1.11 Like Rain That Soaks You Before You Realize It’s Seeping In

“I love you, I love…” Mikhail repeatedly chewed over the words he had failed to reach in his previous life, comforting himself. Love. Because of that damn thing, the life of Mikhail Ivan Osbrandt—the most beloved hero of the Empire—had been torn to shreds. When he first realized he loved him, Mikhail had been young and naive. He had lived under the innocent delusion that the other would understand, believing that his small lies were all for the sake of saving him. Because of that foolish delusion, Mikhail had lost him. For one who defied the laws of nature, there was little time left. A second mistake would not be tolerated.

Even the pain tightening around his heart was lovely, but the sticky affection remaining in his hands was loathsome.

When Mikhail was very young, he asked his mother what love was, and she laughed aloud. “What do you mean, what is love? It’s sitting a useless child down at the dinner table and making sure they’re well-fed, clothed, and tucked in so they don’t go hungry.” Patrick, an elder brother figure from the neighborhood who worked in leathercraft, gave a different answer. “You’re too young to know. You’ll understand once you find a woman you want to live with, sitting in your house and raising a child or two together.” Liesel, the older sister who lived across the street, gave yet another answer. “Perhaps it’s the feeling of becoming shy just by thinking of someone.”

At seventeen, Mikhail had different thoughts. No one had given him the right answer. If he had to choose, perhaps Liesel’s answer was the wisest. A strange feeling—wanting to run away just by thinking of him, yet hating the idea of him not being before his eyes even more. Whenever he stood before the Duke, his heart raced as if he had committed a crime, yet he never wanted to be far from his side; it was truly contradictory.

When the Imperial Prince, who had not yet reached legal adulthood, finally realized he was in love, he was grateful that it wasn’t too late. Because his Elder Brother had not yet ascended the Imperial throne. Because the Duke’s curse had not worsened beyond the point of no return. He thought it was a relief that he had come to know these yearning feelings while everything could still be set right and reversed. From the moment he deluded himself into thinking that only happiness remained—like the lovers in the fairy tales told by an old hunter in his childhood, resolving all misunderstandings—he had essentially been living with his eyes half-closed.

Why hadn’t he noticed then? Unable to distinguish whether his fault was arrogance or foolishness, Mikhail could not even perform a proper atonement. To Mikhail, love was a desperate unauthorized copysubstitution, [Read on Read BL Novels]a brilliant blessing that had stripped him of everything.

“…….”

While the Crown Prince, who had caused a massive incident shortly before his scheduled ascension to the throne, stared blankly out the window, the attendants all glanced at one another. Is something wrong? But we drained all the ponds in the Crown Prince’s Palace as instructed. Though the reason was unknown, everyone endured the atmosphere—which felt like walking on thin ice—while observing Mikhail’s expression, which seemed considerably irritated.

Several weeks had already passed since the Crown Prince, upon reaching adulthood, declared that he would take a traitor as his spouse. The Emperor had long ago announced that he would abdicate the throne on the Crown Prince’s birthday the following year. Although the timing was a bit early, the Emperor’s intent was to leave the new era to the next generation and step back into the shadows of history, as the Crown Prince had earned the trust of local lords by traveling throughout the Empire since childhood and had his wise judgment recognized through long trials.

The words sounded nice. Plenty of plausible excuses followed—such as how a ruler who knows when to step down and leaves the seat of power before senility sets in is the wisest of sovereign kings—but in reality, most of those working in the Imperial Palace already knew that the Emperor was in critical condition. The exact name of the illness was not disclosed, but it was a disease where the extremities of the limbs gradually rotted and crumbled. With symptoms similar to a punishment that follows depraved behavior, the Emperor did not have much time left. The high nobility speculated that he intended to step down before the symptoms could no longer be hidden by lavish silks and furs.

Edwin, the former Crown Prince, had already lost his qualifications as a successor. Having been stripped of even the minimum courtesy due to a member of the Imperial Family, he barely received the treatment of a noble as a collateral descendant of his maternal side, the House of Onegin. And what of the Princess, the current Crown Prince’s sister? Ida was someone who had remained a child forever, speaking nonsense and spending her days plucking and scattering flowers in the garden. To hope that the Princess, who possessed a beauty as dazzling as the moon but had never stepped a single foot outside the abandoned palace, would become a person capable of fulfilling her role was like praying for water to spontaneously turn into wine.

For the Emperor, who had to abdicate in the near future, Mikhail was the last lifeline. He never dreamed that the lifeline he switched to was a rotten rope. While the Emperor sighed deeply in lament, the new Crown Prince—for whatever reason—continued to fulfill his duties as Crown Prince diligently, yet refused to withdraw the demand that had left the Emperor clutching his head in bed. His attitude suggested that he would not be the first to retract his decision, and since there were no other options, the Emperor might as well accept it quietly.

No one knew for what purpose he was doing something that would turn the entire Imperial Palace upside down. Except for Marcel Humphris, the aide who had supported the Crown Prince since childhood. In truth, even Marcel did not know exactly what the Crown Prince was thinking.

‘Unless he’s suddenly lost his mind, why is he doing this?’

About a week after the Duke vanished following the Crown Prince’s instructions, Marcel sent investigators disguised as peddlers to the region the Crown Prince had specified. The location the Crown Prince pointed out was a small rural village not far from Frigid. He had given them a whole week; could he have possibly hidden here? It wasn’t even a place suitable for hiding due to a large number of households; it was a tiny village where a few families lived around a small temple and monastery. There was no way the Duke would be hiding in a place like this. Marcel had scoffed while assigning the search, but he was greatly surprised to confirm that a monk and an elderly couple had recently entered the monastery.

‘How on earth did he…’

Had there been a prior hint? But if so, the Duke was no fool; he wouldn’t have hidden in a place where he would be [stolen content]so easily discovered. Marcel was still visit our siteconfused even as he dismissed the investigators with orders to only confirm the location and not to make an arrest. The Crown Prince, whom Marcel expected to be anxious and uneasy, showed signs of having already been certain when the report from the small rural village arrived. The Crown Prince’s behavior was strange in many ways.

“What do you intend to do from now on?”

When Marcel, who had barged into the office past the attendants who were keeping their mouths shut while gauging the Crown Prince’s mood, asked, the Crown Prince replied with a leisurely face.

“I told you. The Duke will come back on his own soon.”

That was not the answer Marcel wanted to hear. Hearing something he had already heard was meaningless. Marcel asked again, not hiding his anger.

“You know that’s not what I’m asking.”

It was an attitude only someone who had personally supported the Crown Prince’s rise to his current position could show. Even though Marcel did not hide his anger, the Crown Prince didn’t seem to care. It was unbelievable that this was the same Imperial Prince who, as recently as early last year, would ask what was wrong if Marcel looked upset and would act spoiled to cheer him up, as if he were a child from a real relative’s house.

“I will do exactly as I told His Majesty.”

“Are you truly saying you will take the Duke as your Crown Princess Consort? Sincerely?”

When Marcel asked as if questioning his sanity, the Crown Prince replied with a sneer.

“Is there any reason why I cannot?”

Is there a reason? There are plenty! Marcel already knew the Crown Prince had harbored feelings for the Duke for a long time, so he didn’t intend to waste breath on that. However, if one wants to become a partner linked not only by heart but also legally, usually, they respect the other party’s will. As stolen contentMarcel had suspected, the Crown Prince’s affection for the Duke was clearly one-sided. Read on Read BL NovelsHow much must he have hated him to even run away? Not only did he calmly order the pursuit of someone who fled even after being told he would be cured of his illness, but he also used some unknown method to make him return on his own, only to insist on making him his partner—this man was not just crazy, he was exceptionally mad.

‘When did he become like this?’

The Crown Prince Marcel knew was easygoing and unfamiliar with etiquette, but he wasn’t someone this devoid of propriety. If the Duke refused, he was the type to be sad but respect his opinion and suffer in silence, not someone who would stubbornly adhere to an attitude of ‘I’ll just make him mine regardless.’ Hoping the Crown Prince would come to his senses, Marcel gave a blunt piece of advice, thinking he must speak the truth even if it cost him his head.

“Your Highness. The Duke hates you. Is there any reason more important than that?”

Regardless of status, as a man, there could be no words more wounding to one’s pride. He must know that himself, so why was he being so stubborn? Marcel felt he could almost accept it if he just plainly said, ‘I must possess him even if I have to do that.’ If he felt he would go mad if he didn’t have him, regardless of how much the Duke was hurt or broken. No, if he had obtained all this power just to possess him, Marcel would have even applauded this vicious bastard. When Marcel threw the direct question out of frustration, the Crown Prince unexpectedly gave a dry laugh and made a bombshell announcement.

“Because he is carrying an imperial descendant. Is it such a cause for opposition to take someone who carries an imperial descendant in their womb as a partner?”

His tone was so calm and confident that Marcel almost instinctively replied, ‘Ah, I see! That is such a relief. A Crown Princess Consort pregnant even before ascending the throne in an Imperial Family where children are rare—what a joyous occasion!’

“Pardon? No, what? Wait a moment… Did I hear something wrong…”

While Marcel, and indeed all the aides and attendants waiting in the office, froze in shock, the Crown Prince snapped back before Marcel could even ask again.

“Since we must treat the curse as soon as the Duke arrives at the Imperial Palace, make sure everything is prepared in advance.”

Then, as if he no longer wished to have a headache-inducing conversation, he waved his hand and kicked everyone out of the room. Even Marcel, whose mouth was hanging open in shock. Marcel felt as if all his thought circuits had stopped due to the immense shock. So, if his hearing wasn’t wrong, the Duke was pregnant, and that child was the Crown Prince’s child. Neither the former Crown Prince nor the Emperor would have been crazy enough to touch the Duke, so the only royal who would be in heat for that robust man was Mikhail.

But the Duke is an Alpha. Marcel was confused, his head feeling as if it would explode. So, was the Duke actually an Omega, not an Alpha? However, there were too many suspicious points. As everyone knew, until the Imperial Prince kidnapping incident, the Duke was someone who commanded prestige as the [unauthorized copy]Grand Duke of House Transis. That meant he must have embraced Omegas more than a few times to satisfy his desires as an Alpha. Then, had stolen contentthe House Transis intentionally hired people to keep quiet and pretend the heir was an [unauthorized copy]Alpha to hide that he was an Omega? Marcel quickly searched for a servant who had worked for House Transis back then and was currently residing outside Quilan.

“That Duke Transis might not be an Alpha? He was someone who didn’t hide his pheromones at all; how could anyone mistake that?”

However, the only response was a scoff from the servant, who had grown old and was living in the hometown of a son-in-law from the central region.

“No… still, well, I heard there was always someone accompanying him at those times…”

“Don’t talk nonsense. From the look of it, you’re an Alpha too, so why don’t you just meet him yourself and find out?”

Marcel went through the trouble of meeting and talking to people personally, but the result remained unchanged. He even met someone who had entered the Grand Duke’s bed over ten years ago, but nothing changed. When Marcel had encountered him at the ice lake, his health had deteriorated to the point where pheromones were barely detectable, but the fact that he had been a robust Alpha was no mistake.

‘Then how on earth…’

The Crown Prince had said some strange things back when he was still an Imperial Prince. Did he use some trick to make him conceive while in an Alpha’s body? Marcel was still confused. Even if a method to turn an Alpha into an Omega existed in the world, it was a mystery how the Crown Prince knew about it. Who could have told him? If such a method existed, the only person who would have searched for it and informed him was himself. With Marcel as his only usable hand and foot, he had no clue how the Crown Prince had found that method or when he had started using it.

Regardless, if it were true that the Duke was pregnant, there could be no bigger incident. If the child was Mikhail’s bloodline, it was only natural for it to grow up in the Imperial Family, and the fact that the parent, the Duke, must become a member of the Imperial Family was not a matter that could be rejected simply because the Duke didn’t want to. An imperial descendant must be raised in the hands of the Imperial Family. There could be no internal rule more important than this.

How would the Emperor react upon hearing the news that he had already become a grandfather? Would he be happy that the succession problem was at least solved? Or would he fly into a rage, wondering why it had to be that man? If this were someone else’s business, he would watch the Imperial Family crumble like a house of cards from across the river, but unfortunately, Marcel was bound to the Imperial Family. Having cast himself as the kingmaker and the sole confidant of the current Crown Prince, it was an inescapable destiny.

“Haa…”

While Marcel was in his office, clutching his head in agony, the Crown Prince was busy attending to his duties with composure. As the person who would [Read on Read BL Novels]soon inherit the highest seat of power in the Empire, he was receiving the Emperor’s duties one by one [unauthorized copy]even amidst this chaos, so he couldn’t even rest as he pleased.

The Empress, for her part, threw a tantrum, claiming she could not forgive the Crown Prince for making the Imperial Family a laughingstock, and seemed ready to storm in and slap the Crown Prince’s cheek at any moment. While the atmosphere in the Imperial Palace could hardly be more ominous, the ponds of the garden—the pride of the palace—were dried up by the Crown Prince’s order, making them look like absolute eyesores. No one knew why he had devastated the pride of the palace, which boasted crystal-clear water like a mirror in winter, turned lush green with sprouts in spring, and was brilliantly colored with all sorts of flowers in summer.

Speculations ran wild—whether it had some magical meaning, or whether it was retaliation against the Imperial Family for neglecting and causing the early death of his mother—but the truth was known only to the culprit who had ordered that wasteful act.

“…….”

Only after the ponds had completely bottomed out and the dry, cracked earth lay brittle upon the floor did Mikhail’s mind calm down a bit. Just looking at the place made him want to set it on fire and erase it; the fact that he had waited according to procedure until the palace workers moved was a demonstration of Mikhail’s maximum patience.

The Duke is still alive. Unless something unexpected happens, he will continue to breathe safely for a while. At least while he resents Mikhail, he will not take his own life, but will instead strive to find a way to strangle Mikhail’s own breath. Because inside that womb, a being that the Duke cannot bring himself to erase with his own hands is growing.

Mikhail pulled the corners of his mouth and laughed like a madman. Since he had already become unable to live sanely long ago, perhaps he really was a madman. It didn’t matter in the slightest. How should he welcome the Duke when he arrives at the Imperial Palace? Should he dress up to look like the most beautiful person in the Duke’s eyes and choose the finest ceremonial robes? Even if it was a relationship in name only, a groom welcoming his partner could not dress haphazardly. He would wear white ceremonial robes embroidered with delicate silver and gold threads and greet him with a bright smile. The more the Duke looked at him with a loathsome expression, the better. Because Mikhail’s goal was to become the partner the Duke must absolutely survive for, if only to take revenge.

Under a damnably blue sky, the garden, which had exposed its floor like a turtle’s shell, formed a rather strange harmony. Mikhail gazed at the garden through the transparent glass window, then suddenly glanced at his own reflection. Upon the smooth surface, something like a thicket of thorns appeared near Mikhail’s heart. It was a sight so blurred, like a mirage, that one might have been confused as to whether they were seeing things, but Mikhail remained calm. The branches, which had grown significantly compared to when he first turned back time, were conspicuous. As if showing that little time remained, the thorns stretched out precariously, as if to pierce his heart, boasting a sinister sharpness.

Had he been asked what he could offer to undo the layers of accumulated sins? Mikhail had laid down his own life without hesitation. For it had been more than a few nights that he prayed it would be his greatest joy if he could die in his stead. So, you only need to resent me. Mikhail closed his eyes with a dry laugh. As he pressed his eyelids shut, memories he found so contemptible he could hardly bear them rose up in a dizzying whirl. The irreversible tragedy began at nineteen, like a train jumping its tracks—right after he ascended to the position of Crown Prince.

To be continued in Vol 2