By Zephyria 
Haon was asleep, sharing the same pillow as In-ho. The breath passing through his slightly parted lips brought In-ho an indescribable sense of relief.
Even though he was the one who was ill, he felt deeply reassured seeing Haon breathing normally. It was a ridiculous thing.
A small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, In-ho gazed at Haon’s face for a long time before closing his eyes. When he opened his eyelids again, Haon was still there. He etched every detail into his mind: the rounded forehead visible through the thin strands of hair, the pretty shape of his eyes, and the lips situated beneath a sharp nose.
Since he couldn’t carve them into his own body, he used his eyes instead to imprint Haon’s existence. Finally, he leaned in until they were almost touching and softly brushed the tips of their noses. This allowed him to hear Haon’s steady breathing even more clearly.
He hadn’t intended to wake him.
As he cautiously rubbed their noses together, the arm Haon had wrapped around him tightened. When In-ho lifted his downward gaze, he met Haon’s blinking eyes. In-ho’s chest throbbed.
He felt he should say something, but strangely, his mouth wouldn’t open. It seemed he hadn’t fully woken up yet.
“Did you sleep well?”
Haon asked him instead. His voice was entirely different from the one In-ho had been worried about.
Haon checked In-ho’s complexion, touching his cheeks and neck to verify his temperature. Then, he gently pulled the blanket down to just below In-ho’s chest. His expression was as calm as his voice.
“You must have been very surprised.”
At Haon’s words, In-ho’s eyes widened slightly. Surprised? That was something he should be saying.
“They said you became suddenly agitated because of the medication.”
A warm hand reached for In-ho’s face. Haon stroked In-ho’s cool cheeks and lips as if soothing him.
“It’s all because of the medicine,” Haon whispered. “They say it’s dangerous to take too many suppressants. Sleeping pills and sedatives too.”
The hand that had been stroking In-ho’s pale face moved past his jaw and down to his neck. Ointment had been applied to the areas where In-ho had frantically scratched with his nails. Haon’s fingertips lingered around the wounds.
“So, please don’t take too much medicine ever again.”
Gazing intently into those brown eyes, In-ho gave a small nod. Then, he reached out with the arm that had the IV inserted and cupped Haon’s cheek.
Their lips touched briefly and then parted.
With a soft smile, Haon kissed the palm of the hand cupping his face and asked, “Do you want to sleep a bit more?”
In-ho smiled back at Haon and deferred the answer. He didn’t want to fall asleep, but his still-heavy body didn’t seem likely to follow his will. As if sensing this, Haon gently touched In-ho’s eyelids and closed them for him.
However, In-ho opened his eyes again. His face looked as if it had a mountain of things it wanted to say.
“The sandwich… did you eat it?”
At the sudden question, the corners of Haon’s mouth curled up widely. With moist eyes, Haon shook his head with an apologetic look.
“Not yet. Let’s eat it together later.”
Worry clouded In-ho’s eyes, which were just about to close. His heart ached, feeling that Haon looked even thinner.
“Your arm must be uncomfortable.”
Haon lightly stroked In-ho’s arm where the IV line was connected.
“They said we can take it out once the drip is finished.”
Because of the IV, In-ho couldn’t move his hand freely. In-ho lifted one corner of his mouth, trying to show he was relieved. Facing him, Haon continued slowly.
“Once the IV is out, and you’ve finished the remaining tests and eaten some food…”
Nodding along to Haon’s words, In-ho stared blankly at Haon, who had fallen silent. In the stillness, the irritating sound of the humidifier began to drift into his ears.
Simultaneously, his solar plexus tightened, and a needle-like pain flared up. It was a familiar sensation, so In-ho didn’t even flinch an eyebrow.
But Haon seemed to notice.
“Shall we go straight home?”
“….”
“That would be best, right?”
After staring at Haon, In-ho closed his eyes and answered, “Yes.” The sound of the humidifier vanished. The pain constricting his chest disappeared. All because of Haon’s voice.
* * *
The doctor recommended staying hospitalized for another two or three days, but they decided to go home. After completing a few simple tests, they immediately left the hospital building.
Haon took charge of all the medications the hospital prescribed for In-ho. In-ho promised to only take the medicine Haon gave him.
The two did not spend a single moment apart. Whether getting into the taxi or taking off their shoes upon returning home, they did not let go of their tightly clasped hands.
“Stay downstairs for the time being,” Haon said, leading In-ho toward his room. He suggested sleeping in his room for a while since the stairs would be difficult to climb up and down. In-ho did not refuse.
“Do you want to wash up?”
Opening the door, Haon looked up at In-ho, who was rubbing the back of his hand. Haon had already moved In-ho’s clothes and skincare products into his room.
“Shall we wash up?”
Having left the hospital, In-ho’s expression had become much softer as he asked back. He kissed the back of Haon’s hand, adding the implication that they should wash together. Haon did not reject the proposal.
They undressed each other as they headed toward the bathroom. When In-ho instinctively tried to pick Haon up, Haon shook his head and said he would walk on his own. Holding In-ho’s hand, he approached the tub first and turned on the hot water.
“Let’s wash and go to bed early today.”
Because they had waited for the test results, it was already late. It seemed it would be bedtime by the time they finished a leisurely bath.
“Or should we watch a movie before we sleep?”
Haon asked, holding In-ho’s hand tightly as he stepped into the tub one foot at a time. In-ho followed Haon into the tub.
“Anything is fine,” In-ho replied with a subdued smile. He looked as though his strength had not yet fully recovered. Even continuing a long sentence seemed difficult for him, though he didn’t let it show outwardly.
The two sat facing each other in the spacious tub. Sitting between In-ho’s legs, Haon pulled his knees up and rested their joined hands on top of them. Then, using a towel he had prepared, he wrapped In-ho’s bandaged hand.
“I met the doctor you’re close with.”
“Hyojung-nuna?”
Haon confirmed it, recalling the name he had seen on the business card. Hyojung hadn’t been able to come during discharge because she was busy with patients.
“I figured you two would have met.”
In-ho leaned his elbow on the tub while adjusting the water temperature. He had noticed after seeing the sandwich in the refrigerator. It was something Hyojung often bought. Whenever In-ho visited the hospital, she would often press bread from that shop into his hands.
“She told me to come back for a check-up whenever it’s convenient.”
“Let’s go together whenever you want to go, Haon.”
Lowering his gaze, In-ho poured warm water over Haon’s shoulder. Haon did the same for him.
“Did she say anything else?”
Stopping his movements, Haon dipped his hand into the warm water. He fiddled aimlessly with his fingers beneath the transparent water before slowly speaking.
“It’s a secret.”
The sound of splashing water cut through the settled silence.
“I’m not going to tell you.”
“….”
“Since you hid the fact that you were hurting, too.”
Haon splashed the water lightly. His smiling eyes were directed at the bubbles, not at In-ho. In-ho couldn’t answer easily. No other words came to mind. It seemed his stiff brain hadn’t fully returned to normal.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Smiling softly, Haon tapped In-ho’s hand and wrist.
“Hiding that it was your rut period, taking medicine in secret…”
He murmured, massaging In-ho’s large hand. His face, enveloped in hot steam, gradually flushed red.
In-ho let Haon touch his hand as much as he liked, biting his lower lip firmly.
If he had just endured a few more days, he would have gotten through it. He knew his condition had worsened recently, but it had all been temporary symptoms.
It was merely a side effect of not adapting to the new suppressant. If he hadn’t gotten worked up and run a fever while arguing with Haon over the hospital issue that day, he wouldn’t have been caught.
He knew that telling Haon how he felt right now would only make him more upset. That was why he chose his words even more carefully.
“You should have told me if you were in pain.”
While In-ho was contemplating, Haon tied the broken conversation back together.
“If I don’t say it, you’ll be upset too, In-ho. I’m… upset too.”
Trailing off at the end, he tried to splash the water again. In-ho gently blocked that hand and intertwined their fingers. He added a subtle strength to ensure Haon couldn’t slip away.
“Because you said you liked that I was perfect.”
He hadn’t intended to say this. With a slight curve to his eyes, In-ho deeply regretted speaking words that could not be taken back.
“I didn’t want to show that I was flawed.”
Even while regretting it, his mouth—as if drunk—pulled out his inner thoughts of its own accord. It was because the splashing water and the steam had made his mind hazy.
In truth, Haon’s words about liking him because he was perfect had remained lodged in his heart. He had been anxious the whole time, fearing that Haon would discover he was far from perfect.
Gradually, he began to suffer from indigestion, and he frequently vomited his food in the early hours of the morning. In-ho’s body was quietly breaking down. He was only grateful for Haon’s oblivious nature, which made him slow to notice changes.
Every time Haon failed to notice his weakness, In-ho felt relieved. He was confident he could hide it for the rest of his life. That had been the case until just a few days ago.
“I won’t do that anymore.”
Wrapping his arms around Haon, who had buried his head in his knees, In-ho apologized quickly.
“I didn’t hide it because of what you said. My personality is just like that.”
He added belatedly that it was all his own problem, but Haon did not lift his head. He simply kept his face pressed firmly into his knees, wrapping his arms around his legs.
In-ho repeated his apology and hugged Haon tightly. There was nothing else he could do.
Only after the water had completely cooled did Haon grant In-ho his gaze. Slowly lifting his head, he wiped his wet face with his palm.
“I… just like you, In-ho.”
His voice, having regained its composure, rang out quietly. Haon spoke while staring straight into the dark pupils that reflected his own image.
“I just like you. Just because you’re you.”