By Zephyria 
It felt as if someone had glued my feet to the floor with adhesive. Looking back at Ruben felt more terrifying than anything else. I forgot to even blink. I could barely make out the sounds of sobbing and squirming over my shoulder.
This is absurd.
How many times had I seen injured people? I was someone who would grip a sword with their left arm if their right was gone, and leap and charge on one leg if they lost a limb. How different was I now from the person I was then, to be acting like this?
Gritting my teeth, I took a step sideways to look back at Ruben.
Then, a kaleidoscope of five-colored light swirled before my eyes. The power that had clung to my back like a vengeful spirit stretched out with a great yawn, showing off its might.
I was originally capable of using seven senses. The common five senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, plus the ability to sense, discern, and wield mana and murderous intent.
But I was now realizing that there were senses beyond those. Thanks to a swordplay technique summoned by desperation, which had dragged me up a level and tossed me aside, I now understood that the streams of blue mana I had been seeing were not connected, but separate, individual existences.
Maelo Sanson had often spoken of this.
He said he didn’t need a separate Dantian because he drew directly from the natural energy.
Indeed, it was true. I was seeing the world through my master’s eyes. Now, I could distinguish between the blue and red energies filling the empty space and even manipulate them. With a mere flick of my fingertip, boundless power swayed greatly, as if waiting for my command.
I finally understood the nature of the mana that had been lurking and circling around me.
That energy had been mine since time immemorial.
If the thing embedded in my lower abdomen is my inner Dantian, should I call the newly acquired one an outer Dantian? No, that’s not it. This is a power entirely different from the ways of the Central Plains. Energetic auras, unmixed with any internal energy, swept through my body and pooled in my limbs.
So this is the realm of Hwagyeong, the Grand Sword Master.
But I felt no joy.
The complacency born of familiarity, and the arrogance born of that complacency, had clouded my vision for far too long. I had lived my life believing I grew stronger by defeating stronger enemies, by overcoming greater foes. No. That wasn’t it. I now know that using the power I already possess at the right time and place is far more important.
The late realization made me feel profoundly sad.
I wish I had known sooner.
I felt pathetic, unable to steady my wavering heart even while knowing that a wondrous energy was circling me. What a scatterbrained fool I am. I should have pushed myself harder. If I had known how to use this energy beforehand, the child wouldn’t have been hurt.
If only I had done so before Ruben got hurt, before the child collapsed… Just one day, even just one day sooner…
“…Haa…! Krrk… Hak, ugh…!”
Ruben’s groans burst out sporadically from behind me.
No one had told me that enlightenment could be so painful and agonizing. I blamed others, then the world, then myself again. I was confused, not knowing how to quell the discontent and boiling anger within me.
After swallowing a deep breath, I finally, very slowly, turned around.
The blood soaking the deep gray carpet flooded my vision like a red wave.
It was a strict rule not to move a patient from the site of a severe injury. Even with Medical Artifacts, major wounds required a certain amount of recovery time.
Samantha Andrei had laid Ruben down neatly, straightening his arms and legs. Ruben, in his unnaturally straight posture, looked like a corpse wrapped for embalming.
Ruben’s lips, constantly exhaling ragged breaths, were tinged purple. His cheeks, usually transparent and fair, which I found lovely, were now slick with sweat and blood.
Ruben’s body, which had been trembling in a supine position, suddenly jolted. Cough, and blood sprayed out with his cough. Samantha gently pressed his chest, helping him lie flat on the floor.
“Hhng…”
The child’s fingertips scraped the floor. Veins stood out prominently on his thick, manly neck.
I wished he would scream instead.
If he were in pain, I could hold him, comfort him, and soothe him if he cried and clung to me. Why was he trying so hard to hide his groans?
Though my heart yearned to pull Ruben into my arms and hide him, my feet refused to move. Despite feeling so full of energy, my feet felt strangely heavy.
As I forced myself to take a step forward.
“Lord Ernhardt!”
A firm voice blocked my path.
I stopped dead.
Was Samantha Andrei capable of such a stern voice? The voice, like frost, faintly brushed against my muffled ears. Right now, only Ruben was clear to me. I kept my gaze fixed on the child, waiting for her next words.
She spoke with a voice tinged with a faint sigh, but commanded again, resolutely.
“Lord Ernhardt. The Healing Magic has not fully settled. Please sort out the aura first.”
“…Ah.”
Haa, only then did I gasp for breath.
Only then did I realize I had been holding my breath for a long time. Hearing that I had to do that to go to Ruben’s side, I finally thought about breathing. Why was it so difficult to swallow and exhale a single breath?
I clenched the energy swirling within my distended Dantian, gathering it tightly.
My body had never ached this much, not even when it felt like it would burst. It felt as if someone had punched a large hole in my chest. In the cool shrine, where not a breath of wind stirred, the scent of blood, stronger than that of books, seemed to crush my ribs.
If not for that…
Just then, Ruben’s head tilted towards me, as if about to fall. Samantha Andrei, with a calm hand, moved aside some books that were blocking Ruben’s view, allowing his gaze to fall fully on me.
Ruben’s sclera were red, stained with blood. I wondered if he could see anything with eyes like that. The child, blinking a couple of times, parted his trembling lips. Mmm, ah. After swallowing several times inwardly, he whispered. His pronunciation, more slurred than usual, was deeply upsetting.
“…See, Mika. I’m okay.”
“…”
I gritted my teeth, overcome with emotion. Samantha, watching beside me, joked in my stead.
“Now His Highness has truly become a knight. Knights, by nature, walk the line between life and death.”
“…Yes… Hoo, I feel like I’ve been reborn. The world… is worth living in.”
“Yes. Congratulations.”
Ruben laughed aloud. The child’s face, slick with sweat, blurred for some unknown reason. The bloodstains on his cheeks and chin glistened like blooming flowers.
The child called me again.
“Mika.”
This time, I didn’t hesitate. I strode forward and pulled Ruben into my arms, holding him as tightly as I could. Then, the child wrapped his arms around my waist and clung to me. Ruben’s broad hand tapped my back, tap, tap.
He was the one injured, yet why was he trying to comfort me?
My throat tightened, and no words could escape my lips. Instead of words, a choked, wet sound flowed from my chest.
At first, I thought Ruben was crying. No. That wasn’t it. It was me who was crying. What a pathetic sight. My vision kept blurring, making it difficult to see Ruben clearly. I wiped the tears streaming down my cheeks with the back of my hand. My cheeks felt rough from being rubbed so hard with hands covered in stone dust.
“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. I, I shouldn’t have let go of that chain.”
“Mika.”
“No, my energy woke the statue. If I had been a little more careful…”
“Mikaa.”
“…”
I closed my mouth.
Ruben could not yet move his limbs properly. Seeing his hand twitch and curl, I took his wrist and placed it on my cheek. Ruben, still with a smile, managed to move his thumb and stroke my cheek. As if trying to wipe away my tears.
And in a voice he tried to keep calm, occasionally swallowing rough groans, he whispered. His voice, like a whisper, was sweet.
“I told you to try infusing the statue with energy. It’s not your fault, Mika.”
“…”
“In the end, you were the one who destroyed him and saved me.”
Benjamin, from behind, tried to say something like, “His Highness, Lord Andrei…”, but stopped when Samantha intervened. I felt so embarrassed that my face flushed hot. The child, who had been stroking my warm cheek, coughed and gave an embarrassed laugh.
“…You and Lord Andrei… saved me.”
“…”
“What I want to say now, Mika…”
Ruben paused for a long time. I was prepared to tear my chest open and offer it to him if he had asked for it.
Would he ask me to kiss him here? I felt like I could do that too. If he told me to take responsibility for him for life because he was hurt, then of course I…
But the words that came from Ruben’s mouth were entirely different.
“So… what did that guy say at the end?”
“…Huh?”
“He said, ‘Prove it.’ What else did he say? I was too frantic to hear the rest, but I thought it might be a pretty significant hint…”
….
My tears stopped flowing.
My mind snapped awake as if I’d been doused with cold water. Ruben, completely unaware of my inner turmoil, had a clear expression on his face. It was difficult to look at that face directly. Overwhelmed by shame and embarrassment, I buried my face in Ruben’s neck.
I replied in a voice thick with emotion.
“…He called me an outsider… and asked if I had the will to bear the karma of divine killing.”
“The karma of divine killing… So, in the end, I have to kill something…”
As the child squirmed, I sat Ruben on my thigh and helped him straighten his back. Ruben seemed to have difficulty sitting upright, his limbs constantly losing strength and his posture collapsing. Each time he coughed, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.
However, his voice remained steady.
“Mika. Do you feel any contaminated mana around you right now?”
“…No. Not at all…”
“Lord Ernhardt, Lord Claudian. Can you search the debris of the statue for anything that retains its original shape? Anything will do. You can also look for books on the nearby shelves that are unusually intact or undamaged despite this chaos, and check the condition of the weapons the statue used earlier…”
“Yes!”
“Yes.”
At his words, the two who had been standing awkwardly began to frantically search the shattered surroundings. I hesitated, wondering what I should do. Ruben, seeing me, blinked a couple of times and whispered playfully.
“Lord Ernhardt.”
“…Yes?”
“Please… let me lean on you a bit more. My body still aches.”
“…Yes.”
I was surprised he called me by my title, but it was just a joke.
After a moment’s thought, I picked up the child and stood up. I nudged a couch that had fallen nearby with my foot, setting it upright. I sat on it and placed Ruben on my lap, and the child shook his shoulders, laughing.
After enduring for a while longer, Ruben buried his head in my chest.
“…I’ll sleep for a bit.”
“Yes.”
He had run out of strength.
Still, sleeping was better than constantly suffering from pain. I knew he would cry out in pain if I patted his back, so I gently stroked his hair, tidying it so it wouldn’t be in the way.
Watching the two working from a distance, I felt incredibly ashamed and embarrassed, trying to relax. But I didn’t want to be apart from him at all, so I forced a composed expression and remained still.
Samantha Andrei never looked back at Ikyun, but Benjamin’s gaze kept returning to us. I gestured for him to get back to work, but he paid no heed. That’s why he always gets his side punched by Marianne. I bit back the urge to say something.