By Zephyria 
‘I won’t be greedy anymore. Please, just one day.’
Tae-hwon earnestly begged himself, who he didn’t know. So that he could prolong his ego. So that he could return to Kwon Rae-i as he was. And so that he could end everything with his own will.
“Please. Please. Please… Please!”
The cry tore savagely. His throat felt like it would burst.
“Please…!”
Had he ever been so desperate in his life?
Had he ever been so desperate for himself?
The face that had surfaced between the waves stared intently at Tae-hwon.
He couldn’t read the black eyes he met.
A moment like eternity passed,
And he, his thirty-year-old self, slowly turned away, leaving the screaming Tae-hwon behind. And then, he gradually sank back into the waves and disappeared. Then, the blood receded from Tae-hwon’s side, and the wind stopped.
The throbbing headache finally stopped. The moment the thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon hid himself in the collapsing world, everything became faint as the memories drifted far away. And Tae-hwon opened his eyes and woke up.
* * *
A body lying on a bed. Stiff fingers.
Cold sweat soaked his forehead.
It was a white bedroom somewhere. Tae-hwon, who had regained consciousness in an unfamiliar room, gasped and caught his breath.
“Heo, heok…”
The surroundings were quiet, but his head was filled with silent screams. Tae-hwon looked down at his hands. They were not stained with red blood. They were rough but pale and clean hands.
“Ah…”
With those trembling hands, Tae-hwon covered his face and gasped again. His memories were still waiting for him in the distance. Fortunately, Woo Tae-hwon had managed to push them away and return to reality.
Everything was as it was. For now.
“Tae-hwon-ssi.”
Then, warmth touched the back of his hand covering his face. It was a familiar touch.
‘Kwon Rae-i?’
Kwon Rae-i, who was sitting on a chair at the head of the bed, took Tae-hwon’s hand and lowered it. His closed vision opened, and he belatedly saw his face.
His paper-white skin was rough. His lips, which had been beautifully pink, were dry, chapped, and cracked.
He could even see blood clots inside his lips. It seemed he had been biting his mouth non-stop while Tae-hwon was lying unconscious. He had been watching over Tae-hwon’s side without sleeping.
Tae-hwon couldn’t hide his wavering gaze. The black eyes staring at him trembled, and his pulse quickened. He even felt pain all over his body.
Now that he looked, there was a thick bandage wrapped around his shoulder, which Kwon Hyeon-oh had torn. There was a large bandage on his face, which had been badly beaten. Besides that, there were several minor bruises and abrasions.
However, Kwon Rae-i was even more broken than Woo Tae-hwon, who was like that.
“Tae-hwon-ssi!”
The desolate air was broken by a desperate cry.
The pale blue-gray eyes he met as soon as he raised his head, his eyes were trembling violently.
The suppressed emotions exploded, and Kwon Rae-i climbed onto the bed and hugged Tae-hwon. He felt the arms tightly embracing him, the fingertips trembling violently. Then, a broken voice was heard.
“Tae-hwon, Tae, Tae-hwon-ssi…!”
Kwon Rae-i couldn’t continue speaking properly. A thin, sharp groan burst from his lips.
His voice was choked and cracked at the end of each word, and his wavering hands kept grabbing Tae-hwon’s shoulder. His touch was desperate, as if Woo Tae-hwon would disappear if he let go now.
“…”
Tae-hwon couldn’t move his body or speak. Kwon Rae-i’s warm body temperature enveloped him, and his rough breath scorched his neck as if to burn it away. Each breath was seeping into his ears so desperately.
“I can’t forgive it. Never again, never again, never… I was complacent. I should have been much more thorough. I should have been perfect.”
His eyes were seething with murderous resentment.
And, wet liquid seeped out.
It was tears. Hot tears flowed like beads down his cheeks, which were frozen white like a sculpture made of ice.
“I’ll repay it.”
His words, which burst out, were so passionate that they seemed to swallow Tae-hwon. It wasn’t just simple anger or revenge.
“I’ll take revenge a hundredfold for Tae-hwon-ssi’s injuries, so brutally that you’ll want to die.”
It was as if all the emotions that had been suppressed were pouring out at once, like a harsh spring rushing in after a long winter. Torment, delusion, suffering, disgust, and a deeper, more complex, and more complex passion that had crossed all boundaries.
Kwon Rae-i’s heart, which had surpassed the extreme of emotion, overflowed as it was, unable to be controlled by the emotion that had grown too large. The weight contained in those tears pressed down on Tae-hwon.
“Just give me one more chance.”
His cry, which contained so many things, echoed in every corner of the bedroom.
The hand grabbing Tae-hwon’s shoulder was so desperate, and his trembling body was so unstable. In response, Tae-hwon’s hand moved slowly. He barely raised his hand and stroked Kwon Rae-i’s trembling head. The eyes he met were shaking in the same way. He realized that he himself was shaking just as much.
Tae-hwon hugged him tightly with his injured body. He buried himself deeply and let out a ragged breath.
“Ugh, Young master.”
Tae-hwon’s fingers gripped his clothes as if to break them. His nails were broken from the traces of the fierce battle. The voice that burst out was also extremely rough.
“I’m sorry.”
Kwon Rae-i didn’t need to apologize to Woo Tae-hwon.
It was Woo Tae-hwon who had trusted him, and it was Woo Tae-hwon who had entrusted himself to him.
Rather, Woo Tae-hwon was extremely desperate right now. There wasn’t much time left.
“I… I think I’m remembering something,”
The low voice that he spat out reached Kwon Rae-i. He frowned slightly with his beautiful face.
“What did you say?”
Tae-hwon continued speaking with difficulty. With an unstable ego that he didn’t know when it would leave, he had to say goodbye to him.
“The moment I decided to kill Kwon Hyeon-oh, that bastard, the moment I put my murderous intent into action… The forgotten memories were uncontrollably revived, and my body moved on its own.”
“…Yes. So what. What happened to Tae-hwon-ssi?”
“My head ached like it was going to break. And now, there’s not much time left. I’m sure this is the last time we’ll be able to have a conversation like this.”
“The last time…?”
“If all the memories come back… then…”
Tae-hwon’s voice faded. The end of his words was buried in a sob that wouldn’t burst out.
Kwon Rae-i was shedding clear tears, but Woo Tae-hwon couldn’t even cry. No tears came out.
He was just holding Kwon Rae-i in his arms, incoherently spewing out the mixture of emotions that he had been carefully storing in his heart.
“I killed them. I killed them all in an instant.”
“So what. So what if you did?”
“The feeling of separating human flesh was eerily familiar, and the stench of blood felt natural. Every moment was fast, short, and intense. That was me, Woo Tae-hwon.”
“Whether Tae-hwon-ssi kills someone or not, does that matter? It’s a stroke of luck. Thanks to that, we’re alive like this now.”
“I know. I barely managed to survive like that. But now, there won’t be any more time.”
Tae-hwon, who raised his head, caressed Kwon Rae-i’s face. He groped and touched him as he reached, as it wasn’t the time to argue about this and that. This might be the last time he could touch him like this.
“If all the memories come back, I’ll definitely not be me.”
“Tae-hwon-ssi.”
“Woo Tae-hwon, who is not twenty years old, but thirty years old, that bastard… will only harm Young master.”
“I’m not Young master. And, even if that’s the case, it’s okay.”
“There are problems, more than enough!”
At that moment, Tae-hwon shouted without realizing it.
His voice, which expressed his feelings every time he heaved his shoulders and took a breath, became even more desperate.
“What if I do something terrible, huh?”
Then, Tae-hwon realized that the wall of his inner self, which he had built up firmly for a long time, was starting to crack.
Once the wall of the heart was opened, it was easy to collapse uncontrollably.
“What if I kill even Young master and try to run away?”
“I told you I’m not Young master! Whether it’s reformation or whatever, I have to do something. No, this time I’ll be even more thorough. I’ll lock you up in a triple iron cage, put Ankle shackles on your arms and legs, and even put a leash on you, and I’ll be with Tae-hwon-ssi. Of course!”
“It’s not natural. It won’t be as easy as it sounds. Even if you do such a thing, the problem is, the problem is…!”
“Even so, it doesn’t matter. I’ll take the time to persuade you. Slowly, like now.”
“Young master!”
Tae-hwon gritted his teeth and grabbed his cheeks. He caressed his ears and stroked his neck with his fingertips. He grabbed him with trembling fingers and shook his head.
Woo Tae-hwon’s touch contained the ignorance he had been turning away from.
Fear, suffering, and painful regret. He felt that the emotions he had been trying to avoid were overflowing through Kwon Rae-i at this moment. All of that overwhelmed Tae-hwon.
“That bastard… I’ll reject Young master again.”
“Say Rae-i. I’m Kwon Rae-i.”
“If I just pass away like this, I won’t be able to repay Young master for anything.”
“Kwon Rae-i.”
“It was terribly short. I should have realized it sooner, but in the end, I didn’t return anything, and I only received unilateral affection…”
“Rae-i…”
“After I return to my thirty-year-old self, I’ll stay at that destination forever…”
“…”
Tae-hwon finally realized. The weight of the emotions he held was so great, deep, beautiful, and at the same time fatal, that he couldn’t bear it himself.