By Zephyria 
Haon slowly opened his eyes at In-ho’s tender question asking if he was alright. As his strained eyelids gradually parted, In-ho, looking down at him, came into view.
In-ho reached out his long arm to turn on the indirect lighting on the nightstand and looked closely at Haon again. Until then, because the room lights were off, he had been relying on the light filtering through the window.
Thanks to the dim surroundings brightening, their faces were much more visible to one another.
In-ho studied Haon’s expression and brushed the corner of his eye. For a moment, seeing Haon’s grimace, he thought he was crying. Fortunately, no tears had formed, but his face looked as if he were on the verge of sobbing.
“Is something wrong? Were you in pain?”
He poured out questions while examining the helplessly lying Haon. Deep worry now clouded a face that had been filled only with arousal.
“…….”
Haon didn’t answer immediately, instead glancing furtively between In-ho’s face and his lap.
Separate from the way he was genuinely worried for him, In-ho was still aroused. He looked as if he were struggling to endure the heaviness below. Haon could instinctively feel that he wanted to enter him right now.
“I-I’m okay….”
Haon was happy that In-ho was aroused. He felt a sense of relief that In-ho responded to his pathetic body, which couldn’t even emit pheromones.
“I’m just… nervous.”
He mumbled in a faint voice, wearing an embarrassed expression. While it was nice that In-ho’s face was clearly visible thanks to the indirect lighting, he felt ashamed that his naked body was exposed. He didn’t want In-ho to see his body, which was merely thin without any muscle.
He leaned his body slightly away from the nightstand where the light was and reached out toward In-ho. He wanted him to continue.
Haon wanted to be held by In-ho. Even if his sex was rough, it was fine. Even if the erect member was so large that his hole tore, he felt confident he could smile through it. Because he liked him.
“Please… keep go, going….”
Because sex is an act of love.
He summoned his courage to wrap his arms around In-ho’s neck, but he was rejected. In-ho did not embrace him.
Avoiding Haon’s arms, In-ho pulled his upper body back and simply pulled up the blanket to cover Haon’s exposed lower body.
“You say you’re okay, so why are you shaking?”
“…What?”
Haon tilted his head and blinked. Shaking? Who was?
“Your hands are shaking, Haon-ssi. Your legs, too.”
In-ho gently grabbed the wrist of the confused Haon and showed him directly. Only then did Haon realize his hands were trembling. His thighs, hidden beneath the blanket, were also shaking minutely.
He looked exactly like someone terrified. But I’m not scared at all.
Haon narrowed his brows with a frustrated expression and shook his head. He wanted to say he was really okay, but his heated throat blocked the words.
In-ho opened his mouth for a moment, then closed it again and pulled the blanket up to Haon’s chin. Then, he sat back, leaving a hand’s breadth of distance between them. It seemed as if he no longer intended to do it.
“I-In-ho-ssi.”
Squeezing out his voice, Haon suddenly grabbed In-ho’s wrist. His hand was still shaking.
“You can… just put it in….”
He was afraid In-ho might leave just like this. He felt as if In-ho might leave the bed and go find another Omega.
“I’m really okay, so please do it.”
Haon pushed the blanket aside and lifted his upper body to follow In-ho. He approached him on his knees, pulled the wrist he was gripping, and pushed it between his own legs.
“I’ll do well.”
He mumbled, not even realizing what he was saying. He spread his legs and positioned himself sitting on In-ho’s thighs. He burrowed into In-ho’s embrace and even sucked on his firmly closed lips, despite not being able to breathe properly.
In-ho silently watched Haon’s actions. He saw clearly how Haon had been embraced by Alphas while fully conscious.
Unaware that his own member had shriveled, Haon let out moans, pretending to be aroused. He pressed his lower half against In-ho’s stomach, intentionally making louder sounds. To In-ho’s ears, those awkward moans sounded like crying.
“You… can do it….”
When In-ho didn’t move, Haon eventually tried to grab In-ho’s member and insert it into himself. Seeing him try to push the glans into an unlubricated hole with trembling hands made In-ho’s Adam’s apple bob.
“Stop.”
In-ho finally spoke, grabbing Haon’s shoulders and pushing him away. Stiffening at the voice laced with anger, Haon hurriedly withdrew his hand.
Before Haon could get any more frightened, In-ho tightly clasped his hand. He spread Haon’s trembling fingers, filling the gaps between them, and rested his forehead against Haon’s shoulder.
“When you act like this, it makes me so upset.”
A shallow sigh fell upon Haon’s chest. Haon froze, blinking, unable to say a word. In-ho’s forehead against his shoulder was hot. Or perhaps it was his own body running a fever.
“I’m not angry.”
In-ho added more words, fearing Haon might grow anxious during the prolonged silence and try to read his mood.
“Let’s just stay like this for a moment.”
He needed time to calm down. If he continued the conversation with Haon now, he surely wouldn’t be able to hide his angry expression. The thing he hated most was Haon being scared because of him.
“You don’t have to force yourself.”
“…….”
“When you’re with me—no, regardless of who you’re with.”
In-ho slowly lifted his head and met Haon’s eyes. The overly compliant Haon remained motionless, maintaining his position according to In-ho’s words, his eyes heavily reddened.
“If you don’t want to do it, don’t.”
“Please,” In-ho added, gripping Haon’s hand even tighter. The more he saw Haon trying to cater to him no matter how comfortably he treated him, the more his heart burned with distress.
“In-ho-ssi….”
Then, Haon, who was gripping In-ho’s hand tightly, made a sound. He tried to continue speaking, but bit his lower lip and caught his breath several times.
“It’s… not that I don’t like it….”
His voice, leaking out with difficulty, wavered. He tightened his grip on the joined hands as if hoping In-ho would listen.
“I-I like it… but I’m scared.”
Haon tried his best to convey his feelings until the end.
“I really like In-ho-ssi, I w-want to do it.”
“…….”
“But.”
Because his lips were trembling, his pronunciation was severely slurred. However, In-ho nodded to show he understood everything.
“I… I hope we don’t… do it….”
He wanted to do it with him, but he hoped they wouldn’t. He put these ambivalent emotions, which even he didn’t understand, into words and conveyed them to In-ho.
“I’m scared to do it.”
He would have had no excuse even if In-ho had gotten angry and asked what on earth he was talking about.
“Then we just won’t do it.”
However, In-ho did not get angry.
“It’s just sex.”
In-ho rubbed the back of Haon’s hand, where the fine hairs stood up, with his thumb and wore a gentle smile.
At that tender gaze, a sob burst through Haon’s trembling lips.
Haon cried out loud, repeating what he had said. That he wanted to do it with In-ho, but he was scared to do it. He poured out tears while conveying his feelings to In-ho once more.
In-ho hugged the sobbing Haon tightly and stroked his shaking back. Even though he already understood, he listened intently to every word Haon repeated.
“Sleep here today.”
After Haon had cried his heart out and was sniffing, In-ho kissed his cheek and spoke.
“Just holding hands.”
He smiled, waving the hand he hadn’t let go of for a single moment. With thick teardrops clinging to the corners of his eyes, Haon nodded, saying he liked that.
And so, the two of them settled in the center of the wide bed and lay down straight. Leaning on In-ho’s arm instead of a pillow, Haon lay on his side and pressed his face deeply into In-ho’s chest.
Then, as if he hadn’t cried enough, he shed a few more tears in that position. He eventually fell asleep, exhausted from crying.
A few hours later, Haon woke up and rubbed his heavy eyelids before suddenly lifting his head. The indirect lighting was still on, so In-ho’s face was clearly visible.
“Want some water?”
In-ho, whose eyes met Haon’s, asked. He had been silently watching the sleeping Haon for several hours.
“You didn’t sleep…?”
“I woke up from my sleep.”
At Haon’s cracked voice, In-ho, wearing a gentle smile, tried to go get water. However, Haon shook his head and gripped In-ho’s collar.
Instead, he wriggled his body closer to In-ho and lightly tapped his lips together. He gave a very clumsy kiss, just as he had the first time they kissed.
“In-ho-ssi.”
The small, whispering voice filled the silence of the deep dawn.
“I really didn’t hate it.”
“…….”
“Really.”
Haon kissed In-ho’s unresponsive lips again and whispered, “I mean it….” His lips drooped when the only response was a hand patting his back, but sleep soon washed over him.
“I’ll understand you better from now on.”
In-ho only spoke after Haon had fallen asleep. His hushed voice mingled with the sound of rhythmic breathing.
Even after dawn broke, he continued to pat Haon’s thin back.