By Zephyria 
“Haa…”
Staring at the ceiling, I calmly gathered my thoughts.
‘It might be better not to regain memories.’
From the moment I suddenly woke up in the novel world to the final moment I was abruptly brought back, my memories had been continuous. Therefore, I had no knowledge of the situation of suddenly recalling memories.
Upon careful consideration, it might not be entirely a good thing. Although I moved freely according to my will even in the novel, the others were roles that had to move according to their settings, so they might find it uncomfortable and incomprehensible that they acted a certain way in the novel.
Moreover, there must have been painful experiences…
‘It’s a tricky problem.’
I closed my eyes tightly and then opened them.
In fact, even for me, the memories weren’t entirely good. The image of Seong Hae-min covering me in blood was still vivid.
I keenly realized what trauma was. There were times I resented it, wishing I had forgotten everything.
Feeling suddenly suffocated, I let out a long breath.
“Hoo…”
Why did I think that finding them in reality would be the solution?
Even I had a harder time after first meeting Seong Hae-min. I was deeply shocked that Seong Hae-min didn’t recognize me and lived a very messy life for a while. I thought I had gone mad. That was until I met Do Yun-hyeok again.
‘Is Seong Hae-min waiting until after the college entrance exams to meet Lee Beom out of consideration? If not…’
He might think it’s better to remain strangers.
It could be an event where I’m satisfied with confirming that a person named Lee Beom exists in reality and then move on cleanly. Like a supporting male lead who is satisfied after confirming the happiness and well-being of the female protagonist and then turns away.
Is Seong Hae-min hoping for that?
Just then, a KakaoTalk notification popped up cheerfully on my phone screen, which had been black. It was a message from Do Yun-hyeok asking if I was asleep. I wanted to reply, but I didn’t have the strength to move a finger.
As I lay there, the alarm window that had flashed on the black screen slowly faded away as if melting. Drowsiness began to creep in.
‘Ah… I don’t know.’
My drowsy thoughts gradually ceased.
I’ll think about this problem later… or I’ll leave it to Seong Hae-min.
I got up sluggishly, turned off the light in the room, and tried to sleep. But even before I fell asleep, Seong Hae-min’s words echoed in my mind like an echo.
Is that really a good thing for Lee Beom?
❖ ❖ ❖
A few days later, I met Min Si-hu after he returned to Seoul from the residential mentoring program.
Min Si-hu’s face was glowing like a peeled egg, as if he had been well-cared for. Min Si-hu himself said it was because the mentoring program he had prepared for so intensely had ended without any issues.
“Oh, right. I’m meeting Lee Beom.”
“What?”
Min Si-hu let the words slip out. The topic hadn’t surfaced since they hung up the phone that day until Min Si-hu returned to Seoul, but Seong Hae-min stared silently at Min Si-hu, who had abruptly brought up the main point. Receiving the obvious gaze, Min Si-hu waved his hands as if he were someone whose feet were tingling.
“For the record, I didn’t suggest meeting. I didn’t say much to him over there either!”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Weren’t you cursing me with your eyes?”
“No.”
“Really?”
Min Si-hu, now meek again, speared a piece of cake with his fork and began his explanation.
“Anyway, I didn’t propose it. I got contacted by Lee Beom asking if I could give him some college admissions counseling.”
He explained that Lee Beom, a high school senior, would be coming to Seoul soon and wanted to get admissions counseling from Min Si-hu, and also wanted to meet him for other reasons. After finishing his explanation, Min Si-hu tilted his head and asked,
“Want to go together?”
Before I knew it, I found myself glancing at Seong Hae-min.
Seong Hae-min was scratching his brow, his face etched with worry. He sighed, relaxing his body, and mumbled,
“It’s not that I don’t want to meet Lee Beom.”
“Then?”
“……”
Seong Hae-min fell silent at the pure question. Min Si-hu’s eyes widened in confusion, tilting his head.
“What’s up?”
I sat in the middle, pretending not to know, crumpling a tissue and staying quiet.
I was terrible in this kind of atmosphere. I didn’t know what to say, and I didn’t think I’d be helpful by butting in. I just watched the two of them, who had been friends for a long time, from the corner of my eye.
“You want to meet Lee Beom?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re acting like this?”
“It’s just that now doesn’t seem like a good time. Even if we meet after the college entrance exams…”
“Lee Beom wants to meet now?”
“He wanted to see you. We’re strangers.”
“He’s asking for college admissions counseling? I came here for college practicals! I know nothing about liberal arts admissions! I have nothing to say for counseling! Can’t I bring people I need for counseling?”
“……”
It looked like a vein was about to pop on Seong Hae-min’s forehead. He was cursing with his face. It was understandable, seeing Min Si-hu’s constant prodding. Seong Hae-min took a sip of his drink to calm himself.
“Why would Lee Beom ask someone like you, who knows nothing, for counseling?”
“Well.”
Min Si-hu pointed to his own face with his thumb and exclaimed confidently.
“Because I’m a respectable figure!”
“……”
“……”
“Just kidding. I don’t know about that either. Maybe he’s just curious about a celebrity he only saw on TV? A lot of people wanted to get my number because they were curious about that.”
I brushed aside Min Si-hu’s words, which were still full of self-praise even at a time like this.
The reason Min Si-hu suddenly asked for admissions counseling…
‘Could it be?’
I carefully interjected and asked,
“Did he ask to meet because something reminded him of us?”
“Is that so?”
“Like, subconsciously, he felt familiar with you.”
“Hmm… I didn’t really get that vibe.”
Min Si-hu tilted his head as if from a novel.
Seong Hae-min rubbed his chin. His eyes showed that meeting Lee Beom wasn’t going to be smooth. As I, judging that we should refuse this meeting, was about to decline Min Si-hu’s suggestion, Min Si-hu called out to Seong Hae-min.
“So, we shouldn’t go this time…”
“Seong Hae-min.”
“Why.”
Min Si-hu, who had been tapping the table, turned serious and asked,
“Are you scared?”
I looked at Min Si-hu with disbelief.
Is he provoking me with ‘Are you chicken?’ right now?
But Seong Hae-min, who I expected to brush it off casually as usual, didn’t reply. I thought he was just ignoring it, but looking at his face, that wasn’t the case. I expected him to scoff and dismiss it, but his eyes were trembling.
“……”
In this situation, silence was no different from affirmation.
‘Huh?’
My mouth went dry in surprise. Min Si-hu let out a hollow laugh and leaned back in his chair. I always thought their genre was sitcom, but was it actually a suspense drama with a twist? What’s happening all of a sudden?
“Actually…”
Seong Hae-min’s sincere words cut through the air softly.
“He might regret remembering us.”
Although it was a setting from a novel, Seong Hae-min was closer to Lee Beom than anyone. In the novel’s world, Lee Beom joined the delinquents to help his friend Seong Hae-min. In the original work, they even had a friendship that didn’t break even when they liked the same person simultaneously.
However, the character relationships in the novel were just given values as settings.
Just as the real Seong Hae-min was different from the novel’s Seong Hae-min, the real Lee Beom would undoubtedly be different from the novel’s Lee Beom. Since I and Min Si-hu already had connections with Seong Hae-min in reality, we could continue our relationships as they were, but it was uncertain for other characters. We knew nothing about what kind of person the real Lee Beom was.
‘I see…’
Seong Hae-min was afraid of that. That’s why, despite wanting to meet him again until now, he was backing out when the opportunity to meet him was right in front of him.
“Did you regret it?”
“I…”
Seong Hae-min’s gaze, which flickered to me as he spoke, made my eyes widen. Seong Hae-min slowly shook his head.
“No. I didn’t.”
“Then? You don’t trust Lee Beom?”
“Yes.”
“……”
“Reality is different from novels. It’s uncertain.”
Seong Hae-min mumbled as if making an excuse and turned his head. Min Si-hu scratched his head and let out a deep sigh. But since it seemed like a difficult emotion for Seong Hae-min himself, I couldn’t say anything.
Min Si-hu clasped his hands behind his neck and looked at the ceiling with a clueless expression. His eyebrows, raised like a cartoon character begging, drooped at the ends.
“I enjoyed the novel world, so I wanted to play together again as friends. But if that’s how you feel, I can’t help it.”
Min Si-hu wrinkled his nose and fell into thought. The one who had been tapping his foot said,
“Then let’s think of it as a ‘What if’ game.”
“Huh?”
A question mark appeared above my head at the sudden suggestion. Min Si-hu remained steadfast.
“Yes, a ‘What if’ game. What if we met Lee Beom? But he didn’t know anything and asked to meet us, and he doesn’t remember us. What would you do then?”
“I’d have a normal conversation and leave.”
“We’d form a new relationship.”
Seong Hae-min and I answered respectively. Min Si-hu then posed the second question.
“Then, what if Lee Beom remembered something and asked to meet us? What if he remembers meeting us? And what if he really likes and is happy about remembering?”
“It’s not the right time? I’d push him to put it aside and focus on preparing for the college entrance exams.”
Min Si-hu shot me a sharp look at my harsh answer.