6.1 Short story 1

When Jeong Tae-ui opened his eyes, the afternoon sunlight was streaming through the window.

After sitting blankly on the bed for about ten seconds, blinking, the first thought that crossed Tae-ui’s mind was, ‘Ah, right, I came to Berlin yesterday.’ Then, hearing voices faintly drifting up from downstairs, the second thought was, ‘Ah, that’s right, he said he’d be here around lunchtime.’

How many years had it been?

Since he hadn’t seen him even the last time he visited Berlin, it had likely been three or four years. As he got older, time seemed to move faster, so three or four years felt like just the other day, but regardless, he was glad to see him.

He hopped out of bed and stepped out of the bedroom, and the sounds from downstairs became clearer. Mixed in with the murmuring of two or three people was that bored and cold voice, which remained as unchanged as Kyle’s mansion.

“Christoph, you’re—”

Tae-ui, shaking out his messy hair as he headed downstairs, stopped mid-sentence as he called out to the owner of the voice. The figures sitting in the living room all fell silent and looked up toward the stairs.

Four people were seated around the reception table.

The homeowner, Kyle; Ilay, who had returned to Berlin with Tae-ui yesterday; and Christoph, who he had heard would return to Berlin sometime this morning. unauthorized copystolen contentSitting right next to him was Richard, whose impeccably unauthorized copygroomed appearance was flawless and unchanging, no matter when he saw him.

“It has been a long time.”

Richard, looking up at the halted Tae-ui, offered a polite greeting first. “Yes, it has,” Tae-ui replied, returning the greeting as he finished descending the stairs.

Perhaps they were enjoying afternoon tea, as there were scones and black tea emitting a fragrant aroma on the table. While Kyle shouted, “Rita, one more cup of tea, please,” Tae-ui sat in the empty seat—which happened to be exactly between Ilay and Christoph.

He had heard that Christoph, who had gone to Dresden for the weekend, would return to Berlin around lunch today and stop by Kyle’s mansion for a bit, but he hadn’t heard that this man would be coming along too.

Tae-ui pulled the teacup in front of Ilay toward himself to moisten his throat, glancing between Christoph and Richard. He then locked eyes with Christoph, who had been drinking his tea in silence. As soon as Tae-ui gave a small smile, Christoph abruptly averted his gaze.

He seemed to be in a bad mood. It didn’t seem to be because of him—it couldn’t be—so perhaps something irritating had happened between him and the other man.

Tae-ui observed Christoph and Richard, between whom a subtly ominous current flowed despite the silence.

Seeing them after several years, they were exactly the same. Christoph’s bangs had grown slightly longer, but not a single strand of Richard’s hair had changed. …No, wait. Looking closely, it seemed like one more faint wrinkle had appeared around his eyes, yet he somehow looked completely unchanged. That was probably because—.

Richard, who had been quietly agreeing unauthorized copywith Kyle as the visit our sitelatter rambled on excitedly while Richard massaged [visit our site]his own arm, suddenly looked at Tae-ui. Their eyes met.

“Do you have something to say?”

Thinking that even that tone—polite but devoid of any warmth—was as unchanged as ever, Tae-ui waved his hand at Richard.

“No, just… it’s been a long time, but you’re still the same. You haven’t changed a bit, so it’s almost like,”

“Almost like…?”

Tae-ui paused mid-sentence with a smile still on his face, and Richard prompted him for the rest of the sentence with a hint of curiosity.

“Almost like he’s seeing a vampire. The atmosphere suggests not a single drop of blood would come out even if you stabbed him.”

It was Ilay who spoke up instead of the stammering Tae-ui. “No, it’s not that,” Tae-ui quickly mumbled, swallowing his tea without further comment.

He must have spent too much time with this guy. Now the guy can read minds.

Richard raised an eyebrow slightly and laughed it off.

“Haha, how could that be? Someone who spends his time with a human who refuses to die even if he bleeds like a waterfall wouldn’t compare me to a vampire.”

Indeed, you’re absolutely right.

Even after several years, this man was uncomfortable to be around. Perhaps it was because, beneath that layer of politeness and courtesy, he could feel the man’s dislike for him.

Come to think of it, this man hadn’t liked him much from the start. If he had to think about why—.

“So, how long are you staying this time?”

Christoph suddenly asked.

His face was as cold and indifferent as ever. In fact, the glance he shot Tae-ui looked so dissatisfied that he seemed like someone who wanted him to get lost immediately.

“I don’t know. How long are we staying?”

“We’re heading to Johannesburg tomorrow.”

“”What, that fast?!””

As soon as Ilay answered Tae-ui’s question, Kyle and Christoph shouted simultaneously. Tae-ui thought to himself that while it was expected of Kyle—who was saddened that his brother, visiting after so long, was leaving after only two nights (Tae-ui always thought Kyle was remarkably affectionate for being so fond of that kind of brother)—he hadn’t expected the ice-doll-like Christoph to widen his eyes and shout like that… he understood.

“…That fast?”

The reason Tae-ui asked Ilay again, ignoring those gazes, was that he could clearly feel Richard’s eyes on him and Christoph.

Yes, this is why. This is why that man is uncomfortable.

As if realizing belatedly that he had made a mistake, Christoph also glanced at Richard, but he was a step too late. The corners of Richard’s mouth, as he looked at Christoph expressionlessly, curled up ever so slightly.

For some reason, Tae-ui felt that Christoph was going to be pitiful soon and wanted to pat him on the shoulder, but he refrained, knowing that doing so would only make him more pitiful.

“You’ve become wise, Tae-ui.”

Seeing Tae-ui fidgeting with his [visit our site]hands for a moment, Ilay chuckled and muttered. He really wished this guy [Read on Read BL Novels]would stop with the mind-reading.

‘Well, after living with you for so long…’ As Tae-ui muttered bitterly, Rita brought a new teapot and scones, placing a cup in front of him.

Tae-ui sipped his tea and glanced at Christoph, who still looked grumpy.

“How have you been? Your complexion seems even better.”

“You too. It seems Rick has been feeding you well, even though you keep picking the most treacherous places to visit.”

As Christoph glared at Ilay, speaking ambiguously about whether that was a good or bad thing, Ilay gave a light laugh.

“Of course. I’ve been feeding him very sufficiently, both top and bottom. It looks like Richard has been feeding you well too. Your complexion finally looks human.”

“—Stop.”

Tae-ui tried to stop him, though there was no point in recalling the shame now. It was Richard who cut off Christoph, whose eyes had instantly turned into blades.

“You must have suffered quite a bit rolling around in Bolivia for three months, so why not stay and rest a bit longer? You could afford to go to [Read on Read BL Novels]Johannesburg a day or two later. [stolen content]Anyway, for your target to move, the pigeon must fly, and that pigeon won’t stolen contentbe able to leave Sudan until tomorrow night at the earliest.”

“Aha,” Ilay muttered and snorted. “Your news is fast. Thanks for the useful information.”

“It’s nothing.”

Tae-ui thought once again that it was indeed convenient to have someone in the information business nearby. On the other hand, since it seemed he could afford to leave a day or two later, he felt it was for the best. Moving from one end of the earth to the other had long become his daily routine, but exhaustion was still exhaustion.

“Johannesburg… Sudan…” Christoph muttered, then suddenly frowned. “Is your target this time Alejandro?!”

“Shh.”

Ilay made a gesture for him to be quiet with a nonchalant face. Where had he heard that name? Ah, right, he recalled hearing that the man was the money source for a fervent armed group.

“Why are you dragging Tae-ui to such a dangerous place when you could just go yourself?!”

“Because it’s not that dangerous for me. And if I leave him carelessly, pests like you swarm around him. Ah, excuse me. You’re in a position where you can’t be swarmed anymore.”

A white hand stroked from Tae-ui’s shoulder up to his neck and lightly gripped his cheek. Christoph, who looked unauthorized copyas if he were about visit our siteto snap back at the blatant display of affection, fell silent.

‘Just drop dead this time,’ Christoph muttered curses under his breath as he sullenly drank his tea. Richard, watching him with narrowed eyes, let out a faint smile. Waving his hand lightly as if brushing something off, he suddenly checked his watch and put down his teacup.

“I should be going now.”

“Ah, right.”

As if he had known from the start that Richard wouldn’t stay long, Kyle nodded and bid him farewell. Beside him, Tae-ui offered a polite greeting.

“Are you leaving already?”

“I have a meeting in Berlin this afternoon. I stopped by briefly to drop Christoph off as well. It was good to see you after so long. It was a pleasure.”

Tae-ui nodded at the highly formal addition.

Ah, no wonder. He wondered why this busy man had come all this way.

“Are you going straight to Dresden after the meeting? Why not stay for dinner?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I have a lot of work, so I must return immediately. Besides, I couldn’t sleep until dawn last night, so I’m a bit tired.”

Christoph looked at Richard with a puzzled expression as the latter declined Kyle’s offer.

“…? Why couldn’t you sleep? You slept the whole time.”

Richard glanced at Christoph, who spoke as if telling him not to lie, but he only smiled imperceptibly and said nothing.

“I thought Tarten’s workload had decreased since you come to Berlin every weekend, but I guess not.”

“I get busier during the week so that I can make time on the weekends.”

Listening to Richard’s response to Ilay, Tae-ui recalled something he had heard. He had heard that Richard visited Berlin every weekend to see Christoph. And that Christoph only went to Dresden on the first weekend of every month.

For the leader of Tarten to carve out time every weekend, he would have to work at a murderous pace during the week. It was impressive that he had managed to do that for several years.

As he stood up, Richard’s hand accidentally brushed the teacup. Because of that, the cup tipped stolen contentover, spilling the unauthorized copysmall amount of tea remaining inside.

“Oh, excuse me.”

Richard clicked his tongue. Fortunately, there wasn’t much tea left, so it only dampened the immediate area, but it was an uncharacteristic mistake.

Suddenly, Kyle wrinkled his nose and asked.

“I noticed you’ve been waving your hand occasionally; are you unwell somewhere?”

“No, I’m fine. My arm is just a bit numb. It’ll get better soon.”

“Your arm is numb? Why?”

“Ah, because I let him use my arm as a pillow last night. I let him use it until morning, so it’s still a bit numb.”

“Arm pillow? …Are you still sleeping with Oliver?”

Kyle asked with a puzzled face.

‘How old is Oliver this year? He must be twelve or thirteen already…’ Kyle was muttering to himself when he suddenly stopped, noticing Christoph’s face suddenly crumpling beside him.

“Oliver is a brave and independent child. He’s slept alone since he started school.”

No one asked who he had given his arm to as a pillow.

Only a short silence followed, while Christoph’s crumpled face shifted colors from red to blue.

“An arm pillow… I see. It seems your relationship has improved quite a bit over the last few years. That’s good news.”

As soon as Ilay spoke with a smile, Christoph snapped back.

“No, it was because he lost a bet, so as a penalty, he was forced to…!”

“Aha, the penalty for losing a bet was an arm pillow…?”

Ilay’s smile deepened. Realizing unauthorized copyonly then that he had dug his own grave deeper, [visit our site]Christoph shut his mouth.

His eyes were fierce as he glared at Richard with an even more distorted face. …Indeed, now Tae-ui understood why Christoph had looked so displeased. Tae-ui nodded inwardly.

Anyway, an arm pillow as a penalty for losing a bet… why is the embarrassment my share…

…No, it’s not just my share. Ignoring Christoph’s flushed face, Tae-ui fanned himself for no reason.

“What kind of bet did you make?”

No answer came to the casual question. Only Christoph’s complexion became more vivid. Instead, Richard answered.

“It was nothing special. Just a light amusement. To see how much he could endure, something like that.”

“Hmm…? Even if he looks like that, that guy is incredibly stubborn, so if it’s a matter of enduring, he wouldn’t lose easily.”

“He endures physical pain well, but carnal desire is different.”

“Aha… True, there’s visit our siteno way you’d lose stolen contenta bet. visit our siteI bet you coaxed him into a bet he didn’t even want to make.”

Richard only smiled at Ilay’s words. Meanwhile, Christoph’s expression grew increasingly fierce, and Tae-ui, unable to watch any longer, poked his head between them.

He didn’t particularly want to hear what kind of bet they had made. He shouldn’t hear it.

“No, but if it’s a penalty, shouldn’t the person who lost the bet provide the arm? The arm would be numb and sore.”

“It’s a different story with Christoph. I haven’t heard that his haphephobia has been cured yet, so the idea of resting his head on someone else’s arm and being in their embrace would be repulsive to him.”

Richard agreed with Ilay’s point.

“Exactly. It’s like hugging an aspen tree. I can clearly feel him trembling within my arm. That feeling is quite—very—pleasant.”

“You sadist.”

No, this topic is also bad. Not good.

Tae-ui tried to change the subject [stolen content]somehow, but he was a step too late. Christoph, [visit our site]whose expression had become desolate, snapped fiercely.

“It’s not that agonizing. At least when I’m doing that, I don’t hear the ringing in my ears, so that part is comfortable. That’s why I can fall asleep.”

“Of course. That’s why you slept in that guy’s arms with an arm pillow until morning. But congratulations. Your haphephobia must have improved quite a bit. Since you don’t hear the ringing in your ears in that guy’s arms, it seems your mental illness has improved too. Or should I say it’s worsened in some ways? Anyway, congratulations. It’s great that your relationship has improved enough to sleep with an arm pillow after succumbing to carnal desire.”

“—!”

Christoph, who glared at Ilay with a look as if he had once again dug his own grave, suddenly locked eyes with Tae-ui. For a split second, a flash of embarrassment seemed to cross his face, but immediately after, Christoph glanced at Richard, clicked his tongue, and looked away.

“Christoph.”

Then Richard called Christoph. Hearing that low voice, Christoph stiffened. Richard tilted his head toward Christoph and brought his lips close to his ear.

‘Do you still have lingering feelings?’ —Richard whispered, staring intently at Christoph from a close distance. At those small words, where only his lips seemed to move, Christoph’s shoulders shrugged slightly.

In that moment, a memory from long ago resurfaced in Tae-ui’s mind. What had happened to Christoph at the hands of Richard simply because he had shown a raw, inexperienced fondness for Tae-ui—.

“It was good to see you after so long, Chris. Yes, since we’ve only unauthorized copyseen each other after several years, it’s unauthorized copynatural to be glad. We barely kept in touch and [visit our site]only saw each other after years, right? Even if it’s just for a moment. I don’t know when it will be, but let’s see each other again next time.”

Tae-ui quickly spoke to Christoph. He patted his shoulder lightly, but noticing Richard’s gaze on his hand, he quickly withdrew it.

No. He never wanted to see them again. He didn’t want to be entangled in their relationship in any way, and he absolutely, positively had no desire to see their raw side again.

Whether the meaning had finally gotten through or not, Richard, who had cast a brief glance at Jeong Tae-ui, straightened his body from where he had been leaning toward Christoph.

At that moment,

“—I have no regrets.”

Christoph spoke.

“It’s just that it’s been a long time, so I was briefly glad to see you. So,”

With a desolate tone, Christoph looked up at Richard. His eyes were fierce.

“The way you look at [Read on Read BL Novels]me—as if you’re suspicious, as stolen contentif you’re stolen contentscrutinizing me—it’s unpleasant.”

“—.”

Richard looked at Christoph with a strange expression. Then, he shook his head.

“I wasn’t suspicious.”

“You were.”

“I wasn’t.”

For the first time, Richard’s voice seemed to shrink slightly. He almost seemed a bit flustered. Though it might have just been a feeling.

“You were. Because you were, even yesterday—you pushed me, saying, ‘Since that guy is here, you must be eager to get back to Berlin.’ Looking at me just like you are now. Even though I told you I wasn’t,”

Christoph poured it out fiercely, as if the frustrations that had been building up since last night were finally bursting.

In the face of this sudden situation [Read on Read BL Novels]unfolding in the living room just as they unauthorized copywere about stolen contentto leave, no one else spoke.

Ilay began to watch them with leisurely indifference, not batting an eye, and Jeong Tae-ui simply stepped back and watched in silence—since trying to stop them would be futile and might even make things worse.

Ilay looked at Jeong Tae-ui and smiled with his eyes. His eyes were saying, You’ve become wise, which slightly irritated Tae-ui, but he ignored it.

Then,

“Christoph.”

Richard, who had been staring at Christoph as if frozen, spoke.

“I wasn’t suspicious. I was simply—creating a pretext to get what I wanted. It may have been a punishment for you, but for me, it was the opposite.”

“—.”

“Do you think I slept well while you were asleep? No, I didn’t sleep a wink.”

After Christoph, who had been trembling like an aspen tree, visit our sitehad unauthorized copyfinally grown quiet in his arms, Richard had stayed by his side, letting him use his arm as a pillow, until dawn. All night long, giving him his arm—.

“I am not suspicious. I am simply anxious that the only thing I possess, the only thing I must not lose, might vanish like a bubble. As long as I crave and lust after you this much, even while you are in my arms—I will be anxious until the day I die. I am sick of this greed myself, but I cannot help it.”

“—, —why are you,”

Christoph looked at Richard with wide eyes as the latter spoke in a low voice that sounded almost like anger. Suddenly, Christoph’s expression softened. A low whisper escaped his faintly trembling lips and then cut off.

In that brief silence, a gaze that was fiercely hungry even at this very moment looked at Christoph as if to devour him. To the point where Christoph flinched, feeling oppressed.

The one to end that short silence, which felt as long as eternity, was

“Hmm… you two.”

It was Kyle, who had been watching them with his arms crossed from a step away. Rubbing the wrinkle between his brows with his fingertip, he looked at his watch and spoke.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, but Richard, you’ll be late for the meeting. I also need to hurry to the office now. James is pressing me, saying work is piling up. —James would try to eat me alive if I reduced the workforce right now, but Christoph, I’ll give you a special vacation this week. Go to Dresden. I hope you two can go there and properly finish your conversation.”

Though I don’t know if it’s a conversation that can be finished, [visit our site]Kyle added in a voice [visit our site]barely audible, then turned to Richard.

“Will you stop by and pick him up after the meeting? Or,”

Richard looked at Kyle silently. Then, with a short “Thank you,” he nodded, grabbed Christoph’s wrist, and strode outside. Christoph seemed bewildered for a moment, but he shut his mouth and followed. As if they were heading off to a battlefield.

As the two suddenly vanished, Jeong Tae-ui thought blankly a step too late, Uh… I didn’t get to say goodbye… but by then, the sound of a car leaving was already audible from outside.

And all that remained was silence.

“That guy won’t be able to sleep today either.”

Once the spectacle disappeared, Ilay muttered in a bored tone, and Jeong Tae-ui stared intently at him. “What,” Ilay replied, meeting his eyes, to which Jeong Tae-ui slowly shook his head. “…Nothing,” he said, and let out a hollow laugh.

“I just thought you’re still the same. Even after several years.”

Still the same. This place. Them. Just as they were.

It was somehow funny, yet visit our sitehis heart softened relaxedly. Yes, [visit our site]he liked the way [Read on Read BL Novels]time flowed like this.

Meanwhile, Kyle walked unsteadily toward the sofa as if all his strength had drained away and flopped down.

“I just can’t get used to it… how can those two…?”

He muttered to himself in a pained voice, shaking his head.

It seemed he had been freshly shocked by the raw private lives of his cousins, whom he had known and adored since they were children.

“As long as they’re living well, that’s all that matters,” Jeong Tae-ui offered his own kind of consolation, and Kyle nodded while letting out a sigh.

“Yes, that’s true. But even seeing it in person, I just can’t imagine it.”

“….”

No, it’s because you didn’t see it ‘in person.’ If you really saw it ‘in person,’ you wouldn’t even want to imagine it.

As Jeong Tae-ui forced back the words that had reached the tip of [stolen content]his throat, Kyle continued to Read on Read BL Novels[unauthorized copy]mutter, seemingly unable to recover from the shock, “An arm pillow, an arm pillow… that Christoph, and Richard…”

Yeah, I can’t imagine that either.

“Do you two do that as well…?”

Suddenly, Kyle looked at Jeong Tae-ui and Ilay with suspicious eyes. Startled, Jeong Tae-ui looked at Ilay.

“No, not particularly…”

It wasn’t that they intentionally avoided it, but they didn’t intentionally do it either. While they had occasionally slept using each other’s torso or a part of their body as a pillow, he had no memory of intentionally performing the act specifically called an ‘arm pillow.’

“Do you want to try? If you want, I can give you an arm.”

“…Since everyone around us is your enemy, wouldn’t it be incredibly dangerous if your arm went numb and you couldn’t use it properly?”

Ilay shrugged as if it didn’t matter. However, Jeong Tae-ui waved his hand. “No, I’ll pass. Not necessarily…”

He couldn’t imagine it either, or rather, he didn’t want [unauthorized copy]to. The soft and sweet image associated with visit our sitethe words unauthorized copy‘arm pillow’ simply didn’t come to mind. No matter how accustomed he had become to this man, that was a bit…

“Hmm…”

As Ilay smiled subtly while looking at Jeong Tae-ui, a phone rang in the distance, followed by Rita’s voice calling Kyle.

“Kyle, there’s a call from James. He sounds angry.”

At that moment, Kyle gasped, forced himself to move to answer the phone, and disappeared toward the study. Only then did Jeong Tae-ui flop down onto the wide, empty sofa.

He had woken up from a good nap, but in the time it took to drink a cup of black tea, all the energy in his body had been drained.

Kyle, who must have been worn out by James, unexpectedly returned with a beaming smile on his face. In his arms, he carefully held a bundle of books that Richard had sent.

Kyle, who had acquired those books—which Richard would have originally sought out for Christoph—through an unexpected act of kindness, looked as if he possessed all the treasures in the world. As soon unauthorized copyas he unauthorized copyreturned, he excitedly ran to the study and Read on Read BL Novelsshut himself in. It was obvious he was rearranging the books and carefully inserting them one by one.

“At this rate, Christoph will get a vacation every week.”

“If T&R fires Christoph, Richard would probably gift him a whole library.”

Jeong Tae-ui quickly understood Ilay’s response and laughed.

“I wonder if Christoph is doing okay right now…”

Even though they had seen each other after several years, they barely got to talk. Christoph must have stopped by Kyle’s mansion specifically because Jeong Tae-ui had come, yet he had left so quickly.

Should I send a message? He glanced at his phone but decided against it. He felt that reaching out might inadvertently create a more dangerous situation for Christoph.

Yeah, it’s best to just leave him be… As Jeong Tae-ui took a sip of beer, Ilay spoke as if he had suddenly remembered something.

“Ah, you don’t have to worry. I already sent a greeting message on your behalf.”

“…Huh?”

“Since I figured you’d be worried, I used your phone to send a message to Christoph for you.”

“…When?”

“I suddenly thought of it when you went to get the beer. Knowing your personality, it was obvious you’d be concerned about Christoph, so I greeted him for you.”

Jeong Tae-ui stared blankly at Ilay, who was smiling with his eyes and spreading his arms as if claiming to be a very considerate person. Then, Tae-ui hurriedly picked up his phone. Checking the sent messages, sure enough, there was a record of a message sent to Christoph thirty minutes ago.

『It was brief, but it was good to see you. I wanted to talk slowly since it’s been a while, but it’s a shame we couldn’t. Let’s meet up separately soon. Sleep well.』

“It’s a standard greeting, right?”

“….”

Yes, it was standard. Most people would call it standard.

However.

“…If by any chance Richard sees this, won’t he twist it into something else?”

“He will. And it’s not ‘by any chance,’ he’ll definitely see it.”

“….”

Jeong Tae-ui gripped the beer can and stared intently at Ilay.

“Why are you doing this to me…?”

“To you? Nothing will happen to you.”

“No, I mean, of course I’m fine, but this will definitely make Christoph more—”

“More loved. To a degree that an arm pillow can’t even compare to.”

Probably at this very moment, Ilay added, shrugging his shoulders.

Jeong Tae-ui looked at the smiling Ilay with blank eyes, lost for words. Then, he shook his head.

Forget it. Was it not a daily occurrence that this man was mean-spirited?

“What are you worrying about? He said he absolutely doesn’t suspect. A simple greeting message like that is nothing.”

“…He said he doesn’t suspect, but he’s anxious.”

“That has nothing to do with the message. And nothing to do with you. That’s just his fundamental problem.”

He was right. This man always ended up saying the right thing, leaving others speechless.

Jeong Tae-ui nodded reluctantly and let out a sigh. …Even so, the beer tasted good.

Suddenly, a breeze blew. Along with the rustling sound of leaves clashing, the scent of grass wafted in through the open window.

The scent of grass and soil from the garden [visit our site]Peter had well-tended mixed [Read on Read BL Novels]with the cozy unauthorized copyscent of bedding that Rita had dried in the sun during the day.

This place was the same. Even after several years, this place remained unchanged in its spot.

While he himself had lived a turbulent life and nearly died several times—living a life where he couldn’t know what tomorrow would bring—there were certainly things that remained unchanged.

Because those unchanging parts existed, he could willingly accept the volatile parts.

If there was something that was infinitely volatile yet simultaneously unchanging—.

“Why are you looking at me like that.”

“…You can do mind reading. Guess what I’m thinking.”

Ilay, meeting Jeong Tae-ui’s steady gaze, curled the corners of his mouth.

“You must have fallen for me all over again.”

“….”

Since that wasn’t entirely wrong, it felt even more unpleasant and subtle… He didn’t know if the man heard the mutterings he chewed over in his mouth. But seeing him chuckle without a word, it seemed he had. Or perhaps he really had used mind reading.

Swallowing his beer with a sigh, Jeong Tae-ui shrugged.

“But I still can’t imagine it.”

“What.”

“…Guess.”

“Hmm—, like Christoph sleeping on Richard’s arm?”

As expected, the man was like a ghost.

Wondering where on earth one learned mind reading, Jeong Tae-ui casually shook the beer can with a few sips left.

“No doubt he was humming with excitement because you were coming to Berlin and [stolen content]unauthorized copyended up rubbing Richard the wrong way. stolen contentIt wouldn’t have been hard for Richard to coax that idiot, who has nothing but a face to look at, into a bet.”

“…Is that my fault?”

“It’s not a ‘fault.’ It’s just that you’re not entirely free of responsibility.”

“That’s unfair!”

“If it’s unfair, just don’t see him at all.”

Jeong Tae-ui gaped in disbelief. I mean, they see each other maybe once every few years, and he’s talking about a meeting that lasted barely a few dozen minutes…

“Why. Are you anxious too?”

“I have nothing to be anxious about, but it’s not exactly pleasant. …Well, today was a bit enjoyable.”

You absolute sociopath…

Tsk-tsking inwardly, Jeong Tae-ui just drank unauthorized copyhis beer. Beside him, Ilay, leaning [stolen content]his arm visit our siteon the window frame, muttered, “Anxiety…” and nodded.

“Yeah, I understand how that feels. When you accidentally get your hands on something you never knew existed, and it wraps itself entirely around your life, you feel like you couldn’t live if you lost it.”

“Even if you lose it, it’ll just be painful for a while, but you’ll manage to live regardless.”

“No, you can’t.”

A quiet but firm answer came back immediately.

Jeong Tae-ui set down the empty can and smacked his lips bitterly.

He was extreme, as always. Even though life is unpredictable and one doesn’t actually know how they will act when something happens.

But—yes, he felt he understood. When you lose something you can never get back, and that thing was the largest part of your life.

While he was blankly staring at the rustling leaves in the darkness outside the window, Ilay lightly pressed his temple. It was a sign that sleep was coming.

Indeed, he had spent months frantically traversing battlefields and then flown to Berlin without a moment’s rest. No Read on Read BL Novelsmatter how steel-like his body was, [Read on Read BL Novels]there was no way [stolen content]he wasn’t tired. Besides, they had to leave soon… Ah.

“So, are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Hmm? Ah, no, I’ll rest one more day. Richard’s information is accurate.”

“Hmm. Is it a dangerous job this time too?”

“Who knows. As usual.”

His expression was as nonchalant as his tone. Jeong Tae-ui also nodded casually. Indeed, if it weren’t dangerous, it wouldn’t come to this man.

The fact that he was going with Jeong Tae-ui meant it was ‘relatively’ less dangerous. If it were seriously dangerous or awkward in many ways, he would have set off alone and returned in tatters.

…I hope he stops going to places that are too dangerous.

Toggling the beer can, debating whether to open another, Jeong Tae-ui glanced at Ilay. Ilay, rubbing his temple, met his gaze.

“What.”

“Nothing, just. I was thinking of following you wherever you work from now on.”

He didn’t explicitly say, Then maybe you’ll go to places that are moderately less dangerous.

“Hmm—.”

Staring intently at Jeong Tae-ui, Ilay suddenly curled the corners of his lips subtly. Ah, he had a bad feeling about this…

“I suppose you’ve developed a desire to do it every night. I had been going alone occasionally to let you rest. Well, fine. I won’t have to hold back depending on your condition, so that’s good.”

Adding, “I welcome it,” Ilay leaped away from the window frame and approached Jeong Tae-ui. Crying ‘Oops’ internally, Jeong Tae-ui reflexively scooted back a step.

“Hey, wait! Not today! Let’s hold off today!”

This was Berlin. This was Kyle’s mansion. Kyle’s study was right next door. Kyle was currently happily organizing books. Even though it felt a bit late to be modest, he had absolutely no desire to engage in an intense physical conversation in such a situation. No matter how well they knew each other, there was a world of difference between knowing something intellectually and actually seeing and hearing it.

Ilay looked down intently at Jeong [unauthorized copy]Tae-ui, who was holding onto Ilay’s shoulders [visit our site]to keep stolen contenthim at a distance. Suddenly, Ilay’s eyes narrowed.

“If I hold off…?”

“Huh?”

“What are you going to do for me instead?”

For a moment, Jeong Tae-ui was speechless.

No, wait a minute… Normally, that’s something that can only be done with mutual agreement… Though that logic wouldn’t work on you, that’s how it normally is, and I’m saying I don’t want to do it, so what kind of compensation… you shameless bastard.

—Knowing full well that cursing him was useless, Jeong Tae-ui quickly gave up and let out a deflated sigh.

“Fine, what do you want.”

“Hmm—I wonder…”

Ilay smiled obliquely and stepped back from Jeong Tae-ui. After appearing to be Read on Read BL Novelslost in thought for a moment, stolen contentthe words he suddenly blurted out were,

“That’s right. Why don’t you try using my arm as a pillow?”

“……, ……Huh?”

As Jeong Tae-ui blinked blankly, wondering what he had just heard, Ilay lightly threw himself onto the bed.

“Aren’t you curious why those guys play around like that? How good it feels?”

Not really…… —but Tae-ui knew all too well that saying so would be useless. Ilay was already lying stretched out on the mattress.

After staring down at Ilay for a moment, Jeong Tae-ui let out a short sigh and set down his beer can. Then, he climbed onto the bed.

Right, this guy must be sleepy too. He felt languid himself. Sleeping with an arm pillow was a fair deal. If he just thought of it as sleeping on a hard, slightly uncomfortable pillow…….

Crawling across the mattress to lie beside Ilay, Jeong Tae-ui pushed his head onto the man’s arm, thinking that since they already did far more extreme things, an arm pillow was nothing—though for some reason, it felt a bit embarrassing.

However, the moment Tae-ui’s head was about to touch his unauthorized copyarm, Ilay pulled it away. His head passed unauthorized copythrough empty air and landed on the pillow.

Huh……? Just as he blinked, Ilay grabbed Jeong Tae-ui’s wrist, straightened his arm, and laid his own head down upon it. A heavy weight settled on his arm.

“……. ……. …….”

Jeong Tae-ui stiffly turned his head. Slightly below eye level, he saw the top of Ilay’s head.

“……You’re the one who wants to use it as a pillow……?”

“Is there a reason I can’t?”

“……No.”

There wasn’t, but it was heavy.

At first, he thought it was just a bit weighty, but it grew heavier and heavier. They say the head is the heaviest part of the human body.

“It’s not as uncomfortable as I thought. I can sleep like this.”

The voice of Ilay murmuring those words was faintly tinged with drowsiness, making it seem as though he really would fall asleep just like that.

“I can pull my arm away once you fall asleep, right……? It’s starting to go numb.”

“I’ll wake up if you do.”

“Don’t wake up.”

A soft chuckle vibrated beneath his arm. An “Okay” followed. After that, there was only a deep silence.

The sound of low breathing, the wind, and the distant chirping of insects.

Body heat transferred from where they were pressed tightly together. It was strange. It felt more vivid than when they were actually mixing their bodies. The cozy sensation of being in very close contact with something living and breathing.

His arm was tingling. Feeling his fingertips grow cold, he tried moving his fingers slightly. What if the blood stops flowing and I can’t use my arm anymore……? He worried briefly, but despite that, he didn’t feel bad.

The sensation of the man lying quietly and soundly with his head [stolen content]in his arm was almost lovely……, unauthorized copy……, ……it wasn’t the first Read on Read BL Novelstime, but he really was out of his mind. Jeong Tae-ui shook his head slightly to drive away the vague sense of self-loathing.

“What. Can’t sleep?”

A low but clear voice reached him. However, they had spent enough time together for him to distinguish that it was a voice half-lost to sleep.

“Hmm……, nothing. Just thinking about a few things.”

“Like what.”

“For example, that Richard seems to cherish Christoph quite a lot despite how he looks. To think he’d just leave his arm there until morning even if it went numb.”

“I take it you don’t cherish me?”

“……. You know, there are some things a person just never gets used to, no matter how many times they experience them.”

Like comments like that, he murmured, and the sound of a chuckle was heard again.

“I think I’ll fall asleep soon, so pull it away then.”

Ilay spoke as if he had no intention of moving his head first. He seemed to find lying like that comfortable as well. Though his voice was still clear, Tae-ui could tell he was gradually slipping into sleep, so he simply nodded in silence.

Soon, silence returned. How long had that peaceful and cozy stillness lasted?

“Tae-yi.”

Suddenly, Ilay called out to him in a low voice.

“Yeah.”

Jeong Tae-ui answered him, and that was it. There was no business or purpose. He had simply called out as if to confirm his presence right before falling asleep.

He’s going to sleep now. Just as he expected, Ilay said nothing more. He listened for a while, but only the low, quiet sound of breathing continued.

……Maybe I can pull my arm away now. It’s beyond tingling; I’m losing sensation.

If he pulled away, this guy would surely notice in his sleep, but he [stolen content]would visit our sitelikely move [Read on Read BL Novels]his head without saying much. So, he could stop now.

“…….”

Jeong Tae-ui slowly tilted his head. He looked down at Ilay’s face from an angle.

It was familiar. Not just that face, but the sound of his breathing, his body heat, and his scent.

Even though these were all things he already knew well, each one felt vivid, as if being engraved into him. At the same time, he felt something he usually ignored.

How he regarded this man—his feelings for him surfaced with extreme clarity.

“――.”

Suddenly, Jeong Tae-ui could understand. Why Richard hadn’t been able to close his eyes all night. What he must have thought and felt while looking at Christoph in his arms.

That state of mind surely wouldn’t be exactly the same as what Jeong Tae-ui was feeling now, but there must have been a part of it that aligned with the feeling of not wanting to readily pull away this heavy, tingling arm.

So, Jeong Tae-ui let out a quiet internal sigh unauthorized copystolen content[visit our site]and offered a short prayer for Richard, a man he didn’t particularly like.

Meanwhile, while murmuring to himself, ‘Ah, it hurts. It’s tingling. I think the blood isn’t flowing. I won’t lose the use of my arm forever, will I?’, he eventually grumbled, ‘Whatever, I don’t care,’ and left his arm where it was.

In the meantime, quietly and slowly, the night deepened.

Another day ended amidst days where the immediate future was unpredictable. Would he be able to be like this tomorrow? And the day after?

It had been a long time since he stopped thinking about such things while living with this dangerous man, but still.

I hope the days of feeling this body heat in my arms continue a little longer, Jeong Tae-ui thought as he closed his eyes.