#113

“…….”

“Even as a joke, you shouldn’t have said something like that. About running away….”

“I liked it. With those words, I felt like I had gained the whole world.”

Jung-hyun gave a weak laugh at Ho-jae’s earnest response.

“I’m sick and tired of someone’s life being sacrificed because of me.”

Looking up at him from the floor, Ho-jae asked.

“Why do you think of this as a sacrifice?”

“What else would it be?”

“It’s love.”

Jung-hyun’s face contorted as if in pain. Watching that expression, Ho-jae’s heart burned with anxiety. All he had to give, as someone with nothing, was his entire self.

Some might call that a sacrifice. But not to Shin Ho-jae. It was a choice no different from when he had given up his dreams and returned to Korea for his father. He didn’t want to make a choice he would regret, and it was only natural to give up things beneath the one thing he considered most important.

That was his love. He wished Jung-hyun could understand these feelings, but only a deep shadow cast over the other man’s face. Jung-hyun pushed Ho-jae’s shoulder and stood up.

“I can’t listen to this anymore.”

“CEO.”

“Give me the car keys.”

When Shin Ho-jae didn’t respond, Jung-hyun searched through the duffel bag himself and found the keys.

“I’ll go back up alone. Athlete Shin, do as you please. Either get in the passenger seat or stay here.”

“CEO…!”

The moment he opened the front door, Shin Ho-jae rushed up behind him and reached out. He blocked the opening door with his hand and pushed, slamming it shut with a thud. Since Ho-jae’s height was nearly equal to the door, he unintentionally ended up trapping Jung-hyun between himself and the door.

Jung-hyun looked up at him. His expression was cold. Overwhelmed by a sense of despair, Ho-jae gripped the edge of the doorframe tightly. His body had simply acted on the impulse to hold onto him; he hadn’t intended to make him angry.

“…I won’t talk about love or giving things up anymore. Just please stay here. I’m begging you.”

“…….”

“You were in a lot of pain. You were struggling so much that you told me to run away with you.”

Ho-jae whispered in a soft, quiet voice.

“I think I got too excited at the thought of becoming someone you could lean on. I didn’t mean to make you feel burdened. And I certainly didn’t mean to make you angry….”

Then, he carefully reached out and hugged him from behind.

“I just wanted to be a source of strength for you.”

Ho-jae spoke softly, burying his forehead in Jung-hyun’s shoulder.

He saw Jung-hyun slowly let go of the doorknob. Ho-jae took his hand, moved it away from the door, and took the car keys from his grip. Jung-hyun complied passively.

Relieved, Ho-jae urged him again to wash up and rest, but Jung-hyun shook his head and sat on the sofa.

After a moment of hesitation, Ho-jae awkwardly settled himself on the bare floor between the sofa and the front door.

This wasn’t the original plan. While he rested, Ho-jae had intended to take the car and buy groceries. Since only the convenience store had been open earlier, he had planned to go to the mart once it opened in the morning. He wanted to feed the exhausted and worn-out man a proper, warm meal.

But now, he felt he couldn’t take his eyes off him. Although he had the car keys, it wouldn’t be particularly difficult for Jung-hyun to leave this place if he set his mind to it. There were buses to the city on the main road, or the easy option of calling a taxi.

Shin Ho-jae sat with one knee pulled up, staring quietly at Jung-hyun, and Jung-hyun sat on the sofa, gazing back at him. A strange standoff ensued.

“…….”

It felt as if he were forcing Jung-hyun to stay against his will. He only wanted him to rest comfortably without worrying about his situation.

Feeling uneasy, Ho-jae averted his gaze, and Jung-hyun slowly turned his head toward the window. After some time had passed, he heard Jung-hyun whisper softly while still looking outside.

“…When I was young, my mother used money she had worked hard to earn to give me Alpha pheromone injections.”

Ho-jae looked up at him. Jung-hyun’s face looked somewhat vacant, as if tracing back to a point in the past.

“I thought it was because she wanted me to manifest as an Alpha. But thinking about it now….”

“…….”

“I think it was because she was afraid I would manifest as an Omega.”

Ho-jae’s brow furrowed slightly. What was he talking about…? Omega?

Before he could ask, Jung-hyun looked at Ho-jae and asked.

“Isn’t that right? Otherwise, there’s no way I would have manifested as an Omega just because some pheromones were swapped.”

“What…?”

Ho-jae asked with a confused face.

“What do you mean…? Manifested as an Omega? Who…?”

Jung-hyun didn’t answer and gave a light laugh. That was answer enough.

“Are you saying… that you’re an Omega, CEO?”

“Yes.”

“That can’t be….”

Impossible. Ho-jae muttered so softly that Jung-hyun could barely hear him.

He had never heard of someone manifesting after the age of thirty. That was why he had been so bewildered when Jung-hyun had requested pheromone extraction from him.

Furthermore, if he had truly become an Omega, there was no way Ho-jae wouldn’t have noticed. Such things were sensed instinctively.

But from Jung-hyun, there was nothing….

Suddenly, the scent of the pheromone perfume Jung-hyun wore came to mind. The scent he had faintly smelled today. Could that actually be real Omega pheromone?

…No, that was impossible. He had seen the perfume bottle with his own eyes. That smell was definitely the same as the one from the bottle.

Then what was it? Why was he suddenly telling him this…?

Ho-jae frowned deeply and glanced at Jung-hyun. He was smiling. Not with his eyes, but only with his mouth. It was the face he made when he was saying things he didn’t mean.

Ho-jae’s heart began to thud unnaturally. Was he lying?

……Why?

Only one answer came to mind. He wanted to push him away. Not wanting to believe it, Ho-jae reflexively shook his head.

“Why…… are you telling such a lie?”

Ho-jae barely managed to squeeze out the words. His face must have looked pathetic, contorted as if he were about to burst into tears.

“Would you try releasing your pheromones just once? I’ll try to guess what you smell like.”

Jung-hyun slowly closed his eyes. Then, he took slow, repeated breaths, as if he were actually sensing pheromones. Watching him with a feeling of despair, Ho-jae began to release a very faint amount of pheromones. By chance or design, Jung-hyun’s brow smoothed out for a moment and his eyebrows twitched.

Shin Ho-jae stared blankly at his face.

“……It really smells like the ocean. Clean, and metallic.”

He spoke slowly. Ho-jae gave a bitter smile and withdrew his pheromones.

“You told me what my pheromones smelled like before.”

His words were identical to what he had said back then, not a single syllable off. If he had truly manifested and wanted that fact acknowledged, he should have used a different method.

Did he want to push him away so badly that he would resort to such a foolish lie? It hadn’t even been a full day since they had held hands and run away.

“You chose me, CEO.”

A surge of anger rose within him. Hadn’t he told him to run away? Hadn’t he held onto his hand without letting go?

“Now that you’ve thought about it again, am I not good enough?”

“Ho-jae.” Jung-hyun called him quietly. He tried to hold it back, but his eyes grew hot. The moisture on his retinas blurred Jung-hyun’s face.

“Someone told me that everyone gets a little strange before they get married.”

“…….”

“They call it marriage blue.”

As he blinked, a tear slowly fell from his chin. Ho-jae couldn’t find any words and just kept staring at his face.

“I had a small argument with Writer Kyung. I think that made me feel a bit vulnerable.”

“…….”

“As a result, it seems I’ve ended up using you, Ho-jae.”

“……Don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry. …For continuing to lie.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“Just as you said, there were times when I regretted meeting you.”

“I told you to stop!”

Unable to contain himself, Ho-jae let out a weak shout.

“But I don’t regret it now.”

At those words, Ho-jae looked up. Tears were flowing down his chin, soaking his t-shirt.

“You said earlier that you wanted to be a source of strength for me. But Ho-jae, there has never been a time when you weren’t a strength to me.”

“…….”

“Thinking back, it’s been that way since we were in America. Not my mother… you were my only support.”

He was smiling softly. Yet, why did it feel so incredibly sad? He was clearly saying things that should be pleasant to hear. Words that felt like a confession. It was likely because, instinctively, Ho-jae felt these words were all being said for the last time.

“Thanks to you, I wasn’t weakened and could see reality clearly.”

He hated the word ‘reality’. Jung-hyun’s reality was likely everything he had set aside to run away with him. Their respective families, Ho-jae’s final match, the wedding with Kyung Seung-hee.

“…Why?”

Ho-jae asked through his tears.

“Why can’t it be me? Is it because I have less than Kyung Seung-hee?”

“It’s because you have too much.”

“What does that even mean….”

He shook his head weakly and looked down. He heard the sound of Jung-hyun rising from the sofa. Even in this moment of despair, every sense in his body was on high alert, following him.

He walked over slowly. Then, he passed him and stood before the front door.

“I’ll drive when we go back.”

Ho-jae pulled his knees up and grabbed his leg tightly. Then, looking up at him, he pleaded as if begging.

“I don’t want to. Please don’t go. Please choose me. I’m begging you… I’ll do anything….”

Jung-hyun looked down at him quietly and reached out. His cold, rough hand wiped away the tears flowing down Ho-jae’s cheek. Despite the effort, tears streamed down again, wetting his fingers.

“How could I choose you, even if it meant ruining your life?”

“You still love me. Your eyes are saying so.”

He could tell. Because he was filling Jung-hyun’s blue-grey pupils.

He felt he finally understood why he had held his breath every time he looked closely at him.

From the moment he proposed the sponsorship until now, the way he looked at him had never changed. Because he had loved him from the start.

“I don’t want to live leaning on someone like my mother did. And I don’t want to make you sacrifice yourself like my mother.”

“…Is it because of my final match? Then I’ll go. I’ll play the final and come back. If you promise to wait for me here, I’ll do anything.”

Jung-hyun shook his head and whispered.

“What I received today is enough.”

“…….”

“For me, this is truly enough.”

He could feel it instinctively.

That his role ended here.

That he had still failed to become the person Jung-hyun could lean on when he was struggling.

Ho-jae slowly released the grip on his leg. Jung-hyun took his hand away from Ho-jae’s face and turned around.

Click. The front door opened.

The sea breeze rushed in. The salt-laden wind slowly dried his tears.

Jung-hyun stepped out into the pebbled yard. Ho-jae’s lips trembled.

This isn’t the end, is it?

I won’t never see you again, right?

He wanted to ask, but the words wouldn’t come. Looking at Jung-hyun’s face as he watched him, Ho-jae spoke impulsively.

“I love you.”

Jung-hyun looked at Shin Ho-jae without a word, then slowly turned his back and crossed the yard.

Following his retreating figure, a single magnolia tree in the yard caught his eye. Cream-colored blossoms, looking elegant, were in full bloom on every dark branch.

It was a beautiful sight. So beautiful it felt tragic.

Yes, it was a season far too beautiful to part with the person he loved.

114 – Puck Drop