By Zephyria 
Watching Yoon Jun-young diligently eat the gopchang without saying much, Seo Chi-young wondered if Kwon Kang-hee hadn’t mentioned seeing him recently. If so, did Jun-young not know that he worked at Kang-hee’s establishment? While Chi-young was lost in these thoughts, Jun-young—having finally filled his stomach—took a sip of water and suddenly brought something up, making Chi-young jump in surprise.
“Huh? I—… What? I got… no, that’s not it! I mean, it’s not a complete lie, but to say I ‘got played,’ that’s a bit much…”
Chi-young’s eyes widened and he shook his head vigorously. However, fearing that he might make the person who told him—though he had a strong suspicion who it was—out to be a blatant liar, he added that it wasn’t an entirely baseless story.
Yoon Jun-young, perhaps not expecting such a startled reaction, blinked and murmured, “Ah, I see.”
An awkward silence followed for a moment. The gopchang continued to sizzle as it cooked, and Chi-young silently stirred the meat.
If even Yoon Jun-young knows, then the other people at that place must know for sure. No wonder the girls getting into their cars looked at him with such strange, beaming smiles when he went there last night.
“You should have told me you were working at that place. I live nearby, so I could have dropped by to see you once in a while.”
Jun-young’s voice, as he spoke again, remained nonchalant. At the casual tone, Chi-young stole a glance at him and shyly lowered his head.
“…….I didn’t know. I didn’t know that was the place where Mr. Kwon Kang-hee works… I only saw it for the first time the day before yesterday…”
“Ah, right. I heard that area rarely has any issues, so people don’t really have a reason to visit. I guess even my visit the other day was just a rare occurrence.”
Kwon Kang-hee must have been the one to tell him. Chi-young found it unexpected, as he didn’t think Kang-hee was the type to share such things. Or perhaps he shared surprisingly trivial details? Chi-young scratched the back of his neck and mumbled something just to break the awkward silence.
“S-since you even know Sun-mi’s name, do you go to that place often, Jun-young?”
“Me? No way. I tend to remember people’s names well, so I know a few, but even though I live within walking distance, I hardly ever go. I’ve only gone once or twice to pick up Kang-hee. Kang-hee doesn’t like it when I go there, and I’m not particularly interested in those kinds of places myself.”
Yoon Jun-young shrugged and gave a slightly bitter smile.
“Funny, right? Kang-hee hates bars even though he makes his money from them. He hates fighting, yet he makes money with his fists. He says the best thing is to make money doing what you love… though then there’s someone like Ui-geon, who got beaten by his father after saying his dream was to be a jobless loafer living off others.”
Chi-young smiled softly at Jun-young’s indifferent remark. It reminded him of Jang Ui-geon, who would occasionally grumble, saying things like, “This is such a pain,” or “I wish I could just play and eat.” Yet, even on days when he was busy all day, he always visited with a cheerful face.
Come to think of it, Ui-geon’s visits had become infrequent lately. He recalled Ui-geon mentioning that construction had finished earlier than expected and he was busy preparing for the shop’s opening. Even when he was incredibly busy, he used to visit almost every day, but he had been scarce recently. On the few days he did visit, he would laugh and talk cheerfully as usual before leaving.
“………”
Chi-young gave a lonely, bitter smile. Thinking about it, it wouldn’t be strange if he stopped coming altogether. It wasn’t as if they had promised to meet every day, nor was there any particular reason for it. With a lingering sense of regret, Chi-young fiddled with the phone in his pocket, wondering if he should try calling, but then worried if calling without a reason would be strange.
Meanwhile, Yoon Jun-young was also fiddling with his phone several times. Even while eating the gopchang, messages seemed to be arriving incessantly; he checked his phone repeatedly before finally turning the power off in annoyance. Grumbling that he couldn’t even eat his gopchang in peace, Jun-young glared at the meat with a fierce expression.
“A few days ago, and the time before that—whenever I say I want to go eat gopchang, Kang-hee scowls and asks why I’m going there again. When I think about it, he was the one who first told me this place was delicious, so I don’t know why he makes such a face when I want to go. He has no idea how much I hold myself back from wanting to eat this every single day.”
As Jun-young continued to complain, half to himself, he suddenly stopped and stared intently at Chi-young. Flustered by the direct gaze, Chi-young looked back awkwardly, saying, “Uh, yes?” and then Jun-young slowly spoke.
“Now that I think about it.”
“…….Yes?”
“That place has a kitchen. It’s close to where I live, and it’s the place you go to every day, Chi-young.”
“…..Uh…”
“They should be able to grill gopchang there too.”
“…….”
“That sounds delicious…”
Even though he was currently eating gopchang, Yoon Jun-young was longing for a non-existent future gopchang. Although he didn’t say it explicitly to Chi-young, the pitiful and fervent look in his eyes was so blatant that Chi-young struggled for a while before finally giving in and speaking hesitantly.
“Uh… should I occasionally bring ingredients and stir-fry some for you..? But I’m not sure if I can borrow the kitchen…”
“I’m sure you can. I’ll ask.”
Jun-young’s face brightened instantly. He beamed with a smile so wide it looked as if he were glowing, and Chi-young couldn’t bring himself to take back his previous statement. He worried whether it was okay to cook gopchang in someone else’s shop, but Jun-young’s mood was far too buoyant to mention it.
“…….”
It’ll be fine. If they say no, then no; if they say yes, then there’s no problem. Chi-young sighed and decided to just go with the flow.
While this was happening, Yoon Jun-young, who had already devoured nearly all of those multiple servings for two, stared at the grill with a moment of hesitation before saying to Seo Chi-young, “Could I have half a plate more?”
“Just give him a whole plate. I’ll eat too.”
Jang Ui-geon, who had appeared at some point, spoke readily as he pulled out the chair next to Yoon Jun-young and sat down, greeting Seo Chi-young with a smile. “Oh,” Seo Chi-young replied, giving a small nod in return.
It had been a while. Or rather, since it had only been a few days, it wasn’t long enough to truly say it had been a while, but after seeing him almost every day for a period, seeing him again after a few days made it feel that way.
“What brings you here?”
“What brings you here? You’re the one who hasn’t stopped by in ages.”
Yoon Jun-young had likely seen Jang Ui-geon for even longer than Seo Chi-young had, yet he gave him a casual glance before returning his gaze to the plate of gopchang. Jang Ui-geon smiled and told Seo Chi-young, “One beer, please.” Perhaps because he no longer had to drive here after moving nearby, he almost always drank beer whenever he visited.
“Looks like you’ve already had a few before coming?”
When Yoon Jun-young asked curiously, Jang Ui-geon gave a smile that carried a faint scent of alcohol.
“Yeah, I was at a gathering with my father’s friends. They kept offering me drinks, and I couldn’t exactly refuse, so I had some.”
“And yet you’re drinking beer again?”
“I feel a bit tipsy, but this much is fine. Besides, is beer even considered ‘alcohol’?”
Jang Ui-geon smiled and said, “Thank you,” as he took the beer Seo Chi-young handed him. Seo Chi-young acknowledged him with a look and tentatively struck up a conversation with the man he had finally reached a point of being able to greet with relative composure.
“Is the shop preparation going well?”
“Yeah, more or less. Ah—I spent today until this hour entertaining elderly people with drinks. I’m seriously dying from being busy twenty-four seven. I wish I could just play and eat for a living.”
At Jang Ui-geon’s words, spoken as he drained his beer glass and shook his head with a theatrical sigh, Seo Chi-young couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. Beside them, Yoon Jun-young muttered, “You idle, jobless bum.” Jang Ui-geon looked back and forth between the two—one laughing unexpectedly and the other hurling insults—with a bewildered expression, then frowned.
“What’s with you two? Do you have any idea how diligently I’ve been working lately?”
“Really? I heard you’ve been living quite dissolutely recently.”
“What? Who’s talking such nonsense?”
“I heard you’ve been hitting the clubs again. It even reached my ears.”
At Yoon Jun-young’s nonchalant comment, Jang Ui-geon fell silent. Simultaneously, Seo Chi-young, who was stir-frying the gopchang, unconsciously paused his hand.
…Ah, I see.
Suddenly, Seo Chi-young recalled a place he had once followed him to—or more accurately, a place Jang Ui-geon had guided him to. He had said it was a place he visited often. He likely met people there—friends of the same kind, or perhaps people to form deeper relationships with. Maybe he still did.
Seo Chi-young hadn’t known. He had never heard such things. Jang Ui-geon had never mentioned those kinds of stories to him. But thinking about it, even if he hadn’t heard, it wasn’t something to find strange or feel hurt about. Wasn’t that a strictly private matter? Even if, right now, a small, dark shadow cast itself over a corner of Seo Chi-young’s heart.
“Here you go.” As Seo Chi-young placed the gopchang in front of them, his eyes suddenly met Jang Ui-geon’s. Jang Ui-geon, who had been maintaining an ambiguous silence while merely sipping his drink, seemed to frown slightly. Soon, Jang Ui-geon averted his gaze from Seo Chi-young and muttered to Yoon Jun-young, “No,” his low voice tinged with bitterness as he tilted his glass.
“It’s just that things have been piling up lately. …I don’t go that often. I barely went for a few years, and I’ve only gone two or three times recently. I just felt like things were piling up.”
“For someone who says that, I heard you don’t even make any partners. You used to at least date people for a month back then. —You don’t know how scary rumors are, do you? Want me to tell you what other rumors I’ve heard?”
“What?”
Seeing Yoon Jun-young mutter with a subtle nuance while staring into space, Jang Ui-geon’s expression momentarily turned ominous. He even stopped tilting his glass. After a brief pause, Yoon Jun-young dropped the bomb.
“I heard you can’t get it up.”
“—! No! Who said that!”
“Well, if it reached my ears, the rumor must have spread quite a bit.”
“Hey, no, —!”
Eyes wide in disbelief, Jang Ui-geon turned completely toward Yoon Jun-young, and in doing so, his eyes met Seo Chi-young’s again.
“…….”
“…….”
It seemed he had heard something rather embarrassing. Perhaps it was a story that could be a fatal blow to a man’s pride.
Unable to hide his awkward expression, Seo Chi-young quickly stood up. “I’ll just be in the restroom for a moment,” he said, attempting to leave the situation somewhat unnaturally. Seeing this, Jang Ui-geon jumped up, looking flustered.
“No, it’s not like that at all—! Hey, Yoon Jun-young! Why are you making me out to be some kind of freak!”
Jang Ui-geon, having pressed Seo Chi-young back into his seat, shouted with wide eyes, looking aggrieved. Yoon Jun-young, still composed, frowned and replied casually, “What do you mean ‘freak’? Erectile dysfunction is just a medical condition, not ‘weird.’ There are plenty of people like that in the world.”
As if the alcohol he’d consumed was suddenly rushing to his head, Jang Ui-geon’s face turned a mottled red, and he gaped in bewilderment. Unable to watch any longer, Seo Chi-young quietly placed a glass of water in his hand. Jang Ui-geon glanced at Seo Chi-young, let out an annoyed sigh, and slumped back into his seat. As if his energy had vanished all at once, he lowered his voice and upgraded from beer to soju. “Chi-young-ssi, give me a bottle of soju.”
As Seo Chi-young hesitantly went to get the soju, Jang Ui-geon rubbed his furrowed brow and muttered in a low, aching voice.
“It’s not like that. It stands up just fine. Even lately, sometimes it stands up on its own to an embarrassing degree when the situation isn’t right. It’s just… when I actually try to do it, I just don’t feel like it.”
“Getting an erection randomly is also a symptom, and saying you don’t feel like it when you actually try is a textbook excuse for a man with ED…” Yoon Jun-young muttered to himself, earning a fierce glare from Jang Ui-geon. In that moment, it felt like he might actually punch him. However, when Yoon Jun-young stopped joking and spoke seriously—though still calmly—Jang Ui-geon let out a sigh and withdrew his fierce gaze.
“What’s wrong with you? You used to make both men and women cry. Have you suddenly decided to renounce the worldly life?”
“Stop it,” Jang Ui-geon muttered, pouring the soju Seo Chi-young carefully handed him into his beer glass. After taking a few blunt gulps in silence, he let out a low sigh and murmured.
“It’s just that I keep having strange thoughts lately. …My dreams have been quite violent, too.”
“Why?”
Jang Ui-geon gripped his chin as if he were slightly embarrassed. His complexion seemed to flush. Perhaps the alcohol had finally hit him in earnest after his outburst. After stroking his chin as if debating whether to speak, he slowly opened his mouth.
“I dream about… tormenting a child who knows nothing. Not just in dreams, but I keep having… those kinds of useless delusions.”
“…Yeah, that is a sickness and it is weird.”
Yoon Jun-young nodded with a still expressionless face, though he looked at Jang Ui-geon with some curiosity. “I never thought you had pedophilia or sadism,” he muttered, his tone suggesting he found it quite odd. “Hey, surely…” Jang Ui-geon muttered in a tired voice.
Ignoring the gopchang and merely staring at it while gulping down soju, Jang Ui-geon eventually spoke as if to himself.
“I thought I liked them, but I wonder if I actually hated them.”
“Hmm?”
“They’re a good person. So I should wish for them to always be happy and joyful, but sometimes I just can’t.”
“Who?”
Jang Ui-geon didn’t speak for a while. Seo Chi-young, who was busy moving back and forth in the shop as customers called, looked at him worriedly as he silently tilted the beer glass filled with soju. Normally, their eyes would have met two or three times by now, but Jang Ui-geon didn’t look at Seo Chi-young, whether he was deep in thought or for some other reason.
After emptying the glass, Jang Ui-geon turned to Yoon Jun-young. As if trying to change the subject, he gave a small smirk and said,
“Kang-hee told me.”
Yoon Jun-young stopped his chopsticks. He looked at Jang Ui-geon with a strange expression. With a face flushed from alcohol, Jang Ui-geon continued with a slow smile.
“Kang-hee said that he wants to do everything you wish for, but sometimes he just can’t.”
After a moment of silence, Yoon Jun-young muttered sullenly, “He can’t even let me come eat gopchang properly, what does he mean by doing everything I wish for?”
“…That’s because it’s easy to run into me if you come here.”
“What?” When Yoon Jun-young asked back as if he hadn’t heard correctly, Jang Ui-geon simply shrugged and smiled. Then, resting his chin languidly on Yoon Jun-young’s shoulder, he added in a voice that was beginning to slacken from the alcohol.
“I’m telling you, just come to me. If it were me, I’d grant everything you wish for, even if it makes my heart ache a bit. How about it, even now?”
“Move, you drunk.”
When Yoon Jun-young shoved his shoulder away from under Jang Ui-geon’s chin, Jang Ui-geon’s head dropped for a moment, and in that motion, he wrapped his arms around Yoon Jun-young’s waist. “I’ve barely drunk anything, how am I a drunk?” Jang Ui-geon muttered with a sigh mixed with the scent of alcohol.
“Jun-young-ah, I’m having a hard time lately. My head is a mess for this and that. I don’t know what it is… but anyway, it’s just strange. …If only you had come to me, there would have been no room for my head to be this messy. …Why don’t you just come back to me?”
“Hey, stop rambling because you’re half-drunk and just drink more and go to sleep. Chi-young-ssi, give me another bottle of soju. Give me some cider too. I’ll just mix it and force-feed him.”
As Yoon Jun-young spoke with a light wave of his hand, Seo Chi-young, who was returning from delivering a plate to an inner table, looked troubled. “Oh, but it might be dangerous to drink it like that.” Looking down worriedly at Jang Ui-geon, who was practically clinging to the nonchalant Yoon Jun-young, Seo Chi-young suddenly locked eyes with him.
Despite the alcohol, Jang Ui-geon’s eyes were clear enough that he wasn’t yet a total drunk. The moment he met the eyes of Seo Chi-young, who was looking down at him with concern and a hint of bitterness, a flash of dismay crossed Jang Ui-geon’s face for a brief instant.
“Oh…” As Jang Ui-geon straightened up, Yoon Jun-young held out a glass. However, without taking the glass, Jang Ui-geon simply stared at Seo Chi-young. Seo Chi-young stood frozen like a frog before a snake, blinking as he gauged Jang Ui-geon’s reaction.
Then, it seemed his alcohol-tinged eyes curved slightly.
“Chi-young-ssi?”
“…, Yes?”
“Do you masturbate, Chi-young-ssi?”
“…….., ….Excuse me?”
At the sudden question, Seo Chi-young froze, blinking. For a moment, he doubted his own ears. He had never dreamed that at his age he would be asked such a question by another person, let alone that the person would be Jang Ui-geon.
Beside him, even Yoon Jun-young, who rarely showed emotion, looked at him as if wondering if the man had gone mad. Jang Ui-geon stared intently at Seo Chi-young and asked again.
“You look like the type who would never do such a thing, but you can’t be completely without desire. Do you also do that while thinking of someone you like, Chi-young-ssi?”
His smiling eyes looked even more intoxicated. Seo Chi-young rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, muttering in a voice that seemed to crawl away, “Oh, well…” His head lowered further and further, as if it might touch the ground.
This feels like foul play, the thought flashed through his mind, but he couldn’t open his mouth. Jang Ui-geon knew that Seo Chi-young liked him. Therefore, asking such a thing was foul play.
“…….I, ……..I, …….don’t.”
Seo Chi-young muttered with his head bowed low.
It wasn’t a lie. But it wasn’t the whole truth either.
He had never dared to let such thoughts enter his mind of his own will. However, in his dreams, within desires that moved independently of his will, he had thought of him. So it was half a lie, and half the truth.
In front of Seo Chi-young, who was so flustered that the back of his neck had turned red, Jang Ui-geon simply stared at him in silence. “You don’t?” Jang Ui-geon’s voice was low, asking as if to himself.
Perhaps because he had a guilty conscience, Seo Chi-young felt as if his insides were being seen through, and he shook his head vigorously.
“I, I don’t. Absolutely, I don’t… I don’t have those kinds of thoughts.”
“….. Hmm..”
Jang Ui-geon only muttered briefly. Without saying this or that, without showing any particular reaction, he simply tilted his glass in silence.
A subtle silence flowed. The sounds of people talking could be heard from other tables, but the air surrounding the two of them was heavy and awkward.
It was Yoon Jun-young who broke that uncomfortable atmosphere. “What is wrong with this guy?” Yoon Jun-young said, pouring soju into Jang Ui-geon’s mouth, and then told Seo Chi-young in a somewhat annoyed tone, “Chi-young-ssi, hurry up and give me the soju and cider mix. I hate people who ramble because they’re half-drunk the most.” Only then did Seo Chi-young find an excuse to escape the oppressive air and hurried away toward the refrigerator.
It was not easy to drag a person who was completely drunk and limp. It was even more so when that person was much larger than himself.
By the time Seo Chi-young had staggered along, supporting Jang Ui-geon and barely managing to move him to his own house—nearly collapsing on the street several times—his entire body was drenched in sweat.
Originally, he had planned to support him together with Yoon Jun-young’s help. After being showered with cider and soju, Jang Ui-geon had collapsed shortly after, and they had agreed to support him together to lay him down at Seo Chi-young’s nearby house before heading to Kwon Kang-hee’s shop.
However, around midnight, as they were beginning to prepare to close, Kwon Kang-hee appeared with a bleak expression.
‘Why was your phone off?’
Kwon Kang-hee, who said only that bluntly, dragged Yoon Jun-young away regardless of his answer. “Hey, wait, let’s drop Ui-geon off and go with Chi-young-ssi, it’s the same way anyway,” Yoon Jun-young protested, but Kwon Kang-hee looked down coldly at Jang Ui-geon, who was asleep and clumsily clinging to Yoon Jun-young’s waist. With a fierce hand, Kwon Kang-hee pried Jang Ui-geon off and dragged Yoon Jun-young away, leaving only one word: ‘No.’
“Oh, hey, Kwon Kang-hee! Chi-young-ssi!” Seo Chi-young had no way to stop Yoon Jun-young, who was being dragged away while calling out names. Having watched helplessly and given a greeting that wouldn’t even be heard—”Please get home safely”—Seo Chi-young sighed as he looked around the quiet shop and at Jang Ui-geon collapsed in front of it.
And then, just as he had predicted, he managed to drag Jang Ui-geon home, his body soaked in sweat. Jang Ui-geon was either terribly drunk or deeply asleep; he didn’t wake up even though Seo Chi-young stumbled numerous times.
Looking down at Jang Ui-geon, who was sprawled out in a large ‘X’ shape, taking up the entire narrow floor, Seo Chi-young sat down exhausted beside him and fanned himself with his clothes. He checked the clock; it was a little before 1 AM. He had a bit of time before he had to go to the establishment.
Only then did Seo Chi-young regain his composure, letting out a quiet sigh as he looked at Jang Ui-geon anew.
Jun-young-ah, why didn’t you just come to me? The whisper, repeated several times and mixed with the scent of alcohol, revived in his ears. That voice, thin as a thread, had entered Seo Chi-young’s ears clearly, instead of Yoon Jun-young’s, who had turned away indifferently, saying he had no ear for a drunkard’s words.
“…….”
Slowly, the tightness in his chest subsided. At the same time, Seo Chi-young realized that he had been incredibly excited without even knowing it. While saying he didn’t expect anything, perhaps he had been expecting something at some point. While facing that kind face that visited almost every day, sharing happy and joyful conversations.
“Chi-young-ah… Chi-young-ah. Don’t do that…”