Since entering the academy, I had been receiving a bundle of letters every fourth Friday of the month. But none of them had ever troubled my heart like this.
And yet.
…And yet, I hesitated, finding it difficult to reach out.
I placed the bundle of letters on my desk in the study and left the room to attend class.
For some reason, I couldn’t concentrate throughout the morning classes. When I said I would have a simple lunch in my room while reading the letters, Marianne giggled and asked if I liked my siblings that much.
I couldn’t answer.
My siblings’ letters were surely mixed in there too, and I even felt sorry for not thinking of them until now. It was all because of the unnecessary things I had heard. If Marianne and Shayden hadn’t filled me with vain hopes, I wouldn’t have been so concerned.
…No, it’s my fault. It’s because I spent too much time in vain fantasies and daydreams. It was time to truly move towards Hwagyeong, and it wasn’t right to be so shaken by just a few letters.
I stopped blaming the children and slit open the envelope with a paper knife.
I stared at my name, written in neat handwriting that resembled Rubel’s personality, for a long time.
「 Dear Mika.
If you knew how many sheets of paper I wasted writing this first line, you would surely laugh.
There were times when I felt it was a shame that I could only send you a letter once a month, but now I think it’s a relief. If I could write to you every day, I would only think of you all day long.
Actually, it’s not much different now. I think I think of you several times a day.
After graduating from the academy, I became busier. I’ve been able to participate in the Imperial Council since February this year.
Did you know that the Imperial Council is held twice every month? In this council, we discuss how to wisely deal with everything that happens throughout the empire.
Brother Richard has also been consistently participating in the council since graduating from the academy. He had gathered forces and prepared a lot in advance, so it’s not easy to catch up.
Still, Duke Valentia has been very helpful throughout the meetings, so it’s manageable. Please tell her that I am very grateful, later. Duke Valentia is helping me because of you, so she will be even happier to receive your greetings.
I’m adding this because I’m worried you might worry, but Wesley Kiadris is not in the Imperial Palace right now. He headed back to the Yuil Mountains.
Have you heard the news that the Mana in the Yuil Mountains has recently surged? Maybe that’s why, but the Monsters are getting stronger and more numerous.
The story that Wesley Kiadris offered to help instead of resting is spreading as a good deed. The prevailing opinion is that Brother Richard sent Wesley to the Yuil Mountains because he was already concerned about public sentiment.
Everyone sees it positively, so no one seems to be suspicious. Following him, Imperial Knights are heading to the Yuil Mountains one by one in the form of business trips.
Actually, I think Wesley’s actions are natural. I wouldn’t have paid attention if you hadn’t been worried. Just in case, I’ve assigned a Wizard to keep an eye on him, so I’ll let you know if there’s anything suspicious.
…
There are still times when I can’t believe I’ve graduated.
You’re probably most curious about whether I’m still training consistently, right?
From the day after the New Year Festival until now, I haven’t missed a single day of training. When I wake up in the morning, I just wash my face and go out to run around the Martial arts training ground, and I always practice Imperial Swordsmanship.
Sometimes I think of the Move you taught me. It’s still insufficient to match my breathing and steps to the swordplay.
I want to meet you again soon, talk about swordsmanship, spar… I wish.
These days, when I look at the garden, I often think of the days when we strolled through the botanical garden together. I still can’t believe that there’s still a month left until we meet again.
I’ve picked out several restaurants I want to go to with you. The places we went to before were good, but there are so many great restaurants in the capital. I want to experience all the amazing, wonderful, and delicious things with you.
I miss you so much, Mika.
Next month, will I be able to come see you before the letter?
I’ll visit on the third Saturday of March.
Yours, Ruben. 」
…I calmly read the letter once, and then again.
I felt nauseous for some reason and couldn’t hold a pen, so I read it two more times and then let out a long sigh. My hands were restless, and I hesitated for no reason, but when I saw that class time was approaching, I got up.
I should have waited to open the letter until after I had finished all my afternoon schedule. I regretted it belatedly. It was hard to find peace of mind today, and I heard Douglas’s worried voice.
For some reason, I stared at him blankly.
I also considered grabbing Shayden or Marianne, but those two would know exactly who I was receiving a letter from and why I was acting like this. Just thinking about it made me feel embarrassed and awkward.
On the other hand, Douglas Mustang was a man who always spoke kindly and gently, so he would understand this well. He listened carefully to other people’s words and never gossiped.
With that in mind, I waited for Mage Boulder to leave and cautiously asked Douglas if he could offer me a cup of tea. He readily agreed.
I sat on the familiar sofa with a teacup in front of me. I watched Douglas put sugar in my teacup. Douglas asked me in a gentle voice, as if coaxing me.
“So, what’s troubling you so much?”
“…It’s about the common phrases used in letters. I’m not good at such etiquette and I haven’t taken a separate writing class, so I’m not sure if it’s correct.”
“Common phrases in letters…? What words are troubling you so much?”
“Is it common to write ‘Yours…’ followed by a person’s name at the end of a letter?”
“…Pardon?”
“I was wondering if it’s common to write one’s name as a nickname and then ‘Yours…’ in that way… If so, I’m worried because I don’t know how to respond appropriately.”
Thinking of me all day long, looking forward to the day we meet again, missing me…
All the words Ruben had written were sweet and lovely. I kept feeling lost, wondering if what I had received was a love letter. No. I was clearly misunderstanding. The child looked pretty, so I was making a fuss again for no reason.
But then I was worried that I might be rude and dismiss him without knowing it was a common phrase, and that the young one might be hurt and discouraged.
The sugar cube in the teacup melted away. The unstirred sugar settled neatly.
Douglas, who had been sitting quietly and pondering, spoke in a cautious voice.
“…Um, so… As far as I know… Ernhardt Young Master doesn’t have a lover, right…?”
“Yes.”
“What is your relationship with the person who sent the letter…?”
“A close friend.”
“…Friend… Are you the type to joke around with each other?”
I pondered for a moment. Did that child ever joke with me? No, he was always serious, quiet, gentle, and calm. I had never seen him mischievous, which made me worry even more.
I quietly shook my head, and Douglas hummed and dropped sugar into his own cup.
It was common for the other person to hesitate and remain silent when I asked something. I waited quietly.
“…Actually, just between friends… I wouldn’t seriously consider it if they wrote such words in a letter. The fact that you’re having these concerns… It seems like Ernhardt Young Master is feeling a change in your relationship with that friend. Is that right?”
“…”
I opened my mouth, then closed it. I wanted to say something, but I was confused because I couldn’t think of the right words. In the end, what I was about to say wasn’t my own story, but words borrowed from someone else. Words I had overheard.
“…I heard that that friend seems to like me.”
“Yes.”
“That… friend also said they would give up.”
“…Ah.”
“And, actually… It seemed like that. But receiving this kind of letter again is confusing.”
Douglas’s silence grew twice as long. I felt embarrassed for no reason and lowered my gaze. I picked up the teacup and took a sip. The flower water tingled on my tongue. Drinking something sweet and fragrant made me feel a little better.
“What was the… content of the letter?”
“Ordinary.”
“What do you mean by ordinary…?”
“What they’re doing now, how things are going around them… How hard they’re working. They wrote about those things.”
“Is the only part you’re concerned about the closing greeting…?”
“…It’s not just that.”
I saw Douglas bring his hands together as if praying, covering his lips. It was the first time I had seen this man so troubled. It seemed that others also thought it was a troubling matter, so I let go of some of my anxious feelings.
Before I knew it, I had finished all the tea and swallowed the lingering sugar.
Douglas asked me.
“Young Master… What kind of relationship do you want to have with that friend?”
“…I don’t know. I just hope there won’t be anything embarrassing.”
“What you’re most concerned about right now is how to return the closing greeting, right?”
“Yes. Oh, and whether it’s okay to start with… ‘Dear.'”
“Have you exchanged letters before?”
“Yes.”
“How did you write it then?”
“I wrote the other person’s… title. But after that, we started calling each other by nicknames…”
“…I see… Then, for now… When you start, write their name.”
“Wouldn’t that be impolite?”
“You’re friends… Wouldn’t it be okay?”
“Ah. What about the closing greeting?”
Douglas wiped his face again with his thick, large hands. I waited quietly.
“…How about writing it the same way?”
“The same way?”
“Yours, Mika.”
“…Hmm.”
“Write it like that, and if that friend brings it up later… If it seems like they’re teasing you, make an excuse that you wrote it to tease them back, and if they like it… Leave it as it is…”
“Ah.”
Is that so? Can I do that? I felt like a bright light had suddenly appeared before my eyes.
I sat quietly, blinking my eyes and pondering. It would be a little embarrassing, but it seemed like it would be okay to just say that it was all up to them. Douglas, who had been carefully watching my expression, added.
“And the content, no matter what the format is.”
“Yes.”
“Write it honestly. Just like a conversation. There’s no need to embellish it.”
“Hmm… Yes. I’ll try it. Thank you.”
“Okay…”
Douglas Mustang saw me off and promised that he would gladly accept such consultations from time to time. I felt very grateful and left, bowing deeply.
Everyone I met in this new land was kind and trustworthy, so there was nothing to be uncomfortable about.