By Zephyria 
Unaware that the ending of this world was set, cherishing his sister so dearly, unaware that he had changed, Seong Hae-min, who had been flustered and beaming to appease me without knowing anything.
Was it due to the burden or guilt I unintentionally acquired? At first, I found Seong Hae-min pathetic and disliked him. But like a spreading wildfire… later, I became so angry that he didn’t take care of himself as much as I did.
And now…
‘He’s family. The only one I have.’
Doubts and distrust whispering that it was impossible were buried out of sight. The premises I used as an excuse to avoid responsibility, ‘the plot I can’t change,’ and ‘characters unrelated to me,’ all crumbled like a castle that had allowed a siege.
For my sake… let’s change Seong Hae-min’s future.
As the sun lowered its altitude, shadows stretched sideways with it. I gazed past the faint, distant, slanting shadows for a long time.
The very long day was coming to a close.
Saving Seong Hae-min. That was the firm resolution I had gained through the long day trip. Though I thought it was unlike me, I couldn’t help it.
However, there was something else I unfortunately learned through the day trip: the misunderstandings and misconceptions Min Si-hu and Ban Pyo-ran had about me!
Although I told Min Si-hu that we would talk properly next time, if I explained it wrongly, it might just deepen the misunderstanding, like it did with Ban Pyo-ran. Instead of stubbornly insisting on a false explanation, I had to think about how to strategically approach the tangled situation.
Meanwhile, Ban Pyo-ran began to distance himself from the Four Heavenly Kings, especially Lee Beom. But I didn’t have the energy to care. I still had to figure out how to make Seong Hae-min quit being a delinquent, and there were mountains of things to resolve.
Just as I was trying to focus on the problems one by one, a few days later, we had to rush to the hospital. It was because we received news that Grandmother Lee Beom was critically ill.
This won’t do!
The familiar smell of various medicines and disinfectants filled my nose. The large potted plant at the hospital entrance had grown and spread its branches in the meantime.
This damned hospital. I’ve been here too many times.
One time, Seong Hae-min had a traffic accident, the next time Seong Hae-min dragged me along, saying he was worried about my health, and this time, it was because Lee Beom’s Grandmother was unwell. It wouldn’t be strange if I had to visit again soon to see Ban Pyo-ran’s mother.
In truth, after the picnic, I had been keeping my distance from Lee Beom because Ban Pyo-ran had misunderstood something strange. I felt awkward, wondering if I had acted in a way that caused such a misunderstanding. But since Grandmother was unwell, I couldn’t possibly not come.
Of course, news that a friend’s Grandmother was critically ill was not something to be easily dismissed. Especially for someone like Lee Beom, who grew up under his Grandmother’s care, it was even more so.
However, the reason I could stand here idly musing about the hospital was because I was certain Lee Beom’s Grandmother would not pass away.
It was obvious. She didn’t pass away in the novel!
Yet, when I actually arrived, I was surprised by the funeral-like atmosphere, far more so than I had imagined.
“Ah, Hae-jun and Hae-min are here.”
Min Si-hu, who had been lingering outside the ICU, spotted us and greeted us. Even Min Si-hu, who always played the role of lightening the mood, was subdued today. I hadn’t expected anyone to be cheerful, given the destination was the ICU, but still…
This was the first time I had seen everyone with such expressions. It was as if their emotions had been erased with an eraser. The blank, expressionless faces of everyone felt incredibly unfamiliar. At the same time, the sensation of finding them unfamiliar made my chest feel uneasy.
“Where’s Beom?”
“He said he’d be on the rooftop.”
“I see.”
“He seems… really struggling.”
In response to Seong Hae-min’s question, Min Si-hu lowered his head and answered. It wasn’t visiting hours, and we weren’t close relatives, so we all shuffled towards the hospital lobby. No one spoke.
As we walked side-by-side in silence, Ban Pyo-ran, who wasn’t present, naturally came to mind. In the original novel, Ban Pyo-ran… comforted everyone here.
Because Ban Pyo-ran had a mother who had been ill for a long time, she knew many people at the hospital and was good at offering words of comfort as a caregiver and family member. However, since declaring she would give up on Lee Beom, Ban Pyo-ran had truly been keeping her distance from Lee Beom.
Upon realizing this, the thought, ‘Ah, just as Ban Seo-yi said, I’ve really changed the novel a lot,’ struck me, and at the same time, a sudden fear welled up.
Ban Pyo-ran liked Lee Beom, and Lee Beom liked Ban Pyo-ran, and I felt I had changed even their predetermined possibility of happiness. I had tried not to think too deeply about them precisely because of this.
But… while I couldn’t be sure of anything else, I was certain that Lee Beom’s Grandmother would be fine.
So, even if Ban Pyo-ran wasn’t here, wouldn’t it be alright for Lee Beom to hear some comfort?
‘I’m not confident about offering comfort, though….’
If Seong Hae-min had been hospitalized in the ICU like this, I would have been terribly anxious too. In fact, I was completely out of my mind when the accident happened.
I looked at Seong Hae-min standing beside me, made up my mind, and walked towards the rooftop. I didn’t want to crowd Lee Beom and take away his time alone, so I told the others I was going to the restroom. I intended to be back soon.
As soon as I entered the clean rooftop lounge, which seemed recently built, I saw Lee Beom. He was so tall that he was easy to spot from afar.
He was leaning against the railing. I stood beside him in silence.
“……”
Lee Beom didn’t move even after sensing my presence, gazing at the sky for a long time. The hospital rooftop was quiet, with no one else around. Only the occasional gust of wind was loud.
I had come up with the intention of offering comfort, but I couldn’t find the right words to start with. Whatever I said felt awkward, so I ended up gazing at the sky aimlessly, just like Lee Beom.
The sky, on the cusp of summer, was clear and blue. It was a bright, cloudless day. The sun, now much closer, was dazzling.
“Seong Hae-jun.”
“Yeah.”
Without even glancing my way, Lee Beom, who had been looking at the sky, called my name, somehow knowing it was me.
“……”
He remained silent for a while after that. Normally, I would have scoffed inwardly and cursed him, but today, I quietly watched Lee Beom’s profile and waited for him to speak. His thick, black eyelashes blinked frequently.
Tap, tap. Lee Beom tapped his fingers on the railing. A regular rhythm continued.
“You know how sorrow is halved when shared, right?”
“Yeah.”
“But….”
Lee Beom’s lips trembled as his words trailed off. That alone showed how much he was agonizing and tense, leaving me speechless. My throat felt choked.
His downcast, black eyes seemed to glisten like glass beads, and I found myself instinctively reaching for tissues. Suddenly, Lee Beom let out a faint, deflated laugh.
“Don’t take my sorrow.”
“……”
“If you take my sorrow, my sorrow should be halved. But strangely….”
“……”
“It doubles.”
I remained silent, offering no reply. I wanted to ask what he meant, but somehow, it felt wrong to ask. He didn’t seem to be expecting an answer either, as his black eyes turned back to the sky. The air, devoid of passing planes or birds, enveloped my cheeks.
Lee Beom’s hand on the railing came into view. It was a hand that was a good inch longer than mine, clenched into a fist so tightly that veins and tendons stood out. Looking closely, it was a desperate attempt to hide his trembling anxiety.
Unfamiliar.
That one word struck my heart and surfaced. More than his towering height or his build, which could easily take down several people, it was his face, deliberately hardened and feigning stoicism, that began to catch my eye.
‘Is this… Lee Beom?’
For the first time, he seemed like a boy his age. Like a 17-year-old high school student who enjoyed playing with friends and was curious about life.
Impulsively, I called out to him.
“Lee Beom.”
“Yeah.”
His black eyes, like Go stones, turned to me as if he had been waiting. For a moment, I was at a loss for words.
I hadn’t called him for any particular reason…
But I had come up to the rooftop to offer comfort. After much thought, I offered the best comfort I could think of.
“…Grandmother will be alright. Really.”
I felt awkward for offering such clumsy comfort that anyone could hear. I realized I was better suited to holding a pen at my desk than comforting others. Lee Beom’s eyes, looking down at me, rippled faintly like a water shadow in the wind.
After a moment of thought, I added the strongest assurance I could offer.
“If you can’t trust me… trust me. Trust me.”
In that moment, I hoped my pure sincerity would reach him. I had read the novel, and I was certain that no matter how gravely ill Lee Beom’s Grandmother was, or how close to death she was, she would not pass away. Even if it was a cliché, this was the best I could give.
As if a scent that had been floating in the air finally settled on the ground, marking the end of a long flight, Lee Beom’s trembling slowly subsided.
“…Thank you.”
After a long while, Lee Beom murmured heavily. The gaze of gratitude quickly fell away. With a much more relaxed look than before, he gazed down at the city.
The wind blew gently, slowly, and steadily. As if to dry all the damp anxiety and fear that had pooled in my heart, as if to blow away the fog-like anxiety that enveloped my chest.