By Zephyria 
The summer ball was Empress Kate’s responsibility. While balls were originally parties for finding a partner, the seats for the Princes and Princesses were, as always, arranged on a high platform. Since neither Richard nor I needed to—nor could we—wander around searching for partners, our job for the day was to remain stationed in a place where people could see us clearly.
There were three seats, but Lucilla had vanished, having fled as she always did. Since two of us had to fill a space meant for three, we couldn’t place anyone in the center; so, as usual, we left the middle seat empty and sat on opposite ends.
Had the orchestra changed starting this year? From the beginning until now, a relentless feast of provocative chromaticism, more suited for chamber music, continued without pause. The lively and witty tones blended with the laughter of elegantly dressed men and women, filling the space.
Isn’t it about time for my musical tastes to age? My expression hardened in irritation, as it always did whenever the pieces Kate selected happened to align with my tastes. No, this was no time for pointless irritation. I had to make this wasted time even slightly useful.
Taking a breath, I looked forward and scanned the faces of the crowd. Did Belmoor pair up with Rodian? This was the first time I’d seen those two together. Was the marriage between Celine and Jetfer planned for next year? I should tell Theodore to keep an eye on that. And as for Crowell…
“Rubel.”
Even if a statue standing in the hallway had spoken to me, it wouldn’t have been this chilling.
I slowly turned my gaze. Richard, sitting one chair away, was staring quietly at me. As always, he couldn’t look me straight in the eye. Ha. I struggled not to sneer. Why suddenly do this when he’s this terrified?
I stared silently at him as he said nothing after calling my name. White tendons strained across the back of his hand gripping the armrest. After slowly scanning his forehead glistening with cold sweat, his pale cheeks, and his tense hand, he still seemed to be waiting for my response.
“What.”
“…How is the Academy?”
“…Ha.”
He wants to play the role of an older brother? Sneering, I returned my gaze to the center of the ballroom.
However, Richard was still staring at the tip of my chin, and he added one more comment with a thin, despicable smile.
“Do you like that Young Master that much?”
This ignorant, shameless son of a bitch.
He thinks he’s found a weakness. It was true that I had hovered around Mikael quite a bit. It was because I had been so desperate that I couldn’t consider how my actions would appear to others.
But Mikael wasn’t in front of me right now, and I was generally good at hiding my emotions.
I didn’t bother looking back at him. I neither tensed my body nor relaxed it. Simply looking where I had been looking, as if I had heard something utterly trivial, I remained silent for five breaths before opening my mouth.
“Who?”
“You know, the one famous for being a beauty.”
“Ah… Yes, I do. When someone offers something good, of course I like it.”
“…”
“Why. Did that bastard get tired of you already?”
I curled the corners of my mouth and glanced at him. I wanted to appear haughty and arrogant. I wanted him to think that even if he touched Mikael, I wouldn’t budge. Richard stared at me with a somewhat stiff expression.
Seeing him grovel like this, it seems something isn’t going well. Wesley Kiadris hasn’t been seen in the capital much lately. I thought Richard had ordered him to do something, but it means he’s acting independently to the point that this bastard is anxious. I should dig into that.
Scanning Richard’s pale face up and down, I added one more remark.
“That’s great.”
The man couldn’t utter a peep and looked down. That’s why you shouldn’t pick a fight.
Fortunately, the people currently around Mikael were only those who had been somewhat vetted. It was thanks to Shayden Rose filtering them first, leaving only those with good personalities and grades by Mikael’s side.
Starting next semester, I’ll have to pay more attention to ensure Richard doesn’t throw any more fits. I had learned quite a lot from a short conversation. It was very briefly pleasant and very long-lastingly unpleasant.
* * *
I received a reply from Mikael.
My heart already fluttered at the sight of the familiar handwriting.
Out of the seven letters I had written, intoxicated by the dawn air, I had carefully chosen and sent the one that felt the most composed—the one with the least emotion and the fewest mentions of wanting to see him. Even though I was the one who sent the letter first, receiving the reply made me feel as if I owned the world.
And for good reason; while I was in the midst of an unrequited love, I wasn’t stupid. Mikael didn’t particularly enjoy writing, and he cherished the time spent with his family deeply. Even when I hung out with Mikael at the Academy, hadn’t I always been the only one groveling in affection? That’s why I thought there might be no reply.
Still, we’ve definitely become closer than before. Wondering whether this was a prayer or a prediction, I carefully slit the heavy envelope with a paper knife. Then, I slowly engraved the written words into my eyes.
Mikael is at House Servel right now.
I thought it was strange that not a single person among the three Servel siblings participated in this year’s summer social party. How old was Leila Servel this year? No, I can’t let my guard down with Logan Servel either; he can enchant even someone like me…
Whether it was a fit of anger or love, I habitually suppressed the surging jealousy and slowly read through the subsequent boasts about his younger siblings. Reading Mikael’s writing, pressed down with a powerful hand stroke letter by letter, felt as if the emptiness that had filled my chest all day was finally being filled.
However, Mikael’s update on his current status ended after exactly one page.
“Heh.”
Despite my efforts to suppress it, a smile leaked from my lips. Eventually unable to hold it back, I laughed aloud and turned the page. I had a feeling, and sure enough, the next page and the one after that were no different.
Mikael was urging me to train with a very sincere attitude.
Do strength training, but do not lift things that are too heavy, correct your posture—no, you’re doing well now—how to hold the sword…
But I loved that.
I could feel it with a thrill of clarity that while writing this, he had continuously thought of my face, my arms and legs, my movements, and me. Of course, Mikael likely had no such intention. However, the devoted words he showed were kind enough for me to fully misunderstand.
I read the words Mikael wrote over and over. I read them and read them again. I couldn’t even dare to stroke a single letter for fear of damaging it.
How many minutes did he spend writing this letter? Were there other times he thought of me? If I had known Mikael would be this kind, I would have sent a couple more letters. All sorts of thoughts crossed my mind.
After a brief moment of contemplation, I checked the time. One in the morning. To be at the ballroom from the morning tomorrow, I had to wake up by seven. That means…
I could spare about two hours. I immediately grabbed my sword and headed out. I was glad I could at least sleep in the Jade Palace.
Since no one would enter the private martial arts training ground, my mind was at ease. Should I beg Mikael to check my form when I see him after the break? I wonder if he’d smile and tell me I did well.
Until now, this emotion called love that Mikael brought me was something close to despair. In the half-year since I got to know him, I had been miserable and in pain for a long time. I wanted to throw away everything—the heart that beat willfully, the gaze that escaped my control, and the anxiety that surged without reason.
But now, after experiencing the endless euphoria brought by a single letter, everything else was useless.
I should live like this.
I’ll just… try this thing called love.
There are only two years left until Mikael reaches adulthood. The fact that there is time left until he has his Debutante seemed like a stroke of luck. The words telling me to do this and that with a kind tone, guiding every gesture and movement, now felt like a Divine Revelation.
If I fix myself as Mikael says, wouldn’t there be at least a little hope?
I just need to remain a good person by his side and find out what his ideal type is. Then, I will mold myself into that ideal. So that Mikael can naturally choose me, and so that no other bastard can push their way into the position of his lover.
He said I extend my sword too short.
Many things about me had already changed. This was a habit that formed when I switched from a two-handed sword to a one-handed sword to look better to Mikael. Because of the weight of a two-handed sword, if it moved too far from the body, the center of gravity would shift, making it impossible to swing properly. Since I had switched to a light one-handed sword, I should have fixed the habit, but it was a detail I hadn’t considered.
I had no intention of begging him to love me as I am. Anyway, I was never myself in front of Mikael. Not for a single moment when standing beside him could I be myself. The fact that I was a human who could speak with such a trembling voice, freeze up and breathe cautiously, and act stupidly was something I only realized after coming into contact with Mikael.
Come to think of it, I should ask Mikael to teach me a Sword Art sometime.
Just as I did when I taught Mikael the throwing knife technique, I would have no further wish if our hands could just brush against each other. I wondered if this was too little, yet I couldn’t wish for more. Was it because I had grown accustomed to a miserable unrequited love? No. It was just that such things were truly precious. Simply being by his side.
I had carefully placed the letter in my study drawer so it wouldn’t get crumpled, but I had already memorized the contents.
I found the flattest spot in the middle of the training ground and straightened my shoulders. The instruction to set the center of the body likely meant the Middle Stance. Mikael used to strike the sword in a straight line with something akin to divine skill. So that neither the shoulders, knees, nor heels would shake.
Even if I couldn’t mimic him perfectly, I had to at least get close.
As I swung my sword while lost in various thoughts, the sun rose. I had intended to train for exactly two hours as Mikael instructed, but I had forgotten to sleep because I was too excited.
I returned to my bedroom first, but since there wasn’t enough time to wash, I used a Clean Artifact and headed to the ballroom.
Richard no longer spoke to me. Thanks to that, I spent my time plotting various things while listening to music that was exquisitely to my taste.
Should I lose a bit more weight? I probably can’t bring a skincare specialist into the Academy. Where would be a good place for a date course?
The weather was hot. Due to poor Mana Stone management for temperature control Artifacts in one of my subsidiary businesses, goods worth twenty carriages were ruined. Funny enough, I wasn’t angry in the least. Facing the representative who was reporting the losses while trembling and pale, I contemplated seriously.
I should start by legalizing same-sex marriage. What should I start with to lay the foundation for legalization?