By Zephyria 
The store lights flickered and gradually went out. Only when complete darkness had fallen and the streetlights flickered did he brush the dust off his butt and get up.
He crumpled the empty paper cup in his hand. Even though it was spring, the temperature difference was large, so the nights were similar to late winter weather. The spring clothes he had dressed up in were quite thin and did not keep out the cold.
I should have worn thicker clothes. I get cold easily. A vague regret and self-loathing washed over him. He swallowed the slight stuffiness in his nose. He rubbed the tip of his nose with his finger.
The disappointment was greater than expected. Enough to feel very painful.
At first, he thought he was late because of traffic. As is often the case during commuting hours, the road could easily be blocked. So he could arrive later than the appointed time. Of course, he didn’t receive a call explaining the situation. He tried to think positively, thinking he might be busy driving.
He tried to trust Yi-tae, who had been with him through the years.
He stared at the Little light bulbs hanging from the familiar wooden building and slumped down on the emergency stairs next to it. There was no suitable place to go or sit near the store. The only good thing was that the warm spring air was still gently touching his toes. Of course, it would soon be surprised by the cold wind and run away.
I asked to meet here to somehow hold onto your heart, which is slowly scattering somewhere…….
‘Ugh, I’m lonely.’
Suddenly, an awkward feeling washed over him.
Many couples visited the street where the store was located. It seemed to be because there were many restaurants that were known for their good atmosphere. Even now, three groups of couples walking closely together passed in front of him. Yi-tae and he were not the type to be conscious of others, so they used to walk close together too. Very affectionately, like those couples.
But thinking about the current situation, it felt like such a long time ago, like looking at a faded photo whose shape could not even be identified. They were still together until just last fall.
[Yi-tae]
[Why aren’t you coming?]
[If something urgent came up, I’ll go in alone]
[If not, I’ll keep waiting]
[I’ll hold my breath and wait until I hear from you! Huff!]
[Yi-tae, my vision is blurry……]
[Yes, honey, I’m dying]
[Gulp]
I left such desperate messages, so even if he can’t come here, he’ll at least reply. That’s the least he can do. Even in relationships with people, not just lovers, it’s right to give advance notice if you’re going to break a promise. So this is…….
The fluffy, reddish-orange clouds looked just like freshly baked baguettes. Then, let’s think of the pine tree below as my favorite drink. Hmm……. He held up the transparent acrylic with Blangssot Baby drawn on it and took several pictures against the clouds. He uploaded the best one to SNS.
(Photo)
You met a good Hyung, so you’ve gone all the way to the sky and made it big~
#Our_BlBe_Boosting_Project_Day_1
#So_when_is_BlBe’s_dad_coming?
Originally, food was supposed to go in this empty space, not clouds. He rubbed the photo. Your dad will be here soon. Making such a cute baby wait!
‘BlBe, I’m sorry. Let’s eat delicious food a little later. When your dad comes.’
He consoled the saddened BlBe and muttered to himself. If he didn’t do this, he felt like he would really be alone. His heart became parched at the unfamiliar sensation.
He put his card in his wallet and shoved it into his back pocket. The store seemed to have filled up most of the empty seats, and the bustling noise was faintly audible. Suddenly, he wanted to hide his face from those happy people. He couldn’t even guess what kind of expression he was making.
The world became completely dark, and customers left the store one by one. With quite satisfied expressions.
The light seeping through the window coldly fell on him. What an gloomy expression he must have. He didn’t want to imagine what he looked like now.
After some more time passed, the part-time worker came out of the store and started sweeping the front of the door with a broom. As if closing up. The dirty traces left by uncivilized people were swept away. The part-time worker, who was picking up trash with a bored face, was startled when she found him and let out a short scream.
〈……Eek!〉
〈I’m sorry for startling you.〉
He put on a fairly friendly face and spoke to her. He wanted to let her know that he was not a dangerous person. Anyone would be surprised to see a man in his 30s sitting in a dark corner. He should be thankful that she didn’t report him to the police.
The part-time worker carefully spoke to him, looking at him.
〈Um…… you’re not supposed to be here……〉
〈Ah, really? I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’ll leave now.〉
〈……Yes! Ah, no, you can stay longer! We’re closing up anyway…….〉
The part-time worker, who seemed very flustered, changed her words while waving her hands. She looked so young, as if she had just turned twenty, which made him feel a little sentimental. They also had such a fresh time.
〈Then I won’t refuse and wait a few more minutes before leaving. I’ll probably…… be leaving soon. I’m sorry. I didn’t interfere with your business, did I?〉
〈Interfere, no! Ah, that’s why the customers today…….〉
The part-time worker muttered to herself and shook her head. Then, as if she was embarrassed about something again, she hurriedly went back into the store. Still leaving the dustpan in front of him. It would be a bit awkward to hand it over in the store…….
He should just wait until that part-time worker comes back.
Left alone again, he blankly looked up at the night sky. He couldn’t see a single star. Seoul is too bright, so it must be a desolate city where even the stars can’t be seen. Just like Yi-tae. Not showing up or contacting him until the store closes. Is he even still there?
At that moment, the part-time worker who had gone inside came out quickly. Holding a cup of hot coffee with steam rising from it in her hand.
〈Th, th…… this is a service! Thank you!〉
The part-time worker abruptly handed him the cup and ran away with the dustpan. A warm heat lingered under his hand as he received it in a daze.
Even a stranger is showing him this kindness. If he couldn’t come, he should have at least contacted him. He let out a hollow laugh. He should have sent a message instead of a text. Then he could have checked if he had read it. He shouldn’t have called every hour. He should have called until he answered. Would he have answered then?
The part-time worker didn’t come out again. He drank the lukewarm coffee in one gulp and got up. He had no regrets about the impossible.
His heart was pounding like crazy from the caffeine.
Painfully, to the point of being a bit overwhelming.
∗ ∗ ∗
He felt strange as he drove home. Something was welling up inside his chest.
Did he forget? Really? He even replied. But he forgot the promise…….
Son of a bitch. He wouldn’t have gotten amnesia from being hit by a rock while walking down the street. If that was the reason, he could accept it. The current situation. But if there was such an urgent matter, he would have called him. They had set each other as emergency contact numbers. So it couldn’t be a health problem.
Then why?
He forcibly restrained his right foot from pressing down on the accelerator. His thighs were trembling. What emotion is this?
Somehow, he felt like he was looking at the cross-section of a collapsed snowman. The sincerity and excitement that someone had worked hard to build up had been completely shattered. He tried his best not to speed. His life was precious. Even more than this petty resentment.
‘Has he come home? It’s already past 10.’
The streetlights disappeared in a straight line at high speed. As if they were connected. Without knowing where they were heading.
At that moment, a car changed lanes without even turning on its blinker, sticking its front end out. He was startled and honked the horn loudly at the car in front. Paang! A loud warning sound went out sharply.
Promises were meant to be kept. It was natural to use the blinker when changing lanes. Yes. Promises had to be kept.
Surprised by the loud sound, which he had honked with all his heart, the car that had cut in belatedly turned on its hazard lights. He tried to calm his mind, which was boiling with anger. Even though he was clearly very angry, he felt generous at such a minor blink.
If you made a mistake, you could apologize. He was willing to accept it. It wasn’t too late yet. There was still a strong trust between them. If he explained the reason well, he was willing to understand. The driver of the car in front probably couldn’t see it well because it was dark, but he nodded his head greatly. Saying it was okay.
〈Yes, that can happen. But if you were that busy, you should have gone yesterday. I almost took a direct train to the afterlife.〉
He couldn’t stop himself, even though he realized that he had been talking to himself more often lately. He felt like he had to keep muttering something to escape from loneliness. Even if there was no one to answer him.
He slowly reduced his speed and entered the apartment complex. It was already full of parked cars up to the roadside. Would Yi-tae really be home? He didn’t want him to be there, and he didn’t want him not to be there. He couldn’t even know what his heart wanted.
Change of heart was scary. Even a kind person could turn cold in an instant. Like someone who cherished their child all their life but wouldn’t even give them food once they were out of favor.
Had Yi-tae also changed? As if to prove that nothing is forever.