#175

This is the last chance.

If Pandemonium ignores this too….

‘He’ll really go to the Mother God.’

At this point, I feel like it doesn’t matter which way it goes.

As I closed my eyes from exhaustion, Pandemonium took my hand, pressed it against his cheek, and nodded.

“Miheo, miheuhe.”

Listening to the sound of him sobbing and chewing on a blood-stained cloth, I started to feel a bit nauseous.

‘…Why is there a crunching sound?’

I didn’t really want to know.

I placed my hand on top of Pandemonium’s head.

“Pandemonium. If you agree, answer clearly with ‘Yes.’”

“Yes.”

“Pandemonium, you must not serve any god other than me. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Pandemonium, everything that is yours now belongs to me, and I can use it as I please. Understand?”

“…Wait, how far does ‘everything’ include?”

You son of a bitch, just say ‘Yes.’

I’m currently in a life countdown, and you want to ask questions in the middle of this?

“Your physical body, Divine Power, traits, soul. Say that you offer them all to me. You piece of shit. It’s not like I’m taking your soul because I like it. I’m doing this to screw over the War God, damn it. If a better god to switch to comes along, I’ll excommunicate you, so don’t argue and just say yes. For your information, the War God already holds the primary lien on your soul, so it’s not even yours in reality. This is a standard industry contract, so shut up and sign.”

“Then where do I go when I die?”

“I told you I’d excommunicate you before that, damn it!”

“I’m asking what happens if I die while believing in you until the end.”

“Then you’ll just stay by my side, for fuck’s sake. If I earn enough points to create an afterlife, you can live there, but until then, you’ll probably wander around me like a vengeful spirit caught by a Necromancer or something. You absolute piece of shit, is your death the important thing right now? Just answer. Do you really want to see me die?”

“Yes.”

Damn it, answering so curtly now just means the afterlife is more important than whether I live or die.

What an absolute moron….

“Again. Pandemonium, you agree that everything you own is mine and that I can use it as I please, right?”

“Yes. I agree. I agree to everything. Bulk agreement.”

He’s talking about handing over his soul like he’s agreeing to receive marketing information.

Anyway, with this, Pandemonium has become entirely mine.

“Right. Now, pray to me.”

“Pray….”

“Just do it like when you put candles on a cake and make a wish, for fuck’s sake.”

Do I really have to teach him every single detail?

Pandemonium sobbed, closed his eyes, and pressed his hands together.

‘He looks like a five-year-old praying to Santa not to be taken off the gift list after crying his eyes out.’

What a total loser.

[SYSTEM: ‘Pandemonium’ has been deeply influenced by your words!]

[SYSTEM: An anecdote has been added to the achievement ‘Miracle of the Silver Tongue.’]

[SYSTEM: Your Affinity has increased very slightly.]

‘Why is this popping up at this timing?’

I don’t need it now.

Even if he’s influenced, I can’t use Forced Persuasion because of his Mental Defense.

‘Forget that, Divine Power first!’

Pandemonium had quite a few different Divine Powers.

It would be easier if the System showed them as a list….

‘It feels like closing my eyes and fumbling through a pocket to pull something out.’

I desperately searched for ‘Body Restoration.’

Maybe it’s because I’m the lowest of the low that borrowing Divine Power isn’t easy?

Surely Loclem wouldn’t struggle this much just to borrow one Divine Power.

‘Fuck, finally.’

Only after grasping Body Restoration could I finally breathe a sigh of relief.

There was no pain, but my vision was gradually darkening, which felt ominous—like the moment a phone starts lagging when the battery is at 1%.

Somehow, I managed to plug in the charger just before the power cut out.

‘Ha…. Pandemonium, you absolute piece of trash.’

If he had stalled for just a bit longer, I really would have met the Mother God.

Since I couldn’t feel pain, I wasn’t aware of it, but my physical condition was truly the worst.

I returned the broken ribs to their original state and repaired the ruptured organs.

Internal bleeding could be ‘restored’ since the blood was pooled inside….

‘…But the blood that flowed out seems to have lost its connection.’

Restoration is slightly different in principle from regeneration.

Regeneration works by ‘dividing’ new cells to fill the damaged area, while restoration is closer to returning the damaged part to the state it was in before the injury.

The efficiency of recovering lost parts through ‘Body Restoration’ is extremely low.

‘The parts that are completely gone….’

Maybe just the right eye.

I grimaced.

‘More than that, fuck, the praying is so damn noisy.’

I think I understand why gods set specific prayer times.

If I had to receive civil complaints 24 hours a day like this, I’d develop a neurosis even if my mental strength were in the four digits.

Don’t die don’t die don’t die please forgive me don’t die don’t hate me don’t die you mustn’t die….

‘…Once my body is fully restored, I’m excommunicating that bastard.’

“That’s enough. Stop! I’m not dying. Happy? I answered your prayer, right?”

“Hyung….”

“Fuck, you’re creepy, so stop clinging to me!”

I picked up a torn linen shirt rolling around on the floor.

Pandemonium was probably wearing it underneath.

‘Ugh, hygiene….’

“…Hyung. What about your eye? Why didn’t you regenerate your arm?”

“Because I don’t have enough gathered Faith yet.”

“Then should I keep praying? Or if I bring some of the things lying around outside and offer them as sacrifices….”

“Are you fucking crazy? You want me to accept human sacrifice?”

“No, no! There are turtles outside. Turtles. I meant the turtles. Hmm?”

“…I don’t need them.”

To devour something living, one must be prepared to be eaten from the inside as well.

Of course, since the Record’s Divinity was already heavily damaged, it wouldn’t resist much even if I swallowed it, but I didn’t want to exist as a ‘god’ to the extent of eating such things.

‘Above all, I don’t want to mix with things like that.’

I ripped the seam of a sleeve to make a rectangular piece of cloth and folded it diagonally.

It’s easier to tie when the end isn’t wide.

That’s why first aid kits contain triangular bandages instead of square ones.

“…Did you do something like Scouts when you were young, Hyung?”

“No.”

“Then where did you learn this?”

“I looked it up when I was making a survival bag. First aid methods.”

“Wow, Hyung, you’re really….”

“Fuck.”

I stopped tying the knot above the ear and glared at Pandemonium.

“‘Hyung, you’re really’? Did you forget what you did to me? Why are you acting friendly and talking to me?”

“…Eh? Weren’t you forgiving me?”

“What?”

“You said you answered my prayer. I prayed for you to forgive me, to not hate me.”

I scowled deeply.

This brazen, shameless….

“Hmm? Hyung. You’re my god. If you’re a god, shouldn’t you absolve sins? You said everything of mine is yours. Then you’ve taken the sins I committed too.”

“Fuck, stop talking nonsense.”

“Was my sincerity lacking after all? Should I pray more? Lord Fabio, please forgive all the sins I have committed against you. It was truly not intentional.”

“Agh!”

I clutched my head.

It felt like someone was constantly ringing a doorbell.

It didn’t hurt, but it was incredibly annoying.

“I will offer prayers infinitely until Lord Fabio says he completely forgives me. Lord Fabio. I have committed a great wrong, but please do not hate me and forgive me with love. I will not do it again. If you overlook it just once, I will live as you command not only in life but also in death. So please do not disown me and take responsibility for me until the end. Amen.”

“You—you—you conscience-less piece of trash!”

I wanted to mute him immediately, but that was impossible while I was borrowing Divine Power.

‘Fuck, I just want to return him to the War God.’

“I won’t forgive you! I can’t. I said I can’t! Fuck!”

A god must grant a request if a believer offers a price.

Of course, they can refuse, but they have to accept the resulting blow.

Since I have a physical body, even if my Divinity is damaged, I just return to being a mere human, but for one who only has Divinity, damage is….

‘To think being a god was a service job where you have to deal with difficult customers.’

I grit my teeth.

I know that if I just say the words “I forgive you,” I can receive the reward for granting the prayer.

With those Faith Points, I could finish the ‘restoration’ faster.

But….

“You piece of shit. If you don’t stop praying right now, I’ll just cut the connection and excommunicate you. Understand?”

“If I stop? You’ll forgive me?”

“Then a sliver of possibility for forgiveness remains. A possibility. The more you act like this, the more that possibility converges to zero!”

“I understand. Possibility. That’s enough.”

Enough my ass.

Looking at how he’s acting now, being forgiven is out of the question forever.

“Stop calling me in your head too! Stop! Quit it! Stop!”

“…I’m really not calling you right now?”

“Don’t lie. You keep saying Fabio, Fabio….”

Fuck.

I realized it as I spoke.

It wasn’t this guy calling.

‘Callister.’

I clutched my head and searched for where Callister was.

‘…He’s in the Main Hall right now?’

He was even close.

He was on the stairs leading down to the basement.

‘But why….’

I soon realized the reason.

Because of the Distortion, he had been wandering the same place over and over.

For a long time.

‘…How stupid.’

As long as he is connected to me, visual Distortion doesn’t work, so if he just looked around carefully, he should have found the route down.

I waved the purple poppy flower to break the Distortion.

Soon, I could see something crawling toward where I was.

“Fabio, Fabio, Fabio, Fabio, Fabio….”

“Fuck, what is that! It’s so creepy!”

“Fabio, Fabio, Fabio, you mustn’t die…. Fabio.”

A particle mass less than a quarter of the size it was when we first met was wailing sorrowfully.

“It’s okay. It’s okay, Callister. Calm down.”

I knelt and stroked the mass.

Callister reached out his arms here and there, fumbling to find where I was hurt.

“Fabio, you’re hurt…. Does it hurt? Are you hurt? Does it hurt? I’ll heal you.”

“It doesn’t hurt. I’m okay.”

“Fabio, I couldn’t find where Fabio was. You kept getting farther away. That’s why I’m late. Fabio, you mustn’t die. Fabio. You mustn’t die….”

“It’s okay now, Callister.”

‘…If he shrinks any further in this state, he won’t be able to maintain Individual Continuity.’

As my left hand entwined with the mass, I shifted the priority of restoration to Callister.

The particle mass shuddered.

“What? What? What is this? What? What? Good. Fabio, good.”

“Ugh. Hyung really has a strong stomach. How can he….”

“…Pandemonium. Take off what you’re wearing on the outside.”

“What? Why should I?”

“Because this guy doesn’t have clothes.”

After waiting for a while, Callister transformed into the appearance of a child who looked to be about five or six years old.

“Fabio! I really thought you were dying! I’m so glad to see you ag— AAAKH! That thing!”

“It’s okay. Calm down.”

“That thing! That bastard! He’s a complete lunatic! He cut me into pieces while smiling! Over and over! Fabio, run! Right now! I’ll hold him off….”

“It’s okay. Calm down. He won’t attack anymore.”

“What? Wait, Fabio? Huh?”

Callister looked confused.

“Why? Huh? No, right? Surely not? That thing?”

“Yeah. He’s my vassal now too.”

Callister’s face distorted immensely.

“I—I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! That thing! I hate that thing! Aagh! Why did you take something like that in? It’s too horrible!”

“I think so too.”

“…Hyung.”