Douglas spoke in a gentle voice. I listened carefully to his explanation.
“Divine Power is a power related to faith, and internal energy is a power related to will. The test just now has made me certain. Young Master Ernhardt, you said you haven’t been able to use the ‘Upper Dantian’ yet, right?”
“…Yes, that’s right.”
“I think the ‘enlightenment’ you speak of might be related to ‘faith’.”
“Pardon?”
I was taken aback. Did that mean the Hwagyeong Martial artists of the Central Plains believed in gods?
Well, the Demonic Cult leader was, in a way… a religious person, perhaps. Whether you could call it a religion or not… Jang Mu-hyeon, the best swordsman of Wudang… did he believe in religion? The Wudang Sect was Taoist… so was the Mount Hua Sect… Namgung, the previous head of Namgung… No, we just honored our ancestors.
I couldn’t hide my confusion.
“Are you saying… I have to believe in a god?”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Faithfulness helps.”
Douglas was about to say something, but Professor Blanc interrupted. I unconsciously recited a prayer. La Prira Et-sa.
If I could reach Hwagyeong with something like this, I would do it any number of times, but I still couldn’t feel the existence of Divinity…
Douglas, with a smiling face, dissuaded Professor Blanc and added a step-by-step explanation, which I barely managed to understand.
He explained that devout priests replace the enlightenment that Martial artists gain before reaching each realm with faith.
A Martial artist’s realm was like a staircase. They would steadily train and practice for a certain amount of time, then gain enlightenment and ascend to a higher level. Then, they would repeat the training and practice to gain enlightenment and raise their realm again.
A mage’s realm was like a slope. Once you started, you would constantly climb, and the path of climbing would be repeated. Memorizing formulas, rotating Circles, and dispersing them—all those processes were learned differently every day.
And the path of a priest, he said, was like grabbing a rope lowered from above and jumping up at once. For them, enlightenment was faith. He explained that because Divinity was such a large and immense existence, they couldn’t help but have faith.
Boulder, sitting next to me, pouted and wanted to add some commentary, but he held back, noticing Professor Blanc’s expression. I didn’t bother to talk to him.
At the end of the long explanation, Douglas Mustang concluded.
“So, our conclusion is that Young Master Ernhardt won’t be able to use the functions of the Upper Dantian right away, or use Divine Power. However, we would like to recommend a different way of using it.”
“…What, way is that?”
“Just now, Divine Power and internal energy blended together to create this shape.”
Douglas drew a circle on the back of a scattered piece of paper, marking the flow of energy with lines. I was stunned.
For some reason… it was a familiar shape.
“Do we really need to combine aura and internal energy to use them? They are different energies, but if you grasp their flow in this way, you can use both.”
“No, this is.”
“If you can operate aura and internal energy separately, it would be very advantageous. Instead of using aura like internal energy or internal energy like aura, you can use your left and right hands separately. If you deploy aura to the Middle Dantian and internal energy to the Lower Dantian, you can do it simultaneously like this…”
“…That’s.”
“Do you think it won’t work?”
“…That’s not it, but.”
I looked down at the circle Douglas had drawn.
It was a Taegeuk. The Taegeuk was inside it.
I was born as a Martial artist of Namgung and learned the Azure Sky Sword. It was a sword that resembled the sky. I came to Sierren and learned the Imperial Swordsmanship. It was a sword that resembled the rocks of Jongnam. I also learned the Siren sword technique. There was a sword that resembled the waves in the Central Plains as well. The Hainan Sect used such a sword… But now… he was telling me to learn the Tao of Wudang.
…Is it okay to do this? Is this really the right path?
“Young Master Ernhardt?”
I looked at Douglas, who had a puzzled expression. I looked at the paper again, and then down at my lower abdomen.
…Well, it was Douglas Mustang who was saying this, not someone else. He was well-versed in aura and Mana. He had directly examined and considered aura and internal energy, and then offered his advice with care. It was worth trying.
I nodded.
“…Yes. I will try it.”
“Good thinking. Thank you. If you get used to the soft operation method by keeping Divine Power close to you here, and add the training for quick directional changes that I mentioned last time… Yes. I think you can get closer to the form you want, Young Master Ernhardt.”
“I have a thought that I want to add the property of, lightning.”
“Lightning?”
“Yes. Imbued with the property of a king, like this, kuung…”
“A king’s…? Hmm, good. I’ll consider that together and research it.”
I was grateful. Douglas Mustang didn’t say it couldn’t be done, even with my clumsy explanation.
However, he started a lecture on lightning and electric power magic, asking which lightning I wanted. I listened carefully and picked out a few of them.
Boulder suddenly whispered, asking why I was looking for lightning, but I had no way to answer.
It didn’t seem like he would understand if I explained that the Heavenly Lightning Emperor Divine Art, which was above the Azure Sky Great Evolution Divine Art I used, was a Mind method that poured down like lightning and reigned like an emperor.
I was just very curious whether what I knew by sight could be properly crafted into an Internal energy cultivation method by their hands.
Blanc Cooper grabbed my hand tightly and insisted that believing in Divinity would be a good way, and I sweated profusely trying to decline.
❖ ❖ ❖
Saturday.
I finished my dawn training and headed to the library. I did so even though I knew the boy who was always in the same spot wouldn’t be there.
In fact, everywhere I stepped in this academy, there were traces of Rubel, so even if I tried to avoid it, there was nowhere to go.
I sat quietly at the large table I always sat at, propped my chin on one hand, and flipped through the pages of a book.
For some reason, it was hard to sit in the correct posture. Every time I looked at the seat across from me, I couldn’t help but think of Rubel. That Child always sat with a straight posture, flipping through the pages of a book, and then glancing at me.
And whenever our eyes met, his ears would turn red and he would pretend to be nonchalant, which was so cute.
I remembered Rubel looking disappointed, pretending to be calm, and running his hand over this large table.
I ran my empty hand over the smooth surface of the desk. The cold sensation remained intact on my fingertips, which had become sensitive thanks to the steady training I had diligently done every week.
For some reason, I let out a long sigh.
It was something I had to get used to. I was okay. I had to be okay. How old was I to be so anxious about just meeting and parting ways?
It must be because that close and affectionate Child had never been in my life until now.
In the Central Plains, I was a silent giant, so my friends were mostly like that. For men, swords were enough to clash.
Only very young Children could have their heads stroked or their shoulders patted. Even that was only for a moment, and when the Child grew up a little, I didn’t touch them to treat them like adults.
Rubel, that Child, was so affectionate even though he was all grown up.
His hair was soft, his cheeks were red, and his eyes were shining. He would snuggle into my arms and ask me to stroke him, hug him, and hold his hand, so how could I not give him my heart?
I remembered the throbbing of his heart that was conveyed every time he filled my arms.
His sharp eyes were always bent in a friendly smile. His conduct was proper and his clothes were neat, so looking at him made me feel like my eyes were brightening.
He was always there within reach. Suddenly, I remembered the day he took me to teach me how to dance. I wondered how I had acted when I saw him getting anxious just because I hugged his waist a little tighter…
…I felt guilty for having these thoughts.
I was thinking about that Child more yesterday than the day before, and more today than yesterday.
It was all because the Child grabbed my sleeve, looking disappointed, near the end of this New Year’s festival. It was because he said he would give up on his feelings, but then came to me every night and put his head under my hand.
I should have hugged him one more time, why didn’t I give him my embrace as if it was something to be saved?
I thought all sorts of things. It wasn’t even funny.
Even if regretting the past had become a habit, I was distressed by having bad thoughts about that young Child.
It must be because the age of my body is not the same as the age of my mind. If I were really a young Child…
That’s enough. What would I do by thinking more?
I quickly shook my head to forget and sat quietly to prepare for the pop quiz. Thanks to getting used to Calypse Agrigent’s exam method steadily over the past time, nothing was difficult.
However, when I suddenly saw the name of a family I didn’t know and raised my head in curiosity, I felt upset seeing that the seat in front of me was empty.
This wouldn’t do. I quickly gathered my handouts and headed to the Martial arts training ground.
Usually, when I was feeling so troubled, Rubel was there to cross swords with me, so there was no need to find someone else. But today, he wasn’t there…
As I swung my sword alone, my empty heart didn’t easily return.
I looked for Benjamin as a substitute. Benjamin was at the stables. I was speechless to see him meticulously brushing Victor’s fur with his chin raised haughtily, even though he wasn’t taking riding lessons this semester.
I dragged him to the sparring arena. Benjamin, as always, never refused a sparring match.
Children who were passing by the Great Martial arts training ground gathered one by one to watch. When they asked why I was showing such rough skills today, I had no way to answer, so I just made excuses that I needed to work harder.
That’s how a day, two days, three days passed.
I diligently attended classes. I tried to memorize even a few magic words a day, and I was faithful to every class.
During that time, I thought a lot about that Child, Rubel. The crow doll had become limp and shiny because I had rubbed it so much.
This also resembled that Child. I spent more time slowly stroking the doll’s brow.
He said he would visit once on the weekend after the exam was over…
I wanted to see him right away, and I didn’t want to see him again.
There were several nights when I couldn’t sleep like that.