2.7 Forgive-Me-Not(1)
After passing through the devastated corridor and returning to his quarters, Mikhail looked out the window at the encroaching night and checked the time. A glance at the clock on the wall told him it was almost time for his small guest to arrive. Despite the gathering darkness, the scenery outside remained reasonably clear. The hideous garden, its bare ground exposed, seemed to mock him, as if suggesting that such a wretched state was only fitting for its current master.
A moment later, as expected, a faint tapping sounded against the windowpane. Mikhail opened the window. With a flutter, an elegant bird with jet-black wings, eyes that shone even darker than the night, and black claws flew inside.
“Caw, caw, caw!”
The crow, barely larger than the span of Mikhail’s outstretched palm, scurried across his desk, crying out as if demanding something. Looking down at the bird, Mikhail reached into his sleeve, pulled out some bread, and crumbled it into small pieces for the creature.
“Caw! Caw-!”
The small bird fluttered and pecked at the crumbs, but then, as if dissatisfied, it suddenly nipped Mikhail’s sleeve.
“Ouch.”
Feeling his sleeve tugged, Mikhail understood and placed the remaining chunk of bread on the desk. Only then did the crow seem satisfied; it gripped the bread with one foot, tore into it vigorously, and after filling its belly, perched lightly on Mikhail’s forearm. Tilting its small head as if acting cute to get his attention, the bird had a small note tied to its ankle.
‘Still using such an outdated method.’
It was a way of communicating that had become a relic in this era, yet it was still used in certain regions. It was an archaic method, essentially no different from sending a messenger on foot without a [Read on Read BL Novels]word, but it was fortunate that it allowed them to evade surveillance networks. As Mikhail untied the knot from the crow’s leg and unfolded the note, the content he had expected was written in a cipher used in the ancient Kingdom of Eredit.
[As requested, the shelter has been prepared. Now, all that remains is to persuade that person to come. We leave it in your hands.]
Mikhail let out a light sigh and brushed his chest in relief. Now it was his turn to send a reply. He burned the received letter in a candle flame and, to ensure that no one could identify the author even if the carrier pigeon were captured, he tore a piece of nondescript paper and wrote in an unfamiliar handwriting.
[Thank you for your hard work. I will notify you as soon as His Highness sends word to the Crown Prince.]
He then tied the note back onto the leg of the crow, which was once again puffing out its chest with pride.
“Now, have some water before you go.”
If the messenger bird caught a good wind, the letter would arrive within two days at the latest, even including time to rest in trees or caves. If a person were to walk without using a gate, their wanted status would be discovered, so while primitive, this method was not lacking in efficiency. When Mikhail poured water from his own glass into a saucer, the crow drank its fill and let out a short cry.
“Caw, caw!”
Well, it seemed satisfied, so that was enough. The crow stretched once, showing off its elegant wings, and then dove out the window, vanishing into the darkness. All that remained now was to wait for him to come and find him.
“…….”
What kind of face would he have when they met again? Would he be angry, or disappointed? Or perhaps both? Either way, Mikhail’s heart was already physically tattered, so this kind of pain [unauthorized copy]was merely a sting. He hoped [unauthorized copy]the man would find him soon and [visit our site]plunge the dagger that would signal the end of his heart. With a worn-out soul, Mikhail could only wait.
Meanwhile, Hyeon, who was staying in a refuge provided by his aides, was losing sleep due to recurring nightmares. Every night, Hyeon dreamed of a child. A child who looked to be about three or four years old stood by a body of water—he couldn’t tell if it was a sea or a river. The child walked through water that reached precariously up to their calves, and for some reason, Hyeon couldn’t leave them alone, feeling an inexplicable anxiety.
‘It’s dangerous there.’
Whenever Hyeon approached to pull the child out of the water, the child would vanish without a trace, and Hyeon would wake up. If it were a nightmare of being beaten or insulted, he could understand it as a result of his frayed nerves lately. But he had no idea what this strange dream was about. It was simply a dream where he watched a child walking by the water as if waiting for something, only to wake up the moment he drew near. Hyeon suddenly realized that he had never once seen the child’s face.
“……?”
But why did he think, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, that the child’s face would look just like his own? He didn’t know the reason; everything was a mystery. Having the same dream for several days was driving him to the brink of a nervous breakdown. Who was this child? Why were they there? Because his life in hiding was utterly tedious, Hyeon remained obsessed with the dream. He felt that if he could just see the child’s face properly, he would feel some sense of closure. It was incredibly frustrating to wake up every time just before he could catch the child.
However, since there was no other way, he woke up today still feeling unpleasant. As he was tidying his bedding, an elderly man with a familiar face entered.
“Did you sleep well last night, Your Highness?”
To the voice that was always excessively solemn, Hyeon replied in a somewhat indifferent tone.
“Nothing special. Neither improved nor worsened.”
When Hyeon held out his hand as if [stolen content]telling him to check for himself, the old physician immediately felt his [stolen content]pulse and slowly shook his head.
“No. Your Highness may not be conscious of it yet, but your pulse is growing weaker. At this rate, your body will not be able to endure until the birth.”
Despite the old man’s worried expression, Hyeon replied without batting an eye.
“Then try to obtain some Tikan tree sap. It has been effective so far, so I should be able to hold out until the child is born.”
The old man grew even more anxious at the dry attitude, as if Hyeon didn’t care what happened to himself after that. How could he say such a thing! Whenever Hyeon, who was a magicologist himself, acted as if he were a complete layman in medicine, the old man felt as if his heart were burning to a crisp.
“You cannot. As I mentioned before, Tikan tree sap has the effect of suppressing growth, which will interfere with the growth of the fetus. That would put the baby at risk. Not just ‘could be’ at risk—it could effectively wither the fetus to death.”
Could that be what he actually wanted? The old man barely managed to utter the words he had been chewing on in his mouth.
“Or… if you have a specific intention, I will prepare the necessary medicine for you.”
If Hyeon had said those things with the intention of not giving birth, the old man meant he could prepare a better medicine for that purpose. Hyeon momentarily understood the old man’s intention and flinched, pulling his hand back. Then, with an even more exhausted face, he spoke.
“That is not what I meant.”
Then what do you intend to do? The old man felt like he was the only one pacing in frustration, nearly driven mad. He claimed he had no intention of killing the child, yet his current behavior was no different from lying down and deciding to die together. And yet he told him to find a way to slow the progression of his curse—there was no such way. If he [visit our site]wanted to give birth to the child safely, there was one thing he had to do first. He had to be pardoned for the assassin’s crown.
‘That’s why he should have left for the Imperial Palace the moment the Crown Prince agreed to take him as the Crown Princess Consort….’
Punishing that lawless Crown Prince was a matter for after the safety of His Highness and the baby was secured; in the current state, things were only becoming more serious by the day. As soon as he stopped taking the medicine made from Tikan tree sap, another problem had emerged as if on cue.
“Then what will you do? If time continues to pass like this, the baby may not be able to hold out any longer.”
The problem the old man had recently discovered was this. The Duke’s body had been so weak that it was difficult for him to even move, and as a result, the reproductive system unique to Alphas had stopped functioning. Naturally, his pheromones had dropped to a trace level, and as long as this state was maintained, there would be no problem for the child in the womb. However, due to the influence of the sap he had taken, the Duke’s body had recovered a tiny bit of strength, and the concentration of the Duke’s pheromones had risen to a level that could no longer be considered a trace, though it was nothing compared to before.
This made the situation grave. Although it hadn’t been discovered by what principle a uterus had formed in an Alpha’s body, a child cannot accept the pheromones of two Alphas. In a normal situation, a child grows using the pheromones of a pair of Alpha and Omega as nutrients and stabilizers. Because the child was conceived during a period when the Duke could barely emit pheromones, the fetus was instinctively showing a rejection reaction to the Duke’s pheromones. It was only natural. To the child, the presence of an Alpha who was not its father would feel like an intruder coming to kill it. The fact that the Duke’s pulse was becoming increasingly unstable was likely not just because his body was weakening, but also because of this reason.
Hyeon closed his eyes stubbornly, as if he didn’t even want to answer. How could one break the stubbornness of such a resolute man? If he were someone who could be persuaded by words, he wouldn’t have come this far. The old man swallowed a groan and shook his head. Eventually, leaving the basement where the Duke stayed without any progress, the old man shook his head to Transis’s surviving confidants who were waiting for him outside.
“This is a disaster. His Highness is refusing so stubbornly….”
The only person who knew about the Duke’s pregnancy was the old man. The other companions merely assumed that the Duke had refused the pardon and chosen the path of death. He didn’t know what had gotten into the Crown Prince to mock the Duke by mentioning the appointment of the Crown Princess Consort, but if the goal was the reconstruction of Transis, surviving for now was the priority. The immediate humiliation would be bitter, but if it could preserve his life, the lineage of Transis could continue. Even if the power stripped away during the Duke’s generation could not be reclaimed, if he let any Omega into his bed during his rut to produce an heir, that descendant might one day achieve revenge.
But if he held out and died like this? There was no answer. A life already extinguished could not be saved even if the Goddess herself descended. They say that once a soul crosses over to the world of the dead, it is bound forever to the land of the deceased and cannot return. Even without such legends, it was a clear truth that human life is finite and the dead cannot be revived. Therefore, he had to survive now. Even the elderly couple who helped him escape, so that Hyeon could end his life in peace, seemed to secretly hope he would break his stubbornness, but there was no way that stone-like Duke would listen.
Was he forced to watch him wither away while throwing away the means unauthorized copyto live? Moreover, [stolen content]knowing that there was a child in that womb, the old man’s heart was burning with anxiety.
“Sigh… I will return for today. I shall visit again within a week.”
“Understood. Safe travels, Doctor.”
Once the physician left the monastery, silence descended upon the basement once more. Hyeon, lying in the basement which was eerily quiet except for the occasional sound of rats gnawing at the walls, fell back into a deep sleep.
And as always, Hyeon opened his eyes by a body of water that stretched so wide the horizon was invisible. No matter how many times he saw it, it was a strange space. A calm surface of water, neither river nor sea, extended to form a distant horizon. And at a distance where it felt like he could catch them if he ran, the child stood today as well. Fine, stay there. In a state of resignation, Hyeon did not approach the child and simply slumped down. Since the water was at the height of the child’s ankles, sitting down like this would surely soak his lower body, but strangely, he felt no sensation of wetness.
‘Well, it’s a dream, so it’s natural.’
As he gazed at the child’s back as if possessed, the child, who had been looking in the same direction as Hyeon and showing only the back of their head, suddenly turned around. Then, taking one slow step at a time, the child began to approach Hyeon.
‘What now?’
When he had tried so hard to catch the child before, they had run away. Feeling a sudden sense of dread, Hyeon stood up to flee. He must not be caught. Suddenly, such a pressure bloomed in his chest. I have to run. But his feet felt frozen, and he couldn’t move an inch. Was the reason he had failed every time he tried to catch the child because he wasn’t the one meant to catch, but the one meant to be chased? Just as he stood frozen, unable to move.
Thump. The small child, whose height didn’t even reach Hyeon’s waist, hugged his leg with their whole body.
‘……?!’
For a moment, Hyeon was bewildered. Unable to push the child away nor leave them be, he just fidgeted awkwardly with his hands when the child suddenly looked up and shouted.
“I want to see Daddy!”
What is this child saying? Only then could Hyeon see the child’s face clearly. Disheveled blonde hair, brightly shining blue-grey eyes. The eyebrows were soft yet stubborn, unlike a typical child’s, and the eyelashes were long and thick. A boy so pretty that he would surely be mistaken for a girl if dressed in a gown looked into Hyeon’s eyes and raised his voice again.
“I want to see Daddy!”
Then, with small fists, he began to pat-pat Hyeon’s leg. The force was so weak and fragile that it felt like being tapped by feathers. Looking down at the child with obvious confusion, Hyeon suddenly realized that the child resembled someone. Despite being a young child, the high, well-defined nose and stubborn eyebrows looked exactly like his own, and the innocent yet lovely eyes were a spitting image of an impression he had seen far too often.
“Hurry! I don’t want Mister, I want to see Daddy!”
After throwing a tantrum, the child began to sob while tapping his leg with his fists again, and at that moment, Hyeon suddenly woke up.
‘What kind of nonsense dream was that.’
It was literally a nonsense dream. There was no way it wasn’t. Hyeon let out a hollow laugh, breaking into a cold sweat from the absurdity. Just how unstable was his mind to have such a dream? They say dreams are manifestations of the unconscious; it seemed his guilt toward the child had caused him to have such a stupid dream. There was no other way to explain it.
‘Why did I even imagine such a specific appearance….’
Even after waking up, the image of the child remained etched in his mind. The disheveled deep blonde hair and lovely face flickered whenever he had a spare moment, reminding him of the sentence the child had shouted so rudely.
‘I don’t want Mister, I want to see Daddy!’
If that child was indeed the one in his womb, at least within the confines of the dream, then he was the child’s father, so who on earth was the child looking for? Even if that father was the bastard who was the root of all this, as long as he was the one carrying the child, there was no way he would be called ‘Mister’ by the child. But ‘Mister’? Thinking about it again, it was a nonsense dream with an unpredictable origin.
Let’s just forget it. Hyeon quickly picked up a book brought by his followers. The thick book with a worn-out cover was a collection of short stories currently popular among commoners. Apparently, it was a collection of eerie tales with clear poetic justice. Picking up the book to divert his thoughts, Hyeon read for a while before closing the cover with a chilled expression.
“…….”
The first story was about a certain nobleman. After seducing an innocent village maiden and getting her pregnant, he abandoned the woman and returned to the city as soon as the summer vacation ended. The abandoned woman fled in secret from her family and, giving birth alone without a midwife, ended up dying along with the child. Soon after, the nobleman married another woman, forgetting the maiden, but the bride fell ill for an unknown reason and wasted away until she died. The same happened to the new wife he took after being widowed. After several such deaths, the story ended with the man meeting a miserable end, paying the price for the layers of accumulated resentment.
The second story was about a couple who stole and raised someone else’s child. The couple, who had been unable to conceive for a long time, happened to find a baby crying alone while passing through the mountains. Soon after, they found the child’s parents, who appeared to have been in an accident nearby. The parents promised to reward them if they were saved, but the moment the couple saw the child, they fled with the baby as if possessed. In the end, the parents died. The story concluded with the couple, who had raised the child as if he were their own biological son, eventually meeting their deaths at the hands of the grown child seeking revenge.
‘Why is every single one of these so damn unlucky?’
As is typical for horror novels centered on poetic justice, not a single story was pleasant. Feeling even more unsettled, Hyeon tried to sleep again, only to open his eyes in that same familiar place.
‘Again….’
And, as always, he came face-to-face with the child.
“I told you I want to see my daddy! You’re scary, mister!”
Now, the child had even begun to kick Hyeon’s legs with his small feet. Where on earth did such insolence come from? He wondered if the boy was simply naive or just completely fearless. For someone claiming to be scared, he was excessively spirited. When Hyeon didn’t react, the child began to sob sorrowfully.
“I want to see my daddy, hic… ugh… sniff, hic….”
The child wept so pitifully, wiping away tear-drops the size of marbles with tiny fists, that Hyeon felt as if he had become some sort of villain bullying a young child. For now, if he didn’t want to be crushed to death by guilt, he figured he had to soothe him. Hyeon asked hurriedly.
“Who is your father? I need to know who he is to let you meet him.”
At that, the child let out a sniffle and looked up at Hyeon, blinking his large eyes.
“You know my daddy, mister. Why are you pretending not to?”
And then, Hyeon woke up from the dream again. It was a continuous loop of nonsense dreams.
Since the same dream had repeated for nearly a week, he had reached a point where he felt afraid to fall asleep. Hyeon had never soothed a child in his life. Neither his profession nor his personality lent itself to being around children, and since he had been the youngest among his own family members, he had no reason to [visit our site]encounter children younger than himself. While he occasionally passed families while out and about, his gaze never lingered for more than a moment. Even when Hyeon told him to stop crying or that he didn’t know who his father was, the child only continued to weep sorrowfully.
“…….”
Seeing Hyeon’s complexion worsen significantly over the past few days, the people of the monastery who tended to him were heartbroken.
“Oh dear… he was already gaunt, but now his cheeks have sunken in completely.”
If only he could eat something hearty, he might regain some strength. But given the monastery’s meager circumstances, such a luxury was impossible. While everyone clicked their tongues in pity, rare good news arrived.
“An unexpected donation came in from an anonymous benefactor! We’ll be able to put some grease in our mouths for a while. We can even fix the barn.”
An unknown pilgrim, praying for the safe birth of their spouse’s child, had offered a small donation to every temple and monastery they visited. Thanks to the fact that this monastery—which the Order itself occasionally forgot existed—received a sum similar to the great temples, their finances became generous enough that they didn’t have to worry for the time being. Thanks to this, they were able to increase the nutritional value of the rice porridge given to Hyeon by adding small amounts of meat and fresh vegetables. Not only did they replace the old bed, where stiff stalks often poked his back, with softer straw, but the entire crumbling monastery seemed to regain its vitality.
Perhaps because they had gained some breathing room, people began to get excited one by one. It wasn’t just the adults who ran throughout the monastery with heads hotter than usual from excitement.
“I went to the mountain behind us yesterday and picked some flowers. Aren’t they pretty!”
An orphan boy, who previously had to go to the market every day to sell crafts made by the monks, began to pick flowers—unbidden—to decorate the monastery and the garden, thanks to the free time he was granted. It felt as if the long winter had ended and spring had arrived. In that brightening landscape, the only person who remained unmoved, as if still trapped in winter, was Hyeon in the basement.
“…….”
Afraid that closing his eyes would lead back to that uncomfortable dream, Hyeon had been drastically reducing his sleep. As he abruptly increased his waking hours, his body began to malfunction. His pulse quickened, and his vision, which had briefly cleared with the help of Tikan tree sap, became blurred again. His condition fluctuated wildly between being strangely good and deteriorating, and he spent his time struggling through the sermons and scriptures kept in the monastery. For the most part, they were more tedious, old-fashioned, and moralistic than even the oldest novels.
As with most religions, this one served to control the masses. Do not covet what belongs to others, do not commit adultery, do not kill without just cause. The idea that some killings could be forgiven for religious reasons was truly a medieval concept, but its role as a set of norms providing direction on how to live was clear. Among them, the most blatant was the passage urging one not to covet things beyond their station. It was a classic royal society. It meticulously brainwashed people into believing it was natural for the family granted the authority to rule by the Goddess to sit at the apex, and that the Goddess would be enraged if one resisted this providence.
‘Ha….’
Since divine beasts existed and he himself had been suddenly dragged into a story from another world, he couldn’t deny the existence of unscientific powers, but divine judgment? It was a laughable threat. If such a thing existed, the family currently sitting in the Imperial Palace should have been struck by heavenly punishment long ago. Does that god always side with Osbrant? It was a doctrine that spoke entirely for the ruler.
‘Does it make sense that the people of Quilan continue to serve the Goddess even though the country has become this mess?’
A moment later, finding another piece of logic that could be twisted to fit any narrative, Hyeon sneered. It claimed that if a ruler forgot their duty and plundered the people, it was also the god’s will to punish them. Ultimately, everything would flow according to the Goddess’s will, so enduring trials was a virtue. If a god truly existed, how could they be so negligent toward their creations? With a faint smirk, Hyeon closed the scripture and closed his eyes.
And that day, the child appeared before Hyeon without fail. Unlike usual, he wasn’t throwing a tantrum or whining; he was curled up, weeping silently. The moment Hyeon reached out to examine the child more closely, he woke up, as if being pulled out of water.
“Ugh….”
Immediately after opening his eyes, as usual. Hyeon felt a strange intuition, different from normal, and pulled back the covers. His lower abdomen felt tight, as if it had hardened strangely, and it throbbed as if being pricked by needles. Feeling something unpleasant flowing down his thighs, he checked below to find faint traces of blood.
“You must decide now, Your Highness. There is no more time to delay.”
A short while later. Elder Statesman Noh, who had rushed to the monastery upon receiving a carrier pigeon, checked Hyeon’s pulse and placed a stethoscope on his lower abdomen where the fetus was situated. He spoke with an expression that seemed even more frail than usual.
“If you are waiting for the baby to miscarry on its own, it would be less taxing for you to simply take medicine.”
In his hand was a small bottle containing a dark brown liquid. Whether it was a blessing or a curse, the child was still alive inside Hyeon’s womb. Despite being so weak that it wouldn’t have been strange for a miscarriage to occur at any moment, the child was stubbornly clinging to life, sharing nutrients from Hyeon’s frail body. Since he was a man with little time left to live, it was only right to take action as soon as possible if he only cared for his own health. The physician had argued that if he intended to give birth, he should notify the palace immediately without further delay, but he had long since accepted that persuading the Duke was impossible.
Persuading him to have the child through that stubbornness seemed like a lost cause now. If he wanted to achieve at least a peaceful end to his life as originally intended, he had to act quickly. Just as the physician was about to change his approach and persuade him to take the medicine since the timing for delay had passed—
“…….”
Hyeon hesitated, not readily accepting the medicine offered by the physician. Why did he have such a strange dream? If he had never once imagined what the child would look like if born, he wouldn’t be suffering from such heavy guilt. Why did he have to find out the child’s identity in this manner? Did the Crown Prince know about the child’s existence? Since he had orchestrated everything, even Hyeon’s pregnancy must have been planned. If so, was he not curious whether his child was dead or alive, or if it was growing properly? Forgetting the fact that he had hidden his tracks so thoroughly that not a single strand of hair was visible, Hyeon directed all his resentment toward the Crown Prince. He wanted to blame him for why he alone had to shoulder the guilt and responsibility for a child he might not be able to bear. After swallowing a long sigh, Hyeon asked.
“…Is there no other way for the child to grow safely other than receiving a pardon for the curse?”
At the first positive utterance, the old man felt as if his blocked ears had suddenly opened. However, tragically, that was not the only mountain the Duke had to climb.
“I am sorry to inform you, but since Your Highness has conceived a child in the body of an Alpha, there are other problems piled up accordingly.”
To summarize, Hyeon was appalled to hear that from the perspective of the child growing in his womb, he was merely a ‘place’ providing space and nutrients, and because the child perceived his stolen contentpheromones as a hostile intruder, friction was inevitable.
“…Ha.”
It was beyond absurd that the child had called him ‘mister’ with such an insolent and ill-mannered attitude toward the parent raising him, but to think that was a side effect of carrying a child in an Alpha’s body. Though, in the first place, he wondered if that boy was truly the child in his womb. When Hyeon asked what he must do to ensure the child’s stable growth and prevent problems caused by the rejection reaction, his face turned pale upon hearing an even bleaker answer.
“…Because the pheromones of the child’s father serve as the most important nutrient and stabilizer for the child.”
“Stop beating around the bush and tell me exactly what I need to do.”
At Hyeon’s sigh-laden request, the old man answered in a solemn voice, as if delivering a death sentence.
“You must sleep with the Alpha who is the father of the child. Consistently… until the child’s growth reaches a stable phase.”
In other words, he knew exactly what that meant. Hyeon knew that Alpha pheromones were necessary for the child’s growth. And he couldn’t possibly not know that this didn’t simply mean sleeping in the same bed. It was part of the education he had received as an Alpha. The most recommended method was to ejaculate deep inside so that the pheromones could be delivered directly to the child. Closing his eyes tight at a situation he didn’t want to believe was reality, Hyeon asked again.
“…Is there really no other way?”
As Hyeon asked, trying to deny reality, the old man shook his head with a face that looked equally exhausted.
“As of now, there is none. Since Your Highness’s situation is entirely unprecedented….”
Which meant he had to mix bodies with that bastard again. And not just once or twice, but continuously. Hyeon closed his eyes tight at the reality he didn’t want to accept. His frail body swayed and fell helplessly onto the sheets.
It was several dozen minutes later when Hyeon opened his eyes again. Elder Statesman Noh left with heavy steps after telling Hyeon that if he didn’t make a decision within a week, he could no longer guarantee the child’s survival. It was now the point where he had to provide an answer to the problem. Hyeon let out a deep sigh and shook his head. He had dragged out the time, unable to readily decide to have the child, yet unable to firmly turn away. It was time to pay the price for ignoring the fact that there was likely no clever solution.
Trying to ignore the persistent tightness in his abdomen, he tried to sleep, and found the child curled up and collapsed in that familiar space. When Hyeon carefully touched the child’s forehead and brushed back his bangs, the child’s tightly furrowed eyelids twitched for a moment. However, as if he didn’t even have the strength left to resist someone touching his head, he merely lay limp, half-submerged in water, letting out ragged breaths.
“…….”
Previously, he would have complained or thrown a fit. It was hard to watch the child suffering in silence, curled up and unable to say a word. As Hyeon turned his head to look away, the child barely managed to reach out and grab Hyeon’s sleeve. Then, with great effort, he burrowed into Hyeon’s embrace. After all that time calling him ‘mister’ and showing wariness and rejection. Was he so frail that he didn’t even know who was staying by his side, or did he know and cling to him because Hyeon was the only one who could determine his life right now? Hyeon could not shake off the tiny hand clinging to him instead of the distant father. The way he desperately reached out, knowing he was the person who could kill him, resembled Hyeon too much—long ago, when he himself had been pushed beneath the water by his own parents’ hands.
Hyeon carefully reached out and clasped the child’s small, fern-like hand. Though it was a dream, the warmth of the body temperature was mixed with a pounding heartbeat. The rhythm, which seemed faster at first, gradually overlapped with Hyeon’s. The moment the slightly off-beat rhythms finally merged into one, he felt a strange sensation. He couldn’t believe that this small child, while instinctively wary of him, was relying entirely on him. Because the child was curled up quietly before him for the first time, things Hyeon hadn’t noticed before kept catching his eye. The tightly closed lips that looked exactly like the ones he had seen in the mirror when he was young, and the dimples that had disappeared as he became an adult—these proved that they were bound by blood, not strangers.
That said, Hyeon and the child weren’t identical in every detail, so it was easy to guess whose face the features he didn’t see in his own had come from.
“…….”
After watching the child in silence for a long time, Hyeon eventually picked up the child who had been half-submerged in water. Perhaps because it was a dream, the child was strangely light, as if he were holding a dandelion seed. It felt as if the child would vanish the moment Hyeon let go. Without realizing it, Hyeon held the child tight and closed his eyes, listening to the soft, rhythmic sound of the child’s breathing.
When he had become engaged to a woman with whom he had only exchanged a few greetings in places with many eyes, Hyeon had confidently stated [Read on Read BL Novels]that while he could fulfill his duties as a husband and father, he would not be able to be an emotionally good spouse or father. He could perform what needed to be done as a duty, but [visit our site]he couldn’t learn emotions he didn’t know. He thought that even if the day came when he saw his own child through an Omega, he would not be able to feel the emotion commonly called affection. Everything had been a mess with both his biological and adoptive parents.
But for some reason, the moment he held the child in his arms, it felt real that even if everyone else in the world was ultimately a stranger, this child was bound to him by an unbreakable tie. He didn’t know what whim had caused this. Though he had been abandoned even by his biological parents, the fact that there was one person in this world with a face that resembled his was suddenly comforting. He didn’t know what it was comforting him from. Because no one had ever told him.
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