By Zephyria 
“…….”
My throat tightened.
—Hae-jun couldn’t eat soy-marinated shrimp…
A fragment of memory suddenly surfaced, blocking my throat like a rolling stone. Beyond the sound of rustling branches, only our overlapping breaths filled the empty street.
As I lost my words, Seong Hae-min slowly touched his forehead. Still, I couldn’t bring myself to answer, and I stared at the tips of my sneakers like a child being punished. Seong Hae-min, covering his face with trembling hands as if in disbelief, his shaky breaths sounded unusually loud.
Suppressing his breath, Seong Hae-min murmured from behind his hands.
“How….”
“…….”
His voice was broken by his ragged breathing.
“How could I… forget you?”
It felt like my breath had been stolen.
I immediately turned to Seong Hae-min. But his face was still buried in his hands, so I couldn’t see his expression. My heart pounded. I clenched my fists, pressing my fingernails into my palms.
“Seong, Hae-min….”
“…….”
My voice was choked. Seong Hae-min didn’t reply. Just as I thought the world had stopped, a bird chirped and flew overhead. Even though the world’s time continued to flow, the time surrounding us seemed to have stopped.
Rooted to the spot, I couldn’t take my eyes off Seong Hae-min. His fingers covering his face were becoming wet. My heart sank.
“Seong Hae-min….”
I called out to Seong Hae-min again.
A moment later, Seong Hae-min slowly lowered his hands. His face, when I saw it again, was a mess of tears. The tip of my nose felt hot.
“Hae, Hae-jun….”
“Seong Hae-min…!”
I pulled Seong Hae-min, who was sobbing like a child, into a tight embrace. He seemed smaller than ever in my arms.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Seong Hae-min’s mournful cries felt like they were tearing my heart to pieces. I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back my tears, but I couldn’t stop the emotions that poured out like a burst dam.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. I don’t mind at all. Everything is fine….”
It truly didn’t matter. My feelings of misery, resentment, disappointment, sorrow, confusion…
All the complex emotions washed away with the tears, leaving behind a pure, diamond-like joy. My cheeks were wet with the fact that Seong Hae-min had remembered us from the novel. That was enough for me.
Like long-lost family reunited after a long separation, we embraced each other and wept with joy.
We became strange people weeping on a university campus bench in broad daylight, busy wiping our noses with swollen eyes. After releasing the pent-up emotions through our sobs, I felt lighter, but also a little embarrassed that we had done this in such a public place. I could feel students and faculty glancing at us.
Seong Hae-min’s eyes were red from crying so much, but his expression looked clear. He asked in a nasal voice, “Will you… be my family from now on? Like friends….”
I replied in a similarly nasal voice, “Of course.”
“That’s a relief….”
Seong Hae-min mumbled to himself.
Sitting on the bench where the spring breeze fluttered, I remembered the days Seong Hae-min and I attended school in the novel. Being forced onto the back of a motorcycle, being called by the unusual title of Four Heavenly Kings and drawing attention…
‘Come to think of it, I studied math to get into medical school….’
The frustrating and stifling situations now seemed like things that would make me chuckle. Sad memories also surfaced. The moment I heard Seong Hae-min had been in a traffic accident felt as vivid as yesterday. But now, it didn’t matter.
Lost in memories that felt so clear, Seong Hae-min suddenly asked, “But do you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“When we first met….”
“First?”
I pondered for a moment. Wasn’t the starting point of our shared “first” ambiguous? I only had memories from when I woke up in the novel. I couldn’t exactly say that the moment I raged, “Who the hell is it? Who bullied you?” was our first meeting…
Seong Hae-min chuckled softly. His voice, still nasal from his blocked nose, sounded strangely muffled.
“You were the one who first said we should be family.”
…Did I ever say that out loud? I frantically sifted through my memories from the novel. Seong Hae-min continued his calm confession.
“Actually, I thought it might have been my mistake. Maybe I saw it wrong… So, it’s just me who remembers, huh?”
“Uh? No, no! I remember.”
“You lived in Somang Apartments when you were little, right?”
“Huh?”
My eyes widened. How did he know that?
Somang Apartments wasn’t an apartment from the novel; it was where I actually lived. It was the apartment I lived in when I was about seven and my younger sister was four?
I still remembered that time when my parents were very busy with work. They were busy, and my sister was too young, so she was left at my grandmother’s house. After kindergarten, I would stay home alone until my parents got off work, bravely guarding the empty house.
“That’s where we first met.”
“What?”
Come to think of it, a long-forgotten memory surfaced. The small kid from next door.
I didn’t know what was going on at home, but whenever I diligently went to my after-school academy alone, that kid was always lingering by the door, unable to go into his own house.
—What are you always doing standing there?
I had only passed by him, but one day, on a whim, I asked the child who was quietly hugging his knees.
—I’m waiting for my mom…
—Why don’t you wait at home?
—Because I’m scared when I’m alone…
—Come over here.
Memories buried deep within me began to surface endlessly. As if I were a spy, I quickly looked around, confirmed no one was there, and then whispered into the child’s ear.
—I don’t have my mom and dad at home either! But I have to protect the house!
—But, I’m scared…
—Then do you want to protect it with me?
The child, much smaller than me, looked up at me with his glossy black eyes.
—But… are you allowed in my house if we’re not family…?
At that, I unhesitatingly raised my fist like a cartoon character making a vow.
—Family? We can be! What’s your name?
At that time, his name was definitely…
—Seong Hae-min…
—Wow. I’m Seong Hae-jun! Our names are reeeeally similar. How old are you?
—Seven…
—What? You’re the same age as me? Then I can’t be your older brother, so…
My head spun from the countless memories flooding back.
—We can be twins!
The hazy memories gradually sharpened, like a Polaroid photo regaining its color. Seong Hae-min, seeing me with my mouth agape like I’d been hit on the head, chuckled softly.
“How… did you forget that? No, how did you recognize me? Before you spoke, I was completely blank…”
“I remembered when I got hit on the head too.”
Seong Hae-min said playfully, chuckling. When he said “got hit on the head,” I realized he was referring to the time he threw himself to protect me from the concrete debris, and I yelled back.
“That’s not something to laugh about!”
“…Seong Hae-min?”
At that moment, someone passing by called out to Seong Hae-min. Standing there, Min Si-hu, with a strange expression, was pointing at us.
❖ ❖ ❖
“Hey! You’ve become famous on Etta! Two guys crying their eyes out on the humanities college street, what the heck is going on? It’s all over the forums!”
“Min Si-hu.”
Min Si-hu, who had dragged us both into the cafe and sat us down in front of him, lowered his voice and mimed shouting. Seong Hae-min calmly called out to Min Si-hu in his stuffy voice. Min Si-hu looked at us with a sulky expression, demanding an explanation.
“So, what happened that made your eyes turn into macarons?”
“You really don’t remember anything?”
“Remember what? That you borrowed 20,000 won from me yesterday?”
“Please forget things like that.”
“What else is there to remember besides this?”
“You really don’t remember?”
“Remember what!”
“Seong Hae-jun, don’t you remember?”
“What is ‘Seong Hae-jun’!”
“Sigh….”
Seong Hae-min shook his head and touched his forehead. I had been a little tense when they started talking, but I found it funny and couldn’t laugh, so I just pursed my lips.
“You liked him too.”
“What, was it a person’s name? Who is it?”
“…Let’s not talk about it.”
“Hey. Then I’ll ask. Who is this person? Isn’t he the one from back then? I thought you recognized him back then… What kind of relationship do you have that you were crying your eyes out on the street?”
“…….”
Seeing even the formidable Seong Hae-min look annoyed by Min Si-hu’s barrage of questions, I had to suppress my laughter until my face turned red. Even though his personality was different from the one in the novel, the dynamic was exactly the same as back then.
When Seong Hae-min avoided answering, the arrow of questions turned to me.
“Um. But who are you? What’s your relationship with this guy?”
“Huh?”
“You’re not going to tell me either?”
“Uh….”
“That’s enough. No need to say anything.”
“Hey! There’s no need?!”
At Seong Hae-min’s words, Min Si-hu raged. It seemed like the repetitive bickering between the two would only end if I intervened.
“Um… I am Seong Hae-jun.”
“…….”
Min Si-hu, blinking, looked at me and asked, “…Did I like you? What does ‘like’ mean…?”
“I don’t know.”
“Right? That’s Seong Hae-min’s forced claim, isn’t it?”
I could see Min Si-hu sweating. Min Si-hu looked around, then leaned in and whispered quickly,
“First of all, I’m not gay!”
“Are you crazy?”
“Ah. Yes….”
Seong Hae-min immediately cursed. I couldn’t retort with “I’m not either,” so I just let it slide. But it was absurd. Judging by his words alone, anyone would think I was born gay.