By Zephyria 
His long fingers repeatedly and intimately massaged my perineum, easing my tension. My toes tingled.
It was as I trembled with a peculiar, ticklish feeling in my chest that his fingertip, pressing against my entrance, softly pushed inside.
And at that moment, Do Yun-hyeok stopped.
It was such a sudden halt that I wished he would make a decision, whether to push the finger, which felt as hard as a wooden stick, further in or pull it out.
“…?”
“…”
Do Yun-hyeok, frozen still, looked down at me without a word. The dim lighting made it hard to read his expression.
Did something go wrong?
My heart lurched.
“…”
Just as I thought…
Fragments of thoughts, lingering in my mind, slowly gathered and formed a single sentence.
‘It’s no wonder… it won’t work with a man, will it?’
My mind went blank after completing the question.
I had certainly felt a physiological fear of anal sex myself, and had even briefly considered that perhaps today wasn’t the day and it would be better to postpone it, but…
However, that fear was nothing compared to the dread this question brought.
‘Can’t… do it?’
Intellectually, I understood that it was a possibility. But facing it in reality, I was suddenly terrified.
That Do Yun-hyeok couldn’t become sexually aroused by me, couldn’t penetrate…
I quickly wrapped my arms around Do Yun-hyeok’s body and pressed my bare chest against him. His body was hot, almost sticky. Yet, my naked body felt cold. The extremities of my body instantly chilled. My fingertips, gripping his back as if trying to dig into his skin and muscles, burned as if scalded. But I couldn’t let go of Do Yun-hyeok.
“You…”
“…”
I couldn’t even form a voice to answer. I managed to gather saliva and wet my throat. My heart pounded.
Do Yun-hyeok lowered his lips close to my ear and whispered, as if asking the most intimate secret.
“Have you ever done it alone?”
“Huh?”
“Here.”
As I blinked and asked again, Do Yun-hyeok tapped his finger.
Do Yun-hyeok’s face was so close that his nose almost touched mine. His furrowed brow, with veins showing, looked incredibly serious, as if he had gathered all his patience.
The hands that had been tightly embracing his back slowly loosened their grip. The soft bedding touched the back of my head.
“…Huh?”
After making another strange sound blankly, my brain finally started working properly.
‘Alone?’
Doing what?
‘…Anal masturbation?’
I had certainly touched myself while showering alone. I couldn’t exactly call it masturbation, but it was true that I had inserted a finger or so…
“Th-that…”
But the words wouldn’t come out. I just trembled my lips.
Overwhelmed by both relief and confusion, I foolishly exposed my flustered state without being able to hide the embarrassing truth. I had no room to shamelessly deny it.
And in this situation, that would be no different from confirming it.
That I practiced and prepared for such acts because I liked Do Yun-hyeok, because I wanted to do such lewd things with him.
As the meaning of my actions dawned on me, my face turned bright red.
At such close proximity that our breaths mingled, admitting that fact made my face burn as if on fire.
I just opened and closed my lips like a goldfish.
No… how did he know right away after just touching it a little?
“Ha, fuck.”
Do Yun-hyeok suddenly muttered a curse and propped himself up on his elbow next to my head, burying his face. I just stared with wide eyes at the hot, heavy weight resting on my collarbone.
Lying beneath Do Yun-hyeok, I nervously wriggled my fingers, when something large and hard pressed against my thigh again.
Do Yun-hyeok let out a sigh and mumbled.
“…Cute…”
“…Hm?”
“Ah, fuck, really…”
Swallowing his curse, Do Yun-hyeok gently pressed his hips downwards.
The weight on me gained force and began to move slowly, as if predicting a back-and-forth motion. Do Yun-hyeok himself didn’t seem to realize he was doing it.
Something very hard brushed against my hip bone. I held my breath like prey facing a predator.
‘But is it okay to be like this?’
Do Yun-hyeok wasn’t just big.
It’s common sense that something so large would be difficult to be extremely hard, but it felt like something harder than bone had just grazed my hip bone.
Even if blood had rushed to make it hard, the origin was clearly soft flesh, yet the rigidity was unbelievable.
I instinctively grabbed Do Yun-hyeok’s arm. It was a reflex action, like a survival instinct.
“No, but…”
“Hm?”
Do Yun-hyeok, his eyes hazy, looked at me. Though I called out to him for survival, it was difficult to speak.
“That… actually, there.”
“…”
“My fi-finger… not even one could go in…”
I mumbled quickly, my face red.
“Will… will it work?”
“Ha…”
After finishing my words in a mumble, I stole a glance at Do Yun-hyeok’s reaction. Do Yun-hyeok pulled me into another hug, sighing deeply like a man burdened by deep thought.
I was held tightly in his strong arms, but I could still breathe. He couldn’t bring himself to crush me, as the muscles in his arms supporting the mattress bulged.
Do Yun-hyeok’s breath, touching my shoulder and neck, was incredibly rough and hot. I rolled my eyes, embarrassed.
“Hae-jun.”
“Uh-huh?”
“I really…”
Do Yun-hyeok gritted his teeth, clearly struggling to hold back. He gave a faint smile and lightly bit and released my earlobe.
“I’ll make it not hurt.”
Do Yun-hyeok was clearly smiling, but for some reason, he looked like someone whose fuse had blown. I swallowed hard.
Do Yun-hyeok squeezed more lotion into his palm and pressed his wet fingers into the closed folds, as if crushing them. My legs kept drawing inward defensively. But with Do Yun-hyeok firmly in the center, it only resulted in me wrapping my legs around his back.
His unhesitating fingers parted my buttocks and dug inside. My jaw tensed. Do Yun-hyeok’s fingers seemed thick too.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah…”
I closed my eyes and nodded. Though he asked kindly, his fingers, lacking any leisure, piston-ed up and down, widening the opening.
A dull pain arose in a place that had never had anything inserted into it. But at the same time, the sensation of my sensitive spot being repeatedly rubbed was strange, and the inner part of my thighs trembled.
It was completely different from when I had tried it alone in the bathroom. Theoretically, it was the same action, but in reality, it was entirely different.
“Tell me if it hurts…”
“Yeah…”
His voice, though trying to hide its urgency, sounded so gentle that my guard began to lower, yet my pounding heart showed no signs of calming down. Looking at his face, which was glazed over but furrowed in concentration, made me feel even more frantic. I felt like my heart was going to break.
I grabbed the pillow next to me and covered my face. Blocking my vision completely put me at ease.
I was curious about Do Yun-hyeok’s expression, but I didn’t have the confidence to show him my own.
I buried my face in the soft pillow and suppressed my moans. My breathing became ragged and broken.
“Wow… it’s opening up.”
“…”
My spread legs twitched. To say something like that to my face! But the intense stimulation made my legs weak and my hips lose strength, leaving me no room to retort.
I was glad I had covered my face with the pillow. I felt like I wouldn’t be able to look at him.
“Hae-jun, try to relax a little, okay?”
As I clutched the pillow tightly, Do Yun-hyeok gently lifted the pillow covering my face and checked my complexion.
His thumb softly traced my lips, which I had been biting hard. The breath I had been holding back escaped. I gasped and cried.
“Ugh. Hnn…”
Do Yun-hyeok kissed me, coaxing me with off-beat moans. His wet, warm lips continued to press down on mine. He licked my lips like a cat.
While he distracted me with slow, pecking kisses, another finger pushed its way into the wet, hot opening. The movement, gently spreading and probing the hole, made my insides feel strange. Do Yun-hyeok fumbled with my inner walls.
It was hard to describe it as anything other than strange.
Amidst the sharp, stinging pain, a floating sensation stirred my chest. It felt like something was pulling my soul upwards. I kept letting out strange sobbing sounds.
“Does it hurt?”
Do Yun-hyeok asked, as I bit my lip in embarrassment and groaned.
“Ugh… No, it’s… it’s strange…”
“Strange?”
“Uh, uh…”
The distinct feeling of something foreign, and a clear rejection of that foreign object. Up to this point, it was definitely the same as before.
But the feeling was different.
The dullness and dryness I felt when I tried it alone. It was completely different from that state of near numbness.
Looking at Do Yun-hyeok gazing down at me with an aroused expression, and remembering his hand moving inside me, I felt like I was about to ejaculate without even being aroused. My blood boiled.