By Zephyria 
Lunchtime. As usual, we lined up for lunch. Normally, I’d use the waiting time to review English vocabulary, but today, my small vocabulary book wouldn’t stay in my hands. I shoved the book into my uniform’s front pocket and stared blankly at the school grounds.
The sunlight was blinding. Students who had already finished eating were gathered on the field, playing basketball noisily. Even though I didn’t like sports, seeing them play peacefully somehow put my mind at ease.
Daily life is truly precious… I wish I could have seen Seong Hae-min play basketball during the sports festival. But are they all good at basketball? Lost in my rambling thoughts, I heard a commotion at the front of the line.
“Ah~ Hey, kid, why are you playing like an amateur?”
Wondering what was happening, my unfocused gaze snapped back to the front of the line. Who was speaking with such a typical extra-villain line? It was third-year sunbaes, hands shoved into their pockets defiantly.
“The sunbae who was suspended is back and must be tired. Let’s make way quickly, shall we?”
They talk about suspension like it’s a field trip… As expected, people I don’t want to associate with.
While cutting in line at lunchtime was a common, minor offense, perhaps because I had recently interviewed with a reporter about delinquents, I paid more attention than usual.
I checked the name of the sunbae tapping the student in front of him. Kim Un-gyeong. Beside him was Park… The name tag was defaced, so the name was blurry. I wondered if Seong Hae-min would know. Silently, I committed the name to memory and looked away.
I decided to focus and memorize English words again. As I took out my vocabulary book, the chatter of students behind me, who had noticed the commotion at the front, tickled my ears.
“Didn’t the Iljinhoe get reported recently? Shouldn’t they be more careful?”
“Are those sunbaes the type to care about that stuff?”
My heart skipped a beat, and I listened to their conversation.
In fact, it was the Four Heavenly Kings who had submitted the voluntary report to the police.
After hearing from Min Si-hu that the police and education offices were planning a full investigation into Iljinhoe and school violence, they decided to get ahead of it. They had clearly tried to keep it quiet, but I didn’t know how the rumors had spread.
It seemed there was a reason my vocabulary book wasn’t staying in my hands. I quietly closed the book and put it back in my pocket.
“But I heard the atmosphere among the third-years has been bad lately.”
“Why? Because of the report?”
“No. I don’t know the details, but I heard they fought amongst themselves.”
“But didn’t they do that often? Something about sorting out the hierarchy?”
“It seems different from that? Or maybe not? I don’t know.”
The chatter quickly moved to other topics. I listened with one ear as they discussed school, classes, and games, and stared blankly at the school grounds.
How did the rumor about the voluntary report spread? Based on the circumstances, it seemed the Four Heavenly Kings were more friendly than hostile, which was the only relief.
As I fiddled with the vocabulary book in my chest pocket, I tensed with anticipation.
❖ ❖ ❖
The final exams proceeded amidst this subtle tug-of-war of tension. Perhaps influenced by the rumors, the atmosphere was much more chaotic than during the midterm exams.
Even I couldn’t concentrate well on the finals, as the Four Heavenly Kings were being summoned by the sunbaes almost daily since the rumor of a voluntary reporter spread. Fortunately, it wasn’t revealed that it was their doing, but it seemed the sunbaes were hunting them down to find out who the reporter was. Being summoned every day was unsettling.
The third-years were apparently branding self-reporters as traitors, informants, spies, and the like, spouting talk of execution and revenge. Hearing such things only made me angrier at them. And I grew anxious.
Every time I was summoned, Seong Hae-min and Lee Beom told me not to worry, but I couldn’t help but feel uneasy, thinking I might have made a wrong judgment. Still, unlike before, they had gained some standing, and hearing that even the Sunbaes couldn’t harm them without reason brought me some relief.
It was right after the final exams, which passed by in a haze, with no one sure if they were solving or guessing the problems, that Seong Hae-min returned covered in bruises.
❖ ❖ ❖
“What the hell were you guys doing standing by?”
The hotter my insides churned, the colder my head became.
Standing in the living room, I shouted sharply at the other three sitting side-by-side on the sofa. Not a single one of them could meet my gaze with a clear conscience. Their unblemished faces were dark.
Seong Hae-min had apparently tried his best to hide his injuries from me, but because it was summer and he had no choice but to wear short sleeves, I discovered them.
I was angry that he tried to hide his injuries, and angry that he and Lee Beom had conspired to lie to me before to reassure me, but the one I was truly angry at was myself.
It was none other than myself who had quickly brushed it off, as if waiting for Seong Hae-min to say something like, ‘Yeah, he’ll handle it fine. Don’t worry about it and just focus on my exam.’
“Were you just watching? Couldn’t you have stopped it?”
Even though I knew this behavior was wrong, I lashed out at the Four Heavenly Kings as if taking out my frustration. I felt sorry for them for silently enduring my anger, but I couldn’t control this rage. I ran my hand through my hair and paced the living room.
“I’m sorry.”
“At least make an excuse!”
“……”
When I barked coldly, Lee Beom dropped his head. Min Si-hu nudged Lee Beom’s arm, his voice trembling.
“Hey, Lee Beom… why aren’t you saying anything? You were the one trying the hardest to stop him…”
Min Si-hu urged him on. But Lee Beom only opened and closed his mouth a few times before falling silent. Lee Beom, unable to utter a word, ran a hand through his hair with a troubled expression. Finally, Min Si-hu’s eyes welled up with tears as he continued.
“I tried to stop him, I really did… but every time I tried to step in, Hae-min told us not to, saying it would turn into a mutual assault if we intervened, and that he was fine…”
I felt suffocated.
What Seong Hae-min had told them was exactly what I had been repeatedly emphasizing to Seong Hae-min recently. I told him not to retaliate and to ignore them, so that the issue wouldn’t be blurred or distorted by claims of mutual fault if it were reported in the media…
‘It was… my fault.’
My head went cold as if ice water had been poured over it. I felt like I was going crazy. Suppressing the rising heat in my breath, I asked,
“Why… why did they beat him like that? Do you know?”
My voice choked as I stammered the question. Min Si-hu hesitantly continued. Tears welled in his brown eyes.
“They said… you consulted with Teacher Kwang-yong…”
“…What?”
“They said you weren’t consulting with him because you wanted to leave, but because you were the one who reported yourself…”
I could barely hear the rest. My vision went dark. Taking deep, even breaths to control my racing heart, I quickly tried to piece things together.
“Who said I consulted with the gym teacher?”
“The Sunbaes.”
Those guys knew I consulted with the gym teacher?
I hadn’t even told Jeon Jae-hyung, who had brought up the gym teacher to me, about my consultation with him. How?
They looked at me with expressions of bewilderment, as if they had no idea how the Sunbaes knew something they themselves didn’t. I quickly recalled the people I had encountered during my consultation with Teacher Yuk. Aside from a few students lingering at the convenience store, the only one who definitely knew was Yeon Su-hwan.
‘Could it be….’
A chill ran down my spine.
Suppressing the ‘what if’ thoughts, I opened my trembling lips. Hoping it wasn’t true.
“Let’s put that aside for now… You said you’d keep quiet about reporting yourselves to the police, but how did the rumors get out?”
Lee Beom and Min Si-hu shook their heads. They seemed to have no clue where the rumors originated.
“That…”
Just then, Jeon Jae-hyung slowly raised his hand. The three pairs of eyes turned to the figure at the edge of the sofa.
“I think… Su-hwan Sunbae.”
“Yeon Su-hwan Sunbae?”
A shiver went down my spine. It was an unexpected name, yet it strangely fit together like a puzzle. I uncrossed my arms. Jeon Jae-hyung continued.
“He used to have… connections with the police. So…”
I furrowed my brow and interpreted Jeon Jae-hyung’s words.
“You mean Sunbae knows people in the police, and that’s how he knew you reported yourselves?”
“That it was us…”
“I don’t know if he knew it was specifically you guys, but he could have easily known that there was a self-reporter?”
As I snatched up his meaning, Jeon Jae-hyung nodded.
It seemed that Yeon Su-hwan was the one who told the third-years about my consultation with the gym teacher. But why? My mind became a tangled mess.
‘He said he’d help if he could….’
He had shown excessive kindness, saying I resembled someone, but I never expected him to do this behind my back. The urge to confront Yeon Su-hwan immediately surged, but I suppressed it. Arguing would only reveal that I suspected him, making things more dangerous. I only had circumstantial evidence, and arguing would yield nothing.
However, the moment Yeon Su-hwan’s name came up, Min Si-hu, who had been watching nervously, hesitantly protested.