By Zephyria 
The sunlight streaming through the window stung his face. When he opened his eyes, it was already 10 AM.
Even though there was no real reason to force himself out of bed, Hui-won didn’t indulge in laziness and pushed the thin blanket aside. He carelessly swept back his tousled hair and slipped his bare feet into the slippers he had haphazardly kicked off.
His sluggish body slowly made its way out of the bedroom. It was an old wooden house, so the floorboards creaked with every slow step, but he paid it no mind. Hui-won headed to the small kitchen attached to one side of the living room and started by making coffee.
His hands handling the Moka pot had become quite natural. He transferred the hot coffee into a mug and turned around. Passing through the cramped living room, he also grabbed his phone and the book he had been reading yesterday.
When he swung open the balcony window wide, a lush green lawn garden spread out before his eyes. The summer-soaked grass itself radiated a healthy vitality. Beyond the surrounding iron fence stood neat rows of old-fashioned red brick houses. Even this exotic scenery was gradually becoming familiar.
It was already his first month since submitting his leave of absence and flying alone to Boston. His reason for coming here was simple.
He just wanted to quietly recover his mind and body in a place with no connections.
After experiencing a panic attack at work, Hui-won had frequent bouts of breathing difficulties. Medication didn’t solve it, and he had seriously considered hospitalization. But it was obvious the symptoms would repeat if he couldn’t get his emotions under control. In the end, the only way was to fix his broken self.
The problem was that recovery was slower when Kwon Young-je was by his side. While he was clearly the most reliable person, Hui-won didn’t want to show weakness in front of him. Constantly forcing himself to endure had often made him sick, and he was becoming increasingly worn out day by day.
So he chose Boston. Hui-won quite liked the house with its small garden. Being on the outskirts of the city and having few Koreans around was also a big plus.
He read books alone, took naps, and lived each day as he pleased. This unproductive life seemed to suit him quite well. Sometimes he would feel inexplicably angry or sink into gloomy moods, but since coming here, his breathing difficulties had disappeared. Hui-won was slowly, bit by bit, getting his mental state back in order.
In a way, this was convalescence. Understanding his wish to have time alone apart, Kwon Young-je had let him go. Of course, he had set a five-month grace period.
Hui-won knew it too. That it had been a difficult choice for him as well. He needed to recover quickly and return to Kwon Young-je’s side, but that wasn’t as easy as he wished.
The house he was staying in now was also chosen by Kwon Young-je. He knew he had agonized considerably over the decision. Where did his meticulous nature go? He didn’t say a word, but he was surely inwardly worried. However, he must have sent him off believing that their relationship wouldn’t waver even with this unexpected separation.
Hui-won changed his shoes and went down to the garden. He plopped down on a chair covered with a fine layer of overnight dust and leaned his languid body against it. True to midsummer, hot air rushed in through the gaps of his short-sleeved t-shirt.
Still, it was a relief it wasn’t humid or sweltering like Korea. The sunlight was harsh, but it was moderately cool in the shade, and a pleasant breeze blew. Hui-won took a sip of hot coffee and rubbed his eyes, still heavy with sleep.
Staring blankly at the garden with his head tilted, he suddenly picked up his phone. Unfailingly, there was a message from Kwon Young-je.
He contacted him three times a day, without fail.
The content was always the same. Starting with notifying his arrival at work, he sometimes left a brief summary of what happened at the company that day. And he asked how he was, if he slept well, timed for when Hui-won would wake up. There was a good 13-hour time difference between Korea and Boston, but he acted as if they were in the same time zone.
Kwon Young-je
Take an umbrella when you go out today.
Text me when you wake up.
Hui-won quietly took in the messages that had arrived one after another while he slept. He also had to send a survival report once a day. Whatever it was. Even if it was just a meaningless period.
He should send a reply, but his listless fingers fumbled uselessly on the screen. Just then, a snail crawling sluggishly on a large leaf caught his eye, and Hui-won zoomed in the camera and sent a meaningless picture of the snail.
The hastily sent photo soon made the number ‘1’ disappear. And a ‘…’ indicator appeared as if typing a message, continuing infinitely. Imagining Kwon Young-je carefully pondering what to reply to the bewildering photo, the stiffness at the corner of his mouth eased a little.
A reply came after a long while. ‘Cute.’ It was the best answer he could give.
“Liar, what’s cute about this.”
Hui-won laughed weakly and flipped his phone over. Lying sprawled on the chair, he let out another long sigh. His mood drew a curve of inflection every day. Despite the clear weather, it seemed like he would be down all day today.
Based on experience, if he stayed cooped up at home, he would sink endlessly, so he forced himself to go out. He wandered around the city to buy necessary groceries, and being influenced by the lively atmosphere, he somewhat regained his usual condition.
Around 5 PM, dark clouds slowly crept over the clear sky. As raindrops began to fall plop plop, Hui-won opened the umbrella he had brought in advance. How prescient, Kwon Young-je. You could lay out a mat.
He was more familiar with the local situation in Boston than he was. Come to think of it, Kwon Young-je had chosen the country, city, and even the house to live in. He himself didn’t care as long as it was an English-speaking place he could communicate in.
When he was almost home, he ran into a familiar neighborhood neighbor. Nancy was a Beta woman in her late 30s. She was also on her way home, it seemed, with her arms full of paper bags. Consequently, she was getting soaked by the rain, so after a brief greeting, Hui-won held his umbrella over her head.
[Hi, looks like you went to the market. Buy anything?]
[Just some fruit.]
[What have you been eating? You seem to be losing weight every time I see you.]
Nancy worried about Hui-won’s meals every time they met. Even though she didn’t seem like the type with a particularly broad interest in others’ affairs. She ran a bakery nearby and often offered desserts she made. Nancy always carried the scent of savory butter.
[Ah, would you like some cream pie? It came out really delicious today. You said you were curious about cream pie last time, right?]
[Huh?]
[No need to feel burdened. I got sick of it from eating so much while making it. Instead, try it and tell me how it tastes.]
She forcibly placed a cake box in Hui-won’s left hand. Both his hands were occupied with bags, so he had no chance to refuse. After passing off the food like that, Nancy hopped into her front yard. She seemed kind but absolutely never crossed a certain line. She was a really interesting person.
“…Why do you keep giving me food?”
According to Nancy, when you’re depressed, eating something sweet makes you feel better. Does my face look that pitiful? To some extent, it was true, so he had no room for excuses.
No matter how much someone liked desserts, this was an amount he couldn’t handle alone. Hui-won looked down at the heavy box in his hand and laughed. Well, the fridge was empty anyway, so he could just keep eating it. He thought he should share a few slices with the grandmother next door too.
This place wasn’t as well-equipped with food delivery services as Korea. It meant that even if he thought of something he wanted to eat, he couldn’t order it right away. As Hui-won took a bite of the cream pie Nancy made, he suddenly muttered to himself.
“Ah, I want kimchi stew.”
It would be perfect with rice.
But the reality was he was stuffing himself with cake drizzled with chocolate. Of course, this was tasty too, but by Korean racial characteristics, they needed periodic transfusions of kimchi and Korean food.
Seeing that things he wanted to eat were starting to come to mind, it seemed he was getting better. Hui-won put down his fork and turned his attention to his neglected phone.
It had been a full 10 hours since his last contact with Kwon Young-je. Korea was now in the middle of a busy workday. After a moment’s thought, he sent a text.
Make sure to eat well.
Less than a minute after the text was sent, a reply flew back.
Kwon Young-je
You too.
It was a phrase of just two characters, but the swift reply made him feel how on edge Kwon Young-je was about him.
It was quite something that he didn’t call despite this. He was faithfully following Hui-won’s request that they only exchange texts.
If he heard his voice, he would definitely miss him. Hui-won deliberately closed his phone. The time eating alone felt particularly lonely today.
The next evening, Flanco, who lived a block away, visited and unexpectedly bestowed a gift.
[What’s this?]
[We had a barbecue today. But we grilled way too much meat. Oh, and this is kimchi, right? I saw it when I went to the Korean market and bought some to try, but it was too spicy for me. If it’s okay with you, you can have it.]
He handed Hui-won a plate of well-grilled meat and a container of kimchi. On top of that, he had also slyly packed side dishes like dried seaweed and instant rice.
The Korean market was quite far from this neighborhood, so Hui-won didn’t go often either. The unexpected gift was welcome, but his feelings were utterly bewildering.
[Thank you. I’ll enjoy it.]
[Okay, then have a good night.]
Hui-won ended up eating the Korean food he had so wanted. The meat, grilled over charcoal, was of course excellent, and the kimchi from a major brand was so familiar it was perfect for filling his homesickness.
If he lived here, he wouldn’t starve to death.
He put the meat in his mouth while having such pointless thoughts. Paired with the kimchi, it felt like his lost appetite was coming back to life. As he was having a proper meal for once, the light above him flickered. The fluorescent light seemed to have reached the end of its lifespan, darkening.
Judging by its condition, it probably didn’t need immediate replacement and could last another day or two like this.
“……”
With one light out, the house quickly grew dark. Hui-won continued his meal silently in the darkness. Just a moment ago, he was doing okay, but now another sigh escaped. It seemed like a habit. Lethargy had seeped deep into his daily life without him realizing.
[Good morning, I happened to be passing by! Is there anything inconvenient about staying here?]
Early in the morning, the landlord suddenly visited and asked after his well-being. Hui-won came out with a sleepy face and scratched his forehead. The unannounced visit was simply baffling.
[…Yes, no problems.]
[The house is old, you see. May I take a quick look around?]
[Yes, sure. Come in.]
The landlord meticulously checked the bathroom plumbing, air conditioning facilities, and equipment. Without being told, he replaced the fluorescent light in the kitchen with a new one.
[This lamp has a short lifespan. I brought one just in case, good thing I did.]
Hui-won watched the landlord’s actions intently with his arms crossed. It was something to be grateful for, but his expression wouldn’t lighten.
Including the landlord, everyone around him was too kind. That made him even more uneasy. Was he being oversensitive?
“……”
Hui-won silently fiddled with the ring on his ring finger.