By Zephyria Gyeoul smiled brightly, as if my discomfort had been a figment of my imagination. That appearance was even more unfamiliar. Gyeoul, who was standing in the middle, grabbed my awkwardly outstretched hand from above and pulled it down.
It wasn’t a force strong enough to cause pain, but it wasn’t light either. Unlike him. …It really wasn’t like Gyeoul.
I’m making him uncomfortable.
It was inevitable. No one would welcome their ex-boyfriend, who only caused them pain, getting close to their friend. Since only the two of us knew the inside story, I had to follow Gyeoul’s opinion entirely. I had no complaints about it. Everything Gyeoul did to me was welcome.
However, Michael, who didn’t know the situation, didn’t seem to mind at all, even though he could have been upset. He wiggled his prominent nose, smelling the new scent. As if it were a momentous task.
He casually threw the scent strip he didn’t like into a small trash can and tossed out a light remark.
“Winter, are you jealous?”
There was no subject or object. The unfamiliar word came up as a topic of conversation once again.
At that moment, two women were about to pass through the aisle where we were standing. Giving way to them, Michael picked up the perfume he had just smelled again and checked the label. He was as composed as someone who hadn’t said anything.
His innocent question scratched at my heart, which had already been torn to shreds. It seemed that I was the only one who gasped, not the indifferent person involved.
“Because you didn’t pick one for me. I’m closer to you than he is.”
Gyeoul very naturally excluded him and pointed to me as the object of jealousy. I was reminded again in moments like these. That I could no longer receive his affection. To Gyeoul, I was just an awkward person, someone who couldn’t give him positive feelings.
Michael couldn’t hide the curve on his lips.
“Okay. Then I’ll just make a recommendation. It would be a waste of the time I’ve spent looking. And buying it is up to Quinn, right?”
“Yes. If you could pick one for me…”
Once again, Gyeoul’s hand tapped mine. It was a much more emotional gesture than before. I didn’t show it and calmly continued the interrupted words. As if that was how I was going to answer anyway.
“I’ll think about it.”
“Honestly, the second perfume Winter picked was perfect for Quinn. I’m getting competitive trying to find something that suits you better than that. So, who are you really going to give that to?”
“I wonder.”
Michael carefully pondered for a while and picked out a few perfumes, handing them to me. Even though he sighed that the recommended scents weren’t very satisfactory, he suddenly went somewhere else, saying that he had something else to look at right away.
He didn’t tell me where he was going, but he was tall and his clothes looked remarkably good, so I could easily spot him.
I put the perfume in my arms back on the display. I appreciated the kindness, but I didn’t want to buy it while ignoring Gyeoul’s words. As Gyeoul said, I preferred the scent of lotion to perfume.
When Michael left and it became quiet, Gyeoul pressed his temples. Seeing that the speed of his blinking had slowed down significantly, it seemed that the accumulated fatigue was belatedly rushing in.
I could barely keep my twitching hand next to my leg. If I wasn’t careful, my lustful body might reach out on its own. I really didn’t want to do that. No matter how much of a hopeless bastard I was, I wasn’t confident I could endure the contradiction.
Gyeoul, who had left the crowded area, leaned against a cold pillar. With his body relaxed from the tension, he scanned the items he had purchased.
He said to me without looking at me.
“Don’t buy perfume.”
“Okay.”
“I picked it as a thank you for you. Because I don’t want to owe you.”
For some reason, he spoke at length. His slightly pursed lips told me in detail how he was feeling. I knew you too well, more than I thought. Just as you know me that well.
I could easily tell that he was very embarrassed right now. Gyeoul would know that uncomfortable fact as well.
I moved the muscles that were prone to distorting as best as I could. To look trustworthy.
“Okay, thank you. I’ll take it well.”
“Use it well. Don’t save it.”
I thought Gyeoul would get angry if I refused, using vague guilt as an excuse. I would have liked to give him everything without any compensation, but if Gyeoul didn’t want that kind of relationship, it was my job to gladly agree.
Gyeoul coolly handed over a small paper bag. I received it with both hands to hide my trembling heart. It was heavier and more precious than anything else in the world. Why did I let go of it? I couldn’t have not known that it was so bright and precious if I was alive.
As he asked, I should use it this time instead of just keeping it. I will remember you forever today. It was a good thing that the preservation period of the senses was longer than that of reason. Fortunately, I didn’t need your permission for this decision.
In fact, I knew. Even if our meeting continued by chance, days like today would be repeated. You won’t be able to hate me with all your might, and I’ll barely survive by relying on that goodness.
I can only approach your tolerance and generosity, so I might not be able to see him anymore. Even if I run into you again by chance, you won’t greet me like you do now. It was a miraculous event that was only allowed this time to attract your attention with persistent gaze.
“Should I send the groceries by courier?””
“Even if it’s you, I can’t give you my home address.”
It was a calm voice mixed with laughter.
I had to think hard about what the true meaning was. Whether I should take you to my house as it is, or promise another meeting during the short trip. Again, the choice was Gyeoul’s. It was not something I could decide.
“Yi-tae, spray the perfume. Let’s see if it suits you.”
Instead of suggesting a solution, he seemed to be trying to return to the previous topic of conversation. Just a few minutes ago, I had resolved not to just save it, but now that I was about to open it, I felt a sense of regret.
If it’s the last gift…
Gyeoul’s command was absolute. I hung the paper bag on my wrist and opened the neatly packaged white box. A transparent glass bottle, illuminated by the light, revealed its appearance. A bluish aura lingered like a very dark dawn.
I hesitated for a moment, holding the bottle in my hand. I was supposed to spray it on my wrist, but I was reluctant to reveal it. I moved it to my left hand and sprayed it on my right wrist a couple of times. Starting with a cool and refreshing top note, the heavier and bitter bottom note gradually wrapped around the scent.
‘I sprayed it, but…’
I completely exposed my wrist and looked at Gyeoul. He lowered his eyes and didn’t look at me, as if he was deep in thought. The sound of the spray was quieter than the noise of the store, but it echoed clearly.
If he’s not interested, wouldn’t it be okay to put my clothes down? Just as I was about to lower my rolled-up sleeves, Gyeoul suddenly reached out to me. His neat white palm came into view.
“Let’s smell it. To see if it suits you. Give it to me.”
I clenched the hand I couldn’t reach out to Gyeoul. My veins were visible as much as I gave strength. I knew everything from the smell of his skin to the smell of his private parts, but for some reason, I was embarrassed. My waist tightened at the thought of being in close contact with a part of him.
His fingers intertwined with my wrist as if urging me. I slowly released my strength and entrusted myself to him. Gyeoul pulled my wrist and buried his nose in my skin. A ticklish breath ran over my skin and stimulated my nerves. I hope he doesn’t feel my racing pulse.
I didn’t know what to do with my fingers and twitched. Even though he could clearly see that movement, Gyeoul was just slowly smelling the scent.
It seemed that I was the only one who felt this act was overwhelming and scary.
“…How is it?”
The voice that broke through the tension was only faint.
Gyeoul’s face slowly moved away. As if regretful, his thumb lightly rubbed the soft skin.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I could feel that my lower body, which had become sensitive to the stimulating touch, was excited. This was a disaster. The liquid that formed on the tip of my erect cock soaked my underwear in a circle.
With the determination that I must not get caught, I tightened my thighs. It was fortunate that the coat was long. There was no way to deny the beast-like throbbing existence.
In times like this, it helped to think about how much of a piece of trash I was. If I was filled with guilt and disgust, I would calm down a little.
“It’s good.”
With that concise answer, Gyeoul completely moved away. The heat that started at the end of my ears spread to my entire face. I lowered my head deeply. I might really cry this time. The turbulent waves of my heart splashed from my feet and rose up.
An excitement that was even more overwhelming than before consumed my entire body. Yes, this was a disaster for Gyeoul. For someone who deserves to die to love himself, how disgusting would it feel?
For someone like me to love you…