LMO 124

“Snap out of it! Give up already!”

“No.”

“I knew you were crazy, but this is too much.”

His friend, looking down at Do Yun-hyeok, tore at his hair.

Do Yun-hyeok, who was second to none in health, was turning into a wreck. He had no idea how to stop this bulldozer.

He had set out to find Seong Hae-jun, but the information Do Yun-hyeok remembered about Seong Hae-jun was merely a blurry face, the name Seong Hae-jun, and his age or the high school he attended—barely enough clues to find someone.

Even his face was just a vague impression, and Do Yun-hyeok himself had a different age than the character in the novel, so the only thing he knew for sure about Seong Hae-jun was his name.

Finding someone in Korea based only on their name. He was attempting this near-impossible task through legwork and various other means, even cutting down on sleep.

His skin became rough, and his once sturdy body grew thinner day by day. While the vitality that had once graced his face was disappearing, the scariest thing was that Do Yun-hyeok was not someone who would give up easily.

So, for those who knew him, it was maddening. He was clinging to an impossible task of finding a person he’d never heard of, abandoning his daily life like an addict, so they couldn’t help but worry.

Yet, even as his complexion grew gaunt, his eyes only became sharper.

“You know me. This is who I am.”

“There are limits!”

Do Yun-hyeok ignored his friend’s frantic outburst and turned his gaze back to the computer. His friend, watching him, shook his head and finally made a decision. He needed to distract Do Yun-hyeok somehow.

“Forget it, just go meet someone. This isn’t working.”

And so, he dragged Do Yun-hyeok to visit a friend from another university who lived far away.

The warm spring sunlight was pleasant. His friend probably intended to introduce him to people and have a lively time, but he was completely mistaken. In truth, Do Yun-hyeok was not the type to be dragged along by others. He had only gone along once as a favor because everyone was nagging him.

Do Yun-hyeok nodded at his friend’s words, vaguely drinking makgeolli, and sat in a daze, calmly retracing his memories. It was true that being in a relaxed, enjoyable place had a refreshing effect on his mood.

‘Seong Hae-jun…….’

No matter how he thought about it, Do Yun-hyeok had to find him. Seong Hae-jun was the most important piece in this vast world. Do Yun-hyeok had not forgotten the feelings he harbored in the novel world. His desire to be happy with Seong Hae-jun. And he was not someone who made promises like empty checks.

Then, he found him by chance. Seong Hae-jun, sitting on a terrace chair at a nearby cafe.

Perhaps this was what it felt like to fall in love at first sight. He could recognize him at a glance even in a crowd. The surrounding commotion didn’t matter. It felt as if only Seong Hae-jun and himself remained in this wide world. His blurry face became clear, like a focused lens.

Do Yun-hyeok, doubting his eyes several times, put down the paper cup he was holding and approached him as if entranced. There was Seong Hae-jun, holding a silver can in one hand, looking down at the ground with a more forlorn expression than in his memories.

His heart pounded wildly, and his hands trembled. Still, he didn’t stop walking. Because he couldn’t lose him.

❖ ❖ ❖

“You… you were looking for me.”

Do Yun-hyeok’s words made his head spin.

“…….”

“What was that world like? What happened? I wondered about that dozens of times a day too. But there was only one thing I was truly afraid of.”

As if submerged in water, Do Yun-hyeok’s voice sank. His quiet tone struck my chest.

“That you wouldn’t exist in this world.”

I wanted to find you, somehow. Because I hoped you weren’t just a figment of my imagination.

His calm voice, devoid of any humor, stirred my heart.

Do Yun-hyeok, who was the polar opposite of me even in the novel, made the opposite choice in reality. I, fearing they wouldn’t exist in the world, turned away, while Do Yun-hyeok, fearing I wouldn’t exist in the world, desperately searched.

Unlike me, who thought of forgetting everything and living in reality, Do Yun-hyeok neither conformed to, resigned himself to, nor gave up on the reality before him.

“But it doesn’t matter anymore. Because we met.”

Why did he search for me so desperately? Even I, who wondered about Seong Hae-min’s life and death dozens of times a day, didn’t actually try to find Seong Hae-min. It was easier and more realistic to think I was crazy.

I hadn’t forgotten the confessions Do Yun-hyeok had made several times in the novel. Even if they were events from the novel, they weren’t that long ago, and it was the first confession I’d ever heard from a man, so it would have been strange to completely forget them.

But those were stories shared in a novel without real memories. Shouldn’t they have no relation to this reality? Yet, why did he search for me so desperately?

My chest felt tight and suffocating. In truth, I already knew the answer. I held my breath for a moment. I could feel my heartbeat clearly.

Do Yun-hyeok smiled a bright, cheerful smile.

“I recognized you at first sight. Even though your face was blurry in my memory….”

Perhaps it was because of his low confession that felt so earnest, but my legs felt weak even while sitting. I quickly lowered my eyes. My eyelids trembled as if I were about to cry.

“You….”

“Yes?”

“How….”

Several questions mixed together, making it difficult to discern their form. I trailed off.

Beneath my muddled words lay countless questions. Why do you like me so much? How could you decide to search for me, without even being sure I existed in this world? How did you recognize me at first sight? How could you be so different…?

The gaze that looked at me gently tickled my cheek. Do Yun-hyeok slightly crinkled his eyes and smiled.

“I told you. I’d risk my life to win you over.”

Declaring it seriously with a playful, clear face. Exactly as I remembered him. Nothing had changed. My heart pounded.

What should I say in moments like these? I had never learned, so I didn’t know.

I had never thought I could like someone, especially a man, but my heart trembled as I looked at Do Yun-hyeok, who told me he had searched for me.

I chewed on my tongue to hide my emotions.

❖ ❖ ❖

Do Yun-hyeok looked at Seong Hae-jun before him. His cheeks were flushed with a rosy hue, and his eyes darted around.

“…….”

Unable to bear Do Yun-hyeok’s gaze, who was smiling brightly at him, Seong Hae-jun turned his head away petulantly.

To be so flustered by a single remark about risking his life to win him over, Do Yun-hyeok found it all the more cute and endearing. Do Yun-hyeok knew well that Seong Hae-jun’s attitude was a reflexive reaction to try and keep his distance, to avoid becoming too sincere with the other person. This was the Seong Hae-jun he had observed.

“Stop smiling.”

“Why?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

When asked teasingly, a sheepish voice returned. How could one not like such a lovable person? In that world, anyone would have felt at ease seeing Seong Hae-jun.

“Didn’t all the characters in the novel like you?”

Seong Hae-jun’s ears perked up as if struck by the casual remark.

As expected. Do Yun-hyeok swallowed his laughter. Lee Beom, Min Si-hu, Jeon Jae-hyung—it was obvious they all liked Seong Hae-jun, and seeing that the oblivious Seong Hae-jun knew it, it seemed they had all confessed already.

“Wasn’t there anyone who said things like this?”

“……There was no one like you.”

“Then I must have been the most desperate.”

They either had nothing to lose, or much to lose. Do Yun-hyeok, swallowing his words, chuckled softly.

Although he said it like a joke, the word ‘desperate’ was not empty or superficial. He truly needed Seong Hae-jun.

Do Yun-hyeok didn’t know how it happened. Whether he had somehow become a character in a novel he had only skimmed, or if he had transmigrated into the novel world, or if he had possessed someone.

However, he was not the type to dwell on chicken-and-egg problems. The important thing was that the chicken lays the egg, and the egg becomes the chicken.

In other words, what was clear was that he remembered himself from the novel world. Of course, he had no real self in that world, but it was the current him who remembered all those events.

Looking back, in the novel world, he felt suffocated every moment for no reason. Was it because the Do Yun-hyeok in the novel made different choices than his real self? Like wearing a mask, or ill-fitting clothes, a feeling from the depths of his heart that ‘this isn’t right’ never ceased.

And in that suffocating world, the first moment he felt he could truly breathe was when he met Seong Hae-jun.