By Zephyria 
It felt as if I were holding a butterfly with shattered wings upon my palm.
It had been a long time since Mikael had seemed so pitiful, fragile, and heartbreaking. From a very close distance, I quietly inhaled and tasted the rhythm of Mikael’s breath. Even the act of taking a breath and letting it out felt cautious.
Mikael was still frightened. His wide, moist eyes, his flushed and burning face, and his lips parched from tension laid his inner thoughts bare before me.
I wanted to know more.
I wanted to dig out, tear away, and lay bare every secret permitted only to me. I wanted to hear every story he told me through tears, to know them, and occasionally to whisper teasingly in his ear. And I wanted to protect him. I desperately hoped that whenever he was sad or suffering, he would find rest in my arms.
I looked at the tip of Mikael’s nose, his lips, and then gazed deeply into his eyes.
“So… you decided to wait?”
“…”
A familiar blue light wavered, reflecting me within it.
Facing a Mikael who looked as if he might burst into tears at any moment, I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. Somewhere deep in my chest, which until a moment ago had been torn apart and burning in chaos, a suffocatingly soft and tender emotion welled up.
The relief, the certainty, and a luxurious sense of responsibility—greater than all else—stemming from the fact that I was the only thing Mikael had held in his heart throughout both his past and present lives, allowed me to be patient.
“…Right. Then that’s enough.”
“…What is? Why…?”
“I’ll work harder.”
Yes, it wouldn’t be that difficult.
Mikael’s past life was an unexpected variable, but judging by the attitude of Elvin Brooks and Nadish Haisan when dealing with an existing god, the god would not be an impossible opponent to negotiate with. If communication were possible, there was quite a lot I could offer the god in Mikael’s stead. It would be better to meet face-to-face and weigh the conditions.
Then, what should I do first to control this current variable?
First, I took Mikael’s hand and placed it on my cheek. Taking a deep breath, I kissed the palm of his hand. As long as there was a guarantee that Mikael would continue to love me, I could do anything.
Truly, anything.
“Don’t worry, Mika.”
“…Ruben. That is…”
“Thank you for telling me. That’s why I brought you here.”
The version of me who had been ferocious, wanting to demand every single answer from Mikael, was gone.
Following Mikael to the Shatun Desert would be tedious, but not impossible. Beneto did not want a sole heir. Therefore, as long as he lived, Richard could commit any atrocity, and I wouldn’t have to worry about the throne being snatched away immediately.
The rural areas west of Owen were beyond the reach of the Nobility Yearbook department. Thus, I would need to receive another report on the situation within the Empire right now and squeeze out as much spare time as possible.
Even amidst these hurried thoughts, I felt a sense of fullness in my chest that felt as if it might burst.
My thoughts were organized.
“Now go to sleep. You’ll be tired tomorrow too.”
I gently pushed Mikael’s chest.
Mikael hesitated, unable to stand up immediately. I read love in the way he wanted to remain by my side, even though he hadn’t yet organized the words he wanted to say.
He was so cute that I wanted to stay wrapped in his arms all night, but I didn’t have the luxury of time.
The method of kicking Mikael out was very simple. As soon as I popped the button of my jacket, he bolted upright, making me smile again.
My lover is so innocent.
As soon as the anxious Mikael left the room, I hung a ribbon tied with three knots on the door. In less than five minutes, three figures entered and stood in line.
I listened to the most recent internal affairs of the Empire from each of them and cross-referenced their statements. Based on the status report from the Nobility Yearbook department, I wrote and sent separate manuals of action guidelines to Theodore Grand, Philip Swanson, Lucilla, and Mac Weaber to be carried out while I was unreachable.
Four months at the shortest, a year at the longest.
The thought of continuing to travel with Mikael during that time made me forget my fatigue in excitement.
By the time I finished everything, it was a little past six in the morning. I simply thought it was a relief that I could resolve it before the day ended.
* * *
Once I made up my mind to leave, the preparations didn’t take long.
I called trustworthy mercenaries and packed our bags. I prepared three sets of desert-appropriate clothing per person and checked the food supplies and consumables. For safety, I swept up almost every Artifact in the Owen branch, and I exchanged some Sierran currency for Owen currency, dividing it among Hugh Benson, Marianne Philodendore, and myself.
Even during the preparations and after we departed for the desert, Mikael’s expression remained grim.
My pitiful lover had become noticeably quieter. Young Lady Philodendor glanced at Mika’s mood and signaled me several times with her eyes, but I ignored her and smiled it off.
Of course, I could have stuck by Mikael’s side right now to comfort and soothe him. The words “I understand you” and “I still love you” were entirely sincere, so there was no need to pretend.
But why should I share Mikael’s secrets with others?
I waited with sufficient patience. As the villages we visited grew smaller, the inns naturally became more cramped, and it was inevitable that Mikael and I would stay in the same room under the guise of safety. In a locked room where only the two of us remained, I fiercely contemplated the words I wanted to hear and the words I wanted to say.
Soon, a good opportunity arrived.
The seventh day of the journey. The inn in Browick, a tiny village of about eighty people, was a temporary residence used by the personnel of Owen’s local administration department during their national tours. Since it was used only once a year and received some tax benefits without separate maintenance costs, it usually rented rooms to travelers to cover the upkeep.
A single-story building with ten double rooms. Because the guests who visited once a year were all government officials, the furnishings were clean and the interior decor was exotic and tasteful. The distance between the buildings also made it a good place for secret conversations.
And I already knew the most familiar way to get Mikael to speak.
“…About the transition from the 21st to the 22nd form of the Changcheon Muae Sword Art that you taught me before.”
“…Yes?”
“When slashing upward from the bottom left to the top right, it feels like too much strength is going into the arm. Is the swordplay originally like that?”
Changcheon Muae Sword.
To be precise, the pronunciation was closer to Changcheon Muae Jian. Even for Maelo Sanson, who respected even the lowest level of swordplay, the original name was so difficult to pronounce that he shortened it to ‘Mikael’s unique swordplay’ or ‘Changcheon Sword.’
Every sword art born on this continent was named after a region or a family. If the creator was a commoner, they typically used the name of the region where they were born; if the creator was a noble, they used their surname. Occasionally, there were sword arts named after flowers or gems, but it was rare to attach a unique pronunciation and meaning like this.
But now, I know where this sword art came from.
Mikael said he swung a sword throughout his past life. If Mikael’s roots were there, I naturally had to know that world as well.
I wanted to know more and understand more deeply. So that Mikael could read both the present and the past through me and never be able to leave me.
The Changcheon Muae Sword was difficult because there were many connecting movements between the upper and lower body when performing each form. I hadn’t used it much in actual combat, but since I had memorized the forms when Mikael first taught me and had pondered them for a long time, there was much to ask.
And so, naturally.
Or rather, slightly as intended.
“…The region where I was originally born was called Anhui.”
“Anhui?”
I heard a strange proper noun from Mikael’s mouth.
Like the Changcheon Muae Sword, the end of the pronunciation rose strangely. The common language of the continent had no tones, but the Divine Speech did. The length of sentences, which didn’t exist in the common tongue, was also frequently utilized in the language of magic.
I had always been sensitive of hearing. Thanks to that, utilizing and acquiring the strange words Mikael uttered didn’t feel that difficult.
I watched Mikael’s expression closely, wondering if I had mispronounced the proper noun. However, Mikael looked straight at me with an expression that was slightly longing and overwhelmed with sudden excitement. The tenderness permeating those blue eyes was directed entirely toward me.
Ah. It worked.
I strove to extract as much information as possible using the lightest questions I could.
“Did you always like sweet foods?”
“In my past life… sweets were expensive, so I couldn’t eat them often. When I was young, I occasionally had Tangguo, but as I grew older, I gave my share to the children.”
“Children?”
“Yes. That… since I lived with the people of my family. There were many children…”
Eating habits, spending levels, surrounding environment.
“Did you have close friends? What did you usually do for fun with them?”
“I had five or six close comrades, but we were too busy surviving to hang out often. Because we called martial artists of the same age from other families ‘comrades,’ we spent every meeting sparring with swords.”
“Were most of your friends men?”
“Ah, yes. That’s correct. As we grew older, there were laws regarding the separation of men and women, so I tried to be careful not to even be in the same place as the daughters of other families. I’ve learned that the Sierran Empire is not like that, but still… I find myself being cautious.”
“I see. Did your friends not get married?”
“Except for the three I associated with most, most of them married. One of them married another friend’s younger sister, and he was so desperate to please her…”
How many people around him had liked him without Mikael noticing.
“No siblings?”
“Yes. I had no biological siblings, but I had many cousins who were just as close. There was a huge pavilion—a residential estate—where everyone with the same surname lived together, so we trained and ate together.”
“How many houses were on that estate?”
“I’m not sure… I’ve never counted them individually… I think there were roughly twenty. There were more people away on missions or staying at various merchant branch offices in Anhui than there were residents.”
“Merchant branch offices?”
“Yes. Usually, the martial artists of a Noble Family made a living by protecting the merchant guilds within the region…”
About the family values, socio-economic forms, and scale of a strange other world.
I heard that while multi-story buildings existed, single-story buildings were more common, and while each region had its own unique foods, thin stews with noodles and buns filled with meat were cheap and eaten often.
Perhaps it was because the trajectory of the life Mikael had drawn in his previous life was honest and simple. Drawing the world he had lived in within my mind was incredibly fun and interesting.
No, that’s not it. It was because it was Mikael’s story. I was happy to learn about the Mikael I didn’t know. To the point where I was so immersed that it was hard to pull away.
“Am I not strange?”
While we were talking for a long time, Mikael suddenly became emotional, startling me.
Did I pry too much?
“…What is?”
“I… I still feel as if… I’ve gone mad.”
Had Mikael ever laid bare his inner thoughts so completely like this?
A pace of speech faster than usual, strange tones and strong accents that occasionally leaked through, and reddened eyes—all contained Mikael’s passion.
“In my past life, my studies were shallow, so I never thought deeply about things like the afterlife. I was content as long as I saved the good and killed the evil, and the people of my current life could live in peace. I ate when there was food, slept when I found a place, and simply lived aimlessly until I died.”
His two hands, clasped so tightly it was almost painful, were burning hot.
Mikael’s gaze pierced through me. Receiving that look, heat rose to the tips of my ears. My heart beat with surprising speed. My stomach churned.
“…I’m still afraid that I’m just having a long dream. I wonder if a dream-like world like this truly exists, and I still feel as if this world… does not belong to me. I…”
It was the same for me.
Once, I too pondered for a long time whether Mikael had walked out of my dreams. It was because I felt his status, his attitude, and his talent were all perfectly suited to me, as if he were born for me.
But now I know. That all those justifications were the result of my efforts to fit all his characteristics to me because I love Mikael.
I would have loved Mikael even if he had been born as my servant. Even if he had been a pauper I encountered while cleaning up the back alleys, I surely would have been anxious to keep him by my side. Even if he didn’t know how to hold a pen, let alone a sword, or if he had a fragile body that tripped every three steps, I can clearly see myself not knowing what to do with how cute he was.
You were not a being that came from my dreams, and I already know that.
That is why I intended to break your dream to pull you out.
So that you could stay by my side.
I tried to smile as gently as possible. I asked, prepared to endure any answer.
“Is that why you said without hesitation that you’d go to the Oasis? Because you want to go back?”
However, Mikael looked straight at me and said:
“…No, that’s not it. I was curious why I came here. Which god brought me to this land for what reason… I wanted to seek an explanation… and I wanted to hear a definitive answer on whether it is alright for me to continue living in this land.”
That he wanted to remain by my side, in this world.