By Zephyria As expected, I heard ugly laughter cackling in the dimly lit space. Even if I filmed this and reported it, I’d only get a light punishment, or I’d be quietly fired as if I never existed. Taking all the blame, of course. Department Head Kim’s power in the company was growing steadily. Firmly.
Clutching my nauseous stomach, I barely managed to slide open the door. Young women and old men were sitting in the tatami room, acting lecherously. Among them, the familiar faces were Department Head Kim and some of his cronies. It seemed to be a very private gathering.
“…Department Head.”
“Oh, Manager Kwon is here? Sit down. Go on, offer that madam a strong drink. No, stick right next to her.”
A strong force shoved my shoulder roughly. It was a very coarse gesture. That alone made me feel like I was stuck in the mud.
In the end, it was serving drinks. An old woman was smiling at me from afar. My stomach, already emptied several times, churned again.
My dignity was being insulted. Even though Department Head Kim had blatantly used me before, it had never been this bad. Where did I get on his bad side again?
I clenched my trembling hands tightly and went to the old woman’s side.
“Are you Kwon Yi-tae?”
A wrinkled hand grabbed my wrist firmly. Already old and frail, yet she had the strength of a wrestler, and it hurt so much that I was getting a bruise. I barely swallowed to hold back my churning stomach. The old woman slowly stroked my wrist. It felt like thousands of ants were crawling all over my body.
“…Yes.”
“I heard you were handsome… Shall we see each other often? I’ll help you out. You’re lucky.”
She grinned, revealing her ugly gums. There was no one around to help me. Fucking bastard. I should sue them all for sexual harassment. Anger was boiling over. I wanted to shake off the old woman’s arm. I no longer had the energy to endure this shitty present and imagine a golden future.
I wanted to run away.
“Now, pour me some wine here. Even better if it’s from your lips.”
“Madam Cha! You have a great sense! Haha!”
“Ehehehehe!”
The people next to her burst into laughter at the old woman’s words. Some even clapped and cheered. I was filled with murderous intent. Why do I have to be here doing this? Everyone’s crazy. They must be out of their minds.
Using the excuse of pouring wine, I pulled my wrist away and tilted the bottle with trembling hands. ‘He must be nervous. After all, getting in with Madam Cha is a great favor, isn’t it?’ I heard them whispering in my ear.
The faces of the power-hungry dogs drooling over power came into view.
In the distance, Department Head Kim was looking at me with a subtle expression. A face full of arrogance and inferiority, unable to bear his envy.
He pushed me into this abyss and was watching. While the old woman was fondling my leg, saying I was like her grandson, Department Head Kim glared at me with a jealous face. My head was throbbing. He thought he was doing me a favor.
Disgusting.
So terrible and ugly.
“Shall we see each other often, Yi-tae?”
“…”
I didn’t want to answer. If I had to live a life enduring such things, I’d rather die. Piercing noise, panting breaths, and dizzying alcohol fumes stung my nose. My vision was spinning.
“You can only survive if you have connections, huh?”
“…”
“Or do you not like Department Head Kim? I can help you. Just treat me well. Or I can put you in the Head of department position right away. I even got someone made a factory manager thanks to me, so think about it.”
Her hand was reaching deeper and deeper. I felt a damp and ugly desire. The smell from someone who was already rotten to the core was staining me. Then, other hyenas coveting that hand rushed at her. I barely managed to escape from their midst.
I crawled out of the room as if fleeing from the insane people. I had to run away immediately. Disgusting. It was disgusting. I clearly made eye contact with Department Head Kim, but he just looked at me. With indifferent eyes. With a face that rebuked me as if saying, ‘Can’t you even endure this?’
He was out of his mind too. He was crazy. He had given up being human. Or maybe he was a monster from the start. That’s why he can endure even in a place like this.
“Haa, haa…”
I barely caught my breath. The cold air stung the inside of my nose. Oxygen filled my stupid brain. I was tormented by the hallucination that I might explode like this. Self-loathing and disgust grabbed me.
People rushing to touch the old woman and monsters rubbing against each other and enjoying themselves were tangled up in a mess. What kind of words were being exchanged in their ears in that chaos? Words that shouldn’t be heard were flowing. I was in such a place.
I grabbed a utility pole and vomited again. A stabbing pain, as if needles were poking my stomach, surged.
‘Gyeoul… This winter is too long.’
You must have been my luck after all. The moment Gyeoul erased his traces from my life, misfortune poured down on me. It was already a swamp. I was struggling in a pile of filth, not knowing where I was flowing. Still, I didn’t want to die.
“…I miss you.”
A tear fell. I banged my head against the utility pole. I don’t know how to get out of this place. I felt a sensation of falling. I couldn’t even tell where it hurt the most.
With a hand full of cold sweat, I barely picked up my phone. Through the blurry vision, I saw my last conversation with Gyeoul. The fading vision became clearer. If I had been a little more crazy, I would have called you again. I might have cried and begged you to save me.
But I couldn’t drag Gyeoul, who had already returned to his orbit, back into the swamp.
I wiped the drool and stood up neatly. I had a lot to do. I had so much to do… I didn’t have time to waste like this.
I forced myself to focus my blurry vision and moved my feet. As if I hadn’t stayed here. I pretended to be okay like that. I felt like I could survive if I did this. Still, there was good news that I could see you in a few days.
I took a deep breath until my lungs were full. Until it burst. If I keep doing this, I’ll get better someday. Surely.
The ship that had lost its destination was staggering forward again.
∗ ∗ ∗
Ian was an amazing boss.
His work skills were incomparable to anyone else. So this is the kind of talent that gets promoted quickly. Instead of being jealous of Ian’s genius, I could only marvel at him. It was already too much to keep up with his pace.
“Ian. What should I do with this?”
I presented him with the data I had worked on for days and nights.
He was truly someone I could learn a lot from. The negative feelings I had at first had long since disappeared. I stayed with Ian at the company, never leaving his side. I was even willing to follow his eating habits if possible. If I could learn even a little of his abilities.
“Gyeoul, you’re like… a puppy these days.”
“Yes? Are you saying I’m like a dog?”
“No, a cute Maltese wagging its tail. It’s not an insult.”
Ian laughed loudly. He always looked at me like I was some strange creature. I knew he thought I was cute, but Maltese was a bit too much.
I’m even older than him. After we became friends, I asked him his age, and he said he was a year younger. Then he said something strange about how he thought I was about four years younger.
“I’ll take it as a compliment that I’m cute.”
“Yeah. You’re cute, Gyeoul. But you’ll have to rewrite that data.”
“…Yes?”
My world just collapsed.
How did I make that data? But Ian’s insight was always right, and it must have been my fault. My shoulders drooped. Another late night was confirmed. Ian tapped my shoulder, sensing that I was feeling down.
“You only need to fix a few things. I’ll make sure you don’t have to work late anymore.”
“I respect you, Ian. I’ll follow you for life!”
“Come to the conference room later with your laptop. There are also things we need to investigate, so I have something to talk about. Don’t bring coffee or snacks. I’ll buy them.”
I bowed 90 degrees. He was the perfect boss. If I could keep working with Ian, my abilities would grow several times over. What kind of place is the North American branch? Is it a place full of such talented people?
He burst out laughing. Now that laugh was so familiar that it felt strange if I didn’t hear it.
Ian, as always, put a few caramels in my hand. He said they were from America. It’s not like I’m a child. I asked him why he did that once, and he said I looked like I liked sweets.
Do I look like I’m going to get diabetes?
But the taste was amazing, so I accepted it without complaint. I had been collecting the ones he gave me every time we met, and I already had enough to fill a small jar.
“Gyeoul, are you interested in learning more about work? In a bigger world than now.”
“…If I have the opportunity, I also have the desire to grow.”
“Hmm, is that so? I see.”
With that nonchalant answer, Ian turned back and started his work again.