By Zephyria 
[Anyway, huge congratulations. Even my acquaintance, Hyung, and I are getting congratulatory messages.]
“Are they congratulating me because a Korean work won?”
[I guess so.]
“Ah…”
[So, as an investor, how do you feel?]
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t there. It hasn’t quite sunk in yet.”
As he flicked the ash from his cigarette into the ashtray, Lee Hae-sung gazed out at the distant sea. In contrast to the beach, where music and brilliant lights danced through the air as people enjoyed the final day of the festival, the silent darkness at the edge of the ocean stood out even more.
[It was a rare opportunity; you should have attended. Even watching it on broadcast, I was getting excited.]
The closing ceremony, where the awards were presented, was broadcast live across France. Other various media outlets from around the world competed for coverage starting from the red carpet.
Fearing that the attention meant for the director and actors might be diverted, Lee Hae-sung had decided not to attend. Instead, he watched the broadcast from his room, not missing a single scene from the moment the actors and director appeared on the red carpet until the moment of the award.
And while his eyes followed Choi Hong-seo on the screen, he had to face the dark turbulence remaining within himself.
It was a dark heart—one that could not fully rejoice in the world’s attention toward Choi Hong-seo or the glorious moment he became the actor of a Palme d’Or-winning work.
Choi Hong-seo had his own room, but since the day Lee Hae-sung arrived and joined him, he had stayed in this suite almost exclusively, taking care not to attract others’ attention.
During their free time after completing their schedules, they would spend time alone here, but every now and then, Choi Hong-seo would glance at his watch. After two or three hours, he would start fidgeting.
‘I should head back to my room now.’
‘Already? Why?’
‘I’ve been away from my room for too long. Other actors might stop by…’
‘Then they’d contact you via phone first.’
‘Jo Won-tae Seonbae asked me where I went yesterday.’
‘Why did he?’
‘He said he knocked several times yesterday to ask if I wanted to grab a drink at the bar, but I didn’t answer.’
‘So what did you say?’
‘He asked so suddenly that I was flustered… I made an excuse that he probably came by while I was briefly asleep. It was probably obvious I was lying.’
‘Did he press you about it?’
‘Not really, but…’
However, Lee Hae-sung knew exactly how to resolve this situation.
Grabbing the fingertips of Choi Hong-seo, who was already halfway off the sofa, and rubbing over his nails, Lee Hae-sung dropped his gaze diagonally.
‘Hmm, I thought you were going to sleep here.’
If he just trailed off his words with a slightly lonely expression, the situation was always easily resolved. He considered himself cunning, but fortunately, he was not at an age, position, or personality to feel guilty over this level of cunning.
This suite was also where Choi Hong-seo had eaten and prepared his outfit a few hours prior to attend the closing ceremony.
‘Why don’t you eat a bit more? You won’t be able to eat anything all evening.’
Facing Choi Hong-seo, who could barely touch the fresh seasonal dishes prepared via room service, Lee Hae-sung also found it difficult to swallow his food.
‘I’m too nervous to eat. I feel like I’ll get indigestion if I do.’
Choi Hong-seo, who kept gulping down sparkling water, looked pale.
‘I suppose forcing yourself to eat isn’t good either.’
Though he desperately wanted to feed him more, he knew it was greed. Just as Lee Hae-sung was about to finish his meal and set down the napkin he used to wipe his mouth, Choi Hong-seo suddenly covered his mouth and rushed to the bathroom. Reflexively, Lee Hae-sung immediately followed him.
As he rubbed the back of Choi Hong-seo, who was vomiting up the few spoonfuls of food he had managed to eat, Lee Hae-sung couldn’t help but recall a bitter memory.
‘Yoon Hye-an,’ who had been found collapsed and drenched in sweat after vomiting alone in the rooftop bathroom of his home in Seocho-dong.
No, by that time, ‘Yoon Hye-an’ was no longer ‘Yoon Hye-an’ to Lee Hae-sung. He was a strange and mysterious boy who knew an impossibly detailed amount about the relationship between himself and Choi Hong-seo.
He had thought of him as ‘Yoon Hye-an,’ someone who approached him to gain profit by using Choi Hong-seo. If he had continued to think that way, there would have been no reason to be so agitated the moment he saw the boy collapsed.
Moreover, even now, whenever Choi Hong-seo was even slightly ill, Lee Hae-sung became extremely anxious. To the point where he wished the boy would skip the closing ceremony using health issues as an excuse.
But he could not reveal such anxiety and ugly possessiveness in front of Choi Hong-seo.
‘You did great at the screening too. You were as skilled as someone who has done those events many times. It’ll be the same this time. Hong-seo is the type who is strong in actual practice. Right?’
Instead of telling him not to go and stay by his side, he could only soothe him and encourage him while brushing back his sweat-dampened hair.
Choi Hong-seo, who had been panting while slumped on the bathroom floor, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. His exhausted eyes looked at Lee Hae-sung before he collapsed into his arms. Lee Hae-sung quietly rubbed the back of his lover, who was leaning and rubbing his forehead against his shoulder.
Choi Hong-seo held onto Lee Hae-sung’s side tightly. The clinging touch was so pitiful that Lee Hae-sung stroked the back of his head and kissed his hair. Since he was fundamentally a strong boy who handled everything well on his own, it was extremely rare for him to become this weak and lean on someone first.
Because of that, while his heart felt painfully sorry for him, he also felt his possessiveness being satisfied by the sight of the boy relying on him. That, too, was a dark heart that could not be openly expressed.
Burying his nose and lips in the crook of Lee Hae-sung’s neck and calming his breathing for a moment, Choi Hong-seo sighed and spoke.
‘Ahjussi, I think I need to take some Cheongsimwon.’
By now, the title of Hyung had become quite natural and no longer awkward, but when he was urgent or feeling vulnerable, ‘Ahjussi’ still came first. Normally, Lee Hae-sung would have teased him, saying he deserved a penalty, but he didn’t feel like doing that to the exhausted boy.
After giving him the Cheongsimwon he had brought from Seoul, Lee Hae-sung stayed by Choi Hong-seo’s side even while he got his hair and makeup done and changed clothes. Whenever he felt Choi Hong-seo’s gaze searching for him through the mirror, he smiled to reassure him. However, inside, he was struggling with the impulse to tell him not to attend.
‘Is this the same person who was vomiting from nerves just a little while ago?’
To Choi Hong-seo, who stood before him fully groomed, Lee Hae-sung gave an intentionally exaggerated compliment.
‘You look so radiant, like someone who just woke up after seven hours of deep sleep.’
‘It’s because the General managers are so skilled.’
‘It’s because you don’t neglect your usual maintenance.’
‘But, can I wear Rampas today?’
The ‘Rampas’ Choi Hong-seo mentioned was the perfume that Lee Hae-sung used as a custom order and had given to Choi Hong-seo as a gift. Choi Hong-seo had given the name ‘Rampas’ to the only perfume in the world that existed for just two people.
‘Because then I’ll feel like I’m with Hyung, and I think I’ll be less nervous.’
‘Why wouldn’t you be able to?’
Lee Hae-sung applied the perfume for Choi Hong-seo himself.
Not on the inside of the wrist, but the outside, tapping lightly without rubbing.
Exactly the method the past Lee Hae-sung had taught the past Choi Hong-seo.
At some point, this procedure had become a small ritual between the two. It also replaced Choi Hong-seo’s old habit of counting by folding his fingers. When Lee Hae-sung applied the perfume like this and they were surrounded by their own shared scent, Choi Hong-seo’s tension usually dissipated.
‘I’ll go and do a good job.’
‘I’m a devoted fan, almost a stalker, so I know Choi Hong-seo very well. You’ll definitely do great.’
‘You’ll be watching on TV, right?’
‘Of course.’
As Choi Hong-seo turned to leave after a short kiss on the lips, Lee Hae-sung hurriedly grabbed his wrist.
‘Choi Hong-seo.’
‘Yeah? Yes?’
‘Don’t be… too cool and pretty. Ahjussi will get anxious.’
‘What is that even supposed to mean? I’ll see you at the party later.’
As Choi Hong-seo laughed it off as a joke, Lee Hae-sung smiled back as if he were joking and waved his hand. What else could he do?
Avoiding all attendants and staff, Lee Hae-sung watched the broadcast alone from the bedroom sofa.
Choi Hong-seo, who arrived at the Lumière Grand Theatre and stood on the closing ceremony red carpet, was radiant. The off-white tuxedo from Brand L was an excellent choice. Paired with a slender ribbon-style cord tie, it highlighted the fresh image that ‘Hyeon-seo’ possessed.
‘Hyeon-seo,’ who posed with a natural and fresh smile toward the world’s press, whose flashes were firing incessantly, was undoubtedly a professional. His ability to remember to smile and provide fan service was fitting for a former leader of an idol group accustomed to a barrage of cameras.
Yet, the slight tension felt in the moments he stuck out his tongue as if overwhelmed, bit his lower lip, or pressed his lips tightly together added a sense of familiarity that increased his appeal.
Fearing that he might trip or fall, Lee Hae-sung had to clasp his hands in front of his mouth and bite his lower lip until the <Cream Mansion> team had completely disappeared from the red carpet.