By Zephyria 
「Ho-oh.」
Chaos let out a sound that would have likely been an intrigued expression if its face could be seen. To that entity, Kim Si-baek made his declaration.
“I will substitute your apostle with a human. Did you not say that when I saved Un-i in the memories of the regression, you were offered a supreme delicacy?”
「I did.」
“The offering you received must surely be my future.”
In that dream where he was asked to choose between two options, Kim Si-baek had met a brother who resembled the one in reality. If so, would the version of himself reflected in the dream not also resemble the future that would have existed in the present?
In the dream, Kim Si-baek had achieved a brilliance of honor as a fencer greater than anyone else. Having met his brother early, his life must have been a smooth path of success.
And that future, he had relinquished to save Tae-un. It was the price Chaos had received.
If so, would the second price he offered not be obvious? He only had to offer the glory of being an apostle of a god whose name shook the mak slecht, and the honor of becoming a holy spirit after death. Even the divine power he had cultivated his entire life.
Chaos affirmed his conjecture.
「Correct. The future of you becoming an apostle is an incomparably sweet offering.」
“Then take it this time as well.”
「It is one short.」
“What do you mean?”
「That child is the first apostle we gathered. We spent countless efforts turning back time repeatedly; would your future alone not be insufficient?」
“…….”
「A human for a human, an apostle for an apostle. A simple logic.」
It took some time for Kim Si-baek to understand the meaning of those words. No, it would be more accurate to say that he realized it instinctively the moment he heard it, but because it was a condition he hadn’t considered, his realization was delayed.
After staring at the void for a moment, Kim Si-baek’s lips moved slowly.
“……In other words, you mean you will take my life as well?”
「Do you now feel hesitation? Whether god or human, a life is equally whole, so it cannot be easy to give up. I shall permit you to cancel the offering.」
When a reaction that would be likened to “understanding” in human terms dwelled in Chaos’s voice, Kim Si-baek swallowed a bitter smile. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t momentarily flustered when the option of substituting it with death was presented.
That was why Kim Si-baek felt ashamed. Now that he knew the reason why Tae-un repeatedly underwent regression, how could he hesitate, even for a fleeting moment? Surely, Tae-un would never have hesitated once.
If there was only one thing he felt guilty about, it was Biyendwe, who would be waiting outside. Not only had he severed that bond himself after becoming a servant of a god, but he was now dying willfully in a place where they could not even reach.
Knowing that he wouldn’t be seen, Kim Si-baek instinctively looked back, let out a short sigh, and spoke.
“Take it.”
A giant eye opened in the sky where there had been only deep darkness. Inside the eye, which was as vast and boundless as the darkness covering the surroundings, countless other eyes were clustered, and within those eyes, other eyes were layered.
Just as the voice spoke as one despite being infinitely overlapped, the infinitely perceived eyes gazed at Kim Si-baek as one.
「Young apostle of god. What is your true heart’s desire?」
While wondering why it still referred to him as a young apostle of god despite having decided to take him, Kim Si-baek answered without hesitation. It was his wish that had remained unchanged since he first told Biyendwe decades ago, and would remain unchanged in the future.
“I wish for that child to be happy.”
As soon as the last syllable fell, the giant eye blinked once, swallowing the burnt offering who stood alone in this space into the darkness beyond the eyelid.
✽ ✽ ✽
If the cause of an Id Portal’s occurrence is self-loathing, something close to the host themselves can appear as the Portal Keeper. However, it could never be a complete identical copy of the host.
But Tae-un’s Id Portal was different. Since he was on the verge of being completely fashioned as a Servant of Chaos, the magical energy was dense and pure, and Tae-un was precisely aware of what agitated him. The Portal Keeper manifested in the world of mental imagery was no different from Tae-un himself.
A host suffers a shock just from an ordinary Id Portal being cleared. Then, how great would the shock be if an Id Portal in which he himself was manifested were cleared? He was certain that the host would be weakened enough to be easily killed in reality.
Thus, as Kim Si-baek’s blade pierced the core manifested as a heart, Tae-un felt a relief despite the extreme pain, as if his heart were being torn apart alive. It was a blade without hesitation. Kim Si-baek would swing his sword without hesitation in reality as well, and he would survive.
However, if there was one thing he regretted, it was the act of showing him fragments of the past where he had killed Kim Si-woon.
He had exposed even the hideous nature he never wanted to be discovered, even if he revealed everything else. Even if he remained a monster that deserved to be killed in Kim Si-baek’s memory, he didn’t want to be resented for having killed his brother several times.
Kim Si-baek would remember him as something even more terrible. Not just a monster trying to destroy the world for mere interest, but a horrific bastard who brutally killed his own brother.
Thinking that hatred and loathing would be recalled when he looked back on him in the future made him feel a pain as if his soul were twisting, but it was better than being forgotten by him. And it was certainly more right than Kim Si-baek dying.
In a sense, it might have worked out well. A justifiable reason had been added for Kim Si-baek to solidify his resolve. He, who cherished his brother so dearly, would never forgive the person who killed his brother multiple times.
As long as he survived safely, Tae-un didn’t care if he faced any amount of criticism or condemnation. It was a fact for which there was no room for excuse.
Above all…
Was it not true that being a terrible monster was the correct state? A monster should die like a monster.
Therefore, when he regained consciousness, Tae-un—who thought he would either be back in reality or die without ever waking up—was bewildered to find himself trapped in the overflowing darkness of the surroundings.
He wondered if he was dreaming while unconscious, but that wasn’t it. The sensations were too vivid to be a dream seen just before death. Red blood was still streaming from his pierced upper body and heart, and with every breath, the pain of his body feeling as if it were being torn apart was etched clearly.
And the moment his perception reached the surroundings, an extreme surge of hatred and malice struck.
“Ugh…”
Tae-un groaned and clutched his head at the violent surge of emotion that momentarily erased even the physical pain. The hair on his skin stood up in chills, and the rushing malice crushed his reason.
He had experienced this once before—this thing that swallowed human reason and sensation, leaving only hatred to be emitted. The time he had killed Lee Han-gyeol without hesitation. The time he had destroyed the world without hesitation. The time he had completely become a monster called the Apostle of Chaos.
It was the future he feared most.
“What… did you do…”
What had he done until now to avoid becoming a monster like that? Only one step remained; he could not let everything be ruined here.
The situation was deteriorating by the second, but it wasn’t so urgent that he would become a monster right this instant. This sudden sign of exuviation must be due to Chaos’s whim. Judging it so, Tae-un let out a rough roar, but it seemed his prediction was wrong this time.
「I merely brought you here to show you.」
An indistinct form emerged from beyond the darkness. A vast, closed eye and the figure of someone being slowly consumed into it.
“…Si-baek hyung?”
As Tae-un reacted blankly, unable to comprehend the sight, the voice of Chaos flowed in.
「Child, in order to have you returned as a human, the young apostle of god has once again offered not only his future, but himself.」
Even after hearing that explanation, Tae-un’s brain could not keep up with the situation. Because he must never repeat the regrets of the past, it was a possibility he had never once considered—the possibility that Kim Si-baek would give up his future. It took an eternity for him to understand.
And that understanding turned into a new pain and rage.
“What lies did you tell hyung!”
「I conveyed no lies. It was entirely his choice.」
“Shut up!”
Tae-un rushed forward with a scream-like shout. In this moment, he felt neither the pain flowing with fresh blood nor the overflowing hatred. Only one single-minded determination—that he must save Kim Si-baek—moved him.