9 – Chapter 9 Part 2

I could understand Hae-won’s insistence on this bed. The prison floor was so hard it hurt his protruding bones. He had spent a year tossing and turning in such a place.

His body, which had grown accustomed to the hard floor, now felt unfamiliar with the soft touch of the mattress and bedding that gently supported his weight. Combined with the body scent that lulled his consciousness, Woo-jin didn’t want to get up even though he was already awake.

He lay there stubbornly, gazing out the window as dawn broke hazily. Then, as if sensing the unfamiliar presence lying beside him, Hae-won stirred.

Woo-jin closed his eyes and subtly relaxed the arm draped across Hae-won’s chest.

Hae-won opened his eyes with a small groan, looked at the arm resting on his chest, and turned his head.

Woo-jin’s face, sound asleep, was right beside him. He was leaning toward Hae-won, one arm resting on his chest as he slept.

While Hae-won lay beside him, agonizing over whether to forgive or reject him for his heavy sins, Woo-jin slept peacefully and sweetly, making a mockery of his worries.

It was infuriating to see. He wanted to kick him. But somehow, his posture seemed pitiful. Curled up on his side, he timidly placed his arm on Hae-won’s chest and kept rubbing his cheek against the soft bedding as if in his sleep.

Hae-won glared at him resentfully before slipping out of bed. He retrieved his phone from where he’d tossed it. With ease, he aimed the phone at the sleeping Woo-jin, raised it, and turned on the camera. He brushed back the hair that had fallen over his forehead and nose and snapped photos of the sleeping Woo-jin.

Click, click.

He captured Woo-jin’s face on his phone, as if he’d returned from prison having only studied pitiful poses. After taking his fill, a faint sigh escaped him. Now he had something to look at when he wanted to see him. He didn’t regret throwing away the phone that held his voice and photos, but he felt a slight regret at not being able to see them whenever he wanted.

As he stared irritably at the deeply sleeping Woo-jin and brought the phone close to his face for one last shot, Woo-jin’s eyes snapped open. Hae-won froze like a stone.

“……Could you close your eyes again? Want to take more? Should I take my clothes off?”

Woo-jin, staggering as he got up, stripped off his top. Leaning on the bed with just his elbows, he looked at Hae-won with a disheveled appearance. Hae-won subtly lowered his phone. Acting as if he hadn’t been taking photos of him, he fiddled with his phone as if he had other business.

“No messages yet.”

“Weren’t you taking pictures of me? It’s fine. Take more. Obsess over me.”

“I don’t need to.”

Hae-won fled into the bathroom.

Though he wanted to linger, Woo-jin also sprang up from the bed.

Because Hae-won was lying beside him, in his arms, he couldn’t sleep late. Though he hadn’t slept deeply, he wasn’t particularly tired.

Hae-won’s scent wafted through the air, and his warmth was palpable. All the things he had missed so much, all the things he had longed to recover, were here.

As usual, Woo-jin brewed coffee.

He ground the beans, put them in the machine, and poured water. The coffee scent he smelled every morning in Hae-won’s officetel was also one of the things he had missed.

The bathroom door opened, and Hae-won emerged after showering, damp with moisture.

Hae-won neatly tied the knot of his bathrobe in front of his waist and asked Woo-jin, who was staring at him intently, with a wary look in his eyes.

“What?”

“Just curious.”

“Don’t they bathe in prison?”

“It’s hard to believe that Moon Hae-won, fresh out of a shower, is real and not just my imagination.”

He reluctantly tore his gaze away. Hae-won shook his head, his face as refreshing as unripe fruit freshly dipped in cold stream water.

Woo-jin asked kindly.

“Want some coffee?”

“…….”

Hae-won walked over with heavy steps and picked up the mug Woo-jin had set down. He took a sip of the hot coffee.

Only then did Woo-jin go into the bathroom to wash up.

Listening to the sound of his shower, Hae-won stood blankly and finished his coffee.

Woo-jin emerged from the bathroom again, wearing only a towel around his waist, water droplets falling as he approached. He tried to take the half-finished coffee from Hae-won. Hae-won snatched the mug back from his hand, refusing.

“If you want to drink, brew your own.”

“I want to do it like this. Just like before.”

“Like a clueless fool?”

“…….”

“Like a doll you like, laughing haha hoho?”

“Hae-won.”

“What.”

“……Sigh. Let’s stop.”

There was so much pent-up emotion that it would take just as much time to unravel.

He was confident in enduring. He could wait, and even if the pent-up emotions were too much to ever unravel, well, it didn’t matter. As long as he was by his side. It was fine even if Hae-won treated him like trash and ignored him.

In his naked state, he ground the beans and brewed coffee. He inhaled the coffee scent spreading through the air as if savoring it. As he waited for the coffee to drip, a finger poked Woo-jin’s back.

Hae-won, without making eye contact, stared at Woo-jin’s back and spoke.

“We need to go grocery shopping. There’s nothing to eat at home.”

“I was planning to go later. Want to go together?”

“Hyung’s clothes……, there aren’t any. I threw them all away.”

“I know. I need to buy some clothes too.”

“……I’m sorry.”

Hae-won said in a subdued voice.

“What are you sorry for?”

“For getting angry for no reason, for picking fights for no reason. For acting resentful even after deciding to forgive you.”

“I’m fine, so do as you please. You can even hit me until you feel better.”

“Who says things like that.”

“Want to hit me? Want to give me a good, refreshing hit?”

“……No. It’s a waste. How could I hit this face.”

The eyes that had been staring at Woo-jin’s back rose to his face. The marks from Hae-won’s actions last night were clear on Woo-jin’s cheek. The palm print from the slap was distinct, and the scratch from the ring was even more vivid after washing.

“Hurting and then healing, you really are something. Just pick one.”

As Woo-jin turned to drink the finished coffee, Hae-won hugged him from behind. Rubbing his forehead against Woo-jin’s bare back, Hae-won’s lips made a soft sound as he kissed his shoulder.

Woo-jin flinched, ticklish. Water droplets from his wet hair trickled down his neck.

“You seem thinner.”

“Really?”

“……Was it very hard?”

“What.”

“There……, prison.”

“Ah, well. It was just……, like that.”

Woo-jin almost said it was hard out of habit, wanting to burden Hae-won’s heart, but stopped. He had decided not to lie.

From the moment he gripped the iron pipe and felt the metallic sensation throughout his body, he had sensed that everything about him would shatter, so the resulting prison wasn’t particularly painful or difficult.

Though he had changed his means and methods to get what he wanted, he had never given up on his goal. He had never let go of his desires. Abandoning everything and losing it all was just another way to have Hae-won.

“What did you do there?”

“Read books, exercised……, tended to plants, folded shopping bags. Attended worship and read the Bible.”

“But you were confined. Wasn’t it hard?”

“If I’d been there another year, it would have been hard. Because you got me out, I could endure. I could bear it up to that point.”

Woo-jin turned to Hae-won. Hae-won, who had done nothing wrong, looked at him with apologetic eyes as if Woo-jin had gone to prison because of him.

“I lost track of time reflecting.”

“Do you know what reflection is?”

“I don’t know what it is, but I know what regret is. I regretted it the whole time.”

“…….”

“One day, you were on TV. But…….”

Again, ‘but.’ He was trying to refute something. Whether it was a refutation of it not being hard or of reflecting and regretting, he was again trying to refute and not admit it.

Hae-won tensely waited for his words.

“On your hand……, this was on.”

“…….”

“I can’t describe how I felt then. It was a very strange feeling.”

Woo-jin touched the ring on Hae-won’s left hand. That day, he couldn’t even hear Hae-won’s performance. Every time the ring on his long fingers, busily moving across the fingerboard, sparkled under the lights, he felt an emotion he had never experienced before. It was comfort and solace. It was overwhelming joy. It wasn’t an end but a beginning.

“Where’s the other one?”

At Woo-jin’s question, Hae-won pointed somewhere. Where Hae-won pointed, there was only the refrigerator.

“Where.”

“There.”

“Here?”

It was the refrigerator. Woo-jin opened it. There was nothing resembling a ring or a small box that could hold a ring. Rolling around in Hae-won’s refrigerator were soda cans of unknown vintage and two apples that had lost their moisture.

Hae-won approached, opened the freezer compartment, and unexpectedly pulled out an ice tray. The ring was embedded in the hard, frozen ice crystals.

It was absurd. He alternated his gaze between the square ice and Hae-won.

“I thought about throwing it away, but since it was expensive, I kept it. To sell later.”

“I thought it was in your violin case. This is completely unexpected.”

“Who knew whose hand it would end up on and when.”

He pulled out the ice with the ring embedded. Woo-jin brought the ice to Hae-won’s lips. Hae-won, unable to take his eyes off him, slowly opened his mouth.

The ice slipped inside. One cheek bulged out. Woo-jin grabbed Hae-won’s cheek, which was diligently rolling and melting the ice, tilted his head, and suddenly leaned in.

Hae-won closed his eyes. Their lips met, and a hot tongue pushed into the cold mouth. Hae-won’s hand gripped his bare shoulder.

“Mmm…….”

A ticklish moan escaped between their lips. The hot tongue licked Hae-won’s mucous membrane along with the ice. The ice crystals gradually melted. The pieces slowly grew smaller. The throat swallowing the melting water and saliva busily gulped. As they rubbed their tongues together, at some point, a cold metal ring brushed past.

Woo-jin pulled his lips away. The ring was caught on the tip of Hae-won’s tongue. Hae-won took the ring out of his mouth.

“How did you know it was in the car?”

Though he had bought it and buried it in the car, trying to forget its existence, it was an object that, every time he gripped the steering wheel, remained in the corner without losing its presence, grating on Woo-jin’s nerves. He had deliberately placed it deeper, making it impossible to find without determined searching.

Woo-jin stared blankly for a moment at the shiny metal taken from Hae-won’s mouth.

“Hyung got into an accident while driving your car.”

“What?”

At the word ‘accident,’ his eyes turned fierce. Without even knowing what kind of accident it was, he first got angry, asking who did it.

“I rear-ended you.”

“Were you hurt?”

“You ask quickly.”

He fiddled with Hae-won’s fingers over something that happened a year ago. He stroked the long, flexible fingers.

“When I took it in for repairs, I got what was in the car, and it was there.”

Hae-won grabbed Woo-jin’s left hand. Unlike his own, the knuckles were rough and thick.

Was it like this before?

Was it this rough before?

He had suffered for a year in a bleak and harsh place. Hae-won carefully fiddled with his fingers and slipped the ring onto his fourth finger.

Woo-jin and Hae-won stared for a long time at the rings shining on each other’s hands.

When buying them, they hadn’t considered it. They hadn’t imagined it would take this long to place them on each other’s hands, that they would have to make so many sacrifices.

It was the final piece, barely completed. Woo-jin washed his face as if tired. The past, with its uncontrollable acceleration, felt like a lie. The steep rise and dizzying fall happened too suddenly, almost simultaneously, so even though it was his own doing, Woo-jin couldn’t gather his senses and had to be pushed along by instinct.

Though he didn’t want to admit it, his instinct desperately wanted Hae-won. It wasn’t that he had a goal to achieve through Hae-won. Moon Hae-won himself was the goal and purpose.

Woo-jin shifted his gaze with the face of a first love that seemed impossible to attain. Hae-won, who had been staring at the ring on Woo-jin’s hand, felt his gaze and looked up.

“Don’t take it off.”

Woo-jin asked him to keep it on his hand forever.

“Actually, I was going to take it off because it gets in the way when I play.”

It was something he had bought for me, who offered no benefit except my body, because he, who didn’t know what emotions were, wanted to assign some meaning to our relationship. Hae-won knew he was clumsy in that regard.

“Even if it’s uncomfortable, don’t take it off.”

“It really gets in the way when I move my fingers. Why did you buy such a thick one?”

Hae-won grumbled, asking if this was the only choice, if he didn’t know what his profession was. He placed his fingers on the fingerboard and moved them quickly as if playing, then looked at Woo-jin, saying it still got in the way and asking what he was going to do about it.

“Just keep it on anyway. It looked pretty.”

“…….”

“All I could see was your hand sparkling.”

Woo-jin couldn’t take his eyes off Hae-won’s hand. He had thought it would suit his hand perfectly, that it would stand out and sparkle more because Hae-won had beautiful hands, and he was right. On stage, the most sparkling thing was Hae-won’s hand.

Though it was merely a shiny metal with no binding power, seeing it on Hae-won’s hand filled a corner of his heart with relief. Woo-jin was newly surprised that he had only wanted such simple stability.

“Hyung, don’t take it off either. Don’t take it off in front of Choi Hyun-mi. Don’t ever take it off in front of Seo Okhwa.”

“Even if someone cuts off my finger, I won’t take it off.”

The man he had wanted to kill with hatred, the man who knew nothing about love, confessed his love in this way. He couldn’t hate or resent him.

It wasn’t that he was two-faced; he became a different person in a minute’s difference. He was terrifyingly scary and then terrifyingly gentle; extreme fear and extreme ecstasy coexisted. That was Hyun Woo-jin. The person Hae-won loved.

Since meeting him, Hae-won’s heart had never been whole. New flesh grew and was torn away, crushed and recovered, and now it trembled like it had just been born.

The pupils of Hae-won, who loved him, shimmered.

“Tell me how many stars’ worth you love me.”

“…….”

“Tell me in numbers of stars. How much you love me.”

He still had the appearance Hae-won liked. But now he knew that this confident and arrogant appearance wasn’t due to overflowing self-esteem but rather an ignorance of emotions that forced him to ask directly.

“How many.”

“How many do you want it to be?”

“I’m abnormal, so if you say it like that, I won’t understand.”

“Who said you’re abnormal?”

He let out an absurd sigh.

“It was you. The only person who outright called me abnormal.”

“I was angry and said whatever came to mind then.”

“So how many? A hundred?”

“……A hundred.”

“…….”

“A hundred times a hundred. Multiply that by a hundred.”

At Hae-won’s reply, his expression grew serious. As Hae-won was about to add ‘multiply by a hundred’ again, he spoke.

“That’s similar to mine.”

He struggled with abstract numbers. That was the best emotional expression Woo-jin could manage. Hae-won nodded. Standing on his toes, he kissed his lips.

They had to buy clothes and groceries. As they were preparing to go out, his phone rang. Hae-won took out his phone from his coat pocket. It was an unknown number, but a known one. The number with only digits matched the vaguely remembered number of Choi Hyun-mi. Hae-won didn’t answer.

“Who is it?”

Seeing Hae-won reject the call, Woo-jin asked.

“I heard you were kicked out of home.”

“I was kicked out a long time ago. Kicked out emotionally.”

“Did you by any chance call Choi Hyun-mi? Did you not go home?”

“……Who, Mother?”

Woo-jin’s brow furrowed—good things didn’t show on his face, but he couldn’t hide displeasure at all.

After ignoring the first call, the ringtone sounded again. Hae-won sighed and looked down at the phone in his hand.

“Don’t answer.”

“I won’t.”

“Mother didn’t just drug you for no reason. She’s quite high-level.”

“Is that something to say about your own mother?”

“From now on, don’t contact Mother.”

“Did she come to you as soon as you got out?”

“Where else would I go? I have nowhere else.”

“If Choi Hyun-mi finds out you came straight to me, she might really be hurt. It’s too much, even for you. I heard you didn’t even have a single family visit.”

“You’re not seeing them either, so why should I see those people…….”

“……”

As Hae-won pressed his lips tightly together and stared down at him with a high-handed gaze, Woo-jin’s eyebrows twitched. He was thinking about what he had done wrong.

“That……, I should see my family, right?”

“I’ll contact you later. Don’t tell them you came straight to me.”

“Didn’t you tell me not to lie?”

“Don’t lie to me. Words that don’t hurt Ms. Choi Hyun-mi’s feelings aren’t lies. There are white lies, you know.”

“I’ve been telling you white lies all this time too. If I had been honest, you would have been horrified and run away.”

“Why would I run away? I’ll understand whatever you say, so don’t lie to me. I really hate it. I really, really hate it.”

Hae-won shuddered as he recalled the lies and deception Woo-jin had committed. He didn’t want to fall into a situation where he could never trust him again. It wasn’t just Woo-jin who was suffering; it was painful for Hae-won too. It was a time that hurt, as if his heart was shattering into pieces and a sledgehammer was crushing what was already broken. He didn’t even want to look back.

“Be completely honest?”

“Tell me everything honestly.”

He sternly warned him never to lie. Woo-jin, looking rather worried, asked instead.

“Can you handle it?”

“Of course I can handle it.”

“I want to have sex.”

“Now? We have to go.”

“Not just now, but I want to roll around in bed for three or four days without moving. I want Moon Hae-won to suck my dick. I want to put it in your mouth and come. Of course, you have to swallow it all. Not a single drop.”

“……”

“If you don’t like that, I want to come inside you. I want to come and then piss inside you. Do you know about that?”

“……What?”

“It doesn’t have to be inside, either. I wouldn’t mind if you let me come on your ass.”

“……”

“I was honest. Are all of those possible?”

“……You wanted to do those things?”

“I told you I’m good at holding back. I held back. I thought you’d make that kind of face. It’s not something someone as refined as you, with even your saliva being high-class, could handle.”

Looking into Hae-won’s disgusted eyes, Woo-jin smiled an extremely charming smile that contradicted the honest desires he had just voiced.

“That……, keep lying about that. I’ll let that one slide.”

Hae-won pretended not to notice his staring eyes.

“Are you telling me to lie or not to lie?”

“Just don’t do that.”

“Which one do you hate the most?”

“……Pissing inside?”

After pondering Woo-jin’s words, Hae-won frowned and spoke.

“Why do you hate it? Coming inside is the same.”

“Do you want to die?”

“No.”

“Don’t even think about it.”

“I’ve thought……, many times. I’ve already thought about it a lot.”

It seemed he had even imagined it in the meantime. Woo-jin’s eyes looked upward. Hae-won hit his arm, telling him not to imagine it.

“You lied about not having emotions. Why would someone without emotions be so obsessed with such dirty things? Is that possible?”

He couldn’t help but be suspicious. Woo-jin replied nonchalantly.

“I didn’t have those desires before. I wasn’t very interested in the pleasure gained through sexual acts. But after meeting you, I developed an interest in pleasure. I want to keep leaving my traces inside you. Especially in that kind of play.”

“……”

“Honestly, I used to think sex was a physiological desire explainable by evolutionary psychology, but that wasn’t it. Now I’m inclined to agree with the argument that sex is closer to the humanities. The proportion of pleasure is quite significant, it turns out.”

What on earth are you trying to say, Hae-won looked at him with an expression telling him not to babble in words only he understood.

“So, sleeping with you isn’t just about satisfying a desire; it’s more than that.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“Hmm. Well. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad.”

“Anyway, honesty is good, but I wish you’d be honest while maintaining an appropriate social distance.”

“I have no idea what you’re asking for.”

How much more time would he have to spend learning that?

Now, he didn’t want to suppress anything, watch his words, and deny a significant part of himself, trembling in fear that the monster crouching and hiding within him would be discovered. He wanted to stop having to endure and learn things. He didn’t need to do that anymore.

Hae-won liked Woo-jin as he was and wanted him as he was.

Woo-jin, who had been honestly exposing everything inside, approached as if he truly didn’t understand. He came right up and wrapped his arm around Hae-won’s waist.

“If we don’t leave now, we won’t be able to go again today.”

“How can we go out after having this kind of conversation?”

As he took off Hae-won’s coat over his shoulder, he spoke. He also took off his own outerwear and tossed it aside carelessly. Woo-jin lifted Hae-won’s weight effortlessly and placed him on the nearest table. He spread Hae-won’s legs apart, stepped between them, and stared intently into his eyes.

Hae-won’s hand, which had been sweeping back Woo-jin’s hair, naturally caressed his ear, cheek, and nape.

“What exactly is honesty with appropriate social distance?”

“……Just say you want to sleep with me. Saying things like swallow my semen or I want to piss inside you, there’s no distance at all in that.”

“In short, you’re saying when we have sex, be appropriately polite and put on an appropriate act?”

“If you don’t know what social distance is, at least put on an act.”

“Like before, pretend to be excited even though you don’t like it?”

“Did you pretend to be excited when you were with me even though you didn’t like it?”

“You said to put on an act.”

“Don’t. If you’re going to do that, don’t put on an act.”

Hae-won pounded his fists against Woo-jin’s shoulders. He hit him quite painfully, but Woo-jin barely managed to grab his fists and stop him.

“What do you want me to do? Is it okay to do it?”

“Just try it. Then I’ll really…….”

“Really? What, are you going to break up with me or something?”

“Say that one more time. I’ll really kill you.”

“……That’s what I want to say. If you say that kind of thing, I’ll really kill you.”

“……”

Eyes that sent shivers down his spine seemed to bore into Hae-won’s inner self as they met his gaze. Having told him not to hide or conceal anything, Woo-jin now showed everything he had been holding back without restraint.

“Does it seem like I’m joking?”

“No, it doesn’t seem like a joke.”

“Good observation. I’ve decided not to make those kinds of jokes or lies anymore. I’m just going to live as I please.”

“You can live as you please, but don’t lie to me.”

“Pissing inside.”

“Be appropriate when we have sex.”

“I want to sleep with you. I’ve thought about many things, but I’ve thought about that the most.”

“……That level is just right.”

Hae-won cupped his cheeks with both hands and pressed his lips against his. Woo-jin’s eyes, which had been gazing blankly, gently closed.

As if telling of his recent hardships, the surface of Woo-jin’s lips was rough. Hae-won’s face contorted in pity. That unfamiliar texture reminded him that Woo-jin had been locked away in a cold, dark place for a year.

He carefully licked Woo-jin’s lips. He moistened them with his tongue, rubbed them with his lips, and gently sucked. Woo-jin’s lips, which had been savoring Hae-won’s movements with his eyes closed, formed a soft curve.

“Me……, you must have hated that I never visited you after that, right? You were disappointed, right?”

“I don’t know the exact meaning of ‘disappointed,’ but you wouldn’t have seen me even if you came anyway.”

Separating their wet lips, Woo-jin whispered like a sigh. He opened his half-closed eyes.

“……Why?”

“I didn’t want to show you my pathetic state.”

“Do you know……, how much I wanted to see you?”

“I wanted to see you too. I wanted to touch you. I thought I could endure it, but it was difficult. I thought I was going crazy. Even now, it’s enough to make me curse.”

Woo-jin rolled up the hem of his shirt and pulled it off over his head, then took off Hae-won’s clothes too. Their bare upper bodies rubbed against each other pitifully as they embraced.

Rubbing his lips against Hae-won’s shoulder and nape, Woo-jin mindlessly pressed his lower body against him.

“Ah……!”

Hae-won let out a moan at the force that hit him hard enough to crush his flesh. Woo-jin thrust against him a few more times like that. The part of Hae-won that desperately wanted him throbbed and trembled.

The sexual excitement he could only feel through Woo-jin and the tension that dried his throat made his vision blur as if a heat haze was rising.

Woo-jin took off his pants. Hae-won helped his hands by lifting his hips. He roughly pulled off the pants dangling around his ankles. Woo-jin ran his darkened eyes over Hae-won’s legs, wearing white socks, as if stroking them.

The area between his thighs trembled faintly, and desire raised its head without hesitation.

He moistened his own lips. Hae-won flinched at the spot Woo-jin was staring at intently. As his legs closed, Woo-jin’s hands grabbed and spread them apart again.

“Ah!”

He spread them wide without controlling his strength. Hae-won was ashamed. He lowered his head, telling him not to look, and pushed away the head that was staring intently.

“Don’t. Don’t look. Don’t look there.”

“Haa, I’m going crazy. You’re already leaking like this?”

“I told you not to.”

There was nowhere to hide or cover himself. Hae-won grabbed his chin and forcibly pulled it up toward his own face. Eyes reddened with lust stared at Hae-won.

“It’s been a while. Is our Hae-won going to piss?”

“Don’t do that. I clearly told you not to.”

“I’ll swallow it all for you.”

“Ugh, that’s disgusting. Don’t say things like that either.”

“I want to eat it. What Hae-won comes. What Hae-won leaks.”

“……You’re crazy. You’re really crazy.”

With that look, with that face, he was saying such horrifying things so neatly and properly. The one who had been overlapping lips, chewing and sucking on the plump, swollen flesh, slowly descended along Hae-won’s body and lowered his head. He licked his neck, sucked his chest, and pushed the tip of his tongue, which had been standing upright, into his navel, digging and twisting as if gouging it out.

“Ah, ahh!”

The intense stimulation made his back arch. His lips slid down hotly, licking the pubic bone, then took Hae-won’s fully erect genitals into his mouth.

Hae-won, who had completely lain back on the table, spread his legs and grabbed Woo-jin’s hair with both hands.

“Haa, ahh, ugh……, ngh.”

Squelching sounds spread lewdly. Hae-won was completely out of his mind. He could only tremble and moan like sobbing, his thighs shaking as they were held by him.

He swallowed the sensitive part deep into his throat. The curves touching his uvula and the unevenness inside his mouth wrapped around and sucked up his genitals.

“Ah! Aah! Hyung, hyuung!”

“Hhuup, ugh……. Haa, you have to say my name.”

“Woo-jin hyung, Woo-jin……, ah! Woo-jin hyung……, uung!”

Woo-jin, who had buried his face between the heated thighs and wrapped his arms around to immobilize him, tightened his throat. Hae-won thrashed as if struggling. Hae-won’s back, twisting like a fish flopping and thrown ashore, stiffened for an instant.

“Ah-uung!”

Hae-won came in his mouth. Whatever he came, he ejaculated something. Curling his lower back and rounding his whole body, Hae-won trembled violently while holding the hair of the one whose face was buried in his lower body. Woo-jin’s throat gulped incessantly. Even as he gasped and stretched out his limbs, he showed no intention of letting go. Sensing what he was about to do, Hae-won urgently pushed his head away.

“No, don’t. Don’t! Ah, stop, stop it. Hyung!”

He didn’t budge. He was trying to extract something more, to suck something out. Hae-won thrashed. He refused with his whole body.

“Don’t do it! Woo-jin hyung, please, please. Don’t do it. Please don’t do it. Stop, stop it. You son of a bitch! Fuck, I’ll really kill you! Hyung, aah, please, ugh!”

In his extreme urgency, honorifics, pleas, and curses all flew out together.

“Don’t do it. Aah, please don’t do it. Please, hyung, ah, sir, grandfather, please, teacher, prosecutor, aah! No, don’t, don’t do it!”

His legs, lifted in the air, flailed. He was completely caught and couldn’t move at all. Hae-won hit the back of his head with whatever he could grab. The only thing he could grab was a dishcloth. He grabbed an empty wine bottle, raised it high, but couldn’t bring himself to hit him with it and threw it away.

“Hyung, please, I really hate it, I hate it……, I hate it, aah, ahh, ah-uung!”

Hae-won came. In his mouth…… he really did the thing he didn’t want to do.

His body, glistening with sweat, trembled violently. The back of his hand, clutching his hair as if to tear it out, turned white and bulged.

“Haa, haa……, ah…….”

Trembling and flinching, Hae-won finally burst into tears.

“Hhuuk…….”

Only after swallowing something to the end did he raise his flushed face. Hae-won looked up at him with disgust, as if looking at something horrifying and grotesque.

“……No, right?”

“What.”

“Did I piss?”

“Piss inside?”

“Me……, did I really piss……, inside?”

“You still can’t tell the difference?”

His lips curved into a smirk. Hae-won hit him repeatedly with his fists. Woo-jin lifted Hae-won up and held him in his arms.

“Put me down! Put me down!”

“What did you say earlier? Say it again.”

“I didn’t say anything! You damn bastard!”

“Please don’t do……, it.”

Hae-won bit his lip. His cheeks, unable to bear the shame, burned red.

“Don’t do this. Don’t do it. Please don’t do it.”

“Don’t do it! Son of a bitch. Hyun Woo-jin, you’re really a son of a bitch.”

“Strangely, when you use honorifics, I get really excited. I’m so hard my pants might tear.”

“Put me down! Let go!”

“It seems like I could really do it now, want to try?”

“What?”

“Let’s go to the bed.”

Woo-jin’s steps headed toward the bed. Hae-won thrashed spasmodically. He threw Hae-won onto the bed and climbed on top himself. He held him down as if tying him up so he couldn’t escape and pressed down on both wrists.

“Don’t do it. Really don’t do it.”

“I like this kind of hard play. Of course, I like doing it, but even the opposite is fine if it’s yours.”

“……You won’t do it, right? Huh? You won’t do that kind of thing, right?”

“Everything you leak is delicious. It’s all mine.”

“You crazy bastard. I’ll really kill you.”

Hae-won was scared that Woo-jin would really drink his urine. It wasn’t just scary; it was too horrifying, grotesque, and disgustingly indescribable.

No matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t overcome Woo-jin’s brute strength. Hae-won thrashed. His eyes stared intently at Hae-won’s lower part as if expecting him to piss inside.

“Hyung, really don’t do it. Don’t do it. Huh? Please…….”

When cursing and getting angry at him didn’t work, Hae-won pleaded. He pleaded in a voice that tickled his ear.

“Haa, if you say you hate it that much, I shouldn’t do it.”

“Really? Truly? Really?”

“Yeah. But instead…….”

“Instead?”

“Use honorifics with me for the next hour.”

“…….”

“If you don’t want to, I’ll swallow it.”

“O-okay! I’ll do it!”

“Starting now.”

“I’ll do it. I’ll use honorifics.”

It wasn’t difficult, and he wouldn’t mind using honorifics for the rest of his life if it meant not doing that.

“Hae-won, spread your legs.”

“Yes.”

Hae-won obediently spread his legs. Woo-jin’s body lowered close. His weight pressed down on his chest and stomach, heavy as if cutting off his breath. He pulled down his zipper and rubbed his underwear against Hae-won’s lower part, moving his hips thickly.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Should we try something hard?”

“Ah, no. No. I’ll talk, hyung-nim.”

“Do you like being like this with hyung?”

“……Yes. Ah, I like it.”

“That would feel good too.”

He urgently pushed away Woo-jin, who was approaching as if suggesting they try it.

“I really hate that. It’s dirty.”

“It’s not dirty. Tap water is probably dirtier.”

“I’d prefer it if we didn’t talk about that anymore. Hyung-nim.”

Not knowing what Woo-jin might do next, Hae-won looked at him, filled with fear. Woo-jin chuckled softly. He brought his lips to Hae-won’s tightly tense cheeks and forehead. He kissed him softly. Hae-won’s body, which had stiffened with tension, relaxed somewhat limply.

“You told me to be honest.”

“……Please be appropriately honest. Be honest, please.”

“See. I told you you couldn’t handle it.”

“I’m scared. Don’t do that. Please.”

Understanding, Woo-jin let out a breath mixed with laughter, pulled down his own underwear, and properly pushed into Hae-won.

“Ah, hello. I’m sorry. I don’t really know. Yes. No. Understood.”

Woo-jin was awake.

He was lying awake, gazing blankly at the back of Hae-won’s head resting on his arm, hesitating whether to stroke it or not, reaching out his hand then withdrawing, approaching again to touch it then stopping, being careful not to wake him, when the phone rang. At the sound, Hae-won, fearing Woo-jin might wake up, opened his eyes in a flash, grabbed the phone on the side table like lightning, and answered without even checking who it was.

It was, of all people, his mother, whom Hae-won had been avoiding and not answering.

Hae-won let out a small sigh and put down his phone, still lying with his cheek pressed against his arm as he quietly finished the call.

Woo-jin hated that kind of hypocrisy the most, and Hae-won’s action of answering the call out of fear that he might wake up made Woo-jin’s chest ache.

He stroked the round back of Hae-won’s head. Hae-won rustled and turned to face him. Their eyes met.

“When did you wake up?”

“About an hour ago.”

“You should’ve woken me. Your arm must be numb.”

The weight of the head resting on his arm must have been considerable. As Hae-won tried to sit up, Woo-jin pushed him back down.

“It’s fine. Just stay. It’s not numb.”

He clenched and unclenched his fist behind his head, out of Hae-won’s sight, and told him to stay like that.

“Who was it? Mother?”

“She asked if I’d heard from you. So I said no. She thinks we broke up.”

“You told me not to lie.”

“Hyung, don’t. No lying.”

Now there was no need to prove his normalcy to Mother, nor to confirm he was doing well by skillfully deceiving her. Otherwise, Woo-jin had no reason to see her. He no longer needed grand arguments to prove he wasn’t abnormal. Having Hae-won was enough.

“I’ll contact home. Don’t make me receive calls like this. I can’t ignore her just because she’s Choi Hyun-mi.”

“Just ignore her.”

“If it were anyone else, I’d ignore them ten, a hundred times. How can I ignore Hyung’s mother?”

“I don’t get it. I can ignore her, so why can’t you ignore my mother? Doesn’t that seem backwards? You’re good at ignoring people.”

“People who deserve to be ignored should be ignored. I’d chase them to the ends of the earth to ignore them. But Choi Hyun-mi is a bit… hard to do that to.”

Hae-won had pulled him in with a gravity stronger than Earth’s, and pushed Woo-jin away with a gravity even stronger than that.

In the dual antagonism between mass attracting mass and mass repelling mass, Woo-jin burned away things he believed were unfamiliar to him. To Hae-won, it might have seemed insufficient, but he did every pitiful thing he could. He even did his best to shatter himself.

“I don’t know why I do it either. Everyone probably does. There’s that social thing, that thing you can’t ignore.”

“Am I not human, is that it?”

“Antisocial personality disorder probably doesn’t know.”

Woo-jin blinked. Here was someone who openly brought up antisocial personality disorder right in front of him. Even Mother, and even the doctor who made that diagnosis, had avoided mentioning it and been careful. It was his sensitive spot, his fatal inferiority complex.

“Who says. That I have antisocial personality disorder.”

“Otherwise, it doesn’t make sense.”

“I’m not like that.”

“You are.”

“I’m not.”

As Woo-jin got angry, Hae-won, who had been sitting and watching him, burst out laughing.

“Okay. I’ll go with you not being like that. Actually, you probably aren’t.”

Wrapping his arms around Woo-jin’s stiff shoulders, Hae-won spoke. Woo-jin picked up a shirt rolling by the bedside and covered Hae-won’s bare back.

The way he looked at him, the things he did—just looking at that, he wasn’t. He wasn’t that kind of person, then he was again……. Hae-won still found him difficult.

He was utterly unknowable. Unpredictable, unfathomable. So he couldn’t deny that he was attractive.

Weak and cruel……, affectionate and brutal.

The lips that spoke of love with a hundred stars were the same that stabbed a knife into his own neck while simultaneously whispering for a kiss. That gentleness, that roughness, it was all Woo-jin.

“Shall we shower together?”

Holding Hae-won, Woo-jin asked quietly.

“If you pee on my butt, I won’t let it slide.”

“Am I a dog? Peeing anywhere.”

He frowned fiercely and scooped Hae-won up in his arms.

The year-end he had planned to spend alone was spent rolling around with Woo-jin in the officetel, not moving an inch.

Even if three years had passed instead of one, seeing Woo-jin looking so idle was hard to get used to.

Rather, Hae-won was busy. His phone kept ringing, seeking him out.

Glancing at Woo-jin, who hadn’t taken his eyes off him, Hae-won picked up the vibrating phone.

A few days ago, it was the manager; today, it was the agency president. Since the orchestra was on vacation until the new year, he had no intention of doing anything, and since the contract terms were originally “don’t do things you don’t want to do,” he hadn’t even answered calls. Then a message came saying refusing one or two things was fine, but refusing everything was a breach of contract.

Woo-jin’s arm wrapped around Hae-won’s waist and pulled him in. A bare chest pressed against his back. Hae-won leaned on his arm, lying on his side, and looked at the phone screen as he asked.

“It says refusing things you don’t want to do is a contract term, but refusing everything is a breach. Right?”

“Who writes a contract like that? What kind of lunatic. And with that kind of special clause, it’s not a breach.”

“I got famous for no reason. They’re being a huge bother.”

“Terminate the contract now.”

“I’d have to pay a penalty.”

“I’ll pay it.”

“You’re unemployed now, old man. You didn’t earn much before either.”

He jabbed at Woo-jin’s sore spot, not even asking how much, just saying he’d pay unconditionally.

Hae-won turned and lay down. He met his gaze. Woo-jin was looking at him, not letting his eyes stray from him for even a moment.

He had wanted to kill him. And he had driven him to near death. He took everything he had and shattered the dreams he was building.

He was dismissed from his prosecutor position. It was work he liked. Woo-jin himself seemed to have little thought about it. To dismiss it as something that happened because of his own mistakes, Hae-won had provided too many causes.

“……What will you do from now on?”

“Your manager.”

“Don’t joke. What will you do?”

“Moon Hae-won’s boyfriend.”

He couldn’t imagine Woo-jin not being a prosecutor.

Woo-jin chuckled at Hae-won’s sullen face, which showed no reaction, let alone laughter at the joke. Hae-won’s eyebrows, which had been set in a gloomy expression, shot up.

“Why are you laughing?”

“It’s not because of you that I quit.”

“…….”

He spoke as if reading the guilt Hae-won felt—that it was because of him, that he had ruined him.

“I would’ve quit someday. It’s just the timing…… was much sooner than I thought. It’s not because of you. How long could I keep investigating like that? Sooner or later, I would’ve quit.”

“Really?”

“Really, yeah.”

“You promised not to lie. That you’d never lie again.”

“…….”

“Really?”

Woo-jin couldn’t answer and closed his lips. Hae-won felt his chest tighten. He had only wanted to pay back the wounds he received, not ultimately ruin him. No, he wanted to ruin him, but he never thought he would actually be ruined, that the fortress-like him would crumble because of him. Woo-jin had been that obsessed with his work. To the point he couldn’t dare imagine the day he would give it up.

And now that person was in a position where he had to think about what to do next.

Urging Hae-won’s gaze, which was trying not to look at him, to meet his again, Woo-jin opened his mouth.

“It’s not because of you. It’s just that I’d rather self-destruct together than risk losing everything. I knew there’d come a day when I’d have to stake my prosecutor position. I just didn’t know it would be you.”

“…….”

“I didn’t know it would be you. That’s all.”

Woo-jin was sincere. He knew there would come a day when he’d have a list of things he could only handle by staking his prosecutor position. He just didn’t know it would be as early as number 5. He truly didn’t know it would be that number 5, the one he had let his guard down completely about because he believed he had everything.

He had no regrets about letting everything go. Rather, thinking he wouldn’t be able to let go, Woo-jin felt comfortable, as if freed from the shackles that had bound him all his life, once he admitted failure. It was an unexpected twist.

“I wasn’t going to work, but I guess I have to. If I have to feed the old man, I’ll work hard.”

Hae-won fidgeted and picked up the phone he had put down. Woo-jin took the device from his hand as he was about to call somewhere, stretched his long arm, and placed it far out of reach.

“I have to work. I’ll feed you.”

“Thanks, but……”

Making him suffer, making him struggle……, feeling this affectionate, he couldn’t believe he had once wished and prayed for his miserable downfall.

He had really liked Woo-jin. He was everything.

The emotional expenditure poured into someone could be so destructive. That was the feeling Hae-won held for him.

As if finding Hae-won worrying about feeding him utterly cute, the corners of his mouth curved into a graceful smile.

A faint vibration sounded from somewhere. It wasn’t Hae-won’s.

“Did you turn your phone on?”

“I don’t think I did.”

Woo-jin had deliberately turned his phone off. He didn’t want to receive any contact. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the pleasure of monopolizing Hae-won.

He got up from the bed and rummaged through the coat thrown on the sofa. Checking the number on the phone screen, Woo-jin’s face instantly turned cold, and Hae-won grew tense instead.

“What is it?”

Woo-jin answered the call. His tone was too icy. It didn’t seem like the same person who had been lying beside him, looking at him with warm eyes.

“What do you want me to do about it.”

Woo-jin retorted in a dry, emotionless tone.

“A lawyer? That’s funny. I quite despise lawyers, but if I had to rank them, I’d hate them second only to you. Of course, you’re number one, so don’t be too sad.”

Every time the other person said something, Woo-jin poured out cold, seemingly emotionless words.

That side of Woo-jin was unfamiliar. He realized anew that Woo-jin had been putting on some kind of act in front of him. His expression was so blank he looked like a machine. One clear fact was that while he didn’t readily show what he liked, he couldn’t hide what he disliked. Whoever it was, he seemed to really dislike them.

“Unlike you, I can play and eat for the rest of my life. You’ll probably be the poorest among prosecutors.”

The other person seemed to be asking Woo-jin what he would do from now on. He sneered, saying it wasn’t even laughable.

“Yeah, keep living cleanly, honestly, and poorly. Don’t call again. Figure it out yourself.”

It seemed they were asking him for some investigation favor. Woo-jin coldly snapped and hung up. He was so cold that Hae-won couldn’t bring himself to ask and just stared at his back.

He turned around, one eyebrow twitching. As he turned, he seemed to be taking some measure—deleting the phone number or blocking the caller.

Throwing the phone on the table beside the sofa, Woo-jin burrowed into Hae-won’s embrace. He kissed Hae-won’s chest and smelled it. His fiercely narrowed eyes softened as he met Hae-won’s blank stare.

“Let’s really go buy Hyung clothes today. We’re not beasts, what is this.”

“We should. Being a naturalist in winter is harder than I thought.”

At Woo-jin’s reply, an angelic smile appeared on Hae-won’s face. Unintentionally seeing it, the corners of Woo-jin’s mouth also curved.

∞ ∞ ∞

Hae-won woke to diligent noise. Rubbing his sleepy eyes, he lifted his face from the pillow.

Woo-jin was setting something on the dining table. Hae-won bolted up. He quickly followed him.

“Don’t do this. I’ll do it. I’ll do it from now on.”

“When haven’t I done it? Why are you acting like this now?”

“No. Don’t. I’ll do it.”

Saying to take off the apron that didn’t suit him, Hae-won reached his arms around his back to hug him and tried to undo the knot.

Looking down at Hae-won struggling to undo the apron strings tied behind him while hugging him, Woo-jin spoke.

“Getting a hot hug from the morning is nice, but just let me do it. Let me do it.”

“I’ll do it for you. Don’t do this.”

“Just let me do it. To be honest, what you make is worse than bean rice.”

“…….”

He hadn’t done anything special; yesterday, he just made kimchi stew for dinner, which only required boiling. As Hae-won stared blankly, he continued.

“If I’m honest twice, we might break up again. Should I be moderately honest?”

“No, be honest about everything except bed-wetting.”

“Okay, honestly, it’s worse than bean rice. It didn’t seem like food humans could eat.”

“I’m really not doing it.”

“Don’t. Wash up. Wash up and eat breakfast.”

Hae-won, who had been holding his waist, let go and went into the bathroom. Woo-jin chuckled and finished preparing breakfast.

After showering, Hae-won sat at the table.

It was a modest, neatly set breakfast table, incomparable to yesterday’s table with just a single pot he had carelessly placed.

As Hae-won sat on the dining chair, Woo-jin scooped soup and placed it in front of him. He looked up at him with a raised gaze.

“How is it.”

“Of course it’s better than the bean rice I made.”

“No, how is it. Doesn’t it feel like we’re really living together?”

“…….”

Anyway, his obsession with trivial things remained.

It was a scam that someone who looked like that could even cook well. Probably because even bought food or food made by others didn’t taste good, he couldn’t stand it and started cooking to suit his own taste, and ended up getting good at it.

Woo-jin also took off the apron and sat in front of Hae-won. Only then did he let out a deep sigh as if completing something, and satisfaction spread across his expressionless face.

“Is this what you wanted so much?”

“You probably can’t even imagine.”

The reason he had lost his sense of direction and staggered was because he wanted to recover this simple sense of stability.

It hadn’t even been a few days since they started living together, but Hae-won’s officetel had become tidy. Things that used to roll around haphazardly were no longer visible, and furniture placed oddly had found its proper place. Dishes that had been mixed up, ignoring placement, and books on the bookshelf were neatly arranged.

Just looking at the surface, in that state, he was truly a perfect man.

Except for his personality, he was really perfect, but that personality was the biggest flaw. If not Hae-won, no one could handle him. If Hae-won didn’t collect him, he was just a hazardous object and a time bomb roaming around, harming others.

And he had broken him. The guilt that he had made Woo-jin like a redundant human with no job weighed heavily on his chest, while the responsibility that he had to take care of him also arose. But strangely, those two feelings didn’t burden Hae-won; they made him happy.

No one could handle a person like that. If not Hae-won, no one could take him in. So he had to take responsibility.

Hae-won scooped a large spoonful of rice and put it in his mouth.

“Eat slowly. You’ll get indigestion.”

Swallowing what was in his mouth, Hae-won spoke.

“I have a broadcast today. I have to play a few songs and take photos.”

“You have the special clause. It’s not a breach. You don’t have to do things you don’t want to.”

“I don’t not want to. I’ll work hard. I’ll work hard at orchestra work and broadcasts, get more famous, and earn more money.”

“Working hard is good, but I don’t really like you appearing on broadcasts.”

“Even if you don’t like it, there’s no choice. I have to earn money.”

“…….”

Hae-won was someone who did what he wanted, was naturally raised and loved by someone’s hands, and that kind of life suited him. He stared curiously at Hae-won talking about money, money from the morning.

While finishing the meal and cleaning up, click, click sounds made Woo-jin turn around.

Hae-won was taking pictures of him with his phone, wearing an apron and diligently washing dishes.

“What are you doing?”

“To look at later if I miss you.”

Hae-won, who used to say he didn’t even want to see his face, hated breathing the same air, and expressed disgust, was now capturing his image with the camera again, recording his voice, and obsessing like before. He probably didn’t know how proud that made Woo-jin.

Woo-jin asked as if doing a favor.

“Will you record my voice too?”

“Your voice? That’s fine. We can talk on the phone later. Don’t turn off your phone.”

Even though he offered to record, Hae-won replied indifferently, as if only the photos mattered, and turned away, clutching the phone he had been clicking continuously.

Ignoring the real Woo-jin right in front of him, he looked at the photos taken on the phone and marveled.

“Whoever this is, they’re really tall and handsome.”

“I think I understand what ‘pissed off because of you’ means.”

Seeing his own photo and smiling lovingly, he felt secretly furious and annoyed.

Woo-jin saw Hae-won off. He brought a scarf and wrapped it around Hae-won’s neck.

“Phone, wallet. Gloves?”

“Oh, right. Gloves.”

Hae-won, who had been wearing gloves indoors for fear of injuring his hands, seemed to have forgotten, showing his empty hands. Woo-jin took the gloves out of a drawer and brought them over. He hadn’t even said where he’d put them, but even after a year, the person who knew better where everything was in this officetel wasn’t Hae-won, who lived there, but Woo-jin, who had appeared after a year.

Putting on the gloves, he nodded in satisfaction, put on his down parka, and slung the violin over his shoulder.

“Hyung, what are you doing today?”

“Cleaning up after Moon Hae-won.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Deep cleaning, laundry.”

“What laundry? You can just drop it off at the laundromat downstairs.”

Hae-won frowned as if he’d heard something truly horrifying.

Wasn’t laundry something you sent out, not did yourself?

“I’ll wash the bedding and dust everything. This year was a mess, but I want to welcome the new year with a fresh feeling.”

“……”

“With you.”

“……”

“Our beginning was a mess, but this time I want to start off right.”

Today was December 31st, the last day of the year.

This year had truly been a mess. If Woo-jin hadn’t made that choice, he and Hae-won would still be floundering in the mud, unable to kill each other, suffering. Holding onto a fire that wouldn’t die down even after years.

Hae-won felt the same. This time, he wanted to start off right.

Hae-won wrapped his arms around Woo-jin’s shoulders.

“Take good care of the house and stay put quietly. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Nowhere to go. I’m a disowned son at home, fired as a prosecutor, sold my apartment, and can’t afford a hotel.”

“Got it. I won’t kick you out. Let’s have a party later.”

He cut off Woo-jin’s muttering, which sounded like a business report delivered in a low voice about his pitiful situation.

For a while, they just looked at each other’s faces. Hae-won smiled as he looked at Woo-jin, who wasn’t smiling at all.

Just as he kissed his cheek, his phone rang. It seemed his real manager had arrived at the underground parking lot.

“Want to get glasses?”

Woo-jin asked out of the blue.

“My eyes aren’t bad. Both are 1.5 or better.”

“To hide your face.”

“Say something that makes sense. Hiding it won’t actually hide it.”

Planting a kiss on his other cheek, which was being stubborn, Hae-won barely managed to peel off the arms that didn’t want to let go and left the officetel.

After two rehearsals with the pianist, he began the performance.

An album to be released early next year was also contracted, and Kim Jae-min had gone to the U.S. to compose.

It was a broadcast appearance fee that didn’t even cover meal costs, but the President had begged and clung to him, saying it was essential for album promotion, so he couldn’t refuse. Hae-won finished playing two pieces without complaint and moved from the broadcasting station to a studio in Gangnam.

Sitting in the car, Hae-won looked at his phone and smiled faintly. The manager, who was now feeling anxious rather than relieved at his suddenly changed attitude, asked, “Hae-won, did something good happen?”

“How could something good happen? Is something good Grandfather Gojo?”

“Huh?”

“No. Something good did happen.”

“You suddenly seem in a good mood.”

“Right. My mood isn’t Grandfather Gojo, but I seem in a good mood.”

The manager’s consistent speech, excessively attaching honorifics and formal speech to every noun while gauging his mood, didn’t feel particularly bothersome today either.

He flipped through images of Woo-jin seriously doing the dishes, of Woo-jin asleep.

Changing clothes three times, spending over an hour on makeup and hair—surprisingly, Hae-won didn’t show any irritation. The photographer, who was looking at him with dissatisfaction as he dawdled and requested various poses as if doing the most hated thing in the world—today, Hae-won changed poses as instructed without a word of complaint.

As always, it was a face and aura that should have been an entertainer, not a violinist. Staff who had scheduled the next shoot peeked over, thinking Hae-won was a rookie actor, asking who he was, and the vice president of a famous entertainment agency stared at Hae-won’s photos for a long time before leaving. The manager felt oddly proud for no reason.

Hae-won, who used to turn all colors of the rainbow saying just take a few photos and be done with it, finished the over-an-hour-long shoot without voicing any complaints.

The manager wished Hae-won was like this every day, hoped that whatever it was, something good happened every day. Truly, the past year of accompanying him had been a critical juncture in the manager’s life, a trial to overcome.

“Shall I take you to the officetel?”

“There’s a place I need to stop by.”

“I’ll take you.”

The manager turned the steering wheel to the address Hae-won gave.

“You can stop here.”

The manager parked the car right against the wall.

“Where is this?”

“It’s my house.”

“Ah, is this Hae-won’s family home?”

He looked up at the high-end residential complex and tall wall and marveled. Then he went, Ah. Hae-won’s personality and actions finally made a bit of sense.

“I’ll go in for a quick talk. I’ll be right out.”

“Yes, take your time with your report.”

Hae-won got out of the car. The manager reclined the seat back and lay down as if to take a nap.

When he rang the bell, his stepmother’s voice came through.

—What brings you here? You should call first.

“Just open the door, please.”

The heavy gate lock clicked open. He passed through the garden, which showed a considerable lack of aesthetic sense, and went inside.

“Student Hae-won, long time no see. How have you been? How many months has it been?”

“I’ve been well.”

“Come by more often. I might forget your face at this rate.”

The housekeeper welcomed Hae-won with a pleased expression. As they exchanged greetings, his stepmother appeared sauntering and added a comment.

“What’s there to forget when he’s on TV? Now that he’s making money and doesn’t need to hold out his hand, of course he has no reason to come home.”

“Nothing special happened, right?”

“Do you even care?”

“I don’t, I just asked because I had nothing else to say. How’s Father?”

“He left work an hour after your call and is waiting.”

His stepmother grumbled. The one most pleased about Hae-won appearing on broadcasts and holding concerts, making a name for himself as a violinist, was his father.

His father seemed to have stopped going to San Francisco, which he used to visit once a month for work. It seemed his child’s success pleased him enough to neglect his affairs.

Scrapbooking and collecting Hae-won’s broadcast appearances and things like classical magazines had become his father’s recent pastime.

His stepmother seemed quite displeased that his father, who had been devoted only to Hae-jeong, was now pouring all his passion and sincerity into Hae-won, whom he hadn’t paid much attention to before.

His father, sitting in the living room, craned his neck and waved for Hae-won to come quickly.

“Oh, our violinist is here? Come quickly. Sit down. The ice hasn’t fully melted yet, did you drive here dangerously? Should I get you a driver?”

“It’s fine. I came in a company car. My manager is waiting outside.”

“You have a manager too? Drives for you and manages your schedule? That kind of manager?”

His father’s eyes widened.

“On work days, he drives. Not every day. He handles a few others besides me.”

“No, how can we leave someone like that waiting outside. Housekeeper, go outside and bring Hae-won’s manager in. Do we have anything to serve? He’s the one who drives for our Hae-won, we should treat him well. Wait a moment. Do I have some cash? Hey, go get an envelope. Housekeeper, do we have white envelopes? Money doesn’t lie. We need to take care of him like this so he’ll treat you best.”

Because his father gave multiple disjointed instructions at once, the housekeeper flustered. His stepmother was watching him with narrowed eyes, and the housekeeper managed to find a white envelope stored somewhere, brought it, and went outside to fetch the manager.

“Hey, go get my wallet from the bedroom.”

“No hands, no feet?”

“I have hands and feet.”

“Then use them, why don’t you?”

As if he didn’t want to argue anymore, his father frowned and stood up. Hae-won didn’t particularly stop his father’s fussing. Because of the resentment that his father had made his biological mother that way, Hae-won was indifferent to him. His father, too, couldn’t fully enjoy the pleasure of having a child due to Hae-won’s indifference and had lived deliberately insensitive to Hae-won, who disliked him. Moreover, now was the time Hae-won needed to humor his father.

His father brought his wallet. He emptied the cash he had into the envelope. It looked to be several hundred thousand won. The manager, who had been hesitantly entering the house following the housekeeper, brightened upon seeing Hae-won.

“Oh my, it must be cold waiting outside. Come in here. Come this way.”

His father welcomed Hae-won’s manager warmly. Offered him a seat on the living room sofa. The manager bowed his head and gave a polite greeting.

“Hello. I’m Lee Jin-soo, manager of violinist Moon Hae-won.”

“Goodness, how much effort must it have taken to handle our Hae-won’s temper. Sit, sit.”

The manager glanced at Hae-won. Hae-won pointed to the empty seat, indicating not to mind and sit.

“Housekeeper, bring something tasty here. Hey, go bring some refreshments. Ah, this is Hae-won’s stepmother.”

“Ah……, hello. You’re a stunning beauty. Nice to meet you. I’m manager Lee Jin-soo.”

When his father introduced her as his stepmother, she had been so upset her forehead veins bulged, but at the words “stunning beauty” and the manager’s attitude of looking up at her with an overly surprised expression, she just raised an eyebrow and stood up from the sofa. Shooting a glare at his father for having such a beauty as a wife, she offered a handshake to the manager.

“Nice to meet you. Please take good care of our Hae-won. The kid’s personality……, you know? Music kids, art kids, they’re all a bit weird. Is it just him?”

“Ah, no. That’s……”

“Aunt.”

Cutting off the manager who was about to make excuses for Hae-won, she called the housekeeper loudly and turned away elegantly.

The manager sat with an awkward expression, looking at Hae-won. Hae-won seemed completely unfazed by this uncomfortable conversation.

“When is our Hae-won’s album coming out? That’s being done there too, right? My friends are only waiting for that now. My friend who owns several huge hotels in Europe is eagerly waiting for that album. He says he’ll play all the music in that hotel chain’s restaurants with Hae-won’s performances. Has the song selection been decided? In that sense, nothing too strong, something softer. That kind of feel that’s easy to digest. How about it?”

“The composer is working on it now, so I don’t really know.”

“Hae-won, you know Uncle Jang-seok, right? When you were little and went skiing in Switzerland with Dad, the hotel we stayed at was Uncle Jang-seok’s.”

“Uncle is just saying that to make Father feel good. Don’t overdo it.”

Frowning, Hae-won told him to stop being ridiculous.

“That Jang-seok guy said he wants to introduce his daughter and asked for your contact info. My alumni friends are also making a fuss after seeing you on broadcast, saying to make you an entertainer. Pop music is a no. You know that, right? You’re a musician.”

His stepmother, who had brought fruit and tea on a tray, placed the plates on the table with a demure gesture.

“I have something to discuss separately.”

Hae-won said to his father. His father, who had been fidgeting, worrying about when to appropriately hand over the envelope without making it awkward, turned his gaze to Hae-won.

“What is it?”

“I said I have something to discuss separately.”

“What is it?”

His stepmother, who had been handing fruit on a fork to the manager who looked apologetic, shot a sharp look at the two.

“There’s something I’d like to ask. It’s not money-related, so don’t worry.”

“I was just curious asking? What if it is money? Why would I say anything about a son asking his father for something? It’s not like you’re a stranger.”

His stepmother snorted, saying it wasn’t that.

Telling the manager to wait a bit, Hae-won followed his father into the study.

“Honestly, the last album that came out wasn’t great. Depressing and soggy. Can’t you just do fresh classical?”

“I’ll handle that myself. Please stop talking about that.”

“No matter how well I do, what’s the point? If you ruin your child’s life, that life is a failure. If I hadn’t been in the weapons business, I’d have covered the company building with your photos. Put them on billboards too. Is there any business worth trying in the arts? With Hae-won, I could put you front and center.”

He gazed into the distance, drawing up blueprints.

“Please stop.”

When Hae-won spoke with genuine irritation, his father finally closed his mouth. Pouting his lips, he asked in a blunt voice.

“What is it. Want me to move you to a new officetel? Now that you’re going to be a world-class violinist, you should live in a place that matches. Build a shiny practice room too.”

“Please stop. I said it’s not a money issue. I’ll handle my own affairs.”

“……Aren’t you handling everything too much on your own? You haven’t been using your card lately. It feels awkward for your father.”

“How old am I? Should I still be swiping my father’s card?”

“No matter how old. I want to provide.”

He muttered sullenly.

“Then grant my request.”

“Not money, not a house, what separate thing do you want to talk about?”

“Someone I know……, a former prosecutor, did something wrong and went to prison. Can you look into whether he can work as a prosecutor again?”

“Is that something I can decide? Why not open a law practice?”

“He doesn’t want to be a lawyer.”

“He was a prosecutor? Hmm……”

“If there’s a decent position suitable for him, could you arrange it so that they contact him first, like recruiting?”

“A suitable position……, former prosecutor. I’ll look into it.”

“Not your company. Since he’s someone I know, he shouldn’t know I made this request, it has to be that kind of position.”

“For a parachute appointment, why so picky? If I call him, he should come saying thank you.”

“I owe him. I feel sorry……”

It was his fault. What Hae-won had done. Burning his eyes red with revenge, trying to ruin him, make him kneel at his feet, he hurt himself so Woo-jin couldn’t bear it. Woo-jin didn’t let go because he was afraid of being ruined himself, but because he could no longer do anything to Hae-won.

“I’ll contact friends and see if there’s a suitable position in the legal team.”

“Not a shabby position. He’s not someone who does that kind of work.”

“Hey, really……, fine. I’ll look for something with a really good salary, a really good company, at team leader level. Okay?”

“Please.”

The more Hae-won thought about it, the more his heart ached. Regardless of his position, Woo-jin had been extremely serious about his work. If it hadn’t been the wrong method, if it hadn’t been blind but political, he would have risen to a high position.

“Who is it? If you owe them, compensate with money.”

Since Hae-won had never made such a request before, his father seemed quite curious about the other person.

“If it could be resolved that way, I would have resolved it.”

“Ooh……, you don’t seem like my kid.”

As if too dignified to look at, he covered his eyes and made a fuss.

“I’m going.”

Hae-won sighed and left the study.

The manager, who had received the envelope his father slipped him and was in a good mood, beamed and drove Hae-won to the officetel.

“When the next schedule comes out, I’ll organize it and send it via message. Should I buy you dinner?”

“No. I’ll manage. Thank you for your hard work.”

“Yes, have a blessed New Year.”

“Ah……, yes. Manager, have a blessed New Year too.”

It was the last day of the year. With a light nod of greeting, Hae-won got out of the car.

Hae-won trudged along. The violin slung over his shoulder felt especially heavy today.

It wasn’t that he had been forcing himself to do something he hated. Woo-jin had his own convictions. He had taken work away from such a person. He wanted to repay him as much as the wounds he had received, and if it wasn’t equivalent, he wouldn’t have forgiven Woo-jin either, yet Hae-won was regretting.

He opened the officetel door. It had been clean in the morning, but now it was even cleaner. The positions of the bed and sofa had changed. It was an efficient spatial arrangement he hadn’t thought of before. Not that he hadn’t thought of it—he realized, looking at the widened interior of the officetel, that he had never even considered it.

Hae-won’s eyes found him. Woo-jin seemed to have stepped out for a moment. He called him. The ringtone sounded from inside the officetel. As he ended the call, the door lock clicked open and Woo-jin entered.

“Where did you go?”

“To buy something. Went to the store just up ahead. Did you just get here?”

A single envelope dangled from Woo-jin’s wrist. His attire, which had once seemed like a suit grafted onto his body, now suited his unemployed status. It was excessively casual.

When Hae-won stared at him intently, Woo-jin placed the envelope from his wrist on the table and approached.

“What’s wrong? Did something bad happen outside?”

“…No. What did you do today?”

“Nothing much. Ah, cleaning. Moved some furniture around. Much better, right?”

The man who once wielded power at the Central District Prosecutors’ Office had transformed into a modest and diligent homemaker.

It wasn’t that he disliked him, nor did he look pitiful or shabby, but because Hae-won knew his capabilities well, he felt a pang of regret.

“Why don’t you want to be a lawyer? I heard even after serving time, you can open your own practice after a while.”

“What kind of sudden talk is that?”

“You got angry before when you were on the phone with someone, saying you didn’t want to be a lawyer and to leave you alone.”

“Why bring that up now?”

“No, it’s just… It seems like you’d be good at it, but you say you don’t want to.”

“…”

Hae-won trailed off and sank into a gloomy expression.

Woo-jin tilted his head at the sudden statement.

He had told Hae-won he had no money, nowhere to go, and had been kicked out of his home. And for the past few days, he had cleaned and organized the officetel, rearranged furniture, and taken charge of meals.

How honest should he be?

Woo-jin pondered. He had cleaned Hae-won’s officetel due to a near-compulsive obsession with cleanliness. He couldn’t stand mess. However, Hae-won’s officetel wasn’t exactly dirty, but it wasn’t clean either.

Hae-won only knew how to keep himself clean and paid no attention to any space other than his bed. Even if dust bunnies rolled around in blind spots, if he didn’t notice them, it was as if they didn’t exist.

Since he had time anyway, he had simply organized what was unbearable.

Meals were the same. What Hae-won made or bought was garbage. Since they had to eat anyway, he didn’t want to force down tasteless food, and he wanted Hae-won to eat something delicious. So, he took care of that too.

Could all this have come across to Hae-won as him being determined to rely on him financially?

If that were the case…

“I remember you promised to take responsibility for me. Don’t you want to take responsibility? Is it a burden?”

Woo-jin asked why he was asking that, wondering if he was a burden.

“No. It’s not that. I can support you. I’ll work more, earn more money.”

His eyes and voice, filled with solemnity, made a grave vow. Woo-jin finally pretended to brush off his chest in relief at Hae-won’s promise.

“Then I’ll just handle the housework and support you. So it doesn’t interfere with your performing activities.”

“Huh?”

“What, is it a burden?”

“No, what I mean is…, I…”

The work he loved, he could no longer do. He had been dismissed from his prosecutor position. To be reinstated, he would have to stand trial again for a case already concluded, get a not-guilty verdict confirmed. That would require overturning the trial outcome. Realistically impossible.

Hae-won couldn’t bring himself to say with his own mouth that Woo-jin could no longer do the work he wanted. He simply lowered his gaze.

“Hyung, I’ll support you. Don’t worry about that. If you need anything, don’t feel burdened, just tell me.”

“I’ll only trust you.”

“Yeah, should I give you a card?”

Fumbling through his wallet, Hae-won handed him a card. Woo-jin took it without hesitation.

“Can I buy things I want?”

“Huh? Yeah, yeah. If there’s something you want, buy it.”

“Thank you.”

He smiled and slipped the card into his pants pocket.

“…But.”

Hesitating about something, Hae-won grabbed and fiddled with the cuff of his sleeve.

“Yeah?”

“Never mind. Buy everything you want, everything you’d like to have.”

“Our Hae-won seems to be making a lot of money. That’s reassuring.”

“I’ll earn a lot. Don’t ever worry about money. If we run out of money, I can sell my violin.”

“…What?”

Woo-jin’s eyes widened in surprise. Hae-won patted his shoulder as if it were no big deal.

“Don’t worry, if we run out of money, I can sell my violin.”

“…That’s considerably, astonishingly grateful.”

Hae-won cherished his violin to the point of not entrusting it to others, though not quite like his life. Woo-jin knew what the violin meant to Hae-won. It wasn’t just an instrument; it was part of his body.

“We have a card now, so shall we eat out? Let’s go out and have a party. Drink the wine you like too.”

He said while gathering his coat.

“I don’t really like that.”

“Yeah.”

“That wine wasn’t very tasty. I just want to eat the dinner you make. It’s the last day of the year today, so it’ll be crowded outside. It’s chaotic and I don’t like it. Let’s stay home.”

“You like white wine, don’t you? The one over a million won per bottle, what was it called? Montrachet?”

“It’s not tasty. Not really. My tastes have changed as I’ve gotten older.”

Shaking his head as if it were really not good, Hae-won quickly changed into comfortable clothes unsuitable for going out.

“I’ll shower and come out. Let’s have dinner. What is it today?”

“I haven’t prepared anything. Let’s eat out.”

“I like home-cooked food lately. Takeout isn’t as good as what you make. And if we go out on a day like today, traffic will be terrible everywhere. I’m going to wash up.”

Watching his back as he hurried into the bathroom, his lips curved into a smile as he muttered.

“I am somewhat good at cooking, you know.”

∞ ∞ ∞

The symphony’s regular vacation ended. Hae-won went to work at the concert hall. Even though Hae-won said it was fine, Woo-jin, having nothing to do and feeling bored, insisted on acting as his manager and drove Hae-won all the way to the concert hall. He told him to call when finished and drove off with the car.

Standing on the roadside where Woo-jin had dropped him off, Hae-won watched the receding tail of the car and let out a deep sigh. Then, as he turned around, he happened to bump right into the cellist getting out of a taxi.

“Hello. Did you have a good break? Happy New Year.”

Pulling out a large cello case, he greeted Hae-won cheerfully.

“Yeah.”

Accustomed to Hae-won’s attitude of responding with short answers to long greetings, he approached without showing any displeasure.

They walked together towards the concert hall practice room.

“Didn’t you rest well? You look really off.”

“I rested well. Rested too well, actually.”

“Then what’s wrong? You look like you’re worried about something.”

“…”

With a worried face, Hae-won looked intently at the cellist as if he had something to say.

“What is it? Is something wrong at home?”

“Well…”

“Tell me about it. Shall we get coffee before going in?”

Pointing to a nearby cafe, he encouraged Hae-won to speak if something was bothering him. Hae-won, holding the warm coffee the cellist bought, headed towards the practice room.

“My condition isn’t great because I drank a lot yesterday.”

“Yeah.”

“So, what’s the matter?”

“…”

Hae-won looked at the cellist again with eyes that seemed to want to say something.

“It’s okay, speak comfortably. I won’t spread rumors.”

“There’s someone I’m living with.”

“Oh, Hae-won, are you cohabiting?”

He asked teasingly.

“That person suddenly had nowhere to go… Anyway, something happened and he lost his job too.”

“A freeloader?”

“Yeah. More than a freeloader… someone I ended up living with.”

“And? Does he not contribute to living expenses at all? That must be really uncomfortable.”

The cellist grumbled about how such cases weren’t unheard of.

“It’s not like that, but anyway, I was worried it might hurt his pride, so I looked around and found him a decent position to introduce…”

“Hae-won, that’s unexpected. I thought you had zero interest in other people’s affairs. You’re kinder than I thought.”

“But he refused all of them.”

“Wow. A leech? What nerve does a person with nowhere to go and no job have to refuse offers handed to him?”

“That’s what I’m saying.”

Hae-won sighed. It wasn’t that he was burdened because Woo-jin wasn’t working. Money—he could earn it, and as long as he didn’t spend it recklessly like before, maintaining their current lifestyle posed no problem.

On the contrary, it was good. Just having Woo-jin by his side was good. Sometimes, remembering the old him who focused on work to a terrifying degree without looking back, he even thought maybe this state forever would be better. Anyway, Hae-won now had him all to himself.

“Just kick him out.”

“What?”

“Just kick him out. That’ll make him come to his senses. He’s leaning on you because he has a hill to lean against.”

“That’s not what I meant. Sigh.”

Hae-won was frustrated. That wasn’t the crux of the problem.

He was a capable man. A concentration so intense it felt tenacious, a cool patience that never rushed no matter how urgent, drive, a desire for victory that ultimately seized whatever he aimed for—these traits were so strong that he once seemed defined by them. Now, he was completely different.

It wasn’t that he disliked it. It wasn’t dislike; it was worry and regret.

Because he had ruined it. Because he had provided the cause. It was the guilt that Woo-jin had become like that because of him.

So even when he asked his father and proposed a decent position, Woo-jin refused without even hearing the conditions.

A few days ago, Bareum, a large law firm, contacted him. It didn’t seem like something his father had arranged, and the salary seemed about ten times what Hae-won earned, yet he refused.

He complained that from the start of the new year he’d been getting dirty calls that might rot his ears, and playfully insisted Hae-won purify them with a kiss.

“Don’t overthink it, just kick him out. That’ll make him come to his senses.”

“…Sigh.”

That’s not it, Hae-won just kept sighing deeply.

After dropping off Hae-won, Woo-jin immediately turned the car around. Following the address he had received, he headed out to the outskirts of Seoul. The restaurant in the remote location was a fitting place for political and business figures to meet discreetly away from prying eyes. Following the winding mountain road up, a large tiled roof came into view halfway up the mountain.

Woo-jin parked the car and got out. As he walked towards the entrance, an employee, wary of his casual attire instead of a suit, blocked his way.

“How may I help you?”

“I have a meeting scheduled. My name is Hyun Woo-jin.”

“Ah, my apologies. Please follow me this way.”

The employee’s attitude immediately softened. Following the employee, Woo-jin went inside. The cool forest air, so quiet you could hear birdsong, refreshed his chest.

“Here we are. He arrived a short while ago and is waiting.”

Woo-jin gave a single nod. He opened the door and entered. The gazes of those who had been conversing softly turned towards him.

“Ah, you’ve finally arrived.”

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Hyun Woo-jin.”

“Come in. We’ve been waiting.”

Woo-jin took off his jacket, hung it on a coat rack, and sat at the low table with open space underneath.

Those who had arrived first and were waiting for him were the Blue House Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs and the newly appointed Chief of Staff. They were people Woo-jin had never met in person, had no connection with, and weren’t among those he had investigated during his prosecutor days. Not knowing why such people wanted to meet him or their intentions, he observed them sharply.

“We ordered food on our own, is that alright?”

“I eat anything well.”

“We heard you had a hard time. How long has it been since your release?”

“About a month.”

“Have you settled any grudges?”

The Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs and the Chief of Staff took turns asking. If there were grudges to settle, he had settled them thoroughly with Hae-won, so Woo-jin answered affirmatively.

“It was a bold decision. Betting everything, including your position, couldn’t have been easy. Whether it was reckless or clever… Sometimes there are moments when you shouldn’t use your head.”

The Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs nodded while looking at Woo-jin as if talking to himself.

According to Hae-won, Woo-jin was unconditionally wrong, his sin was great, but strangely, people didn’t think that way. They sympathized with Woo-jin. They saw his decision to turn himself in as chivalrous.

Usually, if a prison sentence was sought in the first trial, the court’s pattern was to reduce it in the second trial. Considering public opinion, the plan was likely to seek two years in prison in the first trial and maintain the prison term in the second trial but grant a suspended sentence.

However, Woo-jin did not appeal. He accepted the first trial verdict. That was something neither the prosecution nor the court had anticipated, a result neither side could be fully satisfied with.

The prosecution most feared Woo-jin’s prison sentence being finalized. Only if he received a light sentence could they also seek a light sentence for the High Prosecutor’s Office Chief.

They probably agreed to seek a suspended sentence in the second trial to avoid setting a precedent. Kim Hanse likely made some efforts, but that reason probably played a part in Woo-jin receiving a pardon.

They believed Woo-jin’s acceptance of the first trial and prison sentence was an intention not to let off those implicated with him. They viewed his prison term as a dramatic narrative of a prosecutor whose sense of justice had gone too far and become extreme.

Neatly arranged dishes were placed on the table. The Chief of Staff pushed the plate of grilled pine mushrooms, of which there were only four pieces, towards Woo-jin.

“So, what do you plan to do going forward? Be a lawyer?”

“No. It doesn’t quite suit my constitution.”

“Then, join the legal team at a private company?”

“No. That also doesn’t really… I just plan to rest for the time being.”

“You have no intention of working?”

“It doesn’t suit my constitution.”

At his answer, the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs and the Chief of Staff exchanged meaningful glances and shared a secretive smile.

“You were famous as a special investigations prosecutor at the Central District Prosecutors’ Office, weren’t you?”

“The cases I handled were all like that.”

“The Prosecutor General promoted Park Hyung-soo to High Prosecutor’s Office Chief. What are your thoughts?”

“…”

There must have been more than one or two allegations, but it seemed they couldn’t oust him because there were too many protective forces within the prosecution. Woo-jin frowned.

That’s just like Kim Hanse. He should have handled it by any means necessary. Even if it was morally wrong or illegal, if such a person isn’t ousted, he ends up rising to the position of High Prosecutor’s Office Chief. That is outright aiding and abetting.

If he had pursued it to the end, Park Hyung-soo would have been rotated to an insignificant external post and retired at an unremarkable age, becoming some money-chasing lawyer or the like.

“The Minister of Justice, me… the Blue House is not pleased with High Prosecutor’s Office Chief Park Hyung-soo.”

“…”

“You’ll have to clean him up for us.”

Woo-jin raised his gaze. He looked at them.

“Why would I…”

“Join the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs Office.”

“…”

“Since you’re a former prosecutor, we’ll prepare a corresponding position for you. Think of it as gaining political experience and start from the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs Office. A capable person like you shouldn’t waste time.”

It was a proposal to join the Blue House’s direct oversight organization and enter politics.

It could pressure the Deputy Chief of the Supreme Prosecutors’ Office, possibly even control the Prosecutor General, and wield power greater than what they held.

Politics wasn’t about enforcing the law but making it, and the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs Office was where the initial review for placing people in key positions began.

“I’ll think about it.”

“No, there’s no time to think. We need to review and oust Park Hyung-soo immediately.”

“When I say I’ll think about it, it means I won’t do it.”

“What? No, why?”

As if asking why he would kick away such a good opportunity, the man who had risen to the Chief of Staff position thanks to Woo-jin asked.

“I don’t want to do that kind of work going forward.”

“I heard from Prosecutor Kim Hanse. He said to prevent the worst, you have to be worse than the worst.”

The best, at least in the world they belonged to, did not exist. It was a world teeming with the worst and the slightly better lesser evil, and Woo-jin had handled the worst with deeds even worse. It was nothing but an excuse, but he believed it was right, and before meeting Hae-won, he had not a shred of doubt in that belief. He believed he was doing the right thing.

“We view Prosecutor Hyun as the right person for the job.”

“I’m sorry. I have no intention of doing it.”

“Is there some other reason? If something is weighing on your mind, we can handle it.”

“…I just have something more important than work now. I don’t want to lose that again.”

“Don’t cut it off so decisively. We’ll give you time to think, so consider it deeply.”

The Chief of Staff patted Woo-jin’s stiffly set shoulder. Woo-jin stared down at the document envelope they handed him.

Hae-won craned his neck. The person who said they’d arrive within five minutes still hadn’t appeared even after ten minutes had passed. He considered calling but decided to wait, thinking it might be a bother while they were driving.

Maybe he waited another ten minutes or so.

Woo-jin’s car stopped at the curb in front of the concert hall boulevard.

He had often come to pick up Hae-won. This was also the first place they had done something that was hard to tell if it was a date or a threat. That day, they looked down at the night view and held hands. The fresh, thrilling contact had flustered Hae-won.

At first, he just thought he didn’t dislike it. Starting with that feeling of simply not disliking it, he gradually grew to like it more. The feeling of liking him kept growing. It swelled like a snowball.

That must have been why.

The reason he trembled with rage to the point of wanting to kill him was because he liked him too much, loved him too much, until even the hatred became an unbearable size.

As Hae-won got into the passenger seat, Woo-jin took the violin and placed it in the back seat.

“My hands got stiff from not practicing for a few days, so I was really fumbling today. Taking one day off doesn’t show, but taking several days off definitely does.”

“I won’t bother you from now on. Practice.”

During the break, because Woo-jin clung to him the whole time and wouldn’t let go, Hae-won hadn’t even taken out his violin, let alone practiced.

“What did you do today?”

“I had an appointment, met someone, cleaned, did laundry, and took care of Hae-won’s mess.”

“Hmm.”

Hae-won carefully watched Woo-jin turning the steering wheel.

“What?”

Woo-jin glanced at him sideways and asked why he was staring so intently.

“Nothing, it’s nothing.”

Did he go to an interview looking like that?

He had been happy thinking Woo-jin might finally be going to interviews, but there was no hint of any intention to get a job in Woo-jin’s attire.

“Let’s go to the department store.”

“Department store? Is there something you want to buy?”

“I just feel like shopping.”

“Don’t clutter up the officetel with useless stuff. It’s all just baggage.”

“……”

I’m saying let’s go buy a suit for your interview, Hyung.

That statement felt so much like nagging him to get a job that Hae-won couldn’t open his mouth. The position Father had suggested last time was at a really good company. If Hae-won knew about it, it must have been a fairly large company. They had also shown considerable favor towards Woo-jin, but he had refused again. He was the same person who had turned down a law firm with a salary at least ten times higher. Any offer would likely be met with indifference.

“Hyung.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m… having a bit of a hard time.”

“Huh?”

Stopping the car at a red light, Woo-jin turned to look at Hae-won.

“I wish Grandfather would get a job.”

“……”

“I don’t want to sell the violin.”

He had to play his strongest card.

He didn’t have the courage to say he didn’t want to see him like this because of himself.

He wanted to restore Hyun Woo-jin, who had been energetic about his work to the point of being called ambitious, if not entirely. He wanted the things Hae-won had done to be a turning point or a rite of passage for him to live a new life, as if he had just lost his way for a while or was going through growing pains, not as something broken and lost.

“You said you’d take responsibility.”

“I can’t, I don’t have the ability.”

“Isn’t that cruel to someone who’s been kicked out of home and has nowhere to go?”

“Do you really, really, truly not want to be a lawyer?”

“……I was trusting and feeling reassured that our Hae-won would support me. Don’t tell me you forgave me without any plan? Me, a penniless man?”

“Do you really want to be unemployed?”

“I want to live comfortably on the money Hae-won earns.”

“You called me Baby once. How can a Baby support their great-grandfather?”

“You’re not a Baby. Who called you a Baby? What lunatic.”

As Woo-jin said this with disgust, Hae-won punched his shoulder with a loud thud. The hand holding the steering wheel wobbled.

“Yeah, you do look young, but you’re neither a baby nor a college kid. Don’t say things like that anywhere. I get embarrassed.”

“It was a lie that you don’t understand emotions, right? Who said you have antisocial personality disorder? You know exactly what you’re doing now, right?”

At his teasing, playful tone, Hae-won flushed with embarrassment and thumped Woo-jin’s shoulder repeatedly.

“This level of joking can be learned. I used to wonder why people bothered with such useless talk, but trying it, it’s fun.”

“It’s not fun. You’re the only one laughing, Hyung.”

“Let’s go eat something delicious. I need to swipe the card Hae-won gave me.”

“I told you my tastes have changed. Let’s go home.”

“Let’s have some wine too. It’s been quite a while since we had wine.”

“Wine tastes bad. It’s bland and not great. Soju is the best. Let’s have soju.”

“Don’t push that garbage on me.”

“Who said even your saliva is high-class? You’re the one with the high-class tongue. Let’s have soju. I’ll buy you soju.”

Woo-jin could never win against Hae-won, who was smiling broadly and coaxing him.

Woo-jin changed the car’s direction.

Hae-won took Woo-jin to a pork belly restaurant. It was a place tasty enough to make one’s prejudice against soju disappear.

Seeing the exterior, Woo-jin wasn’t too keen, but Hae-won led him inside. As it was a popular restaurant, it was fully packed during dinner time.

“Auntie, one bottle of soju and two servings of pork belly here.”

They went to a corner table for two and ordered.

Woo-jin crossed his arms and looked down with a displeased expression at the grill and the pork belly sizzling on it.

“It’s really delicious if you eat the meat with scallion salad.”

Mixing the scallion salad dressed in a sweet, sour, spicy red sauce, Hae-won watched the meat cooking with an energy he hadn’t seen before. He was anxious to feed Woo-jin something delicious.

He placed a well-cooked piece of meat on a lettuce leaf, topped it with scallion salad, added a slice of garlic, rolled it into a round wrap, and brought it to Woo-jin’s lips.

“Is this a protest?”

“No. It’s really tasty.”

“Somehow it feels like you’re trying to mess with me. This was the menu I avoided the most during company dinners.”

“Just try it first. If you still don’t like it after eating, we’ll leave.”

He shook the wrap in his hand, urging him to eat. Without uncrossing his arms, Woo-jin opened his mouth. As Hae-won tried to put the wrap in his mouth and pull his hand back, Woo-jin quickly closed his mouth, catching Hae-won’s two fingers with his lips and licking them up.

“Ugh.”

Hae-won jerked his hand back in surprise. Seeing that, Woo-jin, who had smiled briefly, chewed what was in his mouth and gradually changed his expression.

“Tasty, right?”

“Not bad.”

Hae-won showed him a glass, saying it tastes even better with a shot of soju. Woo-jin also lightly clinked glasses and downed the soju.

Woo-jin didn’t prefer pork. Under the pretext of meals and company dinners, he often went to restaurants serving pork belly or pork ribs with colleagues and juniors, but he filled his stomach with vegetables and plain rice, hardly eating any meat.

However, this restaurant was tasty enough to satisfy Woo-jin’s picky palate. Even if he drank, he wouldn’t get drunk, so he had to eat for taste, and while it was less appealing than wine, perhaps because the side dishes were delicious, or because Hae-won was feeding him, it tasted especially good today.

Hae-won also put down his soju glass after downing it in one go and wiped the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. He even made a phew sound.

“Back when we broke up, you sent the police, remember? When I made that prank call. Was it Senior Inspector Kim Seok-ho? Or Inspector?”

“Ah, that time.”

“I was here then. Didn’t the stalker ahjussi report it?”

“He did report it.”

“If you were going to do that, why did you suggest breaking up?”

“To make sure you could never say ‘let’s break up’ again. I wanted to understand what kind of person you are, what you’re thinking, minute by minute, and make you like me more.”

Liking someone isn’t something that happens by force, manipulation, or pressure. Believing such a thing is possible itself means being naive. It showed a profound lack of understanding of people.

Because you like them, you come to like them more; because you love them, you come to love them more.

“Is a stalker still following me now?”

“No. But I am considering bribing that person who’s your manager. When you’re out of my sight, I feel anxious and curious. I worry someone might snatch you away. I need to know what you’re doing, where you are, to feel at ease.”

“Hmm… that manager would probably get bribed.”

Remembering the manager who was overjoyed by the unexpected bonus from Father, Hae-won shook his head.

Glancing at Woo-jin sitting with crossed arms, not thinking of eating anything, Hae-won made another wrap and offered it. As if asking to be fed, Woo-jin just slightly opened his mouth.

“Only today, just for today.”

Hae-won put the wrap in Woo-jin’s mouth. This time too, as Woo-jin accepted the wrap, he closed his mouth as if to eat Hae-won’s fingers as well. He insistently licked Hae-won’s two fingers with his tongue before letting go.

“Disgusting, really.”

“Exactly. Very disgusting.”

Woo-jin, who would frown if food picked up with chopsticks that had touched someone else’s saliva was placed even in his own bowl, smiled faintly at Hae-won’s disgusted expression. There might be someone who not only wanted to exchange saliva but also suck their bodily fluids.

“Hey, scammer?!”

Someone hit Hae-won’s shoulder as he was busily moving to make a meat wrap for Woo-jin. They must have been so happy to see him that Hae-won’s upper body swayed. Because of that, the meat he had just picked up with his chopsticks fell onto the table.

Hae-won turned around irritably.

“What?”

It was Ponytail. She wasn’t a regular; she must have been someone who permanently resided here. Or she was clearly the daughter of this house.

“Ah, what? It’s the ahjumma. The meat fell.”

“Ah, you really are a violinist? That’s amazing. I totally thought you were a scammer. By the way, why did you ignore my calls? You don’t come often either.”

Unable to contain her delight, Ponytail shook Hae-won’s shoulder repeatedly. Then Woo-jin smoothly stood up and removed the hand gripping Hae-won’s shoulder.

“Remove your hand and speak, please.”

“Ah, sorry. Who… who are you?”

Taking her hand off his shoulder, Ponytail asked Hae-won.

“I am Moon Hae-won’s manager.”

Just as Hae-won was about to say something, Woo-jin answered first.

Ponytail glanced at Woo-jin, who was staring fiercely, but lingered without leaving.

“Hey, scammer you, why did you ignore my calls? I was dying to brag to my friends.”

“I forgot because I got so many calls from everywhere back then.”

“Let’s take a commemorative photo. I need to brag to the kids.”

Ponytail took out her phone, bent her knees to match Hae-won’s eye level, and brought her face close to his. Holding her phone high, she filled the screen with Hae-won’s and her own face and instantly took a selfie.

“Please do not take photos without consent. Give it here.”

Woo-jin almost snatched the phone from her hand, deleted the photo, and returned it. It was Hae-won who was flustered by his cold action.

“She’s someone I know, you didn’t have to go that far…”

“It is not acceptable for Moon Hae-won’s face to remain on someone else’s phone.”

At Woo-jin’s firm tone, both Hae-won and Ponytail thought, ‘Oh, so that’s how it is,’ and nodded in understanding.

“He says no photos.”

“Then shall we push our tables together and eat?”

“Moon Hae-won also has a private life. Please let him eat in peace.”

“We already know each other, though. Right? You know me.”

“Please respect his privacy.”

Woo-jin spoke authoritatively, telling her to leave now. Ponytail looked regretfully at Hae-won, then turned away with a sullen face.

Hae-won, also subdued by Woo-jin’s intimidating aura, said to Ponytail’s retreating back in a voice that had shrunk.

“I’ll contact you later.”

“Mm, okay. Make sure you pay back the fifteen thousand won then. You ran off without paying last time.”

“Got it.”

Back then, he had been eating meat with Ponytail when Woo-jin, who treated him like a mental patient, made his anger flare up, and he had run out without even paying.

Under Woo-jin’s gaze that allowed no opening, Ponytail stealthily retreated and returned to her table. Hae-won looked awkwardly at Woo-jin. It was as if he was putting on an act in front of him. The look in Woo-jin’s eyes, completely devoid of emotion, was hard even for Hae-won to handle.

“That’s scary. Aren’t you overdoing it?”

“She put her hand on your shoulder, pressed her cheek against yours, and took a photo.”

“……”

“By my standards, it’s a capital offense.”

With a terrifying look in his eyes that couldn’t be passed off as a joke, Woo-jin stood up and went to Ponytail’s seat. He took out his wallet from his back pocket, handed twenty thousand won to her, who was looking up in panic, and returned.

“Let’s eat moderately and leave.”

“We just started eating.”

“Just quickly pick up and eat what’s cooked.”

Hae-won hurriedly put all the cooked pieces into his mouth and chewed busily.

Urged by him to hurry out, they had to leave the restaurant without finishing the ordered meat or soju.

Getting in the car, Hae-won said while gauging Woo-jin’s mood.

“I ate without knowing if the food was going into my nose or my mouth. Because Woo-jin Hyung got angry.”

“Do you really have to do broadcasts?”

He started the car with a rough hand and asked as if finally letting out words he had been holding back.

“She has nothing to do with broadcasting. We already knew each other.”

“Because you appear on broadcasts and such, people look down on you and order you around. Touching you recklessly, taking photos.”

“That level of thing happens every day. And even if I dislike it, I have to endure it. The company told me to manage my image. They say rumors spread quickly these days. Especially about being rude.”

“I need to assign someone to you.”

Having already made that decision in his heart, Woo-jin announced it as a notice. Only then could he feel at ease. Hae-won was an incomprehensible being who, if left alone, might dart off somewhere unknown.

“A stalker?”

“You can think of it that way.”

Having promised not to lie, Woo-jin informed him in advance.

“That’s a waste of money. Don’t do it. We can’t even drink wine freely now; if you have money to spend on that, save it up bit by bit.”

And use it for getting a job.

Considering his pride, Hae-won held back the latter part.

“If you don’t like people following you around, don’t schedule broadcast appearances. For performances, I can just buy all the tickets, but I can’t cover the eyes of an unspecified multitude.”

“Do you think I do it because I like it? I have to do that for us to make a living. You said you want to be unemployed, Hyung.”

“We can make a living without doing that. Do you know how much my assets are?”

“You were kicked out of home, so you probably have nothing to inherit, and you said you’re penniless. You paid huge fines and penalties too.”

Apart from the prison sentence, he had to cough up an enormous amount in fines and penalties related to tax evasion. Leaning his arm against the car window and clutching his forehead, a subtle expression appeared on his face as he looked at Hae-won.

“Are you naive or stupid?”

“What?!”

“Are you pretending to be naive or pretending not to know?”

“I’d kick you out too. You committed crimes and disgraced the family. Someone as selfish as you, Hyung, who only thinks of yourself and doesn’t even listen to others with half an ear—I’d kick you out of home too. Ms. Choi Hyun-mi did very well in that.”

“So you telling me to get a job wasn’t a joke but sincere?”

“……It’s sincere, of course.”

Woo-jin let out an exasperated sigh and asked, as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Were you the one who spread my phone number? The reason calls asking to meet keep coming at all hours—don’t tell me it’s you?”

“I gave Father a little information. Not spread, just. That there’s a prosecutor here who’s this smart, capable, was a criminal but was pardoned, from the Central District Prosecutors’ Office.”

He said it playfully, but at Woo-jin’s expressionless face that showed no intention of accepting it, Hae-won brought his two hands, which he had extended as if introducing him, neatly back onto his own lap.

“Do I make you that uncomfortable?”

“……That’s not it.”

“If not that, then.”

“Hyung… you, sir, are the most… that time is the most…”

“The most.”

“The most sexy. When you’re going to crush someone.”

“…….”

Hae-won, who had been muttering with downcast eyes, subtly rolled his pupils towards Woo-jin, who had fallen silent. Woo-jin, who had been staring intently at Hae-won, took out his phone and called somewhere.

“Yes, this is Hyun Woo-jin. Regarding the proposal you mentioned earlier, I’ll give it a try. Yes. However, please minimize media exposure. No. No need to drag it out. I can start as early as tomorrow. Then I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Ending the call with a polite voice, he said.

“Call Father. Tell him I’ve got a job now, so please don’t spread my number.”

Hae-won quickly contacted Father. He said the requested matter had been resolved well, so there was no need to look further, and please don’t recklessly give out his phone number.

After hanging up, Hae-won carefully gazed at Woo-jin, who was staring piercingly.

“Sorry for meddling. I was worried about you, Hyung…”

“Is it okay if I work?”

The fact that Hae-won had looked into job positions for him on his own without asking was already gone from Woo-jin’s mind.

“I told you not to live like that. I told you if you were going to live like that, you should die.”

“……”

“Is it really okay? You’re giving permission?”

“Permission?” Hae-won blinked as if doubting whether it was really Hyun Woo-jin who had uttered that word. It meant he would do it if Hae-won permitted, and wouldn’t if Hae-won didn’t.

“If I don’t permit it… you won’t do it?”

“I won’t. My priorities have changed.”

“Did my number change? Am I number one?”

“Higher than that. Much higher.”

“Prison… seems better than I thought. Had I known, I would’ve sent you there sooner.”

When Woo-jin glanced at him, Hae-won smiled like sunlight brightening the surroundings.

Some called him a snake.

A seductive killer, a serpent that corrupts souls and ultimately devours them.

Not someone who doesn’t know love, but a pitiful, wretched man who simply cannot feel anything like it.

Hae-won reached out and cupped Woo-jin’s cheek.

“Don’t be too cruel. Don’t hurt anyone either.”

“Sometimes that’s unavoidable. What then, if I end up doing things you hate?”

His tone was resolute—if that would give Hae-won a reason to leave, he simply wouldn’t do it.

Woo-jin’s top priority—no, the premise of his very existence, far above that—was Hae-won himself, who was both the purpose and the goal.

Moon Hae-won, that final piece, was the being that completed the incomplete and uncertain Woo-jin. Not having Hae-won was irrational, an unbearable injustice.

“Just don’t deceive me. Don’t lie, and that’s enough.”

“I won’t lie.”

Hae-won pulled Woo-jin into an embrace. That settled it—with that, it was fine, he gave permission.

“But where did you get a job?”

“The Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs Office at the Blue House.”

“…What?”

“You said you’d permit it. I won’t do anything too flashy.”

“That’s completely unexpected.”

“Me too. I didn’t think they’d look for me there.”

“How busy are you planning to be? Can’t you pick a place where you’re moderately busy?”

“I’ll leave on time and arrive on time. If possible.”

It was conditional, but a promise that Hae-won would always come before work.

“…I shouldn’t have told you to get a job. Having Hyun Woo-jin by my side wasn’t so bad after all.”

Only then, as if regretting it, Woo-jin pinched Hae-won’s cheek and lightly kissed him. Inside the car standing in the dimming darkness, a tranquil and cozy atmosphere swirled. After teasing each other’s lips, Hae-won pulled away slightly, met his eyes, and asked, “I can’t call back and say I won’t do it, right?”

“That was the Senior Secretary for Civil Affairs I just spoke to. Do you want to make me look like a lunatic?”

Even so, as if ready to call and undo it all if Hae-won disliked it, Woo-jin fumbled to take out the phone he’d tucked into his pocket. Hae-won snatched the phone from his hand and set it aside, telling him not to. As if restraining him, he quickly pulled Woo-jin back into an embrace.

“Then I don’t have to sell my violin?”

“Don’t sell it. You know how much I love that sound.”

“You’ve been secretly watching my performances, haven’t you?”

“Probably over a thousand times. I’ve memorized the conducting for that piece by now.”

“When? The one at Classic Dotori, or the Jeju Wind Festival?”

“The orchestra concerto.”

“Was it that performance that made you fall for me and follow me all the way to Jeju?”

“In that moment, it felt like nothing existed in the world except you and me.”

Woo-jin recalled that time. The moment Hae-won, projected on the large screen, settled into his heart with a resonant thump.

Gently stroking Hae-won’s face, which looked dazed as he gazed at him, Woo-jin asked,

“Do you know what people call that?”

“…What do they call it?”

The tension melted away, and every joint in his body relaxed completely.

“They call it falling.”

What had been pressing down on Woo-jin all along, making it hard to breathe, what had kept him rootless and adrift, wasn’t someone else—it was his own incomplete self.

Only that small piece called Hae-won could complete the incomplete Woo-jin.

“Where, into drugs?”

“Drugs? I said in that moment, it felt like only you and I existed in the world.”

“Ah, right. Gambling? Or falling into alcoholism?”

Embarrassed and shy, Hae-won pretended not to know what he wanted to say, even though he understood. Realizing this belatedly, Woo-jin grinned.

“No, into love.”

“…”

“Falling in love—that’s what they say.”

With an innocent gaze that had let go of all worries, he softly looked at Hae-won.

Woo-jin humbly acknowledged that the collapse of his emotions was love.

“Now that I’ve experienced it myself, I understand. That saying was true.”

“You had to experience it to know?”

“I… yes.”

Because it was you that I fell in love with, Hae-won accepted Woo-jin’s existence—something only he could handle, only he could save—and brought his lips to Woo-jin’s.

Woo-jin’s eyes also gently closed. He parted his lips and met Hae-won.

This profound peace was the journey he would live from now on.

A perfection that was neither barren nor desolate, but warm and cold like accumulated winter snow, transparent like ice crystals.

A world where no one could enter or leave, where only one person was uniquely permitted.

Into the Thrill Part 2 Fin