48 – Losing One’s Mind

Episode 48: Losing One’s Mind

It hurt too much.

A contract built on lies. The truth hidden from Xie Xue. The deception orchestrated by Xie Qingcheng. A parting that felt like a desperate flight, never once looking back…

The past nineteen years felt like a dream. He thought he had fooled countless people with his brilliant acting, but in reality, He Yu was merely a madman who had fallen for the most miserable trick of all.

He clutched his head and screamed. It was a sound closer to a beast caught in a trap and drenched in blood than a human. His voice grew hoarse and cracked, and his eyes were a mixture of madness and vacancy. He curled up in the corner like someone shivering from an intense cold.

What kind of creed is that?

It was all a lie.

What kind of warmth was that?

It was all an illusion.

He was a psychopath, a delusional patient. He was a fool—ugly, ridiculous, stupid, and absurd—a moron who didn’t even realize he was exposing his scars to the world.

In this moment, he looked as pitiful as a fetus dying in its mother’s stolen contentwomb. [Read on Read BL Novels]Severed from the outside world, even the umbilical cord had been cut, leaving him unable to breathe. No matter how he screamed in the suffocating water, he could not reach those living on the shore.

That was why he had to hug himself tightly. Because all the warmth had come from his own body.

Because all the comfort had been something he gave to himself.

He Yu remained frozen for a long time, gripping his hair. His vision grew increasingly red, and his heart grew dark. Eventually, even the screaming stopped. He sat still, his body slumped, head tilted back to stare at the ceiling.

Then, he stood up.

His pathetic reflection was mirrored in the glass door of the display cabinet.

It was a terrifyingly unfamiliar sight.

Soon after, a thunderous crash echoed.

The darkness and cruel instincts he had suppressed deep within his bones erupted in an instant. He Yu grabbed a metal ornament nearby and smashed the cabinet.

The shackles binding the evil dragon had finally broken. The demon hidden inside emerged from its cave, flapping its wings and roaring, raining down hatred. Completely losing his mind, He Yu screamed and destroyed nearly everything in the house. The scent of blood wafted from his reopened wounds, but he didn’t care at all.

He tore the curtains, smashed the TV, and turned everything into ruins.

Since his heart had died, [Read on Read BL Novels]he felt he had unauthorized copyto perform a ritual, even if it [visit our site]meant sacrificing something.

The outburst, bordering on insanity, continued for a long time. Despite the villa’s excellent soundproofing, the downstairs neighbor, whose patience had run out due to the constant noise, finally rushed up and pounded on He Yu’s front door. He Yu opened the door violently. In his blood-stained hand, he held a steel pipe ripped from a window rail, and the living room behind him was a complete disaster. He stared intently at the neighbor with bloodshot eyes.

“What is it?”

The terrified neighbor’s legs gave out, but he was only able to stand upright because He Yu had grabbed him by the collar.

The thick scent of blood stung the nostrils. He Yu’s blood stained the neighbor’s expensive silk gown.

He Yu asked again, menacingly.

“I asked what it is.”

“No, no! It’s nothing!”

Who could have known that opening the door would reveal such a bloody scene? The pale, pretty young man looked as lethal as a neurotic male character in a drama. Having lost all courage, the neighbor’s cheeks trembled as he quickly clasped his hands and bowed subserviently.

“Sir, sir! Please do whatever you like. Do it as much as you need until you feel better!”

He Yu pushed him away and slammed the door shut.

The neighbor practically crawled back to the elevator to escape, and stolen contentbefore he even reached his own [Read on Read BL Novels]front door, he wailed while shaking violently.

“Honey— honey, save me…”

Thanks to the neighbor’s interruption, the venting of his rage had been cut short.

He Yu gasped for air and half-turned around. The house in his sight no longer looked like a place where a human lived.

Unless it was a battlefield.

Surveying the living room with red eyes, He Yu decided there was nothing left to break and tossed the steel pipe aside. Then, with a pale face, he walked through the ruins toward the bathroom.

He looked at his face reflected in the broken mirror.

His face, fragmented by the cracks, looked just like the personality he had presented to society.

He Yu caught his breath for a moment. His breathing calmed, and his trembling lips gradually grew still.

The sadness and madness passed, and in this moment, only composure remained. His mind was terrifyingly calm.

Now that he had completely ruined the house with a violent outburst, what should he do next?

Since things had come to this, he had to go outside. It didn’t matter whether he was sane or insane. He wanted to [visit our site]reveal his abnormal [unauthorized copy]self to the world. He wanted to spread his hideously withered wings, emerge from the dark cave, and howl at the people who were so-called “normal.”

The young man in the mirror slowly lifted his gaze. A blood-streaked hand slowly caressed his cheek, then gripped his chin and turned his head to the side.

An elegant but cold smile, different from before, played upon his lips.

* * *

Meanwhile, Xie Qingcheng, who was back at the Huzhou Medical University dormitory, felt a strange sense of anxiety that made his eyelids twitch.

Once the meal was over, Chen Man cleared the table and prepared to leave.

Before departing, Chen Man spoke.

“Hyung, I’ll come back tomorrow evening. Also…”

“What?”

“Don’t look at the internet for a while. It’s really infuriating.”

He spoke in a quiet voice.

Xie Qingcheng knew he was referring to the control tower Read on Read BL Novelsvideo incident. Of course, this was an unnecessary worry on Chen Man’s part. Xie Qingcheng [Read on Read BL Novels]had never had the slightest interest in web surfing. His reality was chaotic enough; why would he care about the internet?

After telling Chen Man he understood and sending him off, Xie Qingcheng left the dormitory to buy another pack of cigarettes and called Xie Xue while smoking.

Xie Xue’s physical condition was still not great, but she seemed to be at peace thanks to Aunt Li’s care. While he was in the middle of talking to Xie Xue, another call suddenly came through. Xie Qingcheng gave Xie Xue a few instructions and hung up.

The other caller was none other than Zheng Jingfeng.

“Hello, Uncle Zheng.”

—Xiao Xie. One of my team members said they just saw that kid who went to the archives with you.

Xie Qingcheng’s heart sank.

“Has he been discharged?”

Zheng Jingfeng gave a vague “uh-huh” response. It seemed the purpose of the call was something else.

—Yeah, that’s right. How old is that kid? Eighteen? Nineteen? I can’t remember…

“…Why are you asking that?”

—Do you think I’m [Read on Read BL Novels]asking because I want to? You’re [Read on Read BL Novels]the one who told me to let you know if anything happened.

The knuckles of Xie Qingcheng’s gripping fingers turned white.

“Did something happen to He Yu?”

—It’s nothing major, but ha. I’ve realized once again that there’s a world of difference between your bourgeois class and our proletarian class. Damn. When I was nineteen, I was training in the unit from morning until late at night. That kid of yours, he’s been discharged, but it seems he’s still not feeling great. I heard he drove an expensive car to the Twilight Club just now… Seriously, our police station’s group chat is plastered with talk about him. They said he drove a sports car like a rocket and they barely caught him in front of the club. He cooperated to some extent, but they said his attitude was incredibly rude. He got out of the car, slammed the door, and told them to get lost with his car. He said it’s too much trouble to find a designated driver later anyway.

“…”

—You know the Twilight Club, right? That place is truly filthy. They pretend to follow the rules, but all sorts of things roll around secretly behind the scenes…

Xie Qingcheng took a deep breath. He Yu’s kind and mature face flickered before his eyes. That face, whether it was a facade or sincere, had eventually turned away from him coldly in front of the control tower, cheeks stained with blood.

“I understand.”

Xie Qingcheng pressed his hand to his forehead and leaned against the window, speaking into the phone.

“Thank you for letting me know, Uncle Zheng.”

—Right. Now, listen to me. Don’t get too caught up in your parents’ case, and you should calm your emotions and get some fresh air. It’s hard for me to watch you like this.

“…I will.”

After hanging up, Xie Qingcheng put on his coat and headed toward the Twilight Club.

He suddenly remembered the young He Yu who had stood before the villa’s sofa, holding onto his pride. At that time, He Yu had looked at him with a gaze that was sorrowful and stubborn, yet trying to appear indifferent, as if he were reluctant to part.

—Xie Qingcheng, I get a lot of pocket money. So—.

I can hire a teacher.

I don’t want to sink into the vortex. Teacher, please save me… Please save me, okay?

He had ignored the plea for salvation that He Yu hadn’t been able to voice until now. He Yu had protected his final shred of pride in front of Xie Qingcheng, but at the same time, he had missed his last chance to ask for help.

That year, Xie Qingcheng left He Yu.

But He Yu did not truly resent him.

Even in a moment when he desperately needed help, this child had entered the tiger’s den with him and almost lost his life.

While reaching out his hand to him, He Yu had said that Xie Qingcheng had once done the same for him.

However, the reason Xie Qingcheng stolen contenthad reached out to He Yu was that he was a doctor. It was visit our siteall visit our siteprofessional. He had simply fulfilled his occupational duty.

Yet, for what reason had this child done it?

Xie Qingcheng closed his eyes.

Zheng Jingfeng’s words seemed to linger in his ears. Throwing money around at a club, a rough attitude…

Xie Qingcheng knew well that He Yu had never been like this before.

Because he wanted to be recognized, because he wanted to blend back into society while mindful of others’ gazes, and with the sole determination to overcome his illness, He Yu had not succumbed to his desires. He had not drunk the poisoned wine offered by the demon Mephistopheles. He had not fallen, nor had he easily knelt. He lived diligently, pursuing perfection several times more than the average person. Because he feared the disappointment of others.

Even as a patient, He Yu strove not to be abandoned, not to be dismissed like the three patients who had died before him.

He was always longing for a helping hand with all his might.

That was why he fretted internally, worrying about what would happen if he made a mistake or if others would be disappointed by his shortcomings.

In the end, he was abandoned anyway.

—Teacher. You’re really… when I look at you, you’re so cold. Even though you’re not a patient, you seem to have fewer emotions than I do.

A satire that suppressed emotion. A satire filled with sighs and pleas. stolen contentEven knowing those emotions, Xie Qingcheng had let the Read on Read BL Novelsboy’s pitiful sobbing go in one ear and out the other.

Yes, he admitted it.

In some ways, it was true that he had forsaken He Yu.

He was a child who had trusted him implicitly. Although he had only done what he had to do as a doctor, to He Yu, that must have felt like the most precious sincerity and equality.

Therefore, he had no excuse even if He Yu cursed him. It was because he, the heartless one, was the problem. Because he had done something terrible to He Yu.

Inside the Twilight Club.

“Oh my, Young Master He. Such a precious guest has come all this way…”

The club manager was a very shrewd and clever middle-aged man. From his well-pressed suit to his pale face, everything was polished, and his personality was as slippery as a rat soaked in oil.

The manager had also been standing by when He Yu was talking to the traffic police earlier. Although He Yu wasn’t a regular, he was part of the chaebol social circle, and he had entertained his parents’ business clients here before.

Of course, He Yu never stayed at the club for long. He would usually converse politely with clients, and when the atmosphere became too loud, he would go downstairs, sign the bill, leave his card with the manager, and depart.

But today was different.

The manager’s eyes burned like torches. Young Master He was alone today without any companions. Furthermore, the Huzhou University [visit our site]incident Read on Read BL Novelshad already turned all of Huzhou upside down. How much psychological stress must He Yu, one of the main protagonists of the incident, have suffered? The manager thought this sudden behavior from He Yu was perfectly normal.

Perhaps this young man had decided not to let life drift by boringly after being shot. So, like other young masters of his age, he must have come here to find the true meaning of life.

In the manager’s eyes, He Yu was a walking Black Card. Wagging an invisible tail, the manager quickly welcomed He Yu. He looked as if he would unhesitatingly book a morning flight and call He Yu’s mother via international phone to come back to the country if Young Master He demanded his mother be brought here.

“Young Master He, which floor will you be going to tonight? I will prepare the finest service immediately…”

Before leaving, He Yu had roughly treated the reopened gunshot wound. Over it, he wore a simple black turtleneck and jeans. He even wore a ball cap that gave off a strong student vibe, but the two eyes beneath the brim looked as gloomy as an adult worn down by society.

As he lifted his head, the brilliant gold lights of the club stained the surface of his pitch-black pupils.

“The penthouse floor.”

“…”

The penthouse floor, consisting only of private rooms, offered excellent privacy. It was a place where only clever employees personally trained by the club representative were stationed, making it very suitable for secret business meetings or carrying out certain activities.

Of course, the price was gold-standard accordingly.

To go to the penthouse dressed like this. The manager thought Young Master He was truly something. What would have happened if he had met another employee instead of himself today? If it had been an oblivious subordinate, they might have mistaken the precious young master for an ordinary student and kicked him out.

On the other hand, he felt lucky to unauthorized copyhave avoided the stolen contentfallout. Judging by his unusual appearance today, it felt like he might suffer a disaster if he accidentally offended him.

“Lead the way,” He Yu said indifferently, hands shoved into his jeans pockets.

The manager quickly bowed his waist and smiled brightly.

“Yes, yes. Right this way, shall we?”