By Zephyria Yi-tae’s eyelashes fluttered as if he was trying not to close his eyes. He had already taken his temperature, so he could just get up, but it was hard to take his eyes off me.
It had been like that ever since I witnessed the relief that spread across his entire face as soon as he found me. Was it because I was pleased by that gentle emotion? I wanted to stay like this a little longer…
“What’s so good about being sick?”
My voice came out brusquely.
As I slowly tried to raise my bent body, Yi-tae struggled to grab the hem of my clothes. The gaze that had been faint began to take on color. It was the same gaze that had once poured down like the Milky Way one day. Like the night sky I once loved.
“It’s not a dream.”
Like a spoiled child, Yi-tae pulled harder on the hem of my clothes. Then, he stretched out his arms and hugged me. His hot body clung to me as if craving me.
I thought I had come to my senses when I saw his eyes, but I guess not. When I subtly raised my body, Yi-tae followed, putting strength into his arms. Sigh. I deliberately let out a big sigh and patted his back.
How much pain must he be in to be like this?
“Were you going to do something worse if it was a dream? You sly dog.”
I needed to make some Egg porridge quickly so he could take his medicine. His fever didn’t seem normal. The parts touching me were burning so much. What had he been doing while his body was falling apart like this? Even I, who live with him, should have paid attention.
Even as I made jokes, my mind was racing.
“Is it okay to?”
I’ll just believe it’s a dream.
His mumbling voice quickly sank into the water. A hot, soft sensation touched the tip of my lips. Before I could even be surprised, it fell away with a thud. He must have used all his strength, as his panting breath tickled my downy hairs.
I was robbed blind with my eyes open. Yi-tae was still clinging to me, his tear-soaked eyes red.
“You, you…”
I was speechless, unable to get the words out properly. Compared to the countless things we had done, this was nothing. The biggest emotion I felt was embarrassment, rather than excitement or disgust.
Why did he ask for permission? He didn’t even wait for an answer.
“…Is it okay to?”
Yi-tae asked again. The aimless question rippled.
A kiss was nothing. I could pass it off as a foreign greeting. But is that really what he wants? Just now, if it had gone wrong, it would have been my lips.
Knowing it’s not a dream.
“No. I have to go make Egg porridge.”
His eyes blinked. Yi-tae, who had been silent, lowered his head slightly and leaned it against my neck. His hair tickled. If I kept doing this, I felt like I would start to feel strange, so I slowly pulled him away and laid him down.
As expected, it was too much for him, and Yi-tae quickly closed his eyes and gasped for breath.
Did I catch his fever? I had a feeling that I might suffer from a terrible cold too. I hurried out to the kitchen. I didn’t forget to close the door. Had the stagnant feelings flowed into me?
Yi-tae was originally a healthy person. I could count on one hand the number of times he had been seriously sick while dating me. Other than getting food poisoning from the seafood we ate together on a trip to the sea, he had never been hospitalized.
I made him porridge back then too. He complained a lot that he didn’t like plain porridge. Looking back, Yi-tae showed a new side of himself every time he was sick. He would whine for a hug, or be picky about food. It was cute, thankfully.
But this time, he doesn’t have a bad stomach, so I should make Egg porridge. It’s easy to make too.
Listening to the bubbling sound, I glanced at the door. It was still as quiet as if there was no one there. Even though he had dropped a bomb on me.
I rubbed the area that had been touched by his finger. The sensation that had already disappeared came back to me strangely. My stomach felt queasy. I didn’t know what to do, as if needles were piercing my inner wall.
Love is just a trick of hormones.
“I’m troubled, I’m troubled.”
I stirred it with a ladle. It seemed to be almost done, so I turned off the heat and sprinkled finely ground sesame seeds on top. A savory smell rose up. It seemed like he would be able to eat well even if he didn’t have an appetite.
I took the medicine and water and went back into Yi-tae’s room. He was frowning, as if he was in pain. I should have put a cold towel on him when I came out earlier. I was so flustered that I didn’t think that far.
I dragged a folding chair and sat next to him, placing the tray on the bedside table.
“Yi-tae, wake up.”
To prevent the same mishap from happening again, I shook him, keeping a little distance. His hazy eyes blinked again. His forehead was covered in cold sweat. It seemed like his condition was getting worse.
“I had a dream.”
Yi-tae was talking nonsense, his throat very hoarse. I expected what he would say next. He must be writing off the kiss he just gave me as a dream.
I put my hand behind his back and lifted him up. Yi-tae obediently followed my hand.
“Eat your food.”
“Did we kiss?”
“It’s not a big deal.”
I said calmly, handing him the spoon. Yi-tae was quietly looking down at the porridge. Hurry up and scoop it up and eat it. I even cooled it down for him to eat comfortably.
He didn’t pick up the spoon easily. He’s not going to say he doesn’t even have the strength to hold a spoon, is he? He was clinging to me just fine earlier.
“…It is a big deal. To me.”
“Okay, just eat first.”
“Feed me.”
His lower lip protruded slightly forward. What is he going to do when his fever goes down? Looking at Yi-tae these days, it seemed like he was made of audacity. He hugs me from behind, kisses me. Now he’s even asking to be fed.
I took the spoon from his hand. I could be just as brazen as him.
I scooped up the Egg porridge and blew on it. Come to think of it, I used to have a fantasy about nursing someone. When I was sick at home alone, I wanted someone to be this kind. I also wanted to do it when I grew up.
“Say ‘ah’.”
I held the spoon out in front of his mouth. Yi-tae opened his mouth like a young bird receiving food. I carefully put the porridge in his mouth. He ate it well without complaining.
I diligently moved the spoon with the mission of feeding him everything, and Yi-tae chewed and swallowed carefully. Judging by his flushed cheeks, it seemed like he was somewhat awake. He must be embarrassed even thinking about it.
“Oh, good boy. You ate it all. Was it good?”
I deliberately spoke in an exaggerated tone. His hair, which was deeply bowed, was subtly cute, so I stroked his head.
Yi-tae’s cheeks were so red that they looked like they were about to burst. He nodded and bowed his head deeply. I took out two cold medicine pills and handed them to Yi-tae. This time, he took them without refusing.
A playful mood suddenly rose up, and I said lightly.
“Why? I can even feed you the medicine.”
“…Stop it.”
His voice was hoarse and husky. His ears turned red and he rubbed his mouth with his hand. I wondered if I should make a cold towel and bring it, so I got up from my seat, but Yi-tae grabbed my wrist. He’s been quite bold with skinship lately.
“Feed me.”
His confident attitude made my head spin. Did I hear him right? No, feeding him is just putting the medicine in his mouth. Kwon Yi-tae is acting like this?
“Wait a minute, Yi-tae. Let me turn on the recording. Say it again. You won’t regret it tomorrow, will you? You can’t kick the blanket.”
“…Feed me, with your mouth.”
Ah.
I completely understood. I took his hand off me and came out of the room. He’ll eat it himself. My pupils trembled slightly. I told him to be straightforward, but I didn’t mean for him to act like a pervert.
My heart was pounding at the un-Confucian remark. Where did the Yi-tae I raised so well go? He’s completely crossing the line, saying he’s in a foreign country!
I found a small basin and filled it with cold water. Then, I poured in the ice I had bought in the refrigerator. I soaked a white towel in the very cold water and carried it back to the room. It was with a strong determination that I would not be shaken by anything he said.
“Did you take your medicine?”
I succeeded in pretending to be nonchalant. Yi-tae was leaning against the bed, staring at me intently. I felt burdened by his gaze and avoided his eyes.
“What about work? I’m fine.”
“You’re saying you’re fine when you’re sick like this?”
“…I don’t die from this anyway.”
Why do those words make me feel like my heart has been scratched? I put the basin down loudly next to the bed. The water that splashed out rippled and formed on the floor.
I roughly wrung out the towel and put it on his forehead. With a slap, water flowed down. Yi-tae was just looking at me, without resisting, whether the water flowed or not. The stream of water that flowed down his cheek dripped from his chin.
A small stain formed on the blanket.
I recalled the question he hadn’t answered and spoke to him again. It felt like rough sand was packed tightly in my throat.
“I asked if you took your medicine.”