2.9 Forgive-Me-Not(1)

Upon returning to the past, the place Mikhail headed for was predetermined. Because he had burst in abruptly, like a man who had lost his mind, he felt he had no excuse if he were scolded for arriving so suddenly without notice. He thought the Duke might even wave him away, telling him he was a nuisance and to leave immediately. He had resolved that if the man were already asleep, he would simply glimpse his face for a moment and then depart.

“Misha…?”

Sensing his presence, the Duke opened his eyes immediately and called for him. Mikhail could not bring himself not to answer that call. Though years had passed since he had heard the man’s final voice, the sound was so vivid, as if heard only yesterday, that he found himself speechless. Yet, he had to answer. For there had never been a single moment where he was not ‘your Misha’ for him.

“Yes, it’s me. I am your Misha.”

In the darkness, the Duke reached out and felt Misha’s face. At the touch of the Duke’s hand, which felt colder than most, Mikhail trembled like a sinner receiving baptism. The moment Hyeon’s fingers brushed against Mikhail’s lips, Mikhail instinctively grabbed Hyeon’s wrist.

“I’m sorry for visiting so late at night. But I couldn’t bear it without seeing you right now….”

It was difficult to maintain his sanity with the man living and breathing right before him. The one who had slept inside a glass coffin for all those long years was now moving, speaking, and looking at Mikhail. It was a sight he had barely been able to see in his dreams for a very long time.

“I won’t do anything reckless; just a little while will do….”

Unable to endure it any longer, Mikhail finally pulled him into an embrace and closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the arm draped over his shoulder. This was enough of a reward for him. However, a thirst continued to bloom. There were less than three years left until the day of the Red Lunar Eclipse. There were too many things to be done. There was only one safe way to return to him the portion that his ancestors had stolen. To ensure that the right of succession to the Imperial throne passed to one who possessed the blood of Transis, without opposition from the Council of Elders or the high nobility.

It was said that Alphas and Omegas were born with essentially the same nature. That which trait manifested was not innate, but determined by one’s own life. This was something he had stumbled upon while scouring all sorts of ancient texts. Of course, it was a passage open to interpretation, but what followed was the important part. The theory suggested that when pheromone production stopped at an extreme level due to internal medical reasons, it was possible to temporarily change one’s trait by taking medicine that slowed or stopped growth. This interpretation derived from a legend of a couple who, desperate for a child, prayed fervently at a temple for a thousand days and eventually conceived after receiving a revelation and taking a medicine. Apparently, it was because one partner had a naturally weak constitution and had become so frail from the fervent prayers that their pheromones decreased. In this day and age, it was a story that would be treated as a joke, questioned as to whether such a thing were even possible.

Even if it was such an absurd story, it was well worth attempting. With three years, the time was too tight, especially since he Read on Read BL Novelshad [stolen content]not yet ascended to the Crown Prince’s Position. Even if he gathered the scattered subordinates of Transis within that time and secretly supported a rebellion while stolen contentposing as an anonymous benefactor, the allotted time would end before the civil war could be settled. In the first place, the Duke would not be willing to step forward in such a manner, and the risk was too great when looking toward the future.

In this life, the one to end their own life should be himself, not the Duke. If a child were born between them, that child would be a descendant of Transis and simultaneously born with a legitimate right to the Imperial throne. If the child entered the world safely and he died, the throne would return to the child. In that case, the one to sit in the seat of the ruler as Regent would be the Duke. Since he was a kind and responsible person, he would survive for the sake of the child, and that would be enough.

Though it was utterly disloyal to the Goddess who had given him this chance, he had no intention of seeking forgiveness. In his previous life, Mikhail had possessed him but failed to protect him. Therefore, this time, it was his turn to protect him instead of possessing him. Even if only to take revenge on the man who had died of his own volition, the Duke would survive tenaciously and rule the Empire. After all, the most perfect revenge is to trample upon what that person treasures most. The nobles of Osbrant would shudder with rage that the loser they once mocked and ridiculed so much now reigned as the Regent Marquis, but they would be unable to rebel against a legitimately inherited throne. Breaking the legs of any family capable of threatening the new Imperial Family would be his final mission.

Thus, even in this life, his portion was to be despised and resented by the Duke. Mikhail soon tidied his place and stood up. First, he had to ascend to the Crown Prince’s Position and find people to serve as his hands and feet in place of Marcel. He already knew intimately what everyone wanted from his time ruling upon the throne. The order of what he needed to do immediately became clear.

For the plan to proceed as Mikhail hoped, there was one more essential condition. Even if one entered a state where the trait could be easily changed temporarily, there was a prerequisite that must be met to be practically influenced by another’s pheromones. One must be in a state of very close emotional synchronization with the other.

The reason this method had been dismissed as nonsense until now was not for any special reason. First, people of the same trait were mostly not instinctively attracted to one another, and even if such a peculiar event occurred, it was rare for pheromones to drop to a concentration close to a Beta due to the body itself rather than external factors like drugs or pheromone showers. There were more than a few reasons why anyone attempting an experiment would have found it impossible.

The same applied to Mikhail. If the man ultimately did not love him, the entire plan would vanish like a bubble. If that happened, he would have no choice but to try another method. He couldn’t simply waste the opportunity by doing nothing.

Among those various plans, the premise of Mikhail surviving did not exist. For only through his death would his atonement be complete.

When he finally learned that a change had occurred in the Duke’s body, Mikhail murmured like a broken doll.

“You love me, you….”

To that utterly foolish confession, the Duke replied.

“I do love you, of course….”

The body, changed to conceive the child of the one he loved, reacted sensitively to Mikhail’s every movement, urging him to pour his desire inside. Only when the rut, which had lasted for several days, ended and the knotting released could Mikhail finally feel at peace. Because this child would protect the Duke and allow him to live his life even without Mikhail. Because this child would hold this lonely man so that he would not give up on life.

Closing and opening his eyes as if he had dozed off for a moment, Mikhail found himself still alone in his office. He had thought he could stay alone all day and then return to his bedchamber. It seemed that hoping for a quiet passage of time was a vain hope. Mikhail put down his pen, thinking that if he were to have a night visitor, he would prefer a bug or a field mouse.

“Haa….”

The moment Mikhail attempted to rise from his seat with a long sigh, a sharply honed dagger flew from the direction of the door leading outside, passing by Mikhail’s ear and embedding itself into the darkness.

“Kugh…!”

From the direction the dagger had flown, someone let out a pained sound, stifling a groan, before disappearing along with the cruel noise of a blade slicing and gouging through flesh. At the response, which was faster than expected, Mikhail’s eyebrows flicked upward briefly before returning to their place.

“Keuh-hek, khek…. Krrrgh….”

And then, emerging leisurely from the darkness, was the man who Mikhail thought had disappeared after taking a bite of an apple.

“Weren’t you going to rest?”

When Mikhail asked with a face that showed no surprise, the man shrugged and laughed.

“Yeah, I was going to rest, but I just couldn’t put my mind at ease. I thought, ‘How can visit our sitea man who has so much to [unauthorized copy]receive be idling around while our benefactor is working his fingers to the bone?’”

At the man’s casual answer, Mikhail put the remaining documents and seals on the desk into a drawer and locked it with a key, saying,

“I hope you continue to strive in the future. Not a single mistake will be tolerated in Terlin.”

Not many people in the Imperial Palace knew of the Duke’s pregnancy, but it was too naive to think that secret would be kept for long. What kind of person was the current Empress? She was a woman who, in order to make her son the sole heir, had blocked the Emperor’s expeditions (though she failed twice) and had secretly fed him contraceptives for decades. Edwin may have already been stripped of all his rights as a member of the Imperial Family, but she might think it is too early to give up. In any case, if the current Osbrant Imperial Family failed to produce an heir and Crown Prince Mikhail died, the family closest to the Imperial Family would still be the Empress’s family, the House of Onegin. If the Osbrant line were severed, there was a possibility that the Empress would claim legitimacy and bribe the Council of Elders to promote the House of Onegin as the new Imperial Family. For that to happen, there was an essential prerequisite.

Crown Prince Mikhail Ivan Osbrant must have no heir. Therefore, the moment the news reached the Empress’s ears that the Duke—the Lord of Quilan and the one called the Ruler of the Bitter Cold, who had once wielded power that threatened the Imperial Family despite his house being destroyed—was carrying the Crown Prince’s child, there was no way she would leave the Duke alone. She would either try to force a miscarriage or eliminate the Duke entirely. There was a reason why Mikhail had assigned the man he had previously hired to find and dispose of the rats hiding in the Imperial Palace—before he turned back time—to serve as a guard this time.

Since the man himself had extensive experience infiltrating the darkness to eliminate the arch-enemies of high-ranking officials, he knew better than anyone where the gaps in security lay.

“After working so hard, I only get reprimanded. My lot in life is truly pitiful.”

Mikhail didn’t even respond to the man’s exaggerated whining and stood up from his seat.

“What about that?”

“Handle it yourself. By the time morning breaks, it must be as if nothing ever happened.”

Then, he left the office nonchalantly, leaving the man alone, who clicked his tongue in disbelief.

“Seriously, that guy is not sane.”

He couldn’t imagine how someone who didn’t seem to have faced any great adversity or trials in life had become so dry, old-soul-like, and prickly. Though, getting an Alpha pregnant in the first place didn’t seem like something a sane person would do.

The man had seen the Crown Prince from a distance before. Before he became the Crown Prince, back when he was a fledgling Imperial Prince, the young Mikhail, standing blankly at an Imperial Family event like an uninvited guest, had been young and innocent. He too must have survived by rolling through a mire different from the man’s own, but perhaps it was thanks to his sturdy constitution. He was the type to view many of the world’s troubles as mere scraped wounds, never suffering deep scars. The man had left with the impression that ‘life is less harsh when you’re bright-headed.’ The current Crown Prince, if you covered his face, didn’t look like the same person as that Imperial Prince.

‘Well, as long as I get what I’m owed, it’s fine.’

As the man hummed a tune and shouldered the coldly chilled corpse to dispose of it, the moon high in the sky was exceptionally bright. As if the Goddess were watching everything that happened.

On the morning of the day he finally departed for the Imperial Palace, Hyeon’s stomach felt uneasy, as if he were constantly motion-sick. Even the smell of the rice porridge he had been eating well now made him nauseous and turned his stomach. Not only the smell of food, but even the strong scent of herbs or flowers felt disgusting. The moment he realized that this uncomfortable sensation was morning sickness, Hyeon ended up vomiting everything, despite having eaten nothing.

“Are you truly alright, Your Highness? Perhaps we should send an urgent message to postpone the date….”

The followers, unaware of Hyeon’s pregnancy, thought his health had deteriorated rapidly and were anxious over whether they should take the Duke to the Imperial Palace immediately or postpone the day. Hyeon struggled to calm the elderly couple first.

“I am fine, so please depart quickly.”

If it was something that had to be dealt with anyway, it was better to strike while the iron was hot rather than delay it further. Lingering here would only pose a threat to the child. Since he had already decided to give birth, it was easier to process the tasks at hand like a machine. He could convince himself that doing so was the rational choice. As Hyeon let out a long sigh and closed his eyes, his twisted stomach calmed slightly. Still, a sense of discomfort remained, and he hoped he wouldn’t end up vomiting in front of Misha.

As Hyeon took a deep breath, the hood draped long over his face fluttered slightly. Was it a magic tool that erased one’s presence and kept one from being noticed by others? He was told it was an item provided by the Crown Prince’s side so that the Duke, whose identity would be revealed the moment his face was exposed, could enter the Crown Prince’s Palace without causing a commotion.

‘Is an unofficial visit really possible?’

When he first received the message from his followers asking him to visit the Crown Prince at the appointed time, Hyeon doubted his own ears even after hearing it clearly. I mean, it’s not like they were asking for a meeting in a secret location, but to come to the palace? It’s not like he’s protesting by openly telling the Empress or the Emperor that he’s come, so what is this? Then, an unexpected answer came from Elder Statesman Noh.

‘On the contrary, this should be seen as a good opportunity to check not only the Crown Prince’s Palace but the overall situation of the Imperial Family. In any case, those people will not be able to treat Your Highness carelessly. For the current Imperial Family, who are short on hands, you are carrying the baby who will become the sole Imperial Grandson.’

The thing is, such expressions were so cringeworthy and embarrassing that he wanted to hide anywhere. Since speaking his mind would only make him look foolish, Hyeon quietly kept his mouth shut.

During a brief silence, the carriage arrived near the gate, and the monk sitting in the driver’s seat took out the forged identification he had prepared for this day. There were many things that were puzzling in various ways. The fact that everything seemed prepared as if they had been waiting the moment Hyeon asked Elder Statesman Noh to help him notify the Crown Prince that he would give birth, and the fact that Elder Statesman Noh’s attitude toward the Crown Prince was not as hostile as before, despite the situation of carrying the child of an enemy. He didn’t think it was simply because he was a midwife that the man showed such a soft attitude.

‘Is it really not dangerous to go to the Crown Prince’s Palace?’

When Hyeon mentioned that this felt suspicious and suggested meeting at a third location instead, the statesman shook his head, saying there was no need. He claimed that he had planted a subordinate who supported the restoration of Quilan in the Crown Prince’s Palace, so there was no need to worry. It was incredibly suspicious, but since Elder Statesman Noh—who had supported the Grand Duke, the villain until the very end in the original story—was so confident that the person could be trusted, there was nothing more to say. If that proud and fulfilled expression were an act, it would mean that all the worrying he had done for Hyeon until now was also a lie, and it didn’t look that way at all.

Although he was in a position of having been betrayed by Misha, whom he had believed could never lie, there was no other way even if he didn’t trust the situation. In this relationship, which couldn’t even be called a negotiation, he was clearly the subordinate. Far from exercising any power, he was in a position where he had to beg for his life.

In the original story, there were indeed followers of Transis remaining within the Imperial Palace. Most of them were nobles who had been pushed aside by the Empress’s faction. In any case, although the Grand Duke of the original story failed in his second rebellion, it was entirely thanks to them that he was even able to attempt it. Was the intention to keep him alive so that the revival of Transis could be planned later? Though it wasn’t what he wanted, walking into the center of the storm felt exactly like being dragged to a slaughterhouse. Though the destination was the complete opposite.

If he received the pardon for the curse and gave birth to the child, he could never go back to how things were before. To take responsibility for bringing the child into the world, he would have to stay by the child’s side at least until the child could think for themselves. If asked if he was determined to go through that entire process, he wasn’t sure he could answer confidently. However, the thought of the child withering away without him ever getting to hold those small hands was more unbearable than that. For once, Hyeon chose the lesser of two evils rather than the best option.

“A delivery carriage heading to the Crown Prince’s Palace. I have verified the gate usage permit records.”

Unlike high-ranking nobles or government officials, who could use the gate simply by paying the fee without separate identification, commoners had to undergo an identity verification process at unauthorized copythe gate to confirm they had prior permission. It was almost laughable that, despite his worries that he might be caught right here, the party passed through the gate with ease. He had boasted so confidently that nothing would go wrong; it seemed he hadn’t been bluffing. Finally arriving at the Crown Prince’s unauthorized copyPalace in less than half a day, Hyeon felt his heart tighten at the realization that the moment to meet Misha again was drawing near. Soon, this stinging pain would become a thing of the past. Hyeon quickly shook his head as the image of Misha’s expression—the one he wore while nursing him as he grew accustomed to this dull ache—kept flickering through his mind.

Had all of that been an act too? A price paid to eventually humiliate him after once threatening him with his own life? But if that were the only purpose, the time Misha had spent being obedient to him was far too long. He couldn’t believe that in all the years he had known Misha, there hadn’t been a single moment of sincerity. When he closed his eyes, he was tormented by memories of moments so tender they now felt poisonous.

He hated imagining how that ‘Misha’ would have reacted to the news that he was carrying his child. It was just a hypothetical, so he told himself to cast aside such cursed thoughts. Misha would have probably wailed, asking if something was wrong. If Hyeon had snapped back in a feigned anger, asking if he thought he was the kind of person who slept with multiple men, Misha would have turned bright red, flustered and insisting that wasn’t what he meant. He would have complained, asking if it had been easy for him to accept, and eventually, they would have laughed. At the end of that brief fantasy, Hyeon opened his eyes, picturing Misha fussing and pressing his ear against Hyeon’s lower abdomen.

Since his attempt to simply die and leave everything buried in confusion had failed, the dilemma of how to accept the Crown Prince—rather than Misha—resurfaced. I hate you. If he were to summarize his honest feelings, it was that simple. He felt resentful. What on earth was the man thinking when he orchestrated this? How did he manage to make Hyeon the only fool who knew nothing of it? Even though Hyeon had repeatedly refused to even speak of it, claiming he hated assuming the impossible, he was furious that his will had not been the priority. At the same time, he didn’t want to believe it. He hoped the man hadn’t done this solely to mock him. But he feared that the moment his expectations were betrayed, the last wish—that he wouldn’t be betrayed by this one person—would be torn to shreds, leaving him with no hope at all. Thus, Hyeon chose suspicion over expectation.

“We have arrived.”

Before he knew it, the carriage had passed through the gate and reached the Crown Prince’s Palace. Despite the reputation that the scenery of the pond was breathtakingly beautiful, the damnly splendid palace had nothing around it but small drainage ditches where water trickled along. What? Didn’t they say the pond was as wide as a lake? As Hyeon doubted his eyes at the desolate and bleak landscape, one of his followers explained.

“Come to think of it, I heard the Crown Prince recently turned the garden into a wasteland. He ordered all the water to be drained, and the laborers suffered quite a bit because of it.”

Is he crazy? Why drain a perfectly good pond? Hyeon suddenly recalled a news story about a politician who had been disgraced after obsessing over feng shui and superstitions, claiming that cutting down mountains and leveling land would ensure his election. Was this some similar kind of shamanistic act? To block some kind of flow in the water? No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t imagine why someone would destroy a landscape famous for its beauty.

‘Or maybe he was bitten by a wild animal or a monster and has gone rabid…‘

The absurd thought flashed through his mind, and Hyeon bowed his head as a surge of nausea hit him again. Damn it. It had been quiet while he was in the carriage. The moment he stepped out, his stomach flipped, and Hyeon stood leaning against a wall, his face turning pale.

“Are you alright? If you need help, I can support—”

Just as one of the followers tried to move closer to visit our siteHyeon’s left, the back door of the Crown Prince’s Palace creaked open, and a tall, handsome man with a cold visit our siteimpression stepped out, as if he had been waiting.

“I have been expecting you.”

He smiled brightly, as if he had encountered an interesting spectacle. With his healthily tanned skin, lightly curly hair, and flexibly arched dark eyebrows, he gave off a strangely sly and despicable vibe—an unpleasant man.

“Please come inside. His Highness the Crown Prince is waiting.”

As the followers attempted to follow Hyeon inside, the man quickly stepped between them and Hyeon.

“Wait. Only the Archduke was invited; you lot were not. It won’t take long, so you can wait here.”

He smiled with his sharp, handsome face, and Hyeon suddenly felt a chill run down his spine. He had felt that something was off. As expected, was this a trap with some hidden agenda? But there was no turning back now. Even if he turned and ran, he was already inside the walls of the Crown Prince’s Palace. Once he had passed through the gates, there was no way out. He was a rat in a trap. Even if the only conclusion to be found by moving forward was death, he could not retreat.

“But His Highness is unwell! How can you let him enter alone!”

When Elder Statesman Noh protested as if such a thing were unthinkable, the man clicked his tongue in annoyance and abruptly grabbed one of Hyeon’s arms. Hyeon didn’t even have time to shake him off in disgust.

“Now, will this suffice? If he collapses after walking a bit, I’ll be the one getting scolded, so just wait here in peace. Let’s just go comfortably, shall we?”

Though it sounded like persuasion, the attitude was closer to a threat. The followers trembled with rage but could not lodge any protest. Just as the man implied, if the other side decided to revoke the pardon on a sudden whim, Hyeon’s life would be forfeit. Regardless of whether Elder Statesman Noh’s face turned red or purple with anger, the man led Hyeon into the palace. Feeling the nausea rise again, Hyeon quickly pushed the man’s support away.

“I can walk on my own.”

At Hyeon’s guarded tone, the man let out a chuckle and replied.

“We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other, so let’s not build such high walls. We’re here.”

With a swift motion, he opened the door to a cool space. The moment the heavy iron door was pulled open, a scent of flowers wafted out, and Hyeon reflexively covered his nose and mouth. Based on his experience, a fragrance this intense was 100% equivalent to an emetic. Was Mikhail inside? To be vomiting at the first meeting since he had fled the banquet hall in shock… The moment he reflexively turned his head and squeezed his eyes shut—

“……?”

For some reason, his stomach felt fine. Rather… it was more peaceful than he had ever felt at any other time.

“……?!”

As Hyeon hesitated on the threshold with a look of bewilderment, the man turned back and asked as if wondering what was wrong.

“Is there a problem?”

Hyeon quickly shook his head.

“No, just… there was a scent coming from inside…”

The man shrugged.

“That’s because the inside is overflowing with flowers.”

Following the man’s gesture, Hyeon looked inside. Indeed, it was a sight that would cause a flood of floral scents upon opening the door. While he had drained the pond famous for its lotuses, this room was lavishly adorned with countless flowers, as if the entire garden and conservatory had been moved here. Just as Hyeon was momentarily intimidated by the overwhelming scenery, a familiar voice rang out.

“It’s been a long time.”

Hyeon felt a sudden shiver at the gaze looking up at him with a face that was damnably beautiful, despite having ruined everything he owned.

To be continued in Vol 3