Chapter 89 – 89
In truth, what he really wanted to ask was why he had gone so far. If he had been worried about people’s eyes, simply bringing him up and laying him down would have sufficed.
But he had gone as far as washing him and changing his clothes. Seeing as he had carried him out of the room and into the carriage, he must have been the one to dress him in these outing clothes as well.
Though they had done all sorts of things under the excuse of it being a dream, Euro was the only one who knew that. Thus, they were not in a relationship where they could comfortably expose their naked bodies to one another.
“Because of me, you unnecessarily…”
“….”
“I’m sorry.”
Euro closed his eyes tight and apologized to the silent Melione. He wasn’t expecting an answer anyway.
Regardless of what feelings the man harbored for him, he had treated him with human decency, so Euro simply acted accordingly. After all, it wasn’t as if he had done it out of any particular affection.
Melione, who remained silent despite Euro’s apology, suddenly brought up an unexpected topic after a brief silence.
“Continue the story you were telling before.”
“Pardon?”
“The story you stopped halfway through at the wedding.”
Euro blinked at Melione’s words. He couldn’t quite remember what he had been talking about at the wedding. However, Melione gazed at him steadily, as if urging him to speak.
“That… I don’t quite remember. What did I say?”
It wasn’t as if only one or two things had happened in the meantime. There was no way he could remember a random conversation from the wedding just by being told to continue it.
At this, Melione added while looking at Euro.
“The cotton in the bouquet.”
“Ah, that.”
At the mention of cotton, Euro recalled the rambling story he had told that day. It was a thoughtless comment he’d made while looking at the cotton in the bouquet.
It was because Clope had once told him that while cotton grows well in Norden, it makes the land even more barren, making it difficult to farm other crops.
“It’s exactly as I said then. I didn’t know [Read on Read BL Novels]much about it, but [Read on Read BL Novels]I found out because my sister told me.”
Melione’s brow furrowed slightly at Euro’s words, but Euro, too busy searching his memory to notice, continued.
“Norden is originally a region where farming doesn’t go well, but strangely, cotton blooms in abundance. But they said the land where cotton grows becomes even more barren, so even if you plant other crops, the harvest is small.”
“….”
“Instead, perhaps because cotton is scattered everywhere, it’s not hard to find warm clothes in Norden. It’s so cold that they say there are people who starve to death, but almost no one freezes to death. I mean, there probably are, but just as a metaphor.”
“Not that story.”
“Pardon?”
“The story you told after that.”
“….”
“You said you didn’t think of it that way. Why is that?”
“Ah….”
Euro nodded at Melione’s question. Clope had said that such cotton was a truly tragic flower.
She had said it was too tragic to have to choose between spending a cold winter without cotton or giving up the cotton to fill one’s stomach.
“That… I didn’t say it with any particular meaning. I was just curious at the time, so I asked my sister a few things.”
“What?”
“I asked how the cotton keeps blooming when the land is so barren. If the land becomes more barren as the cotton grows, then the amount of cotton should gradually decrease.”
“….”
“But the cotton keeps growing. My sister said that the cotton in Norden is a bit different.”
She said that cotton normally doesn’t grow well in cold regions. Rather, it’s a plant that grows well in places like Silon, but because there is no demand, there are no places cultivating it, making it a rare plant in the South.
Even if they could have sold it to the North, they might have tried to cultivate it, but since Norden already had it in abundance, no one bothered to grow it.
“She said the cotton in Norden grows well on its own without needing to be cultivated. It blooms even in the most barren land. So, you can’t conclude that the land becomes more barren because of the cotton.”
“….”
“I thought… maybe it just seems that way because the land was already barren to begin with. If you look at it that way, I thought it was a relief that at least the cotton grows well. It’s not because of the cotton.”
Of course, there was another reason why Euro thought so. Even if it were because of the cotton, his desire not to think of it that way was stronger.
To Euro, the cotton felt like a dream, and eating felt like reality. Isn’t living, after all, the act of eating? If one does not eat, one dies. Therefore, everyone must face reality.
Of course, in Norden, both are related to survival, so such a metaphor might not be accurate, but to Euro, the two inevitably felt different.
It was because he had always lived a life that was merely flashy on the outside—like a polished apricot that tastes sour. Despite not even having money to buy a meal, hadn’t he spent his whole life striving to become someone’s dream?
Being an idol is ultimately a profession of selling dreams, yet even he had never come close to that dream. Reality was always so miserable that words couldn’t describe it. That was all.
Always sparkling, as if that life were his everything. While in reality, he struggled without even enough money for rent, blindly grasping at a dream that would never be caught.
“If you think about what caused it, you forget what is truly important.”
“….”
“If you think it’s because of the cotton, you forget what you gained thanks to the cotton. That’s why you end up thinking of it as a tragedy, because you view it as something you failed to obtain because of it.”
The dream of becoming an idol was the only hope he had gained from his tragic life. If not for that, he probably wouldn’t have lived so diligently.
It was the same now. If he hadn’t had those experiences, he probably [stolen content]would have given up easily. He would have [unauthorized copy]stood by and watched everything, claiming he was destined to die anyway.
Because he had gained so much back then, Euro could willingly entrust his life to saving someone else. It was thanks to realizing how wonderful it is to gain the will to live because of someone.
Euro blinked, leaning his head slightly against the wall of the carriage. That day, Euro had told Clope something similar.
“My sister probably thought of herself while looking at the cotton.”
“….”
“Because she also lived a life where she had to constantly contemplate her own value….”
For some reason, pushing back his drooping eyelids, Euro murmured in a small voice. Because he had been exhausted throughout the journey, his body had become heavy like water-soaked cotton.
“My sister was someone who truly loved Norden, but everyone weighed her value against something else.”
Clope Leches had no sin other than being born beautiful, yet she was always treated as someone’s trophy or a tool for utility.
The King treated Clope as nothing more than a means to gain favor wherever he took her, and her brothers were the same.
Even Euro Leches had not loved her except as a means to satisfy his own twisted heart.
The Emperor of Paltreon [visit our site]had thought of sending Clope to Silon to kill her solely for his own purposes.
Fortunately, Gail truly loved Clope, and Clope felt the same, but that wasn’t entirely positive either.
He knew how many things Gail had done to possess Clope. Clope likely knew this as well.
There might have been better ways, but Gail was currently playing in the palms of the Emperor. If he couldn’t escape his father, nothing would eventually be resolved.
In the end, Clope was destined to be swept here and there. There was nothing she could properly do on her own.
She wasn’t in an environment where she could, nor was there anyone to help her. And yet, they treated her as if Clope Leches were the cause of all the misfortune.
Becoming Clope’s fiancé became a task of bearing all sorts of scandals, and she became like a seed of war, causing disputes with Paltreon for no reason.
“It’s not because of Clope….”
With those words, Euro fell fast asleep. Melione gazed at him silently. Just then, the carriage jolted violently, and Euro’s body, leaning against the wall, lurched forward.
Melione quickly reached out to support Euro’s head. Then, he carefully moved to where Euro was and sat side-by-side with him.
Euro, sleeping as if he had fainted, did not wake, and Melione let Euro’s head rest on his shoulder.
Soft hair touched the nape of his neck. Although he intensely disliked anything [Read on Read BL Novels]touching his neck, it wasn’t bad when Euro leaned on him.
Melione lightly pressed his cheek against Euro’s head, which was leaning into him, and whispered softly.
“That is what you call a tragedy, Euro.”
“….”
“How can you say a life that can only be endured by forgetting what is truly important is not a tragedy?”
Melione thought that Euro, who tried to find hope somehow in such a cruel environment, was the strange one.
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