xie Qingcheng let his hand drop.

“…He Yu, whether you believe it or not is up to you, but…”

After swallowing a long silence, Xie Qingcheng turned stolen contenthis head aside to [Read on Read BL Novels]avoid He Yu’s gloomy gaze and continued.

“What I said back then… it wasn’t directed at you. I wasn’t targeting you.”

“What words?”

He Yu tilted his head, pretending not to know, and spoke with a smirk.

“Ah. That dying for a patient is meaningless. That being murdered by a psychopath is ridiculously unfair? —It’s not exactly wrong, so why are you trying so hard to explain?”

He Yu looked around the room and added indifferently.

“It’s not like there’s a psychopathic mentally ill person among us. Those kinds of people should be put in straitjackets in prison, given electric shocks, injected with drugs, or if all else fails, have specific nerves in the brain cut out with a scalpel, right? How could such crazy people walk around the outside world breathing fresh air? Don’t you agree?”

Xie Qingcheng remained silent. It was because there were too many eyes in the room. Only a very few people knew the secret that He Yu suffered from a mental illness. It was difficult to bring up this topic in front of so many watching eyes.

After the silence, Xie Qingcheng looked up with his peach blossom eyes and spoke.

“First, I’d like these people to leave.”

“Why?”

“There’s something I want to discuss with you alone.”

He Yu laughed at that.

“Is that necessary?”

“…”

“Mr. Xie, go give your lectures somewhere else. There are so many students waiting eagerly for your wonderful teachings; I don’t know why you’re so intent on teaching me. I’m not some special person, am I? Neither are you. Let’s just leave it as it is. I don’t want to make our relationship any more complicated.”

“…”

“If you have nothing more to do, please leave.”

If it had been the usual Xie Qingcheng, he would have sternly reprimanded and pushed He Yu for disobeying his orders.

But now, wasn’t he already a sinner in debt just for coming to find He Yu?

With nothing to say even if he had ten mouths, Xie Qingcheng finally spoke helplessly.

“…How are you going to go home? Your parents wouldn’t want to see you like this either.”

At the mention of He Jiwei and Lu Zishu, He Yu’s mood soured even further.

He glared at Xie Qingcheng’s face.

So he recites a long list of nags and ends it by bringing up my parents.

He Yu recalled the messages Xie Qingcheng had exchanged with He Jiwei. The content and tone were far more sincere than when he spoke with He Yu. Perhaps to Xie Qingcheng, only He Jiwei was an equal.

And on the day Xie Qingcheng notified him that he was quitting. He Yu had cast aside all his pride and desperately tried to hold the man back with pocket money.

Because he felt that if Xie Qingcheng left and Xie Xue disappeared, he would fall back into a terrible loneliness.

Back then, He Yu had said to Xie Qingcheng: I get a lot of pocket money. So…

And with what words had he been cut off?

Xie Qingcheng had explained a grand set of principles to him. First, that his employer was He Jiwei, so He Yu didn’t have the ability to employ him. That he didn’t need the money, so he should save it to buy a cake.

He Yu should have realized then that in Xie Qingcheng’s eyes, he was merely He Jiwei’s son, and that if it weren’t for his father, Xie Qingcheng wouldn’t have even looked at him.

This thought drove He Yu’s gloomy heart toward a more violent impulse.

Of course, his expression remained bland.

He studied Xie Qingcheng silently. He Jiwei, the control tower, Xie Xue, the sincerity he had never obtained… Thinking of these things only made him resent Xie Qingcheng more.

If it were up to him, he’d like to tear that man apart.

Thinking so, He Yu scanned Xie Qingcheng up and down. Simultaneously, he slowly emptied his glass and poured more wine into the empty vessel.

Suddenly looking down, he noticed the full glass in front of Xie Qingcheng.

With a churning stomach, He Yu sneered.

“You’re really too much, Teacher. Who comes to apologize and then threatens them with their parents? I poured you a drink and you haven’t even touched it. Are you saving it to raise fish?”

He grabbed the pre-poured wine indiscriminately and filled another glass to the brim.

“Sit down. Since you’ve come all this way, be my drinking buddy. Let’s drink first and then talk.”

“…”

“You don’t not drink alcohol on top of not smoking, do you?”

Xie Qingcheng also knew well that today he had to step down from the dominant position.

With He Yu acting like this, he couldn’t ruin the atmosphere with nagging. Xie Qingcheng had no choice but to sit on the sofa opposite He Yu.

“If I drink with you, will you go home?”

“I wonder. I wonder if Mr. Xie would sacrifice his precious time to hang out with trash like me.”

The room was deathly silent. Because of the air flowing between [unauthorized copy]the two, no one unauthorized copycould even breathe comfortably.

In this chilling silence, Xie Qingcheng reached out, cutting through the air that felt like the calm before a storm. He picked up the wine glass on the marble table and moved it in front of him.

Beyond the wine swaying in the dim light, Xie Qingcheng’s eyes shone as cold as a glacier.

He emptied the glass of dry wine in one go. Then, he picked up another glass He Yu had freshly poured and drank it without blinking.

The strong alcohol slid down his throat.

Only then did He Yu put on a smiling face.

“Good. Your tolerance is quite impressive, Hyung.”

He tilted his head slightly and stared at Xie Qingcheng, while speaking to the server beside him.

“Keep his glass filled.”

“…”

The lead server’s complexion turned ashen.

Having given He Yu a warning, she thought the man would not drink that potent liquor. The amount he had already consumed would be hard enough to handle; to see him fill the glass to the brim and hand it over—what on earth was happening?

“I was slightly moved by your attitude, Teacher,” He Yu said in a calm voice.

“So I’ll give you one more chance. In return, you must show proper sincerity.”

The first glass was a mistake.

But he would make sure Xie Qingcheng willingly drank the second.

“I’m not asking for much, so just have a few more glasses. If you drink until I’m visit our sitesatisfied, I’ll go back with you. …Well, I’m not forcing you, but if you’re truly [unauthorized copy]worried about me, you’d do at least this much, wouldn’t you?”

He Yu added one more thing, his eyes upturned.

“Will you be alright?”

Xie Qingcheng gazed at him in silence before picking up the glass He Yu offered.

“If you promise to go back, I’ll drink as much as you want.”

He Yu watched quietly as Xie Qingcheng’s Adam’s apple bobbed beneath his tilted head. Along with the alcohol, a surge of hatred billowed up within him.

…Yes, drink it. Every single drop.

That is the only way you can pay for your karma.

Karma.

He Yu pondered the word repeatedly.

Xie Qingcheng’s hideous desires. He wanted to see every bit of him clinging and begging pathetically before a woman.

That would be true karma.

If one is to lose their dignity, it should be to this extent.

The employees standing guard in the room didn’t dare breathe out of turn.

Young Master He was undoubtedly determined to screw this man over. To pour 59-degree plum-scented liquor into a large wine glass—looking at the situation, he intended to make the man drink the entire bottle.

Two employees standing at the very back whispered to each other, pulling at the hems of their miniskirts with tense expressions.

“What do we do?”

“What do you mean, what do we do? Just stand here.”

“What if something happens? Last time, some girl almost died after sleeping with a CEO who drank too much of that stuff. If Young Master He tells us to handle that man later…”

“Hey, it’s fine. We’ll just refuse. We’re here to serve drinks, right? Personal matters outside of work only happen if both parties agree. Even Young Master He can’t force this.”

“But still…”

Their voices grew louder. When the leader standing at the front glared back as a warning, the two employees quickly shut their mouths and bowed their heads. Of course, their hearts continued to race uncontrollably with anxiety.

And so, the third glass was emptied.

Xie Qingcheng’s face grew flushed, and even his gaze became blurred. Yet, he failed to realize there was something wrong with the alcohol and kept staring only at the young man before him.

He raised a hand to his forehead and spoke in a voice laced with intoxication.

“…He Yu, this is enough. Let’s just stop here and go home.”

He Yu’s returning voice was affectionate, unlike when he had first met Xie Qingcheng.

He Yu filled the empty glass to the brim, pushed it toward Xie Qingcheng, and spoke seductively.

“Yes, I’ll go back. For the sake of my teacher’s prestige, I’ll do as you say. Now, Hyung, have one more. If you drink this, the bottle will be empty. It would be a waste to leave any.”

Thin bloodshot veins appeared in Xie Qingcheng’s eyes as he leaned back on the sofa. His peach blossom eyes glistened with intoxication, and his cheeks were red. Despite this, his formal attire, with the shirt buttons meticulously fastened, remained intact. There was no sign of him being broken.

Soon, he drank the fourth glass.

Even after nearly finishing the bottle, Xie Qingcheng exerted a terrifying amount of self-control, never once glancing at the beautiful employees standing around him.

Had he lived pretending to be noble for so long that he’d actually become half a saint?

“…”

He Yu swallowed his silence.

Amidst his displeasure, a sense of urgency surged.

Xie Qingcheng had lived as a bachelor for too long. It seemed he needed a slightly stronger stimulus.

Thinking so, He Yu looked up and glanced sideways at the two employees standing next to Xie Qingcheng.

Perhaps it was telepathy. One of the employees quickly smiled and picked up a glass, while the other circled behind the sofa and sat softly beside Xie Qingcheng, leaning her body against him.

“Oppa…”

“Since Young Master He calls you Hyung, we can call you Oppa, right?”

The employee gently tilted her head and breathed into Xie Qingcheng’s ear. A manicured hand tapped lightly on Xie Qingcheng’s broad chest, her fingertips resting against the ascetic buttons of his shirt.

Many men’s shirts were designed so that others could easily undo the buttons.

Facing Xie Qingcheng’s masculine, handsome face, the employee’s lips parted with a flutter of excitement amidst her provocation.

“Qingcheng Oppa, let me pour you one more…”

At that moment, a sharp clack echoed.

The employee’s body flinched.

It was because Xie Qingcheng had gripped her slender wrist.

Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes slowly and then opened them. Surprisingly, he shoved the employee away with a gaze stolen contentstolen contentthat regained a sliver of reason.

“Move.”

“…”

“Move while I’m asking nicely.”

The employee, flustered and turning red and blue in the face, turned her head with a troubled expression to gauge Young Master He’s reaction.

The look in He Yu’s eyes as he watched was nothing short of murderous.

Leaning back on the sofa, He Yu had one arm draped over the backrest and held a glass in the other hand. In that posture, with his slender legs crossed, he simply stared intently at the man sitting opposite him.

His gaze was infinitely cold. Now that the plan had failed, the desire to act polite and pretend had vanished from his face.

Frost flowed through his ice-cold eyes.

“You…”

Xie Qingcheng’s head began to throb as if it were splitting open. His body was enveloped in a terrifying heat.

“When exactly are you going to leave…”

At those words, He Yu let out a small sigh.

“You said you’d drink as much as I wanted, and now you’re pestering me about when I’m leaving. Qingcheng Hyung, why are you so heartless?”

A brief silence followed. Soon, a dangerous smile spread across He Yu’s lips.

“Hmm. I want to go too, but do you think you can actually walk in that state?”

“…”

Xie Qingcheng slowly lifted his gaze, his eyelids burning a deep red.

Only now did he sense something was wrong. The potent alcohol was surging through his limbs and crashing into his very bones. Short, ragged breaths escaped him. It felt as if an alcohol allergy was flaring up throughout his entire body. His usually pale skin was now reddish, like rouge frozen in a midwinter chill. It felt as if the red liquor had seeped into his marrow.

“You, this drink…”

“It is a bit expensive,” He Yu interrupted kindly. “But it’s a high-quality drink to match.”

“…He Yu…!”

“You were so kind to me, so I had to treat you to this. Don’t you agree?”

Xie Qingcheng bolted upright. He simply could not accept the reality that He Yu had done this. The sparks of anger he had suppressed for so long spread within him. In one motion, he swept the glasses off the table. Glasses and bottles shattered noisily, decorating the floor.

He reached across the table and grabbed He Yu by the collar.

“Fuck, are you crazy? How dare you… He Yu… how dare you do this to me…”

“Do what?”

Xie Qingcheng’s voice trembled with surging rage. Guilt was no longer the issue. Having been blindsided by a psychopath, he felt as if his mind was snapping.

“How dare you drug me?”