4.3 The Deficient One
Once, as a child, I had a sudden thought.
Why can’t I?
What is the difference between him and me? No two people are the same, but what difference exists between him and me that he can, and I cannot?
I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t sad. I simply watched the scene unfolding before my eyes with a vacant expression, wondering. Why I couldn’t.
My mother loved him. Anyone could tell. She doted on him and treated him with endless tenderness and preciousness. And I had never seen her be that way with me.
I didn’t wish for her to do the same for me. I didn’t envy him. I truly, simply wondered.
Why I couldn’t.
Then, I suddenly remembered something my mother had said once.
You are deficient.
What is? Where? How can I fill it?
She didn’t tell me those things. All she let me know was the fact that I was deficient.
Since then, always listening to the voices that clung to my ears and buzzed noisily in my head, I wondered.
Why I couldn’t.
And even now.
I do not know.
Why I cannot.
Just as before, why he can, but I cannot.
A piece of glass flew.
Clink! —A delicate piece of craftsmanship shattered into pieces, making a refreshing sound. Hearing that sound, I swung my hand at the thing next to it. Another refreshing sound rang out.
Was I angry?
I asked myself as I smashed the fragments scattered on the table with my fist, breaking them into even finer shards.
Was I angry? —No.
Then, am I unpleasant? —No.
Even as my hand was torn to shreds and covered in [stolen content]blood, I crushed the fragments further with my knuckles. Until they could be broken no more.
Eventually, the table was covered in blood, and the shattered crafts were so drenched in gore that their original forms were unrecognizable.
Only then did I suddenly stop my hand and silently look at my own hand, which, like those fragments, was now stained dark red, its original color lost.
And I thought.
I must be depressed.
* * *
Christoph was staring blankly at the box on the table.
It was a large box with a sophisticated logo, large enough to hold a substantial antique doll.
Blood droplets were splattered here and there on the box. The top surface, a deep navy blue, remained mostly clean and untainted, but the sides and bottom were messily stained with blood.
Because it was a dark navy, it wasn’t glaringly obvious, but it was noticeable even without looking closely.
Although the inside of the box would be pristine and flawless, he couldn’t give it as a gift in such a dirty state.
“…It doesn’t matter. I’m going to throw it away.”
Christoph suddenly muttered.
The monologue he whispered to himself entered his own ears and was delivered intact.
—It doesn’t matter. I’m going to throw it away.
Christoph suddenly tried to recall how long it had been since he had bought a gift for someone with his own hands.
But there was no need to search his memory. This was the first time.
He had given gifts on the Elder’s birthday in the past, but that was before he left Dresden, and those gifts were actually items chosen and sent by his mother.
Thus, this was the first time Christoph had personally chosen a gift for someone.
It hadn’t been easy.
The moment he took some time in the afternoon to visit a department store and entered the ready-to-wear section, his mood soured.
Ready-to-wear. Even custom-made clothes often turn out poorly if made at a mediocre place, let alone ready-to-wear.
He had entered a place that was said to be famous, but he felt unpleasant from the moment he stepped inside. To think I have to give such crude items as a gift, he muttered to himself, making his dislike obvious, yet after much deliberation, he [visit our site]finally chose one piece of clothing that looked somewhat wearable.
It was decent enough. For something hastily prepared to be worn for a single day, it wasn’t too bad.
Since the store told him they only had the display item and no extra stock for sale, he ordered it from another branch to be delivered directly to his home. By the time he returned home late in the afternoon, the beautifully wrapped box had already arrived.
He didn’t feel bad.
Except for the fact that he had bought ready-to-wear, receiving the item he had worked hard to choose, now wrapped so sophisticatedly, actually made him feel quite good.
This should suit him well enough.
That guy looks thin on the surface, but he actually has a muscular build, and his skin tone is more golden for an Asian—similar to a South American mixed race—so he’ll look quite good in these clothes. It would certainly look much better than those sloppy shirts and cotton pants he always wears around the house.
I’ll strip him of those unsightly clothes right now and put this on him. If it doesn’t fit, he’ll throw it away and go buy another one tomorrow. He thought the process of choosing again would be enjoyable.
By the time he returned to the mansion, it was long past dinner time, but Christoph stolen contentbarely ate, took a shower, and stolen contentimmediately went to Jeong Tae-ui’s room clutching the box.
His heart was beating strangely. His mood was slightly elevated, as if he were angry or excited, but it wasn’t bad. He liked this kind of excitement.
At times like this, he felt he should smile.
With a face that didn’t easily form a smile, Christoph managed a clumsy one as he reached Jeong Tae-ui’s room.
And then, he saw it.
Everything had been fine when he returned to the room earlier, but something had happened while he was eating and showering; Jeong Tae-ui’s door was raggedly destroyed.
The door was creaking as if it would fall off the frame at any moment, and there was a large hole right next to the doorknob. Splinters of wood were jutting out, as if it had been struck with a hammer.
And through that large hole, the inside of the room was visible.
It was a hole large enough for a child to pass [unauthorized copy]through. While a hole that size couldn’t show the entire room, it was large enough [visit our site]to see exactly what was happening in one corner.
No, he didn’t even need to see. Through the skewed gap of the door and that large hole, suppressed sounds were occasionally leaking out.
Thus, Christoph, who had slowed his pace in bewilderment upon seeing the broken door, wiped the smile from his face the moment he heard those sounds, even before looking inside.
The first thing he saw was a back. A smooth-looking, well-muscled back. The reason that back glistened in the light was that it was drenched in sweat.
The line leading from the back to the waist was arched deeply. Beads of sweat rolled down along that curved line.
The face wasn’t visible. At first, Christoph didn’t know who the person was, whose back was turned diagonally toward him. No, he didn’t want to know.
The face, of which only the nape, the right ear, and a bit of the right cheek were visible, looked very similar to the person Christoph had come to find, but it might not be. He couldn’t know without seeing the face.
Christoph stood frozen in place, staring blankly at him.
From the shoulders to the nape, the ear, and the [Read on Read BL Novels]slightly visible cheek, he was [visit our site]flushed red. He was curling his body as if trying to suppress the noise, but occasionally, cries resembling moans leaked out as if they were unbearable.
Below the waist was hidden from view. However, whenever the waist shook violently, the upper part of the wide-open buttock cleft became visible.
Presumably naked, the man with his back turned was sitting on someone’s lap.
And that someone was sitting in a direction that faced Christoph diagonally, so their face was recognizable.
Rick. Ilay Riegrow.
He was a former colleague who had once worked in the same place. A man he had still worked with very occasionally until recently, whenever their schedules aligned.
That man was in the room right now.
His lower half was obscured from view, but he was wearing something on his upper body. A shirt, unbuttoned down to his chest, clung to his skin, faintly damp with sweat. And below that, the man sitting atop him shielded his groin.
Christoph watched them with an expressionless face.
Though the lower half was hidden, the exposed waist, the glimpses of bare skin whenever their bodies swayed, and the bare knees of the man sitting on Rick all betrayed their situation.
It was then.
Suddenly, Rick looked this way. His eyes met Christoph’s.
He arched an eyebrow slightly. Even in a situation where he had been caught mid-act, there was no sign of panic; he simply looked at him as if it were slightly unexpected.
But soon, Rick smiled. He smiled meaningfully—or perhaps triumphantly—at Christoph.
Rick wrapped his arms around the back of the man sitting on his waist. He pulled him close and slowly licked his ear. As if doing it on purpose for the audience, Rick’s tongue traced from the man’s earlobe to his cheek and down to his neck.
When Rick lightly bit the nape of the man’s neck, just below the ear, the man let out a low moan. His nape flushed deeper as his shoulders hunched.
Rick smiled. He looked at the man with joy. With immense tenderness.
With that kind and soft expression—one Christoph had never seen, and one most people likely never would—Rick looked at the man, kissed him, and caressed him.
Then, at some point, as the man began to shake more violently, as if convulsing intermittently, Rick whispered into his ear. In a voice low enough for Christoph to hear.
“—Tae-yi. Cry.”
And the moment he finished those words, he thrust his hips up violently.
Simultaneously, the man with his back turned cried, just as he had been told.
The sound that burst out, unable to be suppressed, was closer to a sob than a moan. A cry gasping for pleasure.
Ilay. —…Ilay. ……I love you. ……I love you. —Ilay.
Calling out that name, which was not visit our sitepermitted to just anyone, the man exhaled [Read on Read BL Novels]ragged breaths. He wrapped his arms around Rick’s neck and leaned his forehead against his shoulder.
As the short but intense climax subsided and only the sound of their mingled, heavy breathing remained, Christoph, who had been standing there as if frozen, met Rick’s eyes once more.
Rick looked at Christoph and smiled, narrowing his eyes. Christoph realized poignantly the meaning behind that joyful and proud smile.
Christoph turned away.
He didn’t even know how he had returned to his own room.
When he came to his senses, he was standing blankly in the middle of his room. He didn’t even know how long he had been standing there.
With a flinch, his hand suddenly twitched, and as he looked down, he saw he was holding a large box in one hand. The neatly tied ribbon had come undone on one side, ruining its shape.
The moment he looked at the box.
“—!!”
Suddenly, his heart wavered uncontrollably.
No, it was his mind that wavered.
He threw the box carelessly onto the floor. Then, he grabbed a glass ornament that caught his eye and smashed it down onto the table. And the one next to it as well.
He shattered the broken glass, and shattered it again, and again, pounding it with his fist until the fragments were too small to be broken any further. Standing before those tiny shards, Christoph finally came to his senses and stood there vacantly.
“Ah—…”
A small sigh escaped his suddenly parted lips.
I shouldn’t do this. Someone told me not to do this.
—Who?
Right now, he didn’t want to remember who had said those words.
Christoph flinched, shrinking his body, and quietly clenched his fists. As he looked down at his dripping blood, the thought occurred to him again.
They told me not to do this.
He didn’t want to think about who he had heard it from, but someone had said it.
Christoph began to walk. He thought he should at least get some bandages from the infirmary in the main building. Then, the person who told him not to do this wouldn’t have such a displeased look on their face.
On the way to the main building, he passed an old servant who had worked here since before Christoph had left Tarten long ago. He gave her a brief instruction to clean his room and headed to the infirmary.
The doctor there frowned upon seeing Christoph’s blood-stained hand. Having been here for a long time, he wasn’t particularly surprised, but he continued to frown and click his tongue while pulling glass shards from the bloody hand and providing basic treatment.
The doctor tried to wrap the bandages for him, but that stolen contentwould inevitably involve touch. visit our siteChristoph shook his Read on Read BL Novelshead. He didn’t want to touch anyone right now.
He took the bandages and wrapped them thickly and clumsily himself before returning to his room.
And in his room, which had been cleaned so thoroughly that not a single shard of glass remained while he was at the infirmary, the large box sat quietly on the table.
It seemed the servant had placed the box, which he had thrown carelessly on the floor, back on the table after cleaning the floor and the surface.
“……”
Suddenly, Christoph felt exhausted. Why hadn’t he realized it until now? He was so tired.
Christoph wiped his dry eyes with the back of his hand. His eyelids stung as they rubbed against the coarse bandages. His hand throbbed. Regardless, he rubbed his tired eyes a couple more times.
He sat in the chair in front of the table, leaned back deeply, and quietly closed his eyes. A silent sigh escaped him.
“……Why……”
A low mutter escaped his lips. With his eyes closed, it almost sounded like sleep-talking.
“Why can’t it be me……?”
The mutter, containing nothing but a vague melancholy without sadness or anger, echoed back to his own ears.
“Why can’t it be me……”
He whispered softly once more.
But no matter how many times he whispered, no answer came. There was no one to answer him. He, the only person hearing this whisper, did not know the answer.
Just then.
“It sounds like you’re saying something interesting.”
A voice approached suddenly, without a trace of presence.
Christoph flinched and frowned, then slowly opened his eyes.
A familiar face was stepping through the door.
A familiar but not particularly welcome figure, Richard Tarten.
“What are you doing here,” Christoph muttered bluntly.
But even as he asked, he already knew the answer implicitly.
Just as he had felt that the cool gaze Richard cast upon him held a faint heat.
“What am I doing? I believe I told you earlier.”
Richard arched an eyebrow as if Christoph’s question was the strange one. He then undid two or three of the top buttons of his shirt.
Christoph frowned and glared at him.
Earlier, after finishing his schedule and returning to the mansion, Richard had spoken to Christoph as if giving a casual update while stepping out of the car. He told him to wait, as he would come by to finish some remaining work at night.
He hadn’t said what he was coming for. He simply told him to wait. As if to nail down their positions: he commands, and Christoph obeys.
“I wondered if you might have avoided the place, but you’ve been waiting obediently. Well done.”
Richard spoke with a smile, as if praising a child for being well-behaved. It was the same consistently gentle smile, one where it was impossible to tell what lay beneath.
Christoph frowned slightly.
“I wasn’t waiting on purpose.”
His voice grew slightly sharp. “Ah, of course you weren’t,” Richard dismissed lightly.
In truth, he had tried to avoid him. It wasn’t solely for that purpose, but he didn’t like the idea of Richard coming to this room.
That was why, when the butler delivered a large clothing box in the afternoon, Christoph had gone straight to Jeong Tae-ui’s room. Originally, he had wanted to go to the garden behind the main building tomorrow, get a beautiful flower from the gardener, and tuck it into the ribbon of the box, but he also wanted to get out of the room.
Perhaps it would have been better not to go.
“……”
Christoph kept his head lowered in silence. Seeing this, Richard approached, tilting his head slightly in curiosity, but then suddenly stopped.
Stopping a few paces away from Christoph, Richard’s smile vanished for a moment as if he had seen something. He kept his gaze fixed on a certain spot and clicked his tongue softly.
“Christoph. Hand.”
Richard spoke briefly, holding out his palm.
At the command, which sounded as if he were training a dog, Christoph frowned and looked at him. But Richard spoke again.
“Christoph. I said, give me your hand.”
When Richard, who detested repeating himself, clicked his tongue and spoke again, Christoph’s frown deepened, and he spoke sullenly.
“Why.”
As if that short response displeased him, Richard looked at Christoph coldly for a moment. A voice as cold as that gaze spoke for the third time.
“I believe I told you not to talk back to me. —Hand.”
Richard’s palm, extended toward Christoph, tightened slightly. As if [stolen content]he would forcibly twist it up if he [Read on Read BL Novels]wasn’t obeyed this time.
Christoph looked at him suspiciously, but after a moment of silence, he reluctantly held out his hand.
Blood had faintly seeped through the bandages wrapped around Christoph’s right hand and dried. Though it was a trace barely noticeable, the bandages were wrapped thickly.
“If blood is seeping through even with it wrapped like this, just how badly did you tear it up?”
Richard clicked his tongue. He ripped off the tape haphazardly attached to the end of the bandage and unwound it. Christoph frowned and tried to pull his hand away, but Richard gripped his wrist and wouldn’t let go.
As the bandages came off, the bloodstains grew larger. By the time only a few layers remained, the bandage itself looked almost black. When the bandages were fully removed, the gauze underneath was also blackened and stiff.
“Hmph… you’ve self-harmed quite a bit again. Is there really no cure for that mental illness of yours?”
Richard muttered displeasedly and ripped the gauze away carelessly. With a tearing sound, the gauze that had been dried and stuck to the blood fell away, reopening the wound. Blood began to bead up again over the wound that had seemed to be healing.
It wasn’t just the palm where the gauze had been. While the palm was the most severely torn, there were [visit our site]large and small wounds all over his hand.
“What did you break this time?”
Richard asked, flipping the hand over—which looked as if it had been ruthlessly scratched with glass. When Christoph didn’t answer after a moment, Richard glanced at him and looked around the room. He soon seemed to realize what was missing.
“I see you broke the Benini vase. And the Barovier as well. You really have no sense of the value of things.”
Richard clicked his tongue. Looking down with disapproval at the wound-ridden hand freed from the messy bandages, he reached out. He gently touched the wound on Christoph’s hand with his fingertip.
“…—!”
The flinch was due to the sensation of being touched by another person rather than the pain.
Seeing that reaction—the face remaining indifferent while only the elbow trembled slightly—Richard shifted his gaze from the hand to Christoph’s face.
“Self-harm, mysophobia, haphephobia. You truly have a complete [visit our site]set of [Read on Read BL Novels]mental illnesses.”
With a snort, he suddenly grabbed Christoph’s hand firmly. The reason for the tremor this time was also because he was being held, not because of pain.
“What’s the reason this time?”
“—…”
“There must be a reason you tore your hand up like this. Or has your mental illness progressed to the point where you self-harm for no reason at all?”
Christoph remained stubbornly silent. As Richard watched him glare into space with his lips tightly shut, as if he would never open them, Richard clicked his tongue.
He soon looked down at the hand and frowned. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he picked up the discarded bandages and began to wrap the hand again.
“You seemed to be in a very good mood until you returned home; something must have happened this evening,” Richard muttered coldly.
Christoph still didn’t speak. He only glared at the hand [Read on Read BL Novels][stolen content]gripping his wrist, his fingertips twitching whenever the hand wrapping [visit our site]the bandage occasionally brushed against the back of his hand or fingers.
A silence fell for a while.
Richard wrapped the bandage while looking at the hand with disapproval, and Christoph only glared at his hand.
Then, Christoph suddenly lifted his eyes to look at him. Sensing the gaze, Richard spoke without looking back.
“Is there something on my face?”
“…….I thought you unwrapped the bandage just to rub salt in the wound.”
When Christoph muttered bluntly, Richard stopped his hand for a moment and looked at him. Looking at Christoph with a slightly appalled expression, Richard let out a mirthless snort and grimaced.
“Do I look like that kind of person to you?”
“You love tormenting people.”
Richard glared at Christoph in disbelief. Letting out an annoyed sigh, he said, “The direction is different.”
During the subsequent silence, Richard skillfully finished wrapping the bandage. He tied it just enough so it wasn’t as thick as before, knotted it, and cut off the rest. Only then did he touch the bandage briefly before letting go.
Christoph stared blankly at his bandaged hand.
“Then let’s hear it. What’s the reason a guy who was so excited on the way home had another episode in just a few hours?”
“…….There is no such thing.”
Christoph answered coldly. But Richard cast a mocking gaze.
“Why? Are you going to tell me you’ve developed bipolar disorder now? Your mood soaring to the sky and crashing to the floor in a few hours—how dire.”
“……”
Just then, Richard’s gaze fixed on the table. He looked down curiously at the large box on the table before turning his gaze back to Christoph.
“What is this?”
“……”
“At this brand and size… is it a suit?”
Richard arched an eyebrow, looking back and forth between Christoph and the box.
“Since when do you buy ready-to-wear suits? You’re incredibly picky about clothes.”
As Richard reached for the box, Christoph snatched it away just before his hand touched it and threw it under the table.
“Don’t touch it.”
Richard, momentarily taken aback by Christoph’s sudden aggression in clearing the box, stared blankly at the shouting Christoph. Soon, a cold sneer settled on his face.
“I suppose your mysophobia has extended to clothes now. Do as you please. I don’t care if your mental illness deepens.”
Richard withdrew the hand he had been about to extend. But as he pulled it back, the hand paused for a moment and moved toward Christoph’s cheek.
The moment the large hand fully cupped his cheek, Christoph flinched visibly and reflexively turned his head, but the other hand also came forward to cup the other cheek.
Cupping his face with both hands, Richard leaned his head in close.
“You were in an unusually good mood this afternoon, Christoph. Yes, you became noticeably happier after you went out for a bit when you had some free time. …I wonder where you went.”
“Take your hands off, Richard. I’m not in a good mood today.”
His mood had been unstable for a while. There [unauthorized copy]was no way Richard, having seen his wounds, didn’t know that Christoph was in a more unstable stolen contentstate than usual. However, he only narrowed his eyes and did not remove his hands.
“That’s unfortunate. I’m in a good mood today.”
“Richard. Take your hands off…!”
“If I don’t, are you going to go tell Mother? ‘Richard touched my face,’ like that?”
Richard let out a low laugh.
The moment the word ‘mother’ left his lips, Christoph fell silent. A deeper intensity swirled within the piercing blue eyes that glared fiercely at him.
“Christoph. Won’t you answer me? I’ve been dying of curiosity all afternoon. It’s the first time I’ve seen you look so excited. I wonder what on earth put you in such a good mood. …Did you happen to run into Jeong Tae-ui?”
When Richard softly spoke Jeong Tae-ui’s name, Christoph’s expression stiffened.
Suddenly, the image he had seen earlier flashed [visit our site]through his mind. The sight of Tae-yi’s back as he hugged [stolen content]stolen contentRick’s neck and called his name.
Watching Christoph, who remained silent with a hardened expression, Richard suddenly smiled. Then, he let the hand that had been cupping Christoph’s cheek slide down.
The hand descended slowly from the nape of the neck to the shoulder, the chest, and the stomach, tracing the skin through the thin shirt as if trying to feel every inch. Christoph’s complexion shifted, and he recoiled.
“Rihar—!”
“Shh. The window is open, Christoph. And Bianca loves her evening strolls. She always walks in the garden next to the east wing, but who knows? Perhaps today she happens to be passing right under that window. Don’t you think?”
At Richard’s soft voice, Christoph fell silent as if under a spell. No, that name was a spell. One that exerted an absolute effect over Christoph.
The faint sound of grinding teeth escaped him.
“Christoph. Tell me. Where did you go this afternoon? You weren’t gone for very long, yet you returned in such a wonderful mood. Where did you go, and who did you meet?”
Richard whispered into Christoph’s ear.
His hand, having reached below the waist, seemed to lift the hem of Christoph’s shirt before slipping inside. The fingers touching his bare skin were cold. Christoph flinched, staring at Richard with wide eyes.
Christoph could not defy Richard’s words. No matter how much resentment built up or how much rage he vented, it was an undeniable fact. It was because there was a spell that had held Christoph’s ankles firmly since childhood.
Facing that gaze, which contained a vague anxiety and even resignation amidst the anger, Richard frowned slightly. Staring at Christoph, who looked at him with a pallid complexion, he suddenly bit Christoph’s lip.
“Did someone teach you that most men would just let it slide if you looked at them with eyes like those?”
“…?!”
Christoph frowned in confusion at the low whisper against his lips. Richard used his tongue to pry his lips open and push inside.
“Or perhaps you were just born with it. …Yes, that’s more likely.”
“…—!”
The hand that had slipped inside Christoph’s clothes slowly crawled up, groping his body. No matter how much Christoph recoiled to avoid the hand, the arm wrapped around his waist did not waver in the slightest.
“Christoph. Tell me. Who did you meet this afternoon?”
Richard’s voice issued a low command. After watching Christoph hesitate in silence for a moment, Richard bit his lip again.
A sharp sensation, more intense than pain, made Christoph grimace. Inside his shirt, the hand that had climbed above the waist to the chest stopped.
“…! Don’t, don’t touch—.”
But before Christoph could speak urgently, the hand stroked slowly and clingily from his chest toward his armpit.
“Christoph.”
Richard whispered his name as [unauthorized copy]if urging him. Without the luxury of hesitating any [stolen content]longer, Christoph finally opened his lips with a stutter.
“Clo… clothes…”
Christoph whispered faintly, shuddering at the slow movement of the fingers lingering on his chest and circling his areola. The moment the answer came, the touch paused.
“Clothes?”
Asking back in confusion, Richard stared blankly at Christoph for a moment, as if the answer were completely unexpected. After blinking a few times, Richard glanced at the clothing box thrown on the floor.
“You went out to buy that?”
When Richard asked, Christoph gave a small shrug and nodded. Richard then stared intently at Christoph for a few more seconds without moving, only blinking. Then, he suddenly frowned. With the hand still on the chest, he gripped the pectoral muscle as if scratching it downward.
“Are you joking with me right now?”
“It’s… true…! While you were meeting someone from Prager, I had a Read on Read BL Novelsmoment, so I went [stolen content]to Karstadt next door…”
Christoph spoke urgently, flinching every time the hand gripped and kneaded the flesh of his chest roughly.
Richard still looked at Christoph with disbelief, but after a moment of thought, he clicked his tongue, judging that Christoph’s story was likely true given the circumstances.
“…I knew you were picky about clothes, but… for you of all people to be this happy over mere ready-to-wear clothes is surprising. …They must have really pleased you.”
“….”
Christoph did not answer.
As if it didn’t matter, Richard kissed Christoph. Suddenly, he narrowed his eyes and let out a smirk. Then, as if giving kind advice, he whispered while kissing Christoph’s cheek and ear.
“That’s why you shouldn’t act so unusually excited when you normally don’t. It makes me unable to bear the curiosity. Don’t you agree…?”
Richard suddenly pulled away from Christoph. He also removed the hand that had been hugging and stroking [unauthorized copy]his body. Stepping back a pace, he looked down at him as if admiring a piece of art.
Still recoiling as if the sensation of that touch remained, Christoph looked up at Richard with disgust and muttered, “Crazy bastard.”
“Do you hate it?”
“…?”
“You hate it when I touch you like this, don’t you?”
“…Yes.”
To Richard’s abrupt question, Christoph answered curtly, making no effort to hide his displeasure.
Richard lowered his head and burst into laughter.
“Christoph, you fool. Telling me you hate it only makes me want to do it more.”
Christoph glared at him coldly. In front of such a Christoph, Richard looked down at him with an unreadable expression and suddenly spoke.
“Christoph. Smile.”
“…?!”
At the unexpected request, Christoph frowned and looked at him with a strange expression.
“Smile, Christoph.”
Richard repeated.
“No. Why should I smile for you?”
“Because I want to see it. And because you must follow what I say.”
Richard did not listen to Christoph’s refusal. Christoph widened his eyes and said “No” once more. However, Richard did not back down, repeating the command with only a glance.
Like a staring contest, the two faced each other for a long time. In contrast to Richard, who looked down at Christoph with composure, Christoph looked as if he would kill him on the spot if the situation allowed.
However, after facing him for quite a while, Christoph finally let out a sigh that sounded like a groan. Clicking his tongue, he glared at Richard once more with reluctance, then hesitantly twisted the corners of his mouth upward.
He seemed to be trying his best to make a smiling face, but Richard looked down at the expression—which didn’t look like a smile at all—with eyes full of pity.
“You said you practiced, yet you can only smile like that? I thought you’d finally learned how to smile based on what I saw earlier, but I guess that was just a fluke.”
“…? When did I smile at you?”
Christoph asked sullenly with a confused face.
“When you returned from your outing this afternoon. Didn’t you know? You were smiling as you opened the door and walked in. Even your eyes. …To add to that, with [Read on Read BL Novels]that exact face, you spoke to me [visit our site]as soon as you entered. Asking what the schedule for the rest of the day was. Don’t you remember?”
Richard asked back, looking as if Christoph were the strange one. Christoph blinked for a moment, then nodded blankly, thinking, Ah, right.
Right, I think I did ask that… Christoph murmured to himself, then suddenly stiffened his expression and shut his mouth.
A moment of silence followed.
Christoph, who was receiving Richard’s steady gaze on his eyes and lips, suddenly looked embarrassed before immediately contorting his face.
“I wasn’t smiling at you.”
His lips twitched slightly. He looked even fiercer, as if embarrassed that such a thing had happened even though he didn’t remember it.
Richard watched him in silence before slowly speaking.
“Then you shouldn’t have smiled where I could see you.”
His gaze had also cooled. Until a moment ago, he had a faint, customary smile, but now even that was gone. Then, suddenly, he smiled again. It was a smile as cold as his gaze.
“Christoph. Shall I tell you something? I was tired today because I couldn’t sleep properly last night due to a backlog of work. So, until this afternoon, I planned to go home, finish the remaining work, and go to bed early. …But then you smiled. Do you understand what I mean?”
His tone was subtly twisted. Richard continued, looking at Christoph, who seemed confused and didn’t quite grasp the meaning.
“If you hadn’t smiled like that, I might not have come to see you today. But since you smiled like that, how could I possibly resist coming?”
“…What does my smiling have to do with you coming here?”
“Oh, it has everything to do with it. Everything. Seeing you smile made me desperately want to see that smile turn into a cry.”
As he finished speaking, Richard finally regained his smile. With a low laugh like a breath of wind, he began to unbutton his shirt.
As he started to undress, Richard stared intently at Christoph’s increasingly grim expression, unauthorized copyas if not wanting to miss [stolen content]a single moment, and after throwing off his shirt, he began to take off his pants. Seeing Christoph still just staring at him harshly, he gestured with his head as if asking what he was doing and spoke nonchalantly.
“Don’t just watch. Take them off. Or should I strip you? With my own hands.”
Christoph’s expression immediately distorted.
After glaring at Richard with clenched teeth for a moment, Christoph stood up readily. He began to take off his shirt with his own hands. Watching this, Richard smiled.
“You’ve become wise.”
Richard seemed to be in a good mood.
Beneath his forehead, where [unauthorized copy]stolen contentshort hairs clung due to [visit our site]perspiration, his eyes were curved in pleasure.
Christoph could not understand it.
Was it simply because he had a tactile aversion, and thus disliked this man hugging his waist, causing his body to instinctively recoil? …No, it felt like it was more than that.
Even the slightest brush against any part of his body made him shudder, but above all, the most unbearable thing was the feeling of the genitalia penetrating him.
That filthy thing. In that filthy place.
The thought that a sight too horrific to behold was unfolding below caused a chill to run through his body. Christoph ended up trembling violently.
From the moment he lay down on the bed, a tremor close to a convulsion did not stop in Christoph’s body. At times it subsided slightly, and at others it became violent enough to shake the mattress, but no matter how hard he tried to stay calm, he couldn’t help the instinctive shaking.
Whenever he reached his limit and convulsed, turning pale, the hand stroking his body slowed down. Then, the strange sensation of the skin being touched would dull slightly, allowing him to catch his breath.
It was exhausting. It felt as if his bodily senses were heightened to the point of screaming. Every time a strange visit our sitehand stroked his body, he reflexively tried to push it away, but each time, [unauthorized copy]the hand stroking another area would torment a more sensitive spot, leading to failure.
Still, it was better than at first. In the beginning, the sheer novelty of the sensation—which felt almost like the first time in his life—had nearly sent his mind flying. He truly felt like he was going crazy.
But now, although his mind was still tense and precariously sharp like glass that could shatter at any moment, he was able to maintain his consciousness while enduring that eerie unfamiliarity.
…Do people really like this?
How do they endure this eerie sensation that makes the whole body jump, tickling and stroking every part—including places even he himself had never touched?
Suddenly, Jeong Tae-ui came to mind in a corner of Christoph’s distant thoughts. The sight he had seen earlier.
Jeong Tae-ui, who had hugged Rick while whispering his name, didn’t seem to dislike it. No, perhaps he even liked it.
How could he like something like this?
It was while he was thinking such vague thoughts with the unauthorized copysmall fragments [stolen content]of reason remaining in his head, struggling to [unauthorized copy]calm his reflexively jumping and trembling body.
Suddenly, the sensation of the genitalia swelling inside his body was transmitted vividly. He kept recoiling because even the mere contact was eerie, and unable to bear the feeling of the place being forced open and widened further, Christoph let out a low moan.
At that moment.
As if that sound had reached his ears, Richard paused his movements for a moment. Suddenly, he brought his lips close to Christoph’s ear and whispered.
“You seem to like it. I guess you can feel it.”
Even in the whispering voice that sounded pleased, there was a faintly ragged breath.
Christoph almost shouted that it wasn’t true, but he shut his mouth. And he wondered again. This man truly seemed to be in a good mood.
He couldn’t understand why he had such a pleased expression while rubbing a filthy place with someone who hated him.
So, Christoph frowned—not on purpose, but because his face naturally contorted due to the eerie sensations of being stroked [visit our site]repeatedly—and looked at Richard, eventually asking.
“Are… you… feeling good?”
At Christoph’s question, Richard looked momentarily caught off guard. Or rather, he looked surprised. Looking down at Christoph with a somewhat strange expression, he gave a slightly twisted smile.
“…Yes, I am.”
“What… is… good?”
“The way you’re gasping for air with a face that doesn’t know what to do with itself.”
As he spoke, Richard bit Christoph’s nose hard enough to hurt; his face looked somehow mischievous despite the pleasure. Then again, he was a mischievous bastard to begin with. Otherwise, he would never have said, ‘I’m doing this on purpose because you hate it.’
Then, Richard began to increase the pace.
Putting strength into the arms hugging Christoph’s waist, he moved his hips faster and faster. The pressure began to increase to a frightening degree stolen contentas [unauthorized copy]the bottom was filled, and filled, and filled again.
Simultaneously, at the friction of the skin becoming rougher and more intense, Christoph bit his trembling lips. It was indeed hard to bear. It felt as if his mind was screaming. A chill ran down his spine, and his body began to shake more violently.
You like it too, you like it too, Richard whispered, sounding pleased for some reason. Even while trembling, Christoph glared fiercely at Richard, but Richard ignored such a gaze, half-rising to grip and stroke Christoph’s thinly trembling genitalia.
It was skin-crawling. At a time like this, when the act was racing toward the end, no matter how much he tried to steady his heart and get used to the sensation, his mind screamed wildly.
Just as he widened his blue eyes, thinking he couldn’t bear it any longer and that he would go crazy at this very moment.
“…!!”
Richard’s low exclamation burst in his ear. With that breath, and the thick, bursting sensation inside his body, Christoph let out a moan he couldn’t swallow and shuddered, his vision fading away along with a dizzying sensation below.
“Why on earth would anyone feel good…?”
Without realizing he had lost consciousness for a while, and without realizing the fact that he had regained it, Christoph had such a thought with a distant mind.
However, it wasn’t just a thought; it seemed he had unconsciously murmured those words aloud.
“You’re saying it feels good because it feels good, right?”
A response that was obvious, if nothing else, came from right beside him.
Only then did Christoph realize that someone—Richard—was lying next to him.
Startled, as if he had suddenly discovered someone standing in a room he thought was empty, Christoph whipped around. Richard, who had been lying beside him, also widened his eyes as if startled in turn.
“S-since when were you lying there…—.”
“Since when? Since the moment you lost consciousness and fell asleep while cumming. It’s been about ten minutes.”
Christoph stared blankly at Richard, who was lying barely a few centimeters away. It was because he hadn’t realized at all that he had lost consciousness. Because of that, a brief chunk of his memory had vanished.
Lying on his side with his chin propped up, Richard looked down at Christoph and frowned slightly at that vacant expression.
“You’ve lost your soul… Get a grip, Christoph Tarten.”
Only after hearing those words did Christoph seem to finally snap back to his senses, immediately scowling.
“I’ve got a grip. You’re not out of your mind, so why are you lying here! If you’re done doing everything you wanted, just go back already!”
When Christoph shouted sullenly, Richard arched an eyebrow.
“So you’re saying [Read on Read BL Novels]since I’ve enjoyed everything there is to enjoy, my business here is finished…?”
At those slow words, Christoph’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. For a moment, he seemed unable to utter a single word.
“En-… En-… What did I enjoy! Did it look like I was enjoying it to you, huh?!”
“Wasn’t it? Then there’s no other way to explain this.”
Richard murmured languidly and raised a hand, holding it up in front of Christoph’s face. As Christoph looked at it with a frown, he saw something white and viscous clinging to the hand.
“You shot this.”
The moment Richard spoke indifferently, Christoph, who had stared blankly at the hand for a few seconds without understanding the words, suddenly froze, his face turning pale.
“T-t-that can’t be, that’s…—!”
As Christoph stammered and fell into a state of confusion, his face turning pale in an instant, Richard looked down at him leisurely with one corner of his mouth curled up, as if amused. Then, with a sigh of “whatever,” he lowered his hand. Once the hand [unauthorized copy]vanished from his sight, Christoph seemed to regain some composure; he shut his mouth and glared at Richard with a pale face.
“To think you’d just leave something so filthy on your hand like it’s nothing….”
As Christoph added the word “filthy,” Richard opened his mouth to say something with an incredulous look, but after a moment’s hesitation, he closed it again.
“I’ll just leave you be without saying anything because I pity you…. Just don’t faint in the bathroom later.”
Christoph listened to Richard’s murmurs with a bewildered expression, then frowned as another thought occurred to him.
“Don’t you… feel unpleasant when you hug and rub your body against someone you dislike?”
When Christoph spoke in a surprisingly serious tone while glaring at Richard, Richard looked down at him expressionlessly. He seemed to think for a moment, casting his gaze into the air, then glanced back at Christoph and spoke.
“My body doesn’t necessarily follow my emotions. Besides, I believe I told you. I like seeing your crying face.”
Christoph glared at him with sharp eyes. Murmuring Read on Read BL Novelscoldly that his bad taste never disappears, he turned [visit our site]halfway around and lay on his back.
Looking down at that back, Richard quietly raised his hand and drew a straight line from the nape of the neck down to the waist.
“…!!”
Christoph jumped up as if having a seizure and whipped around. Meeting those wide eyes, Richard wore a twisted smile.
“Stop it! You already tormented me enough for today!”
“There’s no set amount for ‘today’.”
“…! …!!”
Glaring at him terrifyingly, Christoph slowly backed away. He retreated until he was lying on the precarious edge of the large bed. A gap of about a meter opened up between them.
Richard looked down at the distance with indifference and murmured.
“If you don’t come back right now, know that there will be a second round.”
“…? Second round…??”
“I mean I’ll do another ‘bit of acting’.”
When Richard spoke, mimicking Christoph’s own expression, Christoph’s face stiffened. Then, he cast a fleeting glance downward.
The moment he confirmed that the thing—which should have withered after finishing a round just a short while ago—was still not fully subsided, he quickly looked up, thinking he had seen something he shouldn’t have.
“……. …….”
Richard watched intently as Christoph approached very slowly, inch by inch, as if he were truly reluctant. At some point, Richard seemed to smile, but when Christoph looked at him, the smile was gone. He must have misseen it.
“Do you… really feel good doing that? No, I don’t mean specifically with me, but normally. …When [visit our site]you Read on Read BL Novelsrub your body against another person… isn’t it creepy?”
“That’s the logic of someone with haphephobia,” Richard cut him off coldly the moment Christoph asked in a seriously puzzled tone.
Stopping about 50 centimeters away from Richard, Christoph frowned and murmured to himself.
“Why does it feel good?”
Suddenly, Jeong Tae-ui came to mind.
Would he feel good if he did that? If I could have done that for him… would I have been okay too? If only. If I could have done that. Like other people—.
Suddenly, his vision seemed to blur.
“Eh…?”
Christoph murmured in confusion and tilted his head. After blinking a few times, he murmured “Eh…?” again and, wondering if, he wiped the [unauthorized copy]corner of his eye with the back of his hand. Fortunately, nothing came off.
Looking down at such a Christoph, Richard murmured.
“Come closer than you just did. Otherwise, we’re going to round two.”
“…—.”
Christoph pushed his thoughts aside, glared at him terrifyingly, and slowly moved his body. As he approached bit by bit like a snail, a quiet and casual voice reached him.
“The more you engage in the act, the more the sexual sensitivity increases; whether it feels good or not is also a matter of training. You should try to force yourself to think it feels good. If you’re capable of it, that is.”
A smirk was mixed into the last sentence. When Christoph frowned suspiciously and stared intently, waiting for the follow-up, Richard momentarily made a subtle face, as if he had just spoken on a whim. However, he soon sighed and continued.
“If there’s someone who seems to be enjoying it and you’re curious about what that feeling is like, try imitating them, regardless of the reality. If that guy screams, you try screaming; if he shakes his hips, you try shaking yours; if he hums, you do the same. If you do that, you might be able to feel something similar to that guy.”
Frowning with a look that said Why [unauthorized copy]am I even giving this kind of advice, Richard stopped there and shut his mouth as if annoyed.
By then, Christoph, who had stopped at a distance where he was almost touching Richard, fell into deep thought with a serious face.
Imitate. Imitate just as Jeong Tae-ui did. Then he might be able to understand why it’s good, if it’s truly good, what he feels, and what he thinks. Then—he might find out why he can’t.
Suddenly, his chest felt hot and throbbed. Not knowing the reason, Christoph held his breath for a moment.
“Imitate….”
Christoph murmured quite seriously. He recalled how the other had done it earlier.
He didn’t remember exactly, but for now—.
Christoph cast a fleeting glance upward. When he looked at Richard with a slightly dissatisfied face, Richard, who had been looking down at him indifferently, arched an eyebrow as if puzzled by the gaze.
Christoph took a deep breath and whispered softly.
“Richard. …Richard… Richard….”
He stared at him while calling his name about three times. Richard looked back at Christoph with an even more bewildered expression.
Silence flowed between them for a few seconds as they faced each other. As if in a staring contest, neither broke eye contact first, until finally.
“I knew I couldn’t do it.”
Christoph looked away first. His complexion was pale, as if he had been imagining something while calling that name.
“I don’t have the confidence to call your name like that while doing that act…. I’d be lucky if I didn’t just swear.”
Richard, who had been listening to the muttered monologue in confusion, seemed to realize the meaning a step late. He glared at Christoph with a slightly appalled face.
Christoph glanced at him and turned his head away with a sullen expression.
“Forget it… I’m too exhausted to imitate that much today. I’m going to sleep, so just go back. How long do you plan on staying there?”
Murmuring in a voice as sullen as his expression, Christoph simply closed his eyes. Even with his eyes closed, he kept a crease between his brows for a while, but soon returned to a peaceful expression with a quiet sigh.
“…Come to think of it, do I feel a bit better than before…?”
He suddenly opened his eyes and murmured to himself at the thought, but soon shook his head. There was no way he should feel better. If anything, there were reasons for his mood to plummet.
“…….”
Christoph felt a momentary darkness, but it was brief; he drove the feeling away with a long sigh and closed his eyes again. Drowsiness washed over him faintly.
Seeing that he was falling asleep even though this guy was still next to him, he must have been truly tired. Thinking that, he let out one more long, peaceful sigh and decided to surrender his consciousness to the oncoming sleep.
And beside Christoph, who quickly fell asleep while murmuring something to himself.
Richard was watching him with an incredulous face.
Having stared at Christoph without breaking his gaze for a long time, he let out a hollow laugh once Christoph began to breathe regularly. Then, rubbing his temple, he looked down at him intently again.
“…….”
After watching him like that for a while, he chuckled again.
“Not even funny….”
Richard murmured that, gave Christoph’s cheek a few taps with his fingertips—hard enough to be slightly painful—and then got out of bed.
Glancing at the clock, which already indicated it was late at night, he gathered his scattered clothes from the floor and put them on.
Having dressed completely with a somewhat light and refreshed face, Richard glanced back at the bed. Seeing Christoph sleeping as if dead, stolen contenthe grimaced and clicked his tongue, then ended up letting out another hollow laugh.
“What a ridiculous guy….”
Murmuring those words once more, he walked over to the bed and carelessly tossed the blanket, which had been bunched up at the foot, over Christoph. Then, he brushed back his hair and turned around.
Before leaving the room, Richard habitually looked around to see if he had forgotten anything, and his gaze suddenly fell on a box that had fallen under the table.
The box, which had rolled on the floor and had its ribbon completely undone, had its lid slightly askew.
“…….”
Richard thought for a moment and walked toward it.
“I knew he liked clothes, but to be that happy over just one piece of clothing….”
Richard chuckled, murmuring a sarcasm that had no listener.
As he placed the box back on the table, his gaze suddenly caught a bloodstain on the side of the box.
Richard frowned slightly. After rubbing the bloodstain with his fingertip for a moment, he opened the lid to examine the clothes.
The clothes were wrapped once more in internal packaging paper. A pristine new garment lay quietly inside the box.
After casually brushing the high-quality suit, Richard’s gaze moved to the purchase card tucked into the packaging. Along with the size and care instructions, there was a greeting thanking the buyer.
As Richard scanned it without much thought and was about to close the lid, he suddenly froze.
Frowning slightly, he looked down at the purchase card again.
A size that likely wasn’t Christoph’s, even allowing for some margin of error, and in the middle of the greeting printed below the care instructions, the name of the purchaser was written in handwriting. To be precise, not the purchaser, but the name of the owner who would wear the clothes.
The moment he confirmed that name, the expression vanished from Richard’s face.
The pleasant smile that had been lingering languidly until a moment ago vanished as if washed away, and in its place sat a chilly, expressionless mask from which not a speck of emotion could be glimpsed.
“…Ha….”
Suddenly, a cold laugh leaked from his lips.
“I see… No wonder he was so happy after buying the clothes.”
Murmuring low to himself, he traced the name written on the card with his fingertip. Slowly, pressure entered his fingertip, and the card crumpled.
Richard turned his head to look at the sleeping Christoph. His eyes, now cold and indifferent without a trace of warmth, stared at him for a long time.
Soon, Richard turned away.
Until the moment he left the room and closed the door, a smile never returned to his face.
* * *
The moment Christoph entered the drawing room, the boisterous laughter and the sound of conversation ceased all at once.
The noises, which had reflexively died down from the moment the door opened, vanished instantly upon confirming that the person entering was Christoph.
The drawing room—an internal drawing room primarily used when Tarten relatives living outside the mansion visited—was usually used as a place for casual conversation, and today, several young men were gathered there chatting. It was in the midst of this that Christoph entered.
Unless he had other business, Christoph never visited this place. It was for a similar reason why he didn’t visit the lounge in the basement of the west wing. He didn’t like the people who gathered in such places, nor did he like mingling with them.
The fact that the room fell silent the moment Christoph entered was not [unauthorized copy]solely because he [Read on Read BL Novels]was someone who [stolen content]rarely showed himself in such places.
The young men who were close with Richard did not hold positive feelings toward Christoph. At least one of their friends, or someone they knew through others, had experienced something harsh at the hands of Christoph once or twice.
Entering the drawing room with a cool face, Christoph walked silently through the hostile gazes pouring toward him. His destination was the room attached to the inner side of the drawing room.
“Hey, Richard is in there, why are you—!”
As Christoph tried to enter, one of the young men tried to raise his voice aggressively, but the young man sitting next to him stopped him. He knew that Christoph had been assisting Richard with his work for the past few days.
Leaving behind those who, though reluctant, did not speak to him because it was something Richard had decided, Christoph opened the door to the inner room.
Though slightly narrower than the outer drawing room, the inner room was about the size of an ordinary room, and Richard was sitting there alone. Documents were scattered messily in front of him.
As soon as he saw Christoph enter, Richard pushed a few bundles of files toward him and spoke immediately without a greeting.
“Compare the parts checked in red ink to see if there are any errors.”
Having finished with those words and no further explanation, Richard shut his mouth again, his gaze never leaving the documents he was flipping through.
Christoph looked at him with dissatisfaction for a moment before sitting in the seat opposite him and opening the files.
The contact from Richard had come in the morning.
Just as he had stepped out of the bathroom, Richard had unilaterally left a message saying he wouldn’t be going out today and would handle pending work at home, telling him to come to the inner room of the west drawing room on the second floor of the main building, and then hung up.
Although their relationship was one where Richard gave unilateral orders to Christoph, it couldn’t possibly feel good to have the call ended without even listening to a response.
Christoph flipped through the folder Richard had handed him, roughly gauging the workload before glancing up at him.
Richard had never treated Christoph kindly to begin with, but today he seemed particularly ill-tempered. Normally, they would at least exchange greetings when they first met in the morning, but even that was absent.
“……?”
Christoph frowned and glared at him for a moment, then let out a sigh, his shoulders shifting slightly. It didn’t really matter.
Christoph soon began comparing the folders as Richard had instructed.
How long did they stay like that, in a silence where no words were exchanged, with only the sounds of young men chatting in the drawing room outside the door drifting in?
Suddenly, without even taking his eyes off the documents, Richard spoke abruptly.
“Come to think of it, do you like the clothes?”
Engrossed in checking the papers, Christoph looked up at him, bewildered by the sudden question.
“Clothes?”
As Christoph asked with stolen contenta furrowed [visit our site]brow, Richard replied without shifting his gaze from the documents.
“The clothes you bought to give to Jeong Tae-ui. The ones wrapped neatly with a ribbon.”
“……What?”
Christoph’s face stiffened slightly.
As Christoph stared intently at Richard with a blank expression, unable to speak for a moment, Richard finally looked up at him.
Richard, who looked up with a face so cold it could almost be mistaken for anger, raised an eyebrow in curiosity upon seeing Christoph’s frozen expression. He tilted his head as if lost in thought and lightly tapped the table with the folder.
“That suit you prepared—the one you were so excited about just because you were giving him a gift that you didn’t know what to do with yourself. ……What is it? Why that face? Did he say he didn’t like it?”
A smirk played across a face that had been cold and devoid of warmth. However, even that was not the pleasant smile he usually wore. It was a smile that could only be described as cynical.
Christoph glared at him in silence before slowly speaking.
“……How do you know that?”
“My, my……. Seeing that face, it seems you really were rejected. What a shame, considering you were so happy just from picking out the gift.”
“I asked how you knew!”
Ignoring the question and wearing only a faint sneer, Richard was met with Christoph’s piercing gaze and a low shout.
There was only one answer. Unless Christoph had actually handed the box to Jeong Tae-ui, it meant that Richard had opened the box.
A sudden surge of anger welled up. He was furious—enough to make his chest ache and tighten—that Richard had touched something he had put away, and that this man now knew the misery of how that gift, intended for Jeong Tae-ui, had become useless in Christoph’s heart.
But just as Christoph was about to push back his chair and step toward Richard.
Suddenly, the voices of the young men [stolen content]chatting in [visit our site]the drawing room outside subsided. It seemed someone had arrived.
Ignoring this, Christoph strode toward Richard and grabbed him by the collar, growling as he glared at him menacingly.
“Who told you to touch my things as you please?”
“Your things. Wasn’t it a gift meant for Jeong Tae-ui anyway? ……Ah, right. More importantly, Christoph, you’d better let go of me now.”
Muttering with a snort, Richard calmly spoke, tapping the hand Christoph had clamped around his collar. Christoph exploded in anger.
“Don’t touch me!”
It was then.
The door opened, and a person entered.
Christoph, who hadn’t even [Read on Read BL Novels]heard [unauthorized copy]the small sound of a knock, cast a fierce glance toward the door as it suddenly [Read on Read BL Novels]opened. But at that very moment.
“……, Christoph?”
The person who gasped in a small voice, speaking as if unable to believe what she saw—Christoph clutching Richard’s collar—was Bianca.
His mother, who had not contacted Christoph once since he entered the Tarten estate.
“……, Ah…―.”
For a moment, his mind went blank. Christoph tried to say something, but his tongue seemed to freeze, and he stopped mid-speech.
Richard, looking at her as if entranced, quietly removed Christoph’s frozen hand from himself and gave her a beaming smile.
“You’ve arrived, Aunt Bianca.”
“Oh…… my, yes……, I had to come since you called me, of course…….”
Startled, her eyes wide and her body stiff, she only slowly nodded and answered once Richard spoke to her with a casual smile. Entering the room and closing the door behind her, she hesitated for a moment before asking with a solemn face, looking at Christoph.
“Christoph. Did Richard do something wrong to you?”
“…….”
Christoph did not answer. He opened his mouth as if to say something with a pale, frozen face, but in the end, no words came out.
As Christoph closed his mouth and lowered his head, Bianca frowned slightly and admonished him in a quiet voice.
“I don’t know what happened, but you are currently in a position of helping Richard with his work. I’m sure you could have resolved this through conversation; violent behavior does not look good.”
“……. ……I’m sorry.”
Christoph lowered his head [unauthorized copy]slightly, his stolen contentlips trembling, and uttered only those words in a voice barely audible.
Bianca continued to look at Christoph with a face that was both worried and displeased for a moment, then turned to Richard with a look of pity.
“Are you alright, Richard? It wasn’t anything serious, was it?”
Then Richard, who had been watching them with an awkward expression, smiled with a hint of embarrassment.
“Of course, Auntie. It wasn’t Christoph’s fault. It’s because I did something he might dislike. I’m sorry for causing you concern.”
“Oh, I see. Please get along well and don’t fight, no matter what.”
Though these were words unsuitable for men in their thirties, Bianca seemed genuinely worried. Facing her, Richard smiled reassuringly.
“Of course, Auntie.”
“Yes, alright. ……By the way……, I came because you called, but I hope [stolen content]I’m not interrupting your work?”
As she spoke worriedly, glancing at the papers scattered across the table, Richard shook his head and began tidying the table.
“Not at all. I was just about to take a short break. You’ve come to Tarten, and I haven’t been able to greet you properly. You invited me several times, but I’ve been so busy lately that I couldn’t visit. ……Ah. Shall we have some tea? You liked milk tea, didn’t you, Auntie?”
Richard readily stood up and brought over the tea set that had been on the side table near the entrance. Then, humming softly, he began to brew the tea himself.
Bianca looked at him with a face full of smiles, then stood up and went to his side, saying, “I’ll brew it for you.”
And Christoph sat quietly at the table. He sat motionless on the sofa, not even lifting his slightly pale face.
She was here. The mother he was meeting for the first time since arriving at Tarten, the woman who hadn’t even sent him a short greeting, was now talking with Richard behind Christoph’s back.
Christoph knew very well what this meant.
There was no other reason why Richard had specifically called her to this place.
It was to make it clear to Christoph that he held the upper hand. Furthermore, it was to mock him while watching Christoph when he was in the same space as her.
It had always been like that.
Richard did not like Bianca. In fact, he hated her.
Nevertheless, as he did with everyone, he treated Bianca with formal kindness, and this was even more pronounced when Christoph was present.
While engaging in a pleasant conversation with the mother who adored Richard—the one who would inherit Tarten—more than her own biological son, he would occasionally cast a glance at Christoph. A narrow gaze filled with a chilly smile.
And in those moments, Christoph would think.
Why is he allowed, but I am not?
He had thought only that while watching them. Just like now.
“By the way, are you two working here together? Do you usually work here?”
After a short while, Bianca, who had brought the teapot and cups on a tray and poured tea for each of them, suddenly looked around and asked Richard. While asking if they worked together, she cast a very brief glance at Christoph.
Richard smiled and shook his head.
“I rarely come here. Usually, I do the remaining work alone in my room, but today I called Christoph here so we could have tea with Aunt Bianca. Besides, Christoph has been helping me with my work recently, and he’s been a huge help.”
“Oh, really. I’m glad this child is of help to you.”
Bianca spoke happily. As if she were glad that, through her, some help was being provided to Richard.
“There must be a lot of work left. Seeing how many documents there are.”
“Ah. It’s not usually this much, but as you know, Auntie, the succession decision date is approaching, so it’s especially busy Read on Read BL Novelslately. It feels [unauthorized copy]like I’m taking one last succession candidate stolen contenttest to see who can handle the most work in the shortest amount of time.”
As Richard laughed, speaking as if it were a joke, Bianca laughed along but then turned serious.
“Who else could possibly inherit Tarten but you? The only person who can lead this family after the Elder is you, Richard.”
“Haha, thank you for saying so. But the others are all outstanding talents as well.”
Richard shrugged and spoke humbly. At that, Bianca shook her head even more vigorously.
“No, no, there is no one more outstanding than you. I’ve known that since you were very young. Only you, only you.”
Looking at Bianca, who was whispering with a serious face, Richard smiled shyly.
“I’m only able to move forward because many people are helping me.”
“That’s not true, Richard. It’s all because you are Read on Read BL Novelsoutstanding. ――Yes, but if [unauthorized copy]there is anything I can do to help, I will do anything. What wouldn’t I do for you? I’ll do whatever you want, my lovely Richard.”
Richard smiled at her benevolent words. After looking at her for a moment with that gentle and affectionate smile on his lips, Richard slowly turned his face toward Christoph. Toward the man who had remained in silence, not uttering a word, his face growing increasingly pale.
“Thank you for the offer, Aunt Bianca. But Christoph is helping me well enough. More than enough. ……Even covering your part, Auntie.”
The moment Richard’s low and soft words fell, Christoph’s shoulders flinched slightly. Richard watched throughout as Christoph’s complexion grew even more pallid.
“Perhaps because he resembles you, Auntie, I feel reassured being with Christoph, as if you yourself were helping me.”
At Richard’s affectionate addition, Bianca’s eyes widened in surprise. A light of joy bloomed like a flower on her face.
“Richard……! Lovely Richard, my Richard. To hear you say that, I cannot tell you how happy I am.”
Her voice trembled slightly as she whispered, shaking her head slowly as if truly moved. Then, she suddenly looked at Christoph.
Feeling her gaze, Christoph flinched [unauthorized copy]slightly [stolen content]and slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. After a brief pause, Bianca smiled.
Since entering this room—no, since coming to Tarten—this was the first time she had looked at Christoph first and smiled. Or perhaps, counting from long ago, even before he had to leave Tarten.
“Christoph. I was worried, but it seems you are helping Richard well. Thank you. Please continue to help Richard in the future.”
As if Richard were her own son and Christoph were his friend, she greeted Christoph and gave him a request.
“Richard is a very brilliant man, so there is no mistake if you do as he says. Please follow everything he says. Do you understand?”
Christoph did not answer her quiet and gentle voice. Or perhaps, he was unable to answer.
Looking down only at the table, Christoph’s lips moved slightly, but no sound was heard.
Then, Bianca, who had been waiting for Christoph’s answer, wiped the smile from her face in curiosity and tilted her head, leaning slightly toward Christoph.
As Bianca drew closer, Christoph froze [visit our site]to a degree that was hard to notice and shrank back just a little. She asked him again.
“You understand me, right, Christoph?”
To her, who confirmed once more as if nailing it down with a slightly sterner voice, Christoph, after a further silence, answered in a voice that was barely audible. Yes, Mother.
Upon hearing that answer, Bianca nodded with satisfaction. Then, she beamed with a soft expression that Christoph had never seen before.
Richard watched silently from the side with his usual calm smile as Christoph cast a pale glance at those smiling lips before dropping his gaze again.
Bianca seemed to want to stay a bit longer even after finishing her tea, but when Richard smiled regretfully and said he had too much work piled up, she readily stood up.
――Then, be careful not to harm your health and work hard. You, at least, must stay visit our sitehealthy, [Read on Read BL Novels]as this is a particularly important time. ……Come visit whenever you are free. Or you may call me. I will always come gladly.
Whispering to Richard in a voice full of worry and affection, she urged Christoph once more to help Richard well before leaving.
Until she left the drawing room and her presence completely vanished, neither of them said a word.
It was Richard who broke the silence first.
He slowly rose from his seat and approached Christoph from behind. He went behind the man who stood frozen facing the door, his pale gaze directed toward the bottom of the door, and spoke quietly, bringing his face close to his ear.
“This was the first time you’ve met since she arrived at Tarten, wasn’t it?”
“…….”
“She contacted me several times, asking me to come for tea. I thought of you too, so I called you here to have some together. ……How was it, sitting and talking with your beloved mother for the first time in a long while?”
Christoph said nothing.
In the exact same posture as when Bianca left, he remained standing as if he had just seen her off, staring blankly downward.
“Yes, Christoph. Wasn’t it nice to spend some harmonious time after so long?”
Richard whispered in an incredibly gentle voice. As he did, he slowly pressed his lips to Christoph’s earlobe. Those lips touched the earlobe lightly and then slowly slid down, carefully touching the nape of his neck.
The cold and ruthless demeanor he had before Bianca entered seemed to have vanished, replaced by affectionate and soft gestures.
Like a child who, after wielding cruel violence, feels their heart soften and offers warm comfort.
As if comforting a pitiful and miserable person.
That was how Richard kissed Christoph, as light as a feather. Those lips lingered longer and longer on Christoph’s skin.
Flinch. ……Flinch.
Every time Richard’s lips slid across his skin, Christoph trembled slightly and shrank back, yet he stood there quietly as if he had lost his soul.
Then, at some point.
“……Don’t touch me.”
Christoph whispered.
It was a low, faint voice, as if he were submerged in a dream. But it would certainly have been audible to Richard’s ears.
Richard paused for a moment, but soon continued to kiss Christoph’s shoulder, indifferent to the resistance. He slid slowly from the arm to the underarm, and down to the elbow.
They were cautious, gentle kisses. His warm lips were tender, as if trying to offer comfort.
But in that instant.
“Don’t touch me…!”
Christoph violently shook him off. He shoved Richard away with a powerful strike of his arm and turned to face him.
Those deep blue eyes were frozen, pale as glass. They looked so parched and dry that it seemed not a single drop of tear could escape. Within them, there was only a bluish flame. Instead of tears, that flame-like hatred erupted.
“I hate you, Richard Tarten. …I hate you! The very fact that a piece of shit like you exists in this world is so disgusting I can’t stand it!! Why you, why someone like you…!!”
Words like venom flowed from his pale lips.
With every word that burst forth, the expression on Richard’s face gradually vanished. Receiving Christoph’s hatred head-on, he didn’t even blink until his face became completely void of emotion.
Richard watched Christoph with an expressionless face as the other gasped for air, unable to finish his sentence as if overwhelmed by emotion. It was a face entirely different from the one he had worn moments ago while kissing Christoph’s skin.
A face devoid of any expression, merely silent and cold.
“You hate me so much that you cannot even stand the fact that I exist in this world…?”
He spoke quietly, as if talking to himself.
“Yes, there is no one I hate more than you. Nothing in this world is more horrific than you!”
Christoph cried out in a low, scream-like voice.
The gaze he cast upon Richard was tinged with a sickly blue. His pupils were slightly elevated and shaking, as if his reason were suffering a faint delirium.
Suddenly, Richard laughed. An expression abruptly appeared on that eerily perfect, blank face. It was his characteristic kind and gentle expression. And in a voice just as gentle, he whispered.
“Is that so? That’s convenient. I happened to find you absolutely horrific as well. Since we’re even, it works out perfectly. Wouldn’t you agree?”
Christoph did not answer.
Richard moved slowly. He sat in a chair and leaned back leisurely. Then, he looked at Christoph, who was standing frozen a short distance away, glaring at him. He maintained a constant smile.
At some point, he spoke in a low voice.
“Strip, Christoph.”
The moment those words fell, Christoph’s eyes narrowed like blades. Richard did not miss the way his gaze flickered toward the door.
The room was attached to the inner side of the drawing room.
In the drawing room outside, several people were sitting and talking. Occasional laughter pierced through the door, as if they were discussing something pleasant.
If the sounds from outside could be heard, the sounds from inside could also leak out.
The only thing between them was a single thin door.
“—You must be insane, Richard.”
“Far from it. I am perfectly sane. More so than ever.”
Richard waved his finger lightly. The cold smile lingering in his eyes was, exactly as he said, no different from his usual self.
Christoph glared at him, motionless for a long while.
“I won’t be the only one humiliated.”
“Aha… thank you for your concern. Now that we’re clear, strip.”
“…—.”
Christoph grit his teeth. A pale light of rage flickered across his expression.
Suddenly, he tore his clothes off violently.
From the jacket to the vest, the tie, and then the shirt—he stripped them off without hesitation and threw them to the floor as if slamming them down. Then his trousers, and finally his briefs.
Grit-toothed and without a moment’s hesitation, Christoph cast aside his garments and stood before him, not a single thread covering his body.
“Are you satisfied now, you lunatic?”
As Christoph whispered through clenched teeth, Richard rested his chin on his hand draped over the armrest and scanned him slowly, as if admiring a view. From head to toe, thoroughly, leaving no spot unchecked.
“Get up on the table and lean over.”
Richard gestured toward the table in a nonchalant tone.
Christoph stared blankly for a moment at the large, heavy round table—one so massive it would take [unauthorized copy]three or four grown men to move it.
“…You pervert… what do you get out of doing this…?”
“Ah, someone who isn’t a pervert wouldn’t understand. How delightful it is to admire the sight of someone shaking their hips while crying. …Especially if it’s someone they hate, it goes without saying.”
Richard spoke lightly, as if he were about to watch an enjoyable movie. Then, in a slightly lower, firm voice, he added:
“If you understand, get up there, kneel, and lean over.”
Christoph glared at Richard menacingly for a few seconds. Then, with a fierce expression, he whipped his head around and climbed onto the round table. Surrendering to his rage, he leaned over the table as instructed.
After watching Christoph for a while—who was barely suppressing his ragged breath fueled by humiliation and anger—Richard slowly rose from his chair.
Approaching Christoph’s side, he suddenly picked up the tie that had fallen right next to him. After stroking the soft material for a moment, he quickly tied Christoph’s wrists before he could resist.
“?! What are you doing!”
“Shh… if you scream like that, they’ll come running from outside.”
“…!!”
At Richard’s quiet warning, Christoph’s face stiffened.
Meanwhile, Richard tied the other end of the tie to the thick leg of the round table, securing it.
Christoph’s face contorted harshly. A faint light of anxiety and agitation emerged.
Even when he shook his wrists violently, the round table showed no sign of budging, nor did the tie seem likely to break.
“Richard… what the hell is this. Untie me…!”
Looking down at the low-voiced, shouting Christoph, Richard [stolen content]leaned in [Read on Read BL Novels]and stolen contentwhispered softly into his ear.
“Because if I didn’t do this, you would undoubtedly cast everything aside to resist.”
“What…?!”
As Christoph asked back in confusion, Richard suddenly laughed. Gently. But as cold and thin as a snake. Then, he suddenly turned toward the door and raised his voice.
“Ahim! Are you there?”
“…—!!”
He didn’t shout that loudly. However, he spoke with enough volume that the sound would have undoubtedly reached the drawing room beyond that door.
In that instant, the blood drained from Christoph’s face. He snapped his head up and looked at Richard with wide, horrified eyes.
“Uh, what’s going on?”
A voice answered from outside. The sound of someone approaching the door could be heard.
With a face that had turned pale in an instant, Christoph looked at Richard as if he couldn’t believe it.
Richard spoke calmly toward the outside.
“Who all is there right now?”
“Uh…? Me, Fritz, Sven, Wolf… Tim stepped out for a moment but he’ll be back soon. Why?”
The voice was now heard right outside the door.
The door was not locked. With just a slight twist of the knob, that door would open, and the scene inside this room would be fully visible.
If the person in the room were Richard, they wouldn’t fling the door [visit our site]open without his permission, but that door, [Read on Read BL Novels]without a single latch fastened, was hopelessly fragile.
Richard looked down for a moment at Christoph’s vacant face—pale and staring up at him in despair. The smile on his lips deepened slightly.
He slowly leaned in. Then, pressing his lips close to Christoph’s ear, he whispered.
“Now. Listen carefully, Christoph. Right now, next to you is me, who is more horrific than anything else in this world. And outside that door, there are four or five humans who are slightly less horrific. …Decide. Whether you will endure the one most horrific thing, or endure the four or five who are slightly less so.”
“…—!!”
Christoph grit his teeth. His bloodless lips turned white, pressed against his teeth.
His body trembled. Intense shame, anger, and anxiety were shaking him. The trembling gradually grew more violent.
Richard? —A voice calling Richard’s name in confusion was heard from outside.
Decide. —Richard’s voice whispered in his ear.
“…”
Christoph opened his trembling lips. Even the root of his tongue shook.
His lips eventually moved to say something, but the sound was not audible.
“What was that?”
Richard asked softly. The moment that gentle sound brushed warmly against his ear, Christoph lifted his head. His pale, lifeless eyes looked straight at Richard.
Christoph opened his mouth. And despite his trembling voice, he spoke clearly.
“I’d rather have them than someone like you…!”
When those words left Christoph’s mouth, the smile on Richard’s face faded slightly.
Christoph glared silently at Richard, who was looking down at him. He was biting his bluish, trembling lips hard, as if forcing himself to endure.
Richard, who had been pressing his lips to Christoph’s ear, finally straightened up. He looked down at Christoph coldly.
“You’d rather do it with four or five people than with me…? In that case.”
Richard glanced toward the door. Then he raised his voice.
“Ahim!”
In that moment, Christoph’s shoulders hunched. His trembling shoulders jerked, stopped, and then shook even more violently. From outside, a confused voice asked back, “Yeah, I’m here. Should I come in?”
Christoph let his head hang limply over the table. His head throbbed. A terrible ringing echoed in his ears.
Then.
“It’s nothing. Carry on with what you were doing.”
Richard spoke.
The moment that sound reached his ear, Christoph flinched and opened his eyes. He slowly lifted his head and looked at Richard in confusion again.
Though they seemed puzzled, the presence outside the door complied with a simple “Uh, okay,” and retreated. Richard then loosened his tie slightly.
“…?”
“If you hate doing it with me more, then I should rightfully do so. Because I have no intention of listening to you in the direction you desire.”
Christoph stared blankly at Richard, who had undone the top button of his shirt. For a fleeting moment, a sense of relief flashed across his blue eyes. But that relief vanished as soon as Richard lowered the zipper of his trousers.
“Christoph. I will never grant you what you [visit our site]wish [visit our site]for. You’d best keep that in mind.”
It was a voice mixed with a clear anger that anyone could recognize.
Without any warning.
He gasped as the member pushed roughly into his body.
As it forced its way open through the narrow entrance that hadn’t been prepared in the slightest, cold sweat already broke out on his back even though it had only entered about halfway.
“What’s wrong, Christoph? You spoke so nonchalantly about rather dealing with four or five people, yet your body is this stiff—how did you intend to handle them?”
Richard whispered low from behind unauthorized copyhim, accompanied by ragged breathing. Simultaneously, [visit our site]he thrust his hips forward hard.
“…!!”
Christoph bit his tongue. If he didn’t, it felt as though the sound would leak out even though he was already covering his mouth with the back of his hand.
He could let out no moan, no scream, not even a shout.
Aside from the sound of labored breathing, the slapping of flesh, and the occasional whisper from Richard, it was quiet. That was why the sounds from outside came in clearly.
Outside that door, several young men were still sitting and talking. Completely unaware of what was happening inside, they were chatting and giggling among themselves.
If any strange noise came from inside, they might find it odd and perhaps open the door.
“Christoph. …Christoph.”
Suddenly, Richard called Christoph’s name with a laugh. His voice, [Read on Read BL Novels]which sounded both happy and [visit our site]amused, continued after a sigh.
“You really are naturally gifted. And you claim to have a touch aversion? No, is it because you’re so sensitive? —Look, look at how your thing is shaking.”
Richard reached around to the front and gripped Christoph’s groin. The pale piece of flesh held in his hand was, as he said, slightly erect and shaking little by little.
Christoph, who hadn’t realized that fact until then, muttered “No way” under his breath and looked down. However, before he could verify Richard’s words, he turned his head away.
Because he saw his pale penis being gripped and shaken by Richard’s hand. Moreover, even without seeing it, he could feel the sensation in his lower body the moment Richard’s fingers pressed near the base.
“With a body that can’t even live without a man, how have you endured until now, hm?”
“…T-that’s, not…”
“Is it not? Then is this thing standing up and shaking not yours? Is it not your hole that’s wriggling, begging me to push deeper?”
Christoph’s head grew hot.
The vulgar and blunt words Richard whispered felt as if they were directly slandering and scolding him.
Richard’s other hand had been kneading his chest for a while. Rather than stroking it, he kneaded it roughly, as if dealing with a woman’s breast. Every time he did, he pinched the small piece of flesh in the center, forcing Christoph to barely swallow the moans rising to his throat.
While rubbing the already stiff and enlarged nipple as if pinching it, Richard suddenly spoke suggestively, as if a thought had occurred to him.
“Do you know that if you inject a very small amount of drugs here every day and rub it diligently for a few weeks, it can easily grow to the size of a finger joint? Though it would make it difficult to show it to anyone for the rest of your life.”
The finger pulling the protrusion felt as if it were saying something. Christoph’s mind froze as if he had been doused in cold water.
For a moment, forgetting the pain, the gasping, and the shame, he looked at Richard with a vacant face.
“If a perfect sculpture from head to toe had only this part be exceptionally large, it would look incredibly lewd. It would suit you very well.”
“…D-don’t, do that…”
Unintentionally, a frightened voice leaked out.
This man is crazy. This man, who always smiles kindly, has something wrong with his head. That meant he truly didn’t know what he was capable of.
He had thought it wouldn’t matter what the man did—whether he hacked him with a knife, shattered his bones with a hammer, or put holes in his body with a gun—but suddenly, a chill ran down his spine.
Looking at Christoph’s pale face, Richard clicked his tongue while still smiling.
“Christoph. I told you I would never grant you what you wish for. Have you forgotten?”
Christoph fell silent. He looked at Richard, who was gripping his chest hard enough to be painful, with trembling eyes. Then, at some point, he opened his mouth. A voice so trembling it was barely audible leaked out like a small gust of wind.
“T-then, …do, …that, …”
Unable to finish the sentence, Christoph dropped his head with a [visit our site]pale face. Beside him, Richard remained silent for a [stolen content]moment and then suddenly burst into laughter.
Extremely cheerfully. Loud enough to be heard outside.
The sounds from outside ceased for a moment.
“Christoph, ahaha, it was a joke. There are only a few days left anyway, so that wouldn’t be enough time. …Though I would have tried it if there had been enough time.”
Richard spoke to Christoph while laughing joyfully.
Christoph grit his teeth, still pale. Into his ear, Richard whispered.
“But from now on, it’s for real.”
With those words, he began to move his hips.
Hard, violently, forcefully he pushed in. The [Read on Read BL Novels]sound of flesh [stolen content]colliding sounded like a relentless, rhythmic slapping.
“…! …!!”
Christoph, barely swallowing his moans, bit the back of his hand. Reminding himself over and over that he must not make a sound.
Before he knew it, Richard’s member had filled him up completely. Yet, as if trying to dig deeper and deeper, he continued to collide roughly, making it feel as if his internal organs were being pushed upward.
“Ugh, …, …ugh…—!!”
Even though he bit the flesh of his hand so hard it became ragged, a cry like that of a young animal eventually leaked from his mouth.
It’s okay, it’s okay, this much won’t be heard. But still, I mustn’t make a sound.
Christoph grew anxious. So this time, he pressed his palm firmly against his mouth.
But then, a large hand reached over his shoulder and gripped Christoph’s wrist, pulling Read on Read BL Novelsit aside. With nothing left to block him, [visit our site]a thin moan [visit our site]escaped his lips, and Christoph trembled, trying to shake off the hand. It was futile.
“I like the sound of moaning. Especially the sound of someone sobbing and shaking because they can’t endure it—that’s my favorite. Why don’t you cry like that, too? Just to give the bastards outside a special treat.”
“……!!”
Christoph shook his head. His eyes grew hot.
“Right, then try your best to hold it in.”
Richard spoke curtly. Then, he began to thrust his hips in even more violently.
His insides screamed. That heavy object, stabbing into every corner of his depths, was creating an unbearable sensation.
No matter how hard he struggled to endure, sounds continued to leak through Christoph’s lips. Those sounds, thin as a breeze, grew slightly louder whenever Richard slowly traced down Christoph’s body, attempting to pry him open further.
It was unbearable. He trembled violently from the chills. Even now, from the mouth where barely suppressed moans were leaking out, it felt as if a sob that could be heard all [Read on Read BL Novels]the [Read on Read BL Novels]way outside would burst forth if he let his guard down for even a moment.
His body was hot and throbbing. The space between his legs was already drenched.
“Ah……!!”
The moment Richard gripped Christoph’s genitals tightly and touched a certain spot inside, Christoph finally let out a sharp, albeit low, cry.
As if the sound had leaked outside, the boisterous noise from outdoors subsided for a moment.
His heart turned cold. His body shook. Christoph felt a surge of heat, and with eyes that quickly blurred, he stared intently at the floor. He struggled to stifle the sound, biting his fingers.
But it felt like he couldn’t take it anymore.
He felt that his moans, his sobbing cries, and his gasping breaths would eventually be heard outside.
Christoph barely managed to open his mouth. After remaining silent for a long time [unauthorized copy]even visit our siteafter opening it, he finally whispered in a voice mixed with tears.
“Riha, rdt, please, ……just a little, softer, …….”
Looking down at Christoph, who finally knelt in humiliation and shame, Richard smiled slowly.
Smiling tenderly as if he were utterly lovely, Richard pressed his lips to Christoph’s ear and whispered as if singing a low song.
“I believe I told you. I will never grant you what you desire.”
“…―!”
With that, he thrust his hips up violently again. Hngh, Christoph barely swallowed the moan that escaped like a scream.
His wide, startled eyes stared only at his own hands. Even then, he struggled to hold his breath, tears streaming down his face.
“But looking at you earlier, you Read on Read BL Novelsseemed to know surprisingly [visit our site]well, Christoph. How you should speak.”
Again, a soft voice whispered in his ear.
Christoph looked at him in confusion, repeating those words in his cluttered mind. Earlier……, earlier……?
Suddenly, a memory resurfaced. Christoph stiffened instinctively and clenched his fists. The blood seemed to drain from his head, but soon the heat surged back up. It felt as if a fire had ignited from the nape of his neck.
He parted his trembling lips, but unable to speak, he closed his mouth again. Watching him, Richard gripped Christoph’s waist firmly as if it didn’t matter. Then, spreading his buttocks further, he drove his hips in between.
Mercilessly rough, severely.
“……! Ah, ……eu, ……ha, ah……!!”
At the feeling of being ruthlessly gouged and ransacked inside, a voice that didn’t feel like his own began to burst from his mouth again. No matter how he tried to cover his mouth, Richard held his wrists from behind and wouldn’t let go.
“Plea, ……se……!”
Eventually, Christoph opened his mouth in a scream.
Drip, drip, tears fell onto the table. Rubbing his blurred eyes against his arm, Christoph spoke in broken fragments, sobbing quietly.
“A bit, more……, a bit harder……, do it more roughly, please……!”
However, the response to Christoph’s sobbing plea was a slow answer following a brief silence.
“What was that? It’s hard to understand when you speak while sobbing like that. Speak clearly so I can understand, Christoph. I can’t know what you want me to do unless you say it properly.”
“…―.”
Christoph swallowed a beast-like moan.
His eyes were hot. It was because the ceaseless flow of tears was heating them stolen contentup. But his forehead, cheeks, ears, neck, and body were so [Read on Read BL Novels]hot that he couldn’t even feel the heat in his eyes.
“Do it, harder……, inside…… your thing, ……put it in harder, deeper, me, ……my, my insides, stir them more roughly……!”
The last words were mixed with sobbing. The tears heating his eyes red created a small puddle beneath his face.
Behind Christoph, who had buried his face in his arm, Richard laughed. After laughing softly for a while as if delighted, he suddenly bit Christoph’s earlobe hard. A short moan burst out.
“Well said, Christoph. To speak so obediently, I should give you a reward. ……Fine, I’ll do as you wish. Yes, while I’m at it, shall I help you hold back your sounds better?”
The voice whispered tenderly, laced with laughter. The moment those words ended, Richard grabbed Christoph’s chin, turned him, and pressed his lips against his. Occupying Christoph’s mouth as if to swallow him whole, he began to move his hips. Simultaneously, Christoph opened his eyes wide and stopped breathing.
As if everything until now had been a mere prank, a sensation of violently pounding his stomach poured over him like a flood.
* * *
Like a broken doll.
That was how Christoph lay upon the round table.
Lacking the strength to move a single finger, he lay sprawled on his side.
His white, naked body strewn about made him look exactly like a doll. A fine and beautiful doll, crafted with exquisite and meticulous care.
If not for the hazy blue eyes that blinked occasionally, one might truly believe he was a doll.
His white naked body was completely soiled.
From his earlobes to his neck, chest, and thighs—small, unauthorized copyugly reddish-purple bruises remained in every corner of his body, faint [Read on Read BL Novels]handprints where he had been gripped tightly, and sticky, whitish fluids drenched from his lower abdomen to his thighs.
Then, Richard emerged from the bathroom attached to the inner part of the room.
Dressed neatly enough to go straight to a banquet, providing a stark contrast to Christoph, he gazed blankly at Christoph’s back as he lay powerless on the round table before approaching.
“……. Spread your legs.”
He held a hot towel in his hand.
However, Christoph did not budge, as if he hadn’t heard him. Perhaps he was awake but had lost his mind.
Richard snorted. Then, he laid Christoph flat on his back and spread his legs.
The moment the hot towel touched the inside, his thighs twitched, but he did not avoid or shake off the hand. Richard silently wiped every corner of the inner thighs that had been powerlessly spread open and exposed.
Only after going back and forth to the bathroom three, four times to [stolen content]rinse the towel [unauthorized copy]was Christoph’s body finally clean.
Except for the bruises and handprints that wouldn’t fade for several days, his body had returned to its original white and clean state.
“What are your intentions…….”
Suddenly, Christoph whispered in a low, hushed voice. Richard did not answer those words, which sounded like a lament. As if he hadn’t expected an answer, Christoph did not ask again.
A long silence followed.
Christoph remained lying there like a doll, and Richard stood beside him with arms crossed, looking down at him with cold eyes. Suddenly, Richard absentmindedly toyed with a few strands of Christoph’s hair. Then, he let go.
At that moment, Christoph’s shoulders seemed to tremble slightly.
Slowly curling his body until he was almost prone, he buried his face in his arms.
“Me……, how far will you…….”
His voice trembled, just like his shrinking shoulders.
His body did not stop shaking for a long time. The arms covering his face remained damp and would not dry.
Richard, who had been gazing down at Christoph in silence, reached out quietly as the trembling of the shoulders began to subside. He cupped Christoph’s cheek with his palm from behind. The trembling was transmitted to his palm.
Richard leaned down.
He quietly kissed Christoph’s exposed ear. The ear flinched. His lips slowly traveled down to the neck, the shoulder, and the back, following the ridge drawn by the white skin. The body flinched wherever those lips touched.
Slowly and persistently, Richard kissed every inch of Christoph’s body, then quietly took the hand that had been covering his face and lifted it.
Reflexively, Christoph applied strength for a moment to avoid having his arm taken, but soon resigned himself and surrendered it.
Pressing his wet face against the round table, [Read on Read BL Novels]he watched as Richard [stolen content]pressed his lips one by one to his stolen contentshoulder, arm, and fingertips.
The lips, touching and lifting lightly as if smelling the scent of a flower, were ticklish, making his hand shrink. However, he did not shake the hand away.
Finally, Richard lowered his head over Christoph’s face.
He seemed to press his lips to the wet corners of Christoph’s eyes, who was merely blinking, and then licked away the moisture. After slowly licking the drenched cheeks, he finally licked the lips. He seemed to pull his face away for a moment, then licked the lips once more.
Richard quietly embraced Christoph from behind, whose shoulders were twitching at the ticklish and unfamiliar sensation.
He remained still, unmoving, for some time.
And Christoph, embraced from behind, stiffened his body and held his breath. His body tensed instinctively.
Then, suddenly, a low laugh was heard from behind. Along with that chilly laugh, which sounded somewhat self-deprecating, Richard spoke mockingly.
“Surely, in the minds of some people in this world, this [Read on Read BL Novels]kind of act is perceived as something lovers do. ……Isn’t it ridiculous? That an act some would see as ‘making love’ is taking place between you and me.”
Having finished speaking, Richard tightened his grip on the arms embracing Christoph.
Christoph flinched faintly and tensed his body. However, he only glanced with anxious and puzzled eyes at the arms that were quietly but firmly embracing his shoulders and waist; he did not try to push them away.
Even as the low, quiet sound of breathing from behind tickled the nape of his neck rhythmically, he did not look back.
[Continued in Volume 5]
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