#035

Tertius knew very well that ‘Fabio’ could not be an ordinary serf.

‘…All Watched Ones are those who have contracted with the Being Beyond the Starry Sky.’

To be precise, they are beings created using those who had contracted with the Being Beyond the Starry Sky as materials.

Judging by the fact that he wasn’t completely shredded by the Holy Sword of Judgment and the Saintess’s surprisingly lenient handling of him, it seemed he hadn’t committed a grave sin, but…

Still, within this ‘Fabio,’ there would remain a ‘longing’—a desire for something so intense that he would contract with a mysterious entity.

“…Lady Adna, the Fifth Apostle, told me. She told me not to think about moving forward. She said that if I wanted to be helpful, I should remain weak, powerless, and ignorant.”

“Adna said that?”

‘Adna must have heard the story from the Saintess.’

Why on earth would she give such advice?

Dreaming an impossible dream is dangerous, but telling someone to do absolutely nothing is even more dangerous…

‘No, considering her usual way of speaking, she probably meant that he could be helpful even without doing anything, but she phrased it in a way that led to this misunderstanding. Definitely.’

“Upon hearing those words, I realized it poignantly. That I am a dangerous existence existing outside of Order.”

‘…So that’s what he was thinking.’

Is that why he apologized first, even without knowing what he had done wrong?

‘Danger, huh…’

“…I suppose so.”

‘Whatever method he used, he’s thrown Adna into a pit of misunderstanding.’

“Though the reason you’re dangerous isn’t because you’re outside of Order.”

‘Adna… she looks like she’s about to stop listening to me altogether now.’

“S-so, if I myself am a risk factor, then the more I learn to do, the less helpful I’ll be and the greater the danger will grow…”

‘And here I am, planning to stay right by the side of a kid who gets frightened this easily to guard him.’

“I-I simply wish to repay the Order Sect for deciding to protect me, even though I have not received the Blessing of Order. I am confident in my diligence if nothing else, so I want to be helpful in that way. Therefore…”

“…So it’s not that you actually want to be a handyman, or that you’d be miserable if you weren’t one?”

‘If he becomes a handyman, there’s no way to stop Adna from visiting him.’

Having spent years cleaning up after Adna, Tertius now unconsciously took it for granted that any problem Adna caused was his responsibility to resolve.

‘Where could he go to be safe from Adna?’

After a moment of contemplation, Tertius realized he was overlooking something important.

‘Wait. Could it be that this Watched One… doesn’t actually mind Adna sticking to him?’

Fabio is constantly afraid of something.

And he desperately wants to live.

To such a person, having Adna—a Paladin and an Apostle—constantly by his side might actually provide a tremendous sense of security.

“Adna seems to want you to stay with the Apostles and learn whatever you wish to learn to your heart’s content.”

‘…If I tell him she even said she’d stay by his side and protect him for the rest of his life, he might find it a bit overwhelming.’

“What?”

“What do you think?”

At that moment, Fabio’s emotions shifted into colors of anxiety and fear.

‘…What is he afraid of?’

“I-I am truly grateful for the offer, but someone like me causing such a burden…”

“Forget about ‘someone like me’ or ‘burdens.’ From your perspective, do you like it?”

‘The colors grew darker.’

Anxiety, fear, terror, bewilderment…

This was certainly not just the kind of embarrassed emotion one feels when receiving an offer that is too good for them.

‘…He thinks he will die if he cannot refuse.’

Why?

‘Is there a Taboo preventing him from speaking the reason why he must refuse?’

The reason why he must not be close to the Apostles…

Tertius recalled the moment he first entered the Training Hall.

‘The fact that he fell the moment I opened the door… means he was leaning right against it.’

Did he want to run away?

From what?

…Tertius thought of Adna’s flashing Halo.

‘Fabio shouldn’t have been able to see that light.’

And yet, he seemed to fear that light.

Fabio cannot see divine power.

Fabio cannot receive the Blessing of Healing.

Blessings related to the mind do not work on Fabio.

Fabio cannot speak the names of the Apostles.

Among these Taboos, none were mentioned by Fabio himself.

There was no way to know how many more Taboos were placed upon him.

‘Could it be that divine power itself is poison to him?’

“I…”

“It’s uncomfortable, isn’t it?”

Fabio’s eyes widened in surprise.

“The Saintess, Adna, and I—we’re all uncomfortable too.”

“T-that’s not…”

“Who would believe you if you say it’s fine with a face like that?”

‘Thinking that he will surely die if he stays by the side of the Apostles.’

“If calling or even hearing the names of the Apostles is uncomfortable, then you would naturally be adversely affected when an Apostle exercises divine power.”

‘If there is a Taboo preventing him from saying it directly… is it possible to express affirmation indirectly?’

“The fact that your physical condition is poor right now is probably because Adna scattered divine power earlier…”

‘…A Taboo that makes the person suffer the more one tries to help. What a truly vicious idea.’

Tertius felt genuine pity for the person trembling before him.

“Divine power, honestly, it’s uncomfortable, right?”

“No, I simply cannot feel divine power, but I have never felt discomfort when touching it…”

“Right. That’s why it’s even more dangerous. Because you can’t even avoid it from your end.”

Fabio’s emotions remained a color of anxiety.

“I think there is some misunderstanding, I am truly fine. The reason my expression is like this is because I was shocked to learn that I am not only outside of Order but also someone who cannot see divine power; it is absolutely not because of the divine power itself…”

“You don’t have to force yourself to act fine.”

‘It seems expressing indirect affirmation isn’t allowed either.’

“It’s not that you did something wrong, but rather because of the Taboos placed by whoever is watching you.”

‘…I want to calm his anxiety somehow.’

To think he cannot use the Blessing of Consolation.

This was the first time he had felt such helplessness since becoming an Apostle.

“…Especially since you can’t accept the Blessing of Consolation, let alone the Blessing of Healing, right? If you force yourself to act fine and then suddenly collapse because you can’t take it anymore, there isn’t much we can do for you.”

“I-I wasn’t forcing myself to act fine. I am truly alright…”

“You’re alright?”

‘While you’re scared to death.’

“Then it would be fine to spend all day with Adna, right? No, you’d actually love it, wouldn’t you? There’s no place safer than right next to an unbreakable iron wall. There’s no reason to dislike it, right?”

There was no need to hear the answer.

Fabio’s emotions answered by rapidly shifting colors.

‘…Stupid Adna.’

“See, it’s such a simple question, yet you can’t immediately answer that you like it. That’s proof that you’re not fine.”

‘If you take the words of someone bound by layers of Taboos at face value, that person might actually die.’

“Don’t try to deceive yourself. Just because you pretend not to notice doesn’t mean it becomes nothing.”

‘I’ll have to make sure she realizes exactly what she did later.’

That she almost killed the person she wanted to protect so badly, from the inside out.

“…Then what am I supposed to do?”

“What I recommend is…”

“Do you wish for me to leave the Capital Church? I said I wanted to stay even as a handyman, is even that wish unacceptable? Because I am alien? Because I cannot accept Blessings? Because I am an existence outside of Order?”

“No, what I was trying to say was…”

Tertius was taken aback.

‘…Anger?’

“You said it wasn’t my fault. The Saintess also said I committed no sin… did that mean that no matter how hard I try, I can never be saved?”

“No, I had no such intention…”

“I told you I was fine. If the divine power causes problems for me, the Apostles and priests will purify me. Then at least I could die within the Embrace of Order…”

Tears welled up in Fabio’s eyes.

“Was even that a dream too grand for someone of my station?”

‘…Ah.’

Seeing those tears fall to the floor, Tertius realized what he had overlooked.

‘…He had the heart of a child afraid of being abandoned.’

To such a person, he should have promised time and time again.

That we would save you, no matter what.

But instead…

‘I pushed him by insisting that he clearly doesn’t fit with divine power.’

Looking at his reaction now, he could tell how that must have sounded to Fabio.

“…Ha.”

‘I’m in no position to say anything to Adna.’

Tertius carefully embraced Fabio.

‘To think he was afraid of being discarded by the Order Sect.’

“You have already entered the fence of Order, so do not worry; even your death will belong to the Lord.”

‘And if you cannot belong to the Land of Order in death, I won’t even allow you to die until I find a way.’

However, he swallowed the latter part, fearing it would only frighten him more.

“…Do you understand? I’m not sure if I’ve conveyed it properly.”

He wanted to reassure him somehow, but Fabio, held in his arms, remained tense throughout his entire body.

“I feel like there’s still some misunderstanding…”

“…I understand, so please let me go now.”

“Do you understand?”

“I-I understand that you said this because you were worried about me… so…”

Hearing those words, Tertius released his arms from around Fabio.

‘…He probably didn’t fully believe me even after hearing my words.’

But contrary to the words, Fabio’s emotions were still the colors of anxiety and terror.

“Your expression is still not great, though?”

For a moment, Fabio’s emotional color flashed with a mix of resentment and anger.

‘Why did he suddenly get emotional?’

“I-I am trying…”

“No, I told you not to try.”

‘He needs to practice speaking honestly as it is; if he keeps trying to hide his emotions, he’ll never resolve the misunderstanding with Adna.’

Just as Tertius was about to feel frustrated, Fabio’s emotional color flashed once more.

Anger, resentment, agony.

“…Ah.”

And then, as if revealing those emotions had been a mistake, colors of bewilderment, fear, and terror followed.

For a moment, Tertius wondered if he had been completely wrong about everything.

“By any chance, did I scare you?”

There was no answer, but negative emotions surged violently.

“Did my intentions not come across well? I really was worried about you…”

“I fully understand that the Sixth Apostle spoke these words out of consideration for me. I will keep your words in my heart.”

“No, I mean…”

‘I felt bad because you were so terrified…’

He had wanted to soothe him somehow.

It had never occurred to him that the object of fear would be ‘him.’

‘So what do I do now?’

While Tertius was in a slight state of panic, Fabio’s hand, which was still being held, suddenly flinched.

‘Ah.’

Only then did Tertius realize that he had unconsciously used the [Blessing of Consolation].

‘Just now, what on earth…?’

It was a mistake he would never have made under normal circumstances.

Chapter 36