1 – Side Story 1

Hae-won tousled his hair once more in the reflection on the glass door of the recital hall. His fine, straight hair fell messily over his forehead.

He wasn’t happy with the haircut he’d gotten a few days ago. With one hand shoved poorly into a pocket of his school uniform pants, he swept and shook his hair several times. Today, the weight of the violin case slung over his shoulder felt particularly noticeable. It was summer, and the strap was damp and sticky with sweat.

After glancing around the lobby where arts high school students and audience members were standing and murmuring, Hae-won shifted his gaze to the glass door with an expression that suggested he wanted to flee.

It was the homecoming recital of a Seonbae who had gone to study in the UK after graduating from the arts high school. All music department students had been mobilized. Whenever a graduated Seonbae held a homecoming recital, it was the Hubae who filled the empty seats, and it counted as an official outdoor class for their performance evaluation. This was already his third visit this year to this recital hall, a place frequently used by Seonbae.

As Hae-won stared blankly at his reflection in the glass door, mindlessly messing up his hair, the piano department instructor in charge of today’s outdoor class approached. Smiling fondly at Hae-won, he placed his chin on the back of Hae-won’s head.

Hae-won looked at the man reflected clearly in the glass. He was a head taller than Hae-won, with an intellectual appearance on a different level from the kids Hae-won saw every day.

Will I have that kind of aura when I become a college student?

Hae-won often thought that when he looked at the instructor.

“I told you to line up and go in. What are you doing here?”

“…….”

As he said, students in summer uniforms were entering the performance hall one by one, following the heels of the person in front.

Hae-won had heard the Seonbae performing the solo recital today play before. To be honest, it wasn’t as good as the performance by a third-year Noona who had placed in some Concours a few months ago. If he had real skill, he wouldn’t be holding a homecoming recital; he would have returned to news of placing in prestigious European Concours.

Listening to a performance of such mediocre skill lowered the quality of his own playing. During these performance evaluation sessions where he had to submit a review, Hae-won would plug in his earphones, listen to a completely different kind of music, and sit listlessly, just passing the time.

He hated doing such pointless performance evaluations and naturally didn’t want to go inside. It was a colossal waste of time.

Looking at him, Hae-won gave no reply or response. The man’s hand subtly massaged the back of Hae-won’s head and nape. A faint warmth emanated from his touch.

“Hurry up and go in. There are only ten minutes left.”

“How’s my hair?”

Hae-won shifted his gaze to meet the instructor’s in the glass door, which clearly reflected both of them, as the instructor, unable to take his hand off Hae-won’s head as if petting a puppy, kept patting it. The instructor also looked at Hae-won’s reflection. His pupils carefully scrutinized Hae-won’s face and recently cut hair.

“Is it because it’s a bit frizzy here in the back? It’s fine. It looks cool.”

“I don’t like it.”

He didn’t know why empty words like ‘it’s fine’ and ‘it looks cool,’ said without sincerity, were so unpleasant to hear. His Father had said it was refreshing and pretty, and the housekeeper had said it was cut cleanly and well, but Hae-won still wasn’t satisfied.

There were bound to be days when you didn’t want to hear any sweet talk, and today was one of those days where any praise would just irritate and make him grumble. Stepping outside even one step brought stifling, sweltering heat. It was the beginning of the hot and humid season he despised.

He needed something else. Something stimulating, thrilling, something powerful enough to instantly evaporate the irritation in his head.

“I’ll just pop into the restroom. It’s so hot, I want to wet my hair a bit.”

Rubbing his sticky nape damp with sweat, Hae-won followed the signs for the performance hall restroom. The instructor’s gaze clung to his skin, sticky as the summer air.

“Oppa, over here.”

Woo-jin, who had folded up his shirt sleeves a few times, checked the watch on his wrist. He had parked the car far away. The weather was so hot that sweat broke out on his body just walking over. Seeing that it wasn’t cooling down even in the evening, it seemed the real heat wave was beginning.

Ha-young, who had arrived at the performance hall first, spotted Woo-jin and waved, a happy smile spreading across her face.

Instead of waiting inside the lobby where the air conditioning blew coolly, Ha-young stood outside the glass door despite the muggy weather. He knew well it was her foolishness, wanting to see him even a minute or a second sooner.

His lips formed a meticulously calculated, attractive, and soft arc. It was a smile that could even dispel the irritation of the hot weather.

Ha-young, who had majored in piano at the arts high school, had suddenly declared in her second year of high school that she would go to medical school.

For Ha-young, who had only done music, proper entrance exam studying was not easy even though she was prepared. She only got into medical school after a gap year, and she was now a second-year in the main medical school course. Woo-jin had also just entered the Judicial Research and Training Institute and was swamped. She, too, was buried in overwhelming studies, so meeting like this was their first time in months.

While they had only been asking about each other’s well-being over phone calls without seeing each other, Ha-young had cautiously asked, saying it was the homecoming recital of a Seonbae she was close to and she couldn’t not go, and asked if Woo-jin could go with her.

He didn’t want to spend time on such a fruitless endeavor, but to proceed with his plans as intended, he had to accept some sacrifices. It was Ha-young who had changed her major and entered medical school because of him. Woo-jin checked Ha-young’s expression to confirm that he was carrying out his objectives well.

As Ha-young waved, her sleeveless dress fluttered lightly in the evening breeze. Woo-jin stepped up the low stairs.

“Did you wait long?”

“I just got here too. Did I disturb your studying, Oppa? You said you have to keep taking exams.”

“I need to rest when it’s time to rest too. Shall we go in?”

“Ah, there are a lot of people right now, so let’s wait a bit… let’s stay here for a moment.”

Grabbing Woo-jin’s shirt as he was about to go in, Ha-young spoke in a somewhat pleading tone without meaning to. Woo-jin habitually checked the watch on his wrist again, which he had already checked. Splitting time into minute increments was his long-standing habit.

Ha-young stood there clutching the fabric of his shirt near his waist, and Woo-jin, seemingly unaware of it, took a cigarette pack from his pocket and put a cigarette in his mouth.

“The training institute must be very tough, right?”

“Not really.”

“Studying is hard for me. I don’t think it’s my aptitude.”

“You said you wanted to do it, so I didn’t stop you, but there’s no need to overdo it. I like you playing the piano too. How beautiful it is.”

His soft voice praised her, but Ha-young merely pulled the corners of her lips into a faint smile and looked at him with lonely eyes, neither agreeing nor disagreeing.

She had sensed long ago that he felt no emotional resonance with her playing. The only consolation was that Woo-jin wasn’t just bored by her piano playing; he couldn’t empathize with music itself and felt no emotional stirring from it.

So Ha-young, pursuing practicality, abandoned the piano and chose medical school. She wanted to become a person of use to him.

She knew well what Woo-jin valued. She wanted to fulfill his needs. She wanted to possess the conditions that would make him choose her without hesitation. She wanted to become the woman who suited him.

“But still… your Father and Mother, and your other brothers all went to medical school.”

“I didn’t go. Do as you believe.”

“Your Father’s lifelong wish was for you to go to medical school, Oppa. Since you didn’t go, I’ll fulfill it for him.”

“…….”

Woo-jin looked at Ha-young curiously and drew on the cigarette in his mouth. A strand of breath was sucked in, and his chest expanded.

Turning his head and exhaling smoke in a puff, his gaze naturally fixed on a male student in a summer uniform standing inside the glass door.

The boy was frowning as if something displeased him, nervously touching his hair reflected in the glass.

Ha-young, who had blurted out her inner thoughts without him asking, blushed and raised her eyes, which had been looking only at his feet. Woo-jin was looking somewhere with the cigarette still in his mouth. She followed his line of sight.

It was the arts high school summer uniform she had aimed for but couldn’t attend.

She had started piano at a very young age, four or five, because her Mother made her.

Ha-young’s piano skills neither particularly improved nor fell behind; they always remained at a standstill. Musicality was something innate, not something that developed through ordinary effort and polishing.

There was an abundance of geniuses who were both skilled and passionate about music. Ha-young, who did music because someone told her to, had limits in keeping up with them.

After failing the arts high school entrance exam she had aimed for and entering another arts high school her Mother forced her into, she vaguely prepared for college entrance exams and eventually decided to change her career path.

Ha-young’s sense of self, after her adolescence passed, resided not in herself but in Woo-jin.

Ha-young unconsciously stared blankly at Woo-jin’s profile as he held the cigarette between his lips and just let the smoke rise. His deep-set eyes remained fixed on the male student beyond the glass door for a long time.

“That’s the place you wanted to go, right?”

“……Ah, yes.”

In front of Woo-jin, for whom setting a goal and choosing a path meant executing it as a matter of course, nothing was as shameful as failing a high school entrance exam—not even a college entrance exam failure.

Woo-jin wasn’t interested in arts and sports, so he might not know, but getting into that arts high school was so difficult that even Ha-young, who received all kinds of support, considered it a hurdle, and while she secretly hoped he would recognize that steep difficulty, being someone who couldn’t rattle off excuses, Ha-young just bowed her head awkwardly as if being criticized.

Woo-jin was looking beyond the glass door at the male student and the teacher standing there touching the boy’s neatly cut hair.

“I think we should go in now.”

At the hint to put out his cigarette, Woo-jin stubbed out the long cigarette in a nearby trash can. Ha-young opened her handbag and fumbled out the tickets. Woo-jin took one of them as if snatching it.

“Go in first. I’ll follow right away.”

Before Ha-young could say anything in response, he passed through the revolving door and went into the recital hall. Ha-young, looking resentfully at his heartless retreating back as he headed towards the restroom, let out a sigh of resignation and trudged along.

The bell signaling the start of the performance rang. The voice of the staff member announcing the closing of admissions could also be heard.

Someone was standing in front of the inner restroom, past one more corridor, not the large lobby restroom. Woo-jin walked that way.

The man holding the restroom doorknob and looking around avoided Woo-jin’s eyes hastily, as if guilty, when their eyes met. He was in an awkward posture, neither opening the door to enter nor letting go of the doorknob. He stood with his back turned, waiting for Woo-jin to just pass by.

Woo-jin didn’t pass him but stood behind him. When Woo-jin’s footsteps stopped behind him, the man looked back.

Eyes that felt distinctly threatening despite taking no action. He had a gaze that seemed to press down on the crown of a person’s head.

“……There’s a restroom over there too. One of our school students is using this one right now. Would you go somewhere else?”

The man gestured with his chin towards the large lobby restroom. Woo-jin stared at him intently, looked down at the man’s hand holding the doorknob, then shifted his gaze back to his face.

The man seemed unable to make an objective judgment about what was strange about his own posture, standing there holding the restroom doorknob, claiming a student was using it. To anyone, it was a suspiciously lingering hand.

“Even if the student consented, an inappropriate relationship between a minor and a teacher is a clear crime.”

“……What?”

“It means even a consensual relationship can be punished.”

“Wha, what are you, what are you saying…?!”

The man’s face flushed instantly. He let go of the doorknob. Startled as if burned, he stepped back several paces.

Woo-jin looked at the man with sharp, observant eyes.

“Especially in a public restroom like this.”

“…….”

“It’s an impossible situation.”

“There seems to be some misunderstanding, I’m just waiting because one of our students isn’t feeling well. What kind of nonsense are you… hey, are you crazy?”

“Shall we hear the student’s statement too?”

“What kind of crazy lunatic bastard is this?!”

The man spat out curses as if disgusted. Still, he hesitated and gauged Woo-jin’s reaction, but Woo-jin showed no sign of flinching. The man knocked on the restroom door with his fist, bang bang, and shouted in an unnatural voice.

“Moon Hae-won! Come out quickly if you’re feeling better. I’m going ahead, Teacher.”

After raising his voice to convey the message to the person beyond the door, he looked at Woo-jin, who stood there unfazed without changing his expression, with bizarre and fearful eyes, then hurriedly turned away. His flustered back disappeared around the corner.

Woo-jin let out a low sigh, opened the restroom door, and went inside. There was no one in the restroom. It seemed to be a place used occasionally by the performance hall staff.

He stood in front of a urinal. Unzipping his pants, he took out his genitals, which felt heavy. Aiming the urethral opening at the white porcelain, he urinated. Only the sound of the stream flowing down echoed bleakly in the quiet interior. Having finished his business, he tucked himself in and turned around.

Woo-jin walked to the sink and turned on the faucet. As if he had OCD, he squeezed liquid soap onto his hands and meticulously washed them under the pouring water. Water droplets scattered onto his black wristwatch.

Hae-won, standing in front of the brightly lit sink mirror, wetting his hair and nape with cold water, turned his eyes towards Woo-jin in the mirror.

Having washed his hands with a serious demeanor, Woo-jin stretched out his long arm and took two paper towels from the dispenser next to Hae-won.

Hae-won, whose shirt collar had gotten wet and discolored, flinched and looked back at him. His movement, closing the distance instantly, felt aggressive.

Woo-jin, having dried his wet hands, spoke while adjusting his own attire in the mirror.

“Just study hard. A student’s duty is to study.”

“…….”

A voice with an unusually low tone muttered indifferently. Woo-jin threw the wet paper towels into the trash can and left the restroom.

Hae-won stared blankly at the exit where he had disappeared, then muttered in a disbelieving voice.

“What the hell, that old-fashioned bastard…?”

∞ ∞ ∞

He vaguely heard the sound of him leaving in his sleep… but when did he come back? A large hand, presumably Woo-jin’s, carrying the chill from outside, gently gripped Hae-won’s shoulder.

“Hae-won.”

“……Mmm.”

“Where’s my pass?”

“……Mmmm.”

Why are you asking me that?

He was sure he said that, but only sounds that were neither mumbles nor whines flowed from his sleep-drenched lips.

“Where’s the ID card? I’m in a hurry.”

“……What are you talking about, suddenly.”

His hand gripped Hae-won’s shoulder once, tightly enough to hurt. Only then did Hae-won lift his head, which had been buried in the bedding since dawn, asking what the noise was about.

Woo-jin was standing by the bedside, looking down at Hae-won. It seemed he had forgotten his ID card, gone out, realized it only when he reached the parking lot, and come back. Hae-won glanced at the watch on the bedside table. It was 6:30 in the morning.

Checking the reports from each intelligence agency that arrived every morning and selecting only the items he judged the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs or VIPs needed to know about was the start of his workday.

When he worked as a prosecutor, staying up all night was common, so he was busy; now, in the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs office, where all-nighters weren’t frequent, he was busy because of the reports he had to do every morning.

Thanks to that, his commute time had moved up considerably, and usually, Hae-won would sleep soundly, not even knowing if he had left, and wake up late.

To avoid being late, he had to leave the officetel by 6:30 AM. The minute hand of the watch was racing towards 6:35. It was sunrise time.

Rubbing his puffy eyelids with the back of his hand, Hae-won asked back in a heavily sleep-laden voice.

“I don’t know where it is. Where did I put it?”

“Give it to me, quickly.”

“You’ve been forgetting things a lot lately. What’s wrong, are you getting old?”

“Give it to me. Hurry.”

His voice spoke, maintaining a consistent tone.

“Give you what?”

“Hae-won.”

“Get me coffee. No, I want to sleep more. Want to sleep together? Come here. Let’s sleep together. It’s too early. The sun hasn’t even risen yet.”

Lying back down on the bed, Hae-won scooted over, patted the space warmed by his own body temperature, and looked up at him. Not even a microscopic change showed on his expression.

The mattress, worth about the price of a mid-sized car, was as comfortable as a cloud, and the bedding they had spent the night grinding against each other’s naked bodies in was warm with a pleasant heat and the scent of their skin.

“Stop joking around and give it to me.”

“Don’t be like that, come here. Going to work that early is illegal.”

“Moon Hae-won.”

He frowned.

A few days ago, he had hidden his phone, and today it was his ID card.

The access card was a pass for entering national key security facilities. Losing it usually didn’t end with just a reprimand. It meant submitting a written explanation, and if it accumulated, it could even lead to writing a resignation letter. Woo-jin didn’t want to submit a written explanation for such a trivial reason.

Moreover, having such a record on his work performance evaluation was shameful. When Woo-jin said he didn’t want to tarnish his clean work record, Hae-won would say to him, who had already been pardoned, “Old man, you’re an ex-convict. What does a work evaluation matter? You’re an ex-convict,” stirring up his nonexistent pride.

“Lie down here. I have something to say.”

“Haa.”

No matter how he furrowed his brows and glared menacingly, Hae-won didn’t even blink. As if teasing him, Hae-won smiled prettily and urged him to lie down beside him. Woo-jin let out a sigh drawn from deep within his stomach and swept back his hair.

It wasn’t that he wanted to play together, nor that he wanted to be together.

It was because there was no one to brew coffee or prepare breakfast for him. The royal princess who woke up to the morning sunlight wanted to have freshly brewed coffee and a club sandwich served by an attendant, made by someone, right on the bed. He wanted to enjoy a lazy, leisurely morning like that. With Woo-jin.

It was Hae-won’s own way of protesting Woo-jin’s early departure for work. Even if a knife were held to his neck, he wouldn’t hand over the access card. Hae-won was quite stubborn and had a knack for driving people mad.

Today was the day of the Su-bo meeting. Even Woo-jin couldn’t keep a VIP waiting.

Woo-jin, who had been looking around the officetel, walked somewhere. Hae-won, who had been lying on the bed watching his actions blankly, sprang up when he saw him pick up his own violin case leaning against the wall.

“What are you doing?”

He asked sharply, but Woo-jin didn’t reply and walked to the window, pushing the large window wide open. The dawn wind of the just-rising sun rushed in.

He abruptly held the Guadanini out into the empty air outside the window. The officetel was on the 22nd floor, and Hae-won’s violin was a Giuseppe Guadanini made in Cremona in 1796, a valuable antique whose price rose every time it was appraised.

Startled, Hae-won half-rose, then realizing his naked state, hurriedly sat back down and fumbled for clothes in the bedding.

“Wait! Wait, wait. Okay. I’ll give it. I’ll give it.”

“Bring it here.”

“I’m not dressed right now. Hyung, you bring it here first.”

“Come naked.”

“No. I’m embarrassed.”

“……Embarrassed?”

As if those words were some kind of stimulus, Woo-jin’s eyes sparkled with interest.

“Yeah, embarrassed.”

“So you’re embarrassed.”

“Close the window first. What if the violin falls? Do you know how much it’s worth? The price doesn’t matter. You can’t buy it with money.”

He spoke as gently and coaxingly as possible, but Woo-jin’s face remained as immovable as Hae-won’s stubbornness.

“I’m late. Bring it quickly.”

Woo-jin checked the watch on his wrist and let go of the violin case he was holding. The violin slid down through the air.

“Ah……!”

Hae-won was so shocked he couldn’t even make a sound, frozen with his arms stretched out, unable to catch it even if he tried.

The strap of the Guadanini case, which had just started to fall, caught on his wrist and dangled precariously in the air 22 floors up. It was a precarious and dangerous sight.

“You bastard! I really thought it was going to fall!”

“Bring it quickly. We’re one minute away from Hae-won’s violin being smashed to pieces.”

“Fucking bastard. Crazy bastard. Do you know you’re really crazy?”

“Hae-won-ah.”

A low voice called Hae-won’s name, whether it was urging him to bring the ID card quickly, threatening him not to call him by name, or warning him not to point out that he was indeed crazy. It was the last warning, the last push.

Panting, Hae-won rummaged through the bedding, found his pajamas, put them on, muttered curses, got up from the bed, and took out the ID card hidden somewhere on the bookshelf.

Inherently distrustful of others, even after seeing the card in Hae-won’s hand, he shook the violin case dangling dangerously outside the window again. Every time the violin swayed, Hae-won’s pupils and body flinched simultaneously.

“Don’t do it, I told you not to do it. Don’t!”

“Bring the pass here.”

Hae-won walked over panting and thrust out the pass.

“Put it in my jacket pocket.”

“Give me the violin quickly.”

“Put it inside.”

Hae-won glared at him and shoved the ID card into Woo-jin’s jacket pocket. Even then, he showed no sign of withdrawing his outstretched hand.

“I gave it to you. Now give me the violin.”

“Since you did wrong, give me a kiss on the cheek.”

“…….”

“Hurry. Hyung, I’m really late.”

After glaring at the infuriatingly annoying man, Hae-won grabbed Woo-jin’s shirt like a collar and instead of giving him a kiss on the cheek, he head-butted his lips so hard it hurt his front teeth.

Ugh, Woo-jin’s body swayed, and along with it, the violin outside the window wobbled, making Hae-won wrap his arms around Woo-jin’s waist as if he were about to fall.

With his arm still stretched out the window, Woo-jin looked down at the top of Hae-won’s head tightly embracing him.

“Let go, or you’ll fall. I kissed you. Now give it back.”

He brought his arm back from the window. As soon as the Guadanini entered the officetel, Hae-won snatched it from his hand. Hugging the case preciously, Hae-won’s gaze turned sharp as if facing a mortal enemy.

“If it had really fallen, I would never have seen Hyung again.”

“Is the violin more important than me?”

“More important.”

It was an answer without a moment’s hesitation.

“That’s disappointing. How can it be more important than me?”

“Don’t ever do that again. Don’t even joke about it. Don’t threaten me with my violin! You’re not even going to buy me a new one!”

“So when someone tells you something, listen. At least pretend to listen.”

Woo-jin’s hand tapped Hae-won’s cheek. Hae-won shook his head and protested roughly, telling him not to touch.

“Get lost quickly. If you like work so much, just work. Don’t come here.”

“Who was it that told me to work? The one who pushed me away first, not only can’t support me, what is this you’re doing?”

“Talking about support. Why don’t you just look for burnt rice water by the well?”

“You know that has nothing to do with this situation, right?”

“Would someone in their right mind look for burnt rice water by the well?”

Hae-won shot back, tightly hugged the violin, and turned away. Afraid he might take it again, he sat on the sofa hugging it like a knot and glared at him with hawk-like eyes to leave quickly.

Woo-jin let out a light sigh and approached Hae-won. He pinched and lifted the cheek that was glaring at him full of anger.

“I’ll be back. Sleep more.”

“How can I sleep now? My violin almost got smashed?”

As if to block the lips that were pouting and retorting, Woo-jin pressed his lips against them. He gently bit and licked the soft flesh. Just as he was about to straighten his bent upper body after only kissing, Hae-won’s hand suddenly grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down.

Hae-won’s tongue abruptly entered his mouth. Wrapping around and sucking up to the root of his tongue, he pulled it into his own mouth and kissed so fiercely it made a wet sound.

“Ugh……!”

Woo-jin grabbed the hand holding the back of his neck to pull it away. The more he did, the deeper Hae-won’s kiss became. Just as Woo-jin, who had been trying to pull away somehow, suddenly changed his attitude and actively pressed his lips, Hae-won pushed him away and separated. The tongue that had been tickling Woo-jin’s mouth slipped out.

He curled and sucked his lips, where Hae-won’s touch remained vividly. He tasted Hae-won. It tasted like lotion, and it seemed to have a sweet perfume scent.

Woo-jin, who had been licking his own lips with his tongue, spoke softly.

“Don’t use skills in the morning. That’s cheating.”

“What skills? I just gave a normal kiss. I do this much as a basic.”

“Please, don’t play games in the morning.”

“I’ve never played games.”

“Sleep more. I’m going.”

“Go or don’t.”

He tenderly stroked the sulking cheek, straightened his waist, and turned away with a smile.

Hae-won hugged the violin case and watched his retreating back as he left the officetel. Woo-jin left just like that, without any lingering attachment.

Soon the door closed, and the surroundings grew quiet.

“Don’t go. I want to be with you.”

The soliloquy made the already chilly surroundings even colder. Hae-won hugged the violin case preciously as if it were Woo-jin.

“I want to be with you more.”

Even though they had been together all night, it felt empty and lonely when he woke up and he wasn’t there. More than empty, it was desolate and lonely. Lately, since they couldn’t spend mornings together, Woo-jin’s presence felt even more desperate during this time. He hated waking up to the annoying alarm instead of his touch.

Hugging the case in a pitiful manner, Hae-won closed his eyes. As tension eased, drowsiness washed over him. His head tilted and rested against the case as if placed on it.

“……I shouldn’t have told him to get a job.”

Like a drunk passenger dozing off with his head bowed on the subway, Hae-won hugged the violin and briefly fell asleep. As he dozed in that uncomfortable position, he heard a sound. He opened his eyes at the strange presence.

Woo-jin was standing there, staring down at him, having returned at some point.

“Why are you dozing off sitting up?”

“……I missed Woo-jin Hyung.”

“If you miss me, you doze off sitting up?”

“Yeah.”

He let out a breath as if going crazy. Hae-won knew his anguish. He had already forgotten that Woo-jin had tried to throw his violin on the street. In the end, the sight of him returning was lovely and welcome. Hae-won, who was far from an angel, smiled an angelic smile.

“Why did you come back? Hurry and go. You’ll be late for work.”

Even as he said that, Hae-won didn’t take his fixed gaze off him. Today, he especially wanted to see him more and for longer.

He, who had been silently looking down at Hae-won, took off his jacket. He tossed it carelessly on the floor and pulled off his tie. Hae-won’s eyes widened round. Now he was definitely, unavoidably late.

He had to submit a report every morning, and those who received his report were the Chief Secretary, the Chief of Staff, and the VIP.

Hae-won felt like he was committing a great wrong against the nation. Not only was he not being patriotic, he was harming the country’s state affairs.

“Hyung, you’ll really be late.”

“It’s okay. I can change the order.”

“Sorry. I won’t play around with the ID card again. I won’t do it.”

“Yeah, don’t do it again.”

Woo-jin’s lips approached with a smile. He pushed the violin far away, laid Hae-won down on the sofa, and climbed on top of him as if taking over. At the same time, he lowered his head and bumped their lips together.

Hae-won grabbed his shirt, trying to push him away and somehow get him up. Hot tongues rubbed against each other, licking the roof of his mouth and going deep inside. Hae-won had no choice but to open his mouth wider. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders. Whether he was late or not, he didn’t care anymore.

In the past, he would have cut it off sharply and left. Something like coming back to work because he was on his mind would never have happened.

It wasn’t that Woo-jin had become flexible. It was just that his priorities had changed. Hae-won was his first, second, third, and fourth priority.

To Woo-jin, Moon Hae-won was the priority and everything. Everything else was just secondary and trivial issues. Nothing else mattered.

Woo-jin, who had unbuttoned his shirt and taken off his top, pulled down Hae-won’s pajama pants. Hae-won’s top had already rolled up to his chest.

He grabbed the warm, heated mounds with both hands and squeezed them as if to burst them. Hae-won, who had been hanging onto Woo-jin’s neck and kissing him, frowned.

“Haa……, ah, ugh, it hurts.”

Complaints burst out along with moans from his heated lips.

“You made me unable to go because you wanted to do this.”

Parting Hae-won’s legs and leaning his weight, Woo-jin pressed his lower body tightly and rubbed slowly. His bare skin rubbed against the texture of his suit pants.

Frowning, Hae-won looked down at the unseen below. He pressed his lips against Hae-won’s drooping, dense, long eyelashes. He pressed his lips against the corners of his eyes, the tip of his nose, his cheeks, and temples, sucking and making ticklish contact sounds.

“Touch it with your hand.”

A low voice, like the low string of a Guarneri resonating, came from right near his ear, sending a chill down his spine. Hae-won trembled his shoulders and lowered his hand, stroking and gripping the area above his groin. The outline of the already swollen, about-to-burst flesh leaning to the left was vivid. Slowly stroking up the hard, bulging flesh from the root with a firm hand, his breathing grew heavier.

The earnest and active caress swept over Hae-won. Hae-won lightly pushed away the man clinging to him.

“Haa, if you drain all my energy from the morning, what about work?”

“You said you were embarrassed because you’re naked.”

“……Pathetically, you’re turned on by such words?”

“Lately, I get stimulated by everything, no matter how trivial.”

“You said it doesn’t matter if you don’t solve things like sexual desire, you just keep lying more and more.”

“You’re the one who made someone who had no interest in such things end up like this.”

Last night, they probably did it over three times. Twice inside, and the last release was spilled outside. He could still vividly feel the sensation of the warm liquid trickling down the inside of his thigh.

Unable to enter Hae-won, who couldn’t endure after two times, he poured his desire onto his bare, writhing skin. As if he would do it many times like that, his genitals were vividly alive and twitching. Rubbing the hot lump of flesh against Hae-won’s perineum, Woo-jin let out a frustrated breath.

He was the one who had an eerily expressionless face during sex. Even as he pulled Hae-won, who was being pushed up by his strength, back down, he didn’t disrupt his composed posture, and his breathing never became rough carelessly.

Even when their naked bodies were intertwined, he rarely showed his inner feelings, but now he was completely immersed, not hiding his desire but rather revealing it blatantly.

When he exhaled like a beast and came, Hae-won’s heart trembled weakly. Seeing him like that made his face flush and his breath quicken.

Why it trembled so much, why that insignificant appearance looked so innocent and pure, was something he couldn’t understand.

The moment Woo-jin, this man, dared to look pure was only when he was completely stripped bare in front of him.

In front of Hae-won, he was a boy, a youth, a man who only thought about and longed for love. No other impurities, no other filth could intervene.

Like sunlight sparkling transparently between lush leaves……, it was dazzling.

Hae-won stroked his purity with his hand, undid the man’s belt, and unfastened the buckle and zipper. He pulled out the lump of flesh that felt hot enough to burst.

The large hand that had been impatiently and busily touching Hae-won’s face and hair grabbed both Hae-won’s already erect and anxiously leaking precum and his own genitals at once. As his lower body pressed close and rubbed, his skin scraped against the coarse pubic hair, feeling a tender pain.

“Ah……, ah, ah-ung.”

He pressed against and sucked the moaning lips. Hae-won wrapped his arms around his neck as if to strangle him. His waist trembled finely. His skin heated up, and even the slightest brush felt like pleasure indistinguishable from pain, shocking his body like an electric current.

Hanging onto his neck, he bit the tongue that was sucking frantically. His throat busily sucked and swallowed Woo-jin’s breath and saliva.

Their intertwined bodies and the weight pressing heavily on his chest swayed together.

Woo-jin’s hand quickly stroked his flesh. Under the rough touch, Hae-won felt like he was going crazy. A sharp pain spread through his lips, his lower body, and his entire body like a rash.

He freed one arm wrapped around his neck and added it to his hand. Together, they stroked up the flesh. Woo-jin liked Hae-won’s hand.

“Touch it more. Haa, Hae-won-ah, Hyung, touch my dick.”

“Ah-ugh, it’s hot. It’s so hot, ah, I feel like my brain is melting.”

“Huh, Hae-won-ah. Hae-won-ah. Moon Hae-won, ah.”

Damn, he cursed in a low voice, stiffening his entire body. Following Hae-won’s reddened gaze, physiological tears unable to bear the pleasure trickled down.

Hae-won came in his arms, held warmly. He kissed Woo-jin’s lips. The forearm supporting Woo-jin’s curved spine and upper body trembled faintly, the lines of muscle rising distinctly. At the same time, Woo-jin’s ejaculate soaked Hae-won’s chest and stomach, slowly trickling down over his skin.

The breath he had been holding burst out violently.

“Haa, haa, haa……”

The chest now damp with sweat pressed down on Hae-won just like that. Hae-won rubbed his hot cheek against Woo-jin’s neck.

His mind was dazed. He liked Woo-jin’s body temperature and scent, the refined shape of his muscles, and his sturdy frame like a giant tree. Even if he didn’t like him, the well-trained physique was splendid in itself, and as Tae-shin had argued, he was handsome anyway, possessing beautiful sculptural qualities.

Woo-jin would work out using the Blue House fitness facilities whenever he had time after coming to work. It seemed he exercised with the police officers in charge of Blue House security at the Yeonmugwan.

After he mentioned in passing that the Blue House police officers’ bodies were like crustaceans, and Hae-won said he wanted to see such a crustacean-like body once, a subtle competition arose with them, and Woo-jin’s body became even better than before.

Hae-won liked him. Somehow, he liked him. Strangely, such intense fondness made a person miserable.

Hae-won became miserable because he liked him so much. A childish urge to declare that he liked him sprouted like goosebumps all over his body. Hae-won got goosebumps because he liked him.

He could have gone to Woo-jin’s officetel front again and again to end it, to break up. Whether it snowed or rained, or both snow and rain fell together, he could have waited for him endlessly for hours.

To ruin Woo-jin, who had used and played with him without love, without any emotion—to punish him—Hae-won could have poured gasoline onto blazing flames and leaped in. He could have dismembered that beautiful body praised by professionals into pieces, vomited sobs, and laughed until his stomach split.

Through Woo-jin, Hae-won learned that one could love and hate someone simultaneously. The crimson emotion was sometimes bewildering. He had never experienced such a crisis in his life. Ultimately, he had never lived like a human being.

A large hand, sticky with sweat, patted his dazedly slackened cheek, making him look up. Hae-won gazed up at him blankly and met his eyes.

Woo-jin looked at Hae-won’s white face, both cheeks flushed rosy red, with terrifyingly clear magnetism. In his shimmering, drowning pupils lay a sorrow Woo-jin couldn’t begin to guess.

Hae-won had matured further. Proportionately, he had become more beautiful and emitted a sweeter, softer scent. A change like an unavoidable, unwanted pain was evident. Woo-jin’s cracks and unease always began with Hae-won.

“I told Manager Lee Jin-soo. He’ll pick you up in the morning.”

“I said don’t. I can drive.”

“Don’t argue. If you don’t like it, report in yourself every two hours.”

“It’s bothersome every time.”

“If it’s bothersome, just do as you’re told.”

Further rebuttal was meaningless against someone openly declaring surveillance. Hae-won gave a perfunctory, dissatisfied nod as if to say, do as you please. Then, as if remembering, he asked,

“You’ll come early today, right?”

“Today? What about today… Is it the day the recording from a while ago airs?”

Hae-won had appeared on a classical music program a few weeks ago. It was natural that Woo-jin remembered it, but Hae-won felt grateful and happy that he knew the exact broadcast date. A smile he couldn’t hide rose to Hae-won’s face.

“Let’s watch it together. It airs at seven-thirty.”

“Shall I pick you up at the concert hall?”

“You said you told the manager to come.”

“I’ll pick you up in the evening.”

At his affectionate suggestion, Hae-won shook his head.

Pulling up the languid Hae-won to sit, he went to wet a towel. He wiped Hae-won’s body, stained with bodily fluid, and cleaned himself up afterward.

While Woo-jin put on the shirt, tie, and jacket he had shed like a shell on the floor, Hae-won returned to the bed and flopped down.

Woo-jin, ready to leave, brought headphones. He played music Hae-won enjoyed, adjusted the volume not too loud nor too soft, and fitted them snugly over Hae-won’s ears.

He leaned down and brought his lips to Hae-won’s shoulder and shoulder blade as he lay prone. He kissed Hae-won’s bare skin as if leaving the stain of lingering attachment.

The sensation of lips pressing down on his back and shoulder faded away. Due to the Chopin ballad flowing through the headphones, he didn’t hear Woo-jin leaving.

Hae-won folded his arms and brought them to his cheek. Blinking dazedly, he gazed at the space beside him, where Woo-jin had lain all night, then fell into a sudden sleep.

Because the Blue House strictly enforces an alternate-day vehicle restriction, Woo-jin, who drove to work daily, had no choice but to use a private parking lot slightly farther away rather than one near the Blue House.

Already running late, he was further delayed by parking and hurried his steps toward Yeonpungmun. Passing the staff entrance, he headed to Yeomin 2 Hall, where the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs’ office was located.

The Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs’ office comprises, headed by the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs, a Civil Affairs Secretary overseeing all operations, an Anti-Corruption Secretary handling prosecutorial misconduct, a Public Ethics Secretary handling internal inspections, and a Legal Affairs Secretary handling the President’s legal affairs.

Woo-jin was appointed as a special civil servant to the Anti-Corruption Secretary position, handling prosecutorial misconduct.

He was a prosecutor-turned-secretary who went against the prosecution’s will, and the first thing he did upon arrival was to make the High Prosecutor General candidate recommended by the Prosecutor General voluntarily resign without any fuss.

Upon arriving at the office, an administrative officer working with him bowed in greeting. While doing so, he glanced subtly somewhere. Woo-jin’s gaze, returning the greeting, turned in that direction.

Chief Kwon was walking toward Woo-jin. Woo-jin greeted him as well.

“Good morning.”

“Why is someone so sharp with work so lax with attendance? Why are you late today?”

“There was a minor car accident.”

“Last week you were late because of a car accident too.”

Chief Kwon retorted, seemingly absurdized by the calm, smooth lie. Even though the lie was exposed, Woo-jin replied without changing his expression.

“Ah, was that so? Then today, let’s say the car in front of me had an accident, causing traffic.”

“Huh, look at this guy.”

Chief Kwon was speechless. As Woo-jin listed excuses that weren’t even excuses and headed toward his own office nonchalantly, Chief Kwon, flustered himself, called him back.

“Secretary Hyun, if you’re not busy, how about some tea?”

Chief Kwon, entering his own office, pointed to the reception table. Woo-jin sat on the sofa, undoing his jacket buttons for ease of movement.

“That Deputy Chief of the Office for Government Policy Coordination has only been appointed for half a year now. If we replace him this time, there will be criticism that the Blue House personnel verification system is flawed. It’s perfect for catching flaws. I’m thinking it might be better to proceed during the regular personnel reshuffle. What’s your opinion?”

“You haven’t reported it yet?”

“Not yet. I’ve discussed it with the Chief of Staff.”

Chief Kwon personally poured tea, placed it on the table before Woo-jin, and sat in the host seat.

“It’s intelligence from the National Tax Service. Even if those involved try to silence it, we don’t know when the media will catch wind, and even if he steps down under other pretexts, it will eventually come out. Don’t drag it out; proceed quickly. The improper solicitation case I reported yesterday has been transferred to the Audit and Inspection Office of the Ministry of Science and ICT.”

“I heard there’s a report the Special Investigation Team Leader discarded. Have you checked?”

“The exact contents haven’t been confirmed, and the person involved is under suspension for a month due to disciplinary action. I’ll meet him directly to see if there’s any basis or evidence and report separately.”

“Is it difficult because the Special Investigation Team Leader is your Seonbae?”

“No, not particularly. My Seonbae has been very cooperative.”

At Woo-jin’s indifferent tone, Chief Kwon burst into a hearty laugh. He sipped the hot tea and looked at the handsome man.

He was undoubtedly quite different from the expected image. Instead of being polished, he was unhesitating; though expected to be polite, his speech, while using honorifics, was more bluntly direct than informal speech.

If he were just an ordinary superior, such an attitude would be unpleasant. But to Chief Kwon, who had dealt only with calculating politicians, Woo-jin’s completely unpretentious words and actions felt like a refreshing change.

The prosecution organization was deeply rooted in the principle of prosecutor unity, unconditionally following orders from above with the Prosecutor General at the top. It was hard to believe that someone with such an attitude had been a prosecutor trusted deeply until he resigned. If not for that incident, he might have held key positions, risen quickly, and reached a position more influential than the one he sat in now. From his perspective, entering the Blue House might not have been a promotion. Yet Woo-jin had voluntarily given up his prosecutor position.

“Anyway, you’re the first nutcase like you.”

Woo-jin, who had been taking a sip of tea, looked back at Chief Kwon with the teacup still at his lips. When their eyes met, Chief Kwon flinched unnecessarily. As if hearing the world’s most unpleasant insult, one of Woo-jin’s eyebrows twisted fiercely as he set down the teacup.

“……Nutcase? That’s going too far.”

Chief Kwon waved his hands in denial.

“No, that’s not what I meant—you’re good at your job, that’s it. Pushing forward without looking back is thrilling, something like that.”

“Ah, that’s what you meant. I lack a sense of humor.”

Even with Chief Kwon’s explanation, he replied dryly, as if uttering empty words.

“If you were offended, I apologize.”

“No. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Seems you heard a lot of that when you quit being a prosecutor? Nutcase, or crazy, or whatnot?”

Chief Kwon inwardly guessed that might be why Woo-jin was sensitive to such evaluations.

“Yeah, something like that.”

Woo-jin gave a lukewarm acknowledgment.

“It wasn’t a choice a sane person would make. It was possible because it’s you.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment too.”

“Right, it’s a compliment.”

The frown that had been displeased at taking “nutcase” at face value smoothed into indifference as if nothing had happened.

Woo-jin sipped his tea ordinarily. Chief Kwon also lifted his teacup. A brief silence revisiting “nutcase” flowed between them.

Being able to manipulate the proud prosecution to this extent was difficult even for those from high prosecutorial ranks. It wasn’t because Woo-jin possessed some extraordinary ability. It was because the prosecution, realizing his bulldozer-like actions that ignored everything were beyond common sense, cooperated on their own.

They knew better than Chief Kwon that if Woo-jin set his mind to something, he was absolutely not someone who would die alone.

Especially within the Special Investigation Team of the Anti-Corruption Secretary’s office, there had been noises that were hard to correct under his control—since he wasn’t from the prosecution—despite Chief Kwon’s repeated warnings about inappropriate conduct, but after Woo-jin arrived, such noises disappeared as if they were lies.

Without even sharing personnel authority, the prosecution cooperating with the Blue House like this was likely the first since the government’s inauguration. Recruiting Woo-jin was a risk, but the gains were as great as the risk.

“By the way, you know it’s almost the season for public officials’ asset disclosures, right?”

“I’ve completed my report.”

High-ranking Blue House public officials must mandatorily report asset changes, which are disclosed to the public through the official gazette. Woo-jin’s assets would also soon be available for viewing.

His sense of justice—or rather, insanity—that bound criminals and his own ankles together, ultimately putting them on trial when all that was left was to rise swiftly as a capable prosecutor, was one thing, but due to Woo-jin’s superior looks and unusual history, both political parties were desperate to recruit him.

That wasn’t all. He even possessed the wealth to support rumors that he had a long-term relationship with the daughter of a certain chaebol family.

Chief Kwon had always considered himself part of a chosen class, having met good parents and received a good education, but only after meeting Woo-jin did he belatedly realize that the world had separately chosen people, and this land was not fair.

He wondered if it was okay for a person to be this perfect—Woo-jin possessed too much. Since he himself had ambition, he could become anything if he set his mind to it.

That worried Chief Kwon. While running on the path to success was important, he greatly hoped Woo-jin would grow in a good direction.

“How about liquidating some of your stocks?”

“They were all acquired legally. There shouldn’t be any problem.”

“Having too much is the problem. You have to consider public sentiment too. Do you know you’re ranked second in assets among National Assembly members and public officials combined?”

“Is that all?”

Woo-jin asked, seemingly absurdized. He apparently thought he would naturally be first. Hearing he was second, his pride seemed somewhat wounded.

“Is that all… Ha. Yeah, that’s all. Stock prices fell a lot. That Han-gyeong CEO is in prison, you know.”

Kim Jeong-geun was in prison, and Woo-jin had let go. Han-gyeong Group’s stock price, having lost business expansion potential, had plummeted to almost one-third while he stepped back. Woo-jin’s assets, as one of Han-gyeong’s major shareholders, had decreased accordingly. Even decreased, he was second after a certain assemblyman who was a trillion-won stock wealthy as a platform founder, so if his assets hadn’t decreased, he would have easily taken first place, as his absurd reaction suggested.

“Anyway, there will be talk here and there, and many temptations. I trust you to handle it well, but maintaining your convictions as now might not be easy. It’s a position that receives many solicitations. You must keep your wits about you and manage your surroundings thoroughly. You’re not planning to quit after working here, are you? There’s still a long way to go.”

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

“Good, I’m glad to hear that. You may go.”

“I’ll take my leave.”

Even to the overt offer of support, Woo-jin showed no particular emotion, bowed to Chief Kwon, and turned away.

“Ugh……”

Sweeping back his disheveled hair, Hae-won raised his upper body from where it was buried in the bedding. Looking at the phone on the side table, it was a little past eight in the morning.

As soon as he got up, Hae-won turned on the TV out of habit.

He set it to a news channel and stared blankly at the TV screen. After fidgeting like that for over ten minutes, he finally left the bed. Last night he had tormented someone, and because of another round this morning, his limbs felt heavy as lead.

Hae-won entered the bathroom while letting the anchor’s world news from behind flow through one ear.

After showering with hot water, his mind finally cleared. Tossing his wet hair with a towel, he hurried to the TV. Fixing his eyes on the screen, he dried the moisture from his hair, drank coffee, and put a piece of bread in his mouth, chewing slowly. Hae-won didn’t take his eyes off the news screen all morning.

He finished getting ready for work by changing clothes and roughly sweeping back his messy hair. It was time to leave now. Hae-won, who had been gloomily staring at the news screen, turned off the TV power disappointedly when the weather caster delivered the weather report.

He hadn’t seen him yesterday, nor the day before. Since briefly appearing standing next to the Blue House spokesperson last Friday before disappearing, Woo-jin hadn’t been on the news.

When Hae-won saw Woo-jin on the TV screen, his spirit seemed to evaporate and fly away, leaving him staring blankly.

The expressionless face from which no thought could be traced, the firmly closed lips that would never utter any affectionate word, the black pupils that suffocated the viewer—there was a gap so wide it was hard to believe he was the same person seen at home.

Hae-won knew well that Woo-jin changed only for him. He liked reaffirming that fact through the unfamiliar image of him seen on the news.

So, upon waking, he started his day by turning on the news channel first. Whenever he discovered Woo-jin’s unfamiliar, cold image within the screen, Hae-won’s heart pounded like a teenager with a crush.

That man, the man standing silently with tightly closed lips, had lain beside him last night. Naked all night, he had grabbed the nape of Hae-won’s neck as he thrashed saying no, and poured fierce kisses upon him several times, as if to swallow him whole to the root of his tongue.

That man, that obsessive control freak who couldn’t stand schedules going awry, was late to work because of him, completely unperturbed.

Hae-won, who had to force himself up after his work hours were significantly moved forward, rarely saw him in the mornings and couldn’t drink the coffee he made. Sometimes it was because he hid his phone, and today it was because he hid his ID card.

After finishing his preparations to leave, Hae-won slung his violin over his shoulder and opened the door. The manager was standing at the entrance, as if he had arrived early and been waiting.

“Good morning. Here’s some coffee.”

“If you’re here, don’t just wait—ring the bell. And I’ve already had coffee.”

Unless there was a special schedule, Hae-won traveled alone. The manager only accompanied him when he had TV appearances or private performances requiring company assistance.

Today, aside from orchestra practice, he had no schedule. Yet, Lee Jin-soo had recently started waiting for Hae-won in front of the officetel every day, holding coffee he hadn’t even been asked to bring.

“Please, have another cup. I brought it with good intentions.”

“How much are you getting paid by Woo-jin Hyung?”

He asked while reluctantly accepting the coffee being pushed toward him. Following Hae-won’s steps toward the elevator, Jin-soo replied.

“Why do you keep asking how much I make? I’ve told you before that asking about other people’s income is rude and inappropriate.”

There was more than one or two things Hae-won said or did that put Jin-soo in an awkward position. If it were just words that made him uncomfortable, he could let them go in one ear and out the other, but Hae-won’s habit of blurting out whatever came to mind without any filter, even to people he was meeting for the first time, had made Jin-soo’s hair stand on end more than once.

So, whenever Hae-won carelessly said something rude, Jin-soo started warning him not to do it, or he’d get scolded. It became a habit—whenever Hae-won said something, Jin-soo would caution him about being rude, ignorant, or how others might interpret his words, paying extra attention to keeping his mouth in check. While it was part of the agency president’s instructions, Jin-soo did it mostly on his own initiative.

“I’m going to tell your president that Manager Lee Jin-soo is taking money from elsewhere and doing shady things.”

“The president already knows I’m working two jobs.”

“……”

Hae-won stopped mid-sip and glanced at him.

“I told you to just think of me as nonexistent, like air, an inanimate object.”

“That’s not possible… Ugh, it feels like I’m being watched, and it’s unsettling.”

Whether it was because the memory of Woo-jin attaching a magnet to him and monitoring him still lingered unpleasantly, Hae-won felt uneasy lately, as if someone was watching him whenever he stepped outside.

“It’s easier on your mind if you just accept it as the fate of public figures.”

After swallowing the bitter coffee, Hae-won let out a deep sigh. He got into the elevator with Jin-soo and went down to the underground parking lot.

“Don’t wait at the officetel door from now on. Just call me when you get to the parking lot. I’ll come down.”

“I can’t. I was told to pick you up right from the door.”

“We’re just going up and down in the same building, not even going outside. What could possibly happen to make such a fuss?”

“Still. If anything happens, I’ll be torn to pieces from all sides.”

“……”

Hae-won let out a long breath, as if to say, do as you please.

He had thought that by this age, he would live more independently and more lonely than before. He never imagined in his wildest dreams that he would receive even more overprotection than a child left out on the street.

Whenever Hae-won complained and stared at him with silent pressure, Jin-soo would say that he was the head of his household, had two younger siblings still in school, his mother had a chronic illness, and his father—who was clearly alive and had been hospitalized last month for acute appendicitis—had apparently passed away years ago, making life extremely difficult.

Hae-won was extremely annoyed and wanted to ask how many fathers he had, but every time he was about to say something, he stopped himself.

Although those around him hadn’t noticed a significant change in his personality, Hae-won himself had consciously become more flexible and tolerant in everything. His heart had grown broader than before.

Hae-won had never wanted anything in life. There was nothing he wished to achieve. He just lived as things came. It wasn’t that he lived recklessly, but he had no particular attachment or meaning to life—he just lived because he was alive.

But now was different. Now he had someone he loved, someone waiting for him at home. Just the fact that he was no longer alone made his heart feel ample and abundant.

Anyway, everyone was making a fuss. The manager was making a fuss, and the person making the biggest fuss was someone else, but anyway, it was all a fuss.

After Hae-won appeared on TV, gifts and fan letters started arriving at the agency. At first, they were sensible gifts like chocolates, cookies, and health foods.

Then one day, photos of Hae-won leaving the officetel, returning home, and entering the building’s convenience store in pajamas arrived along with fan letters professing love, admiration, and fervent declarations.

Despite the officetel being inaccessible to non-residents and the fact that unless someone was interested in classical music, they wouldn’t even know who he was, the obsessive behavior of tracking down his home was seen by everyone as a warning sign of potential crime.

Because one person was particularly fussy about Hae-won’s safety, the manager had to report on Hae-won’s whereabouts every two hours and even send photos of Hae-won’s audacious moments, like flashing a middle finger with a rotten smile at the phone camera aimed at him. Of course, he received appropriate compensation separately.

If he was curious, he could just call and ask where he was or what he was doing, but the man bypassed that quick method and insisted on receiving reports on Hae-won’s every move through a third party. It seemed he was used to doing things that way his whole life, so it felt more comfortable.

Hae-won got into the backseat of the manager’s car and gazed absently at the receding street scenery through the window. The trees along the spring street were now noticeably covered with thumbnail-sized light green buds. Lowering the window, the spring air surged in.

Jin-soo cautiously glanced at the now-quiet Hae-won in the rearview mirror. He felt frustrated that he couldn’t tell Hae-won the truth, especially since Hae-won disliked feeling watched due to the president’s and Woo-jin’s strict orders.

It’s not like knowing would do any good… With his personality, he wouldn’t just stay quiet. It’s better if he doesn’t know. Jin-soo thought this and straightened his gaze.

They arrived at Han-gyeong Concert Hall and headed to the orchestra practice room together.

As the associate principal second violin, Hae-won sat next to the concertmaster. Jin-soo hid behind the grand piano, standing and filming Hae-won tuning his violin strings with his phone camera. He sent the photo to Woo-jin’s number, adding a message that they had arrived safely at the concert hall.

∞ ∞ ∞

“Secretary, all relevant documents have been shredded, and the backup on the cloud is complete with security measures.”

“Thank you for your hard work. I’ll be leaving now.”

Woo-jin could only leave the office as time was running out. It was fortunate that while the job required weekend work during busy periods, it allowed for leaving on time during quieter days.

If he couldn’t see Hae-won in the morning and couldn’t see him in the evening either, Hae-won’s cute pranks would inevitably escalate to a point where they were no longer endearing.

Compared to his time as a prosecutor, the workload here was less overwhelming. Of course, it was natural that his time as a prosecutor—when he illegally surveilled, investigated, made lists on his own, and caused chaos by declaring he’d take people down without anyone asking—was more exhausting.

He got into the car and started the engine. As the engine sound and smooth vibration of the car body were felt, his phone rang. It wasn’t Hae-won but his mother. Woo-jin hesitated for a moment before answering.

“Yes.”

—Where are you? Are you on your way home from work?

“Yes.”

—Come home. Your father wants to see you.

“I have prior plans.”

—Cancel them and come home. Your father heard something from somewhere, and the atmosphere isn’t good. He says he needs to see you. It’s the first time your father has ever said he wants to see you directly. Are you really going to sever the father-son bond?

“I’m not the one who severed it.”

Woo-jin backed out the car. His car merged into the road, blending into the tail of moving vehicles.

No matter how long they talked on the phone, it would be pointless, and Woo-jin no longer cared what his parents thought of him. He wasn’t working at the Blue House to gain recognition from them, who treated him like a monster, that he was right and had no issues.

—Mom is asking you this. Otherwise, I’ll contact Hae-won. Are you going to keep doing things you hate? Don’t make Mom into someone without common sense.

“……”

—Woo-jin.

“Do as you please. I’m hanging up.”

There was no reason to deceive his mother or seek confirmation that he wasn’t abnormal but closer to normal. He only needed recognition from Hae-won, who loved him as he was. He only needed Hae-won to treat him like a person.

The image of pale Hae-won, flushed red under him in the morning, flickered before his eyes. When he sucked on his skin, the fragile flesh quickly formed red bruises. Woo-jin diligently left his marks on Hae-won in places he couldn’t see.

He wanted to hurry and pick Hae-won up in the car. The eyes that once looked at him with cold, ruthless contempt as if he were trash now gazed at him with something that made his emotionless heart flutter.

Whether it was affection, admiration, or sexual attraction, Woo-jin didn’t know exactly. Only one thing was clear: that feeling was growing stronger over time. Woo-jin wanted to cherish it. Only the love he received from Hae-won made him feel human, and that sense of stability was the only passage that allowed him to breathe.

Woo-jin held the steering wheel with his left hand and fidgeted with his phone with the other. Just as he was about to call Hae-won, a call came in from him. He quickly answered.

“Yes, Hae-won.”

—Hyung, I think I need to go to my father’s house. Are you on your way here now?

“I’m on my way, but why to your parents’ house?”

—My father suddenly called. Right now, my father’s driver and the manager are fighting like crazy. What on earth did you say to the manager to make him like that?

“I told him if anyone lays a hand on you, I’ll cut off one of your manager’s fingers instead.”

—……

“It’s a joke.”

Even though he said it was a joke, Hae-won didn’t respond. A short, deep silence, as if probing, passed.

—I’ll get you a new manager. He says he can’t hand me over to anyone but you. Am I some object? He doesn’t listen to me at all. It’s like he’s decided not to listen. Since he’s my father’s driver, please tell him to let me go.

Hae-won handed the phone to someone. Lee Jin-soo’s urgent voice came through.

—Secretary? This is Lee Jin-soo. What should I do? Hae-won says he’s just going, and that he knows the person, but I can’t trust it. He won’t listen to me. Please help.

Jin-soo explained about someone who had come to pick up Hae-won.

“It’s fine. Hand the phone to Hae-won and go home for the day. Yes, thank you for your hard work. Hae-won, can you take the phone back?”

The phone returned to Hae-won’s hand. A faint, shallow breath was heard.

“Why suddenly from home?”

—I don’t know. I have no idea what’s going on, but he’s really angry. He says he’s going to kill me.

“What did you do?”

—How would I know what I did without seeing his face? Not long ago, he said he was proud I was earning my own living expenses, and today he’s causing a scene like this. Anyway, see you at home later.

He hit the brakes at a traffic signal. Inside the smoothly stopped car, the faint scent of Hae-won’s perfume lingered. He stared blankly at the empty passenger seat where Hae-won usually sat and said,

“I was planning to watch the broadcast together.”

—We can watch the replay, no big deal. I’ll call you when it’s over.

After Hae-won ended the call first, Woo-jin finally lowered his phone. As soon as he placed it on the console, it rang again. It wasn’t Hae-won but his mother. There was no reason to avoid his mother’s call.

“I told you I have prior plans.”

—Do you know how many years it’s been since your father said he wanted to talk to you?

“……”

—He says to have dinner together, so come here. I won’t ask this of you again.

Woo-jin sighed. He turned the steering wheel not toward Hae-won’s officetel but toward his parents’ house.

“I’ll grant your request, Mom, so please grant mine.”

—What is it?

“Delete Hae-won’s number. Promise me you’ll never contact Hae-won again. Then I’ll go.”

—……Am I going to eat Hae-won? Do only you like Hae-won? I like Hae-won too. I’m a fan of Hae-won.

His mother protested, saying such stubbornness was unreasonable.

“I’ll go if you promise.”

Woo-jin lowered his tone, sounding somewhat irritated, and told her not to say things that didn’t make sense.

—Just come first. We’ll talk when you get here. Okay?

“Fine.”

He hung up. He tossed the phone onto the empty passenger seat.

The road was congested. The morning lie about traffic due to an accident had come true in the evening. Trapped among the lined-up cars, Woo-jin’s fingers tapped the steering wheel anxiously. Unable to hide his impatience, he craned his neck to see the rear of the slowly moving car ahead and ran his hand through his hair.

As soon as he broke through the traffic and arrived at his parents’ house, he parked hastily. Getting out of the car, he hurried across the garden and practically ran up to the brightly lit standalone house.

“Are you here now?”

Choi Hyun-mi, who had seen Woo-jin’s car entering the driveway through the window, came out to the front hall in advance to wait for him.

Woo-jin slipped on slippers and quickly walked into the living room. Thinking he was storming in to fight his father, she hurriedly followed him. But Woo-jin wasn’t heading toward the study.

He hastily grabbed the remote control on the living room table and turned on the large TV mounted on the wall.

“What, do you need to watch the news? Did something happen? Did the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs resign?”

“No. It’s almost time for Hae-won’s broadcast. Today is Wednesday Art Stage day. Phew, I almost missed it.”

Woo-jin finally let out a sigh of relief, found the channel airing Wednesday Art Stage, turned it on, and sat on the sofa.

Fortunately, he wasn’t late. He could have watched the replay, but seeing Hae-won live felt more valuable.

Sitting with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his hands, Woo-jin stared at the screen as seriously as if he were hearing news about the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs resigning. He didn’t seem to be in the mood to appreciate the music.

“Oh, Hae-won is on TV? What’s he performing?”

“Mom.”

Woo-jin brought his finger to his lips and gestured for Choi Hyun-mi to be quiet.

“……Oh, sorry.”

Choi Hyun-mi scratched her neck with a slightly awkward expression and sat beside him, also staring at the TV screen.

She glanced at her son.

With a face and gaze so earnest it seemed he might be sucked into the screen at any moment, he was concentrating intently even though Hae-won hadn’t appeared yet.

It seemed the recording was done in a studio without an audience—a small hall that could hardly be called a stage, with just a grand piano and a few chairs placed haphazardly.

Soon, an older-looking female pianist, Hae-won holding a violin, and a cellist walked out together and took their respective seats.

Hae-won was wearing a tight-fitting black knit sweater and dark gray pants. His already pale skin shone even whiter. Warm lighting brightly illuminated Hae-won’s round forehead and flowed down to his shoulders.

“Oh.”

His mother let out a short exclamation. Woo-jin’s lips curled into a dry smirk.

It seemed Hae-won’s appearance evoked admiration even in his mother’s eyes.

How trivial is inner beauty? Some anchor once said that while praising someone’s looks. Watching Hae-won standing on stage playing the violin, even Woo-jin felt his belief that appearance is just a shell waver, and he could understand that statement. His aesthetic sense was just the same as any ordinary human’s.

“Performing with such a master… Hae-won must be a more remarkable violinist than I thought.”

“What, is she famous?”

“You don’t know who she is?”

“Of course not.”

Obviously not. I’ve never seen her before in my life, Woo-jin added with his expression. His mother said something about her. Woo-jin didn’t even listen with half an ear and turned his gaze away. He thought she had gasped because Hae-won was astonishingly beautiful, but it seemed the sound had escaped because she was surprised that the collaborating pianist was world-famous.

Maybe it was because he was watching through a screen.

Hae-won’s physique caught his eye anew. The shape of his long limbs and straight shoulders had quite a masculine line.

Beethoven Piano Trio in Bb Major, Op.97 ‘Archduke’

The title appeared and disappeared at the bottom of the screen. As the pianist pressed the keys, the cello added its voice. Hae-won placed the violin on his shoulder and made eye contact with his fellow performers. Like a round song, Hae-won also drew his bow across the strings. The piano and string sounds, exchanged without a hint of error, came like a conversation between birds.

The light movement of his hand drawing the bow sounded less like an emotional melody and more like a harmony brimming with intellect.

Woo-jin brought the remote and turned up the volume. The plain, somewhat melancholic melody filled the living room. As if nothing existed except Hae-won on the screen, Woo-jin immersed himself entirely in him.

Pressing the violin down with his chin, Hae-won was pouring more sincerity into his performance than ever before.

“He looks so absorbed he might burst into tears any moment. How can someone be so emotionally rich?”

Choi Hyun-mi also spoke as if entranced by Hae-won. Woo-jin offered no evaluation, simply gazing at Hae-won. Though it wasn’t a sad piece, Hae-won’s face, trying to grasp the emotion, looked truly sorrowful.

The emotion filling his small face was a precarious sadness, as if it might crumble, and the bow creating sound as it drew across the strings was itself a giant teardrop. Hae-won’s eyes, sparkling under the lights, seemed damply wet.

Choi Hyun-mi looked at Woo-jin, whose gaze was fixed on Hae-won, unmoving. He was thinking something. His eyes were not observing and calculating, but appreciating.

“He seemed like a bright personality when I saw him before… Hae-won is so serious when he performs. Should I say he becomes a different person?”

Wanting to know how Woo-jin felt about this emotionally saturated performance, Choi Hyun-mi probed subtly. Woo-jin gave no reply, maintaining his silence until the performance ended.

Gradually drawn into the performance, neither Woo-jin nor Choi Hyun-mi spoke to each other. After the piece, over thirty minutes long, ended, the screen changed. Since he said he only did one piece, Hae-won wouldn’t appear again. He turned off the TV screen with the remote.

The living room settled into quiet. As if emerging from the afterglow of the performance, he remained silent for a while. Choi Hyun-mi turned her body towards him, who was just sitting quietly.

“How is it? A beautiful piece, right?”

“Not really.”

Woo-jin replied curtly. He disliked melodies that seemed to appeal to emotion.

“Huh? Why, it’s beautiful? Doesn’t it sound beautiful to you?”

The displeasure of feeling his mother constantly probing and observing him was already secondary. It had been a long time since Woo-jin cared about his mother’s evaluations.

“Do you know what Hae-won thinks about to grasp emotion?”

“What does he think about?”

“He said he imagines breaking up with me. Apparently, that makes empathy work very well.”

“……”

“When I think Hae-won is imagining that again… it’s hard to bear. Why on earth does he think like that?”

Like an immature child ignorant of emotions, Woo-jin asked as if pleading to be told. Choi Hyun-mi couldn’t think of a reply.

“…Because it’s sad?”

“You mean he imagines that to feel sadness?”

Woo-jin asked his mother. No, he argued.

“With that assumption, empathy would work better, right? It feels more realistic.”

“I hate that assumption itself. I’ve warned him many times not to do it because it’s unpleasant, but he says he can’t help it. He says it’s the fastest method, but I just can’t understand…”

His tone turned irritable at this premise he couldn’t and didn’t want to accept. Watching him, Choi Hyun-mi smiled only with her lips.

His mother’s smile further soured his mood. They were whispering among themselves in a language only they knew, with words only they understood. Without ever having conversed about what Woo-jin didn’t know, they sensed and empathized from the very small clues he threw out. They even read unspoken inner thoughts.

As if expecting some satisfying answer, Woo-jin’s eyebrow cocked stiffly as he persistently stared at his mother. Choi Hyun-mi faced Woo-jin and spoke.

“Hae-won is a love expert.”

“……”

“You’re a hothead.”

“…What?”

“You’re an ice-cold hothead.”

“What does that mean?”

“Just know one thing. Hae-won says those things on purpose because he likes you.”

“He imagines us breaking up because he likes me?”

“Just know that. He does all that because he likes you. Because if he said such things, you’d get angry and upset like you are now.”

“……”

His mother was right. When Hae-won said such things, Woo-jin couldn’t hide his anxiety. Sometimes he even got angry. The very imagination and assumption of breaking up was unconditionally unpleasant, whether it happened or not.

It meant Hae-won said those things on purpose because he got angry. To him, who didn’t understand at all, Choi Hyun-mi calmly explained.

“Feelings of affection show in actions too. They say you can’t hide a cough or love.”

“…I wish he’d tell me in words. Specifically, quantify it.”

“He does that. He says how many stars, right?”

She had heard that when Woo-jin asked him to express abstract things, he thought too seriously and couldn’t do that simple thing, so they decided to speak in numbers. Like quantifying the degree of human suffering on a scale of 1 to 10, they also set the degree of affection by count.

That seemed to be their agreement, but Woo-jin spoke as if it drove him crazier.

“Some days he says a hundred, some days minus a thousand, some days two.”

“……”

“Two.”

“……”

“Do you understand?”

It seemed better not to speak in numbers at all. That was more confusing, Woo-jin let out a short sigh.

Whenever he said he hated ignorance, hated talkativeness, hated being bothered, Woo-jin, though clumsy with emotions, was having a truly love-like love.

The rough sincerity of Woo-jin was felt. As far as Choi Hyun-mi knew, this was Woo-jin’s first time liking someone. With Ha-young, it was a contractual relationship, so she thought he would live his whole life without knowing such feelings.

But Woo-jin came to like someone. Even if it was a man, it didn’t matter. To her, Hae-won, who awakened emotions in him and made Woo-jin more human, was only precious and gracious.

Choi Hyun-mi burst out laughing at Woo-jin seriously pondering two stars.

“Let’s have dinner. Your father is waiting.”

With an expression of clear annoyance, Woo-jin stood up with a stiffened face.

“You saw the news about you. Your father liked it. It seems a former opposition party lawmaker who had surgery from your father before asked something about you. They say that side views your image favorably.”

“……”

He listened to her words with an utterly unimpressed look.

The Special Inspection Team of the Anti-Corruption Office monitors high-ranking public officials, and the subjects of monitoring have expanded from ministers/vice-ministers or Grade 1 and above civil servants to all public officials.

Political appointee civil servants can’t help but be conscious of the VIP’s inner thoughts, and they inevitably wonder what kind of inspections are conducted, what intelligence exists.

Woo-jin also received many contacts through various channels. When he ignored them, requests seemed to come to his father and mother.

He was disgusted by politicians and had no plans to enter politics, but he was tired to the point of exhaustion due to the excitement around him. Woo-jin was satisfied with his current work. Given the nature of the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs office, most colleagues working together were lawyers, so for Woo-jin, who pathologically disliked lawyers, that alone was a bit hard to bear, but the work itself was similar to what he had done so far, so it suited him well. He was being careful to avoid media exposure as much as possible.

“Please don’t accept any requests or make promises. I’d prefer not to hear such talk in my ears from now on.”

Though his tone was businesslike, like words to a co-worker rather than to his mother, she showed no displeasure.

“I’ll be careful. I’ll also strongly advise your father.”

Choi Hyun-mi, understanding Woo-jin’s meaning, nodded in agreement.

She knew of her mother’s efforts to somehow bridge the gap between his father and Woo-jin, whose relationship had deteriorated worse than with strangers.

There was a time when he strove to prove himself right, to teach his father, who didn’t acknowledge him, who called him a monster, that it wasn’t so.

He wasn’t exactly denying that fact, but now he had no interest at all.

Apart from briefly encountering his father at his brother’s wedding a few years ago, it had been so long since they faced each other that the memory was distant. Though seeing his father after a long time, Woo-jin felt no emotion or tension.

Saying she would prepare dinner, his mother headed to the kitchen with the helper, and Woo-jin stood before the study door.

Knock knock. He knocked and opened the door. Meeting his father’s eyes, Woo-jin bowed briefly as if greeting a superior.

His biological father, with whom he hadn’t exchanged words for over ten years except for special events, was sitting at the study desk reading a book.

It was a large study filled with all kinds of books, from professional texts to those matching his vast range of hobbies.

As a child, he thought all the books in the world were here. His father’s study was Woo-jin’s playground. All his siblings were brilliant, but Woo-jin’s intellect shone even more from high school. As if intellect filled the place where emotion was lacking, whatever he did, whatever he learned, his acquisition was outstanding.

The only way to protect himself, denied by the world, was to read, learn, and master books filled with all kinds of human characters.

He read many books in this study. The book that taught that a proper person should also know how to resist injustice was also in this study. Woo-jin believed injustice could be controlled. He wanted to prove he wasn’t wrong by controlling injustice.

The familiar smell of paper and ink floated in the air. Woo-jin’s father looked up at him standing by the study desk.

“Sit. The roof won’t collapse.”

“……”

Woo-jin sat in the chair before the desk and faced him.

Wanting his father’s recognition, he desperately applied himself to everything. The reason he spent so much time in his father’s study was likely the same.

He wanted to show that he was the only child who could read through these books, these many books you collected. He also worked hard in his studies. He wanted to receive recognition from his bloodline, to confirm he wasn’t abnormal. It was only after meeting Hae-won that he realized recognition between people isn’t achieved solely through achievements and results.

Seeing Woo-jin’s failure, bearing all the crimes and serving prison time, his biological father finally recognized Woo-jin as a person, as his own flesh and blood. He seemed to realize Woo-jin had changed somewhere.

As they silently just looked at each other, his father placed something thud on the desk. It was a printout. Woo-jin reached out and took the document.

“It seemed to be about you.”

With one eyebrow sharply raised, Woo-jin read the printed content. He showed no surprise or panic, indifferently returning the document to the desk.

“Is this about you?”

“Seems so. D isn’t certain, but E is too clear.”

He replied, ruminating on the phrase ‘outstanding skill and looks, recently gained popularity rivaling celebrities.’ At his indifferent attitude, deep wrinkles formed on the brow of his father, who had been similarly expressionless and stiff.

“He’s a boy?”

“Yes.”

“That decision you made in the first trial, admitting everything… was it because of that boy?”

Woo-jin didn’t answer. His father sank deep into the leather chair, thinking something.

“Did that boy tell you to do it? Admit the crimes and go to prison?”

“Who goes to prison because someone tells them to?”

He was saying something nonsensical.

“You made that decision? You thought it through?”

“It was the best course.”

His father, like a medical scholar, scrutinized Woo-jin’s face with suspicious eyes, as if he couldn’t believe it. Clearly, his biological father still didn’t know that observing him like a test subject, with eyes gleaming with interest, grated on Woo-jin’s nerves.

“I’d like to see that boy once.”

“As you saw, that boy’s popularity is growing daily, so he’s very busy. He has no time to meet you.”

“Afraid I’ll do something to him? Don’t worry about that, bring him. Let me see him once.”

“……”

Like his mother, his father also thought that Woo-jin liking someone, making sacrifices, and acting like a normal person—whether it was a man or the act of going to prison—was better than being a monster. If he thought Woo-jin was sane, he wouldn’t have spoken like that. He would have shown reactions like telling him to break up immediately or resolve it.

Because he is also a father, the one who changed Woo-jin into a more human person is welcome enough that prejudices don’t matter. It’s likely the same context as his mother liking Hae-won.

“I’d like to talk a bit over dinner together.”

“What are you curious about? Are you curious about that boy? Or.”

“……”

“Are you curious if it’s true that I’m seeing someone normally?”

“Both.”

His father admitted honestly.

“Whichever it is, there’s no need to confirm it for you. It’s private life, so please be appropriate. I’ll be going now.”

Woo-jin stood up before he could say more.

He could see the busy figures of his mother and the helper preparing dinner in the kitchen, but he left the house without a word of goodbye.

Refusing the driver’s hand offering to carry his violin, Hae-won adjusted the case strap on his shoulder and went up to his family home. The dark garden, perhaps because flowers hadn’t bloomed yet, gave a desolate feeling.

He opened the front door and entered.

Placing the violin case in its usual spot, Hae-won glanced at his father and stepmother sitting on the living room sofa. Come to think of it, the working helper auntie wasn’t visible. It had already been years since he graduated school, but having watched Hae-won since he was little, the auntie always called him ‘student’ happily whenever she saw him.

“Where did Auntie go?”

“I sent her home early.”

Hae-won’s slippers dragged straight towards the living room sofa. Neither the auntie nor Hae-jeong was visible.

“What about Hae-jeong?”

“She went to English camp. Aren’t you going to say hello?”

“Hello, Stepmother.”

As if to say what’s so great about that greeting, do you want to hear it that much, Hae-won greeted clearly in a sharply cut-off tone. His stepmother nodded, saying hello. Hae-won snorted in disbelief and sat on the sofa.

“Why did you call me? No, why did you drag me here?”

It wasn’t calling, it was dragging.

He had argued, what kind of situation is it to send a subordinate to his workplace and forcibly tell him to come? Only then did he properly look at his father’s face, which was ashen. The only time his face had been that stiff was when he heard his biological mother’s diagnosis.

His father was positive about everything and never took any problem seriously. The secret to his youthful living wasn’t his unceasing flirtatiousness but his lack of maturity even at that age.

“What’s the matter… Don’t tell me you’re sick somewhere, Father? Did the business fail? Is the company closing?”

“You go inside.”

His father said to his stepmother. If it were the usual stepmother, she would have protested, but she obediently got up and went into the bedroom. His atmosphere was that serious.

Only his father and Hae-won were left alone in the large living room.

A meaningful silence flowed. Sitting there not knowing the reason, Hae-won suddenly felt his heart sink with a thud.

“How much time do they say is left? Six months?”

“……”

“Fo-four, three months? Three months?”

Though not particularly fond of his biological father, he was still his father. Startled, Hae-won clenched his trembling fingertips.

“What nonsense. A man who gets a full-body scan every year. Your father quit smoking and drinking last year. Even now, his driver shot goes over three hundred yards. You know even pros struggle to hit three hundred.”

“Then what is it?”

He asked irritably, annoyed that his father was sitting there putting on airs for no reason and scaring people.

Staring intently at Hae-won, his father tightly closed his mouth, opened the drawer of the table beside the sofa, took out some documents, and tossed them forward with a thud.

At his father’s less-than-satisfactory reaction, Hae-won picked up the documents with a bewildered look, wondering what this was all about. His eyes soon widened as he read the tabloid gossip from E and D.

“……”

A chill ran down the back of his neck. It felt like ice was trickling down his spine. He tried to maintain a calm expression, but he couldn’t hide his paling complexion.

His father’s tightly pursed lips, observing him with unusually sharp eyes today, looked heavy, as if he already knew the truth.

Hae-won put down the documents sullenly and turned his head to his father.

“What is this?”

“That’s what I want to ask. What is that?”

“Are you saying this, that the increasingly popular violinist mentioned here, is me? That I’m dating a high-ranking public official? And a man at that?”

“……”

As Hae-won argued incredulously, the suspicion-filled pupils in his father’s eyes wavered for a moment. Hae-won’s eyes were cursing: You’re not saying it out loud, but did you drag me here with all that fuss just to talk this nonsense? Sending people to my workplace? He was determined to deny it all.

Moon Woo-sik, not taking his eyes off Hae-won, not wanting to miss even the smallest gap, picked up his phone and made a call somewhere.

“Manager Kang, come to my house for a moment. Bring the materials I requested a few days ago.”

His father delivered the message in a haughty, ‘see here’ tone and hung up. He also placed the phone on the table next to the documents Hae-won had thrown down with a thud.

Hae-won stared at that phone as if it were a bomb. The Manager Kang his father was calling was a former national judo representative who had worked as a violent crimes detective for over twenty years before being scouted by his father and now served as a fixer in his company.

He was his father’s henchman, handling only dirty, grimy tasks—giving kickbacks to companies, threatening people, making under-the-table deals. His father, who was in the defense industry, needed someone to handle such dirty work.

Hae-won’s eyes blinked rapidly, like a hummingbird’s wings. He argued, asking what on earth this sudden talk was about, but Hae-won wasn’t skilled at lying. His mouth went dry. His Adam’s apple bobbed slightly as he kept swallowing.

Seeing this, Moon Woo-sik realized that what he had feared was true and let out a bitter laugh inwardly.

He was a son who wouldn’t be out of place anywhere. He’d been called a prodigy since childhood. Some expert had said this child had perfect pitch and must pursue music. He had inherited only the best from his mother and himself, possessing looks you wouldn’t mind putting in your eye, and his skills were outstanding enough that it would be an insult to call him second-best in the country.

Currently, he was a soloist with a schedule booked for months and the associate concertmaster (first violin) of Han-gyeong Symphony, Asia’s top orchestra. His concerts sold out, and he’d become known through broadcasts. He was a celebrity. Praise for him was widespread. He was an admirable eldest son who earned and spent his own money.

He had finally thought Hae-won was shining. For Hae-won’s sake, Moon Woo-sik was capable of anything. Hae-jeong’s mother might be hurt to hear it, but the depth of his feelings for Hae-jeong, who was simply cute and pretty, and for his eldest son Hae-won, were fundamentally different.

After sending his sick mother away, Hae-won had become indifferent and powerless towards the world; there was a time he really looked like a doll just breathing. Unlike Hae-jeong, who made him feel good just by looking at her, seeing Hae-won always brought a surge of tender affection first. Hae-won was a sore spot as a child.

Even though he had the talent to become anything, he had seemed about to give up on the violin, making Moon Woo-sik anxious, but now he had finally found sincerity in it. And he had the background of ‘himself’ too.

But dating a man? Absolutely not. It’s something I can never permit. It’s something that absolutely cannot be.

Hae-won’s expression, denying it while unable to hide his anxious heart, became like the baby face Moon Woo-sik had seen in his childhood, carefully looking across at him. He had that same face when his mother was sick.

The fear of that small child, trembling with fear of losing his mother, was faintly superimposed over the face of the now fully grown Hae-won. Back then, as a father, he should have protected Hae-won, but Moon Woo-sik had been immature. He hadn’t been much of a father either. He knew well that Hae-won, disappointed in such a father, disliked him.

Moon Woo-sik’s heart softened. He only knew how to act all high and mighty in the world, but look at him now—fretting, lying, and desperately trying to hide because of someone—a man. As a father, it was pitiful to see.

If they truly deeply like each other… isn’t that just one person liking another?

With the American branch in San Francisco, he had seen enough homosexuals to trip over. Frankly, for a conservative middle-aged man in this country, Moon Woo-sik didn’t have much aversion.

Seeing that selfish, self-centered guy anxious because of someone made him think maybe he really does like him. Hae-won wasn’t the type to worry about or take care of others.

No. Absolutely not. It won’t do. It can’t happen.

Whenever his heart softened, Moon Woo-sik steeled himself.

Hae-won stared intently at him with anxious eyes as he, deep in thought, suddenly started shaking his head vigorously.

“I have to go. But you call people over and don’t even give me dinner? Give me food and then grill me. When are we eating dinner?”

“Don’t change the subject and sit still. Manager Kang will be here soon.”

“Why are you calling him? This isn’t about me. Are there only one or two violinists in Korea? There are over thirty just in our orchestra. How many do you think there are nationwide?”

“You’re talking an awful lot right now, you know.”

“……”

“Sit quietly. Your father’s head is complicated enough as it is.”

He clutched his forehead as if he had a headache.

Hae-won closed his mouth at his father’s disgusted tone.

He couldn’t talk back, saying, You set up two households, had affairs, and even gave me a half-sibling, and without having done anything right yourself, who are you to tell someone to shut up? This isn’t a problem that will end between me and Father. Woo-jin is involved.

According to the tabloid content, he’s a high-ranking official at the Blue House, and if a problem arises, it won’t just end there. The Blue House is a workplace where you have to write a report just for losing an ID card… If it becomes known that he’s a party to such a scandal, Woo-jin might be dismissed.

He was already dismissed from his prosecutor position because of me before, and after that, he even served prison time, trying to earn forgiveness, not letting it end there. I can’t let his career be cut short for such a futile reason now.

Unconsciously, Hae-won clasped his hands together and started picking at the skin beside his nails, and his legs trembled so much that Moon Woo-sik could feel the vibration through the floor.

How much longer did he wait?

Despite praying for him to get into an accident and die on the way, Manager Kang, whom he’d only seen once as a child and never since, appeared. He was still a threateningly large man.

Manager Kang walked over to the father and son sitting facing each other on the living room sofa. He was holding some kind of file. Hae-won’s pupils shook noisily as he stared at it.

“Manager Kang. Recite who that bastard is.”

Moon Woo-sik said gloomily. Because he couldn’t believe it, because it was unbelievable, he had already instructed Manager Kang to investigate Woo-jin’s background to see for himself. Manager Kang opened the file without hesitation and spoke without holding back.

“His name is Hyun Woo-jin, age thirty-seven. He currently works as the Anti-Corruption Secretary in the Office of the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs at the Blue House. He is six years older than Hae-won.”

“I’m not curious how many years older that bastard is than our Hae-won.”

“My apologies.”

The Anti-Corruption Secretary in the Office of the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs is just below the vice-minister level.

They’re usually brought in from the prosecution; considering his age of thirty-seven, it was an exceptional appointment. Just looking at the former secretary, it was a case of someone who worked as a judge for over twenty years before being selected as secretary. Among the three inspection teams said to be in the Office of the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs, the Anti-Corruption Secretary’s Office wielded the greatest influence.

“…He’s not just any high-ranking official.”

“Thanks to that, this was the first time I had to conduct an investigation this cautiously.”

“Continue.”

Moon Woo-sik grimaced with a heavy expression and closed his eyes.

“He graduated from Seoul National University College of Law, passed the bar exam while enrolled, and graduated second in his class from the Judicial Research and Training Institute. His institute grades were top-tier, but there are claims that the valedictorian at the time was the second son of the then Minister of Justice, and that his grades were questionable.”

“So this bastard was first?”

He glanced at Manager Kang and asked cynically.

“That seems to be the case.”

“…Well, he’d need to be at least that level to even try matching up with our Hae-won. I spent a ridiculous amount of money back then to get Hae-won into SNU.”

Memories came flooding back of mobilizing every means money could buy to get Hae-won into Seoul National University—famous professor lessons, tens-of-millions-won ‘Chongmyeong’ tonics, hundreds-of-millions-won hired entrance exam coordinators, and even before buying the Guadanini, Hae-won’s instruments cost hundreds of millions. Only someone like me could push a child into music; it’s art, something even well-off families, let alone ordinary ones, can’t handle, he had realized back then.

“This bastard probably didn’t get in with money, and being SNU Law and institute valedictorian means he seems smart. Okay on academic background. No good! You know what I mean? No good!”

His father, who had been listening without saying a word, suddenly pointed a finger at Hae-won and shouted, and also yelled at Manager Kang. Manager Kang just nodded once without a word.

“After being appointed as a prosecutor, he worked only in key positions: Eastern District Prosecutors’ Office, Western District Prosecutors’ Office, Central District Prosecutors’ Office Criminal Division, and then as the Senior Prosecutor in the Special Investigation Division. The cases he led back then, you’d probably recognize even if you heard them now. He was very famous as a ‘special investigations expert’… He had a knack for grilling people until they were in tatters once he started questioning; he was exceptional in that regard. They say even rough special investigation team members were like dough in his hands. Some were even a few classes senior to him as prosecutors.”

“Who said they wanted to hear stories about how famous that bastard was?”

When Manager Kang subtly added his personal opinion, his father shouted.

Manager Kang seemed to like Woo-jin. He kept adding words to plant a positive image of Woo-jin in the disgusted father, and the father, noticing, glared at him.

Hearing about Woo-jin for the first time, Hae-won pretended not to care but pricked up his ears. He knew he wasn’t an ordinary person, but the man he was hearing about through others’ evaluations was so different from the person he knew, just like the Woo-jin he saw on the news. Somehow, his heart raced. He wanted to call him right then and ask, Is this you, Hyung? but he was barely holding back.

Unlike his father, who glared, telling him not to insert personal opinions, Hae-won looked at Manager Kang with expectation, hoping he’d talk more about Woo-jin.

“On top of that, he was known as the face of the prosecution, a handsome man, and was a talent being groomed internally as a future Prosecutor General candidate.”

Ah, of course. The face of the prosecution—Senior Choi had said that too.

Regarding his appearance, Hae-won shared their opinion. He still vividly remembered the day he first saw him. The breathless exchange of glances in the swimming pool locker room also came to mind. Hae-won had never in his life glanced at or stolen looks at anyone. But back then, every time their eyes met, he felt like he was stealing glances at him and being caught, his heart tightening.

“Hmm… I did see that bastard’s face on the news. His looks, well. Our Hae-won is much more handsome. No good! I clearly said I won’t allow it! Manager Kang, why do you keep making unnecessary remarks and unsettling people?”

Moon Woo-sik, intrigued by his words, muttered to himself, then shouted ‘No good!’ again.

“Then, the year before last, he was indicted on charges of illegal surveillance and illegal investigation. You must have heard, sir, but he’s the prosecutor who became a topic of conversation for using a ‘drowning ghost’ tactic, sacrificing himself by going to prison to catch the people he was investigating. You saw it on the news, right? High-ranking prosecutors, the honorary chairman of K-One, they went in one after another.”

“That one who went to prison? That’s him?”

He asked, startled. Moon Woo-sik knew about that case too. He remembered it as a case that resonated with him, thinking, To catch those with extraterritorial rights, you need to make sacrifices like that; there really are such splendid, justice-filled prosecutors.

That bastard is that bastard?

“Yes, that’s him. He was released on a special pardon last winter and is currently serving as the Anti-Corruption Secretary in the Office of the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs at the Blue House, overseeing the prosecution. He’s the number one target for courting by both political parties.”

“…No good. No matter how impressive his facade or how outstanding he is, no good.”

Moon Woo-sik shook his head, muttering ‘absolutely not.’ Back then, the media had talked non-stop about Woo-jin, so even someone as uninterested in news as him couldn’t not know.

Listening to Manager Kang’s explanation, Hae-won felt anew how amazing Woo-jin was. He was clearly a considerably outstanding person. The man who, when you got to know him properly, made you say ‘crazy’ automatically, who became seriously stiff all day after getting two stars, and the man Manager Kang was describing were the same person.

Hanging onto that man’s back while he did the dishes and fiddling with his genitals was Hae-won’s joy. Hae-won liked Woo-jin’s back. His heart had first wavered at that broad back radiating warm body heat. His tall, sturdy back was as reliable as a giant tree standing firm to protect him from Lee Jin-young, and it had a dependable solidity that seemed like it would take responsibility for anything. Rubbing his face against the wide back and touching his genitals made his body tingle and gently released the stress accumulated all day.

“Privately? What about privately? His private life? Wasn’t anything investigated? Any dirty stuff?”

“……”

Manager Kang, having finished investigating that part too, looked at Hae-won. Woo-jin had a lot of dirty parts. Hae-won flinched and straightened his back. He pleaded with his eyes for Manager Kang not to give unnecessary reports, but Manager Kang pretended not to notice and lowered his gaze to the documents.

“His father is the director of a university hospital, and his mother is the head of the Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine Department at the same hospital. All family members are specialists. Maternal side, paternal side, all of them.”

“His father is a university hospital director? Prosecutor and doctor… it’s a family of frauds. Life is really convenient when you have at least one prosecutor or doctor in the family. Because not everything can be solved with just money. Before, when I was investigated and went through such things, I saw that having just lawyers wasn’t enough. Money, we have, so in-laws from that side would be good. Especially when you’re sick, you definitely need connections at the hospital.”

His father spoke, nodding his chin as if agreeing with something. Manager Kang shook his head side to side as if to say that was naive talk.

“Current Secretary Hyun is one of the major shareholders of Han-gyeong Group and possesses… more assets than you, sir.”

“What? More than me? He has more money than me? This bastard?”

“Hyung?”

This was news to him. Hae-won, startled, asked Manager Kang. He had sensed he was a man of considerable means since he had a penthouse in his own name, but he had said that due to the enormous amount of restitution he had to spit out at the time, he lost most of what he had. To Hae-won, who told him to just leave, to get lost whenever they fought, he begged for sympathy, acting pitiful, saying he had nowhere to go if he opened his mouth.

Remembering Woo-jin’s words asking if he knew how much his own assets were, Hae-won’s heart raced fast. I shouldn’t have told him to get a job. I should have told him to just keep supporting me from behind. Somehow, his lips kept twitching.

“Yes. He’s a major shareholder of Han-gyeong Group. He was an outside director but resigned when he entered the Blue House. He was also once engaged to the daughter of the Han-gyeong Group’s chairman.”

“He was engaged? Married?”

He asked sharply, startled, demanding if that was true.

That damn bastard, that rotten bastard, he was engaged, has someone to marry, and with my child?!

His fiercely widened eyes fixed on Manager Kang. Manager Kang answered in a soft voice to reassure him.

“The fiancée passed away quite some time ago. Since then, nothing is known about his private life.”

“Now?!”

While asking the question to Manager Kang, Moon Woo-sik looked at Hae-won with a severely reproachful gaze. If the investigation had gone that far, it meant they already knew all about the relationship with Hae-won too.

Hae-won finally let out a small sigh. Still, it was less flustering than dealing with Ms. Choi Hyun-mi, who had said she knew he had a special relationship with her son.

“As of now, it matches the tabloid report. The agency already knows, and the reporters know too, but the atmosphere is such that they can’t recklessly touch the current secretary. They say he has an enormous amount of leverage over high-level figures, from corruption to videos, dating back to his time as a prosecutor. They say he’s a ticking time bomb, so they’re keeping it hush-hush.”

Objectively speaking, just as a human being, he was so perfect that being in a relationship with someone like him would be an honor for the Moon family.

Hae-won had long stopped listening to whatever his father was ranting about and was newly realizing the fact that this relationship with him would bring no benefit to him.

“If a tabloid report circulated, wouldn’t the whole nation know? And you’re saying they’re keeping it hush-hush? That? You stop that Instagram or whatever too.”

“I’m not the one doing it; the manager is.”

There was an SNS account, an official company account managed by the manager, posting brief updates and photos of Hae-won. The follower count, which Hae-won had once lied was over a hundred thousand, had now grown to tens of thousands.

They were people who specifically sought him out, curious for news and updates.

Didn’t they already know everything?

As that thought brushed through Hae-won’s mind, in that moment, they felt not like fans but like enemies.

His father’s words made sense. If such a tabloid report had circulated, it meant anyone who should know already did. His heart grew cold at his father’s rational suspicion.

“It seems the current secretary strongly responded to a reporter’s approach, provoking them. It looks like it was deliberately leaked to give them a hard time.”

“……Hyung knows about this?”

Hae-won asked, stunned by Manager Kang’s words.

“Of course.”

“…….”

The finger that had been hysterically picking at the skin beside the nail stopped. The leg that had been shaking nervously also stopped moving. Hae-won looked down at his finger, red and wounded.

“Bring that bastard here.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it myself.”

“Hae-won.”

“Stop interfering so much. Whether I date a man or a woman, it’s my business to handle. Did I ever interfere when you set up two households, had an affair with Gao Ling? You hurt me, Hae-jeong, and Stepmother, but I’ve never hurt anyone.”

Each word and tone from Hae-won stabbed at him painfully. As a father, even with ten mouths, he had nothing to say.

Moon Woo-sik gloomily squeezed his eyes shut and then opened them. Hae-won’s reproach was a hundred percent justified, but the ways of the world were not that simple. And he wasn’t trying to argue about guilt or innocence.

“……Listen to me. Right now, you’re getting attention and recognition. If this, if such a thing becomes known, if it becomes known that it’s you, your entire career is finished.”

“I don’t play the violin to be recognized by others. I do it because I like it. There’s nothing to be finished.”

Though he understood his father’s concern, Hae-won spoke coldly. Persuading his father was a secondary thought in his mind. Only worry for Woo-jin was digging deeper.

It wasn’t just his own name that was known. Woo-jin had just set foot in the political world. He was doing work he liked and was good at. The fear and dread that this could collapse, that such a thing could happen because of him, rapidly stimulated Hae-won’s heartbeat.

The first time, he ruined him because he hurt him, because he used him without love, but the second time, there would be no justification.

Rather, because Woo-jin reacted strongly to the reporter out of fear that something might happen to Hae-won, the situation escalated. And he had even paid off the manager to stick close to Hae-won, ostensibly for surveillance but actually to guard and protect him.

He already knew everything.

“How can you stop it, Father. They’re reporters, so meet them and try to do something somehow.”

Hae-won’s voice lowered. It sounded choked, trembling.

Moon Woo-sik, who had been intently staring at the table where the tabloid lay, suddenly looked up and fixed his gaze on Hae-won.

“But wait, is that bastard the prosecutor who summoned me before?”

“…….”

“I was out of my mind then, so I don’t remember well, but is it that guy?”

Moon Woo-sik, who had been thinking something, asked Hae-won, and when Hae-won didn’t answer, he looked at Manager Kang. Manager Kang gave a short nod. He slammed his fist down on the armrest he had been leaning on.

“That arrogant bastard was this guy?! Hae-won, you bring him here right now! Bring that son of a bitch before me right now!”

“The person who got you released was him too. If you’re confident you’re clean enough that not a speck of dust will fly, then call Hyung.”

He had said he would make Hae-won crawl on all fours. But with his father and stepmother detained, there was no choice. He had no option but to cling to him and beg.

Perhaps it was an excuse. If it hadn’t been like that, he wouldn’t have been able to start with him. The time he spent waiting endlessly for him in front of his officetel came to mind like a memory.

“Hyung? This is now blatant homosexuality! Even if dirt fills my eyes, I can’t bear to see that sight. You go to Switzerland right now. Go to the best hotel among Uncle Jang-seok’s hotels, play and eat there, and come back when things quiet down. I won’t leave that prosecutor bastard alone either, and I’ll crush all those reporter bastards.”

Every time his father shouted, a splitting headache struck his forehead. Hae-won pressed hard on his temples.

“Wait, come to think of it, is this the guy you asked me to get a job for last time? The shameless one who said something about being a prosecutor, a team leader level, demanding a salary of about a billion won?”

“…….”

“Was it since then? Have you been doing this homosexuality since then?”

Moon Woo-sik’s voice trembled with anger.

“I’ve been doing it since I was seventeen.”

At the brazen reply, he looked on the verge of foaming at the mouth, grabbing the back of his neck. Seeing his father, speechless, pounding his chest with his fist, Manager Kang moved swiftly to fetch cold water. He gulped down the cold water and shouted.

“You damn homosexual bastard!”

“Give me a glass too.”

Hae-won made a gesture of covering his ears and requested in a weary tone. Manager Kang brought another glass of cold water. Hae-won also gulped it down.

He wished it were a dream. Hae-won put down the empty glass and covered his face with both hands as if having a terrible nightmare. He rubbed his face repeatedly. The rough skin of his face painfully scraped against his palms, but nothing was resolved.

“Block it with money. Whether Manager Kang feeds them money, locks them up and scares them, beats them up, do whatever it takes to block it. If something happens to Woo-jin Hyung this time too……, because of me, if something happens because of me again…….”

Woo-jin had such a brilliant career that even his father, who absolutely could not tolerate homosexuality, flinched and became intrigued upon hearing his background. The one who caused that to be shattered and sent him to prison was himself. Because he hadn’t known Woo-jin would react that strongly. He hadn’t known he would abandon everything because of him. Until then, Hae-won hadn’t known Woo-jin’s true feelings.

“Or, if that’s not possible, say it’s a lie. That Woo-jin Hyung and I aren’t in that kind of relationship. Sue for defamation. Call Attorney Park. Sue all these bastards right now. Sue them and declare that it’s not true, that we have no relationship, that should do it.”

A confused voice pleaded. Even during Ye-won’s entrance exam, he was a child who didn’t bat an eye and completed the marathon before those strict professors.

Hae-won panicking, rambling incoherently, being at a loss and flustered—it was a sight even his father was seeing for the first time.

“The tabloid has names, has details. What are you going to sue with?”

“Make sure nothing happens to Hyung, Father, do something about it! Don’t you even have that much ability?”

“Why should I take care of that bastard? It’s hard enough taking care of my own kid. That guy who supposedly holds a ton of high-level corruption leverage will take care of himself.”

“…….”

“So don’t meet him. It’s not just a problem of you being disgraced. He seems to have a bright future ahead, but you’ll ruin his life too.”

“…….”

“You’ll ruin him because of you. He’s one of the civil affairs secretaries, and he’s so much younger. Is that a position just anyone gets? It’s a core position even among key Blue House posts.”

Moon Woo-sik immediately sensed what Hae-won was worried about. He touched Hae-won’s anxiety. The selfish Hae-won, who only cared about himself, was afraid that someone might suffer because of him. The feeling of liking—that seemed genuine.

Hae-won, who lost his mother young and never leaned on anyone emotionally. The sincerity he had closed off then, not showing it to anyone, especially not to his own father, was trembling incongruously out of fear that that guy might come to harm because of him.

Moon Woo-sik’s mouth felt bitter.

“If there are any contracts, I’ll call Attorney Park and cancel them all, so for the time being, don’t appear on broadcasts and go to Uncle Jang-seok’s hotel as I said and rest. You liked Switzerland, didn’t you? It’ll quiet down soon.”

“…….”

“In that world, even fake registrations that everyone does, when they surface, the newspapers and broadcasts tear into them all day long, giving utter disgrace. Why do you think they’re so afraid of confirmation hearings they’d refuse ministerial positions? Homosexuality isn’t illegal, but in this country, it’s emotionally unacceptable. Even I, who’ve seen many men kissing on the streets of San Francisco, would go crazy thinking you’re like that, but fine, you’re an artist. But that guy is a civil affairs secretary.”

“…….”

“Break up.”

“…….”

“If you really like him, huh? Hae-won. If you really love him, letting go for that person’s sake……, that kind of courage is needed too.”

It was as if he were seeing it for the first time since childhood. Tears welled up in Hae-won’s eyes, which had been blankly listening, and fell drop by drop onto his cheeks. Moon Woo-sik clutched his forehead, leaned his weight against the sofa back, and let out a pained groan.