By Zephyria 
How is it that Mikael always gives answers that defy my expectations?
Unable to bear it, I grabbed Mikael’s hand and pulled. I wanted to nibble on those fingertips, kiss the palm, and lick between the fingers. I wanted to climb atop Mikael’s body, embrace that neck, and promise a lifetime together.
However, Mikael shrank away, avoiding my lips and pulling back the fingertips. Those blue eyes were filled with fear.
So beautiful.
Now I know. If my love was a violent extortion, your love was always a cautious concession. You were someone who would give me anything I desired.
Looking at Mikael, my voice melted into a sweet tone without even having to fake it.
“When you said you remembered your past life, you know what I was most… afraid of?”
“…”
“I wondered, what if there was someone you loved, and that’s why you’re pushing me away? That was the first thought that came to mind.”
“…Pardon?”
I knew very well.
Even if you didn’t possess such a beautiful and enchanting appearance, you were the kind of person who would draw the gaze of many.
Kind people were rare. On top of that, you possessed great personal martial prowess and wandered the world with the mission of saving people; how many people must have been captivated by you?
If there had been another person like me by your side—another fox-like bastard who wouldn’t yield to your rejection and hovered around you just to possess you—who knows how things might have changed.
That’s why I’m so relieved. It is a special stroke of luck that you were able to come to me. Even if I had consumed every bit of luck in my life just to meet Mikael, I wouldn’t regret it.
I guided Mikael’s hand to cup my cheek. Mikael did not reject even this.
A body temperature that was more than warm—it was hot—wrapped around my ear. The faint trembling transmitted from that hand made my chest itch. My breath grew hot, and my mouth kept parting. My tongue tingled and I felt thirsty under our locked gaze.
“What if there was someone you loved for a very long time, for a lifetime, to the point where I couldn’t possibly win?”
“…”
“But I’ve already come to like you this much.”
“…Ruben, I…”
I know. You aren’t someone who would lie to me. I believe now that I am the only one for you.
“I liked you even when I didn’t know what kind of person you were. As long as there isn’t someone else who came before me, Mika.”
With the hand still cupping my cheek, I turned my head and kissed the hollow of the palm deeply. As expected, while Mikael might reject a sudden pull, she couldn’t avoid gradual contact. I felt relieved seeing the longing pooled in that burning gaze.
I declared with a smile.
“I won’t give up. I hope you won’t either.”
Even if that opponent were a god, they could not take Mikael away from me.
Because I will make sure of it.
* * *
As the end of October approached, Mikael grew anxious.
Ever since the Owen auction, Mikael had been worried, wanting to give me something. However, the gems purchased that day were all large, heavy, and cumbersome. I had already sent all the high-maintenance gems back to the Empire via courier.
I could have simply let it pass, saying I’d already received my birthday present in advance, but I intentionally acted expectant to make Mikael walk on eggshells. Since gifts in the form of objects were no longer an option, perhaps this time she would actually give me a kiss. It was half expectation, half doubt.
She said she hadn’t even had a peck, let alone a first kiss, in over forty years—would that even be possible?
“…Hmph.”
Ah. I kept wanting to laugh.
To think I’m really her first…
Then this time, it won’t do.
It was a point where Mikael’s anxiety hadn’t fully subsided. It would take some time before Mikael could comfortably wrap her arms around my waist.
Should I just ask for a tight hug? That was an easy thing to get if I timed it right. But that felt a bit lacking.
As I pondered, a good idea came to me shortly after.
Mikael, who likely didn’t even know how to spend a night together, wouldn’t possibly know what to do afterward.
Originally, these were things I wanted to do for Mikael, but now it didn’t matter who did them. Besides, having tested it myself, once I go “behind,” my legs lose strength for thirty to forty minutes, making it hard to stand. Since that’s normally the husband’s role, wouldn’t it be fine if Mikael attended to me?
With that thought, I meticulously informed Mikael of the things she should do for my birthday present.
For breakfast, I chose a menu that could be eaten in bed without leaving crumbs—foods that weren’t too cumbersome to chew and swallow even without much energy. Sandwiches, omelets, sausages, salad, and fruit; anything that could be brought in on a single tray as a main meal was fine.
I requested that she bring the food first and wake me with a kiss… well, that would be too much for now, so I asked her to simply wrap her arm around my shoulder and whisper in my ear to wake me. I decided on this because I wanted to be held up by Mikael when I’m tired someday in the future, share food tenderly, and fall asleep again leaning in those arms.
I felt like I was doing something ridiculous, yet it was enjoyable. Every time I whispered, Mikael’s round ears would turn bright red; they were so pretty that I kept losing my mind. Would I be scolded if I bit them right now?
No. No matter how much I thought about it, Mikael would likely dodge skillfully. I gave up, though it was a shame because it would probably just end up awkward for both of us.
And so, October 31st, the day of my birthday.
I woke up to the sound of the door clicking open. Since I already knew who it was, I didn’t bother opening my eyes.
Mikael didn’t hide her presence, as if worried I might get scared. She made a clattering sound when placing the tray on the nightstand, and she intentionally made a clicking sound with her heels, walking slowly toward the bed with narrow strides.
Still, I didn’t open my eyes. I heard a faint sound of laughter, and a warm hand touched my shoulder.
“Ruben.”
“…Mm.”
“Would you like to sleep a bit more? I’ve… brought breakfast.”
“…No, I’ll get up.”
The body temperature that didn’t even shake me, but merely rested upon me, felt incredibly hot. Enough to make my breath hitch.
Strange. It was strange.
Even though it was expected, my stomach churned. I was clearly the one who requested this, but it was strange for my heart to beat this fast. I wouldn’t be this anxious even if I were standing on the edge of a cliff; my entire body was so tense that the backs of my knees felt tingly.
Unlike me, who was fraught with tension, Mikael had a benevolent expression. Her cheeks were redder than usual, but her eyes were smiling fully. I leaned my cheek against the warm hand brushing back my hair, then reached out with both hands.
Instead of hugging me tight, Mikael carefully grasped my wrists and pulled.
The warm blanket, still holding the heat, wrapped around my waist. I couldn’t stop smiling as she tucked a pillow behind my back and then brought another pillow from where she had been lying to prop me up.
While contemplating what Mikael’s heart felt as she looked after me so attentively, I leaned my cheek against her shoulder as Mikael sat half-perched on the bed.
Ah. Now she’s nervous. …Cute…
We stayed like that for a moment. I tried to wrap my arms around Mikael’s waist, but Mikael snapped back to her senses with a “ha!” and hurriedly brought the tray, preventing me from achieving my goal. But that was fine.
I burst out laughing as soon as I saw the tray. There was only one knife for a meal for two.
It wasn’t that Mikael had used her skills; it seemed the kitchen had arbitrarily decided it was a meal for newlyweds.
I felt inexplicably elated. The salad, consisting of nothing but monotonous baby leaves, felt surprisingly sweet and crisp.
The sausages Mikael had cut were all the same length with smooth cross-sections. While amused on my own, I popped a piece of sausage into Mikael’s mouth. Her face as she obediently accepted what I gave her was so pretty that I wanted to kiss her cheek, but I held back once more.
“Feed me too.”
“…Ah, …ah. Yes.”
Mikael’s reactions were exactly seven seconds slower than usual. Swallowing a laugh, I quickly opened my mouth.
She hadn’t cared before, but after being pointed out once last time, Mikael had become exceptionally shy about looking into each other’s mouths. Today, too, Mikael couldn’t look at me directly. It was funny and cute how her gaze slid slightly to the side.
When I tugged her wrist as if urging her to hurry, the tip of the spoon coming toward my mouth trembled slightly.
One bite for me, one bite for Mika. One bite for me, one bite for Mika.
Because we tried to feed each other, the pace of the meal became infinitely slow. By the time we barely finished the meal on one tray over the course of two hours, it was already half-digested. I wasn’t sure if I had eaten it or spat it out, but it was just funny and good.
“Now, the tray…”
“No, leave that there and come in here.”
As soon as I lifted the blanket and called her, Mikael’s already flushed face turned beet red. Honestly, I didn’t expect her to be this surprised by something so simple, so I was surprised too. It wasn’t as if we hadn’t slept together once or twice. Could she be… right now… thinking of something that would make her feel modest?
I made a whining voice and fluttered the blanket again.
“…”
“Hmm? It’s my birthday.”
“…Yes.”
Now, I wasn’t afraid even if Mikael grit her teeth. I just thought the way the veins stood out tightly on her neck was very pretty and that I wanted to lick them.
Instead of acting prim, I clung tightly to Mikael’s side as she entered the blanket. Mikael froze stiffly for a moment before placing a hand on my shoulder.
We whispered many things.
No matter how much I asked, Mikael never listed the names of her friends from her past life one by one. However, while listening to a few funny anecdotes, if I asked, “That friend who did this and that before?” she would nod and say yes. So, I kept a count in my head.
There were six friends Mikael used to hang out with frequently back when she was Jeongyeon. One of them died young, two got married, and three lived as wanderers in a similar situation to Mikael. There were quite a few other acquaintances, but she said it was hard to mingle fully as they were generally younger than her.
I also heard about the duties of direct and collateral lines. At a glance, it didn’t seem much different from Sierren’s, but there was a difference in the fundamental part.
Unlike Sierren, where the sibling who inherited the title would divide some of the assets to open a separate way for the siblings without titles, in Jeongyeon’s world, the family functioned like a colony of ants. It was quite interesting, but it wouldn’t be beneficial against those with strong egos like the people of the Empire.
Mikael was also curious about my childhood. Now, I could be more honest in front of Mikael than before. Among the things I could talk about, I carefully chose topics that Mikael would find interesting.
“The day I first held a wooden sword… was I eight then? Lucilla picked up a wooden sword from somewhere and told me to play together. I was busy with homework and books I had to read, so I just ignored her, but then she started stabbing me with the wooden sword. So I got angry, snatched it, and swung it around, but I couldn’t hit her once.”
“Pfft, hm. Oh dear.”
“Did you laugh?”
“No, I did not. And then?”
“Lucilla laughed while running away. She said, ‘See, I knew you’d find it fun!'”
“…”
“…You can just laugh.”
“Hahaha! So, is that when you started holding a sword?”
“Yeah. After trying it, I thought there was no need to stubbornly refuse.”
As a child, I was a much more restless and fierce brat than I am now.
Lucilla and I were given separate palaces. It took exactly thirty minutes by carriage to get from the Jade Palace to the Garnet Palace. While traveling that distance—far if you think it’s far, close if you think it’s close—every single day, Lucilla struggled desperately to make me smile.
Thinking about it now, I’m grateful. Thanks to that, I was able to attract Mikael’s interest.