By Zephyria 
“Then let’s take it next time.”
Tae-hwon took off the sweater he was wearing and picked up the T-shirt he usually wore. Then, he left Kwon Rae-i behind and strode out of the dressing room.
“I’m going to the bathroom for a while.”
The disappointed Kwon Rae-i followed him, calling out, ‘Tae-hwon, Tae-hwon,’ but Tae-hwon didn’t answer and went out into the hallway and went straight into the bathroom and locked himself in. Even after locking the door, he didn’t feel very stable.
He goes back to the very first point.
Is Kwon Rae-i really sane?
‘There’s no way he can be okay.’
Tae-hwon’s conclusion about him was the same as what he had thought at first.
Woo Tae-hwon, the person he liked so much, went crazy, and jumped up and down, betrayed Kwon Rae-i and even killed his biological father, so how could he be in his right mind in that situation? It probably wasn’t possible. Kwon Rae-i is not in a state where he can make proper judgments right now.
Just as Tae-hwon had caused a big accident and lost his memory, Kwon Rae-i must have been greatly hurt and broken somewhere in his mind due to the same incident.
‘The young master is sick.’
At least that’s what Tae-hwon judged.
His extreme words and actions and way of thinking were like that, and he was far from normal from the beginning. Then, it was safe to say that he was not in a state where he could make rational judgments.
‘No wonder he kept talking about such a dreamlike future.’
Reality escape, is that it?
Are you going to hug and hide Woo Tae-hwon like this and be punished together when you are caught by Gyeongjeong?
Did he know the ending and continue to talk about dreamlike things and cling to it? Like a terminally ill person who will soon face death.
‘So… it didn’t matter whether my memory came back or not.’
In an instant, he lost all his strength. It felt like the puzzle pieces were being put together in his head, and the doubts that had been lingering all along were resolved.
Just as Tae-hwon was looking forward to a future where he would pay for his sins and end it, Kwon Rae-i was looking at a different kind of ending. What was the ending he drew? Was he planning to hide Woo Tae-hwon in his arms until the end, buy more time for a few months, evade Gyeongjeong, and then suffer together?
If not, there was no way to explain all of this.
‘The young master might get seriously hurt. He might become disabled, or he might… die.’
The end of an accomplice who hid Gyeongjeong’s wanted person was obvious.
Besides, Kwon Rae-i is Chairman Kwon Jung-il’s biological son, but from a concubine. Would a despicable bastard like Kwon Sang-oh just let Kwon Rae-i live peacefully? Especially now that he’s even left the Separate House and completely left Gyeongjeong to become independent? It wouldn’t be strange if they took this opportunity to make him a cripple. And if things went wrong, he could really die.
So, in other words, Kwon Rae-i is willing to pay the price just to hide Woo Tae-hwon.
To buy a few months to spend peaceful moments with Tae-hwon. To have passionate sex, intense kisses, and to precariously maintain an ambiguous relationship that’s not quite lovers, Kwon Rae-i is willing to throw himself away for cheap.
A knock broke the silence.
Tae-hwon leaned against the locked door, his dry lips moving. He felt complicated and miserable. But he couldn’t reveal his feelings to Kwon Rae-i right now.
“I’m fine. Everything’s alright.”
He cleared his throat and replied calmly.
“Is it because of Kwon Sang-oh? Or is it because of me? I think I was too stubborn. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
“No. I’m really fine. I was just a little taken aback. I’ll wash my face and come out right away.”
Tae-hwon turned on the faucet and washed his face with cold water. He shook off the complicated thoughts that were digging into his brain and focused on the situation at hand. There was no reason to waver now. He had been prepared for the moment he would act, and now was that moment. Now, he would just face it.
‘I have to leave. For real.’
His right arm was still in rehabilitation, but it wasn’t too cumbersome. Nothing else hurt, and his stamina had mostly recovered. So, all that was left was to leave this house and go to Gyeongjeong on his own two feet.
And Tae-hwon already had an escape plan in his head.
‘The regular check-up is coming up soon…’
In three days, Han-seon would come. To examine Tae-hwon. Then, he would try to escape according to his plan.
‘…Three days.’
Just three days.
If the time left before an eternal farewell was three days, would it be long or short? Some moments cannot be prepared for, no matter how much you brace yourself. Maybe you just have to do it and endure it.
Tae-hwon wiped the water from his face with a towel, opened the bathroom door with a normal expression, and came out. Kwon Rae-i carefully examined Tae-hwon’s expression and demeanor and repeatedly asked if he was okay, but Tae-hwon just calmly brushed it off.
***
There was one thing he realized while living his short if long, twenty-odd years of life.
Some crises just have to be accepted.
People always praise effort and admire overcoming, but the value of embracing the impossible should not be ignored.
Woo Tae-hwon didn’t know when he realized that truth.
Was it when he was eight years old, facing his mother’s death at the funeral? Could young Tae-hwon have overcome his mother’s death with effort? No. He just accepted it.
Or was it when he was sixteen, taking care of his gambling-addicted father? If Tae-hwon had tried, could he have overcome his father’s gambling addiction? No. He just accepted it.
Setting fire to the Gambling Den was just an act of spiteful venting. Even at that age, he knew the truth buried deep in his heart. His father was a hopeless bum, and no matter what Tae-hwon did, he wouldn’t be able to escape his gambling addiction.
Then, what about when he was twenty? After wandering, he came to the gates of Gyeongjeong on his own two feet and knelt down. Was Tae-hwon’s behavior at that time the result of overcoming with effort, or was it the result of accepting and bearing his life like a punishment?
A life at the very bottom.
If anyone could choose, no one in the world would choose Woo Tae-hwon’s life.
It was terrible and cruel, but that was the bitter truth.
Woo Tae-hwon gave up from the beginning, resigned himself, and eventually accepted his fallen state. And from there, he lived again. It wasn’t like Tae-hwon looked down on gang life. He never thought that gang life, the life of gangsters, would be easy.
He didn’t go there thinking he could take Gyeongjeong lightly and use it as a mere escape.
The debt that Woo Tae-hwon carried, 200 million won in Korean currency. That was Tae-hwon’s price and the price of his life. It was the price of dedicating the life of one human being, Woo Tae-hwon.
When he set foot in Gyeongjeong, he had the debt cleared with the help of Chairman Kwon Jung-il, and from the moment he started living in Gyeongjeong’s headquarters, Tae-hwon abandoned any lingering feelings for a peaceful and comfortable life. Of course. As a member of Gyeongjeong, Tae-hwon now had to be prepared to harm people on orders from above, or to be injured in return, or even to be arrested and go to jail.
Was that decision easy?
At just twenty years old, at a time when others were enjoying their youth in college, Woo Tae-hwon wandered around factories, was chased by debtors, was beaten, was cursed at, and had his livelihood taken away. There was nowhere to breathe easily. No matter who he met, a normal human relationship could not last, and people either feared and avoided Tae-hwon or tried to use him, one or the other.
So Tae-hwon could confidently say. Some crises just have to be accepted. There is a limit to trying to fix a broken life.
‘Yeah… This was the life I was going to end up with someday.’
Living as a member of Gyeongjeong, how good could it have been? With the future, miserable thirty-year-old Woo Tae-hwon serving as a cautionary tale. That bastard’s footsteps were teaching him reality.
The mindset he had now would soon be corrupted and degenerate. He would wield a knife, hone his violence, and eventually become a murderer who even killed the chairman who had taken him in. So, it was right to step back at this point.
Now, all that the ten-years-lost Woo Tae-hwon could do was one thing.
‘I have to accept it.’
It would be a lie to say that he had no regrets, but even that, Tae-hwon could accept.