By Zephyria 
Chapter 3
For two weeks, he was unable to reply to Seo Hae-young. Seo Hae-young, who would usually call if there was no response until he finally got one, was terrifyingly silent this time. As the days passed without his phone ringing, Hae-won grew increasingly anxious. Even Tae-gyeom had stopped contacting him.
During those agonizing fourteen days, Hae-won quit his job at the convenience store and found a new part-time job. He couldn’t stay still because of the anxiety. Sitting alone in a convenience store where he had to spend time staring blankly whenever there were no customers made him feel like he was losing his mind. He once got a severe scolding from the manager for doing nothing but chewing on his fingernails and staring at his silent phone.
Days followed where he would bring up Seo Hae-young’s phone number on his screen and hesitate hundreds of times. He lingered until his bitten thumb began to bleed. He wished he could just be frantically busy. It was then that he happened to hear from Hyun-jeong. She was Joo Hyun-woo’s Noona.
“Hae-won!”
“…Yes!”
If one leaves home and walks past Seo Hae-young’s house for about fifteen more minutes, there is an area lined with shops along the street. It is quiet during the day, but as the sun sets, the shops open; they are mostly atmospheric pubs or bars.
Hyun-jeong ran a pub located close to the roadside, and whenever he visited, she suggested he work there. Even Hyun-woo pushed him to do it, but Hae-won shook his head awkwardly, feeling like it was too much of a handout. Despite several refusals, the sly Hyun-jeong reached out with a suggestion and a greeting. This time, he didn’t have the luxury to refuse. In fact, he was simply grateful.
“This is for table 3. This one is for table 8.”
Holding white plates neatly filled with appetizers in both hands, he crossed the dark space toward the tables.
“Your food is here.”
“Ah! Thank you.”
They were clearly a couple on a date. He passed the two of them, who were smiling happily, and turned toward another table. On a busy Saturday evening, he could spend his time as frantically as he wanted. Thanks to that, he was able to forget about Seo Hae-young for a very brief moment.
He took the constant stream of orders, served the food, and handled the payments. There were only three employees roaming the hall, but they were definitely short-handed. Hyun-woo had mentioned in passing that business was doing well, and it truly was crowded.
During his rotation break, Hae-won stepped out the back door and checked his phone first. As expected, there was no message from Seo Hae-young. After some deliberation, he hesitantly tapped the screen.
[Hey. I got a new job]
No. That looks weird. He deleted the completed text and wrote it again.
[I’m working at Hyun-jeong Noona’s place]
Ah. Joo Hyun-woo. Hyun-jeong tended to be fond of Seo Hae-young as well, and if the two of them talked, the lie might be discovered. That would be troublesome. Hae-won let out an annoyed sigh. He shouldn’t have mentioned Joo Hyun-woo. He deleted the text again and, closing his eyes, sent a message he wrote in one go.
[Want to hang out tomorrow?]
Ah. It sounds too much like a demand. Feeling like he had sent it needlessly, he stamped his feet anxiously, but the read receipt appeared immediately. And in less than ten seconds, a reply flew back.
[Sure]
“Wow…”
Hae-won gripped his phone tightly with both hands and let out a silent cheer. He was saved. A bright smile appeared on his face, which had been full of worry.
Hyun-jeong’s pub started at 6 PM and ended at 2 AM. On the condition that he worked full-time and took charge of the final cleaning, Hyun-jeong paid him a quite high hourly wage. She gave him several white shirts and black dress pants as uniforms, and he couldn’t exactly refuse them. Since Hyun-jeong had always pitied his situation and had even attended his father’s funeral, Hae-won didn’t refuse and expressed his gratitude.
Hyun-jeong was a free-spirited CEO who only showed her face occasionally, but her fiery personality remained.
“Oh, our Hae-won! I finally get to have you work here.”
“I survived thanks to you, Noona.”
After the pub closed, a drinking party unfolded at the table with the best view. In the early morning hours after all the employees had gone home, Hae-won—trapped between Joo Hyun-woo, who had hugged him shouting the moment he entered the shop, and Joo Hyun-jeong, who embraced him from behind—burst into a loud laugh for the first time in a while. Dragged along and forced to drink until his cheeks were already flushed, Hae-won chuckled. He was happy for the first time in a long while.
“Is the work hard? You look completely haggard.”
Resting his chin on his hand, Hyun-woo scanned Hae-won, who was dressed neatly. Thanks to Hyun-jeong, who had picked out some quite nice clothes, his already handsome face shone. The comment about being haggard was just a casual remark.
“No, I like it. It’s busy.”
His pleasant voice was the same as always. As was the atmosphere, which felt natural even after a year.
While the three of them were in the middle of chatting and laughing about their recent lives, Hyun-jeong checked her phone and let out an annoyed “Ah!”
“I have to go. Your brother-in-law is nagging me so much. Ugh…”
“Tell him the business isn’t over yet, Noona,” Hae-won said, eating a piece of roughly sliced apple, showing his reluctance to part. Hyun-jeong lowered her eyebrows. Calling him a ‘cute brat,’ she pinched his plump cheek thoroughly before grabbing her bag and standing up.
“I wish I could. You two drink more before you go. Clean up well and lock the doors. Okay?”
“Should I walk you home? Do you need a designated driver?”
Hyun-woo, who had set down his beer glass, shook his hands and picked up his phone, but Hyun-jeong shook her head with a look of exhaustion.
“He’s already here. I’m off!”
After seeing Hyun-jeong to the door, the two returned and continued their interrupted conversation while sipping the remaining beer. Small talk about Hyun-jeong and her husband, who were a good couple despite their constant bickering, and stories about what kind of nuisances had caused trouble at the convenience store. The conversation, which had been flowing like water, eventually reached an unwelcome topic.
“What about Seo Hae-young? It’s break; is he still shut up in his house?”
“Ah… yeah. He’s always just playing around.”
He’s probably sleeping now. Since the reply came at 11, he must have gone to sleep as soon as he sent it. What is he thinking? He probably noticed the lie. But why did he reply?
“…Won-ah, Yoon Hae-won!”
“Huh?”
Having been lost in other thoughts, he looked up to find Hyun-woo smiling faintly. A gentle smile bloomed on his nicely tanned face. Hae-won smiled back and popped the remaining apple into his mouth.
Joo Hyun-woo.
If Go Tae-gyeom was close to Seo Hae-young, Joo Hyun-woo was close to Hae-won. That’s how it happened when Hyun-woo, who was originally just Tae-gyeom’s friend, started coming in and out of Hae-won’s small, shabby house as if it were his own. Every time he visited, he brought heaps of fruit, and Hae-won had a habit of letting that fruit rot in the refrigerator. Not on purpose, but because he missed the timing to eat it. Then, the next time Hyun-woo visited, he would scold him while cleaning it up. He was a naturally easygoing and kind guy.
“I heard you meet Go Tae-gyeom often?”
Hae-won froze with the apple still in his mouth.
“…Me and Go Tae-gyeom?”
“Yeah. I contacted him a few days ago, and he said he was hanging out with you.”
No. Go Tae-gyeom had gone silent along with Seo Hae-young two weeks ago. They weren’t in a relationship where they would contact each other on purpose; in fact, he hoped the phone wouldn’t ring. He had carefully folded the clothes he had accidentally washed and thrown them in the trash, tying the end of the garbage bag tightly that night.
Hae-won, having swallowed the apple, smiled awkwardly. Even if he took a serious tone and asked what he was talking about, it would just be taking his anger out on the innocent Hyun-woo.
“Ah, that’s right. I drank so much I forgot…”
“Stop drinking so much and make sure you eat.”
Saying that he was getting thinner by the day, Hyun-woo tossed a piece of dried snack at him. Even though a peanut hit his forehead and fell off, he didn’t feel bad, but something felt off. A premonition that something was going wrong. He didn’t know what it was yet. It must be his imagination. Hae-won clinked glasses with Hyun-woo and gulped down the cold beer.
The simple drinking session ended around 3 AM. Thanks to Hyun-woo, Hae-won finished the cleanup quickly, locked the back door, and took the keys. Hyun-woo, who had been carrying the bags for him, reached out with an “Uh,” and grabbed the shoulder of the staggering Hae-won.
He knew it from the moment Hae-won started pouring drinks despite not being able to handle alcohol. Hyun-woo steadied the giggling Hae-won and pushed him from behind toward the familiar house. Supporting Hae-won’s back and walking slowly, Hyun-woo spoke.
“Let’s just see each other in the morning from now on.”
“Why? I like the night.”
Since his day and night had been swapped for a long time, the night was familiar to Hae-won, who usually woke up late in the afternoon, except for when he visited Seo Hae-young. Hyun-woo patted the shoulder of the lightly drunken Hae-won.
“What do we do but drink when we meet at night?”
“That’s true.”
Mumbling with glazed eyes, Hae-won kept misstepping as they climbed the steep slope. Having no choice, Hyun-woo draped Hae-won’s arm over his shoulder and hugged his waist, unconsciously inhaling the cozy scent that wafted over. It used to smell sweeter than this; time must have passed. A bittersweet smile hung on Hyun-woo’s lips.
Supporting the stumbling Hae-won, Hyun-woo arrived in front of the house, found the key in the bags, inserted it into the hole, and turned it. The lock only opened if you gave it a strong, sudden turn. When they were young, he hadn’t known that and had fumbled with it, making Hae-won sigh deeply.
Entering the open door together, Hyun-woo lightly stepped on the heel of Hae-won’s sneakers to help him take them off and dragged him into the room.
“Ah… I’m tired… How do I go home…”
Hyun-woo laid Hae-won, whose eyes were closing as if he were about to fall asleep, on the floor and caught his own ragged breath. Even if he was thin, he was an adult man; just supporting him had drained his stamina. Hyun-woo stretched out his legs, flicked his feet, and looked around.
It was the same. Yoon Hae-won’s space, which he used as a hideout on days he didn’t want to go home. The reason he visited so often wasn’t simply because it was comfortable. If anything, it was uncomfortable. Still, there was a reason he had to come.
Glancing to the side, Hyun-woo saw Hae-won fiddling with his buttons as if the shirt were uncomfortable and reached out. Hae-won frowned and tossed and turned.
“The shirt is uncomfortable…”
He had to wear a white shirt with the sleeves neatly rolled up all four seasons. This was so-called ‘Hyun-jeong’s business rule.’ Hyun-jeong took pride in filling both the kitchen and the hall with tall, handsome boys. She said her eyes opened whenever she left her shabby husband and came to the shop. He remembered Hyun-jeong dancing a few days ago, saying she had finally caught a big fish she had been eyeing since Hae-won was eighteen, and he let out a laugh.
“Noona is just like that. If your brother-in-law dies, he’ll probably leave behind a Buddhist relic from all the stress.”
As Hyun-woo unbuttoned the shirt one by one, he paused upon discovering the white t-shirt worn underneath.
Isn’t he hot? Why not just take it off? Startled by the sudden thought, Hyun-woo shook his head vigorously to shake off the strange words and finished removing the shirt. After folding the white shirt roughly and setting it aside, he turned his head to see Hae-won struggling with his pants.
“Hey… this, the belt…”
With his hands hanging limp, Hae-won closed his eyes and chuckled. Hyun-woo licked his dry mouth. His eyes wandered around the cluttered small room before returning to Hae-won, who was acting drunk and kicking his legs. He slowly reached out and loosened the belt. The thumping of his heart echoed in his ears. A desire he was certain had died out long ago suddenly knocked on the door.
“…Done?”
Without answering, Hae-won slightly lifted his hips. His weak hand gestured on the floor. As if telling him to take them off quickly.
“Haa…”
Letting out a deep sigh, Hyun-woo hesitated before grabbing the waistband and pulling the pants down. He wondered if there would be another pair of pants underneath, but tight-fitting underwear immediately appeared. They were short black drawers. He carefully slid the pants off down the smooth, straight legs. Once they reached the ankles, Hae-won kicked the crumpled pants away. Only Hyun-woo’s hand remained in the air, awkwardly curling and unfolding.
Freed from the uncomfortable clothes, Hae-won lightly tapped Hyun-woo’s knee with his foot as he lingered. Since he lived in a similar area to Seo Hae-young, it was a walkable distance, but thinking that Hyun-woo seemed reluctant, he tapped the floor.
“You can stay the night.”
“…Huh?”
Hyun-woo widened his eyes and tore his gaze away from the long legs. With an expression that said ‘What’s wrong with this guy?’, Hae-won rolled his dizzy body and staggered to his feet. He had to brush his teeth before sleeping. It would be a disaster to get a cavity just because he was lazy. He didn’t have money for the dentist.
“You always stay the night. The toothbrush is in the drawer.”
Staring blankly at Hae-won’s buttocks as he disappeared into the bathroom, Hyun-woo slapped his own cheek.
Get it together. I don’t like men’s butts. Repeating this to himself, he crawled toward the drawer. Opening the first compartment and searching for a new toothbrush, Hyun-woo’s eyes suddenly narrowed. Passing by a pack of six toothbrushes, he picked up a condom box. Tilting his head, he opened it to find five remaining. He checked the box again. 10 count.
Then he used five…
Yoon Hae-won? …With whom?
Hyun-woo was confused. Beside Hae-won, who had fallen fast asleep without even drying himself after coming out of the wash, Hyun-woo bit his lip while fiddling with the condom box. He spent the night beside Hae-won, who breathed softly in his sleep without snoring. Just as Hae-won must have done with Seo Hae-young by his side.
Condoms are important. More important than anything when having sex. But with whom? Condoms are a necessity. With whom? To have used five out of ten. Does that mean he did it five times? But with whom?
He agonized, clutching his head. Did he like Yoon Hae-won?
He could be certain. He didn’t.
He had simply experienced a very brief period of sexual identity confusion common during puberty. Yoon Hae-won was handsome, quite athletic, good at games except for rock-paper-scissors, and had a decent, calm personality. Although, for something called ‘brief,’ he had come in and out of this house for years until the threshold wore down.
Somehow, he had fled abroad immediately after graduation and had once gotten heavily drunk at a gay bar his friends dragged him to. After that, while dating women occasionally, he gained certainty. It was just a momentary confusion. Yoon Hae-won was handsome, so he had simply wanted to try piercing that handsome guy’s ass once.
“Fuck…”
But why. Why was he curious about Yoon Hae-won’s ass again now? And while looking at a condom box, no less.
* * *
After taking a light shower, Hae-won scanned Joo Hyun-woo, who was drying his hair and getting dressed. He had lent him the largest clothes, but even those were a perfect fit for Hyun-woo. He wondered if he had only gone to play since being sent to study abroad; tanned skin and well-defined muscles were hidden beneath the t-shirt.
“Hey. What exercise do you do?”
“…Huh?”
Turning around, Hyun-woo hurriedly shifted his gaze upon seeing Hae-won wearing only drawers. Hae-won approached nonchalantly, tapping Hyun-woo’s broad shoulders and turning him around to look.
“I want to be like this too.”
If he built a great body and appeared impressively, wouldn’t Seo Hae-young look at him at least once? He probably wouldn’t be interested, though. The feelings he had kept to himself and nurtured alone kept him falling into vain delusions. Just in case.
“Did you say you did surfing?”
“Uh, yeah… Want to go together next time?”
“I don’t have a passport, you idiot.”
As Hae-won turned away with a laugh, Hyun-woo muttered, “You have one in Korea too…”, then suddenly shut his mouth. There were bruises all over the pale expanse of his back. Small marks, turning brown as they were about to disappear, were clearly hickeys created by lips sucking the skin.
After locking the front door, Hae-won rolled up his shirt sleeves. He intended to stop by Seo Hae-young’s house and then go straight to the shop, but he felt extremely uncomfortable. He tapped the arm of the silent Hyun-woo and walked ahead. Looking back at the silently following Hyun-woo, he carefully started a conversation.
“Hyun-woo. Do me a favor.”
“…Yeah?”
Hyun-woo, who had been staring intently at Hae-won’s back, was still puzzled even when facing him.
Do people usually… do that on the back? To put lips on the back, you’d have to be behind… usually from behind. He thought he saw bruises from hands too. No, he must have seen wrong. It’s not easy to bruise with ordinary strength; to leave handprints, you’d have to squeeze hard.
Unaware that Hyun-woo was lost in other thoughts, Hae-won rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and continued.
“Um, two weeks ago… please say that you stopped by my house for a bit.”
“House? To whom?”
“No, just… if Seo Hae-young asks. Can you do that?”
“Well, sure. But…”
Hyun-woo nodded, not realizing it was a strange request. It was because his attention was entirely focused elsewhere. Unable to contain his curiosity, Hyun-woo glanced at Hae-won as they walked and asked as if in passing.
“Do you have a girlfriend? Someone you’re dating…”
As soon as he heard Hyun-woo’s question, Hae-won, who was walking toward Seo Hae-young’s house, grimaced. He looked as if he found the question ridiculous.
“As if.”
Hae-won dragged the somewhat dazed Hyun-woo along until they arrived in front of Seo Hae-young’s house. Joo Hyun-woo was a sacrifice. A sacrifice to be thrown to Go Tae-gyeom. Since it would be a disaster if Seo Hae-young were with Tae-gyeom, Hae-won had used the excuse of visiting after a long time. His palms grew sweaty the moment he pressed the doorbell. The door opened.
Hae-won told Hyun-woo, who said he wanted to stop by the bathroom first, to come up to the second floor, and then he slowly climbed the stairs.
Why had there been no contact for two weeks?
A box of condoms. Gel. A man’s belt.
It was a strange combination for a man to have left behind after visiting another man’s house. Still, Seo Hae-young was the kind of guy who couldn’t even conceive of what two men would do together, so he might not know. He had to not know.
About a month ago, Hae-won had wished that the moment he walked down the hallway with Seo Hae-young would never end, and today was no different. That day was fluttering; today was fearful. He walked slowly, like a child afraid of being scolded, but before he knew it, he was in front of Seo Hae-young’s room. The door was open. Hae-won clenched and unclenched his fists, let out a long breath, and stepped forward with heavy feet.
“Seo Hae… young.”
The corners of his mouth, which had awkwardly quirked up, plummeted instantly.
Seo Hae-young on the bed. Go Tae-gyeom under the air conditioner. He knew it would be like this. Letting out a short sigh, Hae-won hesitated for a moment as he tried to enter the room. The atmosphere was strange.
Tae-gyeom, whom he expected to wear a hateful sneer the moment he saw him, stared blankly with an expressionless face, and Seo Hae-young, whom he thought would be lying with his back turned, was quietly gazing at him while leaning against the headboard.
Two pairs of eyes, four eyeballs, were fixed on him standing at the doorway. Hae-won fiddled with his short-trimmed nails with his thumb and slowly shifted his gaze. From Seo Hae-young to Tae-gyeom. And then back again.
Right. The atmosphere was strange. Instinctively, he read Seo Hae-young’s expression. Inside those pretty eyes, there was no contempt or hatred. However… Hae-won instinctively took a step back. The emotion he felt in that instant was terror. A terror that a hand would suddenly reach out, snatch the back of his neck, and drag him into the darkness. He felt like he shouldn’t go in right now. As he hesitated, unable to find his bearings, a cheerful voice rang out.
“Hey! Go Tae-gyeom!”
It was Joo Hyun-woo, who had come up to the second floor, who broke the eerie atmosphere. Hyun-woo waved his arms and brushed past the frozen Hae-won, jumping into the room. Only then did Hae-won release the breath he had been holding.
What happened during those two weeks of silence? Why are they looking at me like that…?
After exchanging light greetings with Seo Hae-young, Hyun-woo—just as Hae-won had hoped—grabbed Tae-gyeom and continued a noisy conversation. Half of the conversation consisted of curses, but Hae-won couldn’t hear them. He carefully entered the room and stood before the bed. Seo Hae-young looked up at him with that pretty face. His heart hammered presumptuously.
“…Seo Hae-young.”
“You’re calling me so coldly.”
Seo Hae-young smiled, but there was something unsettling about it. Fiddling with the back of his neck, where goosebumps still lingered, he called his name again.
“…Hae-young.”
“What?”
“A moment.”
He gestured outside with his eyes, but in truth, he didn’t know what to say.
Why didn’t you contact me? Condoms, those could just be at home. The gel and the belt… those could just be there too. Why didn’t you contact me over something like that? You always send weird photos. I’m good at replying. Maybe… are you tired of me too? Things like that, pathetic things. Things he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud.
Blinking silently, Seo Hae-young slowly rose from the bed and headed toward the hallway. Having called him, Hae-won found himself following behind, chasing Seo Hae-young into the next room. It was a room called a study but used as a storage room.
After closing the door, Hae-won approached Seo Hae-young, who was perched on a chair. He stopped five steps away, but Seo Hae-young gestured toward the desk with his head.
“Sit.”
Hae-won went to the desk Seo Hae-young pointed to and perched himself on it. As he picked up a framed graduation photo and traced it meaninglessly, he felt a light weight on his thigh. A large hand brushed from his thigh, wrapped in thin fabric, down to his knee and then dropped away.
“Why did you dress up so prettily?”
“Uh…? Ah. Is this… okay…?”
Setting the frame down, Hae-won pressed down the corners of his mouth that were trying to curl up and fumbled with his crisp shirt. He felt his ears burning, thinking he had been dressing too sloppily lately. At the unexpected compliment, the heart full of worry evaporated in an instant.
I should always dress like this. Gratitude toward Hyun-jeong welled up. Knowing he didn’t have clothes like this, Hyun-jeong had bought him plenty under the guise of gifts; Hae-won had been inwardly grateful and had even acted cute toward him. He liked Hyun-jeong’s boisterous laughter. If Hyun-jeong stopped by the shop today, he might even give him a kiss.
While forcing his twisting body to stay still, Seo Hae-young rolled his chair closer and positioned himself directly in front. Hae-won’s legs fit snugly between Seo Hae-young’s parted legs. Fiddling with his earlobe, Hae-won quietly recounted what had happened over the past two weeks. That he had quit the convenience store and was now working at Hyun-jeong’s shop. That he was wearing the uniform because he planned to go straight there after visiting.
“Is that so?”
Seo Hae-young, who had been listening quietly, asked back, and Hae-won nodded. It seemed the strange atmosphere he felt earlier was just a misunderstanding born of fear. He’s the same as usual, after all. It didn’t seem necessary to make an absurd excuse. Finally, he met his eyes and beamed. He loved it. Seo Hae-young. And the reality that he could still be by his side. As he smiled foolishly, a smile also touched Seo Hae-young’s lips. Soon, those red lips parted.
“Hae-won.”
“Yeah?”
“Do this. Eeee.”
Seo Hae-young clenched his teeth, making an ‘eee’ sound. Startled, Hae-won followed suit, looking up as Seo Hae-young rose from the chair. Seo Hae-young lightly lifted Hae-won’s chin with his fingertips to check, then pushed the chair away with his foot.
“Clench them harder.”
“Huh…?”
Hae-won’s eyes darted around. He didn’t understand. He was just looking at the calmly standing Seo Hae-young, and then it happened in the blink of an eye. A palm flew and struck his cheek. With a loud slap, his upper body whipped around.
“Ugh…!”
His perched body swayed. Reflexively grabbing the desk to support himself from falling to the floor, Hae-won was stunned, unable to even cover the cheek that had been hit. A ringing sound—beee—echoed in his left ear. It had been struck hard enough to make his skull vibrate. Seo Hae-young, who turned Hae-won’s head back to the center, spoke while looking at the cheek that was already turning bright red.
“How many hits do you want?”
He couldn’t hear well. With a dizzying vision, Hae-won stared blankly up at Seo Hae-young.
“Why… .”
He had only been hit once with a palm, but the taste of blood lingered in his burst mouth. His wandering gaze shifted, and a stale memory flashed back. Dusting it off and uncovering it, a blurry but intense moment was drawn.
It wasn’t the first time he had been hit by Seo Hae-young. Was it in middle school? He had made a new friend. A classmate. At the time, he had been so excited by the change in environment that he naturally became neglectful of Seo Hae-young. Since they lived in the same direction, he started commuting to and from school with the new friend instead of Seo Hae-young, and the weekends were the same. After shaking his head more than three times when Seo Hae-young told him to come over, Seo Hae-young called him out. Where? To the empty music room.
He got beaten half to death that day. There was a significant difference in build between Seo Hae-young, who was swimming at the time, and Hae-won, who grew up being beaten by his father; Hae-won couldn’t put up a fight and ended up sprawled out. Seo Hae-young crouched beside the pulverized Hae-won and gave him a few warnings.
Do not ignore messages. Do not refuse when told to come over. Be obedient.
Whether it was giving the poison and then the medicine, as soon as Hae-won nodded in agreement, Seo Hae-young dragged him home, gave him clumsy treatment, and smiled foolishly while feeding him chocolates as a reward. After that day of eating sweet chocolate with a swollen face, he had never been hit again. Because he had followed Seo Hae-young’s warnings well.
The relationship with the new friend fizzled out shortly after, and he returned to his routine. Commuting with Seo Hae-young, and spending weekends at Seo Hae-young’s house playing video games—a normal daily life.
Was he angry or did he feel it was unfair? Not really. Hae-won was submissive by nature. If anything, his environment had made him submissive. The longer he was exposed to violence, the more numb he became. A father who grabbed him like a rat whenever he drank, thugs who picked fights calling him a beggar, bosses with a habit of hitting.
Among students, Seo Hae-young would willingly cover for him even if they traded punches, but there were far more opponents he couldn’t do that with. Realizing this, Hae-won simply shook it off even after being hit again and again. Crying or getting angry about the unfairness solved nothing. It was easier to just take the hit cleanly and be done with it.
At some point, the mechanism in Hae-won that would resist violence to protect himself and teach him the correct response had broken. Though he didn’t know it himself.
“Answer me. How many hits do you want?”
And now. After several years, he had been slapped by Seo Hae-young. Slowly regaining his senses, Hae-won rubbed his burst lip with the back of his hand. Fiddling with the blood-stained back of his hand with his other hand, he stole a glance upward.
“…Because I didn’t reply?”
I was too scared to do it first. I didn’t want to be thrown away pathetically. If you had just given me one call, I would have run here barefoot… The more he swallowed the words he couldn’t say, the more he shrank. Seo Hae-young tilted his head and lifted Hae-won’s head, which was drooping downward.
“So, how many?”
“I have to go to my part-time job… .”
He’d be a sight to behold serving with a bruised face. Not replying was his fault, and in these kinds of fights, the person who likes the other more is the one who loses. Even knowing Seo Hae-young’s habit of hitting was foul, liking him was also his own fault. Fidgeting with his fingers, he read Seo Hae-young’s expression. Consumed by confusion, Hae-won couldn’t even conceive of the option to ‘get angry and ask why he was hitting him.’
“I’m sorry. I’ll reply well from now on.”
“No-.”
Seo Hae-young shook his head.
“How many.”
Hae-won bit his burst lip and felt a stinging pain. He didn’t seem to have any intention of letting it slide. After the palm comes the fist, and after that, the kick. If he could end it with just a few slaps to the cheek, that would be a relief. Hae-won slowly held up three fingers. Looking down at the fingers spread neatly on his thigh, Seo Hae-young raised an eyebrow.
“Three?”
As soon as Hae-won, with lips pressed tight, nodded, a palm flew. A long arm soared high and struck the cheek in an instant.
One.
“Ugh…!”
A smack echoed through the study. Hae-won, whose not only head but upper body had turned, gasped for air. Having not been hit in a long time, he couldn’t easily adapt to the pain. It hurt twice as much as when his father used to strike him in the distant past.
“Huu… .”
He forced himself to swallow the pain by biting his lower lip, but he couldn’t properly steady his shaking body. Seo Hae-young grabbed the back of the neck of Hae-won, who was powerless after just one hit.
“Eeee— do it. Don’t bite your lip.”
As soon as Hae-won, belatedly coming to his senses, managed to clench his teeth, the slaps followed in succession. At a constant speed, with constant force, only on the left cheek.
Two.
“Ugh…!”
Hae-won closed his eyes tight and endured, clenching his fists. Tears welled up.
Three.
The palm, without reducing its force even slightly until the end, struck the cheek. This time, not even a groan escaped. Even after the hand holding his neck let go, Hae-won couldn’t open his eyes. It felt as if his shocked brain was rattling around inside his head.
Having delivered three clean hits, Seo Hae-young snapped his fingers—snap—next to Hae-won’s left ear, who was trembling with teeth clenched. Then, he immediately snapped his fingers once more—snap—next to the right ear.
“Can you hear me?”
His left ear was ringing—zing—and he felt dizzy, but he could mostly hear the sound. Hae-won nodded with his eyes closed.
“…Yes.”
“Ah.”
Following the thumb pressing his lip, he obediently opened his mouth. Seo Hae-young, leaning down to check inside the mouth, looked with satisfaction at Hae-won’s bright red cheek and then rummaged through the desk drawer. Picking up a single piece of chocolate and unwrapping it, Seo Hae-young pushed the square-shaped brown chocolate between Hae-won’s bleeding lips and whispered.
“Reply well.”
“…Okay.”
Hae-won answered meekly, rolling the chocolate that melted softly on his tongue. Looking at the eyelashes wet with tears, Seo Hae-young murmured in a low voice.
“Wipe your tears.”
Hae-won immediately wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. They were tears that had pooled naturally because of the pain. Seo Hae-young, with the hand that had struck the cheek so hard, ruffled Hae-won’s light-colored hair and smiled pleasantly.
“I didn’t even hit you that hard, why are you crying?”
He had hit him moderately, avoiding the nose and ears, yet he barely suppressed a laugh seeing Hae-won show tears while he gently patted the cheek. Feeling a momentary pang of pity, Seo Hae-young comforted him in his usual kind tone before pulling away.
“Let’s eat. You haven’t eaten, right?”
Hae-won, barely opening his eyes that wouldn’t open easily, rose from the desk. Waiting for Hae-won, who approached while tapping the ear where the ringing persisted, Seo Hae-young draped an arm over the gentle friend’s shoulder as soon as the distance closed.
As soon as the two stepped out of the room, they ran into Hyun-woo, who was about to go downstairs. Seeing Hae-won’s face, Hyun-woo’s eyes widened as much as they possibly could. Tae-gyeom, who followed behind, also saw Hae-won’s bright red cheek and laughed playfully, saying, “Wow.”
“Hey…! What happened to your face!”
Only Hyun-woo stomped his feet, reaching out toward Hae-won’s face. Avoiding the approaching hand, Hae-won spoke nonchalantly. His burst lip throbbed.
“We fought. And we made up.”
“That’s right. Yoon Hae-won did something wrong to me.”
Seo Hae-young, who had his arm around his shoulder, added with a casual smile. Hyun-woo scanned Seo Hae-young up and down, frowning. It seemed he hadn’t yet fixed the habit of his hands moving first whenever he was displeased.
“You crazy bastard. Does that mean you beat the kid? Fix your habits… .”
“Yoon Hae-won says it’s okay, so why?”
Every time Seo Hae-young answered while gently stroking his shoulder, Hae-won was swept by complex emotions. He felt fluttered and his heart raced at the touch, yet his swollen cheek hurt. His brain, unable to find its place, brought up sorrow before anger. He felt gloomy.
Slipping out of the arm wrapped around his shoulder like flowing water, Hae-won descended the stairs alone. Hyun-woo, who tried to follow, turned his head toward the finger poking his shoulder. It was Seo Hae-young. Seo Hae-young pointed toward the end of the hallway and smiled with an inscrutable expression. Looking back at the stairs Hae-won had descended, Hyun-woo took reluctant steps following Seo Hae-young.
* * *
Without even touching his swollen cheek, Hae-won passed the large dining table right in front of the window and entered the auxiliary kitchen with familiarity.
Seo Hae-young’s parents were often away from home. There were countless times he wouldn’t encounter them even if he visited throughout the entire month. His older sisters had moved out long ago, and the only person who came and went was the man who managed the large house. The man would stop by during the day to clean and stock the refrigerator before leaving quickly, and the laziness-prone Seo Hae-young often went hungry or made do with something simple.
He hadn’t visited for two weeks; had he been eating well? It was ridiculous that he worried about Seo Hae-young even after being hit, but he didn’t want to think too deeply. He was simply the one in the wrong, and Seo Hae-young had only given him a warning.
Swallowing the surge of sorrow, Hae-won opened the refrigerator and pondered the menu while scanning the neatly organized side dishes and ingredients. Since Seo Hae-young ate whatever he was given, he just had to make something he wanted to eat.
What should I eat? As he leaned over to check the vegetable drawer, something touched his buttocks. Before he could look back, a thick arm pulled his waist, pressing their lower bodies tightly together.
“I want grilled eel.”
It was Go Tae-gyeom. Stiffening at the unpleasant sensation, Hae-won replied insincerely while looking at an unopened cabbage.
“Can you see any eel in your eyes? I don’t see any in mine.”
“Hyung-ah has no energy lately. I need to see our Hae-won absolutely loving me again.”
Tae-gyeom, completely ignoring the sarcasm, chuckled while rubbing his forehead against Hae-won’s shoulder. Hae-won, who had been clenching his teeth to suppress his anger, suddenly turned around and smacked Tae-gyeom’s head with the cabbage he was holding. Tae-gyeom cried out “Ah!” and smiled slyly while rubbing his hit forehead.
“Then how about Samgyetang?”
“You’re dead… .”
Scanning Tae-gyeom with a pathetic look, he threw the deformed cabbage back into the vegetable drawer. He couldn’t make Samgyetang or grilled eel, and even if he could, there was no way it would enter Go Tae-gyeom’s mouth.
With a deep sigh, he searched the refrigerator and found a few cleaned fish. They were of different types. Since Seo Hae-young couldn’t distinguish the taste between mackerel or rockfish anyway, he pondered for a moment and picked the rockfish.
Irritated, Hae-won pushed aside Tae-gyeom, who was lingering and blocking his path, and began preparing to grill fish on the counter. Unlike his own cramped home, where cooking felt like fighting a war, he had always liked this spacious countertop.
“Hey, hey. Hae-won.”
If he had ignored him, Tae-gyeom should have just left, but he was relentless in grating on his nerves. Hae-won looked down at the arms wrapping around his waist from behind and threw the green onion he was holding. He had just been slapped across the face because of this guy. He couldn’t help but want to curse.
“……What. Fuck, what the hell do you want.”
“That must hurt. Seo Hae-young hits damn hard.”
Tae-gyeom, resting his chin on Hae-won’s shoulder, touched the reddened, swollen cheek. That wasn’t all. He subtly moved his hips, rubbing his genitals against Hae-won’s buttocks. Hae-won leaned against the counter and hung his head low.
“Actually, it must have felt good……. Being hit by that bastard.”
Trapped between the counter and Tae-gyeom’s thick arms, Hae-won swayed helplessly every time Tae-gyeom thrust his hips upward.
“Do you like that kind of thing, our Hae-won? If so, Hyung can put in some effort too.”
“Fuck, seriously…….”
Hae-won roughly pried the arms from his waist and grabbed Tae-gyeom by the collar. He pulled him down to meet his eyes and whispered quietly.
“What are you trying to do, you fucker……. We already had sex. The belt back then, fuck……! Why the hell did you leave it behind?”
Tae-gyeom stared calmly at Hae-won’s enraged face and gripped the wrist holding his collar. Rubbing the prominent wrist bone with his thumb, he grinned and then pressed his genitals firmly against Hae-won from the front.
“This is why I like you.”
Without taking his eyes off the satisfying expression on Hae-won’s face, Tae-gyeom grabbed Hae-won’s belt and quickly undid it. Startled, Hae-won let go of the collar and grabbed Tae-gyeom’s forearm. The more he pushed, the closer Tae-gyeom pressed in, putting his full weight against him. It was maddening. He had to be out of his mind.
“Are you crazy? Seriously, ha…….”
“Just for a moment, just a moment.”
“Bullshit……! Fuck, I said stop!”
Hae-won writhed and struggled between Tae-gyeom, who was lowering his pant zipper, and the counter that blocked his escape. However, Tae-gyeom had already slid his hand inside the drawers to grab his buttocks, rubbing his lips against the nape of Hae-won’s neck.
Hae-won quickly glanced at the hallway. Since it was a secondary kitchen, it was a space only visible if one entered deeper into the dining area, but he had no certainty that Seo Hae-young wouldn’t come. His anxiety grew, and his heart throbbed unpleasantly. Tae-gyeom sucked on his earlobe while rubbing his semi-erect penis against Hae-won’s thigh.
“I’ll finish quickly. Okay?”
“What……. What, fuck, just finish quickly, you lunatic……!”
He felt like he was going insane. Trying to compete in strength with a guy who worked out whenever he was bored was a waste of energy. Hae-won anxiously checked the hallway and pushed Tae-gyeom’s shoulder with all his might. Though his lower body continued to be pressed and rubbed, he managed to pull his face away. Forcing the corners of his mouth up, he muttered through gritted teeth.
“Tomorrow, no. Just come in the morning since I don’t do anything then……. Not here.”
Getting Tae-gyeom away immediately was the priority. Hae-won fumbled along the counter, thinking he might even grab a knife if necessary, while keeping a close eye on Tae-gyeom, whose eyes were boiling with desire. Tae-gyeom seemed to consider it for a moment, then planted a quick kiss on the bruised cheek.
“Sure, I’ll do that. Instead…….”
Pressing his lips to Hae-won’s ear, Tae-gyeom whispered quiet obscenities. How he wanted his cock sucked when he came, what positions he wanted him to take, and so on and so forth……. By the time Hae-won, who had been listening silently, had eyes as vacant as the rockfish eyes sitting on the counter, Tae-gyeom chuckled and pulled away.
“Ah……. I really wanted to do it here. What a shame.”
Hae-won hurriedly tucked his messed-up shirt back into his pants and tidied his appearance, smoothing out his distorted expression along with it. His eyes felt hot, and he blinked rapidly to brush away the tears that were about to well up. He didn’t know how things had ended up like this. It felt like too high a price to pay for one stupid choice. His cheek hurt, and his chest felt tight.
After the scuffle with Tae-gyeom, the four of them sat around the dining table, and Hae-won’s chopsticks split the well-grilled rockfish. The small fish opened up, revealing its white flesh. He skillfully removed the bones and moved the clean fillets to a side plate. He piled them neatly and pushed the plate toward Seo Hae-young. Having finished his task, Hae-won slowly began his meal, and Hyun-woo, who was watching him while eating other side dishes, furrowed his brows.
“Hey. Can’t you stop doing that now? You’re not a child…….”
Seo Hae-young, who nonchalantly put the fish fillet Hae-won had prepared into his mouth, smiled silently. Hae-won looked up, glanced at Hyun-woo, and shrugged.
“He’s not good at it.”
“It’s not that he’s not good, he just doesn’t want to do it.”
Hyun-woo felt frustrated. How old was Seo Hae-young, and yet here was Yoon Hae-won, filleting everything for him. Especially after just getting hit—what an idiot. It was enough to ruin his appetite.
While Hyun-woo clicked his tongue, Hae-won chewed and swallowed the white rice, staring at the fragmented rockfish.
Seo Hae-young didn’t eat fish often. When asked why once, he said filleting it was a hassle. He wouldn’t even touch shrimp, ribs, or even chicken with bones. He just said it was a hassle.
At the time, Hae-won, who thought of Seo Hae-young as merely a friend, had scolded him while filleting the fish for him. After doing that for several years, it had become a habit. He simply hadn’t realized it looked strange. It had been too natural a thing.
“Why. Hae-won says he likes it.”
While Hae-won was wondering if he should stop, Seo Hae-young spoke up. Hyun-woo glared at the beaming Seo Hae-young and grumbled while popping an egg yolk.
“Do it yourself. It looks a bit weird.”
“Really? Hae-won. Does it look weird?”
Seo Hae-young asked, looking back at Hae-won, who was quietly eating. Suddenly receiving three pairs of eyes on him, Hae-won swallowed the food in his throat and shook his head. Seo Hae-young asked once more.
“Is it a hassle, filleting it for me?”
“……No. It’s fine.”
“Right?”
Seo Hae-young gave a playful, crescent-eyed smile. Hae-won, unable to take his eyes off that face, took an awkward gulp of water. Seeing this, Hyun-woo finally snapped in annoyance, and Tae-gyeom chuckled. Under the table, Tae-gyeom’s foot reached out secretly and touched Hae-won’s shin. When Hae-won checked the opposite side and pulled his leg back, Tae-gyeom only smiled unpleasantly.
Back in high school, the dining table had been a place of noisy cursing and pranks, but now, years later, the table for the four of them was somehow creaking.
* * *
A week flew by while Hae-won adjusted to the shop work and diligently replied to the meaningless texts Seo Hae-young sent. It was a fortunate week, as he managed to keep his bruised face hidden from Hyun-jeong, who appeared and disappeared like the wind. It was thanks to the dim lighting of the shop.
Tae-gyeom, who had spouted those bizarre things, hadn’t appeared since the day they all ate together, only sending occasional texts. As for the content…… they were all obscenities. He read them a few times, but at some point, he began deleting them all without even reading. A week without any major incidents was the perfect amount of time for his tension to relax.
That was why Hae-won, returning home alone after having a drink with Hyun-woo after work, couldn’t hide his bewilderment at the sudden appearance of Tae-gyeom. Tae-gyeom, who had been crouching in the hallway in front of the entrance smoking, crushed the short cigarette butt on the floor. A rough voice followed.
“You’re damn late.”
A sudden, terrible fatigue washed over Hae-won, and he rubbed his forehead. As he aligned and inserted the key, he muttered in a tired voice.
“Go home. It’s night.”
“I came because it’s night.”
Tae-gyeom stood up slowly and clung to his back. As soon as the door opened, Tae-gyeom pushed Hae-won inside—who was resisting—and followed him in, taking off his shoes.
“Ah. It’s a bit cool in here, I feel like I can breathe.”
Since the heat had broken, a fan was sufficient. While Hae-won stood in the entryway without taking off his shoes, Tae-gyeom threw off his t-shirt. When the bathroom light was turned on, a pale blue light faintly illuminated the room.
“Want to wash up first? Or right away?”
Tae-gyeom, sweeping his fallen hair back, gave a brazen smile as he looked at Hae-won’s face, which was full of irritation. Undoing his belt, Tae-gyeom approached with a swagger and tapped Hae-won’s cheek, where the bruise had faded, with his palm.
“Actually, let’s do it right away. You look so go-od wearing this, our Hae-won.”
Tae-gyeom hummed an unrecognizable tune and began unbuttoning Hae-won’s shirt one by one.
“……Hey. What are you doing.”
Hae-won grabbed the hand unbuttoning him and twisted it with force. Tae-gyeom’s hand seemed to be pulled away, but it slipped out like a snake and attached itself back to the buttons.
“Ah, Hae-won-ah-.”
Tae-gyeom finally stripped off the shirt, letting it drop to the floor, and grabbed the hem of the t-shirt worn underneath.
“Let’s keep things simple. Okay? Now, arms up.”
Hae-won neither replied nor raised his arms, but glared at Tae-gyeom. Pouting his lips with a “hmm,” Tae-gyeom forcibly stripped off the t-shirt and dragged him further into the house. He pulled Hae-won, who had instinctively stepped out of his shoes, and knocked him onto the floor, hurriedly stripping off his black pants. While sucking all over Hae-won’s upper body, he felt the beautifully shaped penis revealed above the drawers. A voice mixed with humid breath and mockery dropped.
“Who bought you these clothes? They don’t suit you at all.”
The hand that had been pushing the shoulder stopped abruptly. Hae-won rolled his eyes and looked at the crumpled white shirt. Even if he couldn’t afford the dry cleaners, it was a shirt he had washed cleanly and ironed well. After hesitating, he finally opened his lips, which wouldn’t budge.
“……They don’t suit me?”
Tae-gyeom, who had been nibbling on the prominent collarbone, braced himself on the floor and straightened his waist. He found it hilarious that Hae-won was rolling his eyes, waiting for an answer. To ask such a question over a passing comment. Tae-gyeom pinched the bridge of Hae-won’s high nose with two fingers and shook it gently.
“Did you drink?”
“A little.”
A flat voice followed. No wonder he seemed loose. Tae-gyeom laughed and replied as he stripped off his pants, which felt uncomfortable due to his erection.
“Yeah. They don’t suit you at all.”
Loose short-sleeves and shorts were much better. Because the skin was clearly visible whenever he moved. However, Hae-won understood the meaning of Tae-gyeom’s words in a completely different direction.
Seo Hae-young said they were fine…… was he actually being sarcastic? That these clothes didn’t suit him. Since Hyun-jeong had gifted them, they probably weren’t cheap. He became anxious. What if he looked pathetic?
“Hae-won. Let’s focus.”
Tae-gyeom, who had taken a large bite of his side and licked it with his tongue, roused Hae-won from his deep thoughts. He liked that Hae-won became docile when he drank, but he needed to make him focus. Leaning against the wall, Tae-gyeom wrapped his hand around Hae-won’s head and pulled him down. A penis, already rock-hard and veiny, pressed against Hae-won’s nose. Tae-gyeom, who had missed the constantly moist interior of his mouth, gripped his penis and tapped Hae-won’s cheek.
“Suck it. Like I told you last time.”
“I don’t want to.”
Hae-won, lying between Tae-gyeom’s legs, turned his head to avoid the glans poking his cheek and lips. The nausea from the penis that had reached his throat was still vivid. When he tried to pull his fixed head back, a sigh fell from above.
“You’re playing hard to get, Hae-won-ah…….”
Tae-gyeom inserted his thumb between Hae-won’s lips and pushed the glans into the humid mouth.
“You know I have a loose tongue. You have to keep me quiet.”
“Ugh……!”
His mouth opened wider, and the hot piece of flesh pushed inside. Tae-gyeom merely stroked the back of his head as if doing him a favor, not thrusting deep without warning like before.
“If you do it well, I’ll finish quickly.”
Hae-won, blinking blankly, sucked in the penis he was chewing on. He comfortably stretched out his kneeling legs, mechanically lubricated it with saliva, and opened his mouth to take it in. He felt no emotion. He felt no sense of humiliation, nor was he angry. He only felt a strange guilt toward himself, who was as wretched as this house. All his attention was focused on the stripped-off clothes. Ah. Maybe that’s why he hit me. Because he was annoyed.
“Hup, uph…….”
Whether he sucked Go Tae-gyeom’s cock or took it in his hole, Seo Hae-young probably wouldn’t even care. He had no will to reject or struggle with the tedious Go Tae-gyeom. He just wanted to finish quickly and send him away.
“Ha…….”
Hae-won’s head moved up and down rhythmically as he sucked the penis between his legs. Tae-gyeom stroked the hair of Hae-won, who continued to be lost in other thoughts. The sucking force was weak and lacked sincerity. It wasn’t that he disliked it, but he needed stimulation. Pushing his hand into the hair, Tae-gyeom clenched his fist.
“Haa……!”
His hair was grabbed, and as Hae-won spat out the penis, a string of saliva stretched from his lips. The long string of saliva fell onto the erect penis. Tae-gyeom, rubbing the saliva-slicked penis in front of Hae-won’s face, whispered low.
“Condom.”
Hae-won pointed to the drawer with a blurred gaze, and Tae-gyeom immediately reached out and pulled a condom from the drawer. He tore the packaging with his teeth and pulled Hae-won up. Hae-won let out a pained groan as his scalp was pulled tight.
“Ugh…….”
“Yoon Hae-won.”
Hae-won narrowed his eyes and met Tae-gyeom’s gaze. Tae-gyeom sighed and tapped the remaining bruise on his cheek. Hands thicker and broader than Seo Hae-young’s pinched the cheek and shook it back and forth.
“Want to do it while getting hit?”
The expressionless face was eerie. He wasn’t the type who couldn’t bring himself to hit. Hae-won suddenly remembered Hyun-jeong telling him that he’d pay the settlement money anytime, so he shouldn’t just take it if someone bullied him, and he let out a hollow laugh. Tae-gyeom played around, tapping Hae-won’s nose and chin with his index finger.
“Is it funny? Think I can’t hit you?”
No. I think you’d be very good at it.
Avoiding his gaze, he muttered softly.
“……Just do it quickly and go.”
“If you say so-.”
In an instant, Tae-gyeom pulled Hae-won’s waist and sat him on his thighs, smiling. Hae-won, unintentionally leaning on the firm shoulders, let out a curse, but Tae-gyeom only twisted his lips mischievously.
“Now I don’t want to do it quickly.”
* * *
“Ah……!”
Hyun-woo, who had reached the front of his house after a beer, stopped in his tracks. He had wondered why his pants felt heavy, and there was an old phone in his pocket. He thought it was impressive that he’d used it for several years without breaking the screen. He looked at Hae-won’s phone and put it back in his pocket.
Hyun-woo looked back and forth between the path he’d walked and his front gate, then turned without hesitation. He figured it was better to deliver it, treating it as a walk. Since he hadn’t drunk much, Hae-won would come out if he knocked. The summer night, with the heat gone, was crisp, and his steps were light.
On the day Hae-won came out of his room with a bruise on his cheek, Hyun-woo had been asked one question.
“Have you ever been to Yoon Hae-won’s house?”
Seo Hae-young, leaning against the railing, had asked that while looking down at the top of Tae-gyeom’s head as he headed toward the kitchen. At first, Hyun-woo didn’t know what he was talking about, but then something came to mind. Hae-won’s request. Hyun-woo nodded, and the question continued.
“When?”
“About two weeks ago……?”
He couldn’t understand why he was asking, but because Seo Hae-young stared with persistent eyes, he found himself answering. He had brushed it off, but the conversation they needed to have right then wasn’t about such useless things. Hyun-woo scratched his forehead and pointed with his chin toward the bottom of the stairs.
“But why did you beat Yoon Hae-won? Even if he did something wrong, what could he have possibly done that was so bad?”
Seo Hae-young, swaying his upper body while leaning on the railing, slowly shook his head.
“No. He did something wrong.”
“Hey……. Then you could have just talked it out, you lunatic. He’s already…….”
So skinny. Hyun-woo recalled Hae-won’s body, wearing only drawers. He had a straight frame and long limbs, so he looked decent, but there was no denying he was thin. Of course, Seo Hae-young wasn’t the type to stop just because someone was thin, saying ‘there’s nowhere to hit.’ He’d probably just create a place to hit.
While Hyun-woo was thinking of Hae-won’s naked body, Seo Hae-young, tapping the railing and looking toward the kitchen where Hae-won had disappeared, muttered softly.
“He only listens when he’s hit.”
Hyun-woo frowned, glancing at Seo Hae-young, who was smiling to himself. He had known him for years, but sometimes he didn’t seem normal at all. Feeling that talking more would only be frustrating, he turned to go down the stairs, but Seo Hae-young asked one more thing.
“How is Yoon Hae-won?”
At that moment, Hyun-woo unconsciously glossed over the answer. He couldn’t just laugh off a question like “how is he?” Seo Hae-young smiled, seeing how obvious his fluster was. And it was a very unpleasant smile.
“Honestly…….”
If he had to pick a close friend, he was one of the top ten, but even after knowing him for a long time, he couldn’t tell what was in his heart. To think he’d raise a hand against Yoon Hae-won, who had been by his side every day, just because he did something he didn’t like. Shaking his head to clear the stray thoughts, Hyun-woo had already arrived in front of Hae-won’s house.
Even as he walked all the way down the hallway, past a few scattered, withered potted plants, the sensor lights didn’t come on. Tilting his head back, he saw the grime-covered lights on the ceiling, but they seemed to be broken; no matter how much he waved his hand, they wouldn’t turn on. Stopping in front of the entrance at the end of the dark hallway, Hyun-woo started to knock, then lowered his hand. A worried laugh escaped him.
“He really should lock the door properly.”
The door was slightly ajar. Thinking he should tell Hae-won to lock up properly even if there was nothing worth stealing, he opened the door and stepped inside. The dark entryway, which also served as a shoe rack, also had non-functional sensor lights. Just as he was about to call his name—
“Hae—”
“Ah… ngh…”
His throat tightened. As Hyun-woo leaned down to take off his shoes, he detected a strange sound. The sound of sticky fluids clinging and pulling apart, the sound of labored breathing, and the sound of skin slapping against skin.
Stiffening up, Hyun-woo looked at the two pairs of shoes tangled in the narrow entryway, and a random question popped into his head. Sneakers that looked larger than Hae-won’s. He said he didn’t have a girlfriend… his feet are really big. While lost in this absurd thought, someone’s voice reached Hyun-woo’s ears.
“It hurts, this hurts…”
It was Hae-won’s voice. Something was wrong. His mind told him he had to leave immediately, but his feet wouldn’t budge. Staring only at the shoe rack, Hyun-woo slowly lifted his head. The light leaking through the gap in the bathroom door illuminated the clothes strewn from the entryway all the way to the room. His head creaked slowly to the left.
“I can’t do it…”
In the corner of the living room, reachable within ten steps, he saw a lean back. And beneath it, long legs. Yoon Hae-won, sitting astride someone. Hyun-woo felt as if he had been hit in the back of the head; he couldn’t move a single finger.
That person, the one underneath… isn’t that a guy?
As he stared blankly, two large hands gripped Hae-won’s waist.
“Look at how you’re making me work, Hae-won…”
“Hngh…!”
A familiar voice. A light tone. Then, Hae-won’s body moved violently up and down. The hands gripping his waist lightly lifted the seated body and then slammed it down deep with a thrust. Hae-won gripped the other’s shoulders and twisted his upper body. Under the pale lighting, the muscles of his lean back rippled as a pained moan burst out.
“Ah, ngh! It hurts…! I said it hurts, you fucking bastard!”
“Stop… exaggerating…”
Why does it hurt? With all his thought processes halted, Hyun-woo dropped his gaze toward where the squelching sounds were coming from. Hae-won’s buttocks, previously hidden by his drawers, were revealing pale flesh. And between them, something the size of a forearm was inserted. Whenever the strong grip lifted his waist, it was fully exposed, and when it pushed back down, it disappeared, and Hae-won let out a crying sound at the same time.
“Haa… ah…!”
The movements became faster. Every time the waist was thrust upward with a thumping sound, Hae-won swayed violently, obscuring the other person from view.
“Stop, wait…! Just stop…!”
“Does it feel good? Fuck… I’ve been holding back so much, seriously…”
Hae-won’s back curled. Goosebumps erupted across the nape of Hyun-woo’s neck as his eyes darted frantically between the protruding spine and the genitals burying themselves with a wet sound into the crease of the buttocks. The tone and voice of the guy thrusting from below were far too familiar.
“Haa-gh!”
Leaning against the other’s shoulder, Hae-won trembled violently. For a split second, he saw the face of the man burying his genitals into Hae-won’s backside. Hyun-woo wanted to rub his eyes or pinch his thighs. He wondered if the scene he was witnessing was truly reality. But his body was frozen like stone, making it difficult to even blink.
“Hey… what happens if you cum first?”
Chuckling, the man who had been rubbing his lips against the rim of Hae-won’s ear suddenly pulled up the limp upper body. The man wrapped his hand around the back of Hae-won’s head to lay him down, interlacing his fingers with the pushing hand to pin it firmly to the floor. As the well-built body sprawled over Hae-won, only the wide-open, struggling legs were visible. Long legs kicked at the floor, trying to push away the body that had pounced on him, but failing to dislodge it.
“Ah, wait, stop…! Ah…!”
“No, fuck… we should enjoy this together, why the hell are you cumming alone.”
Along with the sound of laughter, well-defined muscles twitched. Every time the waist thrust violently, Hae-won writhed beneath the weight. Forcing down the trembling limbs, the man lifted the nape of the neck with one hand, sucking on the skin while ruthlessly slamming their lower bodies together. Hae-won’s lost arms crawled across the floor before wrapping around the man’s neck.
“Hngh, ngh…! Go, Tae-gyeom! I told you, slow down!”
Right, Go Tae-gyeom…
Hyun-woo was confused whether he should be grateful to Hae-won for confirming his suspicions or if he should scream and ask what the hell they were doing. Looking down with horrified eyes at his friend who was panting and burying his cock between Yoon Hae-won’s buttocks, Hyun-woo suddenly locked eyes with a pair of eyes. They were the hazy, clouded eyes of Go Tae-gyeom.
Meeting Hyun-woo’s gaze, Tae-gyeom frowned slightly and then lowered his head indifferently. He immediately kissed Hae-won’s temple and accelerated his hip movements. As if he didn’t care whether he was being watched or not.
“Ah! Gently… Tae-gyeom, please…!”
“Fuck, this feels so good…”
Their groins collided with powerful force. The slapping sound brought Hyun-woo’s drifted mind back to reality; he took his phone out of his pocket and quietly set it on the floor. In the meantime, Hae-won, clinging to Tae-gyeom’s neck, pleaded tearfully, and every bit of that pitiful voice flowed into Hyun-woo’s ears. As soon as he stepped back, opened the door, and silently closed the entrance, the strength left his legs. He slumped in the hallway, covering his mouth.
“Wow, this is…”
Yoon Hae-won and Go Tae-gyeom? Does this even make sense? Slapping his own cheek, Hyun-woo felt a stinging pain and squeezed his eyes shut before opening them again. It wasn’t a dream. He pressed his ear against the entrance door and held his breath. His friend’s moans were faintly audible through the door. Dazed, Hyun-woo wiped his face with his cold palms.
“Whoa…”
Are they dating? Since when? Then why did Go Tae-gyeom just laugh when Seo Hae-young hit Hae-won?
Questions piled up like a mountain, nearly driving him crazy. A year ago, when he had briefly visited Korea, there was no such vibe between them. He might have missed it, but both of them looked like they wouldn’t have any interest in men, yet here they were screwing each other. Does Seo Hae-young know about this?
No matter how much he pondered, no answer came. And.
Why the hell am I erect?
He could feel his genitals swelling thickly beneath his pants. The image of the cock entering Hae-won’s buttocks, the suppressed moans, and the trembling body played vividly in his mind. The more he thought about it, the more his member stood erect, as if it would pierce through the fabric.
“I’m so fucked, seriously…”
With a deep sigh, burying his face in both palms, Hyun-woo lingered for a long time in front of the door of the house where two of his close friends were having sex.
* * *
Having come to visit Tae-gyeom’s house—where Tae-gyeom had renovated an entire room and filled it with all sorts of gaming gear because the PC cafe was too far—Hyun-woo found it difficult to concentrate on the game. The air conditioner, set to a temperature that was almost too cold, the smoothly running graphics, and the controller that fit perfectly in his hand were all uncomfortable.
“Ah. If Yoon Hae-won were here, I’d just clear this.”
Looking at the monitor displaying ‘FAIL’, Tae-gyeom threw the controller and leaned back into the plush sofa. Once only into PC games, Tae-gyeom had recently become obsessed with console games. It was a game where you leveled up by clearing it stage by stage.
Normally, Hyun-woo would have pressed restart and suggested one more round, but he set down the white controller and glanced at Tae-gyeom. After days of no contact since that day, Tae-gyeom had invited him over to play games, yet he brought up Yoon Hae-won’s name at every turn.
Are they really dating? But why hasn’t he said a word about that day? We definitely locked eyes. Is he telling me to keep my mouth shut? Or is he waiting for me to bring it up first? He couldn’t read into the mind of his old friend.
Unaware of the glancing looks, Tae-gyeom scrolled through his phone and asked in an irritated tone.
“Hey. Is Hyun-jeong Noona’s shop not going bankrupt? Why is he always at work?”
“Why would it go bankrupt? It’s doing great.”
Hae-won was probably frantically busy right now. Judging by how Hyun-jeong doted on him, saying ‘our Hae-won, our Hae-won,’ he seemed to be quite good at his job. Since seeing the two of them mixing bodies that day, Hyun-woo hadn’t been able to bring himself to visit the shop, so this was merely a guess. He had shaken his head at Hyun-jeong’s insistence that he visit the shop, fearing he wouldn’t be able to control his expression if he saw Hae-won. Unaware of Hyun-woo’s inner turmoil, Tae-gyeom called his name.
“Hey, Joo Hyun-woo.”
“What.”
It was complicated. A friend and a friend were dating. Two men. And yet, he had gotten an erection while imagining the friend on the bottom. It was an act deserving of moral condemnation. While he was agonizing, clutching his hair, Tae-gyeom rested his chin on the armrest and smiled slyly.
“How was it?”
With his hair a mess, Hyun-woo slowly turned his gaze. Tae-gyeom was slowly moving his hand over his own thigh. It was a gesture of gripping and shaking something.
“…What was?”
“Yoon Hae-won. How is he?”
‘How is Yoon Hae-won?’
It was similar to the question Seo Hae-young had asked. Sensing a strange vibe, Hyun-woo straightened his back, but he didn’t speak first. Watching the gradually frowning face, Tae-gyeom wore a sneer.
“You saw everything, you bastard.”
* * *
After locking the shop door, Hae-won pounded his stiff waist with his fist. Because Tae-gyeom had visited a few days ago and pinned him down on the bare floor, his entire back was covered in bruises. Whispering that he’d finish quickly and leave, Tae-gyeom had come and gone only after using the very last condom, leaving Hae-won biting his trembling knees.
“Let’s go to the beach.”
And as if waiting, Seo Hae-young left a text the next day.
[Hae-won]
[Let’s go to the beach]
Somehow, he had picked the exact day Hyun-jeong announced the shop would be closing for a collective vacation. The location was a villa used by Tae-gyeom’s family. The villa was located on the East Coast, offering a panoramic view of the sea, and was secluded as it was far from tourist spots. He had visited every summer break in high school, but he wasn’t as excited as he had been back then. He was too old to be giddy, and summer was coming to an end.
Furthermore, the strange relationship with Tae-gyeom that had continued for over a month dampened his mood. As his hole was pierced by a penis over and over, as his body shook and he gasped for air, he realized things had gone terribly wrong. Throughout the time he spent hugging Tae-gyeom’s neck and staring blankly at the ceiling where light drew a long rectangular shape, reflexive moans escaped his lips.
The one drawn on the ceiling was Seo Hae-young. The kindly curving corners of his eyes and white skin. The lips that spoke firmly yet softly, and the strong arms. The one who slapped his cheek and fed him sweet chocolate… the friend he had loved alone for years. Hae-won buried his face in Tae-gyeom’s shoulder, imagining Seo Hae-young. Pretending that the person he was having sex with right now was Seo Hae-young. Just the imagination brought a terrible pleasure crashing over him.
“Ridiculous…”
He must have lost his mind from exhaustion. He suddenly remembered how Go Tae-gyeom had kissed his cheeks, laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world, when he had unconsciously wrapped his legs around Tae-gyeom’s waist. Whenever that happened, he tried to erase the memory by banging his forehead against something hard. He was too embarrassed to live. Having banged his forehead against the door four times already today, Hae-won sighed and walked forward. Today’s sleeping quarters were not a narrow, dim house.
Arriving at Seo Hae-young’s house, Hae-won tidied his clothes as he crossed the garden shrouded in darkness. Even if his mismatched clothes looked pathetic, he had no time to change. He was told to come as soon as he finished, so what choice did he have?
All the lights on the first floor were off. Running up to the second floor, Hae-won lifted his arm to smell if there was any scent of food. The strong scent of the perfume the Hyung at the restaurant had sprayed on him wafted up. He figured this was acceptable. Quickly entering the room where light was leaking, Hae-won found Seo Hae-young sitting on the sofa.
Seo Hae-young, lovely even from the back. A smile appeared on Hae-won’s tired lips. Completely forgetting about the time he had been slapped across the face a few days ago, Hae-won walked up stealthily.
Seo Hae-young, immersed in the movie playing on the large monitor, didn’t seem to notice him approaching. The moment he reached out to place a hand on the shoulder right behind him—
“Go wash up.”
The mood deflated. Hae-won dropped the hand he had intended to use to surprise him. Seo Hae-young turned around, smiling prettily and tilting his head slightly. Then, he made a gesture of plugging his nose and wrinkled his eyes playfully.
“The perfume is disgusting.”
“…Ah. Sorry.”
Startled, Hae-won stepped back and pressed his nose against his arm to smell again. It smelled cool and pleasant to him, but it seemed it wasn’t to Seo Hae-young’s taste.
“Hurry, hurry.”
Leaning his arm on the back of the sofa, Seo Hae-young waved his hand, making him feel rushed. Like a well-trained dog, Hae-won immediately left the room and bolted to the bathroom faster than ever. He stripped off the uncomfortable clothes, folded them neatly, and quickly turned on the shower. After washing everything from his hair down, he squeezed out a generous amount of body wash.
He scrubbed his wrists, where the perfume had seeped in deep, vigorously with a shower ball. Only when the skin turned bright red did the scent of the body wash linger, and Hae-won finished his shower with a satisfied smile. Drying himself off, he walked toward the clean shelf.
Inside the wooden basket on the shelf, there were always clothes that Seo Hae-young had prepared in advance. In his own way, he was considerate enough to save Hae-won the trouble of searching for things. As he habitually rummaged through the basket, Hae-won frowned slightly.
There were no underwear. Since he often stayed over, he usually left a few pairs, but he seemed to have forgotten today. Moreover…
“Why is this here…”
Since he left underwear, he naturally had sleepwear too, but what Seo Hae-young had prepared were pajamas. A set of pajamas that Seo Hae-young himself didn’t even wear.
Since it would be difficult to go out naked or wear clothes stained with a scent Seo Hae-young hated, he picked up the soft pants. The navy blue pajamas with a subtle check pattern were Seo Hae-young’s size. The pants, which should have fit his waist perfectly, were baggy, and the sleeves slid down. Looking down skeptically at the fabric covering the tops of his feet, he rolled them up a few times, folded the sliding sleeves, and quickly entered the room.
“Hurry—come here.”
Knowing somehow that he had finished showering, Seo Hae-young, who was watching the movie, gestured to him. Approaching the sofa almost at a run, Hae-won was startled once by Seo Hae-young pulling his wrist to sit him down, and twice by the ghost that appeared on the screen with a loud Bang! With his eyes wide in surprise, Hae-won fixed his gaze on the ghost hanging from the ceiling. His heart pounded.
“Scary, right?”
The arm wrapped around his shoulder felt heavy. And the head leaning on his right shoulder was also heavy. His heart raced not because of the approaching ghost, but because of Seo Hae-young. He wasn’t the type of guy to rub his body against others like this. Nor was he someone who couldn’t watch horror movies. That made it even more perplexing.
“Hae-won.”
Even as the hand on his shoulder moved up to the back of his head, he couldn’t react quickly. While only his bare feet, not wearing slippers, wiggled, his head was suddenly jerked back. The gripped hair pulled tight. The gaze of Seo Hae-young looking up from below and Hae-won looking down intertwined. It was that strange atmosphere again.
Ah. Rolling his eyes, Hae-won remembered one thing. He hadn’t answered. He pulled up the corners of his trembling lips into a smile. He didn’t want to be hit again. It had taken a long time for the bruises to fade.
“…Yes?”
“Are you deaf?”
Straightening his upper body, Seo Hae-young didn’t let go of the hair but instead sat even closer. Unable to hide his fluster, Hae-won swallowed hard and spoke hesitantly. He was conscious of the long arm wrapped around the back of the sofa.
“No… I was just surprised.”
A slow touch reached the cheek where the bruise had faded.
“Hae-won. Answer me properly…”
The finger, sliding down to the tip of the joint, traced his jaw before dropping away.
“Before I hit you.”
Tapping the collar of the pajama shirt, Seo Hae-young blinked as he saw Hae-won’s frozen expression. Soon, the sound of a suppressed laugh escaping—khh—mixed with a scream from the movie. Seo Hae-young laughed loudly, leaning on the arm of the sofa, but the sound of the laughter wasn’t audible. The effects changing every second on the wall-mounted monitor flashed across his curved eyes and lips. Turning red, then white, then blue. A high-pitched scream hit the eardrums, swallowing Seo Hae-young’s laughter.
With a short breath, Seo Hae-young stopped laughing and turned off the noisy movie. His face had already returned to an expressionless state.
“This is boring.”
Silence descended instantly upon the wide, pleasant room. In the space illuminated by a single stand light next to the bed, Hae-won clenched his tense hands and squeezed them meaninglessly. The days when Seo Hae-young was comfortable had ended years ago, but today was especially uncomfortable.
The arm that had been draped over the back of the sofa returned to his shoulder. Seo Hae-young crossed his long legs and flicked the tip of his foot. Staring at the blank monitor, Seo Hae-young spoke.
“Are you going to the shop tomorrow?”
“I go every day. Around five-thirty…”
Hae-won, who had revealed his clock-in time without even being asked, glanced sideways. Seo Hae-young’s hand moved softly across his chest. After leaning to the opposite side as if contemplating for a moment, Seo Hae-young continued, tapping his own thigh with his palm.
“Tell Noona…”
“…Huh?”
Straightening his back, Seo Hae-young toyed with the pajama buttons that were meticulously fastened around Hae-won’s neck. He was close enough for the sound of a racing heart to be felt. A slender breath tickled his cheek, and a low voice dropped right beside his ear.
“Tell her you can’t go because you feel sick.”
“What are you talking about…”
The tension leaking out of him, Hae-won let out a powerless laugh. This was a job he had barely managed to secure, and it was none other than Hyun-jeong’s shop. In other words, he wasn’t in a position to simply notify them whether he was coming or not. Dismissing it as another one of Seo Hae-young’s delusions, Hae-won slipped out from under the heavy arm and created some distance. It would be a disaster if anyone noticed them being this close.
Unsure of what he was thinking, Seo Hae-young rested his chin on his hand and smirked. Finding it strange that the guy who would usually be asleep by this time was wide awake, Hae-won reached out and gave his broad shoulder a light nudge.
“Aren’t you sleepy? Did you take a nap?”
Seo Hae-young, nodding while still resting his chin on his hand, looked simply adorable. When he was in a good mood, he was endlessly affectionate, but when the opposite happened, he became violent—much like a stray cat wandering in front of the house.
A cat that didn’t visit in the summer and only appeared in winter; once a box was found and lined with a blanket and food was provided, it would act cute whenever it felt like it. When Hae-won tried to touch it, thinking they had become close, it immediately scratched the back of his hand, yet he couldn’t bring himself to hate it. It was because those occasional displays of affection had pierced his heart.
Seo Hae-young was like that. A guy who had pierced his heart so deeply that no matter what he did, he couldn’t be hated. He wouldn’t even argue if someone called it rose-colored glasses.
Perhaps thanks to the physical distance, his churning heart found stability. Placing both feet on the sofa, he distanced himself further from Seo Hae-young. Leaning his back against the armrest, Hae-won cleared his throat to hide his expression and needlessly fluttered the hem of his pajamas.
“I can’t sleep either. Want to play a game?”
The reality that the only thing he could boast about was being good at games was bittersweet, but he intentionally didn’t let it show. It was enough to be able to provide a little help while Seo Hae-young was struggling. He toyed with the soft fabric, gauging the other’s reaction. Lowering the hand from his chin, Seo Hae-young smiled as if a great idea had suddenly occurred to him.
“Sure. Let’s play a game.”
As Hae-won looked up at Seo Hae-young suddenly springing up from the sofa, his arm was grabbed and he was pulled to his feet. The roughly rolled-up sleeve slid down, covering the back of his hand.
“You want to do this standing up?”
Rolling up his sleeve again, Hae-won asked while glancing up at Seo Hae-young. Seo Hae-young kicked off his indoor slippers and held out a fist. Hae-won instinctively held out his own fist in return, though his expression was full of doubt. Ruffling Hae-won’s hair with his free hand, Seo Hae-young lightly bumped their fists together.
“The loser has to run away.”
“…Hide and seek?”
It was nearly three in the morning. Although Hae-won was someone who slept late and woke late, he knew it wasn’t the time to be running around. As he looked at Seo Hae-young with a skeptical expression, a chuckle escaped him because the other was smiling with such a childlike face.
“Isn’t the loser supposed to be the seeker?”
“Not today.”
“Fine, whatever…”
He nodded and lifted his clenched fist slightly. The moment he lowered his fist again, Hae-won plunged headfirst into an inescapable dilemma.